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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,033 --> 00:00:04,433 - THE ONLY GIRL I'VE ACTUALLY LIKED 2 00:00:04,433 --> 00:00:05,873 IN FOREVER WAS JANE. - JANE. YEAH, STEALS YOUR PANTS, 3 00:00:05,867 --> 00:00:07,667 LEAVES A FAKE NUMBER, JANE. 4 00:00:07,667 --> 00:00:08,797 I'M GONNA GO SURPRISE BRETT 5 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:10,000 AT HIS WEEKLY SHUFFLEBOARD GAME. 6 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:11,700 I'LL BE LIKE, "HEY, BRAD, I MISSED YOU." 7 00:00:11,700 --> 00:00:13,630 - I WANTED TO KNOW IF YOU WANTED TO 8 00:00:13,633 --> 00:00:14,633 HANG OUT WITH ME. 9 00:00:14,633 --> 00:00:16,733 - YES. I MEAN...SURE. 10 00:00:21,033 --> 00:00:23,273 - THANKS AGAIN FOR MEETING ME. 11 00:00:23,267 --> 00:00:24,967 AS I LEARNED IN THE CORNELL CAREER CENTER, 12 00:00:24,967 --> 00:00:27,897 I SHOULD CLOSE BY REITERATING HOW MUCH I LOVE YOUR SITE, 13 00:00:27,900 --> 00:00:30,530 AND THAT MY BACKGROUND REVIEWING BANDS FOR THE SCHOOL PAPER 14 00:00:30,533 --> 00:00:32,803 WOULD MAKE ME A SOLID EDITORIAL ASSISTANT. 15 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:34,330 - OH, REALLY? HOW SOLID? 16 00:00:34,333 --> 00:00:35,603 - VERY SOLID. 17 00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:36,830 NONPOROUS SOLID. 18 00:00:36,833 --> 00:00:40,233 SOLID LIKE A ROCK. 19 00:00:40,233 --> 00:00:41,833 - OKAY, THANKS FOR COMING IN SO EARLY, JASON. 20 00:00:41,833 --> 00:00:43,173 UH, WE GOT AN 8:30 TO GO TO, SO... 21 00:00:43,167 --> 00:00:44,367 - WE'LL BE IN TOUCH. 22 00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:56,670 - JESUS. 23 00:00:56,667 --> 00:00:57,897 HOW TIRED OF INTERVIEWING THESE KIDS ARE YOU? 24 00:00:57,900 --> 00:00:59,070 I'M DONE. - REALLY? 25 00:00:59,067 --> 00:01:00,327 YOU DON'T WANNA HEAR ANOTHER CANDIDATE 26 00:01:00,333 --> 00:01:01,903 TALK ABOUT HOW THEY WROTE ALBUM REVIEWS 27 00:01:01,900 --> 00:01:03,400 FOR THEIR HERALDED SCHOOL NEWSPAPER? 28 00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:04,830 - WE KNOW WHAT WE WANT. 29 00:01:04,833 --> 00:01:06,773 COME ON, LET'S JUST CALL AND GET THE HIRE STARTED. 30 00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:08,067 - CAN I WASH MY HANDS FIRST? 31 00:01:08,067 --> 00:01:09,567 UNLIKE YOU, I DON'T LOVE CANKER SORES. 32 00:01:09,567 --> 00:01:12,127 - NOPE, I'M DIALING. 33 00:01:12,133 --> 00:01:13,803 [call buzzing] 34 00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:14,800 [phone ringing] 35 00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:19,300 [call buzzing] [phone ringing] 36 00:01:22,067 --> 00:01:23,627 - HELLO, THIS IS JASON. 37 00:01:23,633 --> 00:01:25,703 - JASON, YOU IN HERE? 38 00:01:25,700 --> 00:01:27,600 - UH, HI. 39 00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:29,330 DID I JUST GET THE JOB? 40 00:01:29,333 --> 00:01:32,573 OR AM I ON, LIKE, THE WORST HIDDEN CAMERA SHOW EVER? 41 00:01:32,567 --> 00:01:33,727 I DON'T USUALLY ANSWER THE PHONE 42 00:01:33,733 --> 00:01:35,333 WHEN I'M ON THE TOILET, FYI. 43 00:01:35,333 --> 00:01:37,633 - I DON'T USUALLY TALK TO PEOPLE WHO ARE ON THE TOILET. 44 00:01:37,633 --> 00:01:39,773 BUT, YEAH, WE'D LIKE TO HIRE YOU. 45 00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:42,627 FINISH UP AND, UH, FIND GAVIN, OUR ASSISTANT. 46 00:01:42,633 --> 00:01:44,733 - CLASSIC. CONGRATS IN THERE, DUDE. 47 00:01:44,733 --> 00:01:46,803 - THANKS. I...LOOK FORWARD TO WORKING WITH YOU GUYS. 48 00:01:49,767 --> 00:01:51,597 YES! YES! 49 00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:53,730 OH, MY GOD, FINALLY! 50 00:01:53,733 --> 00:01:56,073 OH, WHOO! 51 00:01:59,533 --> 00:02:03,203 - MM... 52 00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:04,530 - WHAT'S UP, RIP VAN WINKLE? 53 00:02:04,533 --> 00:02:06,273 I WAS ABOUT TO PUT A MIRROR UNDER YOUR NOSE. 54 00:02:06,267 --> 00:02:07,497 I DIDN'T HAVE AN ALIBI IF YOU DIED 55 00:02:07,500 --> 00:02:09,430 IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. 56 00:02:11,900 --> 00:02:13,300 - MM, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN UP? 57 00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:14,370 - 'BOUT AN HOUR. 58 00:02:14,367 --> 00:02:16,067 YOU KNOW, EARLY BIRD GETS THE WORM. 59 00:02:16,067 --> 00:02:17,327 - WHO WANTS WORMS? 60 00:02:17,333 --> 00:02:19,133 I'D RATHER DREAM OF AN ENTIRE WORLD 61 00:02:19,133 --> 00:02:20,233 MADE OF CHEESE. 62 00:02:20,233 --> 00:02:21,873 - WELL, TODAY, THIS EARLY BIRD 63 00:02:21,867 --> 00:02:23,227 GOT US SOME SWEET DINNER RESERVATIONS 64 00:02:23,233 --> 00:02:25,103 AT MARLOWE AND SONS ON OPEN TABLE. 