Original subtitles

...

* Rhythmic pop music

'k

Festive screams

A stopper jumps. A woman laughs.

- Do you give me the cups?

Cuts are tingling.

What are we celebrating tonight? - Thomas EVC.

His Burial of Life Coloc. He goes to work in New York.

- Oh yeah ? And Antoine, he stays?

- Rather yes. The new roommate runs a modeling agency.

The other woman laughs.

- Oh, that's promising.

- Do you have champagne? - Yeah.

- Let's go.

* Elephanz: "Time For A Change"

- Champagne?

K

- Small drop?

- Thank you !

K

- Hey, hello!

K

M pane in angflais.

K

- Champagne g

...

- Hey ! The king is dead,

long live the king !

K

- Hep, hep, hep! Slowly.

I have one night left. I want to enjoy it.

- Oh?

- You could have thanked me about the new king.

Model agency boss. -It was necessary to replace you.

When does Tom Ford come?

-He did not send you a message from Miami or Ibiza?

- No, I did not get it. - Antoine, I'll introduce you to Vero.

- Hello. - Hey, Vero!

It's okay ? Yeah? - Antoine?

We have to go. - Y school tomorrow, finally ...

- For the babysitter, it's really late.

- Yeah. We do it like that.

- It was a great night!

- Still dancing, guys. I love it.

Hi girls. - HI.

- Ah! Stan's girlfriends?

- "She is" good, buddy.

- Sandy, from Singapore. Cindy, from Rio.

No. Nancy from Singapore and Cindy from Oslo?

- Rio? I dunno.

Oh, me, it's Antoine.

[Ifs my aparltment.

I make you visit.

Terrace with Eiffel tower view.

- Gift. Gift.

- What a bastard. - When does your replacement arrive?

- I'm still here. I have one night left.

Scavenger, There is a period of mourning to respect.

- It's you who bars you to go party in New York.

You will not make me cry.

- You'll love it. She did not know that there was a terrace.

I will show him.

- A model agency boss, with Antoine, in roommate,

it's going to be a butchery. - A butcher shop.

- I love this song ! - Easy, you.

* Rhythmic pop music

'k

- Come on, let's go home.

I want to go there. - Stop, did you see the time?

- But precisely. -It is 1h.

I can not plant them.

- No, he can not. - Here !

- No, it's Thomas EVC, there, oh! Go!

- EVC? What's this, this new bullshit?

-He did not tell you? EVC? Burial of Coloc!

- Oh yes, you, did you finish your "AirBnBitch" visits?

- Tonight, she sleeps in my room.

I'm going to break it down.

- In all friendship. - Cabbage...

- OOOOH! - Do not bullshit.

- Give me a kiss.

- Hey, cabbage! - Kisses, cabbage!

- Do not worry ! - Hi beauty.

- Guys !

What are the guys?

Who's the sho-shots for? - For us!

- No, guys. - Yes, are you sick?

- I'm going to scream on the plane tomorrow. - To Thomas.

For his last evening in his apartment.

- And to his replacement

thanks to whom this roommate is going to be a crazy thing ...

from my mouth?

Are you kidding me ? He's coming over?

But I have nothing ...

I do not care to move to L.A.

Can not you decide for him? Find a replacement.

I'm losing the modeling agency, I will not lose the apartment.

But I have to pay rent in two days !

We knock. Yes Yes Yes.

Oh yeah, do you have a plan B? It is in his interest to be available again.

Hey, you know what?

Thomas? Thomas?

If your plan is fair, it's September 11 in your mouth.

You hear ?

Hello? Hello?

Hello?

They sneer.

Yes Yes Yes. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

Pen clicks

Tension music

...

* SMS Beep

...

Jeanne?

Groovy music

...

The server passes a Command.

- It's not a little weird?

A roommate girl who stays at home?

Usually they stay one night.

- It can be great, a roommate chick.

- So "a" roommate. - Yeah, that's it !

Why did not we think about it sooner? - I had to have

a modeling agency, I have more than one.

-Imagine, she's ugly?

- Yeah!

The lousy roommate. - No, no, it's not possible.

It's not possible.

We do not work like crazy

to return in the evening and find a lousy roommate.

- No, that's for sure. It's certain.

She can be good.

- But yes ! But here, but of course.

- Carrément.

- And if she's not good, she will have good girlfriends.

- Oh yes, yes, yes. Note, yes, I had not thought about that.

Groovy music

...

If she is good, she is good.

Otherwise, she will have good girlfriends.

She is good. She's good, huh?

She is good.

Jeanne?

- Antoine?

- So. The living room, spacious, design,

directly south. You're lucky, it's sunny.

His fireplace that works. His sofas.

His TV ... Finally, his TV ... his plasma.

Nice, huh? - Yeah.

- I show you your room.

There you go.

Nearby...

from mine. If you need, do not hesitate ...

You toques.

And the highlight of the visit ...

The terrace...

and its Eiffel Tower view.

In addition, at night, she flashes.

Usually, it's clean, but I'm working on a big pub.

Thomas explained to you? I am in communication.

I am a manager. As soon as we are on a contract ...

Barn, they call me.

- Of course. - So ? Do you like it?

Finally, I ... The apartment?

- I wanted change, it should be fine.

That's exactly what I need. Thank you.

- I would say even more, it must be celebrate.

Glasses are tingling.

Champagne. - Ah.

- Tell me about you. What do you do in life ?

- Interior designer.

- Nice! In addition, it can serve.

And tell me...

* Sexy music

Otherwise, are you single?

We ring.

I'm asking you this ...

Since you're roommates, you're single ?

Huh? Tell me.

- Yeah, recently. - Unbelievable. Like me.

You ring again. Whore...

- MOM ! - Yes, my darlings!

They scream.

My darlings ! Kiss my love!

- We do not waste time.

"I missed you, my darlings.

- Do you want hoods, too? - Huh?

- Wait for the children are lying down.

- We are back !

- It's my home, there.

They are heckling.

Hi and in 15 days.

- YES!

- Huh? - Well ... That's done.

- YES!

- Children, come say hello to Antoine.

- YES ! YOUHOU!

- Come on, say hello to Antoine.

- Do you have a Playstation?

- Huh? - You say hello, darling.

- Tell me you have a Playstation.

She's blowing.

Hello. Do you have a Playstation?

- That's Theo, 8,

and Lou, 5 years old.

