Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,041 --> 00:00:04,625
♪♪
2
00:00:04,708 --> 00:00:06,750
Girl:
[ Crying and gasping ]
3
00:00:06,833 --> 00:00:09,666
♪ Joy to the world ♪
4
00:00:09,750 --> 00:00:13,041
♪ The Lord is come ♪
5
00:00:13,125 --> 00:00:15,916
♪ Let Earth receive her king ♪
Are you okay?
6
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:19,541
Oh, I'm in so much
fucking pain!
7
00:00:19,625 --> 00:00:22,083
Sephora's closing.
8
00:00:22,166 --> 00:00:24,791
I'm not gonna let you buy that
lip kit full price, by the way.
9
00:00:24,875 --> 00:00:26,750
That'd be, like...
[ Moans ]
10
00:00:26,833 --> 00:00:28,000
...against civil rights.
11
00:00:28,083 --> 00:00:30,125
Aaaaah!
Are you sure
it's just cramps?
12
00:00:30,208 --> 00:00:31,916
'Cause my mom knows
someone who got an amoeba
13
00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:33,333
from Panda Express.
14
00:00:33,416 --> 00:00:34,791
It's like someone is sticking
one of those
15
00:00:34,875 --> 00:00:37,791
curved Japanese swords
up my vagina.
16
00:00:37,875 --> 00:00:39,083
Fuck!
17
00:00:39,166 --> 00:00:40,541
Do you want
the rest of the Oxy?
18
00:00:40,625 --> 00:00:42,208
[ Whimpers ]
19
00:00:42,291 --> 00:00:44,541
Here, open the door.
20
00:00:44,625 --> 00:00:46,125
I-I-I can't.
I can't move.
21
00:00:46,208 --> 00:00:47,375
I can't --
I can't unlock the door.
22
00:00:47,458 --> 00:00:49,416
Okay, I'll just
slide it under.
23
00:00:49,500 --> 00:00:52,041
Think if you snort it
it works super fast.
24
00:00:52,125 --> 00:00:54,833
Oh.
Ugh. Fuck!
25
00:00:54,916 --> 00:00:58,416
This is fucking true love
'cause this floor's nasty.
26
00:00:58,500 --> 00:01:00,583
Got it?
[ Whimpers ]
27
00:01:00,666 --> 00:01:02,250
Oh, God, gross!
28
00:01:02,333 --> 00:01:04,625
Oh, I think
I'm gonna throw up.
29
00:01:04,708 --> 00:01:07,458
Are you okay?
Aaaah!
30
00:01:07,541 --> 00:01:09,583
Seriously,
what is happening?
31
00:01:09,666 --> 00:01:10,708
Aaaaah!
32
00:01:10,791 --> 00:01:12,500
Shut up!
The Chipotle woman is looking!
33
00:01:12,583 --> 00:01:15,750
Can you Google
"how to give birth"?
34
00:01:15,833 --> 00:01:16,791
What?!
35
00:01:16,875 --> 00:01:17,916
Just do it.
36
00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:19,541
You're having
a fucking baby?!
37
00:01:19,625 --> 00:01:20,916
Shut up!
You're not pregnant!
38
00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:22,458
You don't even
look that fat.
39
00:01:22,541 --> 00:01:23,666
[ Wails ]
40
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:26,000
Oh, God, no!
We have to call 911.
41
00:01:26,083 --> 00:01:27,916
No!
We have to call 911.
42
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,833
My parents will
fucking kill me!
43
00:01:29,916 --> 00:01:32,750
Fuck.
People give birth in cars.
44
00:01:32,833 --> 00:01:34,458
No, you can't give birth
in a bathroom.
45
00:01:34,541 --> 00:01:36,000
It fucking happens.
It's not a big fucking deal.
46
00:01:36,083 --> 00:01:38,250
How could you not know?
What about your period?
47
00:01:38,333 --> 00:01:41,583
I thought I was bleeding.
Oh, God, Naomi!
48
00:01:41,666 --> 00:01:43,166
Shut up!
Someone is coming.
49
00:01:43,250 --> 00:01:46,625
Uh, no, someone threw up
all over the floor in there.
50
00:01:46,708 --> 00:01:48,333
And diarrhea, too.
51
00:01:48,416 --> 00:01:49,583
Oh.
[ Moans ]
52
00:01:49,666 --> 00:01:51,125
Tittyfuck cunt nugget.
It's not loading.
53
00:01:51,208 --> 00:01:52,583
It's not loading!
Welcome to wellness 5G...
54
00:01:52,666 --> 00:01:54,291
Oh, God, it's one of those
YouTube videos
55
00:01:54,375 --> 00:01:56,208
where you have to watch
the whole fucking ad first.
56
00:01:56,291 --> 00:01:57,541
You can't just skip.
Aaah!
57
00:01:57,625 --> 00:01:59,958
Why can you skip some
and not others?!
58
00:02:00,041 --> 00:02:02,000
What the fucking fuck!
59
00:02:02,083 --> 00:02:05,041
Fuck!
Try WikiHow!
60
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:10,208
♪♪
61
00:02:10,291 --> 00:02:12,750
♪ I like boys
I like pecs ♪
62
00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:14,541
♪ Like them arms
when they flex ♪
63
00:02:14,625 --> 00:02:16,500
♪ Like that print
in them sweats ♪
64
00:02:16,583 --> 00:02:18,208
♪ Tell them girls,
"Thank you, next" ♪
65
00:02:18,291 --> 00:02:20,375
♪ I like when they text me
sexy pics of 'em ♪
66
00:02:20,458 --> 00:02:22,333
♪ Like them abs
when there's six of 'em ♪
67
00:02:22,416 --> 00:02:24,291
♪ Tell them girls I'm sorry ♪
68
00:02:24,375 --> 00:02:26,875
♪ I like boys
Mama, boys like me ♪
69
00:02:26,958 --> 00:02:28,375
♪ I like boys who like boys
Mama ♪
70
00:02:28,458 --> 00:02:31,166
♪ Yeah, I like boys
who like boys like me ♪
71
00:02:31,250 --> 00:02:32,500
♪ Boys like me ♪
72
00:02:32,583 --> 00:02:35,083
♪ Motherfuckin' boys like me,
bitch ♪
73
00:02:35,166 --> 00:02:37,875
This being your third
dress-coding offense
74
00:02:37,958 --> 00:02:39,416
in the first month
of school,
75
00:02:39,500 --> 00:02:41,041
you need a guidance counselor
to sign off on this.
76
00:02:41,125 --> 00:02:42,958
No, please don't make me see
Mr. Saltarelli.
77
00:02:43,041 --> 00:02:44,541
That man crushes dreams.
78
00:02:44,625 --> 00:02:47,583
He collects antique
dental equipment.
79
00:02:47,666 --> 00:02:50,708
Mr. Saltarelli is dead.
80
00:02:50,791 --> 00:02:53,250
Oh, shit.
I'm sorry.
81
00:02:53,333 --> 00:02:54,875
How?
82
00:02:54,958 --> 00:02:56,958
[ Faint pounding ]
83
00:03:00,875 --> 00:03:03,416
Hi.
84
00:03:03,500 --> 00:03:05,250
Hi.
85
00:03:05,333 --> 00:03:07,750
How did Mr. Saltarelli die?
86
00:03:07,833 --> 00:03:10,750
He lost sight of a drone
he was flying
87
00:03:10,833 --> 00:03:14,375
and accidentally
flew it into his head.
88
00:03:14,458 --> 00:03:16,916
He fell unconscious in his pool
and drowned.
89
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:18,750
Oh, shit.
90
00:03:18,833 --> 00:03:19,916
Yeah.
91
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,666
There was a guy
judging the U.S. Open
92
00:03:21,750 --> 00:03:25,333
who died when a player served
the tennis ball into his groin.
93
00:03:25,416 --> 00:03:28,291
It's true.
His name was Dick.
94
00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:30,041
That's also true.
95
00:03:30,125 --> 00:03:31,333
I'm sorry.
96
00:03:31,416 --> 00:03:34,333
You're the new
guidance counselor?
97
00:03:34,416 --> 00:03:35,583
Sam.
98
00:03:35,666 --> 00:03:37,125
Chester.
99
00:03:37,208 --> 00:03:40,083
You know, we're supposed to call
teachers by their last names.
100
00:03:40,166 --> 00:03:42,291
Call me Mr. Fanger
if it feels more comfortable.
101
00:03:42,375 --> 00:03:44,500
I've always been a bit
on the fence about it.