65 00:02:25,100 --> 00:02:26,530 I'M GONNA TAKE YOU OUT TONIGHT AND PLY YOU 66 00:02:26,533 --> 00:02:28,133 WITH SOME QUALITY MEATS. 67 00:02:28,133 --> 00:02:30,333 - UH...COOL. 68 00:02:30,333 --> 00:02:31,873 I DIDN'T HAVE PLANS TONIGHT, 69 00:02:31,867 --> 00:02:33,467 SO THAT...SOUNDS FUN. 70 00:02:33,467 --> 00:02:36,797 THANKS. 71 00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:38,730 WHOA. 72 00:02:38,733 --> 00:02:40,703 I DIDN'T REALIZE YOU WERE MAKING MY PLACE 73 00:02:40,700 --> 00:02:42,800 INTO A B & B, PAUL. 74 00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:44,070 HOW MUCH FOOD DID YOU BUY? 75 00:02:44,067 --> 00:02:45,727 - WELL, EGGS COME BY THE DOZEN 76 00:02:45,733 --> 00:02:47,603 AND BREAD COMES BY THE LOAF. 77 00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:50,130 WE CAN EAT THE REST LATER THIS WEEK, RIGHT? 78 00:02:50,133 --> 00:02:51,533 - YEAH. RIGHT. 79 00:02:53,633 --> 00:02:55,373 - HEY, SWEETIE. 80 00:02:55,367 --> 00:02:58,827 SO, UM, ANY NEW THOUGHTS ON MED SCHOOL? 81 00:02:58,833 --> 00:03:00,973 - YEAH. I JUST THOUGHT ABOUT HOW I GOT AN "A" IN BIO 82 00:03:00,967 --> 00:03:02,227 IN THE 10TH GRADE. 83 00:03:02,233 --> 00:03:03,973 THEN IN COLLEGE, PICKED PRE-MED AS A MAJOR 84 00:03:03,967 --> 00:03:05,827 'CAUSE I ALREADY HAD SOME SCIENCE CREDITS. 85 00:03:05,833 --> 00:03:07,973 NEXT THING I KNOW, MY LIFE IS PLANNED TO INFINITY, 86 00:03:07,967 --> 00:03:09,427 AND I HAVE NO IDEA IF BEING A DOCTOR 87 00:03:09,433 --> 00:03:11,333 IS WHAT I EVER EVEN WANTED. 88 00:03:11,333 --> 00:03:13,073 - OKAY. 89 00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:15,567 DON'T BE MAD, BUT I SET UP SOMETHING 90 00:03:15,567 --> 00:03:17,767 TO TRY TO HELP YOU REMEMBER WHY YOU LOVE MEDICINE. 91 00:03:17,767 --> 00:03:20,567 I INVITED PROFESSOR WILKENS OVER FOR DINNER. 92 00:03:20,567 --> 00:03:22,667 - NO, WAY. WILKY? 93 00:03:22,667 --> 00:03:24,427 HE'S THE COOLEST. 94 00:03:24,433 --> 00:03:25,803 THANKS, BABE. - AND, ER... 95 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:27,300 THIS IS YOUR DECISION. 96 00:03:27,300 --> 00:03:28,470 I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP. 97 00:03:28,467 --> 00:03:31,397 WHATEVER YOU DECIDE, I TOTALLY SUPPORT YOU. 98 00:03:35,467 --> 00:03:36,597 - YAY, JAY! 99 00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:37,770 - OH, YEAH, I KNOW. 100 00:03:37,767 --> 00:03:39,867 I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M GONNA HAVE A REAL JOB. 101 00:03:39,867 --> 00:03:41,927 - WELL, WE HAVE NO CHOICE. WE HAVE TO GO OUT TONIGHT 102 00:03:41,933 --> 00:03:43,933 AND DRINK UNTIL OUR LIVERS TURN BLACK. 103 00:03:43,933 --> 00:03:45,173 ISN'T LENCH HAVING THAT PARTY 104 00:03:45,167 --> 00:03:47,197 FOR THE ALL NATURAL'S TENTH ISSUE OR WHATEVER? 105 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:49,500 LET'S GO DRINK HIS FREE BOOZE AND VOMIT ON HIS FAKE GLASSES. 106 00:03:49,500 --> 00:03:50,600 both: [laughing] 107 00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:51,600 - HEY. 108 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:52,930 - HEY, PAUL. 109 00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:54,803 OH, PAUL, THIS IS MY FRIEND JAY. 110 00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:56,330 - NICE TO FINALLY MEET YOU. 111 00:03:56,333 --> 00:03:58,173 TINA'S BARELY MENTIONED YOU OR WHAT GOOD FRIENDS YOU ARE, 112 00:03:58,167 --> 00:04:00,427 OR HOW A GIRL NAMED JANE STOLE YOUR PANTS. 113 00:04:00,433 --> 00:04:02,733 - OH, SO SHE FULLY DETAILED MY SHAME, HUH? 114 00:04:02,733 --> 00:04:03,733 YOU KNOW, I COULD DO THE SAME-- 115 00:04:03,733 --> 00:04:05,073 - UH, BUT YOU WON'T. 116 00:04:05,067 --> 00:04:07,067 UH, PAUL, YOUNG JAY HERE JUST GOT HIMSELF A NEW JOB. 117 00:04:07,067 --> 00:04:08,397 - AWESOME. 118 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:10,630 - PER OUR FRIENDSHIP, I AM REQUIRED TO TAKE HIM OUT TONIGHT 119 00:04:10,633 --> 00:04:11,633 AND POUR WHISKEY DOWN HIS THROAT 120 00:04:11,633 --> 00:04:13,073 UNTIL HE HAS SEX WITH AN OBESE GIRL, 121 00:04:13,067 --> 00:04:16,227 SO UNFORTUNATELY, I HAVE TO CANCEL TONIGHT'S MEAT-FEST. 122 00:04:16,233 --> 00:04:18,103 - OH, OKAY. TOTALLY. 123 00:04:18,100 --> 00:04:21,430 OR, UH, I'D LOVE TO GO WITH YOU TWO 124 00:04:21,433 --> 00:04:24,103 AND BUY A CELEBRATORY ROUND, IF THAT'S OKAY. 125 00:04:24,100 --> 00:04:25,570 - OH, YEAH, SURE, DUDE, THAT'D BE GREAT. 126 00:04:25,567 --> 00:04:27,227 - COOL. I'M EXCITED FOR YOU, MAN. 127 00:04:27,233 --> 00:04:28,203 I'LL SEE YOU LATER, T. 128 00:04:30,667 --> 00:04:31,927 - T? 129 00:04:31,933 --> 00:04:33,233 - HE'S P, I'M T. 130 00:04:33,233 --> 00:04:35,373 - THAT'S SUPER COOL. 131 00:04:35,367 --> 00:04:38,267 WAIT, THAT SOUNDED SINCERE RATHER THAN MOCKING. 