All language subtitles for Sanford and Son - 02x17 - Lamont Goes African.DVDRip.Addic7ed.com.srt (English)

Fred, this reception's
really bad today.

Yeah. None of my glasses
seem to work.

I can't even see the picture
with these.

But I can see you
all right, Bubba.

Look like you got
a 24-inch mouth.

Glasses won't do
no good.

It's the set.
You got to adjust it.

I guess you're right.
I'll adjust it.

This TV is just like
my cousin T.J.

You had to beat him
to get him to go to work.

Well, I give up.

I've asked Lamont for a long time
to get me cable TV.

Cable TVwould
clear that picture up.

- Why won't he get it?
- 'Cause he's a cheap son of...

Hello, Lamont.
We were just talking about you.

And I got a good idea of
what you were talking about.

- Cable TV. I don't want to discuss it.
- But, Lamont...

No "buts. " You want cable TV so
you can watch old Frankenstein movies.

You ain't foolin' nobody. I'm tellin'
you, your days of leisure are over.

I'm gonna turn over a new leaf,
and so are you.

What does that mean?

It means we're gonna get some ujima
in this house startin' today.

- Some who?
- Some ujima.

- You ever hear of ujima?
- No, but I know Big Jima.

Yeah, she's a stripper
over at that topless place.

Would you two listen to me?
Ujima is a Swahili word...

and it means "collective work
and responsibility. "

That means that you're responsible
for some of the work around here...

and you're gonna start living up
to your responsibilities as of now.

Well, how do you say
cable TV in Swahili?

You get cable TV and
I'll ujima all over this place.

That's enough
about cable TV.

I gotta go to work.
Odabo.

What'd you say?

I said odabo.
That's the Yoruba word for good-bye.

Well, what's Yoruba?

You don't know nothin',
do you?

The Yorubas are blacks...

and there's over ten million of them
in the southwestern corner of Nigeria.

Their ghetto is
almost as bad as ours.

It's a country, Pop.

Why you speaking all this
Yoruba and Swahili?

You have enough trouble
with English.

Say, is this Swahili
anything like pig latin?

It does sound a lot like it,
don't it, Bubba?

Swahili is nothing
like pig latin.

Talkin' to you and Bubba
is like talkin' to two children.

There's work to be done.
Odabo.

You'll miss my huggin'

You'll miss my kissin'

You'll miss me, honey

When I'm gone away

Lamont?

Lamont?
That you, son?

Must be hearing things.

Gettin' old.

There's the truck.
Must be somewhere around here.

Lamont!
You upstairs?

Before you make any smart remarks, maybe
I'd better explain something to you.

You don't have to explain
nothin' to me.

But if you're walkin' down the
street and some guy's following you...

you better walk fast.

I knew you was gonna have
something smart to say about it.

I mean, what should I say
if my son comes home wearing a dress?

Next thing,
you'll be wearing panty hose.

Like on that commercial...
Our L 'eggs fit your legs

They hug you, they hold you
They never let you go

This is not a dress.
This is a dashiki.

A dashiki is a traditional
African shirt for men.

To me it look like
a traditional dress for a woman.

Because you've been conditioned to
judge everything by western standards.

I suppose there ain't no use
in me trying to enlighten you.

I don't need to be
no lighter.

That enlightening stuff went out with
Conkaleen hair straightener.

"If your hair
is short and nappy...

Conkaleen will make it happy. "

You don't want to know nothing, so
I'm not gonna try to tell you nothing.

Listen. What'd you say the name
of this thing is? A duck-shaker?

A dashiki.

It looks like
a mattress cover to me.

- How much you pay for it?
- $13.

Thirteen bucks!
You paid 13 bucks for a cotton blouse?

Pop, this is a genuine import.
It came all the way from Africa.

I don't care if it came
from Haile Selassie's closet.

It ain't worth no 13 bucks.

I mean, what's the use?
The whole world would come to an end...

before you'd even begin
to understand anything.

I can understand this.
This ain't worth no 13 bucks.

You paid 13 bucks for a cotton blouse
with no sleeves in it.

- Listen, Lamont...
- And don't call me by that slave name.

- What kind of name?
- Slave name.

The name of a slave that was
handed down to him by a slave master.

- What are you talkin' about?
- What my name used to be.

Your name has always been
Lamont Sanford.

