All language subtitles for resident.aleb.x264

Dr. Vanderspeigle,
the new doctor has arrived.

The new doctor is gorgeous.

Please call me Dr. Ethan.

He has stupid hair.

Sam trusted you.

Maybe he left a prescription
pad out on the top of the desk.

I don't know
what you're talking about.

Yes, you do.

I can see it all over your face,

and I'm not blind anymore.

- Yeah, you look bad.
You must have Colorado Fever.

Never heard of Colorado Fever.

You just need
a little bit of caffeine.

- I'm gonna go have a lie down.
- That's a good idea.

Have a sip on that.

Whatever creature was piloting

this ship will be coming back.

I want you to bring it to me,

no matter what it takes.

We've got a guest at the party.

- Roger that.
Move in.

The biggest misconception
humans have about the universe

is that it's enormous.

It's not.
It's tiny.

It's all so finite

and smells of slightly burnt
caramel corn.

I understand
why these dumb humans

don't know anything
about the extended universe.

They've never been there.

But the universe
has been to them.

- What's going on?
What are you doing?

Where are we?

We have a second subject
on the scene.

Confirm engagement
of the primary target.

- Negative, stand by.
- Roger that, standing by.

Hello.

I thought you were napping.

Napping?

You mean knocked out
from the sleeping pills

you slipped into my coffee?

Yes... "napping."

I found them
in the bloody drawer.

Faked falling asleep
so I could follow you here.

Why did you do that to me?

What are doing out here

in the middle
of the night alone?

The problem is we're not alone.

- Honey.
- Hm?

The only reason I'm out here

is that I needed space.

What?

Yes, space
like husbands often say

- in television shows...
- Oh.

And since I am your husband
and nothing else,

I took one of my nightly drives
looking for nothing

and ended up at this
random place for no reason.

Damn it.

And I enjoy rocks

and dirt.

You want space?

I hope you find it.

Oh.

But let's kiss and make up.

We can make it work, you and me.

You are my gal,
and I'm your fella.

Love means never having
to say you're sorry.

It's nothing.

It's just
some marriage squabble.

- I'll see you later...
- Yeah.

- At our home.
- Shoot him anyway.

- Stand down, Sergeant!
I repeat, stand down.

- Roger that.
Standing down.

There is something
so wrong with you.

Hm.

They stole my ship.

They know I'm stranded here.
They must be searching for me.

I would grow a mustache
as a disguise,

but then I'd have to get a job

as a firefighter or a pedophile.

Hm.

We should talk.

Yes?

What are you making for dinner?

Ugh, I'm leaving.

I can't spend another night
here with you.

I like it when you make
the mini chickens.

- You're not listening.
I'm leaving you.

You said that once,
but you're still here.

I don't want her to go.
I'm very hungry.

I need her to make me food.
I must get her to stay.

I have an idea.

Stay.

- Nope.
- That didn't work.

I can't live like this.

I feel alienated, lied to.

Are you upset
because I drugged you?

I was trying to be kind.

On television, the Three Stooges

knock each other out
with skillets.

I don't even know
who you are anymore.

Goodbye, Harry.

- Wait, no.
I don't like this.

- Stop.
- Just answer me one question.

Did you ever love me?

Once.

Thank you
for finally being honest.

Huh.

Um...

Hey, have you looked
at Max Hawthorne's file?

Is that the one who pees the bed

or the one who sees monsters?

Uh, well, it's called
teraphobia, I guess.

- Hm.
- I've never heard of it.

If you could just...

I've known Max forever,

and he's never shown anything
like this before, you know?

Hmm.

Don't you think it's extreme

that Dr. Vanderspeigle
is suggesting sending him away?

Well, my parents sent me
to a school in Connecticut

- when I was a kid.
- Oh.

I don't mean to brag,
but I think I turned out okay.

They sent you away
for a medical condition?

No, I was really good
at lacrosse.

Oh.

- Mm, thanks.
- You're welcome.

That was...

no help at all.

Did you ever notice
anything unusual

about Jay's behavior?

She was always
a little shifty and quiet.

Quiet how?

Like how drug addicts are quiet?

Like she was just sitting
around daydreaming

about her next sniff and puff?

"Sniff and puff."

Just quiet...

like she was planning something.

