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1
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:04,000
[in English]
Toto?
2
00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:06,360
-[knocking on door]
-Toto?
3
00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:08,400
[laptop playing video]
4
00:00:10,039 --> 00:00:12,039
[tense music]
5
00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:33,560
Oh, my God,
my office is on fire!
6
00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:34,680
[panting]
7
00:00:34,759 --> 00:00:37,079
I put up a screen there to look
busy when people come in.
8
00:00:38,280 --> 00:00:40,280
That's not a question
I get to ask often enough:
9
00:00:41,359 --> 00:00:44,039
what are you doing
under my desk?
10
00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:46,320
I'm looking for hints.
11
00:00:46,799 --> 00:00:48,439
-Hints?
-Yeah.
12
00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:50,960
Of how you and Ingeborg
intend to fuck me
13
00:00:51,039 --> 00:00:52,679
at the vote on my amendment.
14
00:00:52,759 --> 00:00:54,679
-Oh, that.
-Yeah.
15
00:00:54,759 --> 00:00:57,439
And you thought I might
have dropped some papers here
16
00:00:57,520 --> 00:00:59,240
with our evil power plan
all laid down on it?
17
00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:02,120
Like in a crappy Cold War
secret agent movie from the 50s?
18
00:01:02,719 --> 00:01:03,719
Well...
19
00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:08,200
-If I beg you, will you tell me?
-It's tempting.
20
00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:11,520
Even if I told you, it wouldn't
make much of a difference.
21
00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:14,410
Is she pulling
some procedural trick?
22
00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:17,240
Did she bribe the socialists?
What did she offer?
23
00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:20,049
Bigger offices? A resolution
on the 35-hour week?
24
00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:21,240
Samy, Samy.
25
00:01:21,319 --> 00:01:24,519
Why struggle-struggle
if you've lost-lost already?
26
00:01:24,599 --> 00:01:27,959
Accept the world as it is.
The Knacki is here to be eaten.
27
00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:30,840
Ingeborg is here
to get what she wants.
28
00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:42,120
[quirky music]
29
00:01:44,159 --> 00:01:45,239
[in French]
30
00:02:06,719 --> 00:02:07,959
[laughing]
31
00:02:29,159 --> 00:02:30,959
[laughing]
32
00:02:56,879 --> 00:02:58,839
[quirky music]
33
00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:05,960
[crying]
34
00:03:11,479 --> 00:03:13,119
[in English]
Rose? [sniffles]
35
00:03:13,199 --> 00:03:14,719
Rose, is that you?
36
00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:20,560
-You okay?
-No! [crying]
37
00:03:21,479 --> 00:03:24,279
I don't know why I'm crying.
38
00:03:24,759 --> 00:03:27,919
I've got everything
I ever wanted.
39
00:03:28,479 --> 00:03:32,319
The UK is out of the EU,
40
00:03:32,639 --> 00:03:36,199
I've got this perfect body,
this great hair...
41
00:03:36,879 --> 00:03:37,879
Yeah.
42
00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:40,680
They're making a biopic
of Elton John
43
00:03:40,759 --> 00:03:43,159
after all the letters I wrote.
44
00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:46,360
I think maybe
you're depressed again.
45
00:03:46,639 --> 00:03:49,879
So, if it keeps happening
this often,
46
00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:52,640
you could go and see
a psychologist, maybe?
47
00:03:52,719 --> 00:03:55,159
Why? I'm not gay!
48
00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:57,880
That wasn't exactly
what I was saying.
49
00:03:57,960 --> 00:04:01,000
I just meant that maybe
talking to somebody would help.
50
00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:02,640
I'm not crazy, Rose.
51
00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:05,760
I've just got feelings,
that's all.
52
00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:07,800
Yeah, I know.
53
00:04:09,919 --> 00:04:11,719
You could try work, maybe.
54
00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:14,680
That's what people do
to stop thinking about life.
55
00:04:15,159 --> 00:04:18,049
There's a vote on finning
at the Fisheries Committee.
56
00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:20,440
-That could work.
-That's boring.
57
00:04:20,759 --> 00:04:23,279
-Fish are boring!
-Fish are boring...
58
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,000
[clicks tongue]
59
00:04:25,319 --> 00:04:26,439
Brexit?
60
00:04:26,639 --> 00:04:29,279
-You love Brexit.
-Yeah. [sobbing]
61
00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:33,440
Negotiations are stuck
and it's chaos in Westminster.
62
00:04:33,519 --> 00:04:35,359
-You think?
-Yeah.
63
00:04:35,879 --> 00:04:40,839
A mind like yours
could be a game-changer.
64
00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:42,520
-It's a good idea.
-Yeah.
65
00:04:42,610 --> 00:04:44,480
Those technocrats,
66
00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:46,520
they don't know their left
from their right.
67
00:04:46,610 --> 00:04:48,760
Exactly. Great!
68
00:04:48,839 --> 00:04:51,839
So, good? Okay, we're good.
