All language subtitles for Seinfeld-611-The Label Maker.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 0 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,000 Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org 1 00:00:03,470 --> 00:00:06,064 Loyalty to any one sports team is pretty hard to justify... 2 00:00:06,239 --> 00:00:09,037 ...because the players are always changing. The team can move. 3 00:00:09,209 --> 00:00:12,337 You're actually rooting for the clothes when you get right down to it. 4 00:00:12,512 --> 00:00:15,072 I mean, you are standing and cheering and yelling... 5 00:00:15,248 --> 00:00:18,615 ...for your clothes to beat the clothes from another city. 6 00:00:18,785 --> 00:00:20,548 Fans will be so in love with a player... 7 00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:23,689 ...but if he goes to another team, they boo him. 8 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:26,189 This is the same human being in a different shirt. 9 00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:27,587 They hate him now. 10 00:00:27,761 --> 00:00:29,558 Boo. 11 00:00:29,729 --> 00:00:31,720 Different shirt. 12 00:00:31,898 --> 00:00:34,366 Boo. 13 00:00:37,637 --> 00:00:39,070 Sure you don't want the tickets? 14 00:00:39,239 --> 00:00:41,104 - No. - I can't believe I'm having trouble... 15 00:00:41,274 --> 00:00:44,573 ...getting rid of Super Bowl tickets. - I'm telling you, skip the wedding. 16 00:00:44,744 --> 00:00:45,972 - Go to the game. - I can't. 17 00:00:46,146 --> 00:00:47,704 The Drake put me in the wedding party. 18 00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:50,281 Well, who schedules his wedding on Super Bowl Sunday? 19 00:00:50,483 --> 00:00:52,974 - Maybe he didn't know. - Let me see. 20 00:00:53,153 --> 00:00:56,122 I can't believe you got these for free. What? Row F? 21 00:00:56,289 --> 00:00:57,517 Row F. 22 00:00:57,690 --> 00:01:00,215 In front of the G's. Hobnobbing with the D's and E's. 23 00:01:00,794 --> 00:01:03,354 - How about Kramer or Elaine? - Elaine laughed at me. 24 00:01:03,530 --> 00:01:05,395 Kramer's interested in Canadian football. 25 00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:08,159 Well, wish I could help you. 26 00:01:08,334 --> 00:01:10,996 Come on, take them. You could take Bonnie. 27 00:01:11,171 --> 00:01:13,605 You paying my hotel and airfare to Miami? 28 00:01:13,773 --> 00:01:15,764 - What do you think? - In order to use these... 29 00:01:15,942 --> 00:01:17,705 ...I gotta spend, like, 1500 bucks. 30 00:01:17,877 --> 00:01:20,072 This is a bill for $ 1500. 31 00:01:20,647 --> 00:01:22,774 Plus, she'd ask about the sleeping arrangements. 32 00:01:22,949 --> 00:01:25,281 I find sleeping-arrangement conversations depressing. 33 00:01:25,452 --> 00:01:26,976 Yeah. Sleeping arrangements. 34 00:01:27,153 --> 00:01:29,087 - So you haven't...? - Oh, no, no, no. 35 00:01:29,255 --> 00:01:32,452 I haven't even seen her apartment yet. Tomorrow night's the first night. 36 00:01:32,625 --> 00:01:34,183 Hey, hey. Is that Tim Whatley? 37 00:01:34,661 --> 00:01:36,788 - The dentist? - Is he mad at you for crashing... 38 00:01:36,963 --> 00:01:39,454 ...his Thanksgiving party? - No. I explained it to him. 39 00:01:39,632 --> 00:01:40,997 - He was fine with it. - Oh, good. 40 00:01:41,167 --> 00:01:42,964 Yeah. I blamed it on you. 41 00:01:43,136 --> 00:01:45,104 - Hi, Tim. - Hey, Jerry. 42 00:01:45,271 --> 00:01:46,966 George. What are you up to? 43 00:01:47,140 --> 00:01:50,007 Oh, just a couple gals out on the town, shopping and gabbing. 44 00:01:50,176 --> 00:01:51,666 I'm getting a makeover. 45 00:01:53,012 --> 00:01:54,946 Hey, how'd you like to go to the Super Bowl? 46 00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:58,380 - What, are you kidding? - Here. Two tickets. Have a good time. 47 00:01:59,486 --> 00:02:01,977 How can I thank you? I'll take you to dinner sometime. 48 00:02:02,155 --> 00:02:04,988 - You ever been to Mendy's? - No. No, no. No dinner. 49 00:02:06,693 --> 00:02:09,594 Tim, you didn't have to get me a thank-you gift. 50 00:02:09,762 --> 00:02:12,196 I know. It's a label maker. 51 00:02:12,365 --> 00:02:15,266 The Label Baby Junior. 52 00:02:15,635 --> 00:02:17,660 Yeah, I hear they're good. 53 00:02:17,837 --> 00:02:20,704 Well, label me thankful. 