- You saw, she is beautiful, my dress. It's the prettiest.

Where is our room?

- Bedroom ?

- Over there ?

Theo imitates a mermaid.

The door slams.

- What was that ?

Funny music

...

You'll see if I have a Playstation.

...

Tension music

...

*-Hello.

You are on Thomas's answering machine. Leave a message.

- You explain to me, there? Damn, but to me ...

A mother. In addition, with children!

It is the attack of the century!

I had to have mannequins, I have kids.

A boy and a girl. Did you think we were at Hogwarts?

Listen to me, buddy.

Woman and children, it clears before the end of the week.

This is the American-style trial. I'll open you in two

for sabotaging my roommate, fired the dummies

and set up a daycare! Encle!

He yells.

...

Fucked, go.

Enough, I'll fuck you!

Screaming fight in the room

She knocks.

- Ah!

I'm going to fuck you. - Antoine?

So, will we celebrate it tomorrow?

Good night.

Children!

Teeth, pee and in bed.

- Oh fuck...

Whore, I've never been treated like that.

snoring

...

- MOM !

- Mom...

Mom... Shouting scream

Ah! Mom ! Mom !

Lou screams in the hallway.

He sighs.

...

- Did you see my Honey Pops?

- Oh fuck...

Oh, hell ...

What a hell, bastard! What hell...

What a hell, bastard!

*Message

* SMS Beep

Oh, guys ...

- Antoine?

Too good, your presentation.

- Hello.

Your presentation was super good.

- I'm asking you, are you good?

OK...

OK, OK, OK ...

His phone rings.

...

Yeah, hello, my poto.

- Excuse me ? - It's okay ?

Hold on. What?

- Did you see my mug?

- I do not know where he is, Serge.

- I have the same.

- Yes, great, I'm on the phone.

Yeah, I know!

I know I know. A chance to cuckold, buddy!

Yeah, it's like that.

I must have a gift, something ...

Yeah. Yeah, the roommate "good girl",

It's for me. It's awesome.

I kiss you, my Stan. Kisses, bye bye.

I'm in shit.

They will not let me go.

*Vibrator

I'm in the shit!

- Christian, you disturb me. I am in full date.

Come on, I listen to you, but I have little time.

Yes mom.

Yes everything is fine.

No, I'm not coming to your place, I found an apartment.

Here.

Yes, Laura?

I got the message, I'm coming very soon.

* SMS Beep - Stan ...

"How's it going with the hottie? "

Pfff ...

- BUT,

EUH! - What? It's okay.

What are you doing?

He whines.

...

* Second goal ...

...

Lou laughs.

- Let go of me !

Fight

...

* -It is beautiful, your dragonfly, Nicolas.

* Joyful music

- Where is she ?

Where is she ?

Where is she ?

Give me the remote control.

Good...

Strident howls

...

OK, OK, OK!

* Ukulele

- At table !

K

At the table, if not McDo this week-end.

K

- Thanks Mom. Mom ?

- That's enough.

Where is she ?

- What? - She stole my remote.

- Not even true !

- If z _N0n!

- You calm down.

Lou, that's not good.

As soon as you finish, you will make the remote control.

- No now. - No.

We do not go out of table before finishing his plate.

They draw language in rhythm.

...

The door slams. They laugh.

* -So, I finished, look, mom.

Door slam

- Sorry, she's a joke. - There is no harm.

Scream

Funny music

...

- Hmm ...

Little sigh

The straw whines.

He drinks loudly.

...

- Ah!

Yeah...

- Oh !

- Oh !

- Wow. Wow !

Antoine chuckles.

- Hmm ...

Moaning of envy

- Mmm ...

He speaks with his mouth full.

It's too good !

Little squeak

Oh ! - Oh !

- It's a car ! - For me ?

- Excellent!

He imitates an engine.

...

- Good. Come on, teeth, pee, in bed.

Theo. Lou.

Go!

- Bye. Good night.

- Antoine?

You have the upper floors.

It should be fine ?

- Yeah. I think.

He's snoring.

...

Ah! It's not me !

It's not me...

The children sneer.

Oh, fuck your mother the bitch!

He falls.

OK...

There is war, guys.

- Remove squatters,

it's a very heavy procedure, very long and very expensive.

Good. Did you call the police ?

- No, I did not think about it, but it's a good idea.

- Wait, I do not understand.

People came in, you did not call the police,

and they do not want to leave?

'Nearly.

Thomas, my former roommate, the owner's son,

gave them the keys.

- Ah. Squatters have the keys to the apartment?

- Yes...

- Wait, it's not very clear.

Let. How many are they ?

- Three. Moreover, there is one that looks like him.

- A child? - Two.

And there is their mother, there is ...

- Uh ... wait, uh ...

You are explaining to me that it is a mother and her children?

- Perfectly.

- You want to expel them?

- A little, I want. - In November ?

- Yes, I do not see the report too much.

- I think we'll stop there.

- Huh? - Yes.

For information,

these people have the right to occupy the dwelling,

since the owner gave them the keys.

And expulsions are prohibited in winter.

- Yeah, all right ...

- Nathalie?

- You can prepare a note fees for Mr. Duval? 200.

He stammers.

- Like that, she is.

I swear, she walks like this.

Theo imitates a reactor.

We ring.

- Look at the plane, Barbia.

I want to get on the plane, Barbia.

We ring.

- Yeah?

- Welcome surprise aperitif pourJeanne.

- No, she's not here. I'm going down, I'm coming.

- Huh?

- Whore !

They sound.

*-Yes ? - Well yes...

We are friends of Antoine.

- I open you.

Tension music

...

- My phone !

...

They sound. - Hold on !

Hold on ! Uh ... - What?

(-I am sure she is good.)

-1m2O with a monosourcil.

- HEY!

HEY...

- Jeanne, Stan, Eric. Lets' go. - Hello.

- No, we brought from the field ' and all.

- Oh, that's nice, that.

I put it in the fridge.

-You really have to go. Little laughs

He laughs louder than the kids.

'I'm not fine ?

- It's you, you make me laugh, both.

- Theo?

Lou? Are you in the bath?

- Who is she with?

'Who ? 'who's who'>

- Are you in the bath?

- Who is that ?

- How "who's that"? They! - I'm coming, darling.

- Do not tell me ...

It's a sex plan?

