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1
00:00:16,817 --> 00:00:18,987
SAY WHAT YOU WILL
ABOUT THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA,
2
00:00:19,053 --> 00:00:20,423
BUT WE PUT A MAN
ON THE MOON,
3
00:00:20,488 --> 00:00:23,018
AND WOMEN PLAY FOOTBALL
IN THEIR UNDERWEAR.
4
00:00:23,091 --> 00:00:24,991
WE PUT A MAN
ON THE MOON?
5
00:00:25,059 --> 00:00:26,459
THAT IS AWESOME.
6
00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:28,557
YOU KNOW, I OFTEN WONDER
WHY WE TALK AT ALL.
7
00:00:29,497 --> 00:00:31,667
BEN.
JESSIE! JESSIE, HI.
8
00:00:31,732 --> 00:00:32,732
ROMAN THIS IS JESSIE.
9
00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:34,370
JESSIE IS
THE STAR QUARTERBACK
10
00:00:34,435 --> 00:00:36,435
OF OUR ARCH RIVALS,
THE SEATTLE MIST.
11
00:00:36,504 --> 00:00:37,944
WE'VE MANAGED
TO PUT THAT RIVALRY
12
00:00:38,005 --> 00:00:40,135
BEHIND US THREE TIMES.
13
00:00:40,208 --> 00:00:42,178
WELL, TWO AND A HALF TIMES,
BUT I'VE ROUNDED UP.
14
00:00:42,243 --> 00:00:43,283
HI, ROMAN.
15
00:00:43,344 --> 00:00:44,714
(STUTTERING)
16
00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:46,748
ROMAN SAYS,
"IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU."
17
00:00:46,814 --> 00:00:48,824
HE ALSO SAYS,
(IMITATES ROMAN)
18
00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:50,522
SO, JESSIE, YOU WANNA
HANG OUT AFTER THE GAME?
19
00:00:50,584 --> 00:00:51,694
YOU KNOW,
A LITTLE RUBDOWN,
20
00:00:51,752 --> 00:00:53,122
HIT THE SHOWERS,
TAPE EACH OTHER UP?
21
00:00:53,187 --> 00:00:54,187
HAVE A DRINK?
22
00:00:54,255 --> 00:00:57,355
WHOA, SLOW DOWN.
OKAY. ONE DRINK.
23
00:00:57,425 --> 00:01:00,025
HMM.
(LAUGHS) BYE, BEN.
24
00:01:00,094 --> 00:01:01,504
SEE THAT?
SHE'S GONNA PUT HER HELMET ON
25
00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:03,502
AND THEN PLAY FOOTBALL
FOR OUR ENJOYMENT.
26
00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:05,804
IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY
OR WHAT?
27
00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:08,896
HEY, HOW DO YOU JUST TALK
TO A WOMAN LIKE THAT?
28
00:01:08,969 --> 00:01:12,469
WELL, FIRST OF ALL, IT HELPS
TO USE ACTUAL WORDS.
29
00:01:12,540 --> 00:01:15,080
YEAH, I WISH I COULD TELL
HEATHER HOW I FEEL.
30
00:01:15,143 --> 00:01:16,543
I JUST GET SO SCARED.
31
00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:18,180
WELL, THAT'S
A HEALTHY FEAR, ROMAN.
32
00:01:18,246 --> 00:01:19,506
SHE'S TRIED
TO KILL PEOPLE.
33
00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:21,450
(CHUCKLES)
SHE'S LAYERED.
34
00:01:21,515 --> 00:01:24,615
SHE IS JUST SO LAYERED.
YEAH.
35
00:01:24,685 --> 00:01:27,385
(TV PLAYING INDISTINCTLY)
SO HERE WE ARE, GUYS. THE BEST SUITE IN THE HOUSE.
36
00:01:27,455 --> 00:01:28,755
GOT YOUR FULL BAR,
37
00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:30,562
A 50-INCH FLAT SCREEN,
38
00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:32,434
WIRELESS INTERNET,
COURTESY OF SOMETHING
39
00:01:32,493 --> 00:01:35,163
YOU GUYS PROBABLY INVENTED
WHEN YOU WERE 12. (LAUGHS)
40
00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:37,529
JIMMY, CHECK OUT
THE 1080p/24.
41
00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:39,468
(LAUGHS)
TOMMY: THAT'S HILARIOUS.
42
00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:41,603
YEAH, PINCH ME.
WE'RE IN THE FUTURE.
43
00:01:41,669 --> 00:01:43,499
(CHUCKLES)
SO IF YOU GUYS WANT
44
00:01:43,571 --> 00:01:45,911
BURGERS, POPCORN, CANDY,
IT IS ALL ON THE HOUSE.
45
00:01:45,973 --> 00:01:48,513
REALLY? IT'S ALL FREE?
YEAH. MM-HMM.
46
00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:50,576
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
I JUST MADE ANOTHER MILLION DOLLARS,
47
00:01:50,644 --> 00:01:52,484
BUT FREE NUT CLUSTERS...
48
00:01:52,546 --> 00:01:54,216
(CHUCKLES)
(WHISPERS) WOW.
49
00:01:54,282 --> 00:01:57,522
UH-HUH. (LAUGHS)
UH, HEY.
50
00:01:57,585 --> 00:02:00,415
HEY. WHO ARE
THOSE JERKS?
51
00:02:00,488 --> 00:02:02,358
(LOWERED VOICE)
UH, THE WAGNER BROTHERS.
52
00:02:02,423 --> 00:02:04,123
AND THEY'RE NOT JERKS.
THEY'RE DOT-COM BILLIONAIRE JERKS.
53
00:02:04,192 --> 00:02:06,032
I'M TRYING TO GET
THEM TO DONATE A PILE OF DOUGH
54
00:02:06,093 --> 00:02:07,603
TO BUILD
A CHILDREN'S CENTER.
55
00:02:07,661 --> 00:02:10,461
OH. YOU WANT SOME HELP?
I'M PRETTY GOOD AT CLOSING DEALS.
56
00:02:10,531 --> 00:02:13,431
AND YOU DID A GREAT
JOB WITH THE JOLLY PRETZEL NEGOTIATIONS,
57
00:02:13,501 --> 00:02:14,871
BABY, BUT CHARITY
ISN'T SALES.
58
00:02:14,935 --> 00:02:16,635
I KNOW, BUT I CAN...
APPRECIATE IT,
59
00:02:16,704 --> 00:02:19,644
BUT I GOT THIS.
LET DADDY DRIVE THE BUS.
60
00:02:19,707 --> 00:02:21,337
LET WHO DRIVE THE WHAT?
WHAT?
61
00:02:21,409 --> 00:02:25,309
WHOA! WHO
ORDERED HOTTIE
62
00:02:25,379 --> 00:02:26,949
WITH EXTRA SEXY?
(CHUCKLES)
63
00:02:27,014 --> 00:02:28,124
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
64
00:02:29,383 --> 00:02:31,393
I JUST MADE
ANOTHER MILLION...
65
00:02:31,452 --> 00:02:34,152
OR MY MOM
IS TEXTING ME AGAIN.
