All language subtitles for Mr Sunshine s01e10 Self Help.eng

♪

(Indistinct conversations)

Excuse me.

Is your father a thief?

Oh, God.
Please don't tell me

you're about to use
that crap line

about stealing stars
and putting them in my eyes.

No, really.
There's an old man in here

who looks a lot like you
who stole my watch.

Oh. Well, that could have
been my mom, actually.

- She's got a really short haircut these days.
- She sounds great.

- She is.
- I'm Ben.

- Vivian.
- Seriously?

Yeah, "Ben" has so much going for it.

- Are we flirting or fighting?
- I don't think we're fighting.

- Then I'm sitting.
- Okay.

Where...
(Air hisses)

(Clears throat)

- Look, you're down there now.
- Yeah.

- I'm gonna get back up.
- You should.

- You know, you actually look very familiar to me.
- Well, I once was miss America,

until they stripped me
of my crown.

- I'm still pretty upset about it.
- Yeah, no. That's not it.

I think it's because
you look like an owl. Yeah.

How far can you turn
your head around?

You know, I don't know.
Is this how people fall in love?

- What are you drinking, Ben?
- Ernie...

Two fingers of chablis.
Keep 'em coming.

Actually, just bring me that
one, and that'll probably be it.

(Blows raspberry)

I thought after we ended our
"friends with benefits" thing,

you were gonna try to have
a real relationship.

This was a real relationship...
a fully satisfying,

real relationship
that lasted six hours.

So now it's over?
I don't get it.

If you had so much fun,
why don't you call her?

I find that second dates

often lead to things like
feelings and cat allergies

and having to pretend to care
about her thoughts on the rain.

So you're really not
gonna see her again?

Never.

Ah.

And when I say never, I mean,
there she is right there.

(Whispering) Okay.
You create a diversion,

wave your arms around, and I'm
gonna tiptoe back to my office.

I think everybody
can hear me right now.

(Men) ♪ Mr. sunshine ♪

♪ Yay ♪

Good morning, Ben, Alice!

I'd like to introduce you to my
new assistant, Vivian kornelly.

It's nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you, because that's
what we're doing right now

for the first time,
meeting each other.

- Because we've never met before... each other.
- I'm gonna jump in here.

Hi. I'm Alice.
What happened to Frances?

Sadly, her medical leave
came to an unfortunate end.

- Oh, my God. She died?
- No, she had a full recovery, but the experience

made me realize life's
too short, so I fired her.

She was a pain in the ass.

Vivian, you know, you look
awfully familiar to me.

- Doesn't she look familiar to you, Ben?
- No, she does not, because I think

we've established
that we've never met before.

This is the first time we've
ever met each other... each other.

- I just have one of those faces.
- She does. She has one of those faces.

You can see it right
in the front part of her head.

Yeah, uh, well,
both of my parents

had faces in the front
of their heads, so...

Eh. I thought this
was gonna be more fun.

Vivian's only been my assistant
an hour,

and my life has changed.

She's completely
untangled my schedule.

This frees me up
to finally enjoy my life a bit.

I have the perfect metaphor
in mind... Nelson mandela.

That is the perfect metaphor.
You're so great at metaphors.

And now I'd like to
introduce you around

so that when people
need something from me,

they'll know to come to you,
like a raise or a stapler.

Don't give anyone a raise
or a stapler.

(Mouths words)

Hey, Alonzo. Can I store
my stuff in your office?

Ooh, Dave, uh, it's not
a big space to begin with.

- I'm a veteran.
- No, you're not.

No, I'm not. I'm just
a man dressed as a puma,

looking for somewhere
to store my stuff.

You know, like the saying.

(Groans)

Okay... a couple of days.

What...

Uh-huh.

No, no, dude.
Ten more seconds.

♪

Hey, mom. Could you take me
to the dentist on Thursday?

They're gonna knock me out,

and I need someone
to drive me home.

Of course.
I have more free time now,

- and that sounds just like something a mother would do.
- Thanks, mom. You're the best.

You've stopped making me feel
as ill at ease as you used to.

I'll see you
Thursday at 4:00?

Thursday at 4:00.

(Clatters)

Hey. I'm Travis. I'm 50.

You're Frank and mysterious.
I want to hear more.

I want to jump my bike over you.
What are you doing right now?

Owning this arena.
What are you doing?

I'm doing a half-pipe this
Thursday at 4:00. Interested?

I'll be there. Wait.

