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1
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:05,159
What's going on
with y'all this weekend?
2
00:00:05,311 --> 00:00:07,068
I heard Brenda on the phone,
3
00:00:07,171 --> 00:00:10,664
ordering a party bus and
a dirty cantaloupe centerpiece
4
00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:12,591
from Edible Arrangements.
5
00:00:12,784 --> 00:00:14,652
Edible Derangements.
6
00:00:14,712 --> 00:00:16,523
It's like an erotic knockoff?
Probably not gonna
7
00:00:16,547 --> 00:00:17,930
stand up in court. Anyway,
8
00:00:18,081 --> 00:00:19,576
Brenda is throwing
a bachelorette party
9
00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:20,824
for her cousin Brenda.
10
00:00:20,885 --> 00:00:22,250
Not just a bachelorette party.
11
00:00:22,311 --> 00:00:24,753
The throwdown to end
all throwdowns,
12
00:00:24,814 --> 00:00:26,330
starring the whole Brenda clan.
13
00:00:26,390 --> 00:00:28,127
We got a party bus,
drunk tubing,
14
00:00:28,151 --> 00:00:30,236
and as many male strippers
as you can legally have
15
00:00:30,260 --> 00:00:32,594
before you got to call it
a "nudist colony."
16
00:00:32,655 --> 00:00:35,856
Ooh, now, Jenny,
just be careful.
17
00:00:36,008 --> 00:00:37,616
Last time one of the Brendas had
18
00:00:37,768 --> 00:00:42,362
a bachelorette party, this one
went missing for five days,
19
00:00:42,498 --> 00:00:44,439
and this one...
20
00:00:44,500 --> 00:00:47,776
Meaning you, Jenny...
Got bit by a police horse.
21
00:00:47,837 --> 00:00:49,520
Yeah, it was awful.
22
00:00:49,622 --> 00:00:50,963
You know what, Brenda?
23
00:00:51,132 --> 00:00:53,299
I-I think I got
to sit this one out.
24
00:00:53,468 --> 00:00:54,950
Good for you, Jenny.
25
00:00:55,011 --> 00:00:56,989
You keep this up,
soon you'll be having
26
00:00:57,013 --> 00:00:59,120
just as much fun as me.
27
00:00:59,182 --> 00:01:02,382
Okay, off to my dead
husband's grave.
28
00:01:02,477 --> 00:01:04,051
Doo-doo-doo-doo!
29
00:01:04,145 --> 00:01:05,627
What the hell are you going?
30
00:01:05,688 --> 00:01:07,295
I'm pouring out some weak sauce
31
00:01:07,356 --> 00:01:08,647
to honor my best friend,
32
00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:11,536
who died of Can't Hang Disease.
33
00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:13,802
Oh, come on, Brenda.
I-I can't party like I used to.
34
00:01:13,905 --> 00:01:16,230
- I'm a mom now.
- (man shouts)
35
00:01:16,365 --> 00:01:19,566
- (Jenny laughs)
- There's my little hellraiser.
36
00:01:19,660 --> 00:01:21,869
? ?
37
00:01:23,414 --> 00:01:29,488
Check out more than 100 online Thai lessons
on BananaThai, osdb.link/bananathai
38
00:01:51,767 --> 00:01:53,100
Jenny, shouldn't you be packing?
39
00:01:53,194 --> 00:01:55,361
Oh, for the Brenda Bachelorette?
40
00:01:55,512 --> 00:01:57,007
Yeah, I don't know.
41
00:01:57,031 --> 00:01:58,825
I don't know if I want to go
to an all-weekend party.
42
00:01:58,849 --> 00:02:01,011
I mean, it's not that I can't
hang. I was just planning
43
00:02:01,035 --> 00:02:02,870
on organizing
my closet this weekend.
44
00:02:02,894 --> 00:02:04,444
Jenny, just go.
45
00:02:04,597 --> 00:02:05,924
You can be a responsible adult
46
00:02:05,948 --> 00:02:07,392
and still have fun
every once in a while.
47
00:02:07,416 --> 00:02:09,600
When's the last time
you really blew it out?
48
00:02:09,702 --> 00:02:12,211
Yeah, go party, Miss Martyr.
I can watch Violet.
49
00:02:12,362 --> 00:02:13,857
There's a covered dish
tonight at church.
50
00:02:13,881 --> 00:02:15,714
Violet can be my arm candy.
51
00:02:15,866 --> 00:02:17,194
Sorry, but there's no way
52
00:02:17,218 --> 00:02:18,886
that I'm going
to another church potluck.
53
00:02:18,910 --> 00:02:20,888
If I see green Jell-O
with marshmallows in it,
54
00:02:20,912 --> 00:02:22,613
I will never stop screaming.
55
00:02:22,673 --> 00:02:25,057
Violet, you don't have to
get within six feet of Jell-O.
56
00:02:25,208 --> 00:02:26,870
We can hang out this weekend,
you and me.
57
00:02:26,894 --> 00:02:29,895
- Wait, really?
- Yep, a father-daughter weekend.
58
00:02:30,088 --> 00:02:32,639
Sorry, common-law stepfather.
59
00:02:32,792 --> 00:02:34,545
Ah, nope. Wayne-Violet weekend.
60
00:02:34,569 --> 00:02:36,310
No father anywhere near that.
61
00:02:36,404 --> 00:02:38,962
Wayne, you're gonna have to be
more like a father than a buddy.
62
00:02:39,064 --> 00:02:41,148
- (horn honking)
- (women whooping)
63
00:02:41,300 --> 00:02:44,629
Come on, Jenny! Jump through
the ring of fire, girl!
64
00:02:44,653 --> 00:02:47,805
- Go! I got this.
- Mom, just go.
65
00:02:47,865 --> 00:02:51,475
- (women whooping, cheering)
- You're sure?
66
00:02:51,535 --> 00:02:54,144
- Oh, my Lord, just go!
