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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:03,078 -- Subs by kinglouisxx -- for www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:05,304 --> 00:00:07,272 Happy belated birthday! 3 00:00:07,306 --> 00:00:09,062 My birthday was like a month ago. 4 00:00:09,116 --> 00:00:12,414 Well, it took me this long to find you the perfect present. 5 00:00:13,308 --> 00:00:14,643 Holy crap. 6 00:00:14,668 --> 00:00:17,150 Is that one of those giant coffee table books? 7 00:00:17,182 --> 00:00:18,783 Yep. 8 00:00:18,817 --> 00:00:20,353 It's one of those gifts that looks impressive 9 00:00:20,385 --> 00:00:22,187 but is actually really cheap, right? 10 00:00:22,220 --> 00:00:24,724 Well, that's what made it so perfect. 11 00:00:24,757 --> 00:00:27,894 I got it for 25 cents at a yard sale. 12 00:00:27,926 --> 00:00:30,595 This old lady with arthritis couldn't even lift it anymore, 13 00:00:30,629 --> 00:00:34,199 so she dragged it in by a wagon to show it to me. 14 00:00:38,703 --> 00:00:41,541 Wow, a book about famous castles. 15 00:00:41,574 --> 00:00:43,964 How did you know about my love for giant stone houses? 16 00:00:45,944 --> 00:00:48,547 This is the same book Meghan Markle looks at 17 00:00:48,580 --> 00:00:50,449 when she's filled with regret. 18 00:00:51,983 --> 00:00:55,587 So, you never told me... what did Josh give you? 19 00:00:56,721 --> 00:00:59,492 You're the first woman in the family to date a rich guy. 20 00:00:59,525 --> 00:01:01,961 I once got an expensive silk scarf, 21 00:01:01,994 --> 00:01:04,163 but the guy's wife came and took it back. 22 00:01:05,531 --> 00:01:07,333 Oh, well, uh, Josh was supposed to take me 23 00:01:07,365 --> 00:01:09,401 to his family's vacation house in South Haven, 24 00:01:09,434 --> 00:01:12,404 but, uh, I haven't really heard from him in a while. 25 00:01:12,437 --> 00:01:13,939 How long's a while? 26 00:01:13,972 --> 00:01:15,707 I don't know, like a-a couple of weeks. 27 00:01:15,740 --> 00:01:17,576 A couple of weeks? 28 00:01:17,609 --> 00:01:19,644 You guys were all over each other 24/7. 29 00:01:19,677 --> 00:01:21,446 I know. 30 00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:22,681 Just please don't tell Mom about it. 31 00:01:22,714 --> 00:01:24,916 She'll blow this way out of proportion. 32 00:01:24,949 --> 00:01:27,919 He's probably just protesting somewhere with no cell service. 33 00:01:27,952 --> 00:01:30,455 I'm sure he'll get me something great when he gets back. 34 00:01:30,489 --> 00:01:32,924 Harris, sweet Harris. 35 00:01:32,957 --> 00:01:35,293 We're all raised to believe in the fairy tale. 36 00:01:35,326 --> 00:01:36,695 You know the one. 37 00:01:36,728 --> 00:01:38,563 It's 3:00 in the morning at some dive bar 38 00:01:38,597 --> 00:01:39,931 and you see him 39 00:01:39,964 --> 00:01:42,635 scratching his head with a fork in the cutest way. 40 00:01:44,002 --> 00:01:45,737 He puts out a cigarette in his leftover nachos 41 00:01:45,770 --> 00:01:48,540 and approaches you, and you think 42 00:01:48,573 --> 00:01:51,611 "This is the start of something beautiful," 43 00:01:51,644 --> 00:01:53,779 so you spend the night with him. 44 00:01:53,811 --> 00:01:56,815 But you wake up the next morning and he's gone. 45 00:01:56,849 --> 00:01:58,451 And so is your toaster oven. 46 00:02:00,585 --> 00:02:04,656 And you sit there eating your soft, dry bread, thinking, 47 00:02:04,689 --> 00:02:07,760 "Damn, he got the coffee maker, too." 48 00:02:11,663 --> 00:02:12,697 Why don't you look at the castles 49 00:02:12,731 --> 00:02:14,466 and pretend you're a princess? 50 00:02:16,869 --> 00:02:19,639 I don't understand why we can't have waffles. 51 00:02:19,672 --> 00:02:21,474 Grandpa has syrup right there. 52 00:02:21,506 --> 00:02:24,776 Uh, that is pure maple syrup that I bought for your grandpa. 53 00:02:24,810 --> 00:02:26,054 That stuff is like gold. 54 00:02:26,079 --> 00:02:28,647 We're not gonna waste it on your unevolved palates. 55 00:02:29,815 --> 00:02:32,317 We'll get you a jug of the cheap stuff 56 00:02:32,351 --> 00:02:34,586 whenever we get a coupon for it. 57 00:02:34,619 --> 00:02:38,023 I'll add that to my list for Child Protective Services. 58 00:02:38,056 --> 00:02:39,993 I've had previous grievances. 59 00:02:42,026 --> 00:02:43,127 Oh, wow. 60 00:02:43,161 --> 00:02:46,498 Here's a picture of a woman who's over 100 years old. 61 00:02:46,531 --> 00:02:48,701 In 1918, she had the Spanish flu, 62 00:02:48,733 --> 00:02:50,669 and in 2020, she beat Covid. 