Ever since I can remember,
your name's Lamont Sanford.

You was named
after Lamont Lomack.

He pitched 46 scoreless,
no-hit, no-run innings in 1932.

And he wasn't pitching
for no slave master.

He was pitchin' for
the Homestead Grays.

Look, now,
I know that, Pop.

But see, now I've taken a new name
to reflect the new me.

Now, remember I was telling you
I was gonna turn over a new leaf?

Well, my new name and my new clothes and
my new language is all a part of that.

Oh, yeah? Hmm.

Well, you see, Pop...
Now, I'm a black man, right?

You can say that again.

Come on, Pop, this is serious. I should
have a name, a language and clothes...

that lets everybody know
that I'm a black man.

People would know you were a black
man if your name was Spiro T. Agnew.

All they had to do
was just look at you.

Would you listen to me for a minute?
'Cause this is really serious.

We shouldn't have these names. Do you
know any white people with names like...

Lumumba, Kasavubu
or Tachaka?

I don't even know no black people
with names like that.

That's just the point, Pop.

Black people in America have been cut
off from their homeland for so long...

they don't even know the names
of their ancestors.

My ancestor's name
was Sanford.

My father's name was Sanford,
his father's name was Sanford...

his father's father and their father...
we all been Sanfords.

And I've only been cut off of
my homeland a little over 30 years.

And I suppose that's when
your ancestors left Africa?

No, that's when
I left St. Louis.

- I'm talking about before that.
- Before that?

That was ancient history.
No need to bring that up.

What we called ourselves before we
called ourselves Sanford is the thing...

that's important because that reflects
where we originally came from.

That's why I've chosen a name
that leaves no doubt about my origin.

Well, what's your
original new name?

Kalunda.

- Ka-who?
- Kalunda.

If you think I'm gonna change
the sign from Sanford and Son...

to Sanford and Kalunda,
you crazy!

Well, you better get used to it 'cause
I ain't answering to Lamont no more.

- Listen, Lamont...
- Not Lamont. Kalunda.

Kalunda.
Say it.

Calendar.

Hey, man, just say it right.
Come on. Kalunda.

- Kalunda.
- That's it.

Kalunda.
I just need more practice.

"I'd like you to meet
my son, Kalunda. "

"Package for
Mr. Kalunda. "

"Call for Kalunda!"

That sounds Italian.
You sure that's African?

It's Congolese.
You see, I met this Nigerian sister...

and she told me I look like
a member of the Baluba tribe...

one of the largest tribes
in the Congo.

Kalunda.

It just don't sound right
for a junk dealer.

With a name like Kalunda, you should
be driving an elephant, not a truck.

Listen,
you'll get used to...

What's that I smell?
It smells like sausage.

Yeah, that's
your favorite lunch...

sausage sandwiches
and potato salad.

I'm not eatin' that.
That's pig.

That's not pig.
That's sausage.

- It came from a pig. I'm not eatin' it.
- Good. There'll be more for me.

- You're not eating it either.
- Yes, I am. Gimme them sausages.

Wait a minute, Pop.
Now, it's a proven fact...

that the human body
was not designed to digest pork.

It's full of fats and cholesterol
which leads to clogged arteries...

and heart attacks
which could kill you.

If you eat them sausage,
it's the same as taking poison.

Well, I'm gonna make me a nice
poison sandwich. Gimme them sausages.

Wait a minute.
Come over here now.

From now on, Pop,
we gonna start eatin' righteously.

Which means that no more pig
is to be brought into this house.

- No more pork chops?
- Bacon either.

Ham, spareribs,
pork roast.

Pigs feet, pig ears,
neck bones... none of that stuff.

"Strikalene," fat back,
salt pork, lard.

- No more chitlins?
- No more chitlins either.

Listen, what are you... What are you
trying to do? Starve me to death?

Why you changin' the way you dressing,
gettin' that weird name and stuff...

and then putting me on
an immediate crash diet?

That's how change is supposed
to come about, Pop... fast.

If I had to be struck
by lightning...

I'd rather be struck a little bit
at a time than all at once.

Forget it 'cause we not gonna eat pork.
I've got friends coming this evening.

I'll drop you at the supermarket so we
can get some decent food in this house.

I made out a shopping list. I want you
to take this. Come on, let's go.

But, son, wait a minute.
What about them sausages?