54 00:02:21,207 --> 00:02:23,539 Okay. Well, you enjoy those tickets. 55 00:02:23,710 --> 00:02:25,507 Bye-bye. 56 00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:29,508 Yeah? 57 00:02:29,682 --> 00:02:31,582 Come in. 58 00:02:32,952 --> 00:02:34,283 Hey, where can I put this? 59 00:02:34,454 --> 00:02:35,853 - What is it? - It's Risk, Jerry. 60 00:02:36,022 --> 00:02:39,014 The game of world conquest. 61 00:02:41,895 --> 00:02:45,331 - All right, that's perfect. - Kramer, why do you have to...? 62 00:02:46,032 --> 00:02:48,227 Hello, Newman. 63 00:02:49,135 --> 00:02:51,399 Hello, Jerry. Will he take it? I gotta go to work. 64 00:02:51,571 --> 00:02:52,868 - Take what? - The board, Jerry. 65 00:02:53,039 --> 00:02:55,872 We've been playing at Newmars for six hours, but he's gotta go. 66 00:02:56,042 --> 00:02:58,840 - Why not leave it at Newmars? - I wanted to. He won't let me. 67 00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:03,574 We have to put the board in a neutral place where no one will tamper with it. 68 00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:07,709 - So that's here? - Yes, yes. You're like Switzerland. 69 00:03:07,887 --> 00:03:10,412 I don't wanna be Switzerland. 70 00:03:10,590 --> 00:03:14,526 Jerry, Newman and I are engaged in an epic struggle for world domination. 71 00:03:14,694 --> 00:03:18,221 It's winner take all. People cannot be trusted. 72 00:03:18,398 --> 00:03:22,357 - Don't look at me. - I'm looking right at you, big daddy. 73 00:03:23,636 --> 00:03:26,127 - All right, soldier boys. Let's fall out. - Yeah. 74 00:03:26,306 --> 00:03:28,604 - All right, you're gonna look after it? - Yeah, yeah. 75 00:03:28,775 --> 00:03:30,572 - Stay strong. Watch it good. - Yeah. Okay. 76 00:03:30,743 --> 00:03:32,370 - Hey, hey. - Hey. Hey. 77 00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:33,773 Hey. 78 00:03:33,980 --> 00:03:36,642 - Oh, is that a label maker? - Yes, it is. I got it as a gift. 79 00:03:36,816 --> 00:03:39,478 It's a Label Baby Junior. 80 00:03:39,652 --> 00:03:41,552 Love the Label Baby, baby. 81 00:03:42,155 --> 00:03:43,884 You know, those things make great gifts. 82 00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:46,116 I just got one for Tim Whatley for Christmas. 83 00:03:46,793 --> 00:03:49,887 - Tim Whatley? - Yeah. Who sent you that one? 84 00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:51,963 One Tim Whatley. 85 00:03:52,699 --> 00:03:54,564 No. My Tim Whatley? 86 00:03:54,734 --> 00:03:58,363 The same. He sent it as a thank you for my Super Bowl tickets. 87 00:03:58,671 --> 00:04:00,901 I think this is the same one I gave him. 88 00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:03,542 He recycled this gift. 89 00:04:03,710 --> 00:04:05,177 He's a re-gifter. 90 00:04:05,979 --> 00:04:10,643 Or maybe he liked your gift so much, he decided to get me the same thing. 91 00:04:10,817 --> 00:04:12,512 Perhaps it's an homage. 92 00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:14,283 Yeah, perhaps. 93 00:04:14,454 --> 00:04:17,116 Well, how did he react when you gave it to him? 94 00:04:17,290 --> 00:04:22,023 He said, "Oh, a label maker. How about that." 95 00:04:22,195 --> 00:04:25,130 - He repeated the name of the gift? - Yeah. So? 96 00:04:25,298 --> 00:04:28,358 Well, if you repeat the name of the gift, you can't possibly like it. 97 00:04:28,534 --> 00:04:29,762 What do you mean? 98 00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:31,801 Like when someone opens something and goes: 99 00:04:31,971 --> 00:04:34,337 "Oh, tube socks." 100 00:04:34,507 --> 00:04:36,168 - What are you gonna do? - I don't know. 101 00:04:36,342 --> 00:04:38,708 I guess I'll just get invited up to his apartment... 102 00:04:38,878 --> 00:04:42,109 ...and see if he's got a label maker. - Why did you get him a gift? 103 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,443 He did some dental work for me and didn't charge. 104 00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:46,175 So I got him a Christmas present. 105 00:04:46,352 --> 00:04:49,583 Yeah, well, if you're getting him anything for his birthday, I'm a large. 106 00:04:54,260 --> 00:04:57,525 Well, here we are. This is the place. 