63 00:02:50,703 --> 00:02:52,338 Twice. 64 00:02:52,370 --> 00:02:54,072 Man, I wish I had her genes. 65 00:02:54,106 --> 00:02:56,341 But not her luck. 66 00:02:56,375 --> 00:02:57,677 What do you got for me? 67 00:02:57,709 --> 00:03:00,445 Um, a woman made her family move into the garage 68 00:03:00,478 --> 00:03:01,746 because she didn't want to get Covid, 69 00:03:01,780 --> 00:03:03,849 so she got a cat for company. 70 00:03:03,881 --> 00:03:05,817 And then she tripped over the cat on the stairs 71 00:03:05,851 --> 00:03:06,886 and broke her neck. 72 00:03:07,853 --> 00:03:09,588 As soon as we knock out this Covid thing, 73 00:03:09,620 --> 00:03:11,724 we gotta go after cats. 74 00:03:11,756 --> 00:03:14,993 Can we just enjoy sitting down to one meal 75 00:03:15,026 --> 00:03:16,862 without talking about Covid? 76 00:03:16,894 --> 00:03:18,596 There's plenty of other tragic events 77 00:03:18,630 --> 00:03:20,699 for you two to find hilarious. 78 00:03:20,732 --> 00:03:23,001 Homicides are up everywhere. 79 00:03:23,035 --> 00:03:24,870 Enjoy. 80 00:03:24,903 --> 00:03:26,605 Well, this is how we deal with this stuff. 81 00:03:26,637 --> 00:03:29,574 You can either laugh or cry, and we choose to laugh about it. 82 00:03:29,607 --> 00:03:31,076 Oh, by the way, Mom, I don't have 83 00:03:31,109 --> 00:03:32,877 basketball practice tomorrow. 84 00:03:32,911 --> 00:03:34,613 They said there's a leak in the gym roof 85 00:03:34,645 --> 00:03:35,847 and the floor isn't safe. 86 00:03:35,881 --> 00:03:37,550 Oh, nope, that's a lie. 87 00:03:37,583 --> 00:03:38,851 The parents got an e-mail saying 88 00:03:38,883 --> 00:03:40,820 that your coach just tested positive. 89 00:03:42,588 --> 00:03:44,123 C-Coach Kazmerick? 90 00:03:44,155 --> 00:03:45,657 Is he okay? 91 00:03:45,691 --> 00:03:47,727 Yeah, he'll probably be fine. 92 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:49,794 The good news is if enough kids have to quarantine, 93 00:03:49,828 --> 00:03:51,597 you might actually get a chance to play. 94 00:03:55,967 --> 00:03:57,570 Do you think there's a reason 95 00:03:57,602 --> 00:04:00,071 they didn't tell the kids about the coach? 96 00:04:00,105 --> 00:04:02,475 Oh, he would've heard it from his friends anyway. 97 00:04:02,507 --> 00:04:04,709 I think it's a mistake constantly hammering him 98 00:04:04,743 --> 00:04:07,079 with all this Covid stuff. 99 00:04:07,112 --> 00:04:09,749 He's gonna develop an obsession with it. 100 00:04:09,781 --> 00:04:12,717 I-I just got him talking about it, which is healthy. 101 00:04:12,750 --> 00:04:14,052 I started having panic attacks 102 00:04:14,085 --> 00:04:16,121 because I wasn't talking about my anxieties. 103 00:04:16,154 --> 00:04:18,524 Yeah, fair enough, but m-maybe you could try 104 00:04:18,557 --> 00:04:20,659 mixing some good news in with it. 105 00:04:20,692 --> 00:04:22,428 Uh, I-I mean, I read this morning 106 00:04:22,461 --> 00:04:24,630 more and more people are surviving the virus. 107 00:04:24,663 --> 00:04:27,433 Well, Mark's a smart kid. He knows it goes beyond that. 108 00:04:27,466 --> 00:04:29,735 He knows some of them wind up with heart problems, 109 00:04:29,767 --> 00:04:32,070 lung problems, memory problems. 110 00:04:32,103 --> 00:04:33,938 See, there's your good news. 111 00:04:33,971 --> 00:04:35,942 Those people won't remember what it was like to be healthy. 112 00:04:38,644 --> 00:04:42,790 3x12 - A Stomach Ache, A Heartbreak And A Grave Mistake 113 00:05:15,947 --> 00:05:19,551 That was so sweet for you to get this for Beverly Rose, Dad, 114 00:05:19,584 --> 00:05:21,954 but don't you think the way her legs wrap around the seat 115 00:05:21,986 --> 00:05:24,088 will make her bowlegged? 116 00:05:24,122 --> 00:05:26,725 Well, if it does, it'll make it much easier 117 00:05:26,757 --> 00:05:28,233 for her to ride a horse. 118 00:05:29,527 --> 00:05:31,830 Don't repeat this to your sister. 119 00:05:31,863 --> 00:05:33,899 I'm listening. 120 00:05:33,932 --> 00:05:36,669 - Dad, I need to talk to you about Josh... - Ehh. 121 00:05:36,694 --> 00:05:38,821 ...that rich kid that Harris is in love with. 122 00:05:38,846 --> 00:05:39,872 Oh, I like him. 123 00:05:39,904 --> 00:05:41,139 He gives me cash to leave the room 124 00:05:41,173 --> 00:05:43,175 so they can make out. 125 00:05:43,207 --> 00:05:45,678 Invest that wisely. That's your college fund. 126 00:05:45,711 --> 00:05:47,980 So, Harris thinks he's out of town, 127 00:05:48,012 --> 00:05:49,981 but I saw him at his parents' house 128 00:05:50,014 --> 00:05:52,017 watching "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" 129 00:05:52,050 --> 00:05:54,820 on the biggest projection TV I have ever seen. 130 00:05:54,853 --> 00:05:56,522 I mean, the picture was so clear, 131 00:05:56,555 --> 00:05:59,191 it was like I was in the parade. 