That's pig and I want you to
get rid of it. Now, let's go.

Hey, Pop,
what are you doing in there?

I'm gettin' rid
of the pig.

And he won't even let me eat
no pork or nothin'.

You ought to see some of the stuff
he asked me to buy.

You know, like fruit
and sunflower seeds...

stuff that you'd feed
to a hamster.

I wonder what got
into Lamont anyway.

Well, he just say he wanted to prove
once and for all that he's black.

You mean,
he's been tryin' to pass?

No, Bubba. He just wanted
to trace his ancestors...

back to prehistoric times, like
even before there was a United States.

- I know where my ancestors come from.
- Where?

- Now it's called Memphis, Tennessee.
- Oh, Bubba.

Bubba, thanks for helping
me home with the groceries.

Gimme that.
Get the door for me.

- I'll see you later.
- All right.

- What?
- Bye.

Hey, Lamont. What is going on here?
You going trick-or-treatin'?

What is this?

A man's home is supposed
to reflect his culture.

Well, if you want
to reflect my culture...

put up a picture of
Billy Eckstine and Joe Lewis.

- Did you get all the groceries?
- I didn't get everything.

I got the mangos
and the fruit.

They didn't have no coconuts
and them almonds.

Listen, what these friends
of yours got, a pet monkey?

No.

Well, I got as much of the stuff
as I could. I don't know what there is.

I was gonna ask you to make fresh fruit
salad, but I don't think we have time.

- Did you get the sodas?
- Yeah.

What kind of friends do you got that
you goin' through all this trouble for?

Oyamo and Olaiya.

Your mama and who?

Oyamo and Olaiya.

Well, is that a man and woman,
or two men or...

Oyamo is the brother and Olaiya is
the Nigerian sister I told you about.

Now, you know Oyamo.

I don't know. All the people I know
got ordinary names.

Like Bubba,
and Leroy and Skillet.

You see, Oyamo
used to be named Rollo.

- You mean, we lost Rollo?
- Now Rollo is named Oyamo.

And it's through him
that I met sister Olaiya.

Well, if Rollo's connected
with it, it's a racket.

Why are you saying that, Pop?
He's serious about his Africanism.

Well, if there's some money to be made,
Rollo would become Eskimo.

Now, listen.
Oyamo and Olaiya will be here soon.

And I want you
to be nice to her.

In Africa, it is a cardinal sin
to be inhospitable.

Well, if she's dumb enough
to be with Rollo...

she's dumb enough
to be in the hospital.

You go upstairs and change while
I put the rest of these groceries away.

- Change? Change for what?
- So that you look presentable.

In Africa, you would not receive
guests looking like that.

If I was in Africa,
I'd change.

This is Central Avenue,
so this is it.

It's too late. They're here. Listen.
Try to remember what I said, Pop.

- And please don't embarrass me.
- I ain't gonna embarrass you.

- Try to be cool. You know, sit there...
- I'm all right.

Hey, you think you can remember
my African name?

It's like a cigar...
Belinda.

- Kalunda.
- Close.

- Bye.
- Pop!

I'd like to introduce to you
my father, Mr. Fred Sanford.

How do you do, Mr. Sanford?
I am Olaiya.

Well, it's probably
the water.

Shall we all sit down?

- Guess I'll go to bed.
- Would you sit down!

I'm sleepy, Lamont.
I mean, Kolumbo.

You have some very interesting
pieces here, Mr. Sanford.

Yeah. I coordinated
all this stuff myself.

He brought that jungle junk
here this afternoon.

Uh, Pop, why don't you offer
our guests some refreshments?

- Do I have to remind you of everything?
- Yeah.

Got fruits and nuts.
I'd bring you some...

but promise you won't drop the shells
on my good rug.

Thank you very much.

I got a mango too,
but it's overripe.

So I'll cut the rotten part off
and fix it up for you.

Excuse me.
I'll go and help him.

Kalunda is very disrespectful
to his father, isn't he?

Is this the way he speaks
to him all the time?

Every time I come here.

He's very disrespectful.

Ladies first.

No, root beer.

Asante is Swahili,
and it means "thank you. "

That's pig latin
for "you're welcome. "

What is this...
how do you say, pig latin?

It's nothin'.
It's childish, dumb talk.

It is not childish, dumb talk.
It's sort of language with a code.

