All language subtitles for Mr Sunshine s01e09 Ben and Vivian.eng

-Good morning, Heather.
-Hey, Ben, Crystal wants to see you.

And I tried to call your
apartment this morning,

but you must have given me
the wrong number again.

This time I got
Habib's Falafel.

I must have written it down
wrong every single time you ask me for it.

It's tough for me to handle
your affairs if I don't have access to you all the time,

wherever you are,
day and night.

Okay. Well, I'll give it
to you again sometime

so that you'll be able
to reach me in the nighttime.

-Okay.
-Man, she's amazing.

I wanna ask her out
on a real date,

I'm just so nervous
to be alone with her.

I'm nervous, too.
I actually eat dinner at Habib's Falafel.

She's closing in!

I've just never liked a girl
as much as Heather.

She's sweet and funny
and loyal.

Hey, you know she can
climb a wall without a rope or anything?

You know, Roman, are you sure
you wanna go on a date with Heather?

Something could go wrong,
and then she'd be like...

(IMITATES EXPLOSION)

and you'd be the...
(IMITATES EXPLOSION)

What are you two
whispering about?

Oh, nothing.

Just talking about how hard
it is to find the one.

You know, like guys do.

(IMITATES EXPLOSION)

-Morning, Gilligan.
-I wouldn't say I love that.

Crystal, why did you call us
both into your office?

And just so you know,
we've talked about this,

we are not doing any
more scenes from Lethal Weapon for you.

I called you here
because I want you to meet my prize show dog,

Riverdale Admiral
Horatio Nelson Ticklefight.

He does look like
a Riverdale Admiral Horatio Nelson Ticklefight.

Nice to meet you.

Uh, what's shakin'?

As you know, the San Diego
dog show is here, and it's Horatio's

last chance to win
best in show.

So I need to find
the most handsome,

charismatic man I know
to present my dog.

Now after much consideration,

and a rather uncomfortable
conversation with Maury Povich,

I've narrowed it down
to the two of you.

Crystal, no.
This is ridiculous.

I'm not taking part
in some stupid competition that I didn't sign up for.

Oh, good!
Because I chose Alonzo.

And now suddenly,
I do wanna take part in it.

-Why him?
-Because of his good looks, his general appeal,

and the fact that he was
a former NBA star.

Alonzo, it would
truly be an honor

to have you walk my dog
in front of a bunch of rich, childless people.

Crystal, was there a reason
you called me in here?

Don't be petty, I have
something for you, too.

I dropped my pen
behind my console,

and I need your delightfully
small hands to retrieve it.

I do not have small hands.

I'll get the pen.

Crystal, I am flattered.
I just don't think a dog show is my thing.

Please. This is Horatio's
last chance.

I'm retiring him
on humanitarian grounds.

My vet said his little body
can't take any more plastic surgeries.

(BARKS AND WHINES)

-All right. I'll do it.
Whatever. -Wonderful!

You have just put a big smile
on this little fella's face.

You just can't see it
with all the botox.

I got it. I have it.

You understand that the reason
I could reach the pen was a dexterity issue.

Hey, I need you guys
to help me tomorrow.

An old, dear friend
from high school who I can't friggin' stand is coming by,

and I need to impress her.

Jessica thought she was
better than me in high school.

She stole my boyfriend Dan,
and now they're married,

and she thinks they
have this perfect life,

although I don't know
why I really care.

-Dan was a face licker.
-A what?

-I think she said
"Face licker." -I did.

-He licked my face
when we made out. -Ugh!

But now I feel like
I'm in a good place.

I have a job I love,

I'm finally dating
a great guy.

-Thank you, baby.
-Yes, thank you, baby.

So you'll come to dinner
with us tomorrow,

be your amazing self,
and just shove it in that dumb hooch's face.

You want me to make your
friend feel bad about herself?

-I do.
-Sure, babe.

-You are such a good man.
-Do you need me for anything?

Does anybody need
me for anything?

Yes. If you see me
with Jessica, come up and say you need my expertise,

and hand me an urgent message.

Well, that won't
make any sense.

An urgent marketing message?

"Oh, my God, the bobble heads
aren't stupid enough."

-You're stupid enough.
-Yeah, okay. I'll do it.

CHORUS:
* Mr. Sunshine, yay!

-Hey, Ben.
-Hello, Heather.

You know how you were
saying how hard it is to find the one?

Well, would you ever like
to be set up on a date?

I have the perfect girl
for you.

I don't think so, Heather.
I'm not really good at setups.

I'm sure you're great
at them and you're a terrific judge of character.

Is that a framed picture
of the Unabomber?

-Yeah. He signed it.
-Oh, I wanna...

I wanna go.

Oh, I almost forgot.

You have a meeting tonight
with pro skateboarder Tony Hawk.

Tony Hawk? I do?