And once she microwaved fish
in the kitchen.

So rude.

We have someone at work
who digs into people's yogurts

and steals
the fruit from the bottom.

Is there a problem here?

They think Jay stole
the prescription pads.

I said she was nice
and would never do that.

Well, Jay didn't steal the pads,

so thanks for stopping by.

Wait, wait, wait, wait,
somebody calling themselves

"the Pharmacist"
stole that prescription pad.

And I have reason to believe
that same someone

used the botulinum toxin
to poison Sam Hodges.

Well, we can't really be sure
they're connected.

- Wait, we can't?
Did you just say "can't"?

I done told you
about can't, right?

It's negative.

Can't you can
every now and then?

I can.

Well, you can't
a lot more than you can.

I don't really know
what you're saying,

- and Asta is gone now.
- What?

What?
Asta!

Damn it.
Asta!

Get back in... hey!

Hey, Asta!

Hey, you better
put that shit in park.

You see this badge?
What the hell you doing?

Hey, listen to me, damn it.
This is a big deal, all right?

- Those pads are like gold.
- You think I don't know that?

Look, I know you like Jay,

but she goes to the same school
as the pill popper,

and she works at the clinic.

Now, if it wasn't her,
then who then, huh?

Who else at the clinic
might have done it?

It wasn't Jay.

Oh.

Looks like somebody
wants to dance, huh?

♪ Shake those knees,
Miss Twelvetrees ♪

Okay, no dancing today.
Some other time.

Hey, Sheriff, I just want
to say thank you again

for the update
on the murder investigation.

You're doing really great work.

You know, that theory
about the insulin bottles

being a possible method
of delivery is genius.

Oh, thank you, Mayor.

I've been busting my ass
on this one.

Yeah, me too.

I have been busting
my ass so much.

Like, real busy busting
the old hump,

so whew.

Okay, good, good.

Why you acting all weird, huh?

Come on.
We got a murder to solve.

Now it's we, great.

This is my fault.

I should have destroyed my ship,

but I wanted to keep it
so I could get home.

Now they have it.
What do I have?

Nothing.

Just this stupid human body

with two useless nipples
that don't even produce milk.

Oh, no, is that why I
haven't found my device yet?

If they have my ship,
maybe they have my device too.

Ugh!

As I was allowing myself
to feel my feelings,

I couldn't help but wonder.

How do humans deal with failure?

The answer came to me
in one simple word...

Medication.

I feel better already.

Huh?

Isabelle.

Isabelle.

You sure do sleep a lot.

You know,
that's a sign of depression.

You.

You are that guy who doesn't
have life in him anymore.

Why are you here?
You're supposed to be dead.

I was hungry.

Thought I'd cook up
one of these steaks

that you packed me in.

Can I have some?

Say please.

- Please.
- No.

I heard you screwing my wife

from the freezer
the other night.

Sounded like a monkey
killing a dolphin.

You're not very good at sex.

Such a loser.

I am not a loser.

I have a handsome face
and a nice house.

That's my face.

This is my house and my wife!

You have nothing.
You lost your device.

You can't even find
your spaceship.

You had one simple mission.
You completely failed.

And that makes you
more than just a loser.

That makes you human.

Don't call me that.

That's the most hurtful thing
anyone has ever said to me.

You wanted to destroy
the human race.

The human race destroyed you,

you sad, pathetic,
stupid little shit stick.

Now that
is the most hurtful thing

anyone has ever said to me.

Still dreaming.

Oh.

Mm, what an asshole.

Commitment,
community, compassion.

The Donnelly Institute,

providing the highest quality
of care to your children.

- What do you think?
They have horses.

Why do you hate me?

- We love you.
- Yeah.

And we don't use the word hate
in this family, remember?

What about the other day
when you dropped a glass

in the kitchen?

You pulled out your hair
and said, "I hate myself!"

Mm, yeah, well,
Daddy was having a bad day.

Can we focus
on what we just watched?

It's a very special place,
Max, for special kids.

Yeah, think of it like Hogwarts.

- Yeah.
- And you're Harry Potter.

- Mm-hmm.
- Harry Potter is a freak.

Mm, child wizard, pretty cool.

I know that this decision

might be difficult
for you to understand.

Fine!