- She's a slut it exhausts me, I swear to you.

Come on, let's go, guys.

- No ? You kidding ? - Yes.

- Do not do anything stupid.

I finish with them

and I come to drink champagne. Wait for me.

- YES MADAM.

- No, but take your time.

Take care of them. Especially the little one.

We will drink the champagne

the next time ? - It is really nice.

Dependent contrast.

Well I'm leaving,

they will put everywhere. Embarrassed laughter

Yes, it's good, I'm coming!

- Have fun.

- But it's the plan of the year!

- I understand he's stealing it, huh?

- Oh guys!

We go, it's good.

- We can... - I want to have it everywhere.

- No stop. Go.

There is a great atmosphere here.

Music disturbing

...

* Electro music babbling

'k

He yells.

- Bravo, darling.

It's cute. Is it for me, hearts?

- Yes. - That's nice, darling.

Hello. - CUCKOO, ANTOINE!

- Hello. Can I talk to you for two minutes?

- Yes.

Stop, Theo. - I would like to tell you

that it is not possible.

- Homework in the living room?

- No. Homework and the living room.

- What are you talking about ?

- Of all that. The gnomes, Honey Pops, you, the apartment.

- The gnomes?

Can I know what's going on?

- At the end of the week, you are no longer there.

You and Tic and Tac, you disengage.

- But it's not ok?

- No. We had to be 2, we are 4.

It's not the Mickey Club. You break.

- Oh ok.

Thomas told me that there was no problem.

- Thomas told me you were blonde with big boobs.

- She has no big tits.

- Oh ok.

He told me about 6 months.

-6 months ? Whore...

-1 euro !

- fucking shit!

-2 euros.

- What? - For big words.

- In your room. - We will not disappoint her, anyway.

If that's it, no problem.

That's it, look. Here.

Poop, zizi, pissed off,

chiasse, shit.

- In your room !

- Shit. Toilet.

Duke's hole. Hairy. - I have...

I said "the room". Go. - Hair. Fion.

Hairy dog's asshole.

- You've finished ? - I have more coins.

- So, already, we stay.

If you think I'm impressed, you are the last of my worries.

I left

my apartment where is my husband, who must be in Sandrine.

- Ah ...

- In short, I divorce.

As soon as I know the amount from my pension, I can leave

and pass me of your kids.

- Hum ... - OK ?

In the meantime, we stay. And you, I do not care.

- Well, I stay!

Well, I ... I'm at home.

Hey...

OK, OK, OK ...

*Vibrator

Yeah, Stan?

I am at the office.

I tell you that I am in the office.

Hello?

*Tone

He's Con, him, I swear to you ...

* Buzz

* Girl's voice * -Allo, who is it?

- Uh ... Jeanne?

* -Mom, it's for you!

*-Yes ?

* Hello?

- Whore...

Okay, come on, there, there. Go away.

- No, it's blue.

- What, "blue"? - Yes, it's blue.

- I dunno. A Smurf?

- Blue, it's time for children. - What?

- Oh ok. OK. But there is something missing.

There is no mark when I can pee.

- Ah ...

It is after having lifted the toilet bowl.

I'll add it, it does not look clear.

Psst, children ...

I saw with mom. We forget the blue, all that.

I add 1 euro and you give me the remote control.

That's good, huh?

- OK.

- Serious?

- HM hm.

- Shit...

- If you have no money, you can pay in Smarties.

- Anything ... Smarties.

Who do you take me for ?

- For no one.

- Uh ... tell me?

Uh, no, it's not that tonight. Give me Smarties.

- Smarties? - Yeah, please.

Yeah, that's it.

Here. Great. Give me the big package.

Thank you, I'll pay you tomorrow, okay?

- MyMedia, hello. Ah, Antoine?

- Yes ? - Your appointment has arrived, huh.

- My meeting ? - Hum.

- Hello.

Sorry, i am late.

Please sit down. A coffee ?

A sugar ?

You're welcome.

Hop, that's it.

What can I do ?

If you do not know, it's going to be complicated.

Funny music

...

I...

...

Well, hey, you know what? Break up, break up.

You're going to sleep. Emerges.

- I'm not taken? - You'll take this one.

- Hello. - Whore...

- I'm the Fairy Galipette,

for young and old, with his show

Somersault in the Land of magic wands.

- What is this mess ?

- Your appointments.

They are there for the announcement. - Which ad?

- A Lannister honors his debts.

- What?

Hello, Jeanne? It's Antoine.

Hey, but what a bar of laughter in the office, I was bent in half.

Great, the casting.

The mime, extraordinary. I almost got fired.

How old are you ?

Do you want war? You have it.

Yeah, go ahead, I'm listening.

Did not find an apartment?

Yeah...

Yeah, that's good day.

- Yeah ...

It's okay ? You look tense. - That's the job, do you have any worries?

- No, he would have talked about it. - Yes you are right. Of course.

What is that ? It's a birthday cast.

- What birthday?

- Are you the casting?

- Sorry, sorry, sorry.

- Whore...

- Hey ! Two kids ... You're sick, you.

- Why did not you say anything?

- My life is hell. Oh...

- This sole is hell. They agree.

- And your roommate? -It plays a little less at the console,

and he has a healthy diet since he bites little Swiss.

Finally, short.

Typical single quarantine.

Afraid to grow old, children, confinement,

commitment, responsibilities.

- I know.

- It's a PDT. Afraid of everything.

I saw that in a magazine.

- Oh well, fags, it's easier.

- But leave. Go to your parents, or somewhere else.

- No, I still have a nice apartment,

with a room for children, Near the school,

without having my mother to tell me how to dress them.

- I do not suggest you come.

With Jean-Marc, children and stock of Peruvian cups for my site ...

- It's sweet, that. - Yes.

- I prefer to hold on until the judgment of the divorce.

Despite my late roommate.

- Teeth, pee ...

- AND BED! - There, fuck!

* Rhythmic music

'k

- This is our apartment in Teuf. - Yes.

- You were there first. - The dwarves will not do the law.

- Do not talk to me about dwarves. Stop with that, mess.

Come on, go, go ahead.

- Quick, buddy.

Come on guys !

K

- Do not go to sleep!

K

Hubbub

...

- Eric, how are you, man? - It's okay.

- In finance, we travel. Do you know the Caribbean?

- Oh no. -I must take you.