I love Tony Hawk.
How did this happen?

He called, saying he
got all your letters

asking to include
The Sunshine Center on his tour,

and he'd like to have dinner
tonight to discuss it.

Tony Hawk.
This is so exciting.

I guess you're right,
if you pester celebrities long enough,

eventually, they have
to notice you.

Oh! Let's go ahead and send
another muffin basket to Carrie Underwood.

Hey, Diane.
I'm here to meet Tony Hawk.

The Tony Hawk,
who's here to meet me.

I'm here to meet him,
he's here to meet me.

I think I get it.
Right this way.

Hey. I'm sorry.

I'm confused.
I'm supposed to be meeting Tony Hawk,

and I don't think
he'd be wearing that.

(LAUGHS)

I, uh, I think someone's
playing a little practical joke on you.

Is it Tony Hawk?

Does he know me well
enough to know that I'd find that funny?

No, um, it's Heather.
I'm her sister.

Okay, I think we're having
some sort of misunderstanding.

So I'm gonna go talk
to the ropers,

and we'll get
to the bottom of this.

And, uh, maybe we can meet up
later at the Regal Beagle.

And you can look at a girl
and fall off your bicycle into the sand.

Uh, listen, I don't think
I can do this.

-Heather is...
-Insane?

(CHUCKLES) I was gonna say
my assistant,

but your word is really,
really, really right, too.

Heather is unique,
but she does have a really good heart.

But she did not tell me
how good looking you are.

Well, I got myself
all gussied up for Tony Hawk.

Funny, too.

Look, I know that this isn't
what you were expecting,

so if you wanna go,
I totally get it.

Oh, no, I can, I can stay.
You seem great.

-Wanna watch me
make out with the hostess? -Really?

No. I'm not that great.
(LAUGHS)

No, listen,
I don't have any plans. I was just gonna go home

and remove my pants
and watch Tootsie again.

I love Tootsie.
That's my favorite movie.

-Oh, Dustin Hoffman's
my favorite actor. -Mine, too!

I actually do
a Dustin Hoffman impression.

I mean, I'm not gonna
do it right now, unless you want me to.

I'm gonna do it.

Okay, this is Dustin Hoffman
saying the word "Why."

-(IMITATES DUSTIN HOFFMAN)
Why. -Oh!

Oh, my God! That's him!
You are Dustin Hoffman saying the word "Why."

-Well, tell me about you.
-No, I like talking about you.

So what else are you into?

Well, I like hockey,

and British bands
of the '80s, tennis,

and, uh, cartoon bears.

Now you go.

Oh, well, let's see.

Um, I like, um,
hockey,

uh, British bands
of the '80s, and tennis.

Oh, and cartoon bears.

That's funny, uh...

'Cause you were just repeating
all the same things that I said that I liked.

I wanna know what you like.

It just so happens
that I like all the same things that you like.

Uh.

Okay. Well, what about
Kelly Ripa?

-I love Kelly Ripa.
-I love Kelly Ripa.

I don't really
love Kelly Ripa.

She's too fit and perky,
and she seems to work way too much.

She does work too much.
And why is she so fit?

You know, I don't
like Kelly Ripa.

(DOGS BARKING)

Now remember,
chin up, knees high. Step, step, step, step, step.

It comes from here, not here.

Oh, and you should also know,

Horatio can be
a bit of a drama queen.

So any small surprise
move can make him react pretty dramatically.

You got it all?

Crystal, you need to remember,
I'm used to the intensity of professional basketball.

-I think I can handle this.
-That's right.

You're used to team sports.

So you should be comfortable
wearing a uniform.

I had it fitted for you
to thematically coordinate with my admiral.

Not a chance.

Hey, sweetie.

-How's it going?
-Wow! You look amazing.

Well, I should. I just spent
the last three hours

getting ready for this
visit with Jessica.

No way has she lost
all that baby weight yet.

This is gonna make her hurt.

I don't think this is
my favorite side of you.

Hey, Ben,
before you say anything...

You told me I was
gonna meet Tony Hawk.

I said before
you say anything.

-Oh, okay.
-I'm sorry for tricking you.

I knew if I asked,
you would have said no.

But did you have a good
time with Stephanie? Did you love her?

I hope you loved her.

She was very agreeable.

(SQUEALS) She loved you, too.

You should definitely
go out with her again.

Oh, yeah. I'm definitely
gonna go out with her again.

-Hey, I have an idea.
-No, you don't.

-What if the four
of us go out? -What? What? What?

This'll be great.
Double the date and double the fun.

-Oh, my God, sure.
-Oh, my God.

Get in my office.

What are you doing to me?
I don't wanna go out with Stephanie again.

But you said you found her
very agreeable.

In this case,
it's not a compliment.

She literally agreed
with everything I said.

-You know how
annoying that is? -Yes. No.