66
00:02:35,789 --> 00:02:36,919
WELL,
67
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:38,960
GOOD LUCK WITH THAT,
DADDY.
68
00:02:41,795 --> 00:02:43,455
I'M STILL DRIVING THE BUS.
69
00:02:43,531 --> 00:02:46,171
CRYSTAL,
I GOT YOUR URGENT TEXT. WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?
70
00:02:46,234 --> 00:02:48,274
LOOK AT MY FACE, BENJAMIN.
OKAY.
71
00:02:48,336 --> 00:02:50,366
CAN YOU TELL MY EXPRESSION
IS ODDLY PENSIVE?
72
00:02:50,871 --> 00:02:52,511
SURE.
73
00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:54,543
WE'RE GONNA NEED
TO PULL AN ALL-NIGHTER. OH, I CAN'T. I CAN'T.
74
00:02:54,608 --> 00:02:56,138
I'M HAVING
MEANINGLESS SEX WITH A QUARTERBACK TONIGHT.
75
00:02:56,210 --> 00:02:58,150
I'VE GOTTA PREPARE.
I'VE GOTTA GET SOME TAPE
76
00:02:58,212 --> 00:03:00,882
AND... BASICALLY, I JUST
HAVE TO GET SOME TAPE.
77
00:03:00,948 --> 00:03:02,918
WELL, I'M VERY SORRY,
BUT I'M BEING AUDITED,
78
00:03:02,983 --> 00:03:05,093
AND I'M TOLD
THAT'S VERY SERIOUS.
79
00:03:05,152 --> 00:03:07,492
I INNOCENTLY MIXED SOME
OF MY PERSONAL EXPENSES
80
00:03:07,555 --> 00:03:09,555
WITH THE ARENA'S EXPENSES.
I COULD LOSE EVERYTHING.
81
00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:11,894
I'LL ORDER PIES.
82
00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:14,089
I DON'T WANT PIES.
YOU HAVE TO HELP, BENJAMIN.
83
00:03:14,161 --> 00:03:16,101
YOU CAN HAVE SEX
WITH THAT MAN SOME OTHER TIME.
84
00:03:16,163 --> 00:03:17,933
IT'S A WOMAN.
IT'S A WOMAN QUATERBACK.
85
00:03:17,998 --> 00:03:19,898
DON'T WE HAVE
A TON OF ACCOUNTANTS?
86
00:03:19,967 --> 00:03:21,897
WHO ARE ALL THOSE
BALD PEOPLE UPSTAIRS WHO NEVER SAY HELLO?
87
00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:23,569
OUR HAIRLESS ACCOUNTANTS
ARE EXCELLENT.
88
00:03:23,637 --> 00:03:25,707
THE PROBLEM IS,
THEY HAVE A VERY STRICT LEGAL SENSE OF THE LAW.
89
00:03:25,773 --> 00:03:27,313
WE JUST HAVE TO GO
THROUGH THESE STATEMENTS.
90
00:03:27,375 --> 00:03:29,135
WELL, I CAN'T. I CAN'T.
I CAN'T DO IT.
91
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:31,909
I THINK IT'S SO FUNNY THAT
YOU THINK THIS IS A REQUEST.
92
00:03:31,979 --> 00:03:33,779
YOU'RE LIKE
A CUTE LITTLE BUTTON.
93
00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:36,877
(HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
A BUTTON ON TOP OF A BUNCH OF OTHER LITTLE BUTTONS.
94
00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:37,950
(NORMAL VOICE) SIT DOWN!
95
00:03:39,019 --> 00:03:40,689
(CROWD CHEERING)
96
00:03:42,423 --> 00:03:44,023
COMMENTOR: TOUCHDOWN SEATTLE,
97
00:03:44,091 --> 00:03:45,631
AND JESSIE CARVER
CELEBRATES WITH
98
00:03:45,693 --> 00:03:47,933
HER SIGNATURE
AND ZONE POLE DANCE.
99
00:03:48,329 --> 00:03:49,329
HA!
100
00:03:50,331 --> 00:03:51,331
OHH.
101
00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:57,667
CHORUS: * MR. SUNSHINE, YAY!
102
00:04:00,655 --> 00:04:02,855
HERE'S A BIG-TICKET
ITEM THAT HAS ME A LITTLE CONFUSED.
103
00:04:02,924 --> 00:04:05,524
IN 1997, YOU
PURCHASED ECUADOR?
104
00:04:05,593 --> 00:04:07,093
IT'S A LONG STORY.
105
00:04:07,161 --> 00:04:10,231
I BRIEFLY DATED
A MAN NAMED MARCOS. PUT IT UNDER "TRAVEL."
106
00:04:10,298 --> 00:04:12,438
BENJAMIN,
ARE YOU COMFORTABLE HERE?
107
00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:14,530
I THINK YOU KNOW
THAT I'M NOT.
108
00:04:14,602 --> 00:04:16,972
YOU'RE RIGHT. LET'S MOVE
INTO MY SECRET BACK OFFICE.
109
00:04:17,038 --> 00:04:18,608
OH, GOD. NO.
110
00:04:18,673 --> 00:04:20,073
YOU KNOW YOU'VE ALWAYS
WANTED TO SEE IT.
111
00:04:20,141 --> 00:04:21,771
NO, I SPECIFICALLY
TOLD YOU I NEVER WANTED TO SEE IT.
112
00:04:21,843 --> 00:04:23,473
I DON'T WANT THE STAFF
TO KNOW WE'RE IN JEOPARDY.
113
00:04:23,545 --> 00:04:24,645
WE NEED TO PROTECT THEM.
114
00:04:24,712 --> 00:04:26,082
I'M STAFF. PROTECT ME.
115
00:04:26,147 --> 00:04:28,917
COME, BENJAMIN.
ENTER MY SPECIAL WORLD.
116
00:04:28,983 --> 00:04:30,183
DOES THAT OPEN THE DOOR?
117
00:04:30,718 --> 00:04:31,718
NO.
118
00:04:39,060 --> 00:04:41,260
I'M SORRY. THIS IS JUST
SO MUCH TO BE FRIGHTENED
119
00:04:41,329 --> 00:04:43,199
OF ALL AT
THE SAME TIME.
120
00:04:43,265 --> 00:04:45,965
THIS IS GOOD. WE'LL GET
MORE WORK DONE HERE.
121
00:04:46,033 --> 00:04:48,833
BENJAMIN, HAVE YOU EVER
LOVED AND LOST?
122
00:04:48,903 --> 00:04:50,803
IS THAT
THE MEN'S LOCKER ROOM?
123
00:04:50,872 --> 00:04:53,002
I COME BACK HERE
TO MEDITATE,
124
00:04:53,074 --> 00:04:54,174
GET AT PEACE WITH MYSELF.
125
00:04:56,010 --> 00:04:59,240
I THINK THERE'S
SOMETHING BOTHERING YOU BESIDES THE AUDIT.
126
00:04:59,314 --> 00:05:02,384
NO, JUST THE AUDIT.
YOU KNOW, TAX FORMS, ACQUISITION INDEBTEDNESS,
127
00:05:02,450 --> 00:05:04,050
CAPITAL EXPENDITURE.