102
00:03:44,583 --> 00:03:46,416
What can I do for you?
103
00:03:46,500 --> 00:03:48,791
You have to sign my slip,
104
00:03:48,875 --> 00:03:51,958
after you make sure that
I understand the consequences
105
00:03:52,041 --> 00:03:55,125
of having things like
multiple dress-code violations
106
00:03:55,208 --> 00:03:57,083
on my high school record.
107
00:03:57,166 --> 00:04:00,041
Okay, Chester, do you understand
the consequences?
108
00:04:00,125 --> 00:04:03,250
Three more,
and I am suspended
109
00:04:03,333 --> 00:04:06,958
and waterboarded
and put to death or something.
110
00:04:07,041 --> 00:04:10,291
Thing is I am a star
water polo player
111
00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:12,833
with a 4.1 GPA,
112
00:04:12,916 --> 00:04:15,250
and my tolerance
for giving a fuck is,
113
00:04:15,333 --> 00:04:17,750
like, minimal.
114
00:04:17,833 --> 00:04:19,625
Where do you come down
on cursing?
115
00:04:19,708 --> 00:04:21,458
Safe space.
116
00:04:21,541 --> 00:04:24,791
Why do you keep
getting dress-coded?
117
00:04:24,875 --> 00:04:27,208
Once for wearing a skirt.
118
00:04:27,291 --> 00:04:29,416
Once for ripped jeans,
119
00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:32,125
which the girls never
get in trouble for,
120
00:04:32,208 --> 00:04:34,416
but they said the rips
were too close to my ass.
121
00:04:34,500 --> 00:04:36,791
I mean, they didn't use
the word "ass."
122
00:04:36,875 --> 00:04:39,166
I think Mr. Saltarelli said
"derriere,"
123
00:04:39,250 --> 00:04:41,000
which I had to Google
just to make sure
124
00:04:41,083 --> 00:04:43,166
it was French for "ass."
125
00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:46,208
But anyway...
126
00:04:47,541 --> 00:04:50,041
What do you think?
127
00:04:50,125 --> 00:04:53,791
Is this too close
to my ass?
128
00:04:53,875 --> 00:04:55,583
What is it about for you?
129
00:04:55,666 --> 00:04:58,708
Ooh.
What is it about for me?
130
00:04:58,791 --> 00:05:02,208
I like how you said that all
cute and guidance counselor-y.
131
00:05:02,291 --> 00:05:03,500
Is it a drag thing?
132
00:05:03,583 --> 00:05:06,625
Are you into drag?
Give to get.
133
00:05:06,708 --> 00:05:08,833
Don't they teach you that
in guidance counselor school?
134
00:05:08,916 --> 00:05:11,083
More like how to deal with kids
who try to find things out
135
00:05:11,166 --> 00:05:13,541
about your personal life
that are none of their business.
136
00:05:13,625 --> 00:05:15,875
Oh.
Okay, okay.
137
00:05:15,958 --> 00:05:18,416
So, you know,
you being a shady bitch
138
00:05:18,500 --> 00:05:20,833
is only gonna make me
like you more.
139
00:05:20,916 --> 00:05:25,041
And if you want to therapize me,
I am all over it.
140
00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:26,333
Like, go.
141
00:05:26,416 --> 00:05:30,541
Like, let's get all
up close and personal.
142
00:05:30,625 --> 00:05:33,791
You'll need to find someone
to lend you something for today.
143
00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:36,166
If I have to wear something
from The Gap,
144
00:05:36,250 --> 00:05:39,333
I am blowing my brains out.
145
00:05:39,416 --> 00:05:41,875
That's not a suicidal
cry for help,
146
00:05:41,958 --> 00:05:43,625
just to be clear.
147
00:05:43,708 --> 00:05:46,750
But it could be
if The Gap is involved.
148
00:05:46,833 --> 00:05:48,583
Where is that?
149
00:05:48,666 --> 00:05:50,333
Oh, Tokyo.
150
00:05:50,416 --> 00:05:54,875
I spent the loneliest year
of my life there.
151
00:05:54,958 --> 00:06:00,291
I put it up to remind me
that when I feel alone,
152
00:06:00,375 --> 00:06:03,666
I'm never feeling
that alone.
153
00:06:05,625 --> 00:06:10,333
Is that, like, a prompt
to connect to sad kids?
154
00:06:10,416 --> 00:06:14,500
Oh, boo,
you was doin' so good.
155
00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:17,833
My school e-mail address.
156
00:06:17,916 --> 00:06:19,708
If you need anything.
157
00:06:21,958 --> 00:06:24,166
I need a shit-ton
of things.
158
00:06:26,333 --> 00:06:28,083
I'm, like, a lot.
159
00:06:30,041 --> 00:06:32,666
[ DUCKWRTH's " Crush" plays ]
160
00:06:32,750 --> 00:06:38,333
♪♪
161
00:06:38,416 --> 00:06:41,791
♪ I can just watch you dance
all night ♪
162
00:06:41,875 --> 00:06:44,291
♪ And you would never
let me down ♪
163
00:06:44,375 --> 00:06:46,750
♪ You could never let me down ♪
164
00:06:46,833 --> 00:06:48,166
♪ Crush ♪
165
00:06:48,250 --> 00:06:50,833
♪ I can fall in love with you
all night ♪
166
00:06:50,916 --> 00:06:53,041
♪ And you would never
let me down ♪
167
00:06:53,125 --> 00:06:55,750
♪ A crush
is my favorite sound ♪
168
00:06:55,833 --> 00:06:57,125
♪ Crush ♪
169
00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:58,541
♪ You just running
through my brain ♪
170
00:06:58,625 --> 00:07:00,500
♪ On it like dew
on the window pane ♪
171
00:07:00,583 --> 00:07:02,625
♪ 7:00 am, we was up
all night ♪
172
00:07:02,708 --> 00:07:03,791
♪ I was watching you dance ♪
173
00:07:03,875 --> 00:07:04,916
Hey, yo,
Chester, over here, man.
174
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,250
Hey, I'll see you
at practice.
175
00:07:06,333 --> 00:07:07,666
Alright, bro.
176
00:07:07,750 --> 00:07:10,833
♪ I can just watch you dance
all night ♪
177
00:07:10,916 --> 00:07:12,583
♪ And you would never
let me down ♪
178
00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:14,333
Hey.
Later still good?
179
00:07:14,416 --> 00:07:15,625
Yeah,
I'll meet you there.
180
00:07:15,708 --> 00:07:17,000
♪ Crush ♪
181
00:07:17,083 --> 00:07:19,833
♪ I can fall in love with you
all night ♪
182
00:07:19,916 --> 00:07:22,000
♪ And you would never
let me down ♪
183
00:07:22,083 --> 00:07:24,375
♪ A crush
is my favorite sound ♪
184
00:07:24,458 --> 00:07:26,916
♪ Crush
♪ I never planned to crush ♪
185
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:29,000
♪ But I'm saying all them
things to make you blush ♪
186
00:07:29,083 --> 00:07:30,500
♪ This is such a rush ♪
187
00:07:30,583 --> 00:07:32,166
♪ Blood to the head,
like I'm upside down ♪
188
00:07:32,250 --> 00:07:34,000
♪ Let you cool down,
you ain't a tough guy ♪
189
00:07:34,083 --> 00:07:35,416
♪ Say that ♪
190
00:07:35,500 --> 00:07:37,083
♪ Unless you lookin'
for a rough ride ♪
191
00:07:37,166 --> 00:07:38,666
♪ Poppin' wheelies
in the sunshine, play that ♪
192
00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:40,375
♪ Put you on my BMX,
feel like a Maybach ♪
193
00:07:40,458 --> 00:07:42,750
♪ Ooh, throw it back
just like a 8-track ♪
194
00:07:42,833 --> 00:07:45,041
♪ Marvin Gaye,
we do it your way ♪
195
00:07:45,125 --> 00:07:47,208
♪ Usher Raymond, do it my way ♪
196
00:07:47,291 --> 00:07:49,208
♪ What happens
when you stick that jam ♪
197
00:07:49,291 --> 00:07:51,750
♪ In the middle of the yams? ♪
♪ Crush ♪
198
00:07:51,833 --> 00:07:54,875
♪ I can just watch you dance
all night ♪
199
00:07:54,958 --> 00:07:57,375
♪ And you would never
let me down ♪
200
00:07:57,458 --> 00:08:00,541
Can anyone sell me a shirt?
I have a dollar.
