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Previously on Wynonna Earp...
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I'm so happy you finally
brought her here to meet me.
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00:00:11,108 --> 00:00:13,242
- You seem nice.
- The Clantons are in Purgatory.
5
00:00:13,247 --> 00:00:14,448
An eye for an eye.
6
00:00:14,453 --> 00:00:15,854
- Doc, I think they killed Billy.
- _
7
00:00:15,858 --> 00:00:17,727
I've been marked!
8
00:00:17,732 --> 00:00:19,997
- I'm tired of this fight.
- People can change.
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00:00:20,002 --> 00:00:21,102
Come to Mama.
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00:00:22,201 --> 00:00:23,598
Hey, sexy.
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00:00:23,603 --> 00:00:25,500
My ancestors will devour her.
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00:00:29,275 --> 00:00:31,906
I guess you and that
gun deserve each other.
13
00:00:31,911 --> 00:00:33,841
Nicole Haught, will you marry me?
14
00:00:33,846 --> 00:00:35,747
Yes, I will marry you.
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00:00:42,752 --> 00:00:44,552
_
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00:01:01,607 --> 00:01:02,870
Get a room!
17
00:01:02,875 --> 00:01:05,036
I mean it, like, legit,
they're three feet from you
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and cost less than a dental dam.
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00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:16,600
Time's up, beast.
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00:01:21,794 --> 00:01:24,496
Holy shit.
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00:01:26,332 --> 00:01:28,867
- I see you found your gun.
- And my mojo.
22
00:01:30,136 --> 00:01:33,468
Make your peace, Amon.
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00:01:54,594 --> 00:01:57,058
To the happily engaged couple!
24
00:01:58,498 --> 00:02:00,661
Again!
25
00:02:00,666 --> 00:02:02,830
Hey! It took me weeks
to find that couch.
26
00:02:02,835 --> 00:02:04,966
To Nicole and Waverly.
27
00:02:04,971 --> 00:02:07,205
May you grow old on one pillow.
28
00:02:07,974 --> 00:02:09,070
Cheers.
29
00:02:09,075 --> 00:02:10,838
Don't squander the eloquence now.
30
00:02:10,843 --> 00:02:12,711
The real engagement party's tomorrow.
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00:02:13,796 --> 00:02:16,194
Alas, I must send my regrets.
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00:02:16,199 --> 00:02:17,392
- What?
- You're not coming?
33
00:02:17,397 --> 00:02:19,897
But here is another toast.
34
00:02:19,902 --> 00:02:22,233
To all the kisses we have snatched,
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00:02:22,238 --> 00:02:24,436
and vice versa.
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00:02:24,441 --> 00:02:25,872
Oh, my God.
37
00:02:25,876 --> 00:02:27,506
Beg pardon. Sometimes in a bar,
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00:02:27,511 --> 00:02:28,837
a gentleman forgets himself.
39
00:02:28,842 --> 00:02:30,842
- I'd like to forget that.
- Hmm.
40
00:02:30,847 --> 00:02:32,744
You know what helps? Mindless labour.
41
00:02:32,749 --> 00:02:34,216
Why don't we get more ice?
42
00:02:35,618 --> 00:02:39,050
It's been over a month,
you have to come.
43
00:02:39,055 --> 00:02:41,919
This thing with Wynonna,
it's just another blip.
44
00:02:41,924 --> 00:02:44,088
Yeah, well not to me, it's not.
45
00:02:44,093 --> 00:02:46,557
Really making a go of this, huh?
46
00:02:46,562 --> 00:02:48,893
Uh, well I don't have much choice.
47
00:02:48,898 --> 00:02:51,362
Turns out Chrissy invested
my entire pension
48
00:02:51,367 --> 00:02:52,497
into this old gal.
49
00:02:52,502 --> 00:02:54,003
Okay, but you have
to get some real staff
50
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:56,237
- to help you out, alright?
- Hey, where's Wynonna?
51
00:02:56,242 --> 00:02:57,342
I really need you two
52
00:02:57,347 --> 00:02:59,270
to take care of this basement business.
53
00:02:59,275 --> 00:03:00,805
Imagine that people found out
54
00:03:00,810 --> 00:03:03,574
I've got a teenage killer
Reaper down there?
55
00:03:03,579 --> 00:03:06,811
They're mad enough I took
potato skins off the menu.
56
00:03:06,816 --> 00:03:08,713
Did you tell that little
glow stick of yours
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00:03:08,718 --> 00:03:10,718
that you wouldn't have
found it if I hadn't helped?
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00:03:12,588 --> 00:03:14,552
It says that, uh...
59
00:03:14,557 --> 00:03:17,789
a monster who knows all
the goss is still a monster.
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00:03:17,794 --> 00:03:19,757
Well, this monster isn't hurting anyone.
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00:03:19,762 --> 00:03:21,526
I'll bet you Bambi's
got a different take.
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00:03:21,531 --> 00:03:23,331
Bambi's food.
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00:03:25,234 --> 00:03:27,732
And unless you faint
at the sight of sausages
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00:03:27,737 --> 00:03:30,537
or that jacket of yours is
made of rare zucchini leather,
65
00:03:30,542 --> 00:03:33,104
- you can't judge me.
- Except, I've never donned a...
66
00:03:33,109 --> 00:03:36,011
What is that? A lobster
bib for leather queens?
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00:03:37,110 --> 00:03:39,010
If I don't wear it,
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00:03:39,015 --> 00:03:41,316
my dry-cleaning bills are a bitch.
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00:03:46,422 --> 00:03:49,320
It's just good to remember...
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00:03:49,325 --> 00:03:51,793
that I can kill you.
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00:03:53,663 --> 00:03:55,760
Any time I want.
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00:03:57,667 --> 00:03:59,568
Who told you my kink?
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Mmm...
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We back, honey.
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00:04:21,190 --> 00:04:23,287
Back in Valdosta, my uncle Thomas,
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00:04:23,292 --> 00:04:24,992
he taught me to woodwork.
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00:04:24,997 --> 00:04:27,592
Should you wish to be
married beneath an arbour,
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00:04:27,597 --> 00:04:29,961
it would be my honour to build you one.
79
00:04:29,966 --> 00:04:31,863
- As a gift.
- Doc!
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00:04:31,868 --> 00:04:34,398
You're going to make me cry.
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00:04:34,403 --> 00:04:37,739
Well, slap my ass and
call me the sister-in-law!
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00:04:39,008 --> 00:04:41,072
Except you. You're not
allowed to participate
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00:04:41,077 --> 00:04:42,974
in the slapping of ass.
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00:04:42,979 --> 00:04:45,814
Congratulations... again.
85
00:04:52,455 --> 00:04:53,951
You didn't warn me you were partying
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00:04:53,956 --> 00:04:55,186
with The Lame Ranger.
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00:04:55,191 --> 00:04:57,655
Where have you been?
We called hours ago.
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00:04:57,660 --> 00:04:59,290
Been a little busy.
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00:04:59,295 --> 00:05:02,426
Oh yeah? Too busy to celebrate
your sister's engagement?
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00:05:02,431 --> 00:05:04,529
No!
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00:05:04,534 --> 00:05:06,597
I was busy...
92
00:05:06,602 --> 00:05:09,066
making plans to celebrate.
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00:05:09,071 --> 00:05:12,703
Intricate, planny... plans.
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00:05:12,708 --> 00:05:14,338
- Really?
- Yeah.
95
00:05:14,343 --> 00:05:15,677
Oh yeah? What kind?
96
00:05:18,147 --> 00:05:20,211
The bachelorette.
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00:05:20,216 --> 00:05:21,917
Girls' night out!
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00:05:32,791 --> 00:05:35,823
This isn't a girls' night out,
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00:05:35,828 --> 00:05:37,628
this is ladies' night.
100
00:05:37,633 --> 00:05:39,627
I didn't know it would
be male strippers.