128
00:05:04,118 --> 00:05:05,858
AM I GONNA DIE ALONE?
I DON'T KNOW.
129
00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:08,180
WHAT'S THE LONGEST
AMOUNT OF TIME I COULD LEAVE FOR?
130
00:05:08,256 --> 00:05:09,496
TEN MINUTES.
I'LL SEE YOU IN TEN MINUTES.
131
00:05:09,557 --> 00:05:10,697
GREAT. I'LL PUT ON
A POT OF RUM.
132
00:05:14,496 --> 00:05:16,196
WHAT'S UP?
133
00:05:16,264 --> 00:05:19,434
I'M WRITING TO FRANKLIN,
MY PEN PAL IN SAN QUENTIN.
134
00:05:19,501 --> 00:05:21,001
HE SHOT A YOUNG NURSE.
135
00:05:21,068 --> 00:05:23,508
MM. IS THAT ONE
OF ALONZO'S CHARITY THINGS?
136
00:05:23,571 --> 00:05:25,031
NOPE. JUST FOR FUN.
137
00:05:25,106 --> 00:05:26,776
I LOOK FOR CONVICTS
IN THE METRO SECTION
138
00:05:26,841 --> 00:05:28,771
AND WRITE TO THE ONES
WITH THE SWEETEST EYES.
139
00:05:30,745 --> 00:05:31,815
OR EYE.
140
00:05:31,879 --> 00:05:32,889
BEN: ROMAN, I NEED YOU.
141
00:05:33,948 --> 00:05:35,358
OH! SAY HI
TO FRANKLIN FOR ME.
142
00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:39,650
OKAY, I'M STUCK
WITH YOUR MOM,
143
00:05:39,721 --> 00:05:41,121
BUT I'M GONNA FIGURE
OUT A WAY TO ESCAPE.
144
00:05:41,188 --> 00:05:43,358
NOW IF JESSIE SHOWS
UP HERE BEFORE I DO,
145
00:05:43,425 --> 00:05:44,695
JUST KEEP HER HERE.
146
00:05:44,759 --> 00:05:45,969
WILL SHE EXPECT SEX
FROM ME?
147
00:05:46,027 --> 00:05:47,967
NO, AND THIS
IS VERY IMPORTANT...
148
00:05:48,029 --> 00:05:49,369
DO NOT EXPECT SEX
FROM HER.
149
00:05:49,431 --> 00:05:50,431
GOT IT. NO SEX.
150
00:05:50,498 --> 00:05:51,968
JUST ENTERTAIN
HER SOMEHOW.
151
00:05:52,033 --> 00:05:54,133
OH, MAYBE MAGIC TRICKS
OR IMPRESSIONS?
152
00:05:54,201 --> 00:05:55,671
YOU DO ANY MAGIC TRICKS?
NO.
153
00:05:55,737 --> 00:05:56,737
DO YOU KNOW
ANY IMPRESSIONS? NO.
154
00:05:56,804 --> 00:05:58,004
JUST KEEP HER HERE.
NO.
155
00:05:58,072 --> 00:05:59,072
YES.
156
00:05:59,140 --> 00:06:00,240
(PLAYING PIANO)
157
00:06:03,044 --> 00:06:04,914
IT SAYS HERE UNDER
"ENTERTAINMENT EXPENSES"
158
00:06:04,979 --> 00:06:06,349
THAT YOU BOUGHT
A CHEETAH.
159
00:06:06,414 --> 00:06:08,984
YES. IT WAS FUN AT FIRST.
160
00:06:09,050 --> 00:06:10,050
NOW I NEVER USE IT.
161
00:06:12,987 --> 00:06:14,587
I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE, BEN.
162
00:06:14,656 --> 00:06:16,226
THIS IS HELPING.
163
00:06:16,290 --> 00:06:18,390
LET'S PLAY
ALL THE OLD SONGS.
164
00:06:18,460 --> 00:06:20,190
(PLAYING PIANO)
165
00:06:20,261 --> 00:06:21,621
ALL OF THEM?
166
00:06:21,696 --> 00:06:23,766
(CROWD CHEERING)
167
00:06:23,831 --> 00:06:26,501
IS THIS GREAT,
FELLAS, OR WHAT?
168
00:06:26,568 --> 00:06:28,408
THERE'S A LOT
OF PRETTY GIRLS OUT THERE.
169
00:06:28,470 --> 00:06:31,230
YEAH, YOU KNOW
WHERE THERE AREN'T A LOT OF PRETTY GIRLS?
170
00:06:31,305 --> 00:06:32,305
IN HERE.
171
00:06:33,508 --> 00:06:34,678
I'M BORED.
172
00:06:34,742 --> 00:06:37,042
THEY TOLD US
WE'D BE HANGING OUT WITH AN NBA STAR.
173
00:06:37,111 --> 00:06:39,111
THAT'S ME.
I PLAYED IN THE NBA.
174
00:06:39,180 --> 00:06:41,610
YEAH, I THINK IT WAS
THE "STAR" PART WE WERE QUESTIONING.
175
00:06:41,683 --> 00:06:43,013
WELL, I HAD
A COUPLE GOOD YEARS.
176
00:06:43,084 --> 00:06:44,884
YOU HAVE A RALPHS CLUB CARD
ON YOUR KEY CHAIN.
177
00:06:44,952 --> 00:06:46,422
HEY, I PLAYED
WITH CHARLES BARKLEY.
178
00:06:46,488 --> 00:06:48,228
THE FAT GUY FROM
THE PHONE COMMERCIALS?
179
00:06:48,289 --> 00:06:49,999
ALL RIGHT,
LISTEN, THANKS.
180
00:06:50,057 --> 00:06:51,797
THIS HAS BEEN
A BLAST ADOLPHO...
181
00:06:51,859 --> 00:06:53,529
ALONZO.
FUN LITTLE ROOM,
182
00:06:53,595 --> 00:06:55,935
BUT WE'RE GONNA JET
UP TO L.A. AND SEE WHAT ASHTON KUTCHER'S UP TO.
183
00:06:55,997 --> 00:06:57,397
HEY,
WHERE ARE YOU GUYS GOING?
184
00:06:57,465 --> 00:07:00,065
ALONZO HAS SOME
PEOPLE THAT REALLY WANT TO MEET YOU.
185
00:07:00,134 --> 00:07:02,974
WE'RE DONE WITH
OUR SERIES "A" INVESTMENT. HAVE HIM CALL OUR C.F.O.
186
00:07:03,037 --> 00:07:07,177
ALL RIGHT, BUT JADE
AND BRANDI ARE GONNA BE REALLY DISAPPOINTED.
187
00:07:07,241 --> 00:07:08,241
SORRY, GIRLS.
188
00:07:08,976 --> 00:07:09,976
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
189
00:07:10,044 --> 00:07:11,674
MAMA'S DRIVING THE BUS.
190
00:07:11,746 --> 00:07:13,616
KUTCHER IS KIND
OF A TOOL, RIGHT?
191
00:07:16,751 --> 00:07:18,821
WANNA SEE HOW LONG
I CAN HOLD MY BREATH? OH, I'M GOOD.