132 00:04:38,267 --> 00:04:40,297 I MEANT THE LATTER. - YEAH, I GOT IT. 133 00:04:40,300 --> 00:04:42,130 - ERIC'S GONNA BE A HOBO. 134 00:04:42,133 --> 00:04:44,403 - HE'S NOT GONNA BE A HOBO, STACE. 135 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:46,070 - DON'T BE NEUROTIC, PERKY ONE. 136 00:04:46,067 --> 00:04:47,797 YOUR BOYFRIEND IS VERY SMART. 137 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:49,770 PLUS, HE HAS THOSE FULL, PILLOWY LIPS. 138 00:04:49,767 --> 00:04:52,297 EVEN AS A HOMELESS, HE WOULD...FLOURISH. 139 00:04:52,300 --> 00:04:54,230 - EXACTLY. HE'LL BE GREAT AT ANYTHING. 140 00:04:54,233 --> 00:04:55,733 MAYBE HE'LL CREATE AN APP. - UGH. 141 00:04:55,733 --> 00:04:57,603 WILKY BETTER COME THROUGH. 142 00:04:57,600 --> 00:04:59,870 OKAY, WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU AND PAUL? 143 00:04:59,867 --> 00:05:01,367 - I DON'T KNOW. HE'S WEIRD. 144 00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:02,967 LIKE THIS MORNING, HE BOUGHT ALL THESE EGGS. 145 00:05:02,967 --> 00:05:04,197 LIKE IT WAS JUST ASSUMED 146 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:06,070 WE'D BE EATING OMELETS TOGETHER ALL WEEK. 147 00:05:06,067 --> 00:05:07,127 - OH, GOD, HE BOUGHT YOU EGGS? 148 00:05:07,133 --> 00:05:09,333 WHAT A CREEP. - YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 149 00:05:09,333 --> 00:05:11,573 AND TONIGHT I'M SUPPOSED TO TAKE JAY OUT TO CELEBRATE, 150 00:05:11,567 --> 00:05:13,367 AND HE JUST GLOMMED ON. - WAIT. 151 00:05:13,367 --> 00:05:15,127 LOOSE ONE, YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND? 152 00:05:15,133 --> 00:05:17,073 PIGS FLY OVER FROZEN HELL. 153 00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:19,397 - I SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE. 154 00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:22,630 YOU'VE JUST NEVER BEEN WITH A NICE, NORMAL GUY BEFORE. 155 00:05:22,633 --> 00:05:24,703 YOU'RE USED TO HIPSTER JERKS LIKE BRETT, 156 00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:27,630 GUYS WHO TEXT YOU AT MIDNIGHT FOR A DATE AT 1:00 A.M. 157 00:05:27,633 --> 00:05:30,233 - AH, BRETT. WE WERE DESTINED TO FAIL. 158 00:05:30,233 --> 00:05:32,633 I MEAN, HE HAS A TATTOO OF THE WORD "TATTOO." 159 00:05:32,633 --> 00:05:36,073 ACTUALLY, HE'S BEEN TEXTING ME AGAIN THE LAST FEW WEEKS. 160 00:05:36,067 --> 00:05:38,397 ANYWAY, AND HE'S COOL, YOU KNOW? 161 00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:39,530 WE HAD REALLY GOOD SEX. 162 00:05:39,533 --> 00:05:41,973 WE FIT TOGETHER WELL, LIKE HUMAN LEGOS. 163 00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:43,697 - EW. TEEN, LOOK. 164 00:05:43,700 --> 00:05:45,670 YOU AND PAUL COULD HAVE A REAL RELATIONSHIP. 165 00:05:45,667 --> 00:05:46,867 JUST GIVE IT A CHANCE. 166 00:05:46,867 --> 00:05:49,727 TONIGHT WILL BE FUN, YOU'LL SEE. 167 00:05:49,733 --> 00:05:52,803 - YEAH. ALCOHOL PLUS ME IS USUALLY A GIGGLE, RIGHT? 168 00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:54,870 [doorbell rings] 169 00:05:54,867 --> 00:05:56,627 - THEY'RE HERE. 170 00:05:56,633 --> 00:05:57,903 all: HI. 171 00:05:57,900 --> 00:05:59,270 - GREAT TO SEE YOU, STACEY. - GREAT TO SEE YOU. 172 00:05:59,267 --> 00:06:01,327 - THIS IS MY GIRLFRIEND, SARA. - HI, NICE TO MEET YOU. 173 00:06:01,333 --> 00:06:02,803 - HI, SARA. - THERE HE IS. 174 00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:04,400 MEDIUM-SIZED MAN ON CAMPUS. 175 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:06,930 - WILKY, HOW ARE YOU, GOOD SIR? - ERIC? 176 00:06:06,933 --> 00:06:09,933 - SARA, WHA-- UH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 177 00:06:09,933 --> 00:06:13,103 - BRADLEY SAID "FORMER STUDENT." I DIDN'T REALIZE... 178 00:06:13,100 --> 00:06:14,400 THIS IS WEIRD. 179 00:06:15,567 --> 00:06:17,067 - DID YOU TWO HAVE A CLASS TOGETHER, OR... 180 00:06:17,067 --> 00:06:20,897 - WE, UH, KIND OF DATED FRESHMAN YEAR. 181 00:06:20,900 --> 00:06:23,900 - HUH, THAT'S FUNNY. SMALL WORLD. 182 00:06:23,900 --> 00:06:26,070 - YEAH, SMALL WORLD... 183 00:06:26,067 --> 00:06:28,727 ENTIRELY POPULATED BY MEN SARA SLEPT WITH. 184 00:06:28,733 --> 00:06:31,073 - BRADLEY, DON'T DO THIS AGAIN. 185 00:06:31,067 --> 00:06:32,897 - AND YOU DON'T DO EVERYONE AGAIN. 186 00:06:35,433 --> 00:06:38,173 - WELL, HEY, WHY DON'T WE OPEN THIS, UH-- 187 00:06:38,167 --> 00:06:40,427 THIS PUPPY UP AND LET HER BREATHE, HUH? 188 00:06:41,733 --> 00:06:44,703 [bluegrass music playing] 189 00:06:44,700 --> 00:06:46,870 * 190 00:06:46,867 --> 00:06:49,197 - I KNOW THIS IS BAD, BUT EVERY TIME I SEE A DUDE 191 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,300 STILL WEARING ONE OF THOSE YELLOW RUBBER BRACELETS, 192 00:06:51,300 --> 00:06:53,070 I JUST ASSUME HE'S LOST A TESTICLE. 