101
00:05:39,632 --> 00:05:40,832
Oh yeah? Didn't come up
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00:05:40,837 --> 00:05:42,804
when you were making your planny-plans?
103
00:05:45,107 --> 00:05:47,338
Hey! Giuseppe!
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00:05:47,343 --> 00:05:49,440
- This bride needs a delivery!
- No. Stop.
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00:05:49,445 --> 00:05:51,442
- Stop!
- Come bring the soppressata!
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00:05:53,049 --> 00:05:54,712
Another bride!
107
00:05:54,717 --> 00:05:57,217
Uh, no, I'm not a bride.
108
00:05:57,222 --> 00:05:59,083
But I am her fiancée!
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Cute!
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00:06:00,790 --> 00:06:03,888
Love the lob, girl.
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00:06:03,893 --> 00:06:05,456
- Shots?
- Oh...
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00:06:05,461 --> 00:06:08,159
My bridal party bailed
to go to Bible study.
113
00:06:08,164 --> 00:06:10,828
Well, it is noon on a Sunday.
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Okay. Oh!
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Yep!
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00:06:21,611 --> 00:06:24,512
Definitely time to get that
hot ginger off the market.
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As if you have anything to worry about.
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00:06:27,750 --> 00:06:29,480
Everybody loves Waverly Earp.
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00:06:29,485 --> 00:06:31,286
Nobody's gonna steal your sunshine.
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00:06:32,755 --> 00:06:36,020
Yeah, well, Nicole wants
to do it ASAP anyway.
121
00:06:36,025 --> 00:06:38,256
Maybe just at City Hall.
122
00:06:38,261 --> 00:06:42,860
But how will the sparrows
weave your gown that quickly?
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00:06:42,865 --> 00:06:44,595
It's her second.
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00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:47,369
She wasn't even a fancy
wedding person the first time.
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00:06:48,804 --> 00:06:51,535
Yeah, but you've had bridal scrapbooks
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since you were ten.
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Just tell her what you want, baby girl.
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You deserve it.
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00:06:57,614 --> 00:06:59,644
Tie down those saddlebags,
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00:06:59,649 --> 00:07:02,680
the West is getting wild!
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00:07:02,685 --> 00:07:05,616
Welcome... Demetri!
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00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:13,958
Oh baby, you should smile
more! You'd be prettier!
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00:07:13,963 --> 00:07:16,694
Reverse sexism is still sexism, Wynonna.
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Fine.
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00:07:18,167 --> 00:07:20,031
Show us your big...
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00:07:20,036 --> 00:07:21,837
personality!
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00:07:26,175 --> 00:07:28,105
I know him.
138
00:07:29,612 --> 00:07:31,212
One bourbon, on the rocks.
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00:07:32,982 --> 00:07:34,749
You get juice.
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00:07:37,687 --> 00:07:39,517
Kid your age should be in school.
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00:07:39,522 --> 00:07:40,685
Pass.
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00:07:40,690 --> 00:07:42,386
I have nightmares about school.
143
00:07:42,391 --> 00:07:44,021
I end up naked in front of an assembly,
144
00:07:44,026 --> 00:07:45,824
forgetting the words
to the national anthem.
145
00:07:45,828 --> 00:07:47,858
Hmm.
146
00:07:47,863 --> 00:07:50,298
There'd be other kids
your age to hang out with.
147
00:07:51,367 --> 00:07:54,632
Yeah, last time I tried that,
didn't turn out so well.
148
00:07:54,637 --> 00:07:56,334
Billy Clanton.
149
00:07:56,339 --> 00:07:58,703
I didn't know he was a Clanton.
150
00:07:58,708 --> 00:08:01,339
I don't blame people
for doing what they do
151
00:08:01,344 --> 00:08:02,840
when they don't know what that is.
152
00:08:02,845 --> 00:08:04,508
Like when you were a barnacle beast
153
00:08:04,513 --> 00:08:06,114
and totally ate Nicole's cat?
154
00:08:07,350 --> 00:08:09,711
Sorry. I... I get weird
155
00:08:09,716 --> 00:08:11,916
when I spend too much
time at the homestead.
156
00:08:11,921 --> 00:08:13,254
Alone.
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00:08:15,191 --> 00:08:16,854
Well...
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00:08:16,859 --> 00:08:18,593
I need a bar-back.
159
00:08:19,495 --> 00:08:21,095
You clean up, you follow my rules,
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00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:23,995
you don't drink the booze,
you never go in the basement,
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00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:25,863
and you never, ever...
162
00:08:25,868 --> 00:08:27,932
mention the cat again.
163
00:08:27,937 --> 00:08:29,938
I swear on the bones of Calamity Jane.
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00:08:30,873 --> 00:08:32,040
That was the last time.
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00:08:33,275 --> 00:08:34,442
Okay.
166
00:08:35,344 --> 00:08:37,145
Well, Rachel...
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00:08:38,748 --> 00:08:40,444
welcome to Team Shorty's.
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00:08:40,449 --> 00:08:42,213
Yay!
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00:08:45,988 --> 00:08:48,052
Butterball, Horn Dog,
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- Blowjob!
- Oh!
171
00:08:50,292 --> 00:08:52,289
What is Friday night at my ex's?
172
00:08:52,294 --> 00:08:54,825
Ding! You win a shot!
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00:08:54,830 --> 00:08:56,560
- Aye.
- Aye, aye, aye.
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00:08:58,901 --> 00:09:01,265
You know, I would take it
over another night with my ex.
175
00:09:01,270 --> 00:09:02,733
Oh, yeah.
176
00:09:02,738 --> 00:09:04,305
Smug moustache...
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00:09:05,474 --> 00:09:08,005
Lectures on my morality...
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00:09:08,010 --> 00:09:13,210
Grabbing me like I'm a
mustang he's gonna break.
179
00:09:13,215 --> 00:09:16,247
Only that lightning-fast
hands down my pants
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00:09:16,252 --> 00:09:18,149
before I can even wish he...
181
00:09:18,154 --> 00:09:19,583
Ugh!
182
00:09:19,588 --> 00:09:21,218
I'd tell you to move on to women,
183
00:09:21,223 --> 00:09:23,120
but they're just as bad.
184
00:09:23,125 --> 00:09:25,056
Love is like the Tooth Fairy.
185
00:09:25,061 --> 00:09:26,691
Never pays as well as you think?
186
00:09:26,696 --> 00:09:28,396
It don't exist!
187
00:09:29,932 --> 00:09:32,296
And I know! I've tried it all.
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00:09:32,301 --> 00:09:33,535
I'm pan.
189
00:09:34,937 --> 00:09:36,934
Pan I buy you another drink?
190
00:09:36,939 --> 00:09:38,440
Uh...
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00:09:40,476 --> 00:09:43,340
Drinks, pink, purple,
blue, what you got?
192
00:09:43,345 --> 00:09:45,213
No love is real.
193
00:09:46,118 --> 00:09:47,918
I know that for a fact,
194
00:09:47,923 --> 00:09:50,958
because I am a love professional.
195
00:09:53,689 --> 00:09:56,854
Love might be the
only thing that's real.
196
00:09:56,859 --> 00:09:58,989
Nicole died for me.
197
00:09:58,994 --> 00:10:01,625
And I would kill for her.
198
00:10:01,630 --> 00:10:04,528
And if you can't feel that much,
199
00:10:04,533 --> 00:10:06,630
then I'm sorry for you.
200
00:10:06,635 --> 00:10:08,403
Truly.
201
00:10:12,108 --> 00:10:13,671
You wanna bet on it?
202
00:10:13,676 --> 00:10:15,306
What, that love is real?
203
00:10:15,311 --> 00:10:19,376
I don't know how we could
prove who won, but...
204
00:10:19,381 --> 00:10:20,811
sure.
205
00:10:23,052 --> 00:10:26,187
Tell your sister she
is a delightful lunatic.
206
00:10:27,790 --> 00:10:31,522
And godspeed spreading
all that totally real love
207
00:10:31,527 --> 00:10:33,724
through the world.