192
00:07:18,886 --> 00:07:20,386
(INHALING)
193
00:07:20,455 --> 00:07:21,785
(BLOWING HEAVILY)
THAT'S IT.
194
00:07:23,324 --> 00:07:24,394
WHEN'S BEN GETTING HERE?
195
00:07:26,794 --> 00:07:29,364
THIS PIE IS NOT MAKING ME
FEEL BETTER.
196
00:07:29,431 --> 00:07:32,191
WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T
HAVE EATEN THE LAST THREE WITH A SHOEHORN.
197
00:07:32,266 --> 00:07:34,106
I THOUGHT I'D FIND
A PRIZE INSIDE.
198
00:07:34,168 --> 00:07:35,908
YOU KNOW HOW THEY HAVE
PRIZES IN PIES?
199
00:07:35,970 --> 00:07:37,270
THAT'S NOT A THING, CRYSTAL.
200
00:07:37,338 --> 00:07:38,338
WELL, IT SHOULD BE.
201
00:07:38,406 --> 00:07:39,906
NOW THERE'S A MONEYMAKER.
202
00:07:39,974 --> 00:07:42,304
SPEAKING OF MONEY,
I'VE BEEN GOING THROUGH THESE STATEMENTS
203
00:07:42,376 --> 00:07:44,616
AND I'VE NOTICED
SOME OF THE MORE QUESTIONABLE ITEMS,
204
00:07:44,679 --> 00:07:46,189
THE CHEETAH,
THE STUNT PLANE,
205
00:07:46,247 --> 00:07:47,717
ROSS PEROT'S CORD BLOOD...
206
00:07:47,782 --> 00:07:49,512
GOOD-BYE, LUPUS.
YES.
207
00:07:49,584 --> 00:07:51,884
MY POINT IS THAT
I'M NOTICING A PATTERN.
208
00:07:51,953 --> 00:07:54,923
ALL THE MORE EXPENSIVE
ITEMS WERE ALL BOUGHT ON THE SAME DATE.
209
00:07:54,989 --> 00:07:55,999
TODAY'S DATE.
210
00:07:56,057 --> 00:07:58,127
THAT'S NOT A PATTERN.
211
00:07:58,192 --> 00:07:59,292
THAT'S JUST SOMETHING
THAT HAPPENS YEAR AFTER YEAR ON THE SAME DATE.
212
00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:01,220
TODAY YOU BOUGHT
A MOTORCYCLE.
213
00:08:01,295 --> 00:08:04,035
WHAT'S GOING ON?
WHAT IS THE THING ABOUT TONIGHT?
214
00:08:04,098 --> 00:08:05,098
I DON'T HAVE
TO ANSWER THAT.
215
00:08:05,166 --> 00:08:06,736
YOU DO IF YOU WANT ME
TO STAY HERE.
216
00:08:06,801 --> 00:08:07,901
LET'S PLAY THE OLD SONGS.
217
00:08:07,969 --> 00:08:09,379
OKAY, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
218
00:08:09,437 --> 00:08:11,007
I HAVE A DATE
WITH A STAR QUARTERBACK,
219
00:08:11,072 --> 00:08:12,332
WHO, I'LL REMIND YOU,
IS A WOMAN.
220
00:08:12,406 --> 00:08:13,406
THERE'S NO AUDIT.
221
00:08:15,242 --> 00:08:18,312
I BUY THESE THINGS
TO DISTRACT MYSELF, BUT IT NEVER WORKS.
222
00:08:19,313 --> 00:08:21,313
TODAY'S
MY WEDDING ANNIVERSARY.
223
00:08:21,382 --> 00:08:23,012
WHICH ONE?
YOU'VE BEEN MARRIED SIX TIMES.
224
00:08:23,084 --> 00:08:25,954
ONLY FIVE OF THEM WERE
CONSUMMATED SEXUALLY, IF YOU NEED TO KNOW.
225
00:08:26,020 --> 00:08:27,620
I DON'T NEED TO KNOW
ALMOST ALL OF THIS.
226
00:08:27,689 --> 00:08:29,429
I'M TALKING ABOUT
MY THIRD HUSBAND,
227
00:08:30,391 --> 00:08:32,191
BILLY.
228
00:08:32,259 --> 00:08:35,429
WE WERE SO HAPPY TOGETHER,
AND THEN ONE DAY I TURNED AROUND, AND HE WAS GONE.
229
00:08:35,497 --> 00:08:38,537
IT ENDED SO SUDDENLY.
I NEVER SAW HIM AGAIN.
230
00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:40,100
NOW I GUESS I NEVER WILL.
231
00:08:41,102 --> 00:08:42,302
IS HE DEAD?
232
00:08:42,369 --> 00:08:43,479
IN A WAY.
233
00:08:43,538 --> 00:08:45,648
HE LIVES IN OCEANSIDE.
234
00:08:45,707 --> 00:08:48,007
I HEAR HE HANGS OUT
IN A BAR NOT TOO FAR FROM HERE.
235
00:08:48,943 --> 00:08:49,943
OUR BAR.
236
00:08:50,011 --> 00:08:52,611
GREAT FRIES.
THEY'RE FRENCH.
237
00:08:52,680 --> 00:08:54,880
I'VE TRIED TO STOP
BY THERE MANY TIMES OVER THE YEARS,
238
00:08:54,949 --> 00:08:56,989
BUT I NEVER
GOT UP THE NERVE.
239
00:08:57,051 --> 00:08:59,081
PLEASE STAY WITH ME,
BENJAMIN.
240
00:08:59,153 --> 00:09:00,653
I... I DON'T WANT
TO BE ALONE.
241
00:09:00,722 --> 00:09:02,952
I DON'T HAVE ANYBODY ELSE.
242
00:09:03,024 --> 00:09:04,024
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
243
00:09:05,392 --> 00:09:07,862
OHH. THE QUARTERBACK
SENT ME A PICTURE.
244
00:09:07,929 --> 00:09:09,599
SHE'S SO...
SMART.
245
00:09:11,499 --> 00:09:12,509
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
246
00:09:15,503 --> 00:09:18,543
JESSIE, I AM SO SORRY.
MY BOSS THREW SOME LAST-MINUTE STUFF AT ME.
247
00:09:18,606 --> 00:09:20,146
JUST GIVE ME ONE MORE HOUR,
AND I PROMISE,
248
00:09:20,207 --> 00:09:22,277
I WILL MAKE THIS A NIGHT
YOU WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER.
249
00:09:22,343 --> 00:09:24,613
IF THE SEX DOESN'T DO IT,
WE CAN STEAL A CAR
250
00:09:24,679 --> 00:09:27,649
OR BLOW SOMETHING UP,
BUT WE WILL REMEMBER THIS NIGHT.
251
00:09:27,715 --> 00:09:29,715
YOU'VE GOT ONE HOUR,
BEN DONOVAN, AND THEN I'M OUTTA HERE.
252
00:09:30,518 --> 00:09:31,518
OH, AND, BEN...
253
00:09:32,887 --> 00:09:33,887
(WHISPERING)
254
00:09:35,690 --> 00:09:37,650
WOW. IN MINE
OR IN YOURS?
255
00:09:37,725 --> 00:09:39,665
YOU KNOW WHAT?