Do I have something
Thursday at 4:00?

Whatever it is, Vivian can
handle it. I'll be there.

Uh, why didn't tell me
that you worked here?

Uh, why didn't you tell me that
you were going to work here?

Oh, I'm so sorry.

I didn't realize
that my new secretary gig

would impress the ambassador
to... what was it, Jamaica?

- That was a joke, mon.
- Well, what do you want to...

- I mean, how do you want to handle this?
- Uh... well...

Okay.

Well, last night was great,
and you are terrific,

but we work together now,
so maybe we should

just leave it at that. I'm not
looking for anything serious,

you know, other than
my diplomatic responsibilities.

Okay, well, that's
what you're proposing,

and this is what I'm proposing.

- You've thrown me up against a wall.
- I have.

So you and I... we continue
hooking up whenever we want,

wherever we want,
with no strings attached.

You want to talk about your
parents? Find somebody else.

You want to talk about your
feelings? Find somebody else.

What if I want to talk about my feelings
about my parents? Um... find somebody else.

- I'll find somebody else.
- And we don't check in with each other,

we don't text each other,
"x-o-x-o."

- No holiday cards.
- Ugh.

- No flowers.
(Blows raspberry)

This is great.
This is my speech.

I have given this speech, like,
a thousand times, but nobody's

ever given it back to me.
This is a beautiful moment.

We just have sex
anytime we want.

I'm in.

- How about right now?
- Oh, I gotta go fill out some H.R. Paperwork.

Oh, that is important.

Hello, Vivian.
Quite an event we had last night.

I don't know. I'm not
too into bmx freestyle.

No, not that event.
The other event.

Although I suppose
we could have sold tickets.

Well, we did forget
to close the blinds,

so I'm sure my creepy neighbor
caught most of it. Man or woman?

- I would love to know.
- Well, you're doing fine work here.

Did you eat my yogurt?

I did.
Because if you mark it,

"mine. Don't touch.
Mine. Don't touch,"

then I'm going to eat it,
because I think that's funny.

What's happening? You're
acting weird... and happy.

I saw Vivian last night...
And again this morning,

and maybe later
in the zamboni garage.

Yeah, I got it.

We're amazing together.
We both like the same things,

we both make fun
of the same things,

we're both very, very
attracted to Benjamin bratt.

She's perfect. Well, this
sounds like more than just sex.

It does, doesn't it? What about all
the horrible things that can happen

on second dates...
feelings and cat allergies?

E, e, that's the thing
about Vivian.

None of that stuff happens

because we're
exactly the same person.

Except thankfully we're both
very different downstairs.

Rrrm!

(Chuckles) So what are you
saying? You're together now?

No, no, no, except yes.

Yes, just Vivian doesn't
know it yet, but she will.

Wow. This is a really big deal
for you, Ben Donovan.

You're kind of
in a relationship.

I am kind of
in a relationship.

A super-secret,
one-sided relationship.

I'm awfully proud of myself.

- Whatcha doing?
- I'm... I'm ababeling your mom's drawers

- so she knows where things are.
- Mm.

Just a little heads-up...
never go into this drawer.

Why not?

Just don't go in the drawer,
okay? It will change you.

- It changed me.
- Hey, do you know where she is?

Yes, she is, uh,
dodown by the half-pip,

flirting with some guy
who rides bicycles for a living.

Can you hand me that pencil?

I hope the personal nature
of what I'm about to ask you

does not make you
uncomfortable.

Roman... (Stammers)
We just met.

(Whispers) I need
a ride to the dentist.

Oh, I'm...
I'm so sorry, I...

Yes, I will take you
to the dentist.

I just... I thought
you were about to.

Like, drop your pass
and make me look at something.

Hey, man. Is this a good time
to bring my stuff in?

Sure.

Amen, brother.
Bring it in, guys.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Thanks, man. I really appreciate it.

Look at you.

You're sexy.

Danger is sexy.

I'm into you big-time.

Yeah? I hurt myself
all the time.

So do I.

You know, this is just like
when I was a kid.

My mom would get
involved with a guy,

and I'd spend the days
with her secretary. Yeah?

Yeah... oh, it wasn't bad.
Instead of one mom, I had seven.

And an Asian dad.
His name was Bret wong.

My mom... she wasn't really
there for me, either,

so my therapist said that
I should tell her how I feel.

Did that work?

Mm-hmm. It felt really good
to get it off my chest.