208
00:10:33,729 --> 00:10:35,563
And good luck with your strippering.
209
00:10:50,087 --> 00:10:53,119
Well, with Sheriff Holt
and his sister gone,
210
00:10:53,124 --> 00:10:54,724
there's no one here to man the store.
211
00:10:55,593 --> 00:10:57,924
Will there even be marriage
license applications?
212
00:10:57,929 --> 00:11:00,330
Usually, they're here.
213
00:11:01,866 --> 00:11:04,130
Mmm, baby.
214
00:11:04,135 --> 00:11:05,902
Hi.
215
00:11:06,804 --> 00:11:09,702
Hey, have you thought maybe...
216
00:11:09,707 --> 00:11:11,170
a suit?
217
00:11:11,175 --> 00:11:12,709
For the wedding?
218
00:11:14,211 --> 00:11:16,575
- What did I do?
- No, no, nothing.
219
00:11:16,580 --> 00:11:18,678
You did nothing. It's just...
220
00:11:18,683 --> 00:11:20,513
the public stuff.
221
00:11:20,518 --> 00:11:22,815
I just feel like what we have is...
222
00:11:22,820 --> 00:11:25,284
between us, you know, babe? It's ours.
223
00:11:25,289 --> 00:11:27,724
Nicole, there's nobody here.
224
00:11:28,659 --> 00:11:30,756
Yeah, no.
225
00:11:30,761 --> 00:11:32,925
Just me and the Lord.
226
00:11:32,930 --> 00:11:34,660
And that curling trophy.
227
00:11:34,665 --> 00:11:36,362
Bunny Loblaw?
228
00:11:36,367 --> 00:11:38,264
Ms. Haught.
229
00:11:38,269 --> 00:11:41,167
Good to see you still know
where the police station is.
230
00:11:41,172 --> 00:11:42,998
Well, I'm not your sheriff
anymore, Bunny.
231
00:11:43,003 --> 00:11:44,204
And we're here on personal business.
232
00:11:44,208 --> 00:11:45,838
Oh, let me guess.
233
00:11:45,843 --> 00:11:48,174
You want to institute Flannel Fridays,
234
00:11:48,179 --> 00:11:50,076
and oh, maybe a few more
235
00:11:50,081 --> 00:11:52,011
off-leash dog parks?
236
00:11:52,016 --> 00:11:54,046
Well, I'm a cat person.
237
00:11:54,051 --> 00:11:57,750
Oh, I remember that homicidal puss.
238
00:11:57,755 --> 00:12:00,319
Uh, is there someone else
we should be bothering
239
00:12:00,324 --> 00:12:03,656
- with this request?
- Hmm... Uh-uh!
240
00:12:03,661 --> 00:12:06,325
I am a one-woman volunteer city hall
241
00:12:06,330 --> 00:12:08,561
in a town of scofflaws.
242
00:12:08,566 --> 00:12:11,831
- Scofflaws?
- Scofflaws! Layabouts!
243
00:12:11,836 --> 00:12:13,770
Lesbians.
244
00:12:27,184 --> 00:12:31,650
My God, Waverly, you are so beautiful.
245
00:12:31,655 --> 00:12:34,520
Have you always been
this beautiful before?
246
00:12:34,525 --> 00:12:37,156
Uh... How long will it
take to get a license?
247
00:12:37,161 --> 00:12:39,358
God, like, you're hot!
248
00:12:39,363 --> 00:12:43,162
You are like the wildest
combination of sweet and hot.
249
00:12:43,167 --> 00:12:44,830
The Clayborns...
250
00:12:44,835 --> 00:12:46,198
Clantons.
251
00:12:46,203 --> 00:12:47,733
Well, they've disappeared.
252
00:12:47,738 --> 00:12:48,968
And without a magistrate,
253
00:12:48,973 --> 00:12:50,803
I cannot guarantee a quick turnaround.
254
00:12:50,808 --> 00:12:52,268
Oh, you're like honey mustard.
255
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:54,502
- I wanna spread you all over a pretzel.
- Sorry.
256
00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:56,007
No, no, no!
257
00:12:56,012 --> 00:12:58,310
You do not do that in here!
258
00:12:58,315 --> 00:13:00,913
This is not a soccer locker room!
259
00:13:00,918 --> 00:13:03,115
Listen, you have to afford
us the same rights
260
00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:05,509
as any other couple. Look,
I do not want to fight,
261
00:13:05,514 --> 00:13:07,053
but I will if I have to.
262
00:13:07,058 --> 00:13:09,288
Stop.
263
00:13:09,293 --> 00:13:12,429
Fine. Oh, please.
264
00:13:15,232 --> 00:13:17,000
Thank you, Ms. Loblaw.
265
00:13:22,751 --> 00:13:25,382
You have got to go home.
I don't know what that was,
266
00:13:25,387 --> 00:13:27,117
but I do not need it on my next errand!
267
00:13:27,122 --> 00:13:28,720
What do you mean, I
can't come with you?!
268
00:13:28,724 --> 00:13:30,974
Take seven cold showers
and only think about
269
00:13:30,979 --> 00:13:32,813
- Band of Brothers.
- Ugh!
270
00:13:33,724 --> 00:13:34,886
Can I shut this for you?
271
00:13:44,565 --> 00:13:46,399
Anything you want.
272
00:13:47,671 --> 00:13:48,838
Oh...
273
00:13:51,591 --> 00:13:52,787
It's apple.
274
00:13:52,792 --> 00:13:55,557
Okay?
275
00:13:55,562 --> 00:13:59,561
In China, the word for apple is "ping",
276
00:13:59,566 --> 00:14:02,931
which is also a homonym for peace.
277
00:14:02,936 --> 00:14:04,199
Peace?
278
00:14:04,204 --> 00:14:06,634
Your sister is killing my business
279
00:14:06,639 --> 00:14:08,803
by killing my customers.
280
00:14:08,808 --> 00:14:11,510
And I will mention that to her.
281
00:14:12,545 --> 00:14:14,375
Anyway...
282
00:14:14,380 --> 00:14:17,416
I went to pick up a marriage
application today.
283
00:14:19,955 --> 00:14:23,788
Was little Cleo Clanton in the office?
284
00:14:23,793 --> 00:14:25,456
- The magistrate?
- Mm-hmm.
285
00:14:25,461 --> 00:14:26,924
Nope.
286
00:14:26,929 --> 00:14:29,960
Something big happened over
on their ranch awhile back.
287
00:14:29,965 --> 00:14:32,605
Margo Clanton is one bitch of a witch.
288
00:14:32,610 --> 00:14:36,480
Only something spectacular
could've taken her out.
289
00:14:39,450 --> 00:14:41,017
Why don't you cut to the chase?
290
00:14:42,453 --> 00:14:44,784
I want to choose a date,
291
00:14:44,789 --> 00:14:47,954
but my fiancée is nervous because of...
292
00:14:47,959 --> 00:14:50,156
well, all the...
293
00:14:50,161 --> 00:14:52,329
yous... around.
294
00:14:53,297 --> 00:14:56,329
If I could tell her there was a day
295
00:14:56,334 --> 00:14:59,532
that we'd been promised a truce,
296
00:14:59,537 --> 00:15:01,534
that would help a ton.
297
00:15:01,539 --> 00:15:04,837
Just one day of...
298
00:15:04,842 --> 00:15:06,343
ping!
299
00:15:07,745 --> 00:15:09,842
That was weird.
300
00:15:23,995 --> 00:15:25,491
Waverly Earp...
301
00:15:25,496 --> 00:15:30,396
I will fight for you to have
peace for all your days.
302
00:15:30,401 --> 00:15:33,199
Just the one will be peachy.
303
00:15:33,204 --> 00:15:34,867
Thanks.
304
00:15:34,872 --> 00:15:36,173
Ah...
305
00:15:37,708 --> 00:15:40,377
What did happen with
you and Mam Clanton?