- Okay, you talked me into it.
67
00:02:54,204 --> 00:02:55,849
Don't eat a bunch of trash
and stay up too late.
68
00:02:55,873 --> 00:02:57,442
And lock all the doors.
And drink all the milk
69
00:02:57,466 --> 00:02:58,591
before it expires!
70
00:02:58,784 --> 00:03:01,479
(women whooping, clamoring)
71
00:03:01,503 --> 00:03:03,262
? Oh, yeah ?
72
00:03:03,455 --> 00:03:05,989
? Oh, yeah,one, two, three, four... ?
73
00:03:06,050 --> 00:03:09,143
(cheering and whooping)
74
00:03:14,817 --> 00:03:17,059
I cannot for the life of me
understand
75
00:03:17,153 --> 00:03:20,003
why my potato salad is
still untouched.
76
00:03:20,064 --> 00:03:22,856
People are passing it up
just to spite me.
77
00:03:22,950 --> 00:03:25,100
Bobbie Nell,
your potato salad is always
78
00:03:25,244 --> 00:03:26,768
covered in cigarette ashes.
79
00:03:26,871 --> 00:03:30,530
Uh-oh! Looks like we got
a Bud situation.
80
00:03:30,666 --> 00:03:32,144
BETTY: Never comes to service.
81
00:03:32,168 --> 00:03:34,438
He only worships
at the altar of free food.
82
00:03:34,462 --> 00:03:36,945
BOBBIE NELL:
He pounded all the ham biscuits
83
00:03:37,006 --> 00:03:38,872
and laid waste to the ambrosia.
84
00:03:38,966 --> 00:03:41,541
Oh, and now he's
moved on to my chicken?
85
00:03:41,636 --> 00:03:45,379
Eating it up before any actual
children of God can get a taste?
86
00:03:45,473 --> 00:03:47,139
This stops now.
87
00:03:47,332 --> 00:03:49,290
Well, well, well,
88
00:03:49,352 --> 00:03:51,310
if it isn't Bud Bullard.
89
00:03:51,503 --> 00:03:53,784
All right now, Betty.
If it wasn't for my strip club,
90
00:03:53,839 --> 00:03:56,798
no one would even feel guilty
enough to come here on Sunday.
91
00:03:56,901 --> 00:03:59,652
(inhales deeply)
92
00:03:59,845 --> 00:04:01,820
Plus, your thighs
are my favorite.
93
00:04:02,013 --> 00:04:04,973
You are gross.
Manhandling my breasts, as well.
94
00:04:05,034 --> 00:04:08,402
Welp, back to reveling
in the Lord's bounty.
95
00:04:08,554 --> 00:04:10,237
This stops now.
96
00:04:10,373 --> 00:04:14,166
I got to get this blasphemous
pig out of the Lord's trough.
97
00:04:14,359 --> 00:04:16,647
- (phone rings, vibrates)
- Go for Bud.
98
00:04:16,671 --> 00:04:18,315
(deep voice): Bud, where you at?
99
00:04:18,339 --> 00:04:20,898
I just pulled into your club,
and it's on fire!
100
00:04:20,999 --> 00:04:22,657
- What?!
- I said
101
00:04:22,718 --> 00:04:24,677
your filthy strip club
is on fire.
102
00:04:24,870 --> 00:04:26,786
Oh, no! My club! My girls!
103
00:04:26,847 --> 00:04:28,755
Hup... oh, gaw! Oh, my heart!
104
00:04:28,849 --> 00:04:30,809
Here it comes.
Oh, this ain't good.
105
00:04:30,843 --> 00:04:32,000
Uh-oh.
106
00:04:32,061 --> 00:04:35,095
Don't you quit on me, heart! Oh!
107
00:04:35,247 --> 00:04:38,265
I'm gonna take one more bite
of this... nope, bad idea.
108
00:04:38,359 --> 00:04:40,943
Ooh. Overshot it.
109
00:04:42,738 --> 00:04:44,863
Okay, we've got
French bread, pizzas,
110
00:04:45,032 --> 00:04:47,032
popcorn and fixings for s'mores.
111
00:04:47,201 --> 00:04:49,321
I was thinking we could have
a movie night,
112
00:04:49,370 --> 00:04:51,787
- then an indoor campout.
- (girls laughing)
113
00:04:53,198 --> 00:04:54,932
Um, sure.
114
00:04:54,992 --> 00:04:56,912
I think people are really
loving our shirts.
115
00:04:56,936 --> 00:04:58,268
They're so jealous.
116
00:04:58,328 --> 00:05:00,265
Okay, so since I put
on your fun T-shirt,
117
00:05:00,289 --> 00:05:02,192
can we do something
I want to do now?
118
00:05:02,216 --> 00:05:03,860
Like, can we buy these fedoras
119
00:05:03,884 --> 00:05:05,553
and go over
to the Mega Joe Mart Caf�
120
00:05:05,577 --> 00:05:07,555
and take our pictures
as we sip espressos
121
00:05:07,579 --> 00:05:08,870
and pretend we're in Paris?
122
00:05:08,973 --> 00:05:11,223
One million percent yes
on the fedoras,
123
00:05:11,416 --> 00:05:13,227
but I'm pretty sure
your mom doesn't like you
124
00:05:13,251 --> 00:05:14,893
to have caffeine... let me check.
125
00:05:15,086 --> 00:05:17,615
No, Wayne. You don't need
to call Mom! (groans)
126
00:05:17,639 --> 00:05:19,047
(women whooping, clamoring)
127
00:05:19,108 --> 00:05:21,400
- BRENDA: Hey, don't splash me!
- (phone ringing)
128
00:05:21,569 --> 00:05:23,902
Jenny Hart speaking here.
129
00:05:24,071 --> 00:05:25,738
Hey, Jenny. Violet's fine.
130
00:05:25,931 --> 00:05:28,626
- Uh, I just wanted to ask...
- Catch!
