All language subtitles for Mr Sunshine s01e08 The Assistant.eng

We have a problem.
Oh! God.

Yeah. I know.
It's 1,000 degrees in here.

What are you talking about?

Well, the air conditioning
must be broken. Aren't you hot?

I wear a thick velvet
Puma suit 10 hours a day.

I've learned to hydrate
in ways that disgust even me.

Look, I want a raise.

I work my ass off
for this place every night.

We've been over this.

You're only
supposed to work four hours a week.

And yet, you're always here
in the suit,

and no one knows why.

I'll tell you why.
Because I engender pep.

People need pep.
And I am pep.

I would really like to think

that this conversation's
almost over.

If you don't
give me a raise, I will quit.

Leave the suit
at the front gate.

I'm at rock bottom.

Hey! How's everybody doing?

It's a little hot.

Yes, it is.
It is a little hot.

And that's a problem,
because tomorrow night,

thousands of people
are coming here for the big game.

And today, the team
needs to practice.

So can you,
as maintenance men, make it a little less hot,

with your tools
and your vast knowledge of ducts?

Where's Robert?
I'm Robert.

Right. Yes. Of... Of course.

I... I was talking about
the air conditioning guy Robert.

You mean Louis.
He quit because you kept calling him "Robert."

Okay. Well, we have
to track him down. Who... Who can do that?

Louis used to
track people down.

So Louis
was a fairly big loss.

Listen, people can't work
this way.

We have to
cool this place down as soon as possible,

don't you think so, Donny?
That's Ted.

Well, you guys know
how hard it is to remember all these names.

We know your name is Ben.

Well, that's easy.
I look like a Ben.

So in the spirit of that,

what do you say today,
I call you all "Steve"?

My name actually is Steve.

Well, what a win-win
for you, Steve.

Can we get
the air conditioning fixed...

Steves?

(CHUCKLES)

(FAN CLICKS)

Crystal, do not worry.
I'm on the air conditioning thing.

And we'll apologize
to the women basketball players

and fill their lockers
with extra lady razors.

They must go through
those things like candy.

Oh, I don't care
about that,

other than how
it's completely murdering my hairdo.

The maintenance workers
are all in a tizzy

because you apparently
insisted on calling them all "Steve"?

How do you know about that?

That happened, like,
three minutes ago.

A little bird told me.

Ted Littlebird.

That handsome
native American fellow who works in maintenance.

Jim's his brother.

We have two Littlebirds
working here?

You'd think that would have
come up more often.

Exactly my point.
You don't know the name

of anybody who works here,

and they've had it
with your insensitivity.

That is not fair.
I have made a solid effort to connect with people here.

I may not know
all of their names, but when they walk

down the hallway,
I'll say, Hello... Hello... Hello there.

And there's one guy
that I always call "Chief."

Unfortunately, it's not one of
the two Indian gentlemen you mentioned earlier.

Well, regardless,
the Steves refuse to go back to work,

so you have to apologize.

And for God's sake,
learn their names. Basic management skills.

Oh, please.
Like you know everybody's names?

I most certainly do.
And I've worked very hard at it.

What do you think
I do in here all day?

Oh, I don't want
to think about that.

(KNOCKING)
Pardon me. Crystal?

I just wanted to drop off
this week's banana bread.

And I think
that I can get you the attendance breakdown

a day earlier this week.

Oh, Diane.

Diane.

Oh, Diane...

Thank you.
Pleasure.

Bye, Diane.
(SNIFFS)

You see,

in order to be a boss
who is liked

and to get the most
out of your employees,

you have to do the basics.

(THUDS)

Say hello, learn their names,

and every now and then,
throw them an ice cream party.

People like me.

I would even
go so far as to say,

they find me to be
an unbridled delight.

(LAUGHS)

Oh, no, they don't.

Okay. Well, you know what?

If they're not going
to notice the effort

I've been
putting out there, then... Then the hell with them.

I'll fix
the air conditioning myself.

Well, do it!
Do it quickly!

(GASPING)

(BOTH LAUGHING)

There you two are!

I have been
meaning to tell you

that watching
your relationship bloom and flourish

has been both fascinating
and enlightening.

Thank you?
Uh, okay. Sure. Yeah, thank you.

And since you two
are really making it work,

I'd love for you
to meet my new fella.

What do you say
to a double date?

Really?
That'd be great!

What an honor, Crystal.
Let's say Friday.

Oh, Darius
will be thrilled!

Oh, Darius?
That's my fella's name.

Darius Washington.