306
00:15:45,082 --> 00:15:46,550
I don't remember.
307
00:15:48,152 --> 00:15:50,683
I only touched her.
308
00:15:50,688 --> 00:15:52,122
Could that have killed her?
309
00:15:53,691 --> 00:15:55,292
You are powerful.
310
00:15:56,294 --> 00:15:59,129
But all I want is to be happy.
311
00:15:59,931 --> 00:16:02,094
I'm engaged.
312
00:16:02,099 --> 00:16:04,297
I'm in love.
313
00:16:04,302 --> 00:16:07,300
I want that for everyone.
314
00:16:07,305 --> 00:16:09,406
Including you.
315
00:16:11,409 --> 00:16:13,310
I know, little lamb.
316
00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:18,578
But we need to know what
happened to Holt's sister.
317
00:16:18,583 --> 00:16:20,313
Maybe Cleo's happy too.
318
00:16:21,619 --> 00:16:23,620
Maybe somebody should find out.
319
00:16:26,290 --> 00:16:29,055
Oh, I missed you! What took you so long?
320
00:16:29,060 --> 00:16:31,924
What was that, at the police station?
321
00:16:31,929 --> 00:16:34,794
I... love you...
322
00:16:34,799 --> 00:16:37,693
so much. It's like
I'm full of love lava,
323
00:16:37,698 --> 00:16:40,433
and it wants to burst out of my skin.
324
00:16:40,438 --> 00:16:42,101
I'm Mount Haught.
325
00:16:43,874 --> 00:16:46,702
Okay, you were extra standoffish
326
00:16:46,707 --> 00:16:47,907
until Bunny appeared.
327
00:16:47,912 --> 00:16:50,476
And then, you turned
into a horny octopus!
328
00:16:50,481 --> 00:16:52,078
Baby, I'm gonna die if you're angry.
329
00:16:52,082 --> 00:16:53,646
Hey!
330
00:16:53,651 --> 00:16:55,548
Look!
331
00:16:55,553 --> 00:16:56,953
Hey!
332
00:16:57,788 --> 00:16:59,285
Are you possessed again?
333
00:16:59,290 --> 00:17:00,557
What?
334
00:17:01,926 --> 00:17:04,690
Ow! No!
335
00:17:04,695 --> 00:17:07,293
Baby, it's just that...
336
00:17:07,298 --> 00:17:08,694
It's your wedding.
337
00:17:08,699 --> 00:17:12,231
It should have everything that you want.
338
00:17:12,236 --> 00:17:13,766
You want costume changes!
339
00:17:13,771 --> 00:17:16,135
Or, oh! Sky writing!
340
00:17:16,140 --> 00:17:17,674
Are you making fun of me?
341
00:17:18,776 --> 00:17:20,773
We should release doves.
342
00:17:20,778 --> 00:17:22,675
Or butterflies.
343
00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:25,544
And we need to nail down a
wedding hashtag, like, stat!
344
00:17:25,549 --> 00:17:27,713
Someone's here. I should...
345
00:17:27,718 --> 00:17:30,416
No, but... Hey, hey! What about WaveNic?
346
00:17:30,421 --> 00:17:32,185
Or Heatwave?
347
00:17:32,190 --> 00:17:34,291
Wayhaught!
348
00:17:35,359 --> 00:17:37,290
No, that's ridiculous.
349
00:17:37,295 --> 00:17:40,259
You cannot marry Nicole Haught!
350
00:17:40,264 --> 00:17:41,761
Okay, that's enough.
351
00:17:41,766 --> 00:17:43,763
Get your homophobia off my homestead.
352
00:17:43,768 --> 00:17:47,199
I know I am an inexperienced gay.
353
00:17:47,204 --> 00:17:49,639
In fact, I haven't
really gayed at all...
354
00:17:51,208 --> 00:17:55,274
But I raided every single craft store,
355
00:17:55,279 --> 00:17:58,344
and I got you these...
356
00:17:58,349 --> 00:17:59,679
faux-ses.
357
00:17:59,684 --> 00:18:02,715
Because, Waverly Earp,
358
00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:04,587
I love you.
359
00:18:05,423 --> 00:18:07,219
Nope!
360
00:18:07,224 --> 00:18:09,488
Nope. A whole bunch of nopes.
361
00:18:09,493 --> 00:18:11,488
- Oh, oh, oh!
- Okay? I'll call you.
362
00:18:11,492 --> 00:18:13,192
But you don't even have my number.
363
00:18:13,197 --> 00:18:15,428
- I definitely do.
- No, no, no, you don't!
364
00:18:15,433 --> 00:18:17,863
- Yeah, thanks for coming by!
- You look so pretty.
365
00:18:17,868 --> 00:18:20,529
You know, I have an old copy
of Bend It Like Beckham.
366
00:18:20,534 --> 00:18:21,734
We can watch it together!
367
00:18:30,081 --> 00:18:31,715
I want you to have these.
368
00:18:39,323 --> 00:18:41,087
Bunny Loblaw's hot for you?
369
00:18:41,092 --> 00:18:44,194
It's gotta be a... prank?
370
00:18:45,730 --> 00:18:48,828
Girl. You can get it.
371
00:18:48,833 --> 00:18:51,764
Nobody wants that it,
but you can get it.
372
00:18:51,769 --> 00:18:55,372
How, why am I suddenly
everybody's thing?
373
00:18:56,540 --> 00:18:58,775
Because it's a day that ends in Y?
374
00:19:00,411 --> 00:19:03,413
Or I made one hell of a bad bet.
375
00:19:20,914 --> 00:19:24,013
Loblaw's into your flaming ladybug.
376
00:19:24,017 --> 00:19:26,551
Stop.
377
00:19:27,553 --> 00:19:30,752
Ooh! That stone-cold battle-axe
378
00:19:30,757 --> 00:19:33,021
wants you to pat the Bunny!
379
00:19:33,026 --> 00:19:34,555
It's not funny.
380
00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:37,292
What if there's something
seriously wrong with her?
381
00:19:37,297 --> 00:19:39,894
Baby girl, what's wrong with Bunbun...
382
00:19:39,899 --> 00:19:42,730
is she's a homophobic
hoe, and you fixed it
383
00:19:42,735 --> 00:19:45,270
- with your magical coochie!
- Stop!
384
00:19:48,007 --> 00:19:50,738
Honestly, I am in awe!
385
00:19:50,743 --> 00:19:53,207
Maybe it's that thing
where somebody gets taken
386
00:19:53,212 --> 00:19:55,810
off the market, and is
suddenly more appealing.
387
00:19:55,815 --> 00:19:58,046
Still doesn't explain how
Bunny's suddenly moved
388
00:19:58,051 --> 00:19:59,514
to Sapphic City.
389
00:19:59,519 --> 00:20:03,051
And today has had an extra
serving of whackadoo.
390
00:20:03,056 --> 00:20:04,385
No, first...
391
00:20:04,390 --> 00:20:07,622
Nicole was all over me
with triple X PDA.
392
00:20:07,627 --> 00:20:10,258
And then, I went to talk to that Amon?
393
00:20:10,263 --> 00:20:12,054
He acted like we were on a fantasy
394
00:20:12,059 --> 00:20:14,762
overnight episode of The Bachelorette.
395
00:20:14,767 --> 00:20:16,798
There it is!
396
00:20:16,803 --> 00:20:18,032
What?
397
00:20:18,037 --> 00:20:19,400
It's always a demon.
398
00:20:19,405 --> 00:20:21,903
Oh, no, no, it can't be.
399
00:20:21,908 --> 00:20:23,809
I saw Bunny first.
400
00:20:25,912 --> 00:20:28,743
I'll take care of him. You stay here.
401
00:20:28,748 --> 00:20:30,778
No, I'm coming.
402
00:20:30,783 --> 00:20:32,413
I have another theory.
403
00:20:45,631 --> 00:20:47,499
Lord Almighty.