193 00:06:53,067 --> 00:06:54,497 - ALL THIS BALL TALK'S MAKING ME THIRSTY. 194 00:06:54,500 --> 00:06:56,300 YOU GUYS NEED ANOTHER? 195 00:06:57,367 --> 00:06:59,327 - SORRY ABOUT THE STATIC CLING. 196 00:06:59,333 --> 00:07:00,403 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 197 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:01,800 - PAUL. HE'S SUFFOCATING ME. 198 00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:03,270 THIS IS YOUR NIGHT. IT SHOULD BE ME AND YOU 199 00:07:03,267 --> 00:07:04,597 PLAYING "JERK OR DORK" AND GETTING HAMMERED. 200 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:06,530 - WE CAN STILL DO THAT. UH...JERK OR DORK. 201 00:07:06,533 --> 00:07:08,503 - SHE THINKS SHE'S A JERK, BUT SHE'S REALLY ONLY A DORK. 202 00:07:08,500 --> 00:07:10,700 LOOK, I'M JUST SAYING, I'M SORRY PAUL GLOMMED ON. 203 00:07:10,700 --> 00:07:12,970 - HE'S COOL. IF YOU DON'T DATE HIM, I WILL. 204 00:07:12,967 --> 00:07:14,427 JUST DON'T HAVE A PANIC ATTACK. 205 00:07:14,433 --> 00:07:16,303 - OKAY, TO MY NEW FRIEND JAY, 206 00:07:16,300 --> 00:07:17,770 MY NEW GIRL, TINA, 207 00:07:17,767 --> 00:07:22,597 AND TO THE GOOD OLD U.S. OF A, AM I RIGHT? 208 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:25,430 WOW, YOU MUST REALLY LIKE THE REFRESHING TASTE OF VODKA. 209 00:07:25,433 --> 00:07:27,933 - I PREFER IT TO REGULAR POTATOES. 210 00:07:27,933 --> 00:07:30,073 - SURE, WE CAN SHARE. 211 00:07:30,067 --> 00:07:32,697 - J-BONE, TINA... HANDSOME GUY. 212 00:07:32,700 --> 00:07:34,770 ALL RIGHT, GLAD YOU GUYS MADE IT. 213 00:07:34,767 --> 00:07:38,127 ALL NATURALS IS FINANCIALLY SOLID... 214 00:07:38,133 --> 00:07:39,333 FOR AT LEAST SIX MONTHS. 215 00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:41,273 - GOOD FOR YOU, LENCH. - THANKS, MAN. 216 00:07:41,267 --> 00:07:42,667 LISTEN, YOU GUYS HAVE ANY ASPIRIN? 217 00:07:42,667 --> 00:07:44,597 I HAVE SERIOUS CUNNILINGUS NECK. 218 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:46,230 NO? NO WORRIES, I'LL STRETCH IT OUT. 219 00:07:46,233 --> 00:07:48,473 TEEN, WHO IS THIS ADORABLE LITTLE DUMPLING? 220 00:07:48,467 --> 00:07:52,197 - UH, HE'S...UH-- - JASON? 221 00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:58,330 I THOUGHT THAT WAS YOU. 222 00:07:58,333 --> 00:08:00,933 - JANE. HEY. 223 00:08:06,233 --> 00:08:07,473 - WE MEET AGAIN. 224 00:08:07,467 --> 00:08:09,297 - WE DO, AND I THINK I MIGHT BE WEARING 225 00:08:09,300 --> 00:08:10,930 THE SAME SHIRT AS THE FIRST TIME WE MET. 226 00:08:10,933 --> 00:08:12,233 - I DON'T REMEMBER. 227 00:08:12,233 --> 00:08:14,503 I JUST REMEMBER IT COMING OFF PRETTY FAST. 228 00:08:14,500 --> 00:08:18,300 YOU WERE A LITTLE BIT OF A...WHORE. 229 00:08:18,300 --> 00:08:19,300 - NO, I WAS A GENTLEMAN. 230 00:08:19,300 --> 00:08:20,500 HISTORICALLY, WHORES COST MONEY, 231 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,800 AND WHAT WE DID WAS COMPLETELY FREE OF CHARGE. 232 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:24,670 - OR MAYBE YOU HAVE A REALLY WEAK PIMP. 233 00:08:24,667 --> 00:08:25,797 - YEAH, HE'S AN EMACIATED HIPSTER. 234 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:26,930 HE DOESN'T BITCH SLAP ANYONE. 235 00:08:26,933 --> 00:08:28,673 HE JUST WRITES, LIKE, VERY MEAN TEXTS. 236 00:08:28,667 --> 00:08:29,867 - [laughing] 237 00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:35,130 - UH, YOU WANNA GET ANOTHER DRINK AND CATCH UP? 238 00:08:35,133 --> 00:08:36,633 - THAT SOUNDS GREAT. 239 00:08:39,067 --> 00:08:40,527 [mouthing words] 240 00:08:42,300 --> 00:08:44,600 - SO THAT WAS THE JANE? CRAZY, RIGHT? 241 00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:46,330 - YEAH. HEY, CAN I SEE THAT FOR A SEC? 242 00:08:46,333 --> 00:08:49,973 THANKS. - UH, MAYBE YOU SHOULD... 243 00:08:49,967 --> 00:08:51,167 SLOW DOWN A LITTLE BIT, TEEN. 244 00:08:51,167 --> 00:08:53,097 IT'S BAD FORM TO PUKE BEFORE MIDNIGHT. 245 00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:54,600 - IT DEPENDS ON HOW YOU DO IT, YOU KNOW? 246 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,970 IF YOU DO IT, LIKE, CHARMING...ALL GOOD. 247 00:08:56,967 --> 00:08:58,197 - I'M JUST SAYING THAT-- 248 00:08:58,200 --> 00:08:59,770 - LOOK, PAUL, I'VE BEEN DRINKING ALCOHOL 249 00:08:59,767 --> 00:09:02,097 WAY BEFORE I MET YOU, JUST LIKE I'VE BEEN SURVIVING 250 00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:05,570 WITHOUT A "MAKE YOUR OWN OMELET" STATION IN MY KITCHEN. 251 00:09:05,567 --> 00:09:08,527 - OKAY. 252 00:09:08,533 --> 00:09:09,603 - ISN'T THAT WEIRD? 