DON'T ANSWER THAT. LET'S KEEP THIS ROMANTIC.
256
00:09:40,327 --> 00:09:41,327
(LAUGHS)
257
00:09:46,333 --> 00:09:47,803
YOU HAVE
TO KEEP HER HERE.
258
00:09:47,869 --> 00:09:50,409
YEAH. HEY, I REALIZED
I DO A PRETTY GOOD ROBERT DE NIRO.
259
00:09:54,041 --> 00:09:55,341
I'LL JUST KEEP HER HERE.
YEAH.
260
00:09:57,078 --> 00:09:58,448
(SIGHS)
261
00:09:58,512 --> 00:10:00,912
OKAY, WE'RE GOING
TO THE BAR WHERE BILLY HANGS OUT.
262
00:10:00,982 --> 00:10:02,482
NO, BENJAMIN!
I CAN'T DO THAT.
263
00:10:02,550 --> 00:10:05,350
YES, YOU CAN. YOU HAVE TO
CONFRONT HIM AND GET ANSWERS
264
00:10:05,419 --> 00:10:07,859
TO ALL THE UNANSWERED
QUESTIONS THAT YOU TWO HAVE TOGETHER.
265
00:10:07,922 --> 00:10:10,552
THAT WAY, YOU'LL NEVER
HAVE TO SPEND ANOTHER NIGHT LIKE THIS AGAIN.
266
00:10:10,625 --> 00:10:12,495
AND CONSEQUENTLY,
NEITHER WILL I.
267
00:10:12,560 --> 00:10:15,490
AND WE HAVE
TO GET ALL OF THAT DONE IN 54 MINUTES.
268
00:10:15,563 --> 00:10:18,393
BENJAMIN, YOU'RE RIGHT.
I NEED CLOSURE.
269
00:10:18,465 --> 00:10:21,305
I HAVE TO HAVE CLOSURE.
LET'S GO.
270
00:10:21,368 --> 00:10:23,038
WE'LL TAKE MY CAR.
I'LL DRIVE.
271
00:10:23,104 --> 00:10:25,674
OH, I DON'T THINK
THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. YOU SEEM EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE.
272
00:10:25,740 --> 00:10:27,540
YOU'RE RIGHT.
LET'S TAKE MY HOG.
273
00:10:27,609 --> 00:10:29,579
YOU JUST SLAPPED ME.
YOU JUST SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.
274
00:10:33,014 --> 00:10:35,084
HOW ARE YOU FEELING?
275
00:10:35,149 --> 00:10:36,889
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE.
276
00:10:44,458 --> 00:10:47,198
ALL RIGHT. BLUE 42,
HUT. HUT. HIKE!
277
00:10:52,066 --> 00:10:53,906
LINGERIE FOOTBALL IS NOT
THE SAME.
278
00:10:53,968 --> 00:10:56,978
SINCE THE LEAGUE EXPANDED,
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO TO ROOT FOR ANYMORE.
279
00:10:57,038 --> 00:10:58,878
YEAH, I GUESS
WE'VE ALL GOT PROBLEMS.
280
00:10:58,940 --> 00:11:01,340
I DON'T THINK I COULD NAME
HALF THE LINEUP FOR THE MIAMI CALIENTE.
281
00:11:01,408 --> 00:11:03,148
I DON'T WANT
TO BE TALKING TO YOU ANYMORE.
282
00:11:03,711 --> 00:11:04,971
YEAH, OKAY.
283
00:11:05,046 --> 00:11:07,246
Y-YOU KNOW, GUYS, UH,
IF WE DON'T GET THAT FUNDING,
284
00:11:07,314 --> 00:11:08,584
THEN WE WON'T BE ABLE
TO BUILD THE CENTER.
285
00:11:08,650 --> 00:11:10,750
OKAY, FIRST DOWN!
HUDDLE UP! HUDDLE UP!
286
00:11:10,818 --> 00:11:12,118
AND IF THEY DON'T HAVE
THE CENTER,
287
00:11:12,186 --> 00:11:15,356
THE CHILDREN WILL HAVE
NOWHERE TO GO AFTER SCHOOL.
288
00:11:15,422 --> 00:11:16,952
THEIR MOTHERS WILL LOSE
THEIR JOBS.
289
00:11:17,024 --> 00:11:19,424
OME OF THOSE KIDS WILL JOIN
GANGS AND CARJACK YOU.
290
00:11:19,493 --> 00:11:21,023
(BLOWS WHISTLE)
TIME-OUT!
291
00:11:21,095 --> 00:11:24,095
WILL YOU PLEASE
TAKE IT EASY?
292
00:11:24,165 --> 00:11:25,865
YOU MADE POOR JADE CRY.
293
00:11:25,933 --> 00:11:27,403
OH, I'M THE JERK?
294
00:11:27,468 --> 00:11:30,578
THOSE GUYS ALREADY MADE
AN iPhone APP ABOUT ME CALLED "ALONZO SUCKS."
295
00:11:30,638 --> 00:11:31,778
IT'S ACTUALLY KINDA FUN.
296
00:11:32,473 --> 00:11:33,903
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
297
00:11:33,975 --> 00:11:35,475
I COULD'VE GOTTEN DRUNK
AND DONE BODY SHOTS WITH 'EM.
298
00:11:35,542 --> 00:11:36,942
WILL YOU CHILL OUT?
HAVE A DRINK.
299
00:11:39,580 --> 00:11:42,440
* WELCOME TO WHEREVER
YOU ARE *
300
00:11:43,084 --> 00:11:44,084
THAT'S APPLE JUICE.
301
00:11:47,454 --> 00:11:49,394
IT'S ONLY APPLE JUICE.
OH, NOW YOU WANT TO TALK?
302
00:11:52,727 --> 00:11:53,767
THERE HE IS.
303
00:11:55,129 --> 00:11:56,869
THE... THE GUY
WITH THE GUITAR?
304
00:11:56,931 --> 00:11:58,491
OH, WE HAD
A GREAT BAND TOGETHER.
305
00:11:59,701 --> 00:12:01,301
WAIT.
YOU WERE IN A BAND?
306
00:12:01,368 --> 00:12:03,578
WE WERE LIKE
IKE AND TINA TURNER, BUT WITHOUT THE EDGE
307
00:12:03,637 --> 00:12:04,777
AND WITH NONE
OF THE HITTING.
308
00:12:04,839 --> 00:12:05,879
I SEE.
309
00:12:05,940 --> 00:12:08,470
OH.
BILLY, CRYSTAL AND FRIENDS.
310
00:12:08,542 --> 00:12:11,012
THAT WELL-PLACED COMMA
SAVED US A LOT OF LAWSUITS. (APPLAUDING)
311
00:12:11,078 --> 00:12:13,018
OH, LOOK,
HE'S TAKING A BREAK. YOU CAN DO THIS.
312
00:12:17,819 --> 00:12:20,129
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I HAVE A LIFE, TOO.
313
00:12:20,187 --> 00:12:22,487
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
TALKING TO BILLY. WELL, I COULDN'T DO IT.
314
00:12:22,556 --> 00:12:24,926
WELL, YOU HAVE TO DO IT.