404
00:20:51,804 --> 00:20:53,305
Who is here?
405
00:20:54,474 --> 00:20:57,905
I will give you until the count of five.
406
00:20:57,910 --> 00:20:59,407
One...
407
00:21:01,314 --> 00:21:02,810
Two...
408
00:21:09,956 --> 00:21:11,656
Five.
409
00:21:12,792 --> 00:21:14,489
You here to kill me?
410
00:21:17,296 --> 00:21:19,631
I promised your brother I would not.
411
00:21:21,367 --> 00:21:23,531
But I want you to.
412
00:21:23,536 --> 00:21:25,199
Please.
413
00:21:25,204 --> 00:21:28,136
Just make the whole thing end.
414
00:21:30,209 --> 00:21:32,340
We must tend to whatever's
left of your mother.
415
00:21:32,345 --> 00:21:34,112
I can't!
416
00:21:35,148 --> 00:21:38,146
I need her to tell me what to do next!
417
00:21:38,151 --> 00:21:40,381
You need to snap out
of whatever this is.
418
00:21:58,777 --> 00:22:01,175
Are you fixing to flood
the whole damn county
419
00:22:01,180 --> 00:22:02,537
with them tears, love?
420
00:22:02,542 --> 00:22:05,506
Seeing a girl cry will
break any man's heart.
421
00:22:05,511 --> 00:22:08,465
But when that girl is brave,
422
00:22:08,470 --> 00:22:10,800
tenacious, and fierce?
423
00:22:10,805 --> 00:22:13,103
Well...
424
00:22:13,108 --> 00:22:15,676
You're nearly tearing
this outlaw's heart in two.
425
00:22:19,608 --> 00:22:21,108
Well, fuck me, that was hot.
426
00:22:22,031 --> 00:22:23,761
Hey elk dicker!
427
00:22:23,766 --> 00:22:25,767
Get your animal eating ass out here.
428
00:22:27,088 --> 00:22:30,253
In future, you could start with hello.
429
00:22:30,258 --> 00:22:31,921
Hello.
430
00:22:31,926 --> 00:22:33,423
Fawn fucker.
431
00:22:33,428 --> 00:22:35,025
I'm not a zoophile.
432
00:22:35,030 --> 00:22:37,627
Beware koalas, I hear
they all have chlamydia.
433
00:22:53,114 --> 00:22:55,445
That word too big for you?
434
00:22:55,450 --> 00:22:57,080
I don't sleep with animals.
435
00:22:57,085 --> 00:23:02,022
Would you consider a slightly
oversexed gunslinger?
436
00:23:02,791 --> 00:23:05,955
I give great...
437
00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:07,857
... everything.
438
00:23:10,665 --> 00:23:12,829
Don't look! You'll fall for me!
439
00:23:12,834 --> 00:23:15,702
Someone's been reading her
daily affirmation cards.
440
00:23:16,471 --> 00:23:18,005
It's for your own protection.
441
00:23:19,074 --> 00:23:20,970
I can't fall in love.
442
00:23:20,975 --> 00:23:22,843
Because you don't believe in it?
443
00:23:25,313 --> 00:23:28,415
Because I am immune to the spell.
444
00:23:29,284 --> 00:23:31,247
I knew you did it!
445
00:23:31,252 --> 00:23:32,382
Mmm, ooh!
446
00:23:32,387 --> 00:23:35,185
Demetri, I never actually
bet you anything.
447
00:23:35,190 --> 00:23:37,420
Stop making everyone gaga over me!
448
00:23:37,425 --> 00:23:40,156
Well, they shouldn't be falling for you.
449
00:23:40,161 --> 00:23:42,225
Not if you're doing it right.
450
00:23:42,230 --> 00:23:44,027
Wait...
451
00:23:44,032 --> 00:23:45,361
I'm doing it?
452
00:23:45,366 --> 00:23:49,165
You said you were a love professional.
453
00:23:49,170 --> 00:23:51,868
At first I thought that
was some new woke term
454
00:23:51,873 --> 00:23:54,908
for strippers, but then, I realized.
455
00:23:55,807 --> 00:23:57,207
How did you do this to me?
456
00:23:57,212 --> 00:23:59,409
Ugh, honestly, girl,
457
00:23:59,414 --> 00:24:02,549
don't you ever do your laundry?
Check your pockets.
458
00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:08,218
As far as spells go, it's stupid easy.
459
00:24:08,223 --> 00:24:10,618
Decide who you think
should fall in love,
460
00:24:10,623 --> 00:24:13,923
and then, flick a little of
your secret sauce on 'em.
461
00:24:13,928 --> 00:24:16,228
Ew. Don't say secret sauce.
462
00:24:16,233 --> 00:24:18,528
Only tricky part is...
463
00:24:18,533 --> 00:24:20,897
make sure the flickee sees the target
464
00:24:20,902 --> 00:24:23,804
you want them to fall for immediately.
465
00:24:24,681 --> 00:24:27,883
Because they're all in on
the first person they see.
466
00:24:29,310 --> 00:24:30,944
All in?
467
00:24:33,047 --> 00:24:35,682
I will not sleep with you.
468
00:24:36,942 --> 00:24:39,877
Why?! Because I'm the Earp heir?
469
00:24:40,822 --> 00:24:42,189
Come here!
470
00:24:43,124 --> 00:24:45,054
Because I love Waverly!
471
00:24:46,461 --> 00:24:48,224
What?
472
00:24:48,229 --> 00:24:50,226
She's just, she's so pure,
473
00:24:50,231 --> 00:24:51,895
and she's so genuine.
474
00:24:51,900 --> 00:24:54,364
She's so much cuter than
the cutest of buttons.
475
00:24:54,369 --> 00:24:56,165
Since when is that your thing?
476
00:24:56,170 --> 00:24:59,001
Right? I mean, Doc is usually
at the top of my lust chart.
477
00:24:59,006 --> 00:25:01,567
I mean, the man is a
universal arousal architect.
478
00:25:01,572 --> 00:25:02,972
No, I am! I am!
479
00:25:02,977 --> 00:25:06,142
But the heart is a demanding master.
480
00:25:06,147 --> 00:25:09,078
And mine only wants your sister.
481
00:25:09,083 --> 00:25:10,747
My engagement party is tonight.
482
00:25:10,752 --> 00:25:13,950
I can't do this job. I don't want to.
483
00:25:13,955 --> 00:25:15,718
That's why I moved into delivery.
484
00:25:15,723 --> 00:25:17,287
Better tips, better hours,
485
00:25:17,292 --> 00:25:18,955
and you're allowed to eat the fries
486
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:20,327
that fall out of the bag.
487
00:25:22,311 --> 00:25:25,012
Also, this spell ignores consent!
488
00:25:26,467 --> 00:25:28,068
You know...
489
00:25:28,870 --> 00:25:31,601
You moderns are so single-minded.
490
00:25:31,606 --> 00:25:34,103
There's all kinds of love!
491
00:25:34,108 --> 00:25:35,505
Sex doesn't enter the equation
492
00:25:35,510 --> 00:25:37,290
unless that's what the
client really wants.
493
00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:40,143
Mm-mm.
494
00:25:43,184 --> 00:25:46,149
What if I bury the glitter and just go?
495
00:25:46,154 --> 00:25:47,884
Cupids...
496
00:25:47,889 --> 00:25:50,490
can only quit if they
pass it on by choice.
497
00:25:51,459 --> 00:25:53,890
A Cupid?
498
00:25:53,895 --> 00:25:56,092
Those were wing scars.
499
00:25:56,097 --> 00:25:58,528
I had them removed. So over the top.
500
00:25:58,533 --> 00:26:01,664
You were a Cupid and you
stopped believing in love?
501
00:26:01,669 --> 00:26:03,833
Oh, also...
502
00:26:03,838 --> 00:26:07,036
Be prepared to keep explaining
why you're not a fat baby.