253 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:11,870 - [laughing] IT IS WEIRD. 254 00:09:11,867 --> 00:09:14,067 - CAN I BE SERIOUS FOR A MINUTE? 255 00:09:14,067 --> 00:09:15,197 - ARE WE GONNA TALK POLITICS? 256 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:16,300 BECAUSE I'M BIG ON THE TEA PARTY, 257 00:09:16,300 --> 00:09:17,730 LET'S JUST GET THAT OUT THERE. 258 00:09:17,733 --> 00:09:21,403 - SO I'VE BARELY BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS, BUT, UM... 259 00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:23,070 WE HAD THIS AMAZING NIGHT. 260 00:09:23,067 --> 00:09:25,567 I MEAN, MY CRISPER WILL NEVER BE THE SAME. 261 00:09:25,567 --> 00:09:28,467 - IT WAS PRETTY AMAZING. - REALLY? 262 00:09:28,467 --> 00:09:29,497 OR ARE YOU JUST SAYING THAT 263 00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:31,800 BECAUSE YOU GOT A FREE PAIR OF PANTS? 264 00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:34,130 YOU STILL HAVE THOSE, YOU KNOW. 265 00:09:34,133 --> 00:09:35,073 - DON'T WORRY, THEY'RE SAFE. 266 00:09:35,067 --> 00:09:36,367 I WASHED THEM. 267 00:09:36,367 --> 00:09:38,167 - YOU DIDN'T DRY THEM, DID YOU? BECAUSE THEY SHRINK. 268 00:09:38,167 --> 00:09:40,667 - [laughing] - ANYWAY. 269 00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:44,167 THE NEXT MORNING, AFTER OUR AMAZING NIGHT, 270 00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:47,397 YOU GAVE ME A FAKE PHONE NUMBER. WHY? 271 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:49,730 - NO. 272 00:09:49,733 --> 00:09:52,703 IT'S, OH--MY TWOS, THEY-- THEY LOOK LIKE FIVES SOMETIMES. 273 00:09:52,700 --> 00:09:54,530 - TRUST ME, I TRIED THAT. 274 00:09:54,533 --> 00:09:56,373 I TRIED, LIKE, EVERY POSSIBLE COMBINATION. 275 00:09:56,367 --> 00:09:59,527 I WAS LIKE A VERY ROMANTIC HACKER. 276 00:09:59,533 --> 00:10:01,703 - YOU WERE? 277 00:10:01,700 --> 00:10:03,270 - YEAH. 278 00:10:12,033 --> 00:10:15,673 - UGH, THERE'S JUST HEALTHY CRAP IN HERE. 279 00:10:15,667 --> 00:10:16,897 - HEY! - TINA, WHAT'S GOING ON? 280 00:10:16,900 --> 00:10:18,370 - OOH! 281 00:10:18,367 --> 00:10:19,697 I'M PARTYING. 282 00:10:19,700 --> 00:10:21,800 I'M KEEPING UP MY END OF THE SOCIAL CONTRACT 283 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:23,830 THAT SAYS WHEN ONE IS INVITED TO A PARTY, 284 00:10:23,833 --> 00:10:25,273 ONE SHOULD BE JOVIAL. 285 00:10:25,267 --> 00:10:27,697 I'M JOVIALIZING THE CRAP OUT OF THIS PLACE. 286 00:10:27,700 --> 00:10:28,900 - OKAY, WELL, PRETTY SOON, I'M GONNA BE PICKING 287 00:10:28,900 --> 00:10:31,170 LITTLE PIECES OF JOVIAL OUT OF YOUR HAIR. 288 00:10:31,167 --> 00:10:32,267 I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING, TINA. 289 00:10:32,267 --> 00:10:34,027 THIS WAS YOUR AND JASON'S THING. 290 00:10:34,033 --> 00:10:35,833 MAYBE I SHOULDN'T HAVE COME. 291 00:10:35,833 --> 00:10:37,803 - MAYBE. - NICE. 292 00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:38,900 WELL, YOU'RE CLEARLY IN NO SHAPE 293 00:10:38,900 --> 00:10:40,100 TO HAVE THIS CONVERSATION RIGHT NOW. 294 00:10:40,100 --> 00:10:41,370 - I'M IN THE BEST SHAPE OF MY LIFE. 295 00:10:41,367 --> 00:10:43,127 WANNA HAVE A PUSH-UP CONTEST RIGHT NOW? 296 00:10:43,133 --> 00:10:45,003 - NO, I'M LEAVING. 297 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:47,400 HERE'S 20 BUCKS. JUST TAKE A CAB. 298 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:49,330 TEXT ME WHEN YOU GET IN, SO I KNOW YOU'RE OKAY. 299 00:10:49,333 --> 00:10:51,373 BYE. - WHATEVER. 300 00:11:06,533 --> 00:11:09,703 - SO, PROFESSOR WILKENS, ERIC REALLY RESPECTS YOU, 301 00:11:09,700 --> 00:11:11,130 AND I WAS HOPING-- - SO... 302 00:11:11,133 --> 00:11:12,633 HOW LONG DID YOU TWO DATE FOR? 303 00:11:12,633 --> 00:11:14,133 - UH, IT REALLY WASN'T A BIG DEAL. 304 00:11:14,133 --> 00:11:15,233 - IT WAS FOR ME. 305 00:11:15,233 --> 00:11:16,903 I'M FROM A SMALL TOWN. 306 00:11:16,900 --> 00:11:19,400 YOU WERE MY FIRST... URBAN LOVER. 307 00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:20,430 - OH, JESUS. 308 00:11:20,433 --> 00:11:21,733 - COLLEGE. 309 00:11:21,733 --> 00:11:25,603 SO LONG AGO. CRAZY TIMES. 310 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:28,070 ANYWHO, SO PROFESSOR WILKENS, 311 00:11:28,067 --> 00:11:30,327 UH, ERIC HAS BEEN HAVING SOME DOUBTS ABOUT MED SCHOOL. 312 00:11:30,333 --> 00:11:32,373 THAT'S NORMAL, RIGHT? 313 00:11:32,367 --> 00:11:33,697 - NOPE. - ERIC. 314 00:11:33,700 --> 00:11:36,100 COME ON, YOU ARE, LIKE, SO DESTINED TO BE A DOCTOR. 315 00:11:36,100 --> 00:11:38,400 - "LIKE, SO DESTINED TO BE A DOCTOR." 316 00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:40,230 WHO TALKS LIKE THAT? - YOUNG PEOPLE? 