201
00:08:00,625 --> 00:08:02,541
♪ I can fall in love
with you all night ♪
202
00:08:02,625 --> 00:08:05,041
Anyone?
♪ And you would never
let me down ♪
203
00:08:05,125 --> 00:08:06,333
-Shirt for a dollar?
-Sorry, man.
204
00:08:06,416 --> 00:08:09,041
♪ A crush
is my favorite sound ♪
205
00:08:09,125 --> 00:08:10,250
♪ Crush ♪
206
00:08:10,333 --> 00:08:11,958
"Magic Mike" stage show
over here.
207
00:08:12,041 --> 00:08:13,625
-Ow!
-Just kidding.
208
00:08:13,708 --> 00:08:15,375
I got dress-coded.
-Ow!
209
00:08:15,458 --> 00:08:17,833
♪ A crush
is my favorite sound ♪
210
00:08:17,916 --> 00:08:19,708
♪ Crush ♪
[ Whistle blows ]
211
00:08:19,791 --> 00:08:21,958
-Alright, let's see it!
-Hey!
212
00:08:22,041 --> 00:08:26,458
[ Indistinct shouting ]
213
00:08:26,541 --> 00:08:28,000
You got it, you got it,
you got it!
214
00:08:28,083 --> 00:08:32,666
-Nice!
-Chester, take the shot!
215
00:08:32,750 --> 00:08:34,333
[ Cheering ]
216
00:08:34,416 --> 00:08:35,916
[ Whistle blows ]
217
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:37,666
[ Playing in headphones]
♪ Could never let me down ♪
218
00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:41,333
♪ I can fall in lovewith you all night ♪
219
00:08:41,416 --> 00:08:43,625
♪ And you would neverlet me down ♪
220
00:08:43,708 --> 00:08:46,166
♪ A crushis my favorite sound ♪
221
00:08:46,250 --> 00:08:47,708
♪ Crush ♪
222
00:08:47,791 --> 00:08:50,333
♪ I can just watch you danceall night ♪
223
00:08:50,416 --> 00:08:52,625
♪ And you would neverlet me down ♪
224
00:08:52,708 --> 00:08:55,083
♪ You could never let me down ♪
225
00:08:55,166 --> 00:08:56,583
♪ Crush ♪
226
00:08:56,666 --> 00:08:59,083
♪ I can fall in love with youall night ♪
227
00:08:59,166 --> 00:09:01,375
♪ And you would neverlet me down ♪
228
00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:03,625
♪ A crushis my favorite sound ♪
229
00:09:03,708 --> 00:09:05,958
[ Laughs ]
I can't believe we got past!
230
00:09:06,041 --> 00:09:08,541
I've been wanting to see
this one so bad!
231
00:09:13,083 --> 00:09:15,583
[ Laughing ]
232
00:09:20,375 --> 00:09:23,000
[ Siren wails in distance ]
233
00:09:28,083 --> 00:09:30,958
[ Jackhammering and horns
honking in distance ]
234
00:09:57,958 --> 00:10:00,041
Yo.
235
00:10:03,666 --> 00:10:06,541
Yes!
[ Laughs ]
236
00:10:27,458 --> 00:10:33,250
♪♪
237
00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:39,125
♪♪
238
00:10:39,208 --> 00:10:41,791
[ Electricity buzzing ]
239
00:10:43,625 --> 00:10:46,500
Ah-ooooo-oooooooo!
240
00:10:46,583 --> 00:10:55,791
♪♪
241
00:10:55,875 --> 00:10:57,958
♪ Push, press ♪
242
00:10:58,041 --> 00:10:59,875
♪ More, less ♪
243
00:10:59,958 --> 00:11:01,083
[ Tires screech, horn honks ]
244
00:11:01,166 --> 00:11:02,041
Fuck! Sorry.
245
00:11:02,125 --> 00:11:04,041
♪ What's your pleasure? ♪
246
00:11:04,125 --> 00:11:08,416
♪ Stop, go, fast, slow ♪
247
00:11:08,500 --> 00:11:10,708
♪ Here together ♪
248
00:11:10,791 --> 00:11:13,750
♪ What's your pleasure? ♪
249
00:11:13,833 --> 00:11:15,916
[ Indistinct talking ]
250
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:17,416
Hey, I'm Riley.
251
00:11:17,500 --> 00:11:19,083
Oh, nice to meet you.
252
00:11:19,166 --> 00:11:20,916
Nathan's not here yet.
Alright.
253
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:24,041
Uh, there's stuff
to drink inside.
Cool.
254
00:11:24,125 --> 00:11:27,041
That girl, the one wearing way
too much pink -- she's got weed.
255
00:11:27,125 --> 00:11:29,750
She steals it from her parents,
but she'll charge you...
256
00:11:29,833 --> 00:11:31,791
while making low-key
homophobic jokes.
257
00:11:31,875 --> 00:11:33,750
She thinks it's okay
'cause she has two dads.
258
00:11:33,833 --> 00:11:36,666
Uh, well, maybe they're those
self-hating gays.
259
00:11:36,750 --> 00:11:38,000
It's, like, a whole thing.
260
00:11:38,083 --> 00:11:39,166
I'm really glad you came.
261
00:11:39,250 --> 00:11:40,916
Thank you.
262
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,500
Don't break Nathan's heart.
263
00:11:42,583 --> 00:11:45,458
Yeah, I feel like in general
I don't want to mess with you.
264
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,666
[ Laughter ]
265
00:11:50,750 --> 00:11:54,791
[ Indistinct talking ]
266
00:11:54,875 --> 00:11:56,208
Let's fuck those turtles up!
267
00:11:56,291 --> 00:11:57,666
[ Cellphone buzzing ]
Girl: Ah!
268
00:11:57,750 --> 00:11:59,583
Group: Ooooh!
269
00:11:59,666 --> 00:12:02,750
♪♪
270
00:12:02,833 --> 00:12:03,958
Hello?
271
00:12:04,041 --> 00:12:06,833
This is Sam,your guidance counselor.
272
00:12:06,916 --> 00:12:08,958
I got the pictureyou sent.
273
00:12:09,041 --> 00:12:12,625
Uh, shit.
And you thought...what?
274
00:12:12,708 --> 00:12:14,958
I need to knowif you're okay.
275
00:12:15,041 --> 00:12:16,958
I was worried.
276
00:12:17,041 --> 00:12:19,791
Um, it's -- it's --
it's called rooftopping.
277
00:12:19,875 --> 00:12:21,791
It's just a thing
that people do.
278
00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:23,791
[ Chuckling ]
You can Google it.
279
00:12:23,875 --> 00:12:25,625
How did you get
my number?
280
00:12:25,708 --> 00:12:29,125
I called your house.Your grandma gave it to me.
281
00:12:29,208 --> 00:12:34,458
Look, I need to meetwith you Monday.
282
00:12:34,541 --> 00:12:36,000
Why?
283
00:12:36,083 --> 00:12:38,166
Send a picture like that,I'm doing something about it.
284
00:12:38,250 --> 00:12:39,583
I have to.
285
00:12:39,666 --> 00:12:40,916
No, you don't.
286
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,125
I have to.
287
00:12:43,208 --> 00:12:45,458
Okay, I love me
a good savior complex,
288
00:12:45,541 --> 00:12:48,083
but you're really
pushing it.
289
00:12:48,166 --> 00:12:51,125
I know people who've triedto hurt themselves.
290
00:12:52,833 --> 00:12:56,666
I don't -- I don't mess aroundwith stuff like this.
291
00:12:56,750 --> 00:12:58,083
Um...
292
00:12:58,166 --> 00:13:01,958
well, that's not me.
293
00:13:02,041 --> 00:13:03,291
I'm relieved to hear it,
294
00:13:03,375 --> 00:13:05,958
but I'd still like tomeet with you.
295
00:13:09,083 --> 00:13:13,916
You said, "This is whatloneliness looks like."
296
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:18,041
Meaning
it's fucking beautiful.
297
00:13:18,125 --> 00:13:19,875
Um...
298
00:13:19,958 --> 00:13:21,750
Yeah.
299
00:13:26,416 --> 00:13:29,000
I'll meet with you Monday.
300
00:13:29,083 --> 00:13:31,791
I appreciate you
being honest.
301
00:13:31,875 --> 00:13:32,958
No one ever is.
302
00:13:33,041 --> 00:13:36,041
I'll alwaysbe honest with you.
303
00:13:36,125 --> 00:13:39,208
You just might notalways like it.
304
00:13:39,291 --> 00:13:41,666
Bye.