131
00:05:28,650 --> 00:05:30,242
(whooping)
132
00:05:30,435 --> 00:05:32,302
- ALL: Oh!
- My cooter bone!
133
00:05:32,404 --> 00:05:34,766
(slurring):
Wait, sorry, Wayne. Say that again?
134
00:05:34,790 --> 00:05:37,916
I just wanted to check, is
Violet allowed to have espresso?
135
00:05:38,109 --> 00:05:41,086
Oh, right. Okay, here are
the caffeine rules...
136
00:05:41,279 --> 00:05:43,480
Jenny, come on!
137
00:05:43,540 --> 00:05:44,998
You're talking about rules?
138
00:05:45,150 --> 00:05:48,146
Like some Jenny
narc-ass lifeguard?
139
00:05:48,170 --> 00:05:49,669
Lame.
140
00:05:49,764 --> 00:05:52,765
Wayne, there are no rules
this weekend! (chuckles)
141
00:05:52,958 --> 00:05:54,469
(quietly):
Except for the important ones.
142
00:05:54,493 --> 00:05:55,934
Which you know which is which.
143
00:05:56,127 --> 00:05:59,830
The only rules this weekend
are people that rule!
144
00:05:59,890 --> 00:06:01,400
(quietly):
Use your best judgment.
145
00:06:01,424 --> 00:06:04,001
We're both using
our best judgment this weekend.
146
00:06:04,061 --> 00:06:05,611
(shouts)
147
00:06:05,762 --> 00:06:07,424
- I'm covered in snakes!
- (beeps)
148
00:06:07,448 --> 00:06:09,189
So, what did she say?
149
00:06:09,283 --> 00:06:12,267
Um, she said
I should decide for myself.
150
00:06:12,369 --> 00:06:14,769
Okay, well, what do you say?
151
00:06:14,872 --> 00:06:17,030
All right,
let me think it through.
152
00:06:17,124 --> 00:06:18,124
Huh?
153
00:06:18,909 --> 00:06:20,979
Sorry, Vi, you can't have
that coffee drink.
154
00:06:21,003 --> 00:06:23,148
"Okay, Wayne, I'll look
for a different kind of high.
155
00:06:23,172 --> 00:06:25,188
Drugs. Alcohol.
Whipped cream cans."
156
00:06:25,249 --> 00:06:27,466
Vi, you're drunk.
You got to get clean.
157
00:06:27,659 --> 00:06:28,449
"Then I'm running away."
158
00:06:28,511 --> 00:06:29,968
Berlin. Discotheques.
159
00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:31,397
(German accent):
"Yeah, Fraulein,
160
00:06:31,421 --> 00:06:32,620
you really want to party?"
161
00:06:32,681 --> 00:06:34,475
Wake up. Bathtub full of ice.
162
00:06:34,499 --> 00:06:35,307
Kidneys gone.
163
00:06:35,500 --> 00:06:36,500
Nein!
164
00:06:36,668 --> 00:06:38,626
Jenny, I'm sorry!
165
00:06:38,687 --> 00:06:40,628
Okay. Two espressos.
166
00:06:40,689 --> 00:06:42,929
I wrote a screenplay, Wayne.
I wrote a screenplay.
167
00:06:42,966 --> 00:06:44,632
It's 230 pages, Wayne.
168
00:06:44,693 --> 00:06:47,986
It all takes place in the basket
of a hot-air balloon, Wayne.
169
00:06:48,179 --> 00:06:50,157
-What are you waiting for?
Take my picture. Take it! -(gasps)
170
00:06:50,181 --> 00:06:51,659
Take it, take it, take it!
Take it now.
171
00:06:51,683 --> 00:06:53,325
(sips, chuckles)
172
00:06:54,570 --> 00:06:55,680
WAYNE: Holy!
173
00:06:55,704 --> 00:06:57,312
Okay, giving you the credit card
174
00:06:57,373 --> 00:06:58,453
was probably a mistake.
175
00:06:58,499 --> 00:07:00,648
Was it? (laughs)
176
00:07:00,709 --> 00:07:02,668
Yeah! Look at this.
177
00:07:05,030 --> 00:07:07,005
(door creaking)
178
00:07:07,157 --> 00:07:08,393
(monitor beeping steadily)
179
00:07:08,417 --> 00:07:11,751
Poor dumb baby.
What did I do to you?
180
00:07:11,904 --> 00:07:14,991
Just came to check on you,
'cause-'cause I feel guil...
181
00:07:15,015 --> 00:07:17,432
guil... guilty.
182
00:07:18,394 --> 00:07:19,926
?
183
00:07:20,020 --> 00:07:22,262
Oh, look at you,
laying there so vulnerable
184
00:07:22,356 --> 00:07:24,242
in the moonlight glow.
185
00:07:24,266 --> 00:07:27,008
Layin' down, your stomach
flattens out a little bit.
186
00:07:27,069 --> 00:07:31,583
I get a glimpse of the potent,
virile man you once were.
187
00:07:31,607 --> 00:07:32,698
Betty, stop it.
188
00:07:32,849 --> 00:07:34,344
What are these thoughts
you're having?
189
00:07:34,368 --> 00:07:36,869
Do not let your guilt
get you all horned-up.
190
00:07:37,037 --> 00:07:38,871
Betty? Is that Betty Hart?
191
00:07:39,064 --> 00:07:41,540
(shushing) Save your strength.
192
00:07:41,733 --> 00:07:42,933
I'll be honest, I didn't know
193
00:07:42,993 --> 00:07:44,993
if anyone would turn out
to visit me.
194
00:07:45,028 --> 00:07:48,213
I'm used to people crossing the
street to avoid this old perv.
195
00:07:48,406 --> 00:07:49,864
Bud, you know what,
196
00:07:49,967 --> 00:07:52,442
when you aren't slobbering
all over young boobies,
197
00:07:52,502 --> 00:07:53,886
you're actually kind of sweet.