132 00:05:59,224 --> 00:06:02,194 You were spying on this guy and you stayed to watch the movie? 133 00:06:02,226 --> 00:06:03,895 I already had a comfortable position in the tree, 134 00:06:03,928 --> 00:06:06,599 and that movie really holds up. 135 00:06:06,632 --> 00:06:07,933 Should I tell Harris? 136 00:06:07,966 --> 00:06:10,102 Nehh. Tell Darlene. It's her kid. 137 00:06:10,135 --> 00:06:12,704 I'm Harris' brother. Can I please tell her? 138 00:06:12,738 --> 00:06:15,173 No. There's $5 in my purse. 139 00:06:15,207 --> 00:06:16,742 You can have it if you leave now. 140 00:06:16,774 --> 00:06:17,942 You don't have a purse. 141 00:06:17,976 --> 00:06:19,879 I don't have $5, either. Get out. 142 00:06:22,147 --> 00:06:24,183 I don't know what to do. 143 00:06:24,216 --> 00:06:26,819 Darlene warned Harris about Josh, 144 00:06:26,851 --> 00:06:29,589 but she doesn't want the "I told you so." 145 00:06:30,456 --> 00:06:34,093 I can't just sit back and watch Harris be blindsided like this. 146 00:06:34,125 --> 00:06:35,827 I know how much that hurts. 147 00:06:35,861 --> 00:06:37,962 Hey, Grandpa, you might want to check on Mary. 148 00:06:37,995 --> 00:06:39,130 She doesn't know how to work the remote 149 00:06:39,163 --> 00:06:40,699 and she just ordered "Mulan" four times. 150 00:06:40,731 --> 00:06:42,667 Aah! That's 120 bucks! 151 00:06:45,803 --> 00:06:48,139 I'm so glad you came in here. 152 00:06:48,173 --> 00:06:49,642 There's something I need to show you. 153 00:06:51,709 --> 00:06:53,912 I took this yesterday. 154 00:06:53,945 --> 00:06:56,748 Josh has been at his parents' house the whole time. 155 00:06:56,781 --> 00:06:59,084 That piece of crap. 156 00:06:59,116 --> 00:07:01,586 He said he loved me. Things were going great with us. 157 00:07:01,620 --> 00:07:03,756 I'm really sorry. 158 00:07:03,788 --> 00:07:05,724 He owes you an explanation. 159 00:07:05,757 --> 00:07:07,259 Why? 160 00:07:07,291 --> 00:07:09,561 It's over. There's nothing I can do. 161 00:07:09,594 --> 00:07:11,329 Yes, there is. 162 00:07:11,363 --> 00:07:13,899 Nobody has the right to disrespect you like that. 163 00:07:13,932 --> 00:07:15,234 You deserve some closure. 164 00:07:16,134 --> 00:07:18,637 You let one guy get away with treating you badly, 165 00:07:18,670 --> 00:07:21,240 it's easier to let the next guy do it to you, too. 166 00:07:21,272 --> 00:07:25,043 Just don't want to be some creepy ex-girlfriend stalker. 167 00:07:25,077 --> 00:07:26,646 I don't know why that's gotten such a bad rap. 168 00:07:28,647 --> 00:07:30,014 You need to go over there 169 00:07:30,048 --> 00:07:32,918 and show him you will not be ignored. 170 00:07:32,950 --> 00:07:35,053 Maybe you boil his rabbit. 171 00:07:35,086 --> 00:07:36,087 What the hell are you talking about? 172 00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:38,257 Boil his rabbit? That's horrible. 173 00:07:38,289 --> 00:07:40,325 Oh, you never saw that movie. 174 00:07:40,358 --> 00:07:43,027 It's about this perfectly reasonable woman 175 00:07:43,060 --> 00:07:44,195 who gets the short end of the stick. 176 00:07:44,228 --> 00:07:45,897 We'll watch it later. 177 00:07:45,930 --> 00:07:48,601 Oh, God. I can't believe this. 178 00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:49,901 What's wrong? 179 00:07:49,935 --> 00:07:52,171 I don't want your father to hear. 180 00:07:52,204 --> 00:07:54,639 I went to visit Roseanne's grave 181 00:07:54,673 --> 00:07:56,375 because it'd been almost two years. 182 00:07:56,408 --> 00:07:57,810 Why are you freaking out? 183 00:07:57,843 --> 00:07:59,044 Wait, was she not there? 184 00:07:59,077 --> 00:08:00,178 No, she's there. 185 00:08:00,211 --> 00:08:01,647 But now there's a tombstone 186 00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:04,149 right next to hers that says, 187 00:08:04,182 --> 00:08:06,814 "I can't believe they stuck me next to this bitch." 188 00:08:07,885 --> 00:08:09,887 That is horrible. Who is it? 189 00:08:09,913 --> 00:08:11,881 You remember the Remschlatters? 190 00:08:11,923 --> 00:08:13,158 You have to be more specific. 191 00:08:13,190 --> 00:08:14,792 There's a lot of Remschlatters out there. 