You'll love, Veronica. - By cons, me, it's Maria.

- Yeah, Maria, it's better.

- Yeah! - Hum ...

- Yeah, that's good. - You can not

to call your friend?

- I have ecstas.

- Yeah, that's good, ecstas. If you want, we have it.

- I do not touch that, me. - Why not crack, are you sick?

Take some grass. - Yeah.

Do not like losing control.

- Do not worry, I make a call.

Jldéconne. No, but it's cool.

- Yeah?

- Once.

I killed a deer in the car.

- Serious?

- Yeah. But at the time, I was a vegetarian.

They laugh.

- It's good, it happens. - Cool.

-It is 2 o'clock in the morning, there!

The children sleep, it's not possible.

- I present you my sister. She loves doing her drama queen.

- Ah yes, nice Ï

- Hey, hey, hey!

Pee ! In bed ! The teeth!

- Go!

- Oh ok.

'Oh. It's okay!

- Come on, come with your paj!

- The paj! The pyJ!

- PYJ! THE PYJ!

THE PYJ! THE PYJ!

We ring.

- So there it is. We ring.

Ah! Ah!

Hey ! Who is that ?

Who is it? that?

It's the dea-dea, it's my ... - DEALER !

- Good !

This is the dea-dea

It's the dealer! It's the dealer ...

Oh, fucking shit.

They sound.

- Good evening. - Good evening.

We were informed of a night fuss at Mr. Duval's.

- Thanks, you did it fast.

- You live here ?

- Absolutely.

- Your ID? - Yes of course.

- Gentlemen, ladies, good evening.

Snap of the fingers

...

- Here.

250 euros.

- No, but it's me who called you.

- For night fuss? - Yes that's it.

- You live here ? - Yes.

- It's me, I was there first. It's marked on the lease.

- It's him, the fuss.

- Is this your husband?

- No.

-He lives here ?

- Eh yes.

- You think we have

what to do? - Yes. No !

- That's enough, 250 euros. - Hey oh, hey!

Do not do your bitch, Julie Lescroc.

- Sorry ? - Calm down.

- Otherwise, I'm slapping!

- Uh! -450 euros

for contempt of the agent.

- Oh no. "Whore" is 1 euro.

"Encle" is 1 euro.

That's 3 euros.

He yells.

...

- No, but hey, Antoine!

- You are sick !

- Antoine? - It's okay ? It's okay ?

- Antoine! Oh !

What is my name ? - You have to call someone.

What are we going to do ?

-It is pissing on it. - Oh, go ahead ...

- It is not serious.

- Have pee ... - It's okay ?

- Pee, Jeanne.

-He was tasered. Jeanne?

He was tasered. You had your revenge.

-He looked for it.

- Look, mom.

The panties are broken.

- Sit down

- You have complained for fuss at home?

You have to relax.

Do you know what that means? You have to fuck.

- Oh yes.

But where, when, how, with whom? I have time for nothing.

- I may have a plan.

Rencontrons-nous.com.

- What? - You've got 3 appointment for tonight.

- Never.

* -Species of evil, the mouse will see ...

* SMS Beep

*Television

'k

Scary music

- Oh, damn shit!

Children, how are you?

The sweets you eat,

they have a weird taste?

- YES. - Oh fuck...

Here, look. Tell me ?

How many felts are there? - There are 5 of them.

- No, there are not 5. How many are there? A...

How many are there?

- Yena22!

- Oh, fuck, it's hot!

- She can not count.

- Darling, look at me. What's your first name ?

- Chrystal, the queen of ponies! - But no.

It's Lou, your name. And you what's your name ?

- Me, it's robot with a truck which is changing.

She's screaming.

- They are smashed.

Oh ok.

- I am thirsty! - Wow, dehydration, wow!

They scream.

Lou sings.

...

OK. Here.

Wow, it's the climb. No, go down, go down.

There you are! Slowly. Look, it's for you.

It is necessary to hydrate, it is normal. But there is no problem.

You breathe slowly.

That's good.

OK it's cool. She's screaming.

I'm in the shit!

I will call the fire department. No, tell Jeanne.

I do not want to go to jail.

- You'll be going soon.

- Come on !

- Shit !

And shit, shit!

They are fine !

He's stupid!

He is stupid!

Ooh!

- Theo, Lou, come say hello.

It's 8:30 pm. And for the rest, I wrote everything down.

See you tonight. Come on, I'm running away.

Good evening, thank you!

- Show me the room.

But...

You stay ?

- Yeah. I am at home.

- Ah ...

*Vibrator

- Hello, Vincent?

Yeah, I am in position. This is the big stress.

I have not had a date for 10 years, I ...

I'm a little tense.

How do I recognize it?

*-I said that you would have a currant kir.

- Yes. Good. ♪ order one, then?

* -Good, Jeanne, focus, there. You're here for fishing.

- You're right. I must find myself a guy.

I must find myself a guy. - Jeanne?

Nice to meet you. Stephane.

- I'll call you back.

- So you have children?

- Yes, a boy, a girl.

Finally, a girl, a boy ...

Finally, there it is.

And you ?

- Well ... I have some friends.

- Ah ...

- And there, Pascal says to Michel:

"You'll see, Dominique will still make his fag. "

How stupid, Dominique!

Sexy rhythmic music

...

-"Metro !

"Your stations are spinning ...

"one after the other.

"Metro...

"In front of me, people slip in ...

"each other."

No, wait, that's not it.

"Metro...

"In front of me,

"people are parading."

- Hum ... -"Each...

"behind others.

"In line."

- Yeah ...

...

Health.

...

She's blowing.

- Uh ... Jeanne?

- No, it's closed there. - It is...

For pleasure

Bruno.

My friends call me Herbert.

- Jeanne.

My friends call me Jeanne. - Finally, Herbert,

it's about with Herbert Léonard.

I'm president of his fan club: Power and Glory.

You know ?

- No.

- Finally, Power and Glory!

Power and glory

Breathe, there. Open yourself.

We must afford what is priceless A little dream to our life

She sighs.

Take time Sometimes

- Oh yeah ?

Wrap your eyelashes, put on heels, a bra underwire

to take care of the children, the belated roommate and your ex.

We'll see if you have time

to unravel the interfessier furrow for pleasure.

When will it be fun? I am a roommate mother.

- Ooh La La... You need to party.

And have a little fun.