Ring a bell, Alonzo?

Hmm. No. Should it?

Well, I just assumed
all you brothers knew each other.

(LAUGHING)

Um, you know what, Crystal?

I just realized,
we have something Friday.

I don't think we do.
I'm certain we do.

Well...

Some other time, then.

Um, did you just pick up
on what was going on there?

Yeah. As subtle as it was,
I got it.

She obviously
just asked us out

because she's dating
a black man, and then assumed

that you would know him
because he's a "brother."

Look, it's no surprise
Crystal is insensitive.

This is the woman who handed
Yo-Yo Ma her dry cleaning.

But the point is,
she wants to have dinner with us.

She's trying. I think
we should have said yes.

Really?
Yeah.

And who knows?
She spends time with us, and the next time,

she won't ask the guys
from Los Lobos to park her car.

(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

Hey, Ben,
what you doing?

Well, the Steves
refuse to work still,

so I figured I'd take a look
at the air conditioning myself.

I'm fairly handy.
I once installed blinds in my bathroom.

That's not true.
I've never done that.

You're an amazing man, Ben.
Thank you, Roman.

So I got the results
of the poll.

The popularity poll?

You've been vindicated.

People like me.

Oh. I do not know
what "vindicated" means.

Well, you must have slanted
the question somehow.

How did you ask it?
"I like Ben. Do you?"

And no one...
Not a one.

Let me finish the question!

(MACHINES HUMMING)
Okay, fine. So they don't like me.

I'm not their friend,
I'm their boss.

I shouldn't have to learn
everybody's names

just to get them
to do their jobs.

It's time for everybody
to grow up

and start
being professionals.

(DOOR CLOSES)

Yeah, I got to learn
their names.

CHORUS: * Mr. Sunshine, yay!

Hey.
Hey.

I have a great idea
on how you can learn people's names.

It's a system I used
when I went to the University of Phoenix

so I could get to know
my fellow classmates.

But that's
an online University that has no campus.

Which made it
that much harder. I see.

Okay. So what I did was,
I wrote everyone's name

and put their photo
on a card.

Now all we have to do
is think of a description of that person

that matches their initials.
We write it on the card,

and then you can study them
like flash cards.

Roman, that's actually
a really good idea.

I know.
(CHUCKLES)

Okay. Fred Patterson.

Fred Patterson.
F. P.

How about
"Friendly personality"?

Uh, "Friendly personality"
is a little too vague.

I'm going to go with
"Fat pumpkin."

Wow.
I mean look at his face, that's like a blimp.

And he's got
a very odd skin hue.

Doug Miller...
"Disgusting moles."

No...
Look at those things. Look at that one right there.

No, I don't... That... Yeah.

Wayne Fredericks.
"Walks funny."

Ben, I don't...
I don't think this is right.

No, it's right.
He walks like

there's a giant beach ball
between his knees.

This is so much fun!

I'm going to do this
with everybody who works here!

Michelle Gritzer.

"My... Grand..."

Hmm.
I'll remember that.

Oh, Crystal.

I checked our calendar,
and Alonzo was right.

We are free Friday.

Oh, well, great.
I'll go ahead and make the reservations.

I think everyone
will be happy with barbecue.

Barbecue? Why barbecue?

(CHUCKLES)

That's a good one.

(LAUGHING)

Excuse me, everyone.
I have something to say.

Oh, golly.
Frozen burritos down, fellas.

Thank you
for your enthusiasm, Robert Ketterman.

You see, Jeff Sheehan,
Fred Patterson...

I may have come across
a little harsh today, Doug Miller.

We could blame it
on the heat.

But I'd like to apologize,
Leo Peccini,

Ryan Mills,
Rod Sherwood,

for my behavior, Bruce McAdam,

and both Littlebirds,
Ted and Jim.

Well, thanks, Ben.

Thanks a lot.
You're welcome, Robert Ketterman.

Boy, it sure is hot in here.

You know what?
I suppose we could take

another crack
at fixing the air.

Oh, I would really
appreciate that, fellas.

(CHUCKLES)
Sure, Ben.

Whoa! You scared me,
Steve Gurtner.

Roman, I have found
your job for the day.

Pack up all the fans
and put them in storage, because I did it!

I learned everybody's names,
and they're fixing the air.

That's awesome!

They patted me on the back.
They smiled at me.

No one's ever smiled
at me before,

except for that woman
in bookkeeping,

creepy smile,
Carol Sanderson.

Oh, no. That's not a smile,
that's a wince.