107 00:04:59,265 --> 00:05:00,527 You like it? 108 00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:03,635 I love it. This is fantastic. 109 00:05:03,803 --> 00:05:06,294 Look at this couch. Is this velvet? 110 00:05:06,472 --> 00:05:07,700 Are you a velvet fan? 111 00:05:07,874 --> 00:05:09,432 A fan? 112 00:05:09,609 --> 00:05:13,841 I would drape myself in velvet if it were socially acceptable. 113 00:05:14,013 --> 00:05:16,538 Look at this. Hardwood floors. 114 00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:20,316 Arert they great? Oh, Scott, hi. 115 00:05:20,486 --> 00:05:21,714 This is George. 116 00:05:21,888 --> 00:05:24,015 - Nice to meet you. - This is Scott, my roommate. 117 00:05:27,493 --> 00:05:30,018 - Hey. - Here. Check out this view. 118 00:05:30,196 --> 00:05:32,960 If you lean out this window, you can see the river. 119 00:05:37,637 --> 00:05:39,070 So Scott's your roommate, huh? 120 00:05:39,972 --> 00:05:42,566 Yes. I'm sure I've mentioned him. 121 00:05:42,742 --> 00:05:44,607 No, I don't think you mentioned him, no. 122 00:05:45,411 --> 00:05:47,379 He's a great guy. You'll really like him. 123 00:05:47,547 --> 00:05:49,276 I'm sure I will. 124 00:05:50,983 --> 00:05:53,850 - Male roommate. - Yes, a male roommate. 125 00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:57,183 - And this is a problem? - It's a huge problem, Jerry. 126 00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,484 The hardest part about having sex with a woman... 127 00:05:59,659 --> 00:06:03,254 ...is getting her to come back to your place. He's already got that. 128 00:06:03,429 --> 00:06:06,523 - Well, maybe he's... - No, believe me, he's not. 129 00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:08,997 - So he's an eligible receiver. - Right. 130 00:06:09,168 --> 00:06:11,159 She's confiding in him about our dates. 131 00:06:11,337 --> 00:06:14,568 You always like the person you talk to about the date more than the date. 132 00:06:14,741 --> 00:06:17,938 It's just a matter of time until they realize, "Hey, we could have sex." 133 00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:19,339 - What's stopping them? - Exactly. 134 00:06:19,512 --> 00:06:21,446 You know how they get animals to reproduce? 135 00:06:21,614 --> 00:06:24,174 They just put them in the same cage. 136 00:06:24,951 --> 00:06:27,112 - What does he look like? - That's the worst part. 137 00:06:27,286 --> 00:06:29,277 He looks just like me. 138 00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:32,555 He looks like you, and he's working from the inside? 139 00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:34,852 I look like me, and I'm working from the outside. 140 00:06:35,027 --> 00:06:38,053 - Who is in the better position? - Not you. 141 00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:40,165 This bizarre Harrad Experiment must end. 142 00:06:40,333 --> 00:06:41,994 We'll take our check, please. 143 00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:45,465 I gotta find a way to work this out. I love that apartment. 144 00:06:45,638 --> 00:06:48,072 It's so cozy. I'm ensconced in velvet. 145 00:06:50,009 --> 00:06:51,874 - Lf it was socially acceptable... - I know. 146 00:06:52,044 --> 00:06:55,070 You would drape yourself in velvet. 147 00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:56,840 - I've said that before? - Many times. 148 00:06:57,016 --> 00:06:58,984 You love velvet. You wanna live in velvet. 149 00:06:59,152 --> 00:07:01,086 Everything with the velvet. 150 00:07:01,687 --> 00:07:03,382 - Hey. - Hey. 151 00:07:03,556 --> 00:07:04,784 Guess what. 152 00:07:04,957 --> 00:07:07,687 - I saw Newman talking to the super. - So what? 153 00:07:07,860 --> 00:07:10,192 The super has keys to your apartment. 154 00:07:10,363 --> 00:07:11,853 Don't you see what's going on? 155 00:07:12,031 --> 00:07:14,693 Newman is planning a sneak attack. 156 00:07:14,867 --> 00:07:16,528 Oh, maybe he's got no hot water. 157 00:07:16,702 --> 00:07:19,136 Yeah. All right, fine. You sit there and you watch... 158 00:07:19,305 --> 00:07:22,604 ...while Newman takes over the world, but he'd be a horrible leader. 159 00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:25,073 And you know who's gonna suffer? The little people. 