192 00:08:14,825 --> 00:08:16,294 Paul Remschlatter. 193 00:08:16,327 --> 00:08:18,663 The guy down the street who used to put his trash 194 00:08:18,697 --> 00:08:20,766 in our cans when his were full. 195 00:08:20,798 --> 00:08:22,700 Oh, I remember that. 196 00:08:22,733 --> 00:08:26,171 And then Mom took the trash cans and dumped them out on his lawn. 197 00:08:26,204 --> 00:08:28,007 You know, after we picked out all his recyclables. 198 00:08:28,039 --> 00:08:29,707 Yeah, so that went on for years, 199 00:08:29,740 --> 00:08:31,844 and now he's trying to have the last laugh. 200 00:08:31,877 --> 00:08:33,878 - Not on my watch. - What are you gonna do? 201 00:08:33,911 --> 00:08:35,714 I don't know, but I have to defend my sister 202 00:08:35,747 --> 00:08:37,082 because she can't. 203 00:08:37,114 --> 00:08:39,417 And she always defended me. 204 00:08:39,450 --> 00:08:41,686 Was that after I left the house? 205 00:08:41,719 --> 00:08:44,757 Because all I remember is her relentlessly mocking you. 206 00:08:44,790 --> 00:08:46,158 Tomato, potato! 207 00:08:46,190 --> 00:08:48,259 She was a wonderful person! 208 00:08:50,896 --> 00:08:53,899 Mulan is so brave. 209 00:08:53,931 --> 00:08:56,868 She took her father's place in the war to protect him. 210 00:08:56,901 --> 00:08:58,237 That's a good daughter. 211 00:08:59,970 --> 00:09:01,706 Hey, when you drop your phone, 212 00:09:01,739 --> 00:09:03,942 I pick it up so you don't have to bend over. 213 00:09:04,975 --> 00:09:06,711 Yeah, okay. 214 00:09:06,744 --> 00:09:08,780 Do you think my arm looks swollen? 215 00:09:08,814 --> 00:09:10,349 It's a lot bigger than the other one, right? 216 00:09:11,749 --> 00:09:13,251 They both look exactly the same. 217 00:09:13,285 --> 00:09:14,520 What's going on? 218 00:09:14,552 --> 00:09:17,722 Well, Mom sent me this article that said some Covid patients 219 00:09:17,756 --> 00:09:19,757 experience inflammation in their veins 220 00:09:19,791 --> 00:09:21,926 when they first get it and it makes their arms swell up. 221 00:09:21,959 --> 00:09:24,363 Well, it doesn't look swollen, but is it sore? 222 00:09:24,396 --> 00:09:25,731 I don't know. Maybe. 223 00:09:25,763 --> 00:09:28,066 This is exactly what I'm talking about. 224 00:09:28,091 --> 00:09:30,368 Why are you sending articles like that to him? 225 00:09:30,401 --> 00:09:32,036 No, it's okay. I asked her. 226 00:09:32,070 --> 00:09:33,372 No, it's not okay. 227 00:09:33,405 --> 00:09:35,140 I'm just gonna go upstairs and rent this again 228 00:09:35,172 --> 00:09:37,408 on my computer where I can hear it. 229 00:09:39,310 --> 00:09:41,379 Mark, go outside and shoot some hoops, buddy. 230 00:09:41,412 --> 00:09:42,947 I need to talk to your mom. 231 00:09:44,416 --> 00:09:48,152 No, I don't need to talk to you. I know what I'm doing. 232 00:09:48,185 --> 00:09:50,089 I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna let that kid 233 00:09:50,122 --> 00:09:52,190 think he's got Covid. 234 00:09:52,224 --> 00:09:54,926 The only reason he thinks he's got vein inflammation 235 00:09:54,959 --> 00:09:57,095 is because you keep pushing this crap on him. 236 00:09:57,128 --> 00:09:59,130 No, I'm not pushing anything on him. 237 00:09:59,164 --> 00:10:01,834 He asked me about it, and I'm not gonna lie to him. 238 00:10:01,867 --> 00:10:05,304 That's a parent's job. You have to lie to them. 239 00:10:05,337 --> 00:10:08,173 Kids can't handle everything that goes on in the world. 240 00:10:08,205 --> 00:10:09,140 That's just common sense, right? 241 00:10:09,174 --> 00:10:11,977 Sure, kids are fragile. That's common sense. 242 00:10:12,009 --> 00:10:15,213 No. The entire world is on their phones now. 243 00:10:15,247 --> 00:10:17,116 You can't hide the truth from them anymore. 244 00:10:17,148 --> 00:10:18,873 And if you do, they're just not gonna trust you. 245 00:10:18,898 --> 00:10:19,951 Oh, yeah, no. 246 00:10:19,984 --> 00:10:21,820 If you don't have trust, you got nothing. 247 00:10:21,853 --> 00:10:23,822 It's not so much a matter of trust 248 00:10:23,854 --> 00:10:26,524 as it is making the kid feel safe and secure. 249 00:10:26,557 --> 00:10:29,393 Remember when D.J. had strep throat? 250 00:10:29,426 --> 00:10:31,997 We calmed him down by telling him he was gonna live forever. 251 00:10:32,030 --> 00:10:35,367 You can't go by him. You can't cure stupid. 252 00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:38,937 I'm having really bad pains in my stomach. 