317 00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:41,973 - OH, YOU MEAN LIKE URBAN ERIC? 318 00:11:41,967 --> 00:11:45,227 - YEP. OR ANYONE WHO CAN STAY UP PAST 11:00 319 00:11:45,233 --> 00:11:49,303 AND DOESN'T NEED TO PLAN ONE TO TWO HOURS AHEAD BEFORE SEX. 320 00:11:51,367 --> 00:11:53,127 - UM...MORE VINO? 321 00:11:54,867 --> 00:11:57,467 - OUR ALL-NATURAL SPECIALTY COCKTAIL 322 00:11:57,467 --> 00:12:01,197 IS ORGANIC POTATO ALCOHOL WITH LOCAL SPARKLING SPRING WATER. 323 00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:03,600 - YEAH, VODKA SODA. THANKS. 324 00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:05,600 - OH, HELLO. 325 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:07,300 - YOU GOT HERE FAST. 326 00:12:07,300 --> 00:12:09,130 DID YOUR PENIS DRIVE? 327 00:12:09,133 --> 00:12:11,203 - YEAH, HE'S LIKE JEFF GORDON. 328 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:12,930 LITERALLY BALLS TO THE WALL. 329 00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:14,903 IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME, TEEN. YOU LOOK GREAT. 330 00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:16,430 REALLY GLAD YOU FINALLY GOT BACK TO ME. 331 00:12:16,433 --> 00:12:18,403 SO EVERYTHING JIGGY? 332 00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:20,270 - THERE ARE SO MANY ANNOYING WORDS 333 00:12:20,267 --> 00:12:23,167 COMING OUT OF THAT HOLE BELOW YOUR NOSE. 334 00:12:31,300 --> 00:12:34,130 - WHY DO WE ALWAYS END UP IN THESE WEIRD, CRAMPED SPACES? 335 00:12:34,133 --> 00:12:35,503 - I'M SURE THERE'S... 336 00:12:35,500 --> 00:12:36,930 SOME PSYCHOLOGICAL RATIONALE. 337 00:12:36,933 --> 00:12:38,803 WE'RE RETURNING TO THE WOMB, OR SOMETHING. 338 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:40,530 - NEVER SAY WOMB TO A GIRL YOU'RE MAKING OUT WITH. 339 00:12:40,533 --> 00:12:42,073 - OKAY, GOT IT. 340 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:48,200 - J-BONE? 341 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:49,800 NICE. 342 00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:52,830 I MIGHT SHED A TEAR HERE. MY LITTLE BOY'S FINALLY 343 00:12:52,833 --> 00:12:54,773 BECOMING A MAN. MAZEL TOV. 344 00:12:54,767 --> 00:12:56,297 - CLOSE THE DOOR, LENCH. 345 00:12:56,300 --> 00:12:59,670 - OH, YEAH, SURE. 346 00:13:01,233 --> 00:13:03,503 MM, IT'S A LITTLE HOT IN HERE, THOUGH. 347 00:13:03,500 --> 00:13:06,330 YOU SHOULD HELICOPTER YOUR JUNK, GET IT GOING LIKE A PROPELLER? 348 00:13:06,333 --> 00:13:08,533 CREATES A COOLING BREEZE. CHICKS DIG IT. 349 00:13:08,533 --> 00:13:10,433 - GET OUT. - BOTH OF US, OR JUST HER? 350 00:13:11,667 --> 00:13:14,367 YOU'RE PRIVATE PEOPLE. I GET IT. 351 00:13:14,367 --> 00:13:16,927 - AS WE WERE? 352 00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:23,267 OH, MAYBE WE SHOULD GO BACK TO MY APARTMENT? 353 00:13:23,267 --> 00:13:25,227 - NO, I CAN'T. I-I GOTTA GET HOME EARLY. 354 00:13:25,233 --> 00:13:27,373 - YOUR PLACE IS ALSO GOOD. 355 00:13:27,367 --> 00:13:28,967 - NO, NO, NO, I JUST CAN'T. 356 00:13:30,367 --> 00:13:35,227 I HAVE A BOYFRIEND. 357 00:13:35,233 --> 00:13:37,803 I'M SORRY. I HAVE A BOYFRIEND, JAY. 358 00:13:42,667 --> 00:13:45,527 - SO, TO BE CLEAR, BY "BOYFRIEND," 359 00:13:45,533 --> 00:13:47,433 YOU MEAN A HUMAN MALE WHO MIGHT WANNA PUNCH ME 360 00:13:47,433 --> 00:13:49,833 IN THE NECK? - IT'S COMPLICATED. 361 00:13:49,833 --> 00:13:51,573 WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER SINCE I WAS 20, 362 00:13:51,567 --> 00:13:54,067 AND IT-- IT'S BEEN HARD... 363 00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:55,267 FOR A WHILE. 364 00:13:55,267 --> 00:13:58,067 - SO THE FAKE NUMBER. - YEAH. 365 00:13:58,067 --> 00:14:01,227 I'M SORRY, LOOK. THERE'S SOMETHING HERE, 366 00:14:01,233 --> 00:14:02,733 AND--AND--AND IT TOTALLY FREAKS ME OUT, 367 00:14:02,733 --> 00:14:05,073 BUT IT ALSO REALLY MAKES ME WANNA SEE WHERE IT GOES. 368 00:14:05,067 --> 00:14:07,467 I JUST KNOW THAT I LIKE YOU, 369 00:14:07,467 --> 00:14:10,067 AND I DON'T WANT THE NIGHT TO END YET. 370 00:14:10,067 --> 00:14:11,567 - YEAH, ME NEITHER. 371 00:14:11,567 --> 00:14:12,627 - LET ME MAKE A QUICK CALL, 372 00:14:12,633 --> 00:14:16,333 AND THEN MAYBE WE GO TO YOUR PLACE 373 00:14:16,333 --> 00:14:20,073 AND WE JUST--WE JUST SEE WHAT HAPPENS, OKAY? 374 00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:21,767 - YEAH. 375 00:14:21,767 --> 00:14:23,467 THAT SOUNDS NICE. 376 00:14:31,700 --> 00:14:34,970 [bluegrass music playing] 377 00:14:38,700 --> 00:14:40,700 - YOU TASTE LIKE FANCY CHEESE. 