160 00:07:25,244 --> 00:07:26,677 You and George. 161 00:07:26,846 --> 00:07:29,610 - Are you through? - All right. Fine. 162 00:07:30,416 --> 00:07:31,906 I talked to Arthur Jobania. 163 00:07:32,084 --> 00:07:34,678 - The Drake's wedding. That's off. - The wedding is off? 164 00:07:34,854 --> 00:07:36,219 - What happened? - The Drake... 165 00:07:36,389 --> 00:07:40,120 ...he found out that the wedding is on the same day as the Super Bowl. 166 00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:41,658 So he wanted to postpone it. 167 00:07:41,828 --> 00:07:45,992 They got in a big argument and... it's over. 168 00:07:49,535 --> 00:07:51,730 The wedding is off. You can go to the Super Bowl. 169 00:07:51,904 --> 00:07:54,099 I can't call Tim and ask for the tickets back. 170 00:07:54,273 --> 00:07:56,434 You just gave them to him two days ago. 171 00:07:56,609 --> 00:07:58,406 He's gotta give you a grace period. 172 00:07:58,578 --> 00:08:02,776 Are you even vaguely familiar with the concept of giving? 173 00:08:03,115 --> 00:08:05,242 There's no grace period. 174 00:08:07,119 --> 00:08:09,087 Well, didn't he re-gift the label maker? 175 00:08:09,255 --> 00:08:11,621 - Possibly. - Well, if he can re-gift... 176 00:08:11,791 --> 00:08:14,089 ...why can't you de-gift? 177 00:08:15,628 --> 00:08:18,062 - You may have a point. - I have a point. I have a point. 178 00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:21,197 - All right, I'll call him. - Yeah. 179 00:08:21,367 --> 00:08:23,130 - What's that? - Oh, it's Risk. 180 00:08:23,302 --> 00:08:25,031 It's a game of world domination... 181 00:08:25,204 --> 00:08:28,071 ...being played by two guys who can barely run their own lives. 182 00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:33,303 Hello, Tim? Yeah, hi, it's Jerry Seinfeld. 183 00:08:33,479 --> 00:08:35,174 Hey, remember those tickets I gave you? 184 00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:37,578 Well, it turns out I can use them. 185 00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:40,048 Oh, you do? I understand. 186 00:08:40,219 --> 00:08:42,050 Okay. Bye. 187 00:08:42,221 --> 00:08:44,155 He already made plans. He can't change them. 188 00:08:44,323 --> 00:08:45,551 Well, they're his tickets. 189 00:08:45,725 --> 00:08:48,250 - He can do what he wants with them. - Thanks. 190 00:08:48,427 --> 00:08:51,089 - I'm heading over to Bonnie's. - What about the roommate? 191 00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:53,858 I gotta try and figure out a way to switch places with him. 192 00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:56,866 It's like a Siegfried & Roy trick. 193 00:08:57,036 --> 00:08:58,560 The pickle breath is a good start. 194 00:09:04,911 --> 00:09:07,243 Hello, Jerry. May I come in? 195 00:09:07,413 --> 00:09:09,347 What do you want? 196 00:09:09,515 --> 00:09:11,142 Nothing. 197 00:09:13,019 --> 00:09:15,112 Just being neighborly. 198 00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:17,288 You wanna hang out? Shoot the breeze? 199 00:09:17,456 --> 00:09:20,084 I won't let you cheat. You're not getting near that board. 200 00:09:20,259 --> 00:09:22,386 Jerry, I'm a little insulted. 201 00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:25,087 You're not a little anything, Newman. 202 00:09:25,264 --> 00:09:27,255 So just pack it up and move it out of here. 203 00:09:27,433 --> 00:09:29,196 All right. 204 00:09:29,368 --> 00:09:31,802 Oh, by the way, what are you doing for the Super Bowl? 205 00:09:31,971 --> 00:09:34,337 I don't know. Watch it on TV, I guess. Why? 206 00:09:34,507 --> 00:09:36,441 If you watch closely, you just might see me. 207 00:09:36,609 --> 00:09:39,772 I'll be the one waving to the camera from my seat on the 40-yard line. 208 00:09:39,946 --> 00:09:41,607 - You're going to the Super Bowl? - Yes. 209 00:09:41,781 --> 00:09:44,579 A guy on my mail route got a couple tickets and offered me one. 210 00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:46,445 - What's his name? - Tim Whatley. 211 00:09:46,619 --> 00:09:47,984 That's my ticket. 212 00:09:48,154 --> 00:09:50,054 Is it? 213 00:09:50,523 --> 00:09:51,751 Well, if only you'd known... 214 00:09:51,924 --> 00:09:56,054 ...you could have saved some time and given it directly to me. 215 00:09:58,631 --> 00:10:00,326 Newman. 