Wait, did Dr. Vanderspeigle
call you,

you know,
in case he changed his mind?

Dr. Vanderspeigle isn't
the town physician anymore,

and the new doctor approved
the paperwork yesterday.

You have to trust us that this
is what's best for you.

Our decision is final.

Hey, I think that went okay.

♪ I will bring you
to your knees ♪

- This is my life now...
Human being.

So I have to live
like humans do:

occupy my time
at a job I loathe,

slowly rotting away until I die.

What are my choices?

Oh!

I have one
low fat cow's milk latte

with an extra shot
of agitation for Karen.

There you go.

I waited my whole life for this.

I love Jerry Orbach.

Harry, Harry...

Harry, Harry, snap out of it.

What are you doing here?

My parents
are still sending me away.

Didn't you talk to them?
We had a truce.

Of course.

I think I told them
that you should rot

- in that psych hospital.
- What?

- I'm not good at truces.
Now go away.

I have a lot
of being human to do.

You want to be a human,
then don't have alien stuff

in the back
of your truck, dummy.

Stupid.

"Models needed."

Yes, yes.

I don't know why
you didn't just tell them

that Jimmy stole the pad.

Because I wasn't sure
it was him.

It's not like I had any proof.

Proof-smloof.

Sometimes, you just got
to trust your gut, you know?

To be honest, you really do

have good instincts
about people.

- Ah.
- Always have.

High school, remember,
you were the only one

who said that I shouldn't
date Rob Sharp.

He had a panel van
with a mattress in the back.

- I know.
It was subtle.

Somehow you knew
he was bad news.

Who's this?
Ooh.

Judy.

Whassup?

What?
Wait, really?

♪ I got this life to fix ♪

♪ Threw it all
out in a ditch ♪

- He's been here for hours.
I have to close up.

I can't get the guy to leave.

First time
you've had that problem.

He left you pretty quick
after you gave him stink hand.

That was your cat.

Hey, don't talk shit
about Kevin.

- Would you guys stop it?
Jesus.

- Why is he here?
- Oh.

He was applying for a job,
but my boss

said Harry was overqualified.

I guess he's got,
like, a PTSD from Stamford.

Babe, is the spray
you put in those shoes

a little toxic?

A little bit, yeah.

Thanks, Judy.

Die, inferior species.

Hey, Harry.

Uh, Judy says
you've been here all day.

Maybe you want
to go home to your wife?

My wife left me,
and I lost my job,

- and my life is horrible.
- Wow.

Sounds like you're
writing country music.

No.

Oh, Isabelle left?

I'm so sorry.
She was interesting.

- Yeah, yeah.
- Can we do anything?

No, I already tried
booze and pills,

but they didn't make me
feel any better.

Jesus, Harry, you're a doctor.

You can't use booze
and pills to feel better.

- Yeah.
- Judy, get the pot.

♪ Build it back
brick by brick ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa ♪

♪ Whoa,
whoa ♪

This is awesome.

My stomach can't get full.

- These noodles are bomb.
- I'm still depressed.

But it doesn't matter.
I don't care.

You're doing depression right.

The key is to embrace it.

Once you accept
that you've got nothing,

then you've got
nothing left to lose.

The low point,
that's where freedom lives.

That's horrible.

You know, my dad used to say

that when your life...

Wait, I had it.

I'm... I'm so high.

I'm on tenterhooks.

I need to know what Dan said.

- Hello, cousin.
We have been waiting for you.

So why do you look like them?

I had to blend in.

You know how it is.
That's what we do.

- You are here just in time.
Things are getting bad for us.

There is an expression on Earth.

"I have good news
and bad news."

The bad news is I crashed,
lost my device,

- and have failed my mission.
- Well, what's the good news?

My friends
didn't order the octopus?

Look at Harry.

I don't think
he's ever been high.

It's so strange.

He is so fried.

I think there's
something wrong with that guy.

Who?

What if he's a sociopath

that has wives
all over the country?

What if I had become
his Patience wife?

- I might have died...
- Oh, my God.

- In a pyre.
- Oh, yeah.

- What's a pyre?
- I don't know.

You cannot give up
on your mission.

You need to help us.

Our people depend on...
Oh, my God.

Are you high?
You're baked.

Look, my brother's been
swimming around for six years

with a plastic
six-pack container

wrapped around his ass,
and you're here smoking bowls?

