All language subtitles for Bombshell (1933) WEBRip 720p YTS.MX - YIFY

Oh, what did you do that for?

Eh.. Somethin' kinda cute
was about to happen.

I know.
But it's six o'clock.

Oh.

Gee, what a business.

You might as well run a milk route.

Where's Mac?
Isn't she up yet?

I'll get to her directly..

Mm, where is Summers
with the orange juice?

His nice lukewarm orange juice
with seeds in it.

Oh, I heard him flushing
around in the kitchen.

Hey, I didn't give you that
for a negligee.

It's an evening wrap.

I know, Ms. Lola.

But the negligee what you give me
got all tore up night before last.

Your day off is sure brutal
on your lingerie.

Just a minute.

Just a minute.

Can't you get up in time enough
to put on your uniform?

Don't scold me
with your steam, woman.

I knows where the body's buried.

Yes? Ms. Mac, Ms. Burns'
secretary speaking.

Oh, it's you, is it?

Yes, I know it's six o'clock

and I know she's due
on location at 7:30.

And I know she's to wear the
white dress without the brassiere.

And I know you'll always be
just a second assistant director

because you don't think
anybody else is capable

of thinking
for himself or herself.

Ahem.

Oh, good morning, Summers.

How's your brother?

Brother, Ms. Burns?

Sure.
The one in San Quentin.

Are they gonna let him out?

But I only have
a married sister, Ms. Burns.

Oh, that's right,
I was thinking of the guy

that was here last week.

Oh, yes.
His name was Summers, I believe.

I'm Winters.

Hmm. He was Summers
and you're Winters.

Are butlers always in season?

Uh, I can't say, miss.

Hey!
This isn't orange juice!

No, miss. I-i-it's,
i-it's sauerkraut juice.

Well, take it away.

Mm, just like dipping your
tongue in Lux.

B-but I-I'm sorry, miss,
but there weren't any oranges.

No oranges?
This is California, man.

Tell Mrs. Crawford
to come in here.

She's supposed to order as well
as do the cooking for this troop.

Mrs. Crawford isn't here
this morning, miss.

Well, why not?

It seems her niece is..

...is having a baby.

That's life for ya.

The cook's relatives have babies

and I have sauerkraut juice.

- Good morning, Ms. Burns.
- Hello, sweetheart.

Give massage before or after?

Rub that in good, darling.

We're gonna use
a darker make-up today.

Twenty-eight.

That cameraman must think

he's Rembrandt or someone.

Trying to tell me about skin
texture in yesterday's scenes.

Dear, I wish you'd bind
your wave when you go to bed.

Ms. Burns, really!

Listen! One at a time!
Can't you see I'm makin' her up?

Well, this is important too.

Ouch!
Will you please be careful?

I'm sorry, Ms. Burns.

But every time, he and I

get in the same argument.

Oh! Look what ya done now!

Will somebody please get me
a towel?

Don't let that iron burn the bed!

Oh, that's terrible.

'I don't care, Mac. Gee whiz'

'with all the dough
I drag down every week'

'I don't see why things
can't be run better.'

- 'Every time I... '
- Lola!

I can only do one thing at a time.

I really think you oughta
discharge Loretta.

She's becoming impossible.
And full of lip too.

- Oh, Loretta's alright.
- Oh, good morning, daughter.

Pops, you old darling!
What are you doing up so early?

Are you gonna settle down
and help Lola out.

I, uh..

Your career is always paramount

in my mind, daughter, I-I...

That's the same shirt and tie
you had on yesterday.

Oh, yes, daughter.
The laundry...

Oh, the laundry, nothing,
you old rooster.

You've been out all night
and you're still boiled.

I.. I've been in conference
with some racing men.

We've been discussing
methods of breeding.

Don't talk to me about
your methods of breeding.

I don't wanna hear another word.

Where's the car?
I gotta go to work.

Oh, I insisted that Jeffries
get some sleep.

We-we've been using him
a little hard lately.

Yeah, I get it.

Alright, Mac. Have him bring
around my roadster.

Your brother took
the roadster to Tijuana.

Tijuana?
Say, who told him...

I sent Junior down there

to look over a crop of fillies

with the idea
of a possible purchase.

Now, I know the kind of fillies
he'll look over.

Alright. Have him bring
around the station wagon...

Oh, Ms. Burns, the cook
took the station wagon.

That's great!

Now, what am I supposed to go
to work in, a kiddie car?

I don't know why I go on
putting up with this.