216 00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:03,762 What a movie. Good choice. 217 00:10:03,936 --> 00:10:08,873 - Thank Scott. He recommended it. - Oh, Scott, Scott. 218 00:10:09,041 --> 00:10:10,702 He's really great, isn't he? 219 00:10:10,876 --> 00:10:13,811 - Yes, he is. - Yes, he is. 220 00:10:14,947 --> 00:10:16,972 Let me ask you something. 221 00:10:18,017 --> 00:10:20,451 When you come out of the shower and put your robe on... 222 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:23,111 ...do you cinch it tight? Are you concerned about that? 223 00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:25,484 George. 224 00:10:25,658 --> 00:10:27,091 Do you hold the neck together... 225 00:10:27,259 --> 00:10:30,251 ...or are you just letting it flap in the breeze? 226 00:10:30,930 --> 00:10:33,524 George, you're being ridiculous. 227 00:10:35,768 --> 00:10:38,328 What's the massage situation? 228 00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:41,402 - What do you mean? - Is there any work being done? 229 00:10:41,574 --> 00:10:45,510 Is there any rubbing, touching, finger manipulation on the other person? 230 00:10:45,678 --> 00:10:48,340 And if so, who is making the request? 231 00:10:48,514 --> 00:10:52,280 George, would you just stop. 232 00:10:54,253 --> 00:10:57,484 Say you go into the bathroom at 2:00 in the morning. 233 00:10:57,723 --> 00:11:01,784 What's the outfit? I mean, are you dressing up, or is it come as you are? 234 00:11:01,961 --> 00:11:05,055 - George, what is wrong with you? - I'll tell you what's wrong. 235 00:11:05,231 --> 00:11:07,563 A grown woman with a male roommate. 236 00:11:07,733 --> 00:11:10,600 It's unnatural. It's an abomination. 237 00:11:11,771 --> 00:11:12,999 - Hey. - Hey. 238 00:11:13,172 --> 00:11:14,662 - How you doing? - I'm good. 239 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:17,274 Do you need the bathroom? I'm gonna jump in the shower. 240 00:11:17,443 --> 00:11:20,241 No. Just throw my bras out of the way. 241 00:11:23,149 --> 00:11:26,084 Well, this is my building. 242 00:11:26,252 --> 00:11:28,243 Yes, it is. 243 00:11:28,421 --> 00:11:30,719 - This was fun, you know? - Yeah. 244 00:11:32,258 --> 00:11:34,317 So... 245 00:11:34,493 --> 00:11:37,121 ...I guess I'll talk to you. 246 00:11:37,296 --> 00:11:39,594 Arert you gonna invite me upstairs? 247 00:11:39,765 --> 00:11:41,858 Upstairs? You wanna go upstairs? 248 00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:44,298 I would love to go upstairs. 249 00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:49,266 Elaine, you are something else. 250 00:11:49,442 --> 00:11:51,307 No one could ever put a label on you, huh? 251 00:11:51,477 --> 00:11:52,876 We'll see. 252 00:11:56,282 --> 00:11:58,944 Newman. He's going with Newman. 253 00:11:59,118 --> 00:12:00,881 How does Tim Whatley even know Newman? 254 00:12:01,053 --> 00:12:02,543 Newmars his mailman. 255 00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:05,452 Who goes to the Super Bowl with their mailman? 256 00:12:05,624 --> 00:12:08,058 Who goes anywhere with Newman? 257 00:12:09,028 --> 00:12:12,225 Well, he's merry. 258 00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:14,764 He is merry. I'll give him that. 259 00:12:14,934 --> 00:12:16,401 What's this plant for? 260 00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:19,561 Oh, I had a little tiff with Bonnie about the roommate. 261 00:12:20,506 --> 00:12:22,406 Well, the cactus will smooth things over. 262 00:12:22,942 --> 00:12:24,432 Hey. Guess what. 263 00:12:24,610 --> 00:12:28,410 I'm going to the Super Bowl with Tim Whatley. 264 00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:30,071 - What? - We went out for coffee... 265 00:12:30,249 --> 00:12:33,082 ...and he offered me a ticket. - But what about the label maker? 266 00:12:34,353 --> 00:12:35,945 Well. 267 00:12:36,122 --> 00:12:38,556 Wait a minute. That's my ticket. You didn't wanna go. 268 00:12:38,724 --> 00:12:40,089 It was totally out of the blue. 269 00:12:40,259 --> 00:12:43,092 We went upstairs to his apartment to look for the label maker... 270 00:12:43,262 --> 00:12:45,526 How? Did you say you had to use the bathroom? 