305
00:13:41,750 --> 00:13:43,250
[ Cellphone squawking ]
306
00:13:43,333 --> 00:13:44,916
Chingada!
Sorry.
307
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:46,208
That's okay.
308
00:13:46,291 --> 00:13:48,708
Girl: Hey, are you even
real right now?
309
00:13:48,791 --> 00:13:57,291
♪♪
310
00:13:57,375 --> 00:14:00,125
I wasn't invited.
311
00:14:00,208 --> 00:14:07,833
♪♪
312
00:14:07,916 --> 00:14:09,875
♪ Everything won't go right ♪
313
00:14:09,958 --> 00:14:11,250
♪ But still I learn ♪
314
00:14:11,333 --> 00:14:12,875
♪ Even though I'm here
on Earth ♪
315
00:14:12,958 --> 00:14:14,750
♪ Heaven is the place
I'm worth ♪
316
00:14:14,833 --> 00:14:15,875
♪ I'll make it work ♪
317
00:14:15,958 --> 00:14:17,083
-Hi.
-Nathan?
318
00:14:17,166 --> 00:14:18,708
-Sorry.
-Hey, how's it going?
319
00:14:18,791 --> 00:14:20,916
I'm having the worst night
of my life.
320
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:22,791
Wait, are you crying?
321
00:14:22,875 --> 00:14:25,333
No, I-I just got something
in my eye.
322
00:14:25,416 --> 00:14:26,708
Fuck.
It sucks.
323
00:14:26,791 --> 00:14:28,250
Wait a minute,
I want to talk to you.
324
00:14:28,333 --> 00:14:30,583
-Can you take a picture of us?
-Seriously?
325
00:14:30,666 --> 00:14:32,750
I just said I was having
the worst night of my life.
326
00:14:32,833 --> 00:14:36,750
This might be the worst night
of your life.
327
00:14:36,833 --> 00:14:38,625
Actually, no,
that might be
328
00:14:38,708 --> 00:14:42,750
when your old youth pastor
messages you on Grindr.
329
00:14:42,833 --> 00:14:44,625
Okay, we're ready.
[ Chuckles ]
330
00:14:44,708 --> 00:14:46,875
But...my point is,
331
00:14:46,958 --> 00:14:51,625
for the most part,
it only goes up, right?
332
00:14:51,708 --> 00:14:55,583
And you should get a picture
to remember
333
00:14:55,666 --> 00:14:58,625
that you'll never feel
that bad again.
334
00:14:58,708 --> 00:15:01,291
I'm not really
following you.
335
00:15:01,375 --> 00:15:03,291
That's okay.
336
00:15:04,708 --> 00:15:06,958
[ Cellphone vibrates ]
337
00:15:07,041 --> 00:15:15,791
♪♪
338
00:15:15,875 --> 00:15:17,666
Girl: You ready?
339
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,791
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
340
00:15:49,250 --> 00:15:51,583
[ Laughs ]
341
00:15:51,666 --> 00:15:53,125
What does it look like?
342
00:15:53,208 --> 00:15:55,333
[ Laughter ]
343
00:15:55,416 --> 00:15:56,500
[ Speaks Spanish ]
344
00:15:56,583 --> 00:15:58,541
♪ I like boys
I like pecs ♪
345
00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:00,541
♪ Like them arms
when they flex ♪
346
00:16:00,625 --> 00:16:02,416
♪ Like that print
in them sweats ♪
347
00:16:02,500 --> 00:16:03,583
♪ Tell them girls,
"Thank you, next" ♪
348
00:16:03,666 --> 00:16:05,083
See you guys later.
349
00:16:05,166 --> 00:16:06,583
♪ I like when they text me
sexy pics of 'em ♪
350
00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:08,541
♪ Like them abs
when there's six of 'em ♪
351
00:16:08,625 --> 00:16:10,208
♪ Tell them girls I'm sorry ♪
352
00:16:10,291 --> 00:16:14,000
♪ I like boys
Mama, boys like me ♪
353
00:16:14,083 --> 00:16:15,458
Um, hi.
354
00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:18,875
Um, those portraits
you took of Lucía are amazing.
355
00:16:18,958 --> 00:16:21,375
You're so talented.
Oh, that's so sweet.
356
00:16:21,458 --> 00:16:23,875
I barely had to do anything.
Her eyes are gorgeous.
357
00:16:23,958 --> 00:16:26,000
I'm obsessed with her.
358
00:16:26,083 --> 00:16:27,875
Here, I'll show you.
359
00:16:33,166 --> 00:16:35,875
This is the most amazing picture
I've ever seen.
360
00:16:35,958 --> 00:16:37,333
[ Both laugh ]
361
00:16:37,416 --> 00:16:38,833
Oh, shoot,
that's out of focus.
362
00:16:38,916 --> 00:16:40,916
Oh, no,
I didn't like that one.
Yeah.
363
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,375
I'm sorry, I just...
No. Yeah.
364
00:16:42,458 --> 00:16:44,625
It's --
the focus is weird.
365
00:16:44,708 --> 00:16:46,583
Oh, yeah, you're right.
This one.
366
00:16:46,666 --> 00:16:47,875
This is the amazing one.
367
00:16:47,958 --> 00:16:49,666
Yeah.
368
00:16:54,666 --> 00:16:55,875
Are you coming tonight?
369
00:16:55,958 --> 00:16:57,291
Definitely.
370
00:16:57,375 --> 00:16:59,083
Cool.
371
00:16:59,166 --> 00:17:01,708
Ana, can you help me
with my makeup?
372
00:17:01,791 --> 00:17:04,125
What the fuck?
Yes.
373
00:17:04,208 --> 00:17:05,625
[ Laughs ]
374
00:17:05,708 --> 00:17:08,416
[ Radio playing Paulina Rubio's
"Yo Yo Siga Aquí ]
375
00:17:08,500 --> 00:17:11,833
♪ Pensaré si queda
alguna manera ♪
376
00:17:11,916 --> 00:17:15,416
♪ Pensaré si queda
alguna manera ♪
377
00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:19,583
♪ Pa' que te fijes en mí
y entonces me quieras ♪
378
00:17:19,666 --> 00:17:21,000
[ Gunfire ]
379
00:17:21,083 --> 00:17:22,750
The guns.
380
00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:24,208
Tonight we're gonna have
a little kiki
381
00:17:24,291 --> 00:17:25,666
about toxic masculinity.
382
00:17:25,750 --> 00:17:26,791
[ Speaks Spanish ]
383
00:17:26,875 --> 00:17:28,708
[ Gunfire and screaming ]
384
00:17:28,791 --> 00:17:30,625
Go like this.
385
00:17:32,083 --> 00:17:34,166
Now go like that.
386
00:17:34,250 --> 00:17:35,541
More.
387
00:17:35,625 --> 00:17:37,416
[ Laughs ]
388
00:17:37,500 --> 00:17:38,833
Not too much makeup, okay?
389
00:17:38,916 --> 00:17:40,916
Do you tell a banker
how to count money?
390
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:42,666
Shut the fuck up.
391
00:17:42,750 --> 00:17:43,958
Who is she?
392
00:17:44,041 --> 00:17:45,458
Who?
393
00:17:45,541 --> 00:17:47,375
The girl I'm beating
your face for.
394
00:17:47,458 --> 00:17:50,125
Oh, uh,
it's not for anyone.
395
00:17:50,208 --> 00:17:52,500
It's just,
you know, a party.
396
00:17:52,583 --> 00:17:53,625
Bitch, please.
397
00:17:53,708 --> 00:17:55,541
I'm your aunt,
not your mother.
398
00:17:55,625 --> 00:17:57,250
I don't care.
399
00:17:57,333 --> 00:17:59,583
Am I supposed to tell you
to be home at a certain time?
400
00:17:59,666 --> 00:18:00,666
-No.
-11:00!
401
00:18:00,750 --> 00:18:02,791
I'm gonna
fucking kill you.
402
00:18:02,875 --> 00:18:05,333
How about 1:00?
403
00:18:05,416 --> 00:18:07,583
Thank you.
404
00:18:07,666 --> 00:18:09,375
You talk to her today?
405
00:18:09,458 --> 00:18:11,416
Who?
406
00:18:11,500 --> 00:18:14,500
Tu mamá.
407
00:18:14,583 --> 00:18:16,333
Uh-huh.
408
00:18:18,666 --> 00:18:19,833
It's too stressful.
409
00:18:19,916 --> 00:18:21,333
I don't know what to say to her
on the phone.