I'm taking care of it.

- Sorry, it's not his turn. - I do not mind.

- You're sure ? - Yes.

- Oh no, no.

He sighs.

- With pleasure.

- But no !

Battle cry

Mocking laughter

Sad groan

We ring.

- Oh, how are you? You have a small mine, say so.

- Hello Mom. - MAMOUCHKA!

- Mamouch what?

- It's hell, your neighborhood.

I wonder how you do it. It is ingarable.

- Damn, there are two now. - Hey !

It's nice here.

So ? Where is he ?

- Who ? - What do you mean, "who"?

Pope ! Where is he?

Christian told me everything.

We would have preferred that you present us

before settling with him, but it's like that.

Good, well, lovely ...

He does not even say hello.

-He is ill.

-He could still say hello.

Well then... If he is so kind to Eve,

he will be received by your father.

- Wait ... What Eve?

Antoine?

Antoine?

I told my ex that I was with someone.

He told my parents who think it's you.

We are invited together at Christmas dinner.

- Never.

- You already have something with your parents ?

- Retired, traveling abroad.

- Ah. Good.

I have no choice. I can not tell them I'm in roommate.

My mother, that would make her mad.

It's shame, I do not assume. Here. You do not know my mother.

- Believe me, it does not matter.

- You do not realize ?

You're the first man that I present to them since Christian.

- No ? Serious? The first ?

- Yeah.

- I do not care.

- Well, what do you want?

What do I have ?

He moans sensually.

...

He imitates a trumpet.

...

He moans.

...

Go.

Small moans

...

The couch squeaks.

...

Oh!

Oh!

He moans.

...

- No, but how old are you?

- No, I'm kidding.

I want you to break.

Okay ?

After the eve, as you are my girl, we separate.

There will be no problem.

In 1 month, you left.

- OK. You won.

Air of "Long live the wind"

...

- I'm done, Mom!

...

- Good ... Uh ... No choice.

- Should not turn right?

- We never know where we're going, damn.

- One big word is 1 euro.

Yeah! A Euro! - It's built

for the Germans do not find Paris.

- We should connect the GPS. - GPS to go

in the Chevreuse Valley ... We will find there.

- Hurry up, we'll be late.

- If we could go in

not too late, It would favour me.

4 hours for shouting, a burnt turkey, a stuffed father,

it should go, right?

- It's here !

Fairy music

...

- Wow.

...

- My little elves!

Papu! They arrived !

- Ah, the family!

Ah, children! - PAPOU!

- The children ... She is beautiful, my daughter.

- We see it's Christmas.

- Good evening. - Ah. Still.

I'm told good night. Good evening, Antoine.

- The famous Antoine.

You do not do too many miseries to my daughter?

- Papou ... - Dad...

- I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

Finally, I have you in the eye, still.

I laugh.

Come on, come on, kids.

- Where are the gifts?

- Come see the booty.

It's Santa's cache for kids.

Festive music

...

(-Oh shit !)

...

Where you want that I find gifts?

The gift package ...

The gift package ... The gift package ...

- Antoine? - Hum?

- Put you at ease. You are here at home.

Here, Saint-Émilion 2005.

You'll see. A vintage.

Me, I prefer dry white with oysters.

And justly...

There is.

Rest assured, they are open.

I do not blow you the opening test.

It's not the kind of house.

Health.

- Cheers.

Oh yes, indeed he is exceptional.

- Good, you will not be disappointed by your gift.

Fairy music

...

She is excellent, your turkey.

'Do you like it?

- Yes it's very good.

- It lacks a fussy plate.

- You look good together, both.

What are your projects?

- Uh ... that's right, baby. What are our projects?

- Do not go too fast.

Already that you settle quickly ...

No but come on... He is fast, little Antoine.

- Uh ... - Oh...

- It is convenient to have kids ready, right?

It avoids diapers,

baby bottles, sleepless nights

Men today want everything.

- Hey...

Antoine, Antoine.

I have something to show you.

('Oh fuck...)

(-Enter, come, come.)

(Close the door.)

Antoine ...

It is an honor...

In 25 years, no one has ever been caught.

Come on, right now.

I'm waiting for you downstairs. - Huh?

- The. The.

- What's he telling me?

Oh no...

- Then the children ...

My little finger tells me that Santa Claus will arrive soon.

- Wow !

- HERE IT IS ! - Run!

The kids are screaming.

...

- Santa Claus !

- Santa Claus !

- Santa Claus !

- But run! Run!

He cries in slow motion.

...

In slow motion - It's Santa Claus!

...

- Santa Claus !

The kids are screaming.

-He left there!

Groovy music Brouhaha children

//

They knock on the door.

-It is strong, that one!

- Open this door!

Ayes.

- Do you know where is the key?

- I have an idea.

Tension music

...

Groovy music

...

- Ah! Oh fuck!

Oh, fuck, con!

Oh fuck...

The con!

Mamouchka, my ass, yeah.

Papuan shit.

Ah!

- They'll find him, huh.

I will call him.

Phone

- fucking shit.

...

Wait ... Jeanne!

I'm on the roof!

- Why did you go out there?

- There are your two Gremlins that make me shit.

- Wait, calm down. Breathe.

- I do not want to die, There are paving stones at the bottom.

- Calm down. What is this tradition?

- Calm down. Breathe. * -OK, OK, OK.

- Go along the guardrail. Go along the guardrail on your right.

- OK. * -You always go straight.

No, well, not all right.

- Hold on !

* -Respire. You walk along the guardrail.

- I'm going to die as Santa with a beard at the con.

- Go back to the office window. I'll go get you.

- I arrive !

Festive music

...

It's super high, fucking.

...

He whines.

What is this family?

- No one asked you to climb!

- Your kids are running after me Since earlier !

- They'll hear you!

- I do not give a damn, okay?

♪ could have crushed me like shit.

- There is no death of man. - What?

But go ahead, you, go up, if there is no death of man.

What is this tradition?

Take off my boots, I'm in pain. - Hush!

- Your father... Heavily, the guy!

"I'm watching you, I'm kidding."

What's this bullshit? You hurt my foot!

They laugh.

...

- Yeah!

- So ? - MAMOUCHKA!

- Santa, we could not have it. Again.

- That is true ? - But he said "fucking"!

- OH...

- No no no. He said "goblin".

We are not ...