271 00:12:45,698 --> 00:12:48,428 - No. - Then how did you get up there? 272 00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:51,661 - I said, "Do you wanna go upstairs?" - And there's your ticket. 273 00:12:51,837 --> 00:12:53,498 - Well. - What? 274 00:12:53,672 --> 00:12:55,936 That's why you're going to the Super Bowl. 275 00:12:56,108 --> 00:12:59,373 - Why? - You go out with a guy one time. 276 00:12:59,545 --> 00:13:03,174 You ask him to go upstairs like you're Mae West. 277 00:13:03,349 --> 00:13:05,943 Of course he's gonna try and get you alone for the weekend. 278 00:13:06,118 --> 00:13:08,382 You mean just because I asked him to go upstairs... 279 00:13:08,554 --> 00:13:12,012 ...he thinks he's going downtown? - Obviously. 280 00:13:12,558 --> 00:13:15,026 - You're crazy. - Well, what happened upstairs? 281 00:13:15,194 --> 00:13:16,491 As soon as we walked in... 282 00:13:16,662 --> 00:13:19,631 ...he got a call from one of his patients with an impacted molar... 283 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:22,359 ...so he had to leave. I didn't look for the label maker. 284 00:13:22,535 --> 00:13:24,799 I don't trust this guy. I think he re-gifted... 285 00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:27,632 ...and then de-gifted. Now he's using an upstairs invite... 286 00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:30,071 ...as a springboard to a Super Bowl sex romp. 287 00:13:41,687 --> 00:13:43,018 - Hey. - Hey. 288 00:13:43,189 --> 00:13:45,180 - What are you doing? - I'm watching your door. 289 00:13:45,357 --> 00:13:47,348 - My door? - Yeah. From my peephole. 290 00:13:47,526 --> 00:13:49,323 Fisheye. Sees all. 291 00:13:56,402 --> 00:13:59,269 - What was that? - Newman. Open it. Open it. Open. 292 00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:01,534 Damn. 293 00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:05,237 The bedroom. 294 00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:09,872 Get him. 295 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:15,586 - I see you, Newman. I see you. - I'm taking the Congo as a penalty. 296 00:14:16,388 --> 00:14:18,379 I've got a confession to make. 297 00:14:18,991 --> 00:14:22,085 - What's that? - I've got Super Bowl fever. 298 00:14:22,895 --> 00:14:25,420 - Yeah. Yeah, me too. - Yeah. 299 00:14:28,267 --> 00:14:31,862 - So where are we staying? - Oh, the Ambassador. 300 00:14:34,406 --> 00:14:35,805 Big room? 301 00:14:35,975 --> 00:14:39,467 It's a regular room, but it's right downtown. 302 00:14:39,778 --> 00:14:42,611 - Downtown? - Right downtown. 303 00:14:45,384 --> 00:14:48,410 What do they have there? A couple of beds? 304 00:14:48,587 --> 00:14:51,556 Why? You bringing someone else? 305 00:14:52,491 --> 00:14:54,322 No... 306 00:14:54,493 --> 00:14:56,620 ...but don't you think there should be two beds? 307 00:14:56,795 --> 00:14:58,854 There's two of us. 308 00:15:03,769 --> 00:15:05,600 Oh, a cactus. 309 00:15:05,771 --> 00:15:06,999 They don't need any water... 310 00:15:07,172 --> 00:15:09,834 ...so you don't have to keep taking them to the bathroom. 311 00:15:10,476 --> 00:15:11,807 Well... 312 00:15:13,112 --> 00:15:15,046 ...Iook who's here. 313 00:15:16,181 --> 00:15:17,739 I asked Scott to move out. 314 00:15:22,855 --> 00:15:24,846 So she kicked him out of the apartment? 315 00:15:25,024 --> 00:15:26,787 That's right. 316 00:15:26,959 --> 00:15:29,257 It's just me and her. 317 00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:31,623 She rearranged her whole life for you. 318 00:15:32,898 --> 00:15:34,957 Yeah, I guess she did. 319 00:15:35,534 --> 00:15:37,661 He's gone. Now I'm the man. 320 00:15:37,836 --> 00:15:39,963 That's not a good role for you. 321 00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:41,834 No, it's not. 322 00:15:42,007 --> 00:15:44,305 You unwittingly made a major commitment. 323 00:15:44,476 --> 00:15:46,000 That's a lot of pressure. 324 00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:48,409 Oh, my God. 325 00:15:49,315 --> 00:15:51,374 You wanted to be ensconced in velvet. 326 00:15:51,550 --> 00:15:53,347 You're buried. 327 00:15:53,986 --> 00:15:57,012 I had the perfect situation here. He was shouldering half the load. 328 00:15:57,189 --> 00:16:00,522 - He was shouldering. - I couldn't leave well enough alone. 