I don't know what
you want me to say.

Let me make this
very clear for you.

I am not going out
with Stephanie again.

It's just one date!
I told you, I'm nervous to be alone with her.

What are you talking about?
You're alone with her all the time in the office.

I know, but there's something
about being on a real date that just changes everything.

Opening doors
and paying for stuff.

Is it five pats of butter
or is it six pats of butter?

What the hell
are you buttering?

I don't even know.
That's why I need you there.

-Listen, Roman,
this woman is... -Ben, please.

I like Heather so much,
and I know I'm gonna blow this on my own.

Will you do this
for me?

One date.

Yes! Thank you so much!

-I do have one more question.
-Is it about butter?

I do not have
any more questions.

It's so cool that you
have this place right here in the arena.

Oh, yeah, we got
everything, nightclub, used puck bags, hockey.

We both love hockey.

Roman, perhaps you've
got an interesting story about hockey,

or a colorful anecdote?

Oh, well...

I used to play hockey.

I never played hockey.

Uh, I think that was
a great story, Roman.

There was a beginning
and an end,

and a couple
of twists in there.

I really enjoyed the ride.

What a twisty story
from beginning to end. I, too, enjoyed the ride.

Okay, well, we should
get some food going.

You guys sit tight,
I'll go to the kitchen and find out what's going on.

It's hard to have dinner
without dinner.

-It is hard to have dinner
without dinner. -Oh, boy!

-Hey, buddy.
-Hey, what are you doing here?

Oh, Ben, I'm about to do
a dance walk with a yorkie

who looks eerily
like Bruce Jenner.

I thought I'd throw
back a few.

-How 'bout you?
-I'm on a double date with Heather and her sister.

-Heather's sister? Really?
-Yeah, it's not serious.

I'm just doing it for
Roman tonight. Then it's over.

She's really weird.

Look, Ben, uh,
I'm not supposed to reveal this information,

but under the circumstances...

Uh, the details are fuzzy,
but what I heard was,

uh, the guy Heather
lit on fire was her sister's ex-boyfriend.

Apparently, Heather is pretty
protective of her sister.

Like, "Dude's got skin from
his butt on his face" protective.

That wasn't fuzzy.
What was fuzzy about that?

But Heather's better now,
right?

She works here,
she's better.

You have to hope so.

Look, if I were you,
I'd be very careful how you end it.

In fact, get her
to break up with you.

-That way you can avoid...
-Death?

-Yes.
-I'd like to. I'd like to avoid death.

Good luck with that.
I gotta go.

These jazz shoes
are murdering my toes.

ANNOUNCER: Number 16,
Ricky McThorson.

(CROWD CHEERING)

And now, being walked
by Alonzo Pope,

Riverdale Admiral
Horatio Nelson Ticklefight...

Let's do this thing,
Ticklefight.

It's your year, baby.

MAN 1: All right, Alonzo!

MAN 2: Hey, 'Zo!

MAN 3: Alonzo!
Represent, man!

Well, what's up, San Diego?

A-ha! I see you!

What you gonna do?
Bow, wow, wow, baby.

And that was it.
That's when I knew exactly how I felt about slinkies.

That was a great story, Roman.

Much better than my story
about the day I learned

I had the power
that I could heal scrapes and bruises with my mind.

Roman, why don't we give these
two lovebirds some privacy?

-I have to pee.
-You need me?

I just want you to stand
outside the door, hold my purse

and make sure
no looky-loos pop in.

-Okay.
-Okay.

(SOFTLY) I'm gonna take her
to the restroom.

You made this happen.

So, Stephanie, you mentioned
you like living alone.

That sounds really nice.

I'd love to live on my own,
if I could ever move out from living with my mom.

Oh, you live
with your mom?

Yes, we're incredibly close.

We cuddle, hold hands, kiss.
We're close.

I kiss my mom, too.
I kiss her all over her face.

Well, it's just for the time
being, you know, while money's tight.

Speaking of which,
could I borrow some money?

-You want me
to loan you money? -Yes, I do.

Don't you find that weird
and off-putting?

It's only weird if you think
I'd expect it back from you.

That yours to keep, fella.

Oh, good, food's here.

Oh, before we eat, Heather
and I wanted to make a toast.

Um, to Ben, thank you so much
for being here tonight. It meant a lot to me.

And, uh, to you and Steph,
our favorite new couple.

I hope you guys stay together
forever and ever.

So don't you ruin this,
mister.

Don't you break
both of our hearts.

Let's eat.

Did you just lick my face?

Yeah. I am really into that.

-Well, I'm not.
-I'm not, either.

Okay, that's it.

-You know what?
That is it. -Sit down.

I should be sitting.

I know how important
this was to all of you that this work out,

but, Stephanie, I'm sorry.

We're not right
for each other, we're too similar.