198
00:07:54,079 --> 00:07:56,555
Betty, what time is it?
199
00:07:56,748 --> 00:07:58,891
- 6:30.
- Mm.
200
00:07:59,952 --> 00:08:01,538
What was that for?
201
00:08:01,562 --> 00:08:04,207
I promised myself if you
ever gave me the time of day,
202
00:08:04,231 --> 00:08:06,899
I'd kiss you
like there's no tomorrow.
203
00:08:08,460 --> 00:08:09,309
Oh, lookee there.
204
00:08:09,461 --> 00:08:13,296
The clock just struck 6:31.
205
00:08:13,398 --> 00:08:14,798
(kissing)
206
00:08:14,900 --> 00:08:17,117
(Bud and Betty laugh)
207
00:08:18,904 --> 00:08:20,782
Did you know that all matter
is merely energy
208
00:08:20,806 --> 00:08:22,133
condensed to a slow vibration
209
00:08:22,157 --> 00:08:23,918
and we are all one consciousness
210
00:08:23,942 --> 00:08:25,822
experiencing itself
subjectively?
211
00:08:25,869 --> 00:08:27,755
(gasps) Ooh, ooh, ooh!
Let's go see a movie.
212
00:08:27,779 --> 00:08:29,922
Oh, Vi, I-I don't know.
It's so late.
213
00:08:30,115 --> 00:08:31,776
Let's maybe let your mom
weigh in on this.
214
00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:32,832
Wayne, no...
215
00:08:32,985 --> 00:08:34,742
(ringing, vibrating)
216
00:08:34,803 --> 00:08:37,262
(laughing)
217
00:08:37,414 --> 00:08:38,408
You sure that's the horse
218
00:08:38,432 --> 00:08:40,112
- that bit ya?
- (snorts)
219
00:08:40,159 --> 00:08:42,492
Brenda, you don't forget
the sumbitch police horse
220
00:08:42,552 --> 00:08:45,415
who bit you
at a bachelorette party in 2012!
221
00:08:45,439 --> 00:08:47,922
Well, what are you gonna do
about it,
222
00:08:47,983 --> 00:08:50,258
write your congressman?
223
00:08:50,319 --> 00:08:51,835
(gulping)
224
00:08:51,937 --> 00:08:54,429
- (bottle shatters)
- Taste teeth, pig horse!
225
00:08:54,490 --> 00:08:56,130
- Attagirl.
- (whooping)
226
00:08:56,700 --> 00:08:58,153
- COP: Hey!
- (horse neighs)
227
00:08:58,177 --> 00:08:59,578
(groans) She's not picking up.
228
00:08:59,602 --> 00:09:01,414
Because she
so completely trusts you
229
00:09:01,438 --> 00:09:02,824
to do the right thing, Wayne.
Didn't you hear her say that?
230
00:09:02,848 --> 00:09:03,622
I heard her say that.
231
00:09:03,773 --> 00:09:05,182
Yeah, but I don't know...
232
00:09:05,242 --> 00:09:07,437
Okay. Bye-bye
to the best weekend of my life.
233
00:09:07,461 --> 00:09:09,019
Guess this Hang Zone shirt
234
00:09:09,079 --> 00:09:11,713
isn't worth the poly-cotton
blend it's printed on.
235
00:09:12,749 --> 00:09:14,040
No, you're right.
236
00:09:14,193 --> 00:09:15,801
This is the Hang Zone!
237
00:09:15,970 --> 00:09:17,930
Grab those
melted-into-a-blob Twizzlers out
238
00:09:17,954 --> 00:09:18,990
of the glove compartment.
239
00:09:19,014 --> 00:09:20,455
We're going to the dang movies!
240
00:09:20,516 --> 00:09:21,609
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
241
00:09:21,633 --> 00:09:23,809
? ?
242
00:09:31,986 --> 00:09:35,404
- (cheering)
- (pulsing dance music playing)
243
00:09:44,999 --> 00:09:47,073
Wayne, I want a nose ring!
244
00:09:47,167 --> 00:09:49,668
Violet, no. Absolutely n...
245
00:09:49,837 --> 00:09:51,055
? ?
246
00:09:51,079 --> 00:09:52,746
- (clicks)
- Hang Zone!
247
00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:54,381
Hang Zone.
248
00:09:58,512 --> 00:10:01,680
Hello? Could you shine
that spotlight down a hair?
249
00:10:01,831 --> 00:10:03,682
- (gasps)
- (jangling)
250
00:10:03,875 --> 00:10:07,761
- What the?
- All jump for the Honorable Judge David Lee Roth.
251
00:10:07,855 --> 00:10:10,689
As the bailiff,
I will be translating,
252
00:10:10,882 --> 00:10:13,859
as Judge DLR
only speaks in "whoas"
253
00:10:14,052 --> 00:10:16,419
and "bozy-bozy-bob-ditty-bops."
254
00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:17,604
Wow!
255
00:10:17,698 --> 00:10:18,698
Oh, man.
256
00:10:18,890 --> 00:10:20,343
DLR's a judge?
257
00:10:20,367 --> 00:10:22,534
(scatting)
258
00:10:22,703 --> 00:10:24,369
Ow!
259
00:10:24,521 --> 00:10:25,537
Yes.
260
00:10:25,706 --> 00:10:27,372
(scatting) Bad dad!
261
00:10:27,565 --> 00:10:29,374
(scatting) Negligence!
262
00:10:29,567 --> 00:10:31,209
Ditty-bop! Whoa!
263
00:10:31,402 --> 00:10:33,545
Witness. Ow!
264
00:10:33,738 --> 00:10:35,939
You're on trial
for gross negligence
265
00:10:35,999 --> 00:10:38,291
and for being
a piss-poor father.
266
00:10:38,385 --> 00:10:40,844
Who's our first witness?
267
00:10:41,838 --> 00:10:43,280
Violet!
268
00:10:43,340 --> 00:10:44,447
State your name.