329 00:16:00,693 --> 00:16:02,126 Where you going? 330 00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:05,627 I gotta go help tape up all his boxes and get them ready for shipping. 331 00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:07,823 Well, here. Take Whatley's label maker. 332 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,366 - I don't wanna see it again. - Thanks. 333 00:16:12,204 --> 00:16:14,764 Yeah. I am taking over South America... 334 00:16:14,940 --> 00:16:16,999 ...and there ain't nothing you can do about it. 335 00:16:17,176 --> 00:16:19,371 Too bad about that Super Bowl ticket, huh, Newman? 336 00:16:19,545 --> 00:16:22,412 Yeah. I just hope Tim Whatley's electric bills... 337 00:16:22,581 --> 00:16:25,311 ...don't suddenly get lost in the mail... 338 00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:28,715 ...or it could be lights out for him. 339 00:16:28,887 --> 00:16:30,752 Okay. Thanks for having me over, guys. 340 00:16:30,923 --> 00:16:32,686 Yeah. 341 00:16:34,193 --> 00:16:36,593 - All right, I'll see you later. - Oh, hey, Jerry. 342 00:16:37,262 --> 00:16:39,696 Tim Whatley. Out scalping? 343 00:16:39,865 --> 00:16:42,390 See, now, I've been thinking a lot about what happened. 344 00:16:42,568 --> 00:16:45,264 I feel horrible. Listen, I wanna give you a ticket back. 345 00:16:45,437 --> 00:16:48,031 - Are you serious? What about Elaine? - Oh, Elaine, yeah. 346 00:16:48,207 --> 00:16:51,506 Well, things just didn't work out like I thought they would. 347 00:16:52,444 --> 00:16:55,106 Hey, isn't this Kramer's car? 348 00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:59,273 Hey, Cosmo! They're towing your car. 349 00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:01,743 What? 350 00:17:03,455 --> 00:17:05,423 Not my car! 351 00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:10,661 They're towing my car. 352 00:17:11,964 --> 00:17:14,956 - What are you doing? - I'm taking the board with me. 353 00:17:17,169 --> 00:17:19,034 Hey. 354 00:17:21,173 --> 00:17:22,936 Hey! Hey, wait! 355 00:17:25,144 --> 00:17:26,406 Wait! 356 00:17:26,578 --> 00:17:29,308 Hey, wait a minute! 357 00:17:29,481 --> 00:17:30,743 Hey! 358 00:17:30,916 --> 00:17:33,510 - So I guess I'll see you at the game. - Yeah, see you there. 359 00:17:33,685 --> 00:17:35,619 Okay. Good. 360 00:17:39,558 --> 00:17:41,458 Hi, George. 361 00:17:43,028 --> 00:17:44,256 Where...? 362 00:17:44,430 --> 00:17:47,422 What happened? Where's...? Where's all the stuff? 363 00:17:47,599 --> 00:17:49,590 It's gone. It was all his. 364 00:17:50,669 --> 00:17:52,102 Is this a label maker? 365 00:17:52,271 --> 00:17:57,607 But the table, the stereo, the VCR... The velvet couch. Where's the velvet? 366 00:17:57,776 --> 00:17:59,334 They were his. 367 00:17:59,511 --> 00:18:03,038 Besides, we don't need any of those things. 368 00:18:03,215 --> 00:18:05,843 We have each other. 369 00:18:10,289 --> 00:18:12,780 Are you sure you know where the impound yard is? 370 00:18:12,958 --> 00:18:14,858 Oh, stop stalling. Come on. 371 00:18:15,027 --> 00:18:18,121 L... I can't think. There's all this noise. 372 00:18:18,297 --> 00:18:21,733 Or is it because I've built a stronghold around Greenland... 373 00:18:21,900 --> 00:18:24,460 ...I've driven you out of Western Europe... 374 00:18:24,636 --> 00:18:28,595 ...and I've left you teetering on the brink of complete annihilation? 375 00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:32,005 I'm not beaten yet. I still have armies in the Ukraine. 376 00:18:32,177 --> 00:18:34,668 Yeah? The Ukraine. 377 00:18:34,847 --> 00:18:37,714 You know what the Ukraine is? It's a sitting duck. 378 00:18:37,883 --> 00:18:39,714 A road apple, Newman. 379 00:18:39,885 --> 00:18:41,716 The Ukraine is weak. 380 00:18:41,887 --> 00:18:43,377 It's feeble. 381 00:18:43,555 --> 00:18:46,353 I think it's time to put the hurt on the Ukraine. 382 00:18:46,525 --> 00:18:49,858 I come from Ukraine. You not say Ukraine weak. 383 00:18:50,028 --> 00:18:51,620 Yeah, we're playing a game here, pal. 384 00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:56,166 Ukraine is game to you? How about I take your little board and smash! 