Just so long
as you're having a good time.

Panic-inducing pressure
is not an effective tool

on people
who smoke marijuana, man.

I'm sorry.

Look, you already know
the answer.

I can see it inside you

next to a large pile
of udon noodles.

But I don't... wait, of course,

the boy Mike can help.

No, wait, Mark.
Ma... Max.

That's it.
I have to go.

If anybody asks,

please tell them
I landed on purpose.

Don't tell them I crashed.
See you.

I'm in a box of water
in the middle of a restaurant.

Who am I gonna tell?

And break us out!
Ah, crap.

We should have opened with that.

This is Asta.

She's single,
and she likes to read

very terrible beach books.

That's true.

What are you doing?

I wanted chips, and it's easier

to break into your house
than a grocery store.

- You can't just sneak in here.
I'm gonna install cameras.

Why do you smell
like that kid at school

that wears his jacket inside?

At the diner, you said

that there was "alien stuff"
in the back of my truck.

How did you know that?
It's under a tarp.

- Because of the green glow.
- You can see that?

I couldn't even see that.

It must be
the same genetic mutation

that allows you to see through
my molecular reconstruction.

What were we talking about?

- The green glow.
- Oh, right.

If you can see that,

maybe you can help me
find my device.

Hey, can you have your mother

put popcorn
on the shopping list?

I'm not doing anything for you

unless you get me out of going
to that dumb school in Georgia.

Oh, right, okay.

I'll help you get out of going
to that dumb school in Georgia.

Hey...

can you have your mother put
popcorn on the shopping list?

Get out!

I peed in your bed.

- Gross!
- What, what?

- What, what?
- Get out.

We gonna solve this murder.
I can feel it.

- You feel it, Deputy?
- I can feel it.

I told you
they'd probably put us

- on the "Dateline" or something.
- Wow, can you imagine?

My grandma
would love me finally.

I'm talking about me and Cletus.

Do you want to be
on the "Dateline"?

Do you want to be
on the "Dateline,"

you cute little son of a bitch?

Hey.

I know who stole
the prescription pad.

It was Jimmy.

- You hear that, Cletus?
We got ourselves a lead.

- There's been a mistake.
- A mistake?

What kind of mistake?

- I misdiagnosed your son.
- You what?

I re-examined Max's file,
and I concluded

that he is just an average kid

with an overimaginative mind
like Dr. Seuss

who, as it turns out,
isn't even a real doctor,

so shame on him.

Wait, so you're saying that
we don't have to send Max away?

It appears not.

- Wow, well, that's great news.
Isn't it, honey?

Do you have any idea
what you've put us through?

We haven't been able
to sleep or eat.

You've driven a wedge
between me and my husband.

There's a wedge?

What kind of a doctor
misdiagnoses a child?

Mrs. Hawthorne,
if I can jump in,

I'm sorry to say that sometimes
doctors do make mistakes.

Do you?

No, never.

- It was no one's fault.
- Wrong, it's your fault.

Right.

Okay,
thought that was good news.

- Thank you.
- Well, mm-hmm.

- The door's right here.
You can see it.

Why not just get a crowbar
and pry this bitch open?

Because we've never encountered

this type of material before.

How about dynamite?

Okay, you see what
I'm talking about?

Well, you remember what I said

about the "death" and "crazy"?

Please just give me more time.

Okay, but don't
make me regret it.

It worked.

My parents
aren't sending me away.

This man enjoys
the taste of human blood.

It's very funny.

I don't think
that's supposed to be funny.

This is a piece of my spaceship.

Can you see the green glow?

No.

Buzz off.

How about now?

Yeah, I see it.

The energy from our technology

can only be seen
by your naked eye.

I will construct something
to assist your eyeball.

You will help me find my device.

- Why?
What does it do?

It will cook your monkey ass.

Consider it a radio.

Let me tell you
what I think happened.

You snuck into
Grandma's kitchen.

You got your hand
caught in the cookie jar

and thought, "Well,
now I got to kill Grandma."

- My grandma died of pneumonia.
- My condolences.

Nonetheless, you stole
the pad from the clinic,

and when Sam caught you,
you poisoned him, didn't you?

- That's crazy.
- My thoughts exactly.