378 00:14:40,700 --> 00:14:42,070 - THAT'S THE SECOND MOST ROMANTIC THING 379 00:14:42,067 --> 00:14:43,667 ANYONE'S EVER SAID TO ME. 380 00:14:43,667 --> 00:14:45,097 HEY, WE'RE KIND OF PUTTING ON A SHOW HERE. 381 00:14:45,100 --> 00:14:46,570 WHAT DO YOU SAY WE BOUNCE BACK TO MY PLACE? 382 00:14:46,567 --> 00:14:48,527 - OKAY. - UM... 383 00:14:48,533 --> 00:14:50,573 - I'M ON MY BIKE. 384 00:14:50,567 --> 00:14:51,697 I'LL JUST MEET YOU THERE. 385 00:14:51,700 --> 00:14:52,800 YOU'RE COOL TO WALK, RIGHT? 386 00:14:56,533 --> 00:14:59,173 OH, HEY, WILL YOU PICK UP SOME ICE CREAM ON YOUR WAY? 387 00:14:59,167 --> 00:15:00,897 - AND BY ICE CREAM, YOU MEAN FROGURT? 388 00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:03,200 - YOU KNOW ME WELL. 389 00:15:08,733 --> 00:15:09,873 [hip-hop music playing] 390 00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:12,097 - WE NEVER LISTEN TO GOOD MUSIC. 391 00:15:12,100 --> 00:15:14,830 BRADLEY LIKES JAZZ. 392 00:15:14,833 --> 00:15:17,573 YOU CAN'T DANCE LIKE THIS TO JAZZ. 393 00:15:17,567 --> 00:15:18,597 - UH, WILKY, THERE'S SOMETHING 394 00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:19,700 I REALLY WANNA TALK TO YOU ABOUT. 395 00:15:19,700 --> 00:15:21,870 WERE YOU EVER CONFLICTED ABOUT MED SCHOOL? 396 00:15:21,867 --> 00:15:23,697 - I WAS NEVER CONFLICTED ABOUT MED SCHOOL. 397 00:15:23,700 --> 00:15:25,530 I AM, HOWEVER, CONFLICTED RIGHT NOW. 398 00:15:25,533 --> 00:15:28,073 SHOULD I STAY WITH THE 23-YEAR-OLD SLUT, 399 00:15:28,067 --> 00:15:29,797 OR DO I GO BACK TO MY WIFE? 400 00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:31,470 - DO YOU THINK I'M BEING SLUTTY? 401 00:15:31,467 --> 00:15:32,867 - LITTLE BIT. 402 00:15:32,867 --> 00:15:35,767 - MAYBE BECAUSE ALL WE EVER DO IS HAND THINGS. 403 00:15:35,767 --> 00:15:37,697 'CAUSE WILKY'S GOT A SILKY. 404 00:15:37,700 --> 00:15:38,970 - WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? 405 00:15:38,967 --> 00:15:40,797 YOU INSULT YOURSELF WHEN YOU TRY TO INSULT ME. 406 00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:43,530 YOU ARE MERELY A DUMB ANIMAL BUILT FOR FORNICATION. 407 00:15:43,533 --> 00:15:45,233 - AM I? 408 00:15:45,233 --> 00:15:47,703 PROVE IT. 409 00:15:50,300 --> 00:15:51,630 - IT'S NOT SILKY ANYMORE, IS IT? 410 00:15:51,633 --> 00:15:53,703 IT'S LIKE A MAHOGANY WALKING STICK. 411 00:15:53,700 --> 00:15:55,270 - OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH. 412 00:16:11,267 --> 00:16:14,227 - WELL, THAT WAS A DISASTER. 413 00:16:14,233 --> 00:16:16,603 - LOOK, ER, I KNOW I SAID I'D BE FINE 414 00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:17,830 WITH WHATEVER YOU DECIDE... 415 00:16:17,833 --> 00:16:18,933 - BUT... - BUT... 416 00:16:18,933 --> 00:16:21,203 I THINK YOU'D BE A REALLY AMAZING DOCTOR, 417 00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:22,470 AND THAT IF YOU LEAVE MED SCHOOL, 418 00:16:22,467 --> 00:16:24,867 YOU'LL BE REALLY, REALLY MAD AT YOURSELF. 419 00:16:24,867 --> 00:16:26,827 I JUST HAVE TO SAY THAT, OKAY? 420 00:16:26,833 --> 00:16:28,133 - OKAY. 421 00:16:31,667 --> 00:16:32,597 [buzzer] 422 00:16:47,633 --> 00:16:49,873 - HELLO. TINA REGRETS TO INFORM YOU 423 00:16:49,867 --> 00:16:52,097 THAT SHE WILL NOT BE HAVING INTERCOURSE WITH YOU TONIGHT, 424 00:16:52,100 --> 00:16:55,100 BUT SHE OFFERS THIS FRO-YO IN HER PLACE. 425 00:16:55,100 --> 00:16:56,670 GRATUITY NOT INCLUDED. 426 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,100 - HEY. 427 00:17:00,100 --> 00:17:02,570 - I'M SORRY. 428 00:17:02,567 --> 00:17:03,567 I'M REALLY SORRY. 429 00:17:03,567 --> 00:17:05,067 I, UM... 430 00:17:05,067 --> 00:17:06,067 I BOUGHT EGGS. 431 00:17:06,067 --> 00:17:07,697 THEY'RE NOT ORGANIC, 432 00:17:07,700 --> 00:17:11,630 AND, UH, I GOT THEM AT THIS REALLY SKETCHY DELI, 433 00:17:11,633 --> 00:17:13,233 SO A COUPLE ARE MISSING. 434 00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:17,070 IS THAT OKAY? 435 00:17:17,067 --> 00:17:18,597 - IT'S PERFECT. 436 00:17:19,833 --> 00:17:21,433 SO JUST TO BE CLEAR, THE EGGS ARE A METAPHOR, 437 00:17:21,433 --> 00:17:23,403 AND YOU WANNA COME IN, RIGHT? 438 00:17:31,333 --> 00:17:34,833 - WOW, THIS IS AWESOME. 439 00:17:34,833 --> 00:17:36,803 NO CARS, NO PEOPLE. 440 00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:38,600 [phone ringing] 441 00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:40,070 - GOD, ONE SEC. 442 00:17:40,067 --> 00:17:42,067 I'M SORRY, GO ON. 443 00:17:42,067 --> 00:17:44,397 - OH, JUST--I FEEL LIKE YOU CAN NEVER BE TRULY ALONE 444 00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:46,100 IN THE CITY, YOU KNOW? - YEAH. 445 00:17:46,100 --> 00:17:48,670 [phone ringing] 446 00:17:48,667 --> 00:17:52,297 SORRY. BACK TO YOUR DEEP THOUGHTS? 