I do all the work. And everybody
uses my automobiles but me.

And Pops is stewed and I get
soaked in sauerkraut juice and..

Ms. Carroll.

- How do you do?
- Hello. Remember me?

Carroll from Photoplay.
I have to have a story, Lola.

Of course.

Oh, Ms. Carroll,
always glad to see the press.

I know it's pretty early
but Space Hanlon said

we could talk at breakfast
on the way to location.

Your studio couldn't have
a better publicity head

than Hanlon, Lola.

He can always fit things in.

He certainly can.

Uh, Summers, uh, uh, Winters

show Ms. Carroll
into the music room.

I'll join you in a moment.

This way.

Ha! Space Hanlon always
slips things in, does he?

He won't give me a minute
to myself, that's what.

And all those lies
he's had printed about me

every since I've been
in this business.

"Listen, sweetheart,
you'd still be an extra

if it wasn't for me and what
I know to feed the public."

'I'll call a studio car, Lola.'

Space Hanlon,
that double-crossing...

My daughter,
Ms. Carroll is waiting.

A fine time
to arrange an interview

with a person not half awake.

- Oh, but daughter, don't...
- Oh, Pops, stop.

And now, Ms. Carroll,
what's it to be?

We can start in
while we're waiting.

Alright. Uh, let's start
with your early life, Lola.

Uh, see if we can get
a new slant on it, eh?

Let's see, uh,
born in Illinois, wasn't it?

Yes, you see when mother died...

We, uh, we had extensive acreage

in the southern part
of the state.

I-I dabbled in breeding
thoroughbreds and trotters.

'Lola has always known
and loved animals'

ever since she was born.

You see, I always told her

'that animals were like
human beings. I... '

When did you first think
of entering pictures, Lola?

- Well, always, I guess.
- Yes.

I always fostered Lola's interest

and ability in histrionics.

Perhaps I should've
heeded the call

to the theater myself but I..

'I've been glad to be
just a sportsman, I guess.'

'But I've always listened
to Lola recite.'

'Forced her to, in fact.'

Watched her dictions,
her postures, you understand?

Lola, the studio car just
arrived with this new script.

You'll have to get right over there.

Studio? Well, what about
location? Al...

It was raining out in Riverside.
Called off out there.

Oh, new scenes,
new lines, everything.

Well, what's this?
I don't recognize it.

Retakes on "Red Dust."
The Hays' office sent it.

Something in the picture's gotta
open Monday in New York.

Come on.
We'll have to hurry.

But I don't know these lines.
I..

Gosh, that means
a different makeup.

And I have to have my hair
changed again. And..

I ask you, Ms. Carroll,
as one lady to another.

Isn't that a load of clams?

It's a 9 o'clock call on stage
seven. You'll just make it.

Alright, let's go.
Of all the things that I..

We'll have to send for you
some other time, Ms. Carroll.

But I guess you know everything
anyway. Where's Loretta?

Where's Barko?
Where's Blimpo?

Come on, will ya hurry up?

We're late for the studio now.

When the Marquis..
Down, Blimpo, down!

When the Marquis calls,
tell him to come to the studio.

Down, Blimpo!
Barko! Stop it.

Pops, you go to bed
and sleep it off, will ya?

What are these scenes anyway?
I don't know anything.

Well, here goes
for another day's work

and I'm dead on my feet already.

What's the way out
of this squirrel cage?

Who knows? Who cares?

- Is Hanlon in?
- Uh, no. He isn't.

'How nice you look, Ms. Lola.'

'Never mind that.'

'Where's Space Hanlon?'

Come on out of there!

Come on out!

I'll wait here,
if it takes me a 100 years!

London?
One minute please.

You big coward,
come out of that office!

Mr. Hanlon, London's calling.

Open up this door!

Mr. Hanlon,
London's calling. London!

'Tell them to call back.'

But it's London!

I'm not going to go away.
You come out!

Listen, Alice, I'm just as
sore about it as you are

I don't know how it got
in the papers.

Believe me, when I saw it
I could've dropped dead!

Don't touch me! Don't touch me,
you double-crosser.

You gave it
to the papers yourself!

Who, me?
How can you say such a thing?

After all I've done?

- Like a brother!
- Look.

"Film star visits Xavier at
hospital and stays overnight."

What'll my husband say?

He won't know anything about it.

He's in London, isn't he?

Listen, Alice.
Get me Harrigan!

How do I..
Will you get me Harrigan?

After all these years, you think
I'd do a thing like that to you?