253 00:10:38,969 --> 00:10:40,104 Where does it hurt? 254 00:10:40,137 --> 00:10:42,141 Upper stomach? Lower stomach? 255 00:10:42,174 --> 00:10:43,308 Did you go to the bathroom today? 256 00:10:43,340 --> 00:10:46,210 Yes. It really hurts. Is it Covid? 257 00:10:46,243 --> 00:10:47,278 You know what? We're gonna go to urgent care. 258 00:10:47,311 --> 00:10:48,312 Yeah, that's what I'd do. 259 00:10:48,345 --> 00:10:49,914 It's a stomach ache. 260 00:10:49,948 --> 00:10:52,084 Let him lay down and see if he's better in a half an hour. 261 00:10:52,117 --> 00:10:53,886 You're right. We might be overreacting. 262 00:10:53,919 --> 00:10:55,988 No, we're going. Are you coming, Jackie? 263 00:10:56,021 --> 00:10:57,488 Well, maybe I should. 264 00:10:57,522 --> 00:10:59,471 Unless Dan wants me to stay here for supper. 265 00:10:59,496 --> 00:11:01,392 - You should go, Jackie. - Okay. 266 00:11:09,009 --> 00:11:10,344 Ms. Harris? 267 00:11:10,399 --> 00:11:12,034 - Yeah. - Don Blansky. 268 00:11:12,076 --> 00:11:14,056 I'm the director of the Forest Hills cemetery. 269 00:11:14,111 --> 00:11:15,947 Oh, hi. Thank you so much for coming. 270 00:11:15,980 --> 00:11:17,694 - Call me Jackie. - Oh. 271 00:11:17,719 --> 00:11:19,618 And I'm sorry I had to push our appointment. 272 00:11:19,643 --> 00:11:22,251 I had to take my grand-nephew to urgent care. 273 00:11:22,276 --> 00:11:24,445 Oh, anything serious, or...? 274 00:11:24,485 --> 00:11:25,653 Oh, no, no. Don't get excited. 275 00:11:25,687 --> 00:11:27,990 He's fine. 276 00:11:28,023 --> 00:11:30,826 But I made you some pie to nosh on while we talk. 277 00:11:30,859 --> 00:11:33,762 So, I imagine you're probably wondering 278 00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:35,563 why I invited you here. 279 00:11:35,596 --> 00:11:36,965 Uh, well, no. Not really. 280 00:11:36,998 --> 00:11:38,834 I mean, getting wined and dined 281 00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:40,802 is all part of the job these days. 282 00:11:40,836 --> 00:11:42,805 - Ah, I didn't know that. - Oh, yeah. 283 00:11:42,837 --> 00:11:44,706 Everyone's trying to get a good spot. 284 00:11:44,739 --> 00:11:46,475 It's not like high school. 285 00:11:46,508 --> 00:11:49,177 Everybody wants to be Don Blansky's friend now. 286 00:11:49,211 --> 00:11:50,946 Ooh. 287 00:11:50,979 --> 00:11:53,182 Well, I'm glad you're doing well, 288 00:11:53,215 --> 00:11:55,951 even if it is for all the wrong, ghoulish reasons. 289 00:11:55,984 --> 00:11:58,120 Mm. I don't wish anyone ill. 290 00:11:58,153 --> 00:12:01,123 But when a jock who bullied me dies, 291 00:12:01,155 --> 00:12:05,059 you know, a nerd gets a Porsche, you feel me? 292 00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:07,829 I'm trying not to. But, uh... 293 00:12:07,862 --> 00:12:10,231 No, I-I actually don't need a spot. 294 00:12:10,264 --> 00:12:13,129 I just need a small, itty-bitty, little favor. 295 00:12:14,060 --> 00:12:17,172 I would like you to dig up Paul Remschlatter 296 00:12:17,205 --> 00:12:18,907 and move him. 297 00:12:18,940 --> 00:12:20,576 We don't really dig people up, you know. 298 00:12:20,609 --> 00:12:23,177 Unless the authorities figure out something like, uh, 299 00:12:23,211 --> 00:12:25,681 you know, his wife cashed a big life-insurance check, 300 00:12:25,713 --> 00:12:27,715 so maybe he didn't shoot himself in the back of the head. 301 00:12:27,749 --> 00:12:29,750 - That kind of thing. - Mm, well, yeah. 302 00:12:29,783 --> 00:12:31,620 That's not my situation. 303 00:12:31,653 --> 00:12:33,221 Well, what's the issue with Remschlatter? 304 00:12:33,254 --> 00:12:36,057 Uh, the issue is that his headstone 305 00:12:36,091 --> 00:12:39,027 is insulting my sister who's buried right next to him. 306 00:12:39,059 --> 00:12:41,229 Oh! The... The "bitch" one, right? 307 00:12:41,263 --> 00:12:42,764 - Yeah. - Yeah. 308 00:12:42,797 --> 00:12:44,766 Yeah, why would you allow that? 309 00:12:44,798 --> 00:12:47,269 Well, it was the deceased's last request, 310 00:12:47,302 --> 00:12:49,204 and it's... it's kind of funny. 311 00:12:49,236 --> 00:12:52,540 People think we have no sense of humor, but we do. 312 00:12:52,573 --> 00:12:54,509 We're just people. 313 00:12:54,543 --> 00:12:57,178 Okay, look, I... 314 00:12:57,211 --> 00:12:58,713 Here's what it is. 315 00:12:58,746 --> 00:13:01,782 I never thought that I would outlive my older sister. 