447 00:17:57,233 --> 00:17:58,703 - HEY, DO YOU HAVE A PEN? 448 00:17:58,700 --> 00:18:00,430 - WHY? 449 00:18:00,433 --> 00:18:01,633 ARE YOU GONNA DRAW MY CARICATURE, 450 00:18:01,633 --> 00:18:03,203 SO WE CAN ALWAYS REMEMBER THIS MOMENT? 451 00:18:05,567 --> 00:18:08,667 - LOOK, I LIKE YOU. 452 00:18:08,667 --> 00:18:11,127 I MEAN, EVERYONE WHO KNOWS ME KNOWS I LIKE YOU. 453 00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:13,633 IT'S KIND OF A RUNNING JOKE. 454 00:18:13,633 --> 00:18:15,173 I'VE SORT OF BEEN DREAMING 455 00:18:15,167 --> 00:18:17,627 ABOUT THIS MOMENT, IF I'M HONEST. 456 00:18:17,633 --> 00:18:20,533 BUT IN MY DREAMS, YOU DIDN'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND, YOU KNOW? 457 00:18:22,067 --> 00:18:25,067 THIS IS MY NUMBER. 458 00:18:25,067 --> 00:18:26,867 IT'S REAL. 459 00:18:26,867 --> 00:18:29,897 CALL ME IF THINGS EVER GET LESS COMPLICATED, OKAY? 460 00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:33,570 - OH. 461 00:18:33,567 --> 00:18:35,297 GOOD PENMANSHIP. - YEAH. 462 00:18:35,300 --> 00:18:36,400 I DIDN'T WANT THERE TO BE ANY CONFUSION 463 00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:39,070 WHAT WAS A TWO AND WHAT WAS A FIVE. 464 00:18:39,067 --> 00:18:41,127 - YOU SURE? 465 00:18:42,533 --> 00:18:45,073 - YEAH. 466 00:18:45,067 --> 00:18:46,397 I'M SURE. 467 00:18:52,767 --> 00:18:57,267 SO, UH, WORST OF LUCK WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND. 468 00:18:57,267 --> 00:19:00,067 REALLY HOPE IT DOESN'T WORK OUT. 469 00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:09,570 - I FEEL LIKE I GOT KICKED IN THE FACE BY A DONKEY. 470 00:19:09,567 --> 00:19:11,827 I'M NEVER DRINKING ALCOHOL AGAIN. 471 00:19:11,833 --> 00:19:13,303 WHY DID YOU LET ME DO THIS TO MYSELF? 472 00:19:13,300 --> 00:19:14,730 - CAN I BE SERIOUS A SEC? 473 00:19:14,733 --> 00:19:15,973 I'M PROUD OF YOU, JAY. 474 00:19:15,967 --> 00:19:17,427 YOU DID THE RIGHT THING WITH JANE. 475 00:19:17,433 --> 00:19:19,503 - YEAH, YOU'RE LIKE THAT GUY WHO FINDS A BAG OF MONEY 476 00:19:19,500 --> 00:19:21,070 IN THE STREET AND THEN RETURNS IT TO THE POLICE. 477 00:19:21,067 --> 00:19:22,267 - YEAH, AND THEN LATER THAT NIGHT 478 00:19:22,267 --> 00:19:25,097 WEEPS AND MASTURBATES TO SAID BAG OF MONEY. 479 00:19:25,100 --> 00:19:27,130 - YEAH, WELL, FOR BETTER OR WORSE, IT'S DONE. 480 00:19:27,133 --> 00:19:28,973 I'M MOVING ON. THERE ARE OTHER PANTS 481 00:19:28,967 --> 00:19:29,967 IN THE SEA. - UGH, GOD. 482 00:19:29,967 --> 00:19:31,127 STOP BEING SO MATURE. 483 00:19:31,133 --> 00:19:32,733 I'M ALREADY NAUSEOUS. 484 00:19:32,733 --> 00:19:33,733 DO YOU HAVE ANY MORE WATER? 485 00:19:33,733 --> 00:19:35,973 - YEAH, I GOT MORE WATER. 486 00:19:35,967 --> 00:19:38,767 SO PAUL, HUH? 487 00:19:38,767 --> 00:19:41,267 YOU'RE FINALLY GONNA TAKE THAT THING OFF THE MARKET? 488 00:19:41,267 --> 00:19:42,697 LET IT IN OUT OF THE RAIN? 489 00:19:42,700 --> 00:19:45,470 - YEAH. I MEAN, MAYBE. 490 00:19:45,467 --> 00:19:46,567 I DON'T KNOW, WE'LL SEE. 491 00:19:46,567 --> 00:19:48,067 DO YOU THINK HE'S TOO OLD FOR ME? 492 00:19:48,067 --> 00:19:49,167 I MEAN, HE HAS VITAMINS 493 00:19:49,167 --> 00:19:51,667 AND AN ELECTRIC CAN OPENER. 494 00:19:55,367 --> 00:19:57,927 - I LOVE JAY'S LITTLE TAR BEACH. 495 00:19:57,933 --> 00:20:00,203 - YEAH. STACE... 496 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:03,400 I DON'T WANNA GO BACK NEXT SEMESTER, SO... 497 00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:05,870 - OH. - I KNOW YOU HAD A CERTAIN... 498 00:20:05,867 --> 00:20:08,127 VIEW OF OUR LIFE, LIKE WE'D BE THIS... 499 00:20:08,133 --> 00:20:09,603 DOCTOR AND LAWYER POWER COUPLE, 500 00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:11,600 BUT I HOPE IT'LL BE OKAY THIS WAY. 501 00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:12,930 I MEAN, WHATEVER WAY. 502 00:20:12,933 --> 00:20:14,373 IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVE A PLAN HERE. 503 00:20:14,367 --> 00:20:16,597 - I THINK... 504 00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:19,470 I THINK YOU'LL BE GREAT AT WHATEVER YOU WANNA DO, 505 00:20:19,467 --> 00:20:21,397 AND I THINK WE'LL BE GREAT. 506 00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:24,700 - I SO DID NOT EXPECT YOU TO SAY THAT. 507 00:20:24,700 --> 00:20:29,100 - JUST DON'T BECOME, LIKE, A STAND-UP OR SOMETHING, OKAY? 508 00:20:29,100 --> 00:20:31,200 - NO PROMISES. - [chuckles] 509 00:20:35,467 --> 00:20:36,467 - ALL RIGHT, WHO NEEDS ANOTHER BEER? 510 00:20:36,467 --> 00:20:38,427 - ME. - RIGHT HERE. 511 00:20:46,300 --> 00:20:48,600 - GOT ANY WEED? 36593

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