You make me feel like a scum,
no matter how much

I want publicity
there's a limit someplace.

I got some decency left.
I...

- Mr. Hanlon. Mr. Harrigan.
- Yeah.

Now, listen here, shyster. I'm
getting sick and tired of this.

Did you read
this morning's papers?

What kind of a legal department
are you anyway?

What do you let 'em print
stuff like that for?

I want you to start suing that
paper immediately, for libel.

A $100,000. $200,000..

Do ya hear me?
$250,000.

And I don't want any retraction.
I want blood!

Now, stop crying, honey,
I'll have 'em print an apology

on the front page with your picture.

Mr. Hanlon, London's calling.

You know how I feel about you.

Oh, I wouldn't hurt you, kid

any more than
I would my own mother.

You leave this whole thing to me.

I'll straighten it all out.

Thanks, Space.
I have a big day.

Alright, honey.
You go on back on the set.

They'll be lookin'
all over the lot for ya.

You just trust old Space.
He'll fix it up for ya.

London's on the phone,
Mr. Hanlon.

Why didn't you say so?
Listen, Elsie.

Get in there on my private phone
and call Schwartz at his home.

Tell him that I just found out
that Alice Cole

is gonna be over at the hospital
again tonight wearin' a veil

and for him to take
a cameraman along. Hurry up!

I'm going to Pittsburgh
in the morning

and I just had to get
your autograph.

Do you know me?
I'm Vera Social.

- Don't you recognize me?
- What?

I'm your husband.

Why did you go away
and leave the baby?

Oh, please go away.
Driver, go ahead!

You must come home with me,
there's been

two more babies
since you've left.

Please!
My darling wife!

Frank, come here.
Help!

Driver, go on!

I can prove it
by the mole on her back.

Ask her. Ask her
about the mole on her back.

I haven't got a mole on my back.

Let me go! Let me..
Let me go!

So, they had to call out the army

to keep me away
from my wife, huh?

Well, I'll find a way.

We're all ready on stage seven, Lola.

So, snap to it, will ya?
Please.

Alright, Broph.
Alright!

And have some coffee
on the set, will ya?

- You know the new lines?
- I'll have them.

But don't think I'm gonna get in
that rain barrel

if the water is as cold
as it was last time.

A polar bear woulda died in it.

'It's heated, Lola. Honest!'

Lola, I just seen Gillette

about an extension
of your contract. He says...

- Don't bother me now, Ike.
- But the new contract?

I got a special Cadillac sports
job out in front, Ms. Burns.

I thought perhaps you'd like to
take a look at it. It's slight...

Hey, I got three cars of my own
now and they're all used.

Here's that endowment policy,
Ms. Burns.

Twenty year pay life
with health and accident...

Say, what do you fellas do,
sleep here?

But this is the one that your
father and I went over.

'Who's selling her this policy,
you or me?'

- I know, Mac...
- And that reminds me.

I didn't get mine for the
insurance on the house, come on.

Well, well, well,
I see the bread lines

already started to form
this morning.

Here's a couple of more vultures.

I've come to collect
the skeleton, boys.

That is, if you've got
all the meat off of it.

I heard you, Space Hanlon.
And I'm sorry.

But any conversation with you

would be just too much
of a strain this morning.

'And you don't need
to keep standing there.'

Because there's absolutely no chance
of that door being unlocked.

Hello, sugar.

Who put all the prune whip
on your pan?

I feel a slight draft, Loretta.
But go ahead.

"What's the idea
of gettin' in that barrel?"

Hmm, wait a minute.
Don't tell me.

Let me think.

One at a time, please!
Don't crowd.

Step right up, folks. In the
next tent we have Lola Burns.

The girl who actually thinks
while thousands cheer.

Hey, Lola.

You get outta here with your
cheap wisecracks.

I wasn't in there
in the first place.

You fool!

Come on, Lola.

How 'bout you and me ending
this cat-and-dog fight, huh?

Gee, I'd like to, Space.

Give him a break will you, Lola.

He's not a bad guy
for a publicity man.

That's just it.
We used to have a lotta fun.

But ever since I began
to make a name for myself

he's been double-crossing me
with his rotten publicity.

He's seen to it that Lola Burns
is a family slogan

from Kokomo, Indiana
to the Khyber Pass.

Strongmen take one look
at your picture

go home and kiss their wives
for the first time in 10 years.

You're international tonic.

You're a boon to re-population

in a world thinned out
by war and famine.

- You're the...
- That's all very funny.