You know what?
Hmm?

- I think I'm gonna do that.
- Good for you, Roman. You should.

Um, don't tell him or anything,

but you are running circles
around Bret wong.

Get outta here.

Oh, God.

What's that smell?

He has two puma suits...
one that he wears

and one that's...
Always drying out.

Ugh.
You are being way too nice.

I think that's because he knows
you never get angry.

Sometimes I wonder
if you even know how.

I know how to get mad.

I just choose different ways
to channel my emotions.

People are always
taking advantage of you.

It frustrates me,
because I know on some level,

it's got to bug you.

Babe, how is it any different
than when we exchange back rubs,

and you make me go first
and you fall asleep,

and I'm just lying there
all naked and tense?

Well, that is different.

You have to do that.
I'm your girlfriend.

(Scary music playing)

Hey, Ben?
Yeah.

I just want you to know
that if I ever became a zombie,

you could definitely
shoot me in the head.

- And what if you weren't a zombie?
- Oh, then please don't.

Okay.

Okay.

All right. I gotta go.

What? Oh. Uh, yeah.

I mean, it is a little late.

You could stay
if you wanted to.

Nah, I'm good.

The only reason I'm saying that
is, there's been a lot of, uh,

wild dogs in the neighborhood.

I'd hate to see you taken down.
You know, by the wild dogs.

Ben, you remember
the deal, right?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. I was just
worried about the wild dogs.

(Gasps)

(Gasps)

Vivian.
What are you doing here?

Um, I-I was just looking
for the bathroom.

That is so funny.
I just came from there.

That is funny.

(Both chuckle)

I mean that's not... it's not "ha
ha" funny, but that is funny.

Oh, hey, did you ever
talk to your mom?

No. Uh, yeah, uh,
well, I was going to,

but she just seemed so happy
with that guy.

When the time is right.

Mm-hmm. Hey, I got an idea.
If you're gonna spend the night,

you want to make waffles
in the morning?

Oh. Yeah, I'm... I'm actually
not spending the night.

Oh. Okay.

Uh... I could.

Yeah?

Yeah. Yes, I-I am
gonna spend the night.

Great. (Giggles)

Oh, uh-oh.

I almost saw your tushie.
(Giggles)

I'm gonna stay.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, Roman asked me to.

He's just so sweet,
I can't say no to him.

Yeah. I mean,
how do you say no to Roman?

He's got such a sweet face.
Thank you, Roman.

(Roman) You're welcome, Ben.

I'll go shut the door.

Is there any more coffee?

Yeah. Do you need
more coffee? Sure.

This is incredible.
She will do anything for you.

Listen, buddy,
I need you to do me a favor.

It's a little complicated,
but...

- Will you ask her to spend the day with us?
- Well, is it because

you want to advance the casual
"friends with benefits" thing

in a much more substantial
relationship with her?

Okay, so it's not
that complicated,

but will you do it?
Will you do it? Will you d...

Hey, Vivian.
You want to hang out today?

You know, maybe go to the park,
hit the arcade?

You know what?

That actually
does sound pretty fun. Sure.

Okay, great. And maybe later
some of us can take a jacuzzi.

Aw, I'll go get my bathing suit.
I got it in Europe.

Wait. What does that mean?

♪

(Cheers and applause)

Hey, I'll tell you what.
I'll grab some popcorn.

Why don't you guys
meet me up in my box?

Ooh! And I'll get some balloons.
(Laughs)

Hey.
So how's it going?

Fantastic.

Does your girlfriend know
she's your girlfriend yet?

Well, I try not to talk
about stuff like that,

but we did have
an amazing day together,

and I'm thinking
about stepping it up.

- I just gotta make sure that Roman's free.
- If you have feelings for her, you should tell her.

Yes, that would be
the next logical step,

but if you think about it,
how hard is it gonna be

to keep Roman around
for the rest of our lives?

I mean, what's that guy
got going on? Nothing.

(Man)
Ladies and gentlemen,

let's bring all eyes
to the top of the arena

for 1987's overall champion,
Travis Wilson.

(Cheering)

Travis will perform
his signature stair launch

from the top of the arena.

He's set...

He's off!

(Boing)

He's airborne...

(Wheels spin, crash) Oh!

And... he's misgauged it.

Travis!

Are you okay?

Hey. Did you see me?

You were awesome.

Oh, honey, when I was halfway
down, flying through the air,

right before I hit my head
hard on the concrete,

I thought about you. It's time
for me to give up this dream

and start a new one...
with you.