And they say
opposites attract, so... (MUTTERS)

Roman, I was trying to be
here for you throughout all of this, but come on.

Heather, I'm not sure how
you're gonna react to this.

But I just want to let you
know that I like my butt,

and I don't want any of it
anywhere on my face.

-I understand, Ben.
-You do?

Yeah, sometimes these
things don't work out.

That's very calm of you.

I just thought, you're both
attractive and single,

and with your healthy
narcissism and her desperate need to please,

you guys would be
a perfect match.

Uh, that actually makes sense.

Does that make sense,
Ben? Does it?

I don't understand.
You're not agreeing with me. What's happening right now?

What's happening is,

we were getting
along perfectly.

I don't think we were.
You were just repeating everything I said.

I was trying to be polite!

I mean, what do you
want me to do? Tell you what I really think?

-That Tootsie sucks!
-Oh!

And just because a girl laughs
once at your Dustin Hoffman impression,

doesn't mean you have
to do it every time you say the word "Why."

(IMITATES DUSTIN HOFFMAN)
Why, why, why, why.

Why, why, why! Why, why, why!

Stephanie, stop it.

I thought you changed,
but you do this every time.

You think the only way
that you can get with a guy

is if he agrees
with everything you say like a psycho.

But big surprise,
it scares him off.

It's not me. I'm awesome.

Who says that
one of their favorite things are cartoon bears?

That's called "A secret."

-Seriously,
this guy's a loser. -Okay, that's enough.

Do you know how hard
it was for him to do this? To be that honest?

To be that mature?
This is a stunted, stunted man.

But, he's also a great guy,
a great boss, and a great friend.

Have you seen how
he spent the entire date trying to make Roman

feel comfortable
so he could have a good first date?

-You saw that?
-I did.

But, you don't need him.

Whatever, you know what?
I can do much better than him.

Are you joking?
Think about all the losers you've gone out with.

-You're one to talk.
-You remember that one guy

who said his friend
was gonna get us free cable...

(BOTH ARGUING INDISTINCTLY)

I'm gonna go.

-I should slap you.
-I should slap you.

I'm gonna stay.

MAN: Come on, Alonzo!

(CROWD CHEERING)

(WOMAN SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY)

(CHEERING LOUDLY)

Whoo! Yeah!

Aah! You know it!

Alice, you would not believe
the night that I have had.

This is my friend Jessica.

-Hi, Jessica.
-Hey.

Jessica!

-I have an urgent
message for you. -Oh? What is it?

(WHISPERING) We didn't
discuss what the urgent message would be.

-She can hear you.
-I'm whispering.

ALONZO: Hey-o!
(LAUGHS)

We did it.
We did it.

Alonzo Pope is back.

Wow, that felt good.
I haven't been in the spotlight in a while,

so I thought my need
for glory was gone,

but something about hearing
that crowd made me realize,

it's still in me.
And it's alive, so alive.

Fantastic! Thank you
for your help.

Oh, I'm not done yet.
Best in show round is next.

We 'bout to kick
some pooch ass.

Yeah. Uh, here's the thing,

since this is the final round
in Horatio's short life, I'd like to present him.

You know,
for sentimental reasons.

Well, that's not fair.

-Hand me the dog.
-No.

-No?
-No!

-Hand me the dog, Alonzo!
-Crystal, we've come too far!

-Alonzo...
-Would you...

-Give him!
-Honey?

Oh! Hey, baby.
Hey, you must be Jessica.

Hey, give me the dog back.

That's the boyfriend you've
been bragging about?

Captain Stubing
fighting over a Scottie?

Well, that's a yorkie,
and he's actually a finalist

in a quite prestigious
regional dog show.

Hand over Mr. Ticklefight,
Crystal!

Alonzo, no sudden moves,
he'll recede into his shell.

Oh, great. You've
shut down Horatio.

Well, congratulations, you've
clearly snagged a good one.

Well, no, he's not usually,
most of the time...

You know what, Jessica?
He is a good one,

and I don't care
what you think.

And you know what else?
I'm glad you stole Dan. He's a dirty face licker.

Hey! I'm your
commanding officer.

And I order you
to wake up, sailor!

I'm really sorry
about tonight.

That's not how
I wanted dinner to go.

Oh, no, that's okay.
I had fun.

The truth is,
I was really excited to go on a date with you.

Maybe next time, we should
go without the crazies.

Yeah.

-Hey.
-Did you see that?

-You made that happen.
-Oh, no, it was all you, buddy.

And you were right about her.
She's a great girl.

Heather? I have something
for you.

-It's my phone number,
and that one will work. -Great. Thanks, Ben.

You've earned it.

So is this the number
to the cordless phone in the kitchen

or the old-fashionedy one
on your nightstand?

Nightstand.

(CROWD CHEERING)

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0