YOU HAVE TO DO IT RIGHT NOW.
315
00:12:24,992 --> 00:12:27,422
YOU HAVE TO CONFRONT HIM
FOR LEAVING YOU.
316
00:12:27,494 --> 00:12:29,964
LEAVING ME? BILLY DIDN'T
LEAVE ME. I LEFT HIM.
317
00:12:30,031 --> 00:12:32,131
YOU SAID,
YOU TURNED AROUND, AND HE WAS GONE.
318
00:12:32,199 --> 00:12:34,039
NO, I LEFT THE BAR
WITH ANOTHER MAN ONE NIGHT,
319
00:12:34,101 --> 00:12:36,001
AND BILLY CHASED AFTER
OUR CAR FOR A FEW BLOCKS,
320
00:12:36,070 --> 00:12:38,970
BUT EVENTUALLY,
I TURNED AROUND, AND HE WAS GONE.
321
00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:40,840
I'VE MENTIONED TO YOU THAT
I COULD BE SLEEPING WITH
322
00:12:40,908 --> 00:12:42,648
A LINGERIE FOOTBALL
PLAYER RIGHT NOW, RIGHT?
323
00:12:42,710 --> 00:12:44,310
IT WAS THE CLASSIC STORY.
324
00:12:44,378 --> 00:12:46,948
OUR CAREER WAS
JUST TAKING OFF, WHEN ONE NIGHT,
325
00:12:47,014 --> 00:12:50,784
MAURICE COHEN, OWNER OF
THE SUNSHINE CENTER, WALKED IN.
326
00:12:50,852 --> 00:12:54,622
SURE, HE WAS FAT AND OLD,
AND, OKAY, HE COULDN'T REALLY WALK, PER SE,
327
00:12:54,688 --> 00:12:55,898
BUT HE TIPPED ME,
1000 BUCKS,
328
00:12:55,957 --> 00:12:57,357
AND I JUMPED IN THE BACK
OF HIS TOWN CAR,
329
00:12:57,424 --> 00:12:59,494
TOOK A HIT OFF
HIS OXYGEN TANK, AND NEVER LOOKED BACK.
330
00:13:00,327 --> 00:13:01,497
CUTE MEET.
331
00:13:01,562 --> 00:13:04,032
MY INSATIABLE NEED
FOR WEALTH AND SUCCESS
332
00:13:04,098 --> 00:13:08,268
MADE ME WALK AWAY
FROM THE ONE TRUE LOVE OF MY LIFE.
333
00:13:09,403 --> 00:13:12,233
THAT'S WHY THIS NIGHT
IS SO HARD FOR ME.
334
00:13:12,306 --> 00:13:14,946
THAT'S WHY I HAVE
THIS WEIRD FEELING.
335
00:13:15,009 --> 00:13:16,449
WHAT WEIRD FEELING?
336
00:13:16,510 --> 00:13:19,210
I DON'T KNOW
IF THERE'S A NAME FOR IT.
337
00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:21,140
YOU KNOW THAT CRAZY FEELING
SOME PEOPLE GET
338
00:13:21,215 --> 00:13:23,585
WHEN THEY DON'T APPROVE
OF THEIR OWN BEHAVIOR?
339
00:13:23,650 --> 00:13:25,410
SHAME?
YES. THAT'S IT.
340
00:13:25,486 --> 00:13:27,126
"SHAME," AS YOU CALL IT.
341
00:13:27,188 --> 00:13:29,328
WELL, I HAVE TO SAY,
I'VE NEVER SEEN CRYSTAL COHEN ASHAMED BEFORE,
342
00:13:29,390 --> 00:13:30,850
AND I ONCE SAW YOU
SHOOT A DOLPHIN.
343
00:13:30,925 --> 00:13:32,355
I WAS DEFENDING MY YACHT.
344
00:13:32,426 --> 00:13:33,926
WHAT, I'M SUPPOSED
TO GIVE THE ANIMAL A PASS
345
00:13:33,995 --> 00:13:36,865
BECAUSE HE'S BELOVED
BY LITTLE CHILDREN AND FAT SECRETARIES?
346
00:13:39,934 --> 00:13:41,734
LOOK AT HIM,
347
00:13:41,803 --> 00:13:44,533
STILL SINGING
IN THE SAME OLD DIVE AFTER ALL THESE YEARS.
348
00:13:45,006 --> 00:13:46,106
IT'S SO SAD.
349
00:13:46,841 --> 00:13:47,871
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
350
00:13:49,944 --> 00:13:51,544
OH, MY GOD, JESSIE.
351
00:13:51,612 --> 00:13:54,412
OH, JUST GO BACK
TO YOUR STRUMPET. I'LL BE ALL RIGHT.
352
00:13:57,819 --> 00:13:59,229
DAMN IT, CRYSTAL!
I'M STAYING WITH YOU!
353
00:13:59,286 --> 00:14:00,326
WELL, YOU DON'T
HAVE TO YELL AT ME.
354
00:14:00,387 --> 00:14:01,987
YES, I DO!
BEN, GO!
355
00:14:02,056 --> 00:14:03,356
THIS ISN'T YOUR JOB!
356
00:14:03,424 --> 00:14:04,724
I'M NOT STAYING
AS YOUR EMPLOYEE!
357
00:14:04,792 --> 00:14:06,192
I'M STAYING
AS YOUR FRIEND!
358
00:14:07,761 --> 00:14:08,991
THANK YOU, BENJAMIN.
359
00:14:09,063 --> 00:14:11,233
WELL, YOU'RE VERY WELCOME!
IT'S REALLY MY PLEASURE!
360
00:14:13,567 --> 00:14:15,707
OKAY. I'M RUNNING
OUT OF TIME.
361
00:14:15,769 --> 00:14:17,539
PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME
TAKE ANOTHER PICTURE.
362
00:14:17,604 --> 00:14:19,944
THERE'S REALLY
NO OTHER PLACE TO GO.
363
00:14:20,007 --> 00:14:23,147
TALENT'S NOT ALLOWED
IN THE EXECUTIVE OFFICES.
364
00:14:23,210 --> 00:14:24,840
I WAS INVITED, SWEETIE.
365
00:14:24,912 --> 00:14:27,982
OH. WELL, IN THAT CASE,
I'LL LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE.
366
00:14:29,550 --> 00:14:32,110
I HEARD FROM FRANKLIN.
HE SENT ME A REALLY SWEET LETTER
367
00:14:32,186 --> 00:14:33,656
AND THE TIP
OF HIS CELL MATE'S FINGER.
368
00:14:35,356 --> 00:14:36,596
NO REASON. JUST 'CAUSE.
369
00:14:44,698 --> 00:14:47,168
SOMEONE'S GOT
A CRUSH ON SOMEONE.
370
00:14:47,234 --> 00:14:50,734
I KNOW, AND HOW AM
I SUPPOSED TO COMPETE WITH THAT?
371
00:14:50,804 --> 00:14:53,044
I CAN'T CUT OFF
A MAN'S FINGER.
372
00:14:53,107 --> 00:14:54,607
FRANKLIN IS TOO ROMANTIC.
373
00:14:54,675 --> 00:14:57,215
NOT FRANKLIN.