269
00:10:44,508 --> 00:10:46,558
Whoa! Aah!
270
00:10:46,751 --> 00:10:48,376
I was once known as Violet Hart.
271
00:10:48,437 --> 00:10:50,896
But now I'm Violence Hate.
272
00:10:51,089 --> 00:10:53,209
I live on the fringe
between the cracks,
273
00:10:53,233 --> 00:10:55,400
in the seedy underbelly of...
274
00:10:55,569 --> 00:10:58,461
(scatting): What made you
this way, little ditty-bop?
275
00:10:58,522 --> 00:11:01,384
He did. I used to think
some things were sacred:
276
00:11:01,408 --> 00:11:04,301
laws, family,
Bea Arthur's musical number
277
00:11:04,402 --> 00:11:06,319
in The Star WarsHoliday Special.
278
00:11:06,471 --> 00:11:09,893
Then Wayne taught me
anything can be defiled,
279
00:11:09,917 --> 00:11:11,308
even the nose on your face.
280
00:11:11,368 --> 00:11:13,248
Thank you, Wayne,
for teaching me
281
00:11:13,295 --> 00:11:16,646
the real unsightly hole...
is society!
282
00:11:16,706 --> 00:11:17,975
Violet, no!
283
00:11:17,999 --> 00:11:20,008
Hi, guys. I'm home.
284
00:11:20,710 --> 00:11:22,647
My baby!
285
00:11:22,671 --> 00:11:26,840
Wayne, how could you
let... this... happen?
286
00:11:26,934 --> 00:11:28,992
- (gavel bangs)
- ? I-I-I-I-I-I ?
287
00:11:29,052 --> 00:11:33,921
? I declare you guilty ?
288
00:11:33,982 --> 00:11:36,182
? So guilty, so guilty! ?
289
00:11:36,276 --> 00:11:39,169
- Wayne Edwards, you're guilty.
- (gasps)
290
00:11:39,229 --> 00:11:42,592
(scatting)
291
00:11:42,616 --> 00:11:45,508
Judge DLR wants
to know what you are doing
292
00:11:45,569 --> 00:11:46,934
after the trial, honey.
293
00:11:46,995 --> 00:11:49,846
Visiting your chambers.
294
00:11:49,906 --> 00:11:51,197
(scatting)
295
00:11:51,291 --> 00:11:54,459
Wow! (speaking gibberish)
296
00:11:54,611 --> 00:11:56,870
I deserve this!
297
00:11:56,964 --> 00:11:58,338
Aah! Violet.
298
00:11:59,967 --> 00:12:01,277
Violet, you got
to take that thing out.
299
00:12:01,301 --> 00:12:03,635
Your mom's gonna kill us both,
and then
300
00:12:03,786 --> 00:12:05,782
she's gonna dig me up
and kill me again.
301
00:12:05,806 --> 00:12:07,675
It's fine, it's fun.
She's gonna love it.
302
00:12:07,699 --> 00:12:09,476
- How do you work this thing?
- There's a switch on the back.
303
00:12:09,500 --> 00:12:11,121
Nah. No! What am I doing?
304
00:12:11,145 --> 00:12:14,204
? Let's give 'em somethingto talk about ?
305
00:12:14,264 --> 00:12:16,797
Just hide that thing
until we figure out what to do.
306
00:12:16,900 --> 00:12:21,302
? How about love, love, love? ?
307
00:12:22,197 --> 00:12:24,564
You got a piercing, didn't you?
308
00:12:24,658 --> 00:12:27,679
-How did you know?
-Y'all were giving off panic pheromones
309
00:12:27,703 --> 00:12:28,972
from a mile away.
310
00:12:28,996 --> 00:12:30,849
Now Vi's got her head
in the fridge?
311
00:12:30,873 --> 00:12:33,740
Either you're trying to get
to Narnia via the Frigidaire,
312
00:12:33,834 --> 00:12:35,754
or you got something
on your face.
313
00:12:35,894 --> 00:12:38,745
And by the timb-ray of your
voice, I'm guessing nose ring.
314
00:12:38,839 --> 00:12:40,474
- (can hissing)
- Nope, you're wrong about that,
315
00:12:40,498 --> 00:12:42,674
'cause I'm just huffing
whipped cream.
316
00:12:42,867 --> 00:12:44,992
Don't you try
to Miss Doubtfire me.
317
00:12:45,053 --> 00:12:47,237
I invented that move.
318
00:12:47,339 --> 00:12:49,088
- Ugh.
- Betty, real quick.
319
00:12:49,183 --> 00:12:51,543
Can you get Jenny to get Violet
to take out her nose ring
320
00:12:51,602 --> 00:12:53,872
without realizing that
Violet even has a nose ring,
321
00:12:53,896 --> 00:12:55,870
or that I let her get it?
Please?
322
00:12:55,898 --> 00:12:58,248
I can't right now!
I'm freakin' out in love!
323
00:12:58,308 --> 00:13:00,692
- So? What's new?
- It's all new.
324
00:13:00,885 --> 00:13:02,769
He's completely wrong for me.
325
00:13:02,863 --> 00:13:04,582
Wrong time, wrong man.
326
00:13:04,606 --> 00:13:06,865
But apparently,
all these wrongs are adding up
327
00:13:07,034 --> 00:13:09,442
to something
that is oh, so right.
328
00:13:09,594 --> 00:13:12,037
Now I got to go splash
some Jean Nat� on my fun zones
329
00:13:12,230 --> 00:13:15,332
-'cause everything's moving
at lightning speed. - Oh!
330
00:13:16,868 --> 00:13:18,435
Ding-dong.
331
00:13:18,536 --> 00:13:22,196
Nurse Betty's here
to give you your tongue bath.
332
00:13:22,299 --> 00:13:24,694
There she is,
the original hottie.
333
00:13:24,718 --> 00:13:26,292
Betty, meet Tampa and Emoji.