410
00:18:21,416 --> 00:18:22,666
She just starts crying.
411
00:18:22,750 --> 00:18:25,541
What the fuck, Greta?
No seas egoísta.
412
00:18:25,625 --> 00:18:26,833
I am not selfish!
413
00:18:26,916 --> 00:18:28,458
I don't know what to say to her
on the phone.
414
00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:30,041
Why are you yelling at me?
415
00:18:30,125 --> 00:18:31,208
Put yourself in her shoes.
416
00:18:31,291 --> 00:18:32,666
Why do you care about her?
417
00:18:32,750 --> 00:18:35,208
-She's your mother.
-She's a total bitch to you.
418
00:18:35,291 --> 00:18:38,166
You watching us
while she's gone
419
00:18:38,250 --> 00:18:40,625
is, like, her nightmare.
420
00:18:40,708 --> 00:18:43,000
Yeah, mine, too.
421
00:18:43,083 --> 00:18:44,833
[ Banging ]
422
00:18:44,916 --> 00:18:47,458
[ Baby crying in distance ]
423
00:18:47,541 --> 00:18:50,083
[ Dog barking ]
424
00:18:56,541 --> 00:18:58,708
[ Cellphone squawking ]
425
00:18:58,791 --> 00:19:01,500
[ Party music playing
in distance ]
426
00:19:01,583 --> 00:19:03,125
Chingada!
Sorry.
427
00:19:03,208 --> 00:19:04,375
That's okay.
428
00:19:04,458 --> 00:19:05,875
Girl: Wait, are you
even real right now?
429
00:19:05,958 --> 00:19:08,041
Hi! Oh, my God.
430
00:19:08,125 --> 00:19:10,208
Your tits look so good.
431
00:19:10,291 --> 00:19:13,375
And, um, can we talk
about that crop top?
432
00:19:13,458 --> 00:19:15,291
I hate it when hot guys
go queeny.
433
00:19:15,375 --> 00:19:17,750
Like, stay with me, baby.
434
00:19:17,833 --> 00:19:19,041
Be a man.
435
00:19:19,125 --> 00:19:20,750
Do your dads care
that you say shit like that?
436
00:19:20,833 --> 00:19:22,916
Seriously,
you're such a bigot.
437
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:24,500
How can I be a bigot?
438
00:19:24,583 --> 00:19:26,375
My parents are fags.
439
00:19:26,458 --> 00:19:32,083
♪♪
440
00:19:32,166 --> 00:19:34,916
Hey, there you are.
441
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,791
Wait, are you okay?
442
00:19:36,875 --> 00:19:38,083
Oh, my God.
[ Laughs ]
443
00:19:38,166 --> 00:19:39,750
I'm so sorry.
[ Clattering ]
444
00:19:39,833 --> 00:19:41,583
Wait, one second.
D-Don't move, okay?
445
00:19:41,666 --> 00:19:42,833
I'll be right back.
446
00:19:42,916 --> 00:19:44,291
Hi, hi, are you okay?
447
00:19:44,375 --> 00:19:46,666
-I'm alright.
-I'm texting Chester right now.
448
00:19:46,750 --> 00:19:48,625
Don't worry about Naomi.
You don't need a twin.
449
00:19:48,708 --> 00:19:49,958
You have me.
-I'm fine.
450
00:19:50,041 --> 00:19:52,083
Nathan: I just got something
in my eye.
451
00:19:52,166 --> 00:19:54,625
Hi. Sorry.
452
00:19:54,708 --> 00:19:56,250
Are you okay?
453
00:19:56,333 --> 00:19:57,750
Chester: Nathan?
454
00:19:57,833 --> 00:19:59,416
Family drama.
455
00:19:59,500 --> 00:20:02,791
Hey, how's it going?
Oh. That sucks.
456
00:20:02,875 --> 00:20:05,750
Wait, are you crying?
457
00:20:05,833 --> 00:20:10,500
-My mom recently got, um --
-Fuck.
458
00:20:10,583 --> 00:20:11,666
Wait a minute.
I want to talk to you.
459
00:20:11,750 --> 00:20:12,916
Can you take
a picture of us?
460
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:14,625
Yeah, one second.
461
00:20:14,708 --> 00:20:17,125
This might be the worst night
of your life.
462
00:20:17,208 --> 00:20:18,625
Are you sure you're okay?
463
00:20:18,708 --> 00:20:20,916
Actually, no,
that might be
464
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:22,166
when your old
youth pastor...
465
00:20:22,250 --> 00:20:24,750
Yeah.
466
00:20:24,833 --> 00:20:26,625
Okay, we're ready.
467
00:20:26,708 --> 00:20:29,458
But my point is...
468
00:20:31,416 --> 00:20:34,791
♪ It's okay,
it's okay ♪
469
00:20:34,875 --> 00:20:36,333
You ready?
470
00:20:36,416 --> 00:20:38,333
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
[ Woman moans ]
471
00:20:38,416 --> 00:20:42,791
Man: Oh, yeah. You want pussyand dick, don't you?
472
00:20:42,875 --> 00:20:45,166
Woman: You like thatdouble Happy Meal.
473
00:20:45,250 --> 00:20:48,375
You want to order a burger,a hot dog,
474
00:20:48,458 --> 00:20:50,458
and all the soda!
475
00:20:50,541 --> 00:20:52,625
[ Shudders ]
Man: Oh, fuck!
476
00:20:52,708 --> 00:20:55,000
Ah! [ Shudders ]
477
00:20:55,083 --> 00:20:58,166
[ Moaning ]
478
00:20:58,250 --> 00:20:59,666
Man: Doggone it, Naomi,
that credit card's
479
00:20:59,750 --> 00:21:00,791
for emergencies only.
480
00:21:00,875 --> 00:21:02,458
Naomi:
It was an emergency, Dad!
481
00:21:02,541 --> 00:21:05,041
At bleepin' Nordstrom's?
[ Woman screaming ]
482
00:21:05,125 --> 00:21:07,541
Yes, at bleepin' Nordstrom's,
Dad!
483
00:21:07,625 --> 00:21:09,416
If you had a bleepin'
monthly visitor
484
00:21:09,500 --> 00:21:11,000
and you were wearing
white pants,
485
00:21:11,083 --> 00:21:13,375
you might have to go
to bleepin' Nordstrom's!
486
00:21:13,458 --> 00:21:15,125
So yeah, it --
it was a bleep--
487
00:21:15,208 --> 00:21:17,333
Megan: I'm gonna be in school
today for a fundraising meeting,
488
00:21:17,416 --> 00:21:19,708
so I can take you
and your sister
489
00:21:19,791 --> 00:21:21,291
to church for the rehearsal.
490
00:21:21,375 --> 00:21:23,541
Please wear a collared shirt --
makes you look taller.
491
00:21:23,625 --> 00:21:26,666
We have to leave right after
school, so meet me out front.
492
00:21:26,750 --> 00:21:28,000
What did I say?
493
00:21:28,083 --> 00:21:29,166
-Meet you out front.
-Were you talking to me?
494
00:21:29,250 --> 00:21:30,541
Right after school.
No.
495
00:21:30,625 --> 00:21:31,833
Why are they
having a rehearsal
496
00:21:31,916 --> 00:21:33,041
when the wedding
is two weeks away?
497
00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:34,708
Because we're organized,
498
00:21:34,791 --> 00:21:37,166
and because I have the mayor's
prayer breakfast to deal with,
499
00:21:37,250 --> 00:21:40,625
and there are already
1,500 RSVPs.
500
00:21:40,708 --> 00:21:42,833
Oh. [ Exhales ]
501
00:21:42,916 --> 00:21:44,375
Mm.
502
00:21:47,083 --> 00:21:49,166
Oh, no.
Please, no.
503
00:21:49,250 --> 00:21:51,125
-What?
-Nothing.
504
00:21:51,208 --> 00:21:53,541
Megan: I'm gonna be at school
today for a fundraising meeting,
505
00:21:53,625 --> 00:21:55,750
so I can take you
and your brother
506
00:21:55,833 --> 00:21:57,875
to the church
for rehearsal, okay?
507
00:21:57,958 --> 00:21:59,166
And please wear
the pleated skirt.
508
00:21:59,250 --> 00:22:02,000
It's so nice
for your knees.
509
00:22:02,083 --> 00:22:03,416
What's the purple dot for?
510
00:22:03,500 --> 00:22:06,875
-Will you taste this, honey?
-Um, eggs.
511
00:22:06,958 --> 00:22:09,125
Venmo me...