316 00:13:01,816 --> 00:13:03,051 I was a cop. 317 00:13:03,083 --> 00:13:05,653 I was a trucker who fell asleep a lot. 318 00:13:05,687 --> 00:13:08,557 But I'm still going, and she's not, 319 00:13:08,590 --> 00:13:12,261 and so the least I can do is to take care of her memory. 320 00:13:12,293 --> 00:13:13,794 Okay, look. 321 00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:15,129 I'm sorry about your sister, 322 00:13:15,163 --> 00:13:16,798 but, you know, there's nothing I can do. 323 00:13:16,831 --> 00:13:18,634 We... We signed a contract. 324 00:13:18,667 --> 00:13:20,202 Well, what's Remschlatter gonna do? 325 00:13:20,235 --> 00:13:21,970 Take you to court? He's dead! 326 00:13:22,003 --> 00:13:23,639 Well, everyone I work with is dead. 327 00:13:23,672 --> 00:13:25,139 That's not an arguing point. 328 00:13:25,173 --> 00:13:27,241 Look, most people will think it's the woman 329 00:13:27,274 --> 00:13:29,144 on the other side of him, okay? 330 00:13:29,177 --> 00:13:32,147 I'm sure everyone knows your sister was a nice person. 331 00:13:32,179 --> 00:13:34,649 Well, that's where you're wrong, my friend. 332 00:13:34,682 --> 00:13:36,117 Good day to you. 333 00:13:39,955 --> 00:13:41,623 Josh! It's Harris! 334 00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:42,924 I know you're in there! Come out! 335 00:13:42,957 --> 00:13:44,692 What are you doing? 336 00:13:44,726 --> 00:13:46,827 Pizza Express! 337 00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:49,298 Guys hate confrontation, but they love pizza. 338 00:13:50,599 --> 00:13:51,767 Josh! 339 00:13:51,799 --> 00:13:53,134 I just want to talk! 340 00:13:54,936 --> 00:13:56,805 He's never gonna come out. 341 00:13:56,837 --> 00:13:58,072 I feel so stupid. Let's just go. 342 00:13:58,105 --> 00:13:59,942 Oh, I got a way to get him out. 343 00:14:06,380 --> 00:14:08,850 Geez! First the rabbit, now a bat? 344 00:14:08,883 --> 00:14:12,220 God, you're a psycho. This is why you're single. 345 00:14:12,253 --> 00:14:15,123 Calm down. We're gonna destroy his mailbox. 346 00:14:15,155 --> 00:14:16,324 Once he sees that, he'll come out. 347 00:14:23,365 --> 00:14:25,267 Whoa! 348 00:14:25,299 --> 00:14:27,368 That stung a little. 349 00:14:27,402 --> 00:14:30,706 If this was a cartoon, I'd be vibrating right now. 350 00:14:30,739 --> 00:14:32,941 You have lost some rage since you had that baby. 351 00:14:32,974 --> 00:14:34,743 Let me take a shot. 352 00:14:36,144 --> 00:14:38,113 I felt that one in my teeth. 353 00:14:40,148 --> 00:14:42,151 Okay. 354 00:14:47,087 --> 00:14:49,757 He may be too wealthy to vandalize. 355 00:14:51,091 --> 00:14:54,062 Their mail must be much more important than ours. 356 00:14:56,030 --> 00:14:58,399 God, it's taking a long time for the doctor 357 00:14:58,432 --> 00:14:59,967 to give us Mark's test results. 358 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,836 I'm sure he's fine, sweetie. 359 00:15:01,870 --> 00:15:04,206 The doctor is probably just ripping somebody else off 360 00:15:04,239 --> 00:15:06,742 for a $300, two-minute video chat. 361 00:15:06,774 --> 00:15:08,409 Hey, Doc! 362 00:15:08,442 --> 00:15:11,646 Thank you for your service during these difficult times. 363 00:15:11,679 --> 00:15:13,214 Is Mark okay? 364 00:15:13,248 --> 00:15:15,350 Yes, he's tested negative for Covid-19. 365 00:15:15,383 --> 00:15:16,351 Really? 366 00:15:16,384 --> 00:15:17,485 Are you sure? 367 00:15:17,519 --> 00:15:21,423 I mean, he did have that imaginary swollen arm and all. 368 00:15:21,456 --> 00:15:23,792 Well, we also ran some tests for IBS and colitis 369 00:15:23,825 --> 00:15:25,093 because of the recurring stomach aches, 370 00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:26,661 but we were able to rule that out, as well. 371 00:15:26,695 --> 00:15:28,030 Recurring? 372 00:15:28,062 --> 00:15:30,432 Mark didn't have any stomach problems until now. 373 00:15:30,465 --> 00:15:32,300 So, he didn't tell you he's been having them for weeks? 374 00:15:32,332 --> 00:15:34,068 No. 375 00:15:34,101 --> 00:15:35,870 I'm seeing a lot of kids with stomach issues 376 00:15:35,903 --> 00:15:37,972 from chronic stress in this pandemic. 377 00:15:38,005 --> 00:15:39,807 It's been a year of these kids being bombarded 378 00:15:39,841 --> 00:15:40,875 by information every day. 379 00:15:40,908 --> 00:15:42,210 It's... It's too much. 380 00:15:42,243 --> 00:15:43,344 No, that can't be the problem. 381 00:15:43,378 --> 00:15:46,248 Mark's the kind of kid who likes to hear the information. 