503
00:26:07,041 --> 00:26:09,843
You know, stereotypes!
504
00:26:11,179 --> 00:26:12,579
Ta-ta!
505
00:26:17,051 --> 00:26:18,481
So you're saying...
506
00:26:18,486 --> 00:26:19,849
That's how you spread the love,
507
00:26:19,854 --> 00:26:22,051
with that little jar of sparkles?
508
00:26:22,056 --> 00:26:23,586
Yeah, I have to figure out a way
509
00:26:23,591 --> 00:26:25,626
to responsibly pass it on.
510
00:26:26,661 --> 00:26:29,492
I... I can't skip my own party!
511
00:26:29,497 --> 00:26:31,995
Nicole has a surprise for me.
512
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:33,630
I'm scared.
513
00:26:33,635 --> 00:26:35,643
Fifty bucks says she got
your name tattooed
514
00:26:35,648 --> 00:26:36,848
across her boobs.
515
00:26:37,605 --> 00:26:41,604
Which are so great, right?
516
00:26:41,609 --> 00:26:43,840
What did you call her boobs?
517
00:26:43,845 --> 00:26:45,673
I'm not in love with her, don't freak.
518
00:26:45,678 --> 00:26:49,078
I'm just... making sure that you are...
519
00:26:49,083 --> 00:26:50,780
still...
520
00:26:50,785 --> 00:26:52,653
into boobs, generally.
521
00:26:55,690 --> 00:26:57,454
- Wynonna?
- Yes?
522
00:26:57,459 --> 00:27:00,089
You sure you haven't had
any love zombie symptoms?
523
00:27:00,094 --> 00:27:02,058
Nope. Nothin' but net.
524
00:27:02,063 --> 00:27:04,360
Hmm.
525
00:27:04,365 --> 00:27:06,867
Maybe you're resistant to the spell.
526
00:27:08,002 --> 00:27:09,999
More like looked in the mirror
527
00:27:10,004 --> 00:27:13,269
and fell for the actual
hottest woman around.
528
00:27:13,274 --> 00:27:15,505
Good Golden Globes!
529
00:27:15,510 --> 00:27:17,640
You know Doc's not coming, right?
530
00:27:17,645 --> 00:27:19,709
Who?
531
00:27:19,714 --> 00:27:24,781
Listen, the only problem
you really have is...
532
00:27:24,786 --> 00:27:26,149
people adore you,
533
00:27:26,154 --> 00:27:28,088
which must be so hard.
534
00:27:28,923 --> 00:27:30,953
Can I borrow some mascara?
535
00:27:30,958 --> 00:27:32,555
Yeah, sure.
536
00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:34,991
Listen, just leave
that glitter shit here.
537
00:27:34,996 --> 00:27:36,296
It'll be safe,
538
00:27:36,301 --> 00:27:38,401
and we'll find a fat baby
to curse tomorrow.
539
00:27:38,406 --> 00:27:39,655
Oops!
540
00:27:43,571 --> 00:27:45,439
Okay.
541
00:27:49,010 --> 00:27:50,573
- Hey.
- Hey!
542
00:27:50,578 --> 00:27:52,675
Shall we go celebrate?
543
00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:54,281
I am so ready.
544
00:27:55,228 --> 00:27:57,930
The big guns are locked and loaded.
545
00:28:06,372 --> 00:28:08,236
Hi everyo... ahh!
546
00:28:08,241 --> 00:28:11,105
Hello, fiancée, who is marrying me.
547
00:28:11,110 --> 00:28:13,979
Welcome to our engagement party.
548
00:28:15,231 --> 00:28:17,044
Bunny! I wasn't expecting you.
549
00:28:17,049 --> 00:28:18,382
Yeah, nice blazer.
550
00:28:19,151 --> 00:28:20,381
You didn't call.
551
00:28:20,386 --> 00:28:22,716
I got two phones with
the exact same number
552
00:28:22,721 --> 00:28:23,821
so I didn't miss you.
553
00:28:25,124 --> 00:28:26,687
And Amon too!
554
00:28:26,692 --> 00:28:28,489
Well, your sister mentioned
555
00:28:28,494 --> 00:28:29,858
- Ow!
- ... the party, and I thought...
556
00:28:29,862 --> 00:28:32,490
maybe I might be of service.
557
00:28:32,495 --> 00:28:34,495
Raise your hand if you need servicing.
558
00:28:34,500 --> 00:28:36,434
- I'd like to hit that.
- Uh...
559
00:28:39,534 --> 00:28:40,867
Bunny? Come with me.
560
00:28:42,090 --> 00:28:45,389
This is your sister's engagement party.
561
00:28:45,394 --> 00:28:46,857
Did you have to go full on whore?
562
00:28:46,862 --> 00:28:48,892
I do look great. Nedley?
563
00:28:48,897 --> 00:28:51,829
Get Bunny a nice glass of water, okay?
564
00:28:51,834 --> 00:28:53,535
Give her all the boozes, alright?
565
00:28:53,539 --> 00:28:56,099
Get her so sloshed she
thinks she's Jann Arden.
566
00:29:12,454 --> 00:29:15,485
Cheese and crackers, Bonita.
567
00:29:15,490 --> 00:29:17,955
You know, you haven't looked
this great since church camp.
568
00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:19,160
You get your hair done?
569
00:29:24,666 --> 00:29:26,463
And that's when I knew...
570
00:29:26,468 --> 00:29:29,633
not only was I going
to win the bullfight,
571
00:29:29,638 --> 00:29:32,970
but I was gonna become
Spain's champion matador.
572
00:29:32,975 --> 00:29:34,671
She's a vegan.
573
00:29:34,676 --> 00:29:36,206
Amon?
574
00:29:36,211 --> 00:29:39,810
I am extremely interested
in bull riding.
575
00:29:39,815 --> 00:29:42,179
Or being ridden like one.
576
00:29:42,184 --> 00:29:43,213
Okay!
577
00:29:43,218 --> 00:29:44,986
Why are you doing this?
578
00:29:45,988 --> 00:29:47,985
Because Waverly's never inviting you
579
00:29:47,990 --> 00:29:50,190
to motorboat in her marina!
580
00:29:50,195 --> 00:29:52,489
- Wynonna!
- Everybody loves Waverly!
581
00:29:52,494 --> 00:29:55,058
It's always Waverly, Waverly, Waverly!
582
00:29:55,063 --> 00:29:56,627
Excuse me?
583
00:29:56,632 --> 00:29:59,162
This is a love song,
and I am sending it out
584
00:29:59,167 --> 00:30:02,633
to... the most beautiful
woman in the world.
585
00:30:02,638 --> 00:30:03,934
Zoë Kravitz?
586
00:30:03,939 --> 00:30:05,435
Waverly Earp.
587
00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:07,638
Oh, God.
588
00:30:07,643 --> 00:30:10,974
♪ How do you cool your lips ♪
589
00:30:10,979 --> 00:30:13,043
Hey, hey!
590
00:30:13,048 --> 00:30:16,851
♪ After a summer's kiss ♪
591
00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:20,951
- ♪ How do you... ♪
- Stop it!
592
00:30:20,956 --> 00:30:22,219
Wait!
593
00:30:22,224 --> 00:30:24,354
- I don't know.
- Oh, my God.
594
00:30:24,359 --> 00:30:27,891
♪ After the body bliss ♪
595
00:30:29,564 --> 00:30:32,696
Mam said everyone associated
with the Earps were all evil,
596
00:30:32,701 --> 00:30:35,102
and that all you wanted
was for us to die.
597
00:30:36,405 --> 00:30:39,770
My mama, Alice, taught me if
a worthy person needs help,
598
00:30:39,775 --> 00:30:41,505
you help.
599
00:30:44,579 --> 00:30:46,243
Worthy?
600
00:30:46,248 --> 00:30:49,583
She had big plans. A legacy to fulfill.
601
00:30:50,452 --> 00:30:53,450
And now I'm too stupid and
too alone to fulfill them.