SHE'S TOTALLY INTO YOU.
374
00:14:57,278 --> 00:14:59,148
OH, NO.
375
00:14:59,213 --> 00:15:01,443
DID YOU SEE HER?
SHE LOOKED LIKE SHE WANTED TO KILL ME.
376
00:15:01,515 --> 00:15:02,785
YEAH, SHE LOOKS
AT EVERYONE THAT WAY.
377
00:15:02,850 --> 00:15:05,080
BELIEVE ME,
SHE DIGS YOU.
378
00:15:05,152 --> 00:15:06,982
YOU COULD TOTALLY HAVE HER.
379
00:15:07,054 --> 00:15:08,484
REALLY?
YEAH.
380
00:15:08,555 --> 00:15:10,395
I'D LOVE TO GET HER.
381
00:15:10,457 --> 00:15:12,257
I JUST...
I DON'T KNOW HOW.
382
00:15:12,326 --> 00:15:15,696
EASY. FLASH A WAD OF CASH,
FILL HER UP WITH SOME MALIBU RUM,
383
00:15:15,762 --> 00:15:18,732
TELL HER YOU'RE ALREADY
DATING SOMEBODY, AND THEN BOOM!
384
00:15:18,799 --> 00:15:21,139
OH. I DIDN'T MEAN
"GET HER" LIKE THAT.
385
00:15:21,202 --> 00:15:24,672
JEEZ.
I MEANT, UH, GET HER TO HAVE LUNCH WITH ME,
386
00:15:24,738 --> 00:15:28,078
GET HER TO RELY ON ME
TO BE THERE FOR HER.
387
00:15:28,142 --> 00:15:30,412
UH, TO GET HER TO DO
ANYMORE WITHOUT THAT,
388
00:15:30,477 --> 00:15:31,517
IT JUST SEEMS KINDA EMPTY.
389
00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:34,540
I MEAN, DON'T YA THINK?
390
00:15:34,615 --> 00:15:36,385
YOU SHOULD TELL HER THAT.
391
00:15:36,450 --> 00:15:37,950
OHH. I DON'T HAVE
THE NERVE.
392
00:15:38,652 --> 00:15:39,652
TURN AROUND.
393
00:15:43,090 --> 00:15:44,450
(SIGHS) OH, ROMAN.
394
00:15:45,392 --> 00:15:46,392
HEATHER.
395
00:15:47,628 --> 00:15:50,968
OHH.
I HAVE MADE SO MANY BAD CHOICES IN MY LIFE.
396
00:15:54,735 --> 00:15:57,275
OKAY, OKAY.
WHO'S GOT THE NEXT ROUND?
397
00:15:57,338 --> 00:15:58,478
I GOT IT.
398
00:15:58,539 --> 00:15:59,879
WHOA.
399
00:15:59,941 --> 00:16:01,301
YOUNGER BROTHER'S
BUYING, HUH?
400
00:16:01,375 --> 00:16:03,745
THAT'S NOT HOW IT USUALLY
WORKS IN MY FAMILY.
401
00:16:03,810 --> 00:16:06,280
HEY, ALONZO, YOU SHOULD WORK
ON JIMMY FOR THE NEW CENTER.
402
00:16:06,347 --> 00:16:08,647
HE'S THE ONE WITH
THE... MONEY!
403
00:16:08,715 --> 00:16:10,285
UH, I HAVE MORE MONEY
THAN HE DOES.
404
00:16:10,351 --> 00:16:12,751
OH, YEAH?
WELL, HOW MUCH ARE YOU DONATING TO THE CENTER?
405
00:16:14,021 --> 00:16:15,991
100,000.
WOW.
406
00:16:16,057 --> 00:16:19,297
JIMMY, YOU GONNA PUT UP
WITH YOUR OLDER BROTHER SHOWBOATING LIKE THAT?
407
00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:21,260
PFFT. TYPICAL
OLDER BROTHER CRAP, RIGHT?
408
00:16:21,328 --> 00:16:24,068
HE'S THE BIG MAN,
THE ONE IN CHARGE. 200,000!
409
00:16:24,565 --> 00:16:25,765
500,000!
410
00:16:25,832 --> 00:16:26,832
750,000.
411
00:16:26,900 --> 00:16:27,930
800,000!
412
00:16:28,002 --> 00:16:29,102
900,000.
413
00:16:29,170 --> 00:16:31,270
HAVE I EVER TOLD YOU
I LOVE YOU? A MILLION.
414
00:16:31,338 --> 00:16:32,778
YEAH,
BUT IT'S NICE TO HEAR.
415
00:16:32,839 --> 00:16:34,549
1.3 MILLION!
1.5 MILLION!
416
00:16:34,608 --> 00:16:36,278
ALL RIGHT! BOYS, BOYS, BOYS.
THAT'S ENOUGH.
417
00:16:36,343 --> 00:16:38,313
LET'S PUT A STOP
TO THIS RIGHT NOW.
418
00:16:38,379 --> 00:16:39,619
JIMMY WINS.
419
00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:41,680
WHAT? NO. 2 MILLION DOLLARS!
420
00:16:41,748 --> 00:16:42,748
HIKE ME THE NUTS!
421
00:16:47,821 --> 00:16:50,191
I RUINED HIS LIFE.
WHAT CAN I SAY TO HIM?
422
00:16:50,257 --> 00:16:52,797
WELL, JUST TELL HIM YOU'RE
SORRY. TELL HIM HOW MUCH HE MEANT TO YOU.
423
00:16:52,859 --> 00:16:54,529
OH, IT'S TOO COMPLICATED.
424
00:16:56,497 --> 00:16:58,097
MAYBE I CAN HELP.
425
00:16:58,165 --> 00:17:00,105
NO. OH! NO, NO, NO,
NO, NO. BENJAMIN!
426
00:17:02,469 --> 00:17:04,209
HI. HI. DO YOU...
427
00:17:04,271 --> 00:17:05,901
DO YOU TAKE REQUESTS?
428
00:17:05,973 --> 00:17:09,143
NO, BUT I HAVE ONE.
UH, COULD YOU TAKE YOUR MONEY OUT OF MY DRINK?
429
00:17:20,621 --> 00:17:22,451
NO, NO, NO, NO!
OKAY. COME ON.
430
00:17:22,523 --> 00:17:24,753
HERE WE GO. YOU CAN DO THIS.
NO! BENJAMIN! I CAN'T!
431
00:17:24,825 --> 00:17:26,225
YES, YOU CAN.
NO, I CAN'T!
432
00:17:26,293 --> 00:17:27,563
COME ON.
GET ON STAGE. GO, GO.
433
00:17:27,628 --> 00:17:30,698
I... I... I... I...