69
00:04:52,319 --> 00:04:54,609
But what will I focus on?
70
00:04:57,120 --> 00:04:58,120
Irish border?
71
00:04:59,759 --> 00:05:02,759
-Yeah, okay, Irish border.
-Okay.
72
00:05:03,279 --> 00:05:06,479
But what's the problem
with the Irish border?
73
00:05:10,050 --> 00:05:12,170
[in French]
74
00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:46,600
[sighs]
75
00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:44,800
[indistinct chattering]
76
00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:15,520
[in English]
So, this is the UK.
77
00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:17,560
Let's say he's Europe.
78
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:21,000
-Oh, she, that's Jenny.
-Right, so, she's Europe.
79
00:07:21,079 --> 00:07:22,119
She's Europe.
80
00:07:22,199 --> 00:07:26,359
So, what we want is a border
between the UK and Jenny.
81
00:07:26,439 --> 00:07:28,999
Right, yes, the EU.
Oh, absolutely!
82
00:07:29,079 --> 00:07:30,639
Take back control!
83
00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:33,440
We don't want a border
between N. Ireland
84
00:07:33,519 --> 00:07:34,559
and the Republic of Ireland.
85
00:07:36,199 --> 00:07:38,039
-We don't, no?
-Well, no.
86
00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:40,800
Because when we did,
we sort of had a civil war.
87
00:07:40,879 --> 00:07:43,399
Oh. We don't want that, do we?
88
00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:45,240
No...
89
00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:48,320
So, the question is:
where do we put the border?
90
00:07:48,399 --> 00:07:50,519
Right. [clicks tongue]
91
00:07:50,839 --> 00:07:53,199
-That is hard. I don't know.
-Yeah.
92
00:07:53,279 --> 00:07:54,679
Where? Okay.
93
00:07:56,279 --> 00:07:57,279
[clicks tongue]
94
00:07:57,879 --> 00:08:00,759
You have a think about that,
I'll do some emails.
95
00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:04,480
[sighs]
96
00:08:04,959 --> 00:08:08,639
[in French]
97
00:08:54,559 --> 00:08:56,559
[keyboard clicking]
98
00:08:59,679 --> 00:09:00,679
[in English]
There.
99
00:09:01,759 --> 00:09:03,159
Problem solved!
100
00:09:04,519 --> 00:09:05,559
Next.
101
00:09:10,799 --> 00:09:12,599
So, we give away
Northern Ireland?
102
00:09:13,799 --> 00:09:17,089
-Is that a problem?
-Yeah.
103
00:09:17,159 --> 00:09:18,599
It is part of the country
104
00:09:18,679 --> 00:09:20,599
so some people
have got pretty attached.
105
00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:22,919
I guess you're right.
106
00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:26,560
Plus, it was our last colony,
wasn't it?
107
00:09:29,210 --> 00:09:31,120
Call the maître d'. He'll know.
108
00:09:33,039 --> 00:09:34,089
Who?
109
00:09:38,210 --> 00:09:39,960
[in French]
110
00:10:12,450 --> 00:10:13,450
[door closes]
111
00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:23,360
[clicks tongue]
112
00:10:23,450 --> 00:10:26,520
[vocalizing]
113
00:10:31,330 --> 00:10:32,330
[slurping]
114
00:10:48,679 --> 00:10:50,959
[speaking in Spanish]
115
00:11:05,159 --> 00:11:06,719
[speaking in Spanish]
116
00:11:09,519 --> 00:11:11,119
[quirky music]
117
00:11:19,159 --> 00:11:22,159
[in English]
Because what is cannot not be
118
00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:24,040
and what is not cannot be,
119
00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:25,960
otherwise nothing
would make sense!
120
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:29,879
It's called a tautology. It's at
the root of human knowledge.
121
00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:33,200
Don't come with your
technocratic bullshit with me!
122
00:11:33,279 --> 00:11:35,039
I represent the people!
123
00:11:42,039 --> 00:11:45,719
-There is a secret fifth option.
-Oh, yeah?
124
00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:47,760
Don't say it's from me.
125
00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:50,640
That's not a problem, I'll say
it's the Sharon solution.
126
00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:51,720
In this option,
127
00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:55,160
the UK maintains its access
to the EU market,
128
00:11:56,279 --> 00:11:58,719
the Irish border
is frictionless,
129
00:11:58,799 --> 00:12:01,439
you even keep on receiving
your salary
130
00:12:01,519 --> 00:12:03,719
as a Member
of the European Parliament.
131
00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:07,920
Sold! We can call it
the Sharon settlement.
132
00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:09,560
Write that down, Rose.
133
00:12:09,639 --> 00:12:11,519
I think the option
is already called
134
00:12:12,279 --> 00:12:14,159
"remaining in the EU".