I can take you and your brother
to the church
512
00:22:09,208 --> 00:22:10,583
for the rehearsal, okay?
513
00:22:10,666 --> 00:22:13,041
So meet me out front, okay?
What did I say?
514
00:22:13,125 --> 00:22:15,750
-[ Snorts ]
-Wow.
515
00:22:15,833 --> 00:22:19,666
Will you put down your phones,
please, and listen to me?
516
00:22:19,750 --> 00:22:23,083
It's very frustrating,
you know,
517
00:22:23,166 --> 00:22:25,833
that you insist on
seeing me in this way.
518
00:22:25,916 --> 00:22:27,833
I am a loose person
519
00:22:27,916 --> 00:22:30,541
with a wide range
of interests.
520
00:22:30,625 --> 00:22:33,500
I'm blessed with many,
many friends.
521
00:22:33,583 --> 00:22:36,375
I-I do appreciate
modern art.
522
00:22:36,458 --> 00:22:38,500
I adore
the Spanish language.
523
00:22:38,583 --> 00:22:41,083
You know, I'm --
I'm a fully formed person,
524
00:22:41,166 --> 00:22:43,375
and yet you two --
you insist on seeing me
525
00:22:43,458 --> 00:22:47,333
like this --
this stick figure,
526
00:22:47,416 --> 00:22:49,583
and it's very...
527
00:22:49,666 --> 00:22:52,750
it's frustrating.
528
00:22:52,833 --> 00:22:54,583
We weren't even
talking about you.
529
00:22:54,666 --> 00:22:57,250
Father: Nathan.
530
00:22:57,333 --> 00:23:00,125
If I ever start scheduling
sex dates on a white board,
531
00:23:00,208 --> 00:23:02,125
please just, like,
stab me repeatedly.
532
00:23:02,208 --> 00:23:04,625
Same. Also, why did
they choose purple?
533
00:23:04,708 --> 00:23:05,958
I loved purple.
534
00:23:06,041 --> 00:23:07,291
And now every time
I see purple,
535
00:23:07,375 --> 00:23:10,083
I think about
Dad ramming Mom.
536
00:23:10,166 --> 00:23:12,250
Oh, look, there's Jack.
537
00:23:12,333 --> 00:23:14,416
Could he be hotter?
538
00:23:14,500 --> 00:23:15,708
You can hang with us,
you know.
539
00:23:15,791 --> 00:23:17,250
I don't wanna
third wheel.
540
00:23:17,333 --> 00:23:20,625
Whatever. He knows we talk
about everything anyway.
541
00:23:20,708 --> 00:23:22,208
I mean, I tell you more
than you tell me,
542
00:23:22,291 --> 00:23:23,958
but that's just 'cause
you're not getting any.
543
00:23:24,041 --> 00:23:25,833
Literally all you're getting
is hickeys.
544
00:23:25,916 --> 00:23:27,958
He wants me to blow him.
545
00:23:28,041 --> 00:23:30,458
But I don't know.
Dicks are not cute.
546
00:23:30,541 --> 00:23:31,750
Is he even circumcised?
547
00:23:31,833 --> 00:23:34,208
God, you're nasty.
548
00:23:34,291 --> 00:23:35,291
Hi.
-Hey.
549
00:23:35,375 --> 00:23:36,333
-Hi.
-What's up, baby?
550
00:23:36,416 --> 00:23:38,291
-Hi.
-How you doing?
551
00:23:40,333 --> 00:23:42,833
[ School bell rings ]
552
00:23:42,916 --> 00:23:44,000
♪ I like boys ♪
553
00:23:44,083 --> 00:23:45,916
Riley: Oh, shit.
554
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:47,833
See, I don't find a crop top
on a guy sexy.
555
00:23:47,916 --> 00:23:50,625
No, I agree,
but the ballsiness is...
556
00:23:50,708 --> 00:23:52,125
and the zero body fat.
557
00:23:52,208 --> 00:23:55,291
Jesus, can you please invite him
to your party tonight?
558
00:23:55,375 --> 00:23:56,625
No, I'm not gonna
invite him.
559
00:23:56,708 --> 00:24:00,125
I don't know him.
560
00:24:00,208 --> 00:24:01,750
Naomi hates me.
561
00:24:01,833 --> 00:24:03,833
She low-key
hates everyone.
562
00:24:03,916 --> 00:24:05,625
Also, she can't start dating
and then ignore me
563
00:24:05,708 --> 00:24:07,458
and all of a sudden stop
watching "The Bachelor"
564
00:24:07,541 --> 00:24:09,166
with me in season 23
565
00:24:09,250 --> 00:24:11,541
and then be jealous of me
having friends.
566
00:24:11,625 --> 00:24:12,791
Greta: Um, hi.
567
00:24:12,875 --> 00:24:14,291
Um, that Lucía picture
you took is amazing.
568
00:24:14,375 --> 00:24:15,500
You're so talented.
569
00:24:15,583 --> 00:24:16,708
Oh, thanks.
570
00:24:16,791 --> 00:24:18,125
Are you coming tonight?
571
00:24:18,208 --> 00:24:19,208
Definitely.
572
00:24:19,291 --> 00:24:22,041
Cool.
573
00:24:22,125 --> 00:24:23,375
Nathan:
What a fucking hero.
574
00:24:23,458 --> 00:24:25,375
Riley, you need to
invite him.
575
00:24:25,458 --> 00:24:28,291
I'm not gonna invite him.
576
00:24:28,375 --> 00:24:30,166
What's this gonna say?
577
00:24:30,250 --> 00:24:31,541
[ School bell rings ]
578
00:24:31,625 --> 00:24:33,291
You're reviewing
last night's homework,
579
00:24:33,375 --> 00:24:36,416
numbers 4, 6, 7, and 8.
580
00:24:36,500 --> 00:24:38,208
I had trouble
with number 8.
581
00:24:38,291 --> 00:24:39,291
She's so annoying.
582
00:24:39,375 --> 00:24:40,958
Okay, let's talk about it.
583
00:24:41,041 --> 00:24:43,541
Okay, "The ratio of boys to
girls in a physics class is 3:1.
584
00:24:43,625 --> 00:24:45,500
If six students are absent
and the total class number
585
00:24:45,583 --> 00:24:48,541
is divisible by six,
how many students are girls?"
586
00:24:48,625 --> 00:24:50,333
What's the problem,
Delilah?
587
00:24:50,416 --> 00:24:51,750
The problem is
588
00:24:51,833 --> 00:24:54,583
we don't live in a world
of just boys and girls.
589
00:24:54,666 --> 00:24:56,666
What about
non-binary kids?
590
00:24:56,750 --> 00:24:58,708
Well, let's assume
that all the students
591
00:24:58,791 --> 00:25:02,833
in this fictitious class
are straight.
592
00:25:02,916 --> 00:25:06,333
I think the word you meant
to say is cisgender,
593
00:25:06,416 --> 00:25:08,500
but anyways,
solving the problem,
594
00:25:08,583 --> 00:25:10,208
there are apparently
36 boys
595
00:25:10,291 --> 00:25:12,791
and apparently 12 girls
in a physics class,
596
00:25:12,875 --> 00:25:16,166
which, when you think about it,
is pretty anti-feminist.
597
00:25:16,250 --> 00:25:19,125
And, like, what about
the six absent kids?
598
00:25:19,208 --> 00:25:21,416
Is anyone else thinking
they didn't show up
599
00:25:21,500 --> 00:25:23,750
because they are
non-binary
600
00:25:23,833 --> 00:25:25,375
and felt sick
of getting bullied
601
00:25:25,458 --> 00:25:28,416
by douchey
cisgender kids?
602
00:25:28,500 --> 00:25:32,083
Well, um,
moving on to problem 9.
603
00:25:32,166 --> 00:25:34,791
Actually, I also had trouble
with number 9.
604
00:25:34,875 --> 00:25:37,166
"Magic Mike"
stage show over here.
605
00:25:37,250 --> 00:25:39,583
Girl: Ow!
606
00:25:39,666 --> 00:25:40,791
Arianna:
What is this?
607
00:25:40,875 --> 00:25:42,416
Naomi: Bitch, they're hickeys.
Come on.
608
00:25:42,500 --> 00:25:45,291
Oh, my God, I heard if
the hickeys are long and skinny
609
00:25:45,375 --> 00:25:47,291
it means he's a sociopath.
610
00:25:47,375 --> 00:25:50,458
But if they're round,
he's a normal guy.