334
00:13:26,445 --> 00:13:28,522
They're gonna take me home.
I'm getting released.
335
00:13:28,546 --> 00:13:30,055
- Hey!
- Hey!
336
00:13:30,248 --> 00:13:33,369
Okay, ring, ring. It's recess.
337
00:13:33,393 --> 00:13:34,871
All you school kids
get on out of here.
338
00:13:34,895 --> 00:13:37,395
Nurse Betty will take it
from here.
339
00:13:37,588 --> 00:13:38,879
Okay, feel better, Bud!
340
00:13:38,941 --> 00:13:40,398
You two have fun.
341
00:13:40,591 --> 00:13:42,400
(women giggle)
342
00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:44,933
How you doing, Bud?
343
00:13:45,102 --> 00:13:46,788
Ah, they got me eating
egg whites
344
00:13:46,812 --> 00:13:48,495
and salt-free chicken soup.
345
00:13:48,596 --> 00:13:51,106
It's all the worst foods
without their best part.
346
00:13:51,257 --> 00:13:53,217
Sure makes me miss
your fried chicken.
347
00:13:53,268 --> 00:13:55,335
And I missed
your Polish sausage.
348
00:13:55,437 --> 00:13:58,521
(laughing):
Oh, Betty, you are so gross.
349
00:13:58,673 --> 00:14:00,115
So are you, Bud.
350
00:14:00,308 --> 00:14:04,010
But together,
we make something beautiful.
351
00:14:04,070 --> 00:14:05,789
You know,
it's the craziest thing.
352
00:14:05,813 --> 00:14:07,325
I still can't remember
what happened
353
00:14:07,349 --> 00:14:08,848
right before my heart attacked.
354
00:14:08,908 --> 00:14:10,428
I was making a plate,
and then...
355
00:14:10,452 --> 00:14:13,110
Wait a minute.
Did I get a phone call?
356
00:14:13,171 --> 00:14:17,206
I don't know, but you're about
to get a bone call.
357
00:14:17,301 --> 00:14:19,968
Looks like I finally got
the medicine I needed.
358
00:14:20,161 --> 00:14:24,264
Ten cc's of Smoochacil
coming right up.
359
00:14:26,593 --> 00:14:29,060
Uh-uh.
360
00:14:30,814 --> 00:14:32,296
Hmm?
361
00:14:32,399 --> 00:14:34,733
(grunts)
362
00:14:40,065 --> 00:14:42,585
-(camera clicking)
-You saw how fast Betty Hart figured out what we did.
363
00:14:42,609 --> 00:14:44,826
I guarantee you
Jenny Hart is not far behind.
364
00:14:44,977 --> 00:14:48,145
She's probably having a phantom
pain in her nostril as we speak.
365
00:14:48,206 --> 00:14:50,573
Wayne, you made a decision.
366
00:14:50,667 --> 00:14:52,948
And it was the right decision
because now I love you.
367
00:14:53,003 --> 00:14:54,814
Oh, my God,
I hate being in charge. (sighs)
368
00:14:54,838 --> 00:14:57,025
I'll text Jenny and tell her
how great everything's going
369
00:14:57,049 --> 00:14:58,340
to buy us some time.
370
00:14:58,491 --> 00:14:59,749
"Dear Jenny..."
371
00:14:59,901 --> 00:15:01,178
- (ringing)
- Ah, shoot! I hit FaceTime!
372
00:15:01,202 --> 00:15:03,160
- Just hang up.
- Oh, I can't.
373
00:15:03,221 --> 00:15:04,866
She'll think something's up.
Cover your face!
374
00:15:04,890 --> 00:15:06,681
(all whooping, laughing)
375
00:15:06,874 --> 00:15:08,141
(snoring)
376
00:15:09,770 --> 00:15:12,111
Crap! Wayne wants to FaceTime.
377
00:15:13,190 --> 00:15:15,431
I'm on my way home.
We're getting the check.
378
00:15:15,525 --> 00:15:17,170
Everything's fine
on our end, too.
379
00:15:17,194 --> 00:15:19,194
Don't you worry.
Just stay and have fun.
380
00:15:19,237 --> 00:15:23,347
Violet's just drinking coffee,
or... juice out of a mug.
381
00:15:23,408 --> 00:15:25,775
Which is how she likes it.
Isn't that right?
382
00:15:25,869 --> 00:15:27,351
Yeah. Orange juice-y.
383
00:15:27,412 --> 00:15:29,515
Great. I'm sober
and my eyes are open.
384
00:15:29,539 --> 00:15:30,855
(imitates static)
385
00:15:30,916 --> 00:15:34,876
Whoa! Bad connection,
I guess. Bye.
386
00:15:39,740 --> 00:15:41,194
I'm proud of you, Bud.
387
00:15:41,218 --> 00:15:44,052
Following doctor's orders,
eating all healthy.
388
00:15:44,245 --> 00:15:46,148
I'll tell you,
it is weird to be attracted
389
00:15:46,172 --> 00:15:47,722
to someone I do not employ.
390
00:15:47,915 --> 00:15:51,968
Oh, look who got that wrap dress
I wanted.
391
00:15:52,104 --> 00:15:55,063
I would have purchased it,
but someone called me
392
00:15:55,256 --> 00:15:58,233
when I was at checkout
and said my house was on fire.
393
00:15:58,402 --> 00:16:00,282
Ha. Well,
it was nice seeing you.
394
00:16:00,404 --> 00:16:03,630
It's Betty's
go-to move, you know.
395
00:16:03,690 --> 00:16:05,073
What?!
396
00:16:05,266 --> 00:16:07,283
Your filthy strip club
is on fire!
397
00:16:08,570 --> 00:16:11,079
Oh, no, no, no.
I-I remember it now.
398
00:16:11,272 --> 00:16:13,893
That call I got right before
my heart attacked...
399
00:16:13,917 --> 00:16:16,418
- That was you!
- (gasps) I can explain.