I swear, I didn't kill anybody.

I already told him that.
God forbid he listens to me.

You know, I worked with a guy
who never listened to me once.

You know Bert
from the lumberyard?

- Oh, yeah.
I went to school with Bert.

Right?

He was always
the same way, right?

Gets his mind made up
and then is like, "Forget it."

- There's no talking to him.
- No way, there's nothing...

Excuse me, excuse me,
sorry to interrupt

this little stroll
down who gives a shit lane,

but is there something
you want to say to me, Deputy?

Sir, someone who plans
a delayed murder

by inserting botulinum
into an insulin vial

isn't the same idiot
who swipes prescription pads

from an unlocked desk.
No offense.

- None taken.
- Yeah.

I like where
you're going with this.

The Pharmacist
wasn't a murderer.

His only motivation
was to sell drugs to students.

Wait, what?

He sold that stuff to kids?

Oh, you got something
you want to tell us?

Fine, I took the pad,

and I sold it to make
a couple of bucks.

How was I supposed to know
he was gonna sell it to kids?

He was just some dude
who worked at the high school.

Mm, seems like that's math
you could have worked out.

So if you're not the Pharmacist,

tell me who is.

- What's on your face?
- I'm undercover.

I am a firefighter named Albert.

Take it off.

Mr. Wagner went to prison
for looking like that.

Come on.

Whoa.

Yes, this is it.

Here, we can use
this old radioscope.

Stop playing with that.
Grab that.

Yes.

We can use this old telescope.

Grab these wires.

Yes, lightbulbs.

- What are the lightbulbs for?
- The lamp on my bedside table.

Now I don't have
to go to the store.

- Any available unit...
- Oh, no.

There is a cat stuck
on the cell tower again.

Officer assistance is requested.

Tell you what,
I'd feel better about this

if Cletus was here.
Poor little guy has got a cold.

I set him up at home in bed,
you know, with a cup of tea.

Well, I'm here,
and I'm actually a human being,

so that's not too bad.

Yeah, I get it...

Richard Ferguson...

or should I call you
"the Pharmacist"?

Oh, hell no.

Hell no!
Get back here.

Hey, hey, damn it!

Oh, you fast.

Hey, hey, get back here!

Hey, slow your ass down, hey!

Jumping up stairs now?
God damn it!

Hey, get back here, boy!

Hey, hey!
Damn it.

If I pull something,
I'ma take it out your ass.

Do you hear me?

Hey, stop, you son of a bitch!

Get back here.
Hey, damn it, stop there!

Hey, hey, slow down!
Slow your ass down!

Hey, what...
Where'd you come from?

Well, it's my old
stomping grounds, sir.

I know all the shortcuts.
Roll over.

- Get your ass up.
Get up.

You've got the right
to remain silent...

Whoa, whoa, whoa,
Deputy, "you've"?

That's a contraction.
You can't contract Miranda.

Watch how it's done.

You have the right
to remain silent.

Anything you say can

and will be used against you
in a court of law.

Oh, shit!

Why do you have books?
Don't you own a computer?

These amulets
were discovered in Colombia.

They're small,
golden aircraft replicas

made by
the Quimbaya civilization.

Some of them date
as far back as 1,000 B. C.

Now for anyone paying attention,

that's almost 3,000 years
before air travel was invented.

Who cares?

I've never heard
of the kumbayas.

Quimbaya.

Anyway, I'm not surprised
you've never heard of them.

They don't exist anymore.

But it's believed
that the Quimbaya learned

this aerospace technology
from an alien race.

Then their civilization
completely vanished.

Ufologists are convinced
that extraterrestrials

completely wiped them
from the Earth.

So what are you trying to say?

Here.

Look at this amulet.

I think this alien
is here to kill everybody.

Are you feeling any better?

Look, we both did
what we thought

was best for Max.
You're a great mother.

Don't be nice to me.

I don't deserve it.

I almost sent
our perfectly healthy son away.

Hey, how about I light
this candle that I made?

It has sage and lavender,

and it will calm you.

For God's sake, just...

just tell me that I'm wrong.

That is what I need
from you right now.

I want a partner
who challenges me.

Okay.

You were wrong about this one.

- Okay?
- Yes.

It's okay.
It's okay.

It's okay.