611
00:25:50,541 --> 00:25:52,958
They look kinda
long and skinny.
612
00:25:53,041 --> 00:25:54,083
Really?
613
00:25:54,166 --> 00:25:56,458
Also, a New Zealand woman
had a stroke
614
00:25:56,541 --> 00:25:57,833
because of a hickey,
okay?
615
00:25:57,916 --> 00:25:59,416
-You're joking.
-So be careful.
616
00:25:59,500 --> 00:26:01,125
His mouth is lethal.
617
00:26:01,208 --> 00:26:02,791
-What are you doing?
-It's funny.
618
00:26:02,875 --> 00:26:04,500
No, it's not funny!
Give me your phone.
619
00:26:04,583 --> 00:26:05,916
-No.
-Give me your phone!
620
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,291
No!
Why do you have to be
such a douche?
621
00:26:08,375 --> 00:26:10,958
Fuck you!
622
00:26:11,041 --> 00:26:12,791
Fine, snitch on me
to Mom again.
623
00:26:12,875 --> 00:26:13,916
I don't care!
624
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:17,500
Priest: Okay,
how's everybody feeling?
625
00:26:17,583 --> 00:26:20,125
A little nervous?
It's normal.
626
00:26:20,208 --> 00:26:23,500
Okay, so I'll make
a brief intro,
627
00:26:23,583 --> 00:26:25,125
then I'll say
a few words about you...
628
00:26:25,208 --> 00:26:26,666
Nathan: Oh.
629
00:26:26,750 --> 00:26:28,208
...about how much your family
has meant to this church.
630
00:26:28,291 --> 00:26:30,750
Megan: Oh, please,
no, no, no, no.
631
00:26:30,833 --> 00:26:33,875
No, you don't have to
say anything.
632
00:26:33,958 --> 00:26:35,458
I couldn't possibly
dominate this.
633
00:26:35,541 --> 00:26:36,833
It's not about me.
634
00:26:36,916 --> 00:26:38,750
-You know --
-It's about Natalia.
635
00:26:38,833 --> 00:26:40,416
This is Natalia's day.
636
00:26:40,500 --> 00:26:43,000
I do need to say something,
Megan and Mark.
No.
637
00:26:43,083 --> 00:26:45,333
My goodness,
what you have done for us --
638
00:26:45,416 --> 00:26:48,333
No, really, please, it's not --
it's -- we do what we can.
639
00:26:48,416 --> 00:26:51,833
Okay, so I'll be reading
from 1 Corinthians.
640
00:26:51,916 --> 00:26:55,166
"Love is patient,
love is kind.
641
00:26:55,250 --> 00:26:58,041
It does not envy,
it does not boast,
642
00:26:58,125 --> 00:27:00,166
it is not proud.
643
00:27:00,250 --> 00:27:04,083
It is not rude,
it is not self-seeking,
644
00:27:04,166 --> 00:27:08,625
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
645
00:27:08,708 --> 00:27:14,541
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
646
00:27:14,625 --> 00:27:17,291
It always protects,
always trusts,
647
00:27:17,375 --> 00:27:20,625
always hopes,
always perseveres."
648
00:27:20,708 --> 00:27:22,083
Can you please just keep it
a secret?
649
00:27:22,166 --> 00:27:23,500
You just said
you're not gay.
650
00:27:23,583 --> 00:27:24,625
I'm not!
651
00:27:24,708 --> 00:27:26,208
Why would you even
record that?
652
00:27:26,291 --> 00:27:28,041
For the same reason
you took the picture.
653
00:27:28,125 --> 00:27:30,125
-It was a joke!
-Me too!
654
00:27:30,208 --> 00:27:32,541
How was I supposed to know
I was recording gay porn?
655
00:27:32,625 --> 00:27:33,916
It's not gay.
656
00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:36,041
A guy sending a guy
dick pics?
657
00:27:36,125 --> 00:27:38,791
What could be gayer
than that?
658
00:27:38,875 --> 00:27:40,208
Why wouldn't you tell me?
659
00:27:40,291 --> 00:27:42,541
There's nothing to tell.
I tell you everything.
660
00:27:42,625 --> 00:27:44,125
I told you I might even
touch a dick.
661
00:27:44,208 --> 00:27:48,875
Okay, well, maybe touching
a dick is very different.
662
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:50,291
Oh, my God.
663
00:27:50,375 --> 00:27:53,000
If you want to do secrets
and shit, fine, we'll do it.
664
00:27:53,083 --> 00:27:54,750
I just --
I thought we were --
665
00:27:54,833 --> 00:27:56,333
What?
666
00:27:56,416 --> 00:27:59,750
I don't know, like,
not like that.
667
00:27:59,833 --> 00:28:03,208
But if you show anyone
that picture,
668
00:28:03,291 --> 00:28:06,583
I will project this video
on top of the fucking school.
669
00:28:08,541 --> 00:28:11,500
[ Party music playing ]
670
00:28:11,583 --> 00:28:12,708
[ Tires screech, horn honks ]
671
00:28:12,791 --> 00:28:14,333
Fuck! Sorry.
672
00:28:14,416 --> 00:28:19,083
♪♪
673
00:28:19,166 --> 00:28:20,500
♪ Here together ♪
674
00:28:20,583 --> 00:28:23,291
Oh, hey.
I totally crashed.
675
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:29,708
♪ Here together ♪
676
00:28:29,791 --> 00:28:31,583
♪ What's your pleasure ♪
677
00:28:31,666 --> 00:28:35,000
♪ Ooh-ooh ♪
678
00:28:35,083 --> 00:28:39,208
♪ Ooh-ooh ♪
679
00:28:39,291 --> 00:28:43,083
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
680
00:28:43,166 --> 00:28:47,250
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
681
00:28:47,333 --> 00:28:48,791
Let's fuck those turtles up!
682
00:28:48,875 --> 00:28:52,958
♪ Look so pretty
dancing sideways ♪
683
00:28:53,041 --> 00:28:56,541
Hey, Jack, can I, um,
talk to you for a minute?
684
00:28:56,625 --> 00:28:57,791
Yeah.
685
00:28:57,875 --> 00:29:00,791
♪ Spin me 'round
so I'm unwinding ♪
686
00:29:00,875 --> 00:29:05,416
♪ Can you tell it's real? ♪
687
00:29:05,500 --> 00:29:10,500
♪ I know the way
to make you happy ♪
688
00:29:23,166 --> 00:29:26,208
This is, um...
689
00:29:30,541 --> 00:29:31,916
Do you feel shitty?
690
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:34,208
'Cause I feel shitty,
and Naomi saw the chat --
691
00:29:34,291 --> 00:29:36,083
She's not gonna find out.
692
00:29:36,166 --> 00:29:38,166
And it's not like it means
anything, right?
693
00:29:38,250 --> 00:29:39,541
It's just --
just a hookup?
694
00:29:39,625 --> 00:29:41,500
Yeah.
695
00:29:41,583 --> 00:29:44,041
[ Both breathing heavily ]
696
00:29:52,750 --> 00:29:54,208
Mm, mm.
Sorry.
697
00:29:54,291 --> 00:29:56,208
It's okay.
698
00:30:02,250 --> 00:30:04,416
Do you want to?
699
00:30:04,500 --> 00:30:06,583
I don't know, um...
700
00:30:08,958 --> 00:30:11,416
[ Breathing heavily ]
701
00:30:17,750 --> 00:30:18,875
[ Grunts ]
702
00:30:18,958 --> 00:30:21,416
Oh, dude, you just came
in my fucking eye!
703
00:30:21,500 --> 00:30:23,041
Oh!
704
00:30:23,125 --> 00:30:24,541
Riley:
Wait, one second, okay?
705
00:30:24,625 --> 00:30:25,958
Hold on.
I'll be right back.
706
00:30:26,041 --> 00:30:28,041
Hey. Are you okay?
I'm fine.
707
00:30:28,125 --> 00:30:30,041
Okay, I'm texting
Chester right now.
708
00:30:30,125 --> 00:30:32,416
You gotta talk to him
before he leaves.
709
00:30:32,500 --> 00:30:34,541
Hey, don't worry
about Naomi.
710
00:30:34,625 --> 00:30:35,833
You don't need a twin.
You have me.
711
00:30:35,916 --> 00:30:37,833
I'm fine,
I just need some water.
712
00:30:37,916 --> 00:30:42,916
♪♪
713
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:47,916
♪♪
714
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:50,000
-Hi.
-Nathan?
715
00:30:50,083 --> 00:30:52,250
Hey, how's it going?