She has chronic back pain.
Oh, it doesn't matter.

The point is that
I started this just to get people back to work,

but then I enjoyed connecting.

I think I like it
when people smile at me.

I'm going to go let them
smile at me some more.

Yeah! Just like that.

Nice job,
Fred Patterson.

Hey, thanks, Ben.

Hey, great sweeping,
Angie Albertini.

Have a good night, Ben.

Hey, thanks for holding
the elevator, Wayne Fredericks.

(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

That is one happy ficus,
Matt Smith.

You bet, Ben.

Hey, everyone!
The air conditioning's back on!

(CHEERING)

Good job.

Here you go, Ben.

I hope you don't mind,
I made it with walnuts.

I don't mind.
I love banana bread. I love walnuts.

And I love you,
Diane De La Guardia.

Oh, you're nice.

Oh!

(WARBLING VOICE)
Hello.

(LAUGHS)

(WARBLING VOICE)
* Do you believe in life after love?

(FAN CLICKS)

* I can feel something
inside me say

* I really don't think
you're strong enough, no

* Do you believe in life
after love, love,

* Love, love, love, love.

* I can feel something
inside me say

* I really don't think
you're strong enough, no

* Do you believe in life
after love, love, love

* Love, love, love

Hey, Leo Peccini,
have you noticed that it's hot again?

Why is that, Jeff Sheehan?

Hey, it's Angie Albertini.
Hey, Fred Patterson.

Fred Patterson.
Fred patterson, What's up?

Don't you mean
"Fat pumpkin"?

Oh!

Tina Lavinson.

(FANS WHIRRING)

(DOOR SLAMS)

(SPEAKING INAUDIBLY)

(MUFFLED) What?

Benjamin, because of your
ridiculous flash card scheme,

it's hot again,
and I look like Art Garfunkel.

What am I going to do?
Here's what you're going to do.

You're going to throw that
ice cream party,

and they're going to forget
about what you did,

they're gonna go back to work,

the air conditioning
is going to go back on,

and it'll all be a bridge
over troubled water.

Crystal, this runs deeper
than an ice cream party.

Well, we can do a crepe party,
but the line gets so long.

It was a great day.

I didn't feel like I was
working with employees.

I was working with friends!

I told you to learn
their names, not befriend them

like you all spent
four years together

at the University of Phoenix.

But I liked being friends
with them. It felt good.

Last night, Diane made me
a banana bread,

and I'm not usually
a fan of quick breads.

Well, I'm terribly sorry
you're going to lose all your playmates,

but we have a real problem
that needs to be solved right now.

I want it all. I want them
to be friends with me,

and I want them
to go back to work.

Did you want to, uh...

Oh, there you are.
I just wanted to tell you

how much I'm looking forward
to tomorrow night.

Yeah. Can't wait.
Oh, and, um...

Let's make sure
to get in a little girl talk beforehand.

I need to get the skinny
on how to handle the societal stigmas

of being in that kind
of relationship.

And what kind is that?

Oh. Don't make me
say it out loud.

I can't do it.
I can't be okay with this.

I am not going to be part of

Crystal's token
interracial couple.

Honey...
No, I'm not going to calm down.

Just because you can tolerate
it doesn't mean that I have to.

Okay. You're new to this.

If you try to fight
every little indignity,

you're going to exhaust
yourself.

And at the end of the day,
getting upset about it

doesn't make Crystal
any less petty or ignorant.

She never wanted
to have dinner with me.

Now all of a sudden,
I'm black, and she's interested.

You are not black.
Well, I could have been.

My mom was very progressive
in her 20s.

Okay. In the interest
of clearing the air,

we're gonna do something
called an affinity circle.

I web searched
"mending relationships".

Came up with
some pretty dark stuff.

Incest, apparently
very difficult to overcome.

If you've made out
with your grandfather,

forget it. Just forget it.

Now I know
that I've hurt your feelings,

so this is your opportunity

to express your true feelings
about me.

And then we can move on
and be friends again.

Now just to make sure we don't
all talk at the same time,

and in honor of the only book
that I've ever read,

Lord of the Rings,
Lord of the Flies...

Roman...

Bring to me the conch!

This is the conch
you got?

It was the only one
I could find.

This is San Diego. They made
the library out of conchs!

All right. Just go sit down.

Did you bring
the pad of paper? Yeah, yeah...

Do you have a pen?
Okay.

So...

Who wants to go first?
Don't be shy.

Anyone? Anyone?

I say, anyone?