So if you want to talk about somebody,
and they don't know it...

you can say what you want to
'cause they don't understand it.

Oh. Then it is similar
in concept to Swahili.

It also was, as you say, made up
of several African languages...

so that the many African nations on
the continent could speak to each other.

You know, I didn't know we had
that much in common.

And besides,
you're a beautiful lady.

Yeah. C'est si bon.

Pop, you said you wanted to go to bed.
I think now would be a good time.

I'm not sleepy.
I'm enjoying myself.

I wish I had met you 30 years ago
when I had, when I had hair.

Before I had this hole
in my natural.

I like you just as you are,
Mr. Sanford.

Yeah, but 30 years ago
I had a head full of hair...

and I had it slicked down
like Cab Calloway.

You know, I had it fried, dyed
and laid to the side.

What are you bringing
all of this up for now?

Here we all are
into a discovery about Africa...

and you're talking about slicking down
your hair to look like white people.

I ain't sayin' nothin'
about no white people.

I said Cab Calloway.
He ain't white.

- Why don't you just go to bed?
- I ain't sleepy. You go to bed.

Then why don't you sit here, be quiet
and stop making a clown out of yourself?

- You might learn something.
- Oyamo, I think we should be leaving.

Don't leave on account of my father's
behavior. He always acts like this.

It is not your father's
behavior, brother Kalunda.

- It is your behavior.
- Me? What did I do?

The way you talk to
your father is deplorable.

No, it...
It is inexcusable.

In my country, such behavior
is unheard of. You would be beaten.

I wish I had you in Nigeria.
I'd knock you out.

Brother Kalunda...

it is not your place
to chastise your father.

You must respect your father
for he is full of years and wisdom.

You must not forget who is the parent
and who is the child.

Listen to her, dummy.
Go ahead, honey.

Therefore,
it is your duty...

to make his life pleasant,
not unpleasant.

A child should strive to make
his parents' winter years like spring.

And this child made my winter years
one long blizzard.

As he provided for you
when you were a child...

and could not provide
for yourself...

so must you provide
for him now.

And you're not only beautiful,
you smart.

Brother Kalunda...

you have far to go along this path
you have chosen for yourself...

before you reach
your destination.

Do not mistake
dashikis and sculpture...

and a hairstyle for Africa,
because they aren't.

Nor can you expect merely
to put on that cloth...

and become such a man
as your ancestors were.

The clothes you can
put on and off.

It is the heart you must change.
The heart.

Good evening.

Good evening,
Mr. Sanford.

I enjoyed meeting you.
You are a man of joy and great depth.

And you're a beautiful lady.

Hey, if I was
ten years younger...

I'd give you a run
for your money.

You be nice to her,
hear?

Have no fear, Pops.
Odabo, Jack!

Ah, she's nice.

You know, there's more to this
African thing than I thought there was.

I'd go along with you
on it, Kalunda.

I mean, you know,
you can depend on me.

Say, did you hear me?
I called you Kalunda.

Hey, Kalunda.

The name is Lamont.

You mean, I don't have
to call you Kalunda no more?

Hey, man. You can call me
what you always call me.

Oh, then, that'd be easy.

Dummy.

Hey, Pop,
you got my breakfast ready?

What are you wearing
that for?

Well, I knew you wasn't gonna wear it
no more, so I thought I'd slip it on.

Make me feel real African.
I look chic in my dashiki.

Listen, Pop, if you gonna make fun
of that, then don't wear it.

I'm not makin' fun.
Didn't I tell you that...

there's a whole lot to this African
stuff that I didn't realize before.

And I like that part
where you must not forget...

who is the parent
and who is the child.

I kind of figured
you would.

And how it's your duty to make
my life pleasant, not unpleasant.

You can make my life pleasant
with just two words...

cable television.

Are you back on that again? Because
I have already explained to you...

that I'm not gettin'
no cable TV...

Hold it, hold it!

It's not your place
to chastise your father.

You must respect him
because he has years and wisdom.

Now, about that
cable television.

You can forget about cable TV. Anyway,
what are we having for breakfast?

Whatever we having is somethin'
that we gonna have from now on.

Sausages.

If you're really serious
about your Africanism...

you wouldn't be eatin'
them sausages.

You don't have to be
a fanatic.

Sanford and Son is recorded on tape
before a live studio audience.