382 00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:48,816 Well, you know your kid. 383 00:15:48,850 --> 00:15:51,219 But I'd talk to him and see what's going on. 384 00:15:51,251 --> 00:15:53,387 I'm gonna put my nurse on to tell you about 385 00:15:53,421 --> 00:15:55,224 some over-the-counter medications that might help. 386 00:15:56,857 --> 00:15:58,259 This doesn't make sense. 387 00:15:58,293 --> 00:15:59,727 I didn't make my kid sick. 388 00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:01,228 No, you didn't. 389 00:16:01,261 --> 00:16:03,330 You gave him a crippling anxiety disorder. 390 00:16:03,364 --> 00:16:05,434 You didn't know what he was gonna do with it. 391 00:16:08,845 --> 00:16:10,562 Aah! 392 00:16:11,156 --> 00:16:13,170 Holy crap! 393 00:16:13,195 --> 00:16:16,132 This mailbox is built better than our house. 394 00:16:16,181 --> 00:16:18,749 Next tornado, I'm putting Beverly Rose in this thing. 395 00:16:19,949 --> 00:16:21,864 Hey, what are you doing? 396 00:16:21,919 --> 00:16:23,454 My parents are gonna call the cops. 397 00:16:23,487 --> 00:16:25,457 Rich people. Okay, Karen. 398 00:16:28,592 --> 00:16:30,194 Why the hell have you been ghosting me? 399 00:16:30,227 --> 00:16:32,731 Because I thought talking would be awkward. 400 00:16:32,764 --> 00:16:35,467 You seemed really into me, and I just didn't feel the same way. 401 00:16:35,500 --> 00:16:37,001 Plus, I mean, I was your first love. 402 00:16:37,034 --> 00:16:37,935 I didn't want to hurt you. 403 00:16:37,970 --> 00:16:40,872 So you just pretend that I don't exist? 404 00:16:40,905 --> 00:16:43,186 You were only trying to protect your own feelings 405 00:16:43,211 --> 00:16:44,943 because you're not man enough to actually face me 406 00:16:44,976 --> 00:16:46,477 and say goodbye. 407 00:16:46,510 --> 00:16:49,146 Did you think that I was so in love with you 408 00:16:49,179 --> 00:16:50,848 that you would crush me? 409 00:16:50,881 --> 00:16:53,852 You are not that smart, you are not funny, 410 00:16:53,885 --> 00:16:55,554 and you have to go to protests 411 00:16:55,587 --> 00:16:57,222 to make yourself look interesting. 412 00:16:57,255 --> 00:16:58,990 You may have great hair, 413 00:16:59,023 --> 00:17:01,427 but the rest of you is extremely average. 414 00:17:02,693 --> 00:17:04,162 So, are we good? 415 00:17:04,194 --> 00:17:05,797 I am. 416 00:17:05,829 --> 00:17:06,898 You suck. 417 00:17:14,838 --> 00:17:16,640 I'm proud of you. 418 00:17:16,674 --> 00:17:18,143 There are so many times 419 00:17:18,175 --> 00:17:19,711 I should've done that, and I didn't. 420 00:17:19,743 --> 00:17:21,178 Thanks. 421 00:17:21,212 --> 00:17:22,513 Feel better? 422 00:17:22,547 --> 00:17:24,516 Yeah, but no. 423 00:17:24,549 --> 00:17:27,219 I mean, I know I deserve way better than that jerk, but... 424 00:17:27,251 --> 00:17:29,520 doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. 425 00:17:29,553 --> 00:17:31,022 One last thing. 426 00:17:37,529 --> 00:17:38,896 - Yes! - Oh! 427 00:17:38,930 --> 00:17:41,099 - Yeah! Great job! - Whoo! 428 00:17:41,132 --> 00:17:43,568 I forgot to tell you that messing with a mailbox 429 00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:44,969 is a federal crime. 430 00:17:45,002 --> 00:17:46,038 We should probably run right now. 431 00:17:51,075 --> 00:17:52,510 Hey. 432 00:17:52,543 --> 00:17:53,878 How you feeling? 433 00:17:53,912 --> 00:17:56,014 A little better. W-What did the doctor say? 434 00:17:56,047 --> 00:17:58,183 Well, no disease, 435 00:17:58,215 --> 00:18:00,885 but she says you're under a lot of stress. 436 00:18:00,918 --> 00:18:02,720 So, why didn't you tell me 437 00:18:02,753 --> 00:18:03,855 you've been having these stomach aches? 438 00:18:03,887 --> 00:18:07,024 Well, I-I didn't want to worry you. 439 00:18:07,058 --> 00:18:10,761 Well, I'm a parent. I'm supposed to worry. 440 00:18:10,795 --> 00:18:13,265 And now, the doctor says that me talking to you 441 00:18:13,298 --> 00:18:16,601 about all this Covid stuff might be causing the problem. 442 00:18:16,634 --> 00:18:18,270 Do you think we talk about it too much? 443 00:18:18,302 --> 00:18:21,205 Yeah, but we have to. 444 00:18:21,239 --> 00:18:22,908 Why? 445 00:18:22,941 --> 00:18:25,309 Because you need to. 446 00:18:25,343 --> 00:18:27,946 What are you talking about? 447 00:18:27,979 --> 00:18:29,780 Covid makes people anxious, 448 00:18:29,814 --> 00:18:32,217 and you've been having panic attacks. 449 00:18:32,250 --> 00:18:34,786 That's why you want to talk about it all the time. 450 00:18:34,818 --> 00:18:37,856 Sharing it with other people makes it less scary, right? 