135
00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:17,280
[fake laughing]
136
00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:18,560
[in French]
137
00:12:33,639 --> 00:12:34,919
[groaning]
138
00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:10,720
[in Spanish]
139
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:23,200
[in French]
140
00:13:23,639 --> 00:13:24,639
[blows raspberry]
141
00:14:21,759 --> 00:14:23,759
[dramatic music]
142
00:14:26,519 --> 00:14:28,039
[in English]
Okay, we've checked again.
143
00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:31,280
There is no secret MI6 plan
to solve the Irish border.
144
00:14:32,639 --> 00:14:35,719
And did you Google
"Irish border" and "solution"?
145
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:38,680
To check on millions
of goods crossing
146
00:14:38,759 --> 00:14:41,239
an invisible border every day?
147
00:14:41,799 --> 00:14:44,719
-I'm afraid even Google...
-Actually, I just did.
148
00:14:44,799 --> 00:14:47,879
-But to no avail.
-Come on!
149
00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:50,440
There's an app
for everything these days.
150
00:14:50,919 --> 00:14:53,719
I can't believe there isn't one
to check a border!
151
00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:57,000
It's nonsense.
I don't claim to be an expert,
152
00:14:57,080 --> 00:15:01,480
but, you know, we could just
do something like Deliveroo,
153
00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:04,480
throw in Bitcoins
and put a bit of block-chain,
154
00:15:04,559 --> 00:15:07,759
and then just track it all
with a massive GPS?
155
00:15:09,159 --> 00:15:10,759
One moment, we're taking notes.
156
00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:13,320
-What was that about Bitcoins?
-I don't bloody know!
157
00:15:13,399 --> 00:15:15,359
[tense music]
158
00:15:22,759 --> 00:15:23,919
[door opening]
159
00:15:27,519 --> 00:15:28,519
Hey, man!
160
00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:30,600
Eamon, sorry.
161
00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:33,640
[chuckling]
162
00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:44,440
[classical music]
163
00:15:46,399 --> 00:15:47,399
[elevator doors opening]
164
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:49,560
[in French]
165
00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:04,320
[in English]
Oh, dear.
166
00:16:04,759 --> 00:16:05,759
[in French]
167
00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:17,120
[sighs]
168
00:16:46,879 --> 00:16:48,879
[tense music]
169
00:17:15,559 --> 00:17:16,599
[microphone echoes]
170
00:18:21,319 --> 00:18:24,079
[overlapping chattering]
171
00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:38,920
[applauding]
172
00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:46,080
[exhales]
173
00:18:51,079 --> 00:18:53,079
[in English]
Oh, my friend. Let's make peace.
174
00:18:53,170 --> 00:18:55,200
I win this time,
you'll win next time.
175
00:18:55,279 --> 00:18:57,409
-It's democracy, you know?
-Yeah, totally.
176
00:18:57,480 --> 00:18:58,680
[laughing]
177
00:18:58,759 --> 00:19:00,599
Let's enjoy this short moment
178
00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:02,720
before you realize that your MEP
179
00:19:02,799 --> 00:19:05,319
spontaneously withdrew
the finning amendment.
180
00:19:06,410 --> 00:19:07,410
What?
181
00:19:08,319 --> 00:19:09,319
Yeah.
182
00:19:09,410 --> 00:19:11,760
That's not...
Why would he do that?
183
00:19:12,279 --> 00:19:15,719
Good question. I think
it's because we asked him to.
184
00:19:15,799 --> 00:19:17,199
-Seriously?
-Yeah.
185
00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:19,320
[in French]
186
00:19:45,759 --> 00:19:47,759
[in English]
I thought you wanted to use
187
00:19:47,839 --> 00:19:49,889
-the chair to postpone the vote.
-Yeah, we did that too.
188
00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:52,280
Just look at my outfit.
189
00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:56,169
That was the hint I was
giving you. It's double trouble.
190
00:19:57,279 --> 00:19:58,599
Why would I wear belt
and braces?
191
00:19:58,680 --> 00:19:59,760
I don't know.
192
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:03,560
I thought it was a German thing.
193
00:20:04,039 --> 00:20:05,359
[in French]
194
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:09,200
[somber music]
195
00:20:14,359 --> 00:20:15,479
[yawning]
196
00:21:21,559 --> 00:21:22,649
[in English]
Thank you, Alan.
197
00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:24,360
Negotiators have been arguing
198
00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:26,960
over the Northern Ireland
border issue for months.
199
00:21:27,039 --> 00:21:29,679
But in a surprising turn
of events, we hear today
200
00:21:29,759 --> 00:21:32,999
that they have come up
with a "technological solution".
201
00:21:33,079 --> 00:21:36,649
According to senior diplomats
in London and I'm quoting,
202
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:38,440
It's a bit like Deliveroo,
"chuck in some Bitcoi
203
00:21:38,519 --> 00:21:41,919
and track it all
with a massive GPS."
204
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:44,760
The European Commission
has yet to comment,
205
00:21:44,839 --> 00:21:47,039
but experts are skeptical.
206
00:21:49,079 --> 00:21:50,079
[sighs]
207
00:21:51,799 --> 00:21:53,799
[tense music]
14230
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