Yeah.

- I love you.
- I love you too.

Mm.

- Okay?
- Whew.

- No, you're right.
That feels good.

Yeah.

Yeah, 'cause,
you know, at times,

you can be a little controlling.

Okay.

I mean, not a lot,
just a little.

You know, maybe a little bossy.

Like, sometimes you get...

Sometimes you get upset
if, like, people

don't laugh at your jokes.

Plus, you're kind of
the 12-items-or-less police

at the supermarket.

Wait, honey.

Well, this thing
obviously doesn't work.

Paperwork's all finished, sir.

Wasn't yesterday great?

It's like
we're Batman and Robin.

Kapow!
Boof!

Of course, you were Batman.

Oh, right, you're not talking.
That's very rare.

Is something wrong?

Deputy, as your superior,
I feel it is my duty

to be honest with you
about your job performance.

- Okay.
- All right.

If I'm being honest,

I felt your behavior yesterday
was a little disrespectful.

What?

The Miranda rights
are kind of my thing.

Okay, you know that.

Just seemed odd to me
that you'd be so quick

to try to jump in
and take them for yourself.

- I'm disrespectful?
- Yeah.

And while we're at it,
I don't really feel like

you been all that nice
to Cletus either.

I mean, he's got feelings.
He is a human being, all right?

He's just in a little
bitty doggy body.

It's mean.

Here you go, Sheriff,

the to-go hamburger
you ordered for Cletus.

- Thank you.
I'll take that.

Oh.

- Is this disrespectful?
- What are...

What about this?

What the hell
are you doing, huh?

- What are you doing?
- Disrespectful?

You're the one
that's disrespectful.

You don't respect me,
and you never have.

Listen, I'ma tell you
just like my daddy tell me.

Respect is not an entitlement.

You can't get it just by
standing there asking for it.

You earn it
through your actions, Deputy,

and quite frankly,
I can tell you right now,

punching burgers, that shit
there ain't gonna cut it.

Okay, well, how about this
for an action?

I quit.
Does that cut it?

I'll eat this tonight

because it's not right
to waste food!

Shut up!

♪ And that's
a long, long time ♪

That's some shit.

I'm centering the telescope

on the mountain.

All right, okay.

Here we go.

Come on.

Start the telescope here.

If you see any green glow,
zoom into it.

Do you see anything?

Yeah, I see a mountain

and a gray cloud
that looks like a bunny.

I mean anything important
like the green energy.

Oh, that.

Yeah, there's green energy
under the bunny.

- Yes.
- It might be more of a possum.

Shut up about the animal cloud.

Aim the telescope
at the green energy

and zoom all the way in.

Cool.

There it is.

There's my device.

Wait, that's on the glacier.
You can't go there.

Grab that green bag.

Go!

I think you were right
to tell them about Jimmy.

I know,
but it just doesn't feel good.

It should.

Those drugs were being sold
to high school students.

That's horrible.

And definitely
something I wish was happening

when we were in high school.

- Harry, Harry, Harry!
- D'arce.

- Don't go.
It's too dangerous.

Not for me.

Harry!

Harry!

- Slow down, kid.
- Hey, Max, hi.

Hello, Miss Twelvetrees.

Storm coming, better get home.

What are you,
a tiny sea captain?

- Oh.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hey.

What were you doing
with Dr. Vanderspeigle?

Max, please will you tell us?

Where's Harry going?

- Max.
- He's headed to the glacier.

- What?
- What?

Why?

Talk to my lawyer!

Does he have a lawyer?

I'm so close
to completing my mission.

Once I eradicate humanity,

I'll return to my planet a hero,

and they will
sculpt statues of me.

Of course, my people
don't know how to sculpt.

That's okay.
I can teach them.

But then I'd have to learn
how to sculpt.

That's a lot of work.

True heroes don't need statues.

Maybe just a plaque.

Finally.

I see him!

Ah.

Ah!

We've gone through
a battery of tests.

So far, we don't have
any anomalies.

Everyone, all teams,
stay eyes on.

Something initiated this.

The ship is tethered.

Holy shit.
I know where the alien is!

Harry!

Harry, don't move.

You could be on a snow bridge.

I need to get a line on you.

I was just shopping for snow.

I'm okay.
You can go.

Asta!