451 00:18:37,888 --> 00:18:39,924 No, I don't want to talk about it. 452 00:18:39,958 --> 00:18:42,928 I-I was only doing it to make you less anxious. 453 00:18:42,961 --> 00:18:45,697 So, we don't have to do this? 454 00:18:45,730 --> 00:18:47,299 My God, no! 455 00:18:48,966 --> 00:18:50,768 It... It's like that O. Henry story, 456 00:18:50,801 --> 00:18:53,972 but instead of selling your hair to get me a pocket watch, 457 00:18:54,004 --> 00:18:57,608 you gave me severe cramps and diarrhea. 458 00:18:57,642 --> 00:18:59,978 Oh, yeah, everybody knows that O. Henry story. 459 00:19:01,145 --> 00:19:04,648 Anyway, um, since my love 460 00:19:04,682 --> 00:19:09,120 irritates your intestinal tract, let's try this... 461 00:19:09,153 --> 00:19:12,624 We are going to focus on the positives 462 00:19:12,656 --> 00:19:14,960 and we're gonna stop looking at the negatives. 463 00:19:14,992 --> 00:19:17,261 That sounds good. And who are you? 464 00:19:17,295 --> 00:19:18,997 Come on. 465 00:19:19,030 --> 00:19:21,132 Look, there's animals coming back to places 466 00:19:21,164 --> 00:19:23,801 that were totally overrun with people. 467 00:19:23,835 --> 00:19:25,837 There's jellyfish that are living again 468 00:19:25,869 --> 00:19:27,271 in the canals of Venice. 469 00:19:27,305 --> 00:19:29,975 Is that a good thing? I thought jellyfish sting you. 470 00:19:30,008 --> 00:19:31,710 Oh, you don't have to worry about that, honey. 471 00:19:31,742 --> 00:19:32,577 They're in Italy. 472 00:19:32,610 --> 00:19:34,145 You're never gonna make it past Indiana. 473 00:19:35,847 --> 00:19:37,749 I-I guess I just have to relax 474 00:19:37,781 --> 00:19:41,218 and accept that even bad things happen for a reason. 475 00:19:41,251 --> 00:19:42,787 That's right. 476 00:19:42,819 --> 00:19:44,188 And you know the saying... 477 00:19:44,222 --> 00:19:47,224 "When God closes a door, he opens a window." 478 00:19:47,258 --> 00:19:49,094 And that's how the murder hornets get in. 479 00:19:50,260 --> 00:19:52,664 I'll... I'll work on it. Yeah. 480 00:19:52,696 --> 00:19:55,199 That wasn't good. 481 00:20:01,905 --> 00:20:03,040 What are you doing out here? 482 00:20:03,074 --> 00:20:04,743 Having a little celebration. 483 00:20:04,776 --> 00:20:07,178 Problem at the cemetery... resolved. 484 00:20:07,211 --> 00:20:10,181 You slept with the cemetery guy? Gross. 485 00:20:10,213 --> 00:20:12,049 He didn't make you lie perfectly still, did he? 486 00:20:12,083 --> 00:20:13,852 Oh, my God! 487 00:20:13,885 --> 00:20:15,753 I didn't do anything with the cemetery guy. 488 00:20:15,787 --> 00:20:18,023 Oh, come on. You can tell me. 489 00:20:18,056 --> 00:20:19,223 Was his bed like a coffin? 490 00:20:19,257 --> 00:20:22,027 Ugh! I wouldn't know. 491 00:20:22,059 --> 00:20:24,428 There was a phone call, we came to an agreement, and it's done. 492 00:20:24,462 --> 00:20:25,930 I'm having Roseanne moved. 493 00:20:25,962 --> 00:20:27,665 Sweet. 494 00:20:27,699 --> 00:20:30,001 I feel sorry for whoever's gonna be buried next to that jerk. 495 00:20:30,033 --> 00:20:31,770 Yeah. 496 00:20:31,802 --> 00:20:34,739 I don't think my mom's gonna like it. 497 00:20:38,276 --> 00:20:40,872 Grandpa, where were you? You never miss dinner. 498 00:20:40,928 --> 00:20:43,669 What's with all the screaming? 499 00:20:43,755 --> 00:20:45,379 Dad, we're not screaming. 500 00:20:45,426 --> 00:20:47,396 Maybe it just seemed that way 'cause somebody 501 00:20:47,428 --> 00:20:50,565 just got certified pre-owned hearing aids. 502 00:20:50,599 --> 00:20:52,266 Used hearing aids? 503 00:20:52,300 --> 00:20:55,070 That's disgusting. 504 00:20:55,102 --> 00:20:57,038 You know, if you snuck up behind an old guy 505 00:20:57,071 --> 00:20:59,140 to take them, they don't work. 506 00:20:59,174 --> 00:21:02,077 No, I got them from a very fine pawnshop, 507 00:21:02,109 --> 00:21:04,146 and they work fantastically. 508 00:21:04,178 --> 00:21:06,348 Can you hear this? 509 00:21:06,380 --> 00:21:08,383 Yes. 510 00:21:08,416 --> 00:21:11,086 Can you hear this? Old goat says what? 511 00:21:11,118 --> 00:21:14,006 Yes, I can hear it. Move. 512 00:21:14,755 --> 00:21:16,257 And with this gizmo, 513 00:21:16,291 --> 00:21:18,426 I can also turn them all the way down 514 00:21:18,459 --> 00:21:21,317 so I don't have to hear any of this. 515 00:21:21,342 --> 00:21:23,372 Now, tell me, Jackie, how was your day? 38485

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