- Ah yes ?

What do I see here?

- GIFTS !

YES!

GIFTS !

Happy music

...

She's screaming.

'How do you like it?

They laugh.

- Yes !

Cheers

...

- Yeah! There is a super car!

- Thanks, huh.

He whistles.

- Ah ...

- Thanks, huh.

I did not know if you had it.

That's what.

We are never too careful, Mamouchka.

Soft music

...

- Oh, a lipstick.

I found more mine.

- Oh, it's a chance.

- Look, mom. I too had

lipstick.

- Yes my darling.

- Look, I had a great knife.

- Ah, it's not for you, that.

In your description, you forgot the shitty gifts.

- There is a security on the knife.

Soft music

...

-it's getting late, you have to go to bed.

...

- It was not so bad.

- Huh? No but...

Are you kidding or what?

Not so terrible? I almost died there!

She laughs.

Good, I have a little fuck for gifts, okay.

- If one breaks down, we are in the shit.

Soft music

...

* SMS beeps

- Well, tell me ...

- We are organizing for New Year's Day.

- What New Year's Day? - In fact, he ...

If you want, there is a day, in the year,

it's 31, by the way, it's the end of the year.

New Year's Day. - Hum ...

At midnight, everyone is kissing?

- Yeah, that's it. You see, do you know?

Every year, New Year's Day is here.

You want to come ?

- I'm invited to my house? - Oh, I want, yeah.

- It's nice. - With pleasure.

You think to bring girlfriends?

- Of course.

- Good, girlfriends!

- Yeah yeah !

Have fun, darlings. - Mom...

- MOM ...

- Mom...

- Christian, you put them to bed early ...

- Hold on. What?

- You lay them early, you do not forget the holiday book.

- I want to stay with you.

- Come on, go quickly.

Good holidays ! - Watch out for cars, you.

Come here. 40000 euros.

- It was great!

* Generic of "Little Nicolas"

'k

* Electro music

'k

- Jeanne?

K

It's okay?

- You are beautiful ! - It's you, the cannon.

It's not so terrible. Frankly, you're tough.

The appart is cool. I was expecting late ones.

K

Hey ! I go !

K

- Antoine? Natacha from Brazil, and Sophie from Sweden.

- Me, it's Lenka. - Me, from Norway.

- Me, c'estjetlag, there ... I ...

Good. Sorry ... Oh! Hey ! Hey! - Hi, Lenka.

- Hey ! Hey...

Where do you come from?

- From Châtelet, line one. Why ?

- OK. Sorry. Did you come here alone?

- Yeah. Well, not exactly. You see, there?

There is Peter, who wants to catch me. - Ah?

- Stéphane, met on Tinder. - Yeah, okay. Yes.

- He is Jeremiah. Oh no, he is Pierre.

So the other one is ...

Jeremiah or Pascal?

- No ? You, too, mix them?

- Hey ! It's okay?

We will have to go with Jean-Marc.

- Ah, already? - Hey, girls?

A tour for the most beautiful.

- Ah thank you.

Good...

Health.

- Hey, okay. New Year's Day, anyway.

Ooh! - Where's your roommate?

I do not know.

*Pop music

'k

We ring.

- Herbert! You could come!

It's nice ! - Jeanne ...

I promised you a surprise.

- Ah. - Hello.

Herbert, for your pleasure.

- Oh...

- New Year's Day Good year bad year

the year goes staggering

And it's now

I wrote it. - Ah yes.

- I put the places next to the first names.

Like "Thibault Père Lachaise",

"Stéphane Silenzio". - Look.

- "Natacha Singapore", "Samantha London".

- You see, I put the cities. It is...

- Are you in roommate? - Yeah.

-Where is he ?

- She's over there.

- Ah. She's your roommate? - Yeah.

- OK, alright. - What?

Bah ... Hey!

*Pop music

'k

- Hop hop hop, excuse me. It's for professionals.

K

- Thanks, I'm going to relax.

Hey!

K

They shout.

K

They're laughing.

Cry of joy

'k

Ah!

K

- Hey, Jeanne ... Mollo.

K

- Yes me too.

K

- Well then? You look very tense.

Drink a shot.

K

She is thirsty, the slut.

K

- It's an evening of darons, in fact.

- I admit.

- Good evening.

I just saw Charles Aznavour.

- Come on, girl, we're breaking up.

- Hey ... shit night ...

- Good evening. - Good evening.

- Hello, ladies.

- It becomes embarrassing, there.

K

The music stops. protests

- It's okay ? You look more like Michelle than Pfeiffer.

- Oh...

*Rock music Cry of joy

'k

General silence

...

Moaning disgust at slow motion

- Jeanne, seriously. We have passed the age

to have cooked in Malibu and to stack.

- Stop, it turns. - You surprise me that it turns.

I swear...

Really, what ... What did you screw up?

Here.

- Bah ... I'm not used to it anymore.

* -Test, one, two ... Test.

- But it's...

- Herbert.

Pleased to meet you, it's Herbert.

*-One. Two.

Ladies, ladies, gentlemen. For this new Year,

* I suggest you watch a girl on the street,

* and tell you

*that she is beautiful.

- When we drink, there are rules.

Do not mix alcohol.

At least not at the beginning. Space the shots,

drink from the fleet sometimes.

You must have eaten!

If you have not eaten, it's ... And sometimes ... Good, sometimes ...

- I will never find anyone.

I am an unworthy mother.

My ex, it's a con.

Besides, when I want to be glamorous, I'm showering on people.

I have to rinse myself.

- Huh? - The mouth.

- Oh yes, the mouth.

You do not stack on people, but on me.

It is true that your ex ...

it's really an idiot. But with a strength ...

* -For the pleasure of the new year, count!

*Five...

- FOUR, THREE,

TWO ONE...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

*-For pleasure - Here, look.

We are in the bathroom. Great.

Happy New Year.

*-Sometimes To remake a man

*A child

* And to be dazzled

- FOR PLEASURE

DELIVER WHAT DOES NOT HAVE PRIZES

A LITTLE DREAM TO OUR LIFE

AND BEGIN

FOR PLEASURE

DELIVER WHAT DOES NOT HAVE PRIZES

He blows.

Oh shit !

Shit !

Oh shit...

Hello. - Hello.

- You want some coffee ? - Yes thanks.

He's coughing.

- Here.

A sugar ?