400
00:16:16,611 --> 00:16:18,139
That's why
you're-you're here with me?
401
00:16:18,163 --> 00:16:19,495
'Cause you feel guilty?
402
00:16:19,648 --> 00:16:22,740
No! I-I... I mean,
at first, maybe I did.
403
00:16:22,801 --> 00:16:25,318
But then I fell for you,
Bud, for real.
404
00:16:25,378 --> 00:16:28,078
Oh, I don't care
about stuff like this.
405
00:16:28,140 --> 00:16:30,723
I'm a pervert
and that's all I am.
406
00:16:32,051 --> 00:16:33,935
- (door closes)
- Oops.
407
00:16:34,128 --> 00:16:36,587
- Bud, wait!
- Wait! You haven't paid!
408
00:16:36,648 --> 00:16:39,332
Your manager just told me
that your house is on fire.
409
00:16:39,434 --> 00:16:41,359
Oh, no!
410
00:16:46,432 --> 00:16:48,619
I'm home! Hope you guys
didn't get into any trouble,
411
00:16:48,643 --> 00:16:50,176
'cause I sure didn't. Ha.
412
00:16:50,236 --> 00:16:52,787
(hiccups)
That wasn't... anything.
413
00:16:52,980 --> 00:16:55,531
Well, our weekend
was great, too.
414
00:16:55,684 --> 00:16:58,367
So fun and just good clean,
responsible fun.
415
00:16:58,503 --> 00:16:59,847
Oh, I did go kind of crazy
416
00:16:59,871 --> 00:17:01,607
and get all these piercings.
(laughs)
417
00:17:01,631 --> 00:17:04,299
Is that the craziest thing
you've ever seen in your life?
418
00:17:04,492 --> 00:17:06,968
Ha-ha, yup!
There's no topping this one.
419
00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:08,452
Oh, and Violet pierced her nose.
420
00:17:08,513 --> 00:17:11,214
Anyway, maybe I'll regret it,
maybe I won't.
421
00:17:11,366 --> 00:17:14,033
Just life. That's all.
Life decisions.
422
00:17:14,093 --> 00:17:16,202
(grunts) Okay. Geez.
423
00:17:16,262 --> 00:17:17,962
Wow. Well,
424
00:17:18,064 --> 00:17:20,190
I'm gonna go lay down
for 8,000 hours.
425
00:17:22,027 --> 00:17:24,894
Oh, my God,
did that actually...?
426
00:17:24,988 --> 00:17:28,375
-Violet, did you pierce your freaking nose?!
-(both gasp)
427
00:17:28,399 --> 00:17:30,178
And, Wayne, did you glue
some fishing tackle
428
00:17:30,202 --> 00:17:32,046
and hairpins on your face
to try and distract me?
429
00:17:32,070 --> 00:17:33,978
Jenny, you don't understand.
430
00:17:34,039 --> 00:17:36,405
We were in the
Hang Zone Extreme Zone.
431
00:17:36,558 --> 00:17:38,186
A nose ring?!
You know what, Wayne?
432
00:17:38,210 --> 00:17:40,243
These aren't your decisions
to make.
433
00:17:40,395 --> 00:17:42,005
Lucky you, you-you get
to swoop in here
434
00:17:42,029 --> 00:17:44,397
and do the fun stuff
'cause you're not her dad.
435
00:17:44,457 --> 00:17:45,726
(groans)
436
00:17:45,750 --> 00:17:47,250
I'll take care of this.
437
00:17:47,344 --> 00:17:49,844
You just go hang out
in the Fun Zone or whatever.
438
00:17:50,037 --> 00:17:52,037
And I'm gonna need
my bob pins back!
439
00:17:52,073 --> 00:17:53,330
(door closes)
440
00:17:53,391 --> 00:17:55,833
JENNY: Here's what's happening.
441
00:17:55,936 --> 00:17:57,371
Violet, you're grounded
till you're 38.
442
00:17:57,395 --> 00:17:59,040
Now get your bedazzled
little honker
443
00:17:59,064 --> 00:18:02,357
in your room until I say
you can come out. Now!
444
00:18:03,568 --> 00:18:05,175
All right, give it to me, too.
445
00:18:05,237 --> 00:18:07,195
I deserve it.
Read me the riot act.
446
00:18:07,364 --> 00:18:09,416
No, you are not gonna get me
to not lay into you
447
00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:11,177
by playing like you want me
to lay into you.
448
00:18:11,201 --> 00:18:12,828
- What?
- I don't know.
449
00:18:12,852 --> 00:18:14,180
I can't even look at you
right now.
450
00:18:14,204 --> 00:18:15,928
I'm so frustrated and hungover.
451
00:18:16,030 --> 00:18:19,541
Just never make a decision
about Violet ever again.
452
00:18:19,734 --> 00:18:21,876
(sighs)
453
00:18:22,996 --> 00:18:25,454
(pulsing dance music playing)
454
00:18:25,549 --> 00:18:27,924
? ?
455
00:18:28,718 --> 00:18:30,293
Stop the music!
456
00:18:30,387 --> 00:18:32,467
- (music stops)
- Shame on you, Betty Hart.
457
00:18:32,538 --> 00:18:34,367
Playing with a man's emotions
like that.
458
00:18:34,391 --> 00:18:37,725
And not even for money.
You're disgusting!
459
00:18:37,918 --> 00:18:39,727
He's a mess, thanks to you.
460
00:18:39,896 --> 00:18:41,541
Girls, what happened
to the music?
461
00:18:41,565 --> 00:18:43,565
Oh. Hello, Betty.
462
00:18:43,733 --> 00:18:46,901
- Can we talk?
- Hmm. Hmm.
463
00:18:49,722 --> 00:18:51,297
Bud, it's true.
464
00:18:51,399 --> 00:18:54,387
I did make that call saying
your club was ablaze.
465
00:18:54,411 --> 00:18:56,889
- But I'm not gonna say
I'm sorry. - Uh, what?