602
00:31:00,929 --> 00:31:02,897
You look at yourself.
603
00:31:03,799 --> 00:31:05,766
I hate my stupid face.
604
00:31:07,102 --> 00:31:08,832
Your eyes are sharp.
605
00:31:08,837 --> 00:31:11,272
That is where the beauty is.
606
00:31:12,207 --> 00:31:13,641
You survived.
607
00:31:14,776 --> 00:31:16,816
And no vindictive old woman's words
608
00:31:16,821 --> 00:31:18,551
can take that away from you.
609
00:31:18,556 --> 00:31:20,920
It's your turn to do whatever you want,
610
00:31:20,925 --> 00:31:22,793
on your terms.
611
00:31:24,186 --> 00:31:26,220
Be your own legacy, Cleo.
612
00:31:33,962 --> 00:31:35,629
Why are you helping me?
613
00:31:37,466 --> 00:31:39,367
It's what I do.
614
00:31:41,737 --> 00:31:43,938
I'm a damn good sidekick.
615
00:31:50,278 --> 00:31:52,613
Insensitive!
616
00:31:53,815 --> 00:31:56,079
- Hey, hey, hey!
- I, too, have a song.
617
00:31:56,084 --> 00:31:58,015
You don't come in on Bunny's territory!
618
00:31:58,020 --> 00:32:00,951
Oh I love you, love you, love you...
619
00:32:02,524 --> 00:32:05,856
Ride my bull!
620
00:32:05,861 --> 00:32:08,759
Guys, you're ruining everything!
621
00:32:13,668 --> 00:32:15,432
Nedley.
622
00:32:20,010 --> 00:32:21,642
You're ruining everything!
623
00:32:25,514 --> 00:32:27,184
- I need your help.
- Waverly?
624
00:32:27,188 --> 00:32:28,498
Turns out I've been passing on
625
00:32:28,502 --> 00:32:30,258
a love disease!
626
00:32:30,262 --> 00:32:32,782
No! Not that kind of love disease!
627
00:32:32,787 --> 00:32:33,887
Baby, do you need help?
628
00:32:33,892 --> 00:32:36,456
This one gives people
insane feelings of adoration
629
00:32:36,461 --> 00:32:38,925
- for the next person they see.
- Waverly, I know you want it.
630
00:32:38,930 --> 00:32:41,625
I need you to come down
to Shorty's. Please!
631
00:32:41,630 --> 00:32:43,864
You're the only one unaffected!
632
00:32:47,235 --> 00:32:50,135
Nobody has ever talked to me like that.
633
00:32:51,139 --> 00:32:52,739
I should be on my way.
634
00:32:52,744 --> 00:32:54,494
It makes me happy that Mam and Nicole's
635
00:32:54,499 --> 00:32:56,830
- covenant for you went bust.
- Nicole?
636
00:32:58,003 --> 00:32:59,370
Yeah.
637
00:33:00,415 --> 00:33:02,746
Mam helped her get Waverly
638
00:33:02,751 --> 00:33:04,548
out of the garden,
639
00:33:04,553 --> 00:33:06,516
in exchange for...
640
00:33:06,521 --> 00:33:08,389
well, you.
641
00:33:12,060 --> 00:33:14,024
I understand.
642
00:33:14,029 --> 00:33:16,097
Unfortunately.
643
00:34:01,543 --> 00:34:03,707
The hummus! I hand squished it myself!
644
00:34:03,712 --> 00:34:05,775
Get your bean hands off of my guitar!
645
00:34:05,780 --> 00:34:07,911
A lady should not have to ask twice.
646
00:34:07,916 --> 00:34:09,813
Randy, you're not helping!
647
00:34:09,818 --> 00:34:12,182
Stay out of this!
648
00:34:12,187 --> 00:34:14,217
Doc! Thank Eros.
649
00:34:14,222 --> 00:34:17,120
- That is so hot!
- Can't we just be friends?
650
00:34:17,125 --> 00:34:19,890
Well, don't just stand
there, distract Wynonna!
651
00:34:19,895 --> 00:34:21,825
I'd rather not.
652
00:34:21,830 --> 00:34:23,330
Damn it, Doc!
653
00:34:23,335 --> 00:34:25,765
Alright, by grabs.
654
00:34:27,305 --> 00:34:31,935
Excuse me, I've got an online
order here for a Waverly Earp?
655
00:34:31,940 --> 00:34:33,603
Demetri! Hi!
656
00:34:33,608 --> 00:34:35,438
- ... karaokier!
- Guys!
657
00:34:35,443 --> 00:34:37,874
- Look what we've done!
- Where's the sparkle jar?
658
00:34:37,879 --> 00:34:39,075
I left it at home.
659
00:34:39,080 --> 00:34:41,745
Ow! Stop it!
660
00:34:41,750 --> 00:34:42,750
You may have...
661
00:34:42,755 --> 00:34:44,218
I'm giving you a golden shower
662
00:34:44,223 --> 00:34:45,315
whether you like it or not!
663
00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:47,751
Wyno... No!
664
00:34:47,756 --> 00:34:49,557
- Ah!
- Whoa!
665
00:35:11,054 --> 00:35:12,484
Can't believe I'm friends
666
00:35:12,489 --> 00:35:15,286
with the greatest gunslinger
that ever lived.
667
00:35:15,291 --> 00:35:16,921
Doc mother-kissing Holliday.
668
00:35:16,926 --> 00:35:19,791
Are you kidding? I cannot
believe I am amigos
669
00:35:19,796 --> 00:35:23,361
with four-time curling
champion Randy Nedley.
670
00:35:23,366 --> 00:35:24,863
I love you.
671
00:35:24,868 --> 00:35:28,466
You hiding a fluffy little
bunny tail in those slacks?
672
00:35:28,471 --> 00:35:29,771
You wanna check?
673
00:35:29,776 --> 00:35:31,076
You know, I suddenly wonder,
674
00:35:31,081 --> 00:35:32,413
if you weren't gonna
be my sister-in-law,
675
00:35:32,417 --> 00:35:35,273
- could we do things?
- Mmm, Nicole.
676
00:35:35,278 --> 00:35:37,976
I love you more than whisky.
677
00:35:37,981 --> 00:35:39,978
But I think you're driving
this bus somewhere
678
00:35:39,983 --> 00:35:41,279
we don't want it to go.
679
00:35:41,284 --> 00:35:43,448
Your spit destroys love?
680
00:35:43,453 --> 00:35:45,984
The universe craves balance.
681
00:35:45,989 --> 00:35:47,952
You could've just told me that!
682
00:35:47,957 --> 00:35:49,921
Should we get naked anyway?
683
00:35:49,926 --> 00:35:53,729
- Just for... science.
- Okie dokie...
684
00:35:54,531 --> 00:35:57,499
Can I cut in? Hmm...
685
00:36:01,871 --> 00:36:03,305
I cannot.
686
00:36:04,541 --> 00:36:06,538
Sorry brother, may I?
687
00:36:20,590 --> 00:36:23,588
I can almost see the love
vibrating off them.
688
00:36:23,593 --> 00:36:25,356
It's fake, pumpkin.
689
00:36:25,361 --> 00:36:28,493
Your insane sister caused
it with a glitter bomb.
690
00:36:28,498 --> 00:36:30,499
You're always so...
691
00:36:32,201 --> 00:36:33,368
... sad.
692
00:36:34,437 --> 00:36:35,767
Wait.
693
00:36:35,772 --> 00:36:38,574
Not just sad.
694
00:36:40,944 --> 00:36:43,011
What was their name?
695
00:36:47,016 --> 00:36:48,613
Amon.
696
00:36:48,618 --> 00:36:49,847
What?
697
00:36:49,852 --> 00:36:51,282
Yeah.
698
00:36:51,287 --> 00:36:54,490
After two years, he changed the locks.
699
00:36:55,725 --> 00:36:58,026
He said I bored him.