- Thank you. - So, I'm going to make one.

I'm bored.

Usually when I wake up with a girl,

I am coming back home.

- When I wake up

with a guy, I take him to school.

- OH, CHAMPION!

- I am in a rush.

Stéphane, mayonnaise egg, steak-fries, ketchup! Thank you.

For good resolutions ...

Oh, damn, the year is going to be long. I'm already tired.

- Good then ?

- Well then ...

So how are you? - Are you kidding us?

Oh ! - What?

I packed a girl. It never happened to you?

Scarf 0H13 new yeaf!

- Sorry, excuse us.

You're serious. - You do not rechop it.

- Twice, it's together.

- Unless it's the same session. It does not count.

- Oh yeah ?

And the girl of a night who sleeps every night at my house?

- That is...

- That ... We ... - So ?

Huh?

- That, we did not have it.

We ring.

- MOM ! - My darlings, my babies!

She kisses them.

...

They are beautiful !

- I have a snow medal.

I am strong in skiing. Everyone had it.

- I went down the slopes super fast.

We exceeded everyone

and even the teachers. - Bravo!

That's well gone ?

- They broke out. It cost me a blind,

but they exploded. - AND YOU ?

Where have you been on vacation?

- I did not move. I stayed there.

- I do not want to disturb.

I'm going there.

- Are we saying goodbye to daddy?

- TO REVIEW, DAD! - Hi, my darlings.

The door slams.

- Good night my Love. - Good night mom.

- Good night darling. - Good night mom.

You can leave the corridor light on?

- Yes !

- Mom ?

- Yes, come on, you have to sleep, now.

- Yes, but I'm thirsty.

- I said, "sleep."

- I can not sleep.

- Good, enough, now. I do not want to hear anything.

The parquet squeaks.

...

You go back to bed right now.

Antoine?

(-Yes !)

- What are you doing ?

- Well, I ...

- Returns.

You will wake them up.

What is happening ?

- Bah ...

No, but I thought ...

- What did you think?

What were you doing to me?

- No, no, no, anyway.

wailing

Soft music

wailing

Soft music

wailing

...

wailing

...

The handle whines.

Wait, what was that? - You like ?

- Go away !

- Why ?

- Mom ?

- Yes my darling ?

Enter.

- Mom, I had a nightmare. Was there the werewolf

who is in my room. - Oh...

Come on, come on.

He's snoring.

...

- Mom ! - Oh !

Oh ... Oh, fuck ...

Moaning pain

He sighs.

- Come on, Theo.

It's a hole of ...

- River? - No.

- They have not "teeth, pee and in bed"?

I'd go to bed, me. - No.

You have to finish the homework.

- Oh yes, homework, of course yes.

- Come on, Theo.

"It's a green hole ..." -"Greenery..."

-"Or..." ?

- You know what ? Wait, Theo, I'll do it.

- Oh? - Are you kidding or what?

It is a pleasure.

Take time for yourself and I take care of it. OK ?

- Okay. - Go relax a little.

- Thank you. - Are you kidding or what?

I will have you reviewed. We will do the homework together.

Good then...

So ... Theo ...

It is...

a hole of ... of ...

- Green Hollow. - Yeah!

- Or ?

Or...?

- Sing a river.

- That's good, Theo. "Where does a river sing?" That's it.

You're done, darling? - No.

- But it will be fine.

Come on, presto, it's good. Poetry is done.

Ok good.

You finished. Here. Children.

Come on, teeth, pee and in bed.

- No, there is the calculation.

- Well, then ... the calculation.

Ah yes of course.

259 X 27?

6982. - No.

We must put the restraint.

- What is detention?

So here we are ... Times zero, zero.

That's for sure, I know.

OK. 4 x 3.

9 x 7, that's ... 7 times ... Fucking ...

It's so long, what do I know?

7x5?

You do not know how much does it do?

- If you do not give a lot of Smarties,

I will tell mom that you give us some.

- You're a bastard, you.

What is it, full?

- It's a year.

- A year ?

You're leaving on a box of Smarties time...

7 days a week once ...

4 weeks a month ...

times 12 months equals ...

365 ... Yeah.

It's logic.

OK, OK. But not tonight, it's closed, okay?

- OK.

- Hey ... The kids are still sleeping.

-We need to talk. - Oh yes, talk to me.

-It must stop bullshit. - What are you talking about ?

- All this ... - What? It's okay, we do what we want.

- This makes me uneasy. I have the impression of betraying them.

To lie to them.

To deceive them, what?

- Ah.

-You must be a mother to understand that.

- It means

that if I pack you, I cheat them? I want to deceive them.

I love it. - Stop, it's serious.

- No problem, we just have to continue to hide.

Better than last time.

So there.

- Or, we announce them.

- What is announced?

- The children ...

The children ...

We have something to tell you.

Sometimes...

when people live together,

it happens that they are getting closer

and that they become friends.

And from friends to friends, they are becoming...

of ...

- They become lovers.

- That's what happened to Antoine and me.

But the most important, is that mom loves you very much

and she will always love you.

Always, always.

Always.

Tou ... - Its good ?

Can we go play?

- Of course honey.

- Well I...

I will go play. Uh ... I'll go there.

- Oh no...

They still make us guy running at the airport.

- Seen 3 452 times.

I'm going to find that bastard.

- I already explained you.

Lice, it's in all schools.

It's not someone's fault.

- And the patient zero, what do you do?

- Of course, he kisses her. - There you go.

Ah. It scrapes me.

- Do not touch. - Yes, but it scrapes me.

He groans.

- Oh, kids ... Shit!

- Antoine, you know, Spiderman, he has sneakers ...

Mom wants put on shoes,

finally sneakers. I say that Spiderman is in socks.

- Ah ... Uh ... Theo. Do you have red boots?

- Mom ! Where are my red boots?

He groans.

- Boring ...

The engine will not start. Ah ... shit!

- Go Go go ! Yes !

- Jeanne, are you going to the center? My scooter does not start.

- Yes, of course.

I put them to a birthday ' and I drope you after.

- That's nice thanks.

- Hello !

Oh ! Theo!

They are cute.

- Thank you, Karine. What time is it back? 18h?

- You come for a drink. Are the parents?

- Oh no, it's not possible, we break.

- Yeah!

- You hired a clown?

- No, it's my husband.

- Oh yes.