466
00:18:56,913 --> 00:18:58,955
'Cause it brought me
into your life.
467
00:19:00,834 --> 00:19:04,310
Aw, Betty, you broke my heart,
and that's how I know it's real.
468
00:19:04,370 --> 00:19:07,755
I promise
to never break your heart again.
469
00:19:07,948 --> 00:19:09,215
Get in here.
470
00:19:11,469 --> 00:19:13,428
Mmm. Oh, Betty, yeah.
471
00:19:13,621 --> 00:19:14,929
Mmm, mmm. Oh, Bet...
472
00:19:15,098 --> 00:19:16,764
Oh. Oh, God! My heart!
473
00:19:16,957 --> 00:19:19,583
Emoji, call 911!
474
00:19:19,644 --> 00:19:21,585
(dog barking)
475
00:19:21,646 --> 00:19:22,937
Oh, I thought you left.
476
00:19:23,130 --> 00:19:24,922
I'm not leaving you here alone.
477
00:19:24,983 --> 00:19:28,000
You're grounded.
Now, get back in your room.
478
00:19:28,061 --> 00:19:29,444
Can I just get a snack?
479
00:19:29,637 --> 00:19:30,778
I guess.
480
00:19:30,971 --> 00:19:33,281
- Whoa!
- What?
481
00:19:33,474 --> 00:19:35,428
You look like
a punk-rock Rudolph.
482
00:19:35,452 --> 00:19:37,935
Which I know sounds awesome,
but trust me, it's not.
483
00:19:37,996 --> 00:19:39,695
Ow! No, don't touch it.
484
00:19:39,831 --> 00:19:41,122
It's how it's supposed to look.
485
00:19:41,315 --> 00:19:43,683
No. It's definitely infected.
486
00:19:43,743 --> 00:19:45,518
We're going to the doctor.
487
00:19:45,578 --> 00:19:47,036
If you take me to the doctor,
488
00:19:47,188 --> 00:19:49,428
I am never stepping foot
in the Hang Zone again.
489
00:19:49,490 --> 00:19:51,040
Welp, nice knowing you.
490
00:19:51,192 --> 00:19:52,467
(distant siren wailing)
491
00:19:52,618 --> 00:19:54,043
(chime over P.A.)
492
00:19:54,137 --> 00:19:56,954
Can you help us?
I think her nose is infected.
493
00:19:57,015 --> 00:19:59,015
Oh, yeah, we need
to get on that quick.
494
00:19:59,125 --> 00:20:00,620
Okay, Dad, we just need you
to fill out these forms,
495
00:20:00,644 --> 00:20:02,071
- and we'll get her on back.
- (Violet yells)
496
00:20:02,095 --> 00:20:03,552
Well, I'm... (sighs)
497
00:20:03,705 --> 00:20:05,366
I'm not exactly her father.
498
00:20:05,390 --> 00:20:08,391
Oh. Well, we're gonna need
to speak to a legal guardian.
499
00:20:08,485 --> 00:20:10,634
(sighs)
500
00:20:10,695 --> 00:20:13,212
(phone rings, vibrates)
501
00:20:13,272 --> 00:20:16,377
Jenny, I'm at the hospital
with Violet. She's fine.
502
00:20:16,401 --> 00:20:17,975
But her nose is infected.
503
00:20:18,036 --> 00:20:19,788
They're gonna patch her up,
but they want
504
00:20:19,812 --> 00:20:21,070
to talk to a legal guardian.
505
00:20:21,164 --> 00:20:24,143
- Mom, my nose is fine!
- Your nose is not fine!
506
00:20:24,167 --> 00:20:26,150
Jenny, I know
I'm not her bio dad,
507
00:20:26,211 --> 00:20:28,722
but I love her like a dad,
and I want to take care of her
508
00:20:28,746 --> 00:20:31,651
like a dad, and this nose ring
is coming out now!
509
00:20:31,675 --> 00:20:34,324
Wayne, you're the suckiest
person in the world.
510
00:20:34,386 --> 00:20:36,493
Wait, Violet.
What did you just call him?
511
00:20:36,604 --> 00:20:38,574
The suckiest person
in the whole world.
512
00:20:38,598 --> 00:20:40,551
Okay, well,
if you're saying Wayne sucks,
513
00:20:40,575 --> 00:20:42,703
then I know he's doing
something right parent-wise.
514
00:20:42,727 --> 00:20:44,501
Point the phone at the nurse.
515
00:20:44,562 --> 00:20:46,095
I'm listening.
516
00:20:46,189 --> 00:20:50,340
I can confirm
Wayne is officially a dad now.
517
00:20:50,402 --> 00:20:51,767
(rapid beeping)
518
00:20:51,903 --> 00:20:54,821
Lord, forgive me.
I did it again, y'all.
519
00:21:00,203 --> 00:21:03,687
I'd like to propose a toast:
to healing, both relationships
520
00:21:03,748 --> 00:21:05,614
- and noses.
- Violet,
521
00:21:05,709 --> 00:21:07,878
I still can't believe you would
defile your body like that.
522
00:21:07,902 --> 00:21:12,046
You can't just go crazy and go
wherever your impulses take you.
523
00:21:12,239 --> 00:21:14,959
- Whoops!
- Here, let me help you with those.
524
00:21:15,001 --> 00:21:16,959
Mom! Did you...?
525
00:21:17,053 --> 00:21:19,462
Okay, I can explain.
526
00:21:19,614 --> 00:21:22,443
Jenny Hart, what the hell
have you done to your body?
527
00:21:22,467 --> 00:21:25,226
Okay, this is totally different.
I am an adult,
528
00:21:25,419 --> 00:21:28,971
and this is a very classy and
understated artistic expression
529
00:21:29,065 --> 00:21:31,065
that the Brendas
dared me to get.
530
00:21:31,217 --> 00:21:33,045
- (meows)
- (horn honks musically)39140
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