Yeah. Travis, I don't...
come back with me to Portland.

I'll work on my father's bread
truck. You can raise my kids.

Ow. All you have to do
is get me to the dentist first.

(Gasps) Travis,

I would love to share your
doomed and impractical dream,

but I can't.
Someone needs me more.

(Slaps arm)
Take care of him, fellas.

Well, that didn't go very well.

Roman.

I'm sorry I chose another man
over your teeth.

But I-I feel awful,
and I ended it with Travis.

I'm through putting
other men ahead of you.

I won't let you down again.
Okay, sweetheart?

- No. It's not okay.
- I'm sorry, what?

Based on our past,
I just... I can't believe you.

It's just, you can't
say that anymore.

All right.

I won't say it.

And I'll... start...

Trying to do it.

Okay.

So what do we do now?

I was just gonna go
grab another beer.

Well, that sounds like

something a mother and son
can do together.

(Both giggle)

(Groans)

- Oh. You go ahead.
- Ah, cool.

That was so great.
I am so proud of him.

Yeah.

Well, I'm gonna hit it.

Wait.

Uh, just because Roman left

doesn't mean
we can't still hang out.

Ben, come on.
You know the deal.

Okay, listen, I'm just gonna
throw all my cards on the table.

I know when we first met
we both wanted the same thing,

but, uh... (Chuckles)

I want more.

Ben, I... wait, wait, wait.
Just... just hear me out.

Six months ago,
I was the kind of guy

that would run screaming from
any of this, but I changed.

And you are so much like me,
that you could change, too.

I just think about
the great day that we had today.

The fun, the laughs,
you got to see two

pasty white guys in a jacuzzi...
I mean, that's pretty fun.

That was... that was fun.
The thing is, that I meant

what I said about not looking
for a relationship.

Sorry.

Yeah. Sorry, too.

So unfair.

Well, I'll be okay.

No. I mean that I'm gonna
have to get another job now.

- What? Why?
- Because... you've ruined everything.

It's gonna be
all strange at work now.

You're gonna pretend
like everything's fine,

and then I'm gonna look over,
and you're gonna be giving me,

like, weird, wounded looks.
And then you're gonna get

a little too drunk
at an office party,

and you're gonna grab my boob,
and I'm gonna have to sue you,

and then you're gonna end up
punching my dad in court.

Unless...

Unless what?

Unless we just pretend like this
conversation never happened.

We go back to the...

The sex-with-no-strings-
attached... thing.

Can you do that?

(Ball bounces off door)

I saw her leave.
How you doing?

I'm good. I'm okay.

- You sure?
- Yeah.

I mean, she said

she wasn't looking for
anything more when we met,

so technically
she didn't do anything wrong.

And yet, I hate her.
And it makes me angry

when I think about
her stupid, beautiful face.

Maybe she just wasn't ready,
and you were.

Yeah, that could be it.

I mean, it couldn't possibly
be me, right? I'm fantastic.

I'm sorry you put yourself
out there and she said no.

- That blows.
- Yeah, it does. It does blow.

You want to know something else?
I turned down meaningless sex.

I mean, that's the dream.
What the hell's happening to me?

Well, as much as you hate this,

and in spite of your best
efforts, you are growing up.

There are seven melted raisinets
in my pocket right now.

Listen to me.
You wanted more.

You were looking
for something real.

I'm proud of you.

Hey, did I...

Ever make you feel like this?

Me? No. I was fine.

Really.

Really?

Really.

Do you think
that I look like an owl?

Oh, my God.
That's what it is.

Uh! Thank you.

You're welcome.

(Disco music playing) All right, boys.
Here we go. Let's go.

Hey, fellas? I have a ton
of work to do, so if...

(Turns music off) So if you
don't mind wrapping it up...

I'm stuck 2 grand.
I can't walk away now.

I'm gonna buy myself the finest
cakes in all the land.

Pies and cakes?
Yeah, pies and cakes.

Where's my tiny rake?

- What?
- For my zen garden. My tiny rake is gone.

Oh, that thing. Yeah, I had some
itchy dry skin on my inner thigh

that was driving me nuts.
Then I dropped it down my suit,

and who knows where the hell
it is down there? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, buddy.

I'll give you
a 30-second head start.

Hey, man. Calm down.

This doesn't
involve you, brother.

Go.

29... 28...

27... 26...

Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0