What is it, sweetie?

- I do not want to play with them anymore, they cheat.

- I will show you how are we cheating.

- Oh, you're here, you!

Oh oh oh ! You lost your tongue or what?

High pitched screams

Ooh! We make her shy!

Uh, little children.

- I'm afraid of the clown, me. - Oh...

- Ooh La La ! Children!

Come on, with me ...

Three little cats Three little cats

- THREE P'TITS CATS, CATS, CATS

STRAW HAT STRAW HAT

- Three little cats

His voice becomes electronic.

...

Three p'tits ...

//

- Wait.

- I have a great idea, come on.

Come to see.

- No, no, children!

I have a better idea

Héoh!

I have a great idea, You will love.

- Ooh La La ! Who wants to know my incredible idea?

We will play the game ...

that you all prefer!

The game of fa ...

- Tiring?

- No it's not that.

FA...

- The postman !

- Yeah, the postman game. - I have a much better idea.

You will be able to dance, to shout.

We will do...

a ball ... at the ... - PRISONER!

He whistles. Cheers

...

- In the living room ?

- Yeah, in the living room.

- IN THE LIVING ROOM ! IN THE LIVING ROOM !

- Come on !

We are moving.

- We are setting up. You move.

- Lance, go!

Eliminated!

Go ahead, Theo, smash it! - Missed. Here.

Yeah, come on, look here. - OK.

OK.

- Yeah!

- Here!

'Let's go!

'Uh!

He's laughing.

- He's a clown too, now with his big red nose!

The clown laughs.

- OK darling. You're moving, move!

- Eliminated! You leave!

Go.

- She's not eliminated. - Yes. You go out.

- No, no, darling.

Wait, what are you playing at?

- Bah, with the ball prisoner, Mr. Gros Nez Rouge!

Children's incentives

...

- Come on, Antoine! Go!

...

- But stop!

He yells.

- I'm going to kill you!

The children are screaming.

- That's enough now.

...

- You're messing up completely.

- Sorry ? - It's bad.

It's shabby. In front of children, it's an example of shit.

- It's okay. It's okay. He took his mouth full, the clown.

- We do not care, the clown.

The problem is you.

You're 40, you play at the console,

you take ecstas, you think that to do the stupid,

you are bribing children with Smarties,

you mess up the birthday snack. Wake up.

- I have the impression to have become a father.

What is this mess ? This snack? There are lots of kids.

I am even more at home. I did not ask anyone.

- Neither do I.

- I'm not like your birthday buddies.

- What, my friends?

- Bobos. Finally, the bobos ... The momoches.

When you see their food, I would not like to be in their shit.

- That's good, it's adult, it's class. You're small.

- Oh yeah ? Let's talk about it, kids.

I did not ask

to have kids who scream,

who should I do funny jokes

I can not even ...

Sad music

...

- OK.

Stop.

...

No, but what bullshit, this roommate.

You realize, at my age, with a con!

- You'll be much better here.

- Yeah. First, an appert only for children and me.

Second, a guy. This time, an adult.

- You'll find both, I trust.

- My old ... - You went to that.

- She almost got you.

- That you serve as a lesson.

- It's played on a few things.

Perhaps, at the moment,

you would take places for the Garden of Acclimation.

- After eating peas and carrots.

- Yuck! Do you still want your french fries?

- No, please.

- You made strong, my bastard.

You're going out without a divorce, without a pension, without children.

- You're balèze. - Balze.

- Very balèze. - Balze.

- You're like ...

Dupont de Ligonnès, without the cops in the ass.

- That's right, there's something.

It must be celebrate. - Upon your release.

- Upon my release.

Soft music

...

- It's a tweed, linen-cotton blend.

- That's great. - Great. Thank you.

- Thanks and see you soon.

Goodbye.

The yard in Marseille ...

It's won.

- No ?

- Do not you look happy?

- If, if, if, if. That's great.

- But yeah, that's great! Champagne?

- Champagne.

- Antoine?

It's okay?

I came

drop the keys of Jeanne. I'm going there.

- They are fine ?

- Everyone is fine, yes.

- I could not reach Jeanne.

- I do not think so that she wants to talk to you.

- And the children?

- They are fine.

- Bye.

- Antoine?

I did not have to tell you, but Jeanne goes to Marseilles.

- Marseille? But euh... But when ?

- I dropped them at the airport.

They have the flight of 17:30.

Well I'm leaving. Hello.

- Shit...

Rhythmic music

Shit...

...

The engine will not start.

Shit !

...

Shit !

...

Oh shit...

And shit.

* -10 km of accumulated traffic jams ... - Oh shit.

- And shit.

- Which terminal, please? - Oh shit.

...

Shit, shit, shit, shit!

...

And shit shit!

- Hey, shit!

- Class, huh!

- Thank you.

- Oh, there's Antoine.

- Oh, Antoine!

- You forgot that.

- Yeah! My PS!

- Vincent told me you're leaving. I will not keep it.

- Good, come on. We are going to be late.

Thank you.

Children, take your things.

Go.

Let's go.

Hello.

- Hello.

Sad music

...

Hello. Paris-Marseille, please?

- For when ? - Now.

Soft music

Not run.

...

Not run to the airport.

...

Do not run!

...

And shit!

Groovy music

...

- Hello, your ticket.

- My ticket... - Thank you.

You are all ahead. - What?

No, but wait. - You are there. This one.

- Sit down, sir. - I just want ...

* - Boarding completed.

* -Jeanne?

Jeanne, do not leave.

* I know you want me,

* but it's this con clown with his three little cats.

* I'm not used to kids.

- Please.

- No, miss. It is important !

* Jeanne ...

* I'm not the type of guy that you wait.

* When you landed, I tried to fire you.

* We managed to live together. We learned to live together.

* We've messed up, we ...

We had a lot of fun.

* We became a family.

* I miss this family.

Jeanne, I miss you.

Is it Paris-Marseille?

Soft music

...

- Excuse me ... Come on.

Take your things. Take your bag.

Excuse me.

...

Look what I'm doing.

- I ran in an airport.

...

The passengers applaud.

//

- We landed?

//

Soft music

...

(Antoine) - Children, we're going home.

(Jeanne) - Let's go.

- They kissed, it's lovers!

- Lovers ! Lovers !

Rhythmic music

...

Soft music

...

Subtitling: ECLAIR