385 00:19:00,839 --> 00:19:02,830 Hello, Tim. 386 00:19:04,009 --> 00:19:05,670 - Elaine, hi. - Don't worry, Tim. 387 00:19:05,844 --> 00:19:08,540 I didn't come by to yell at you. I didn't come by for that. 388 00:19:08,714 --> 00:19:12,844 I just came by to pick up my label maker. 389 00:19:13,018 --> 00:19:16,977 I gave you a label maker, and now I would like to have it back. 390 00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:18,214 But you gave it to me. 391 00:19:18,390 --> 00:19:21,359 But you gave me a ticket to the Super Bowl. 392 00:19:21,527 --> 00:19:23,552 Hand it over, Whatley. 393 00:19:24,329 --> 00:19:25,557 Okay. 394 00:19:27,032 --> 00:19:29,193 You don't have the label maker, do you? 395 00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:31,831 - No. - I knew it. 396 00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:34,939 - You're a re-gifter. - Oh, yeah. Some gift. 397 00:19:35,107 --> 00:19:37,041 - That thing didn't work at all. - What? 398 00:19:37,209 --> 00:19:40,144 You put a label on something, 10 minutes later it would peel off. 399 00:19:40,312 --> 00:19:43,281 It was the worst gift I ever got. 400 00:19:45,517 --> 00:19:48,281 Well, I bought it for you... 401 00:19:48,954 --> 00:19:52,583 ...because you were so nice to me for not charging me for the dental work. 402 00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:57,958 The way you worked on my filling, you were so... 403 00:19:58,130 --> 00:20:03,090 So gentle and so caring and so sensitive. 404 00:20:04,703 --> 00:20:06,967 Oh, Elaine. 405 00:20:20,452 --> 00:20:21,942 H... 406 00:20:22,120 --> 00:20:23,587 ...G... 407 00:20:23,755 --> 00:20:27,247 ...F. Seat four. 408 00:20:27,426 --> 00:20:32,420 One, two, three... 409 00:20:34,833 --> 00:20:36,733 Hello, Newman. 410 00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:39,063 Hello, Jerry. 411 00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:41,832 Tim couldn't make it. He's in love. 412 00:20:42,574 --> 00:20:44,906 - Isn't that wonderful? - Oh, it's enchanting. 413 00:20:51,183 --> 00:20:53,515 Here's the TV. 414 00:20:53,685 --> 00:20:56,882 I know you wanted to watch the Super Bowl. 415 00:21:01,727 --> 00:21:05,458 Do you at least have some towels we could sit on? 416 00:21:05,631 --> 00:21:07,622 It's, like, a four-hour game. 417 00:21:09,067 --> 00:21:13,003 George, Scott's gonna drop by. He said he never got his boxes. 418 00:21:13,538 --> 00:21:15,699 I'll get the towels. 419 00:21:15,874 --> 00:21:20,436 How am I gonna get out of this? Think, Costanza. Think! 420 00:21:23,348 --> 00:21:26,181 - Here we are. - Hey. 421 00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:28,943 Do you know, Bonnie, l... 422 00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:31,851 I just had a pretty wild idea. 423 00:21:32,024 --> 00:21:34,720 - What is it? - Well, l... 424 00:21:34,893 --> 00:21:38,420 I'm not sure how you pronounce it or anything, but l... 425 00:21:38,730 --> 00:21:42,393 I believe it's menage a trois? 426 00:21:42,567 --> 00:21:44,558 What? 427 00:21:45,370 --> 00:21:47,133 - Hi. - Scott. 428 00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:49,501 Remember what we talked about the other day? 429 00:21:49,675 --> 00:21:51,939 George is into it. 430 00:21:54,212 --> 00:21:56,578 Oh, really? 431 00:22:11,563 --> 00:22:13,963 Great streak of luck I'm having. 432 00:22:14,132 --> 00:22:18,364 First Kramer almost beats me at Risk, but I narrowly escape... 433 00:22:18,537 --> 00:22:21,472 ...and then Tim Whatley gives me this Super Bowl ticket. 434 00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:23,574 Can you move over at all? 435 00:22:23,742 --> 00:22:26,267 And then... Then, just as I'm about to go... 436 00:22:26,445 --> 00:22:31,280 ...these boxes show up at the post office with no labels. 437 00:22:31,650 --> 00:22:34,551 No labels, Jerry. You know what that means? 438 00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:36,950 Freebies! 439 00:22:37,789 --> 00:22:41,919 I got this great mini TV and a VCR. 440 00:22:42,094 --> 00:22:43,959 - It's unbelievable. - An inch. 441 00:22:44,129 --> 00:22:47,030 - Can you move over an inch? - Oh, come on. 442 00:22:48,030 --> 00:22:58,030 Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org 34170

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