Um, on Mondays, you can be
a little grumpy.

What a great start.
Way to get the ball rolling.

Roman, jot that down.

"Watch grumpiness
on Mondays."

Okay, who's next?
Anyone?

Anyone?
This is ridiculous.

What's holding
you people back?

Benjamin, you're a preening,
self-centered narcissist,

and your socks
are too designy.

What's with all the stripes?
You're not Beetlejuice.

You're a human man.
Next.

The only time you've ever
looked me in the eyes

was to check your hair
in my glasses.

Okay.
(UNDER BREATH) Jot that down.

And while we're at it,
your hair is stupid.

Well, Diane,
that... That... That... That kind of hurts.

It's weird you've only
ever read one book.

And you know, you clear
your throat too much.

That's true. You really do.
"Good... (CLEARS THROAT)

"Morning... (CLEARS THROAT)

"Everyone..." (CLEARS THROAT)

(EMPLOYEES CLEAR THROATS)

The conch! The conch!
You have to be holding the conch!

What's up with that chin?
You barely even have one.

Yes! It's kind of like
your face

cascades into your neck.
There's no definition.

It's more like you have
a...chinneck.

A chinneck!
Yeah, a chinneck.

You sleep in your office
all the time. We can see you, you know?

(EMPLOYEES
TALKING INDISTINCTLY))

Okay, okay, that's it.
Stop it.

You're right. I should not
have called you all those names.

I tried to be your friend,
but obviously, that ship has sailed.

So, Fred,
fix the air conditioning.

Matt, restock the candy room.

All of you, go back
to doing the jobs that you're paid to do!

That's it!
End of meeting!

You're really bad
at affinity circles.

(EMPLOYEES SPEAK INDISTINCTLY)

Hey, you two! Wait up!

If you have a sec,
Darius is coming by to say hi.

Alonzo, you must know him
from one of those meetings

with the brothers, with those
silly handshakes you do.

And those houses you live in
should be condemned.

Disgusting places.
Liquor bottles all over the place,

couches in the yard.
I don't know how you live like that.

Crystal, you have a petty
and ignorant view of race.

Crystal Cohen,
I have had it with your racist stereotyping.

And are you really
growing an afro?

You look like Diana Ross
mid-concert in Central Park.

Well, Alonzo, my hair
is frizzy because it's hot in here.

Hi, sweetie!
Oh, there you are, honey.

(KISSES)
You seem to have caught us

at a very awkward...
Rusty!

Rusty Washington!
Oh, my God!

Alonzo? Hey, buddy!

Hey!

You know Darius?

Yeah, we went
to college together,

but I know him as Rusty.
When did you switch to Darius?

It's my middle name.

See, I'm a dentist,
and it seems that people

are a little leery
of a dentist named Rusty.

Hilarious! Yeah, we were
fraternity brothers...

Oh, God.

And we did have
a silly handshake.

And we did go to meetings.

And our frat house
should have been condemned!

Crystal, I'm so sorry.
Big mistake.

Wait. Not so fast, though.

What about
the "societal stigmas"

of being in that
kind of a relationship?

You know...
Older women, younger men.

Alonzo is 10 years
older than me.

Oof! Duh.

Okay, everyone, listen up!

Let's hear a nice round
of applause for Ben

and his great idea
for an ice cream party!

Chocolate and vanilla? Wow.
That makes up for everything.

I told you
this was not going to work. Hmm.

Giving my employees ice cream
has always cheered them up in the past.

Or was that
health care benefits?

(GASPS) Toffee bits!

Look, maybe this is the way
it has to be, you know?

Maybe I'm kidding myself
that I could be friends

with people who work for me.

Well, you know, you got
to know their names.

But you didn't really
get to know them.

Ugh. That seems so hard.

Well, you did it with me,
and I'm your friend.

Yeah. I... I guess so.

And I'm a handful.

(LAUGHING)

So I bet, you know,
you can do it again.

Yeah, okay.
Just don't watch me do it.

Uh, good night.

Good night.

So you got anything
going on this weekend?

Oh, man. Both my kids
are sick, and my wife's out of town.

It's just me.
Oh, no. No, no, no. I'm not asking you to work.

(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
Oh, good. I don't have kids or a wife.

Going to get drunk,
race go-carts.

Okay. Well, that sounds fun.

Maybe sometime
you and I can...

Oh, man.
Both my kids are sick.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hey, Ben.

Maybe sometime.

Yeah?
Yeah. See you Monday.

See you Monday, Ro...
Ber... Mmm.

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