716
00:30:52,333 --> 00:30:54,625
Wait, are you crying?
717
00:30:54,708 --> 00:30:57,541
No, I'm having the worst night
of my fucking life.
718
00:30:57,625 --> 00:30:58,875
Fuck!
Riley: That sucks.
719
00:30:58,958 --> 00:31:00,166
Wait a minute,
I want to talk to you.
720
00:31:00,250 --> 00:31:01,416
Hey, can you take
a picture of us?
721
00:31:01,500 --> 00:31:02,916
-Yeah, one second.
-Seriously?
722
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:04,458
I just said I was having
the worst night of my life.
723
00:31:04,541 --> 00:31:06,375
You might be having
the worst night of your life.
724
00:31:06,458 --> 00:31:08,625
Actually, no,
that might be
725
00:31:08,708 --> 00:31:12,583
when your old youth pastor
messages you on Grindr.
726
00:31:12,666 --> 00:31:14,083
But my point is...
727
00:31:14,166 --> 00:31:19,500
♪ Been living on a prayer
all along ♪
728
00:31:19,583 --> 00:31:21,208
♪ I can't erase my life ♪
729
00:31:21,291 --> 00:31:22,791
♪ Everything won't go right ♪
730
00:31:22,875 --> 00:31:24,291
♪ But still I learn ♪
731
00:31:24,375 --> 00:31:26,125
♪ Even though I'm here
on Earth ♪
732
00:31:26,208 --> 00:31:27,958
♪ Heaven is the place
I'm worth ♪
733
00:31:28,041 --> 00:31:29,500
♪ I'll make it work ♪
734
00:31:29,583 --> 00:31:31,208
♪ I wanna change, my lover ♪
735
00:31:31,291 --> 00:31:32,916
♪ Even in the days I suffer ♪
736
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:34,250
♪ I can't get worse ♪
737
00:31:34,333 --> 00:31:36,958
...that you'll never feel
this bad again.
738
00:31:37,041 --> 00:31:39,458
I'm not really
following you.
739
00:31:39,541 --> 00:31:42,125
It's okay.
740
00:31:42,208 --> 00:31:44,625
But will you remind me
tomorrow?
741
00:31:44,708 --> 00:31:47,833
It sounds like something
I really want to remember.
742
00:31:47,916 --> 00:31:50,625
♪ It's all good, it's okay ♪
743
00:31:50,708 --> 00:31:52,625
♪ Everything is going my way ♪
744
00:31:52,708 --> 00:31:54,250
♪ And when it's over ♪
745
00:31:54,333 --> 00:31:56,125
Riley: You ready?
746
00:31:56,208 --> 00:31:58,375
♪ And make it to
a brand new day ♪
747
00:31:58,458 --> 00:32:00,250
♪ And then she'll say ♪
748
00:32:12,416 --> 00:32:14,833
[ Sheets rustling ]
749
00:32:14,916 --> 00:32:18,500
How badly did I embarrass myself
in front of Chester?
750
00:32:18,583 --> 00:32:21,250
You were fine.
He liked you.
751
00:32:21,333 --> 00:32:22,541
But?
752
00:32:22,625 --> 00:32:24,916
But nothing.
753
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:26,875
But what?
754
00:32:26,958 --> 00:32:28,833
He said you were
really sweet.
755
00:32:33,916 --> 00:32:36,250
Did you actually tell Naomi
you're bi?
756
00:32:38,375 --> 00:32:40,083
No.
757
00:32:42,166 --> 00:32:44,916
I can't believe
I hooked up with Jack.
758
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:46,166
It's okay.
759
00:32:46,250 --> 00:32:48,041
It's really not.
760
00:32:48,125 --> 00:32:50,083
If I had a sister,
I would literally do nothing
761
00:32:50,166 --> 00:32:51,833
but fuck her boyfriends.
762
00:32:51,916 --> 00:32:53,916
[ Laughs ] Yeah?
763
00:32:55,708 --> 00:32:57,083
Yeah.
764
00:32:59,250 --> 00:33:02,291
Did you have fun
at your party?
765
00:33:02,375 --> 00:33:04,541
Not in a life-altering way.
766
00:33:04,625 --> 00:33:07,000
But yeah,
it was fun.
767
00:33:08,791 --> 00:33:12,250
You should go
back to bed.
768
00:33:12,333 --> 00:33:14,708
Will you sleep
next to me?
769
00:33:14,791 --> 00:33:16,541
Sure.
770
00:33:16,625 --> 00:33:18,416
In a bit.
771
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:31,916
[ Renforshort's "I Drive Me Mad"
plays ]
772
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:39,416
♪♪
773
00:33:39,500 --> 00:33:42,125
♪ I can't quite help it ♪
774
00:33:42,208 --> 00:33:44,458
♪ It's overwhelming ♪
775
00:33:44,541 --> 00:33:49,750
♪ Sometimes I wanna stick
a cigarette in my ♪
776
00:33:49,833 --> 00:33:52,333
♪ Eyes closed, not sleeping ♪
777
00:33:52,416 --> 00:33:54,750
♪ It's just hard being human ♪
778
00:33:54,833 --> 00:33:59,708
♪ Some days I wake up
and I feel like I just wanna ♪
779
00:33:59,791 --> 00:34:01,750
♪ Dye my hair neon green ♪
780
00:34:01,833 --> 00:34:04,375
♪ So I can forget I'm me ♪
781
00:34:04,458 --> 00:34:10,875
♪ Don't wanna think about
drinking a glass of gasoline ♪
782
00:34:10,958 --> 00:34:15,000
♪ I'm hyperventilating, pacing ♪
783
00:34:15,083 --> 00:34:17,333
♪ I'm losing my patience ♪
784
00:34:17,416 --> 00:34:21,458
♪ Feeling bad about shit
I didn't do ♪
785
00:34:21,541 --> 00:34:24,458
♪ So dramatic, panicked, ♪
786
00:34:24,541 --> 00:34:26,625
♪ I got pre-traumatic ♪
787
00:34:26,708 --> 00:34:28,750
♪ Stress 'cause
nothing happened yet ♪
788
00:34:28,833 --> 00:34:30,541
♪ But it did in my head ♪
789
00:34:30,625 --> 00:34:32,583
♪ I drive me mad ♪
790
00:34:32,666 --> 00:34:35,125
♪ I drive me absolutely crazy ♪
791
00:34:35,208 --> 00:34:36,791
♪ I feel bad ♪
792
00:34:36,875 --> 00:34:40,291
♪ For you 'cause I'm so
fucking paranoid and sad ♪
793
00:34:40,375 --> 00:34:43,791
♪ All the time, you could
blame it on my mind ♪
794
00:34:43,875 --> 00:34:45,625
♪ And now I'm mad ♪
795
00:34:45,708 --> 00:34:48,166
♪ I drive me mad ♪
796
00:34:48,250 --> 00:34:49,791
♪ Ah-ah-ah ♪
797
00:34:49,875 --> 00:34:57,333
♪♪
798
00:34:57,416 --> 00:35:01,166
♪ Ah, ah-ah-ah ♪
799
00:35:01,250 --> 00:35:03,875
♪ Ah-ah-ah ♪
800
00:35:03,958 --> 00:35:07,625
♪ I feel bad for you ♪
801
00:35:07,708 --> 00:35:09,833
♪ You-ooh-ooh ♪
802
00:35:09,916 --> 00:35:11,833
♪ You-ooh-ooh ♪
803
00:35:11,916 --> 00:35:16,375
♪ 'Cause I drive me mad, too ♪
♪ I drive me mad ♪
804
00:35:16,458 --> 00:35:18,541
♪ You-ooh-ooh ♪
805
00:35:18,625 --> 00:35:20,625
♪ You-ooh-ooh ♪
806
00:35:20,708 --> 00:35:24,666
♪ 'Cause I drive me mad, too ♪
♪ I drive me mad ♪
807
00:35:24,750 --> 00:35:29,208
♪ I drive me absolutely crazy,
I feel bad ♪
808
00:35:29,291 --> 00:35:32,708
♪ For you 'cause I'm so
fucking paranoid and sad ♪
809
00:35:32,791 --> 00:35:36,083
♪ All the time, you could
blame it on my mind ♪
810
00:35:36,166 --> 00:35:38,041
♪ Now I'm mad ♪
811
00:35:38,125 --> 00:35:40,333
♪ I drive me mad ♪
812
00:35:40,416 --> 00:35:42,625
♪ Ah-ah-ah ♪
54066
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