700
00:36:59,896 --> 00:37:02,798
Your heartbreak proved that love...
701
00:37:03,900 --> 00:37:05,734
does exist.
702
00:37:06,669 --> 00:37:10,335
And their love for one
another, it's not fake.
703
00:37:10,340 --> 00:37:13,942
It just gets buried day-to-day
704
00:37:14,744 --> 00:37:16,411
under hurt...
705
00:37:17,246 --> 00:37:19,210
and pride.
706
00:37:19,215 --> 00:37:22,080
It doesn't always last forever,
707
00:37:22,085 --> 00:37:24,215
but it's real.
708
00:37:28,257 --> 00:37:29,821
Fine.
709
00:37:29,826 --> 00:37:31,483
I'll take the Cupid power back.
710
00:37:31,488 --> 00:37:34,359
But you have to help
me unmess your mess.
711
00:37:34,364 --> 00:37:35,893
Fine.
712
00:37:35,898 --> 00:37:38,062
Aim for the butts.
713
00:37:38,067 --> 00:37:39,731
Love lives in the butt.
714
00:37:39,736 --> 00:37:41,599
Who's there?
715
00:37:41,604 --> 00:37:43,668
- Rachel?
- Billy?
716
00:37:43,673 --> 00:37:45,240
I want to go home.
717
00:37:58,421 --> 00:38:00,122
I don't want to let go.
718
00:38:12,502 --> 00:38:14,269
Ah.
719
00:38:15,405 --> 00:38:17,268
Well, this is weird.
720
00:38:17,273 --> 00:38:18,302
Understatement.
721
00:38:18,307 --> 00:38:20,305
Ow! Randy!
722
00:38:20,310 --> 00:38:21,639
Oh, nailed it!
723
00:38:21,644 --> 00:38:24,613
Oh, we can never speak of this again.
724
00:38:31,398 --> 00:38:32,898
- Yes!
- We did it!
725
00:38:36,451 --> 00:38:39,453
So, I don't exactly understand
what happened, but...
726
00:38:40,680 --> 00:38:43,520
You still seem to love me, so...
727
00:38:43,525 --> 00:38:45,989
I do.
728
00:38:45,994 --> 00:38:48,859
And I think we settled on
a medium fussy wedding.
729
00:38:48,864 --> 00:38:50,427
Perfect.
730
00:38:53,969 --> 00:38:55,499
Well...
731
00:38:55,504 --> 00:38:58,368
I chose you, Waverly Earp,
732
00:38:58,373 --> 00:39:01,038
because I hadn't seen
anyone this in love.
733
00:39:01,043 --> 00:39:05,208
Not since... forever.
734
00:39:05,213 --> 00:39:08,678
Yeah? Get off my ass, Marty.
735
00:39:08,683 --> 00:39:11,214
Alright? Yeah, their burgers
are coming in a sec.
736
00:39:11,219 --> 00:39:12,983
Yeah, they're still warm!
737
00:39:12,988 --> 00:39:16,253
Whichever one of us kids
became Clanton heir...
738
00:39:16,258 --> 00:39:20,223
you planned for us to turn
you into a Reaper, right?
739
00:39:20,228 --> 00:39:22,375
To join those we'd lost.
740
00:39:22,380 --> 00:39:24,981
And together, we'd avenge our name.
741
00:39:27,002 --> 00:39:29,333
And I will do that, Mam.
742
00:39:30,839 --> 00:39:32,636
I'll destroy them.
743
00:39:32,641 --> 00:39:35,209
All of them, just like you wanted.
744
00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:40,877
But you're never gonna see it.
745
00:39:40,882 --> 00:39:43,076
Did you really think I'd forgive you
746
00:39:43,081 --> 00:39:44,581
for killing Billy?
747
00:39:47,389 --> 00:39:49,186
Dinner, everybody!
748
00:39:49,191 --> 00:39:52,188
Who's ready for some rotten old bitch?
749
00:40:01,112 --> 00:40:02,412
Jesus Christ!
750
00:40:02,417 --> 00:40:03,647
Okay. Hey, Bunny!
751
00:40:03,652 --> 00:40:06,099
Do you need us to give you a ride home?
752
00:40:06,104 --> 00:40:08,435
- What, do you think I'm drunk?
- I am drunk.
753
00:40:08,440 --> 00:40:10,570
I'm as drunk as a bum the
day the cheques come out!
754
00:40:10,575 --> 00:40:11,815
Oh, boy.
755
00:40:11,820 --> 00:40:13,416
You guys are really, really special.
756
00:40:13,421 --> 00:40:15,613
And the love you have
for each other is...
757
00:40:15,618 --> 00:40:17,181
nothing short of inspiring.
758
00:40:17,186 --> 00:40:20,184
Oh. That actually means
a lot that you said that.
759
00:40:20,189 --> 00:40:21,560
Yeah, it'd mean a lot
more if she meant it.
760
00:40:21,564 --> 00:40:23,064
No, no, no. I mean it.
761
00:40:23,069 --> 00:40:25,433
Anyone that doesn't think so...
762
00:40:25,438 --> 00:40:28,507
Just because you share four breasts...
763
00:40:29,723 --> 00:40:31,953
they're a bunch of dumdums.
764
00:40:33,709 --> 00:40:35,739
You sure we can't give you a ride home?
765
00:40:35,744 --> 00:40:38,375
Randy Nedley is going
to give me a ride home.
766
00:40:38,380 --> 00:40:39,781
Oh!
767
00:40:40,699 --> 00:40:42,962
Well, have a nice evening, lesbians.
768
00:40:42,967 --> 00:40:44,764
Uh, Waverly's bisexual.
769
00:40:44,769 --> 00:40:47,271
Yeah, well, just say horny.
770
00:40:50,119 --> 00:40:52,449
And she's back.
771
00:40:53,789 --> 00:40:56,724
Surely there are other
bars for you to drink in.
772
00:40:59,528 --> 00:41:01,692
I came for the entertainment.
773
00:41:05,234 --> 00:41:07,531
Now there's the Earp sister I like.
774
00:41:07,536 --> 00:41:10,605
Hazardous, hot, half-in-the-bag.
775
00:41:14,009 --> 00:41:16,140
I wasn't sure if you'd be alone.
776
00:41:16,145 --> 00:41:18,376
Demetri?
777
00:41:18,381 --> 00:41:21,345
He left after I let him
yell some nonsense
778
00:41:21,350 --> 00:41:24,352
about how I have no soul.
779
00:41:25,602 --> 00:41:27,469
Hmm.
780
00:41:29,024 --> 00:41:30,525
Been there.
781
00:41:32,226 --> 00:41:33,826
Hated it.
782
00:41:35,729 --> 00:41:39,165
I was mostly bored.
I guess I am a monster.
783
00:41:42,004 --> 00:41:43,771
Who gives a fuck?
784
00:41:45,984 --> 00:41:47,681
I thought you wanted to kill me.
785
00:41:47,686 --> 00:41:50,184
All I want is...
786
00:41:50,189 --> 00:41:53,858
to stop feeling guilty for what I am.
787
00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:58,030
When what I am...
788
00:41:58,035 --> 00:42:00,070
is necessary.
789
00:42:01,078 --> 00:42:02,578
You're a...
790
00:42:03,614 --> 00:42:05,715
You're a confusing woman.
791
00:42:08,731 --> 00:42:10,465
Flexible, too.
792
00:42:16,656 --> 00:42:17,919
Are you gonna tell me
793
00:42:17,924 --> 00:42:20,259
you're in love with my sister now?
794
00:42:23,320 --> 00:42:25,121
- No, ma'am.
- Good.
795
00:42:27,258 --> 00:42:29,522
Now show me how you ride that bull.
796
00:42:44,072 --> 00:42:45,672
Billy?
797
00:42:48,012 --> 00:42:51,247
Welcome home, little brother.
798
00:42:53,031 --> 00:42:55,831
It's time we took back what's ours.
53897
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