434
00:17:30,764 --> 00:17:35,704
* I'VE BEEN SO MANY PLACES
435
00:17:35,769 --> 00:17:39,279
* IN MY LIFE AND TIME
436
00:17:43,777 --> 00:17:45,777
* SUNG A LOT OF SONGS
437
00:17:45,846 --> 00:17:48,616
* I'VE MADE SOME BAD RHYMES
438
00:17:50,584 --> 00:17:54,584
* I'VE ACTED OUT MY LIFE
ON STAGES
439
00:17:54,655 --> 00:17:59,465
* WITH 10,000, PEOPLE
WATCHING
440
00:17:59,526 --> 00:18:01,966
* BUT WE'RE ALONE NOW
441
00:18:02,029 --> 00:18:06,069
* AND I'M JUST SINGING
THIS SONG FOR YOU
442
00:18:08,001 --> 00:18:10,501
* I KNOW YOUR IMAGE OF ME
443
00:18:10,571 --> 00:18:13,741
* IS ALL I HOPE TO BE
444
00:18:16,009 --> 00:18:23,259
* I TREATED YOU UNKINDLY
BUT, BILLY, CAN'T YOU SEE
445
00:18:23,317 --> 00:18:27,357
* THERE'S NO ONE
MORE IMPORTANT TO ME?
446
00:18:27,421 --> 00:18:30,391
* DARLIN', CAN'T YOU
PLEASE SEE THROUGH ME?
447
00:18:30,457 --> 00:18:32,457
* WE WERE ALONE AND...
448
00:18:32,526 --> 00:18:33,766
* WE WERE ALONE
449
00:18:33,827 --> 00:18:38,337
* AND I WAS SINGING
THIS SONG FOR YOU
450
00:18:38,399 --> 00:18:40,509
THAT'S MY BOSS.
SHH.
451
00:18:40,567 --> 00:18:42,367
* I LOVE YOU IN A PLACE
452
00:18:42,436 --> 00:18:46,476
* WHERE THERE'S NO SPACE
OR TIME
453
00:18:47,541 --> 00:18:51,671
* I LOVE YOU FOR MY LIFE
454
00:18:51,745 --> 00:18:54,515
* YOU ARE A FRIEND OF MINE
455
00:18:56,083 --> 00:18:59,523
* AND WHEN MY LIFE IS OVER
456
00:18:59,586 --> 00:19:02,926
* REMEMBER
WHEN WE WERE TOGETHER
457
00:19:02,989 --> 00:19:06,269
* WE WERE ALONE
WE WERE ALONE
458
00:19:06,327 --> 00:19:10,897
* AND I WAS SINGING
THIS SONG FOR YOU
459
00:19:10,964 --> 00:19:13,034
* WE WERE ALL ALONE
460
00:19:13,100 --> 00:19:16,100
* WE WERE ALONE
AND I WAS SINGING
461
00:19:16,170 --> 00:19:22,500
* THIS SONG FOR YOU
462
00:19:23,244 --> 00:19:26,244
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
463
00:19:32,219 --> 00:19:33,959
CAN YOU EVER FORGIVE ME?
464
00:19:34,020 --> 00:19:35,180
I'VE BEEN FINE
SINCE YOU LEFT.
465
00:19:35,922 --> 00:19:37,552
OH, YOU'RE SO BRAVE.
466
00:19:37,624 --> 00:19:40,824
NO, SERIOUSLY.
I GOT SOME OF MY BEST SONGS OUT OF THAT HEARTBREAK.
467
00:19:40,894 --> 00:19:43,994
SO YOU'RE DOING WELL?
SPECTACULAR.
468
00:19:44,064 --> 00:19:45,634
I OWN THIS PLACE NOW.
WOW.
469
00:19:46,533 --> 00:19:48,463
THAT'S GREAT.
470
00:19:48,535 --> 00:19:51,805
YEP. IT'S GREAT.
LOSING YOU WAS THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME.
471
00:19:51,872 --> 00:19:54,102
I'M JUST SAYING,
I'M HAPPY NOW, CRYSTAL.
472
00:19:54,175 --> 00:19:55,705
UH-HUH.
I'M REALLY, REALLY HAPPY.
473
00:19:55,776 --> 00:19:57,316
YEAH, I UNDERSTAND.
474
00:19:57,378 --> 00:19:59,588
I HAVEN'T HAD
A LONELY NIGHT OR A BAD DAY SINCE.
475
00:19:59,646 --> 00:20:02,186
I GET IT.
HEY, I WANT YOU TO MEET MY WIFE TAMMY.
476
00:20:04,818 --> 00:20:07,088
I'D LIKE TO PUNCH YOU I
N YOUR FAT FACE RIGHT ABOUT NOW.
477
00:20:07,154 --> 00:20:09,324
OKAY, WELL, I THINK
WE HAVE SOME CLOSURE.
478
00:20:09,390 --> 00:20:11,550
WOULD YOU LIKE THAT?
YOU LIKE THAT? WHY DON'T YOU GET OFFSTAGE?
479
00:20:11,625 --> 00:20:12,625
GET OFFSTAGE.
480
00:20:14,728 --> 00:20:17,198
DO YOU KNOW
ANY CAT STEVENS? OH, MAN.
481
00:20:20,767 --> 00:20:22,067
HOW ARE YOU FEELING?
482
00:20:22,703 --> 00:20:24,703
ODDLY AT PEACE.
483
00:20:24,771 --> 00:20:26,501
I FEEL LIKE I COULD DIE
RIGHT NOW.
484
00:20:30,977 --> 00:20:32,247
I MADE IT.
I'M LEAVING.
485
00:20:32,313 --> 00:20:33,713
WHAT? NO! WHY?
486
00:20:33,780 --> 00:20:35,740
ROMAN TAUGHT ME
SOMETHING TONIGHT, BEN.
487
00:20:35,816 --> 00:20:37,686
WELL, THAT DOESN'T SEEM
REMOTELY POSSIBLE.
488
00:20:37,751 --> 00:20:40,181
SEX MEANS NOTHING
WITHOUT LOVE.
489
00:20:40,254 --> 00:20:41,684
LOVE?
HOW DID THAT COME UP?
490
00:20:41,755 --> 00:20:44,425
HE WAS JUST SUPPOSED
TO BABYSIT YOU, SIT WITH YOU.
491
00:20:44,491 --> 00:20:47,491
I'M SORRY. I'M JUST...
I'M NOT THE WOMAN THAT I THOUGHT I WAS.
492
00:20:47,561 --> 00:20:49,261
OF COURSE YOU ARE.
493
00:20:49,330 --> 00:20:51,530
YOU'RE THIS WOMAN
RIGHT HERE,
494
00:20:51,598 --> 00:20:53,138
AND HERE, AND...
495
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:54,330
OH, GOD!
DON'T LOOK AT THAT.
496
00:20:55,469 --> 00:20:56,479
GOOD NIGHT, BEN.
497
00:21:01,208 --> 00:21:02,348
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
498
00:21:06,747 --> 00:21:07,787
WHAT DID YOU DO?
499
00:21:07,848 --> 00:21:08,918
WHAT?
JESSIE...
500
00:21:08,982 --> 00:21:10,652
YOU GAVE HER SELF-ESTEEM!
501
00:21:10,717 --> 00:21:12,417
I'M SORRY.
I DIDN'T MEAN TO.
502
00:21:19,726 --> 00:21:21,396
(LAUGHS)
SQUIDWARD.
503
00:21:23,364 --> 00:21:25,994
BEN, YOU'RE KILLING
ME RIGHT NOW.
504
00:21:26,044 --> 00:21:30,594
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