But how do you think
I enjoy reading

all that scandal that hasn't
an ounce of truth in it?

I've told you, sugar.

It isn't what you like to read.

It's what the public
likes to read.

They see you in these
Scarlet Letter Lily...

Well, I'm sick and tired
of playing unladylike parts

and of your
undignified publicity.

And I'm gonna tell
Mr. Gillette about it.

Don't blame me.
I'm only doin' my job.

Hey, how 'bout you and me going
to the Coconut Grove tonight?

It's, uh, collegiate night
or somethin' like that.

I'll dig up a frat pin
and we'll pretend

we're 17 again.
What do you say, huh?

I'm sorry, but I'm going
with somebody else.

'Oh.'

Well, gosh, Space,
you don't ask me

till the last minute.
How was I to know?

Why, tell him you've gotta work,
tell him you sprained your ankle

tell him you got
Klieg eyes or somethin'.

I can't, Space.

Aw, go ahead.

I'll break a story
in the afternoon edition

just to prove it, huh?

See, that's just typical.

Another lie!

- Who are you goin' with?
- A friend of mine.

Oh.
That Marquis, huh?

Yes, if you have to know.

Aw, gee, Lola, what's the idea
in runnin' around

with that rummage sale Romeo?

Did I insult Alice Cole

when she had you
making calves eyes at her?

Why don't you
take her with ya tonight?

'Alice Cole is now
a respectable married woman.'

'And she hates my insides.'

That's why Hugo happens to be
a charming gentleman.

Just because a guy
with an out-of-town accent

happens to have a dress suit with
a hair ribbon across his chest

you dames get a pedigree

and start reachin'
for the diamond tiara.

What's the next line, Loretta?

What are you gonna do,
write him off your income tax?

Why don't you ask
Georgia Mansfield

or Thelma Joyce,
how much he mooched out of them?

Excuse the noise, Loretta.

We seem to be
passing the stockyard.

Oh..

Listen, sugar

I know I'm no prize

out of a Cracker Jack box.

But at least I don't allow
a procession of dames

to lead me around by the nose.

That's because somebody
forgot to put a ring in it!

Hi, Ms. Lane.
Back in Indochina again.

- Hi, Lois.
- Hi, Lois.

Say, where's Clark, isn't he
working in this with me?

Clark's on 15 till noon.

We're gonna shoot
your close-up first.

And who's directing
these retakes?

- Jim Brogan.
- No. Jim Brogan?

When did he come back on the lot?

Yesterday. Does that give
you any heartthrobs, pal?

Now, wait a minute, cupid.

Don't start sneakin' around
this set

with your bow and arrows
because..

Broph, you remembered.

That's what's the matter
with me. I've been hungry.

Hey!

- You call me?
- Where's your pass, please?

Pass? I've never needed
a pass before.

A new ruling, sir.

But I've come to see Ms. Burns.

Did she leave a word then?

- I am the Marquis de Hugo...
- I know who you are.

But you see, it's a new ruling.

Let's not argue this here.

Call Ms. Burns on the set

and explain the situation.

Alright.

Hello? Yeah, it's me, Frank.

What?
Well, who said so?

Mr. Hanlon?
Oh, he did, did he?

Well, you let him in right away!

I don't care.
I said let him in!

I'll attend to Mr. Hanlon.

Alright!
Let him in!

Tryin' to keep my friends
out of the stu..

- Jim!
- Hiya, babe.

They just told me
you'd come back on the lot.

- Gee, you look swell.
- So do you, Lola.

I was sorry to hear
about your divorce.

No, don't be. Maybe that's why
I'm lookin' so good.

You just couldn't
make it work, could you?

No.
But I don't blame her.

She was out of the business.

Couldn't get used to
the long hours and..

- Well, you know.
- Mm-hm.

I was a fool to ever look at
anybody but you, Lola.

You kind of stood me up,
didn't ya, Jim?

I guess a girl's gotta
lose her head once

just to get it back
again for keeps.

You know, darlin'

just seein' you again makes
me crazier than ever about ya.

Cut, Jim. Cut.

No, on the level, honey.
I mean it this time.

- What do ya say?
- I say we go to work.

Oh, Hugo, darling.
I'm so sorry.

Honest. I don't know
how it happened.

It was very embarrassing

to be stopped and questioned
by an ordinary porter.

Oh, I know, Hugo.
Do you know Jim Brogan?

Yeah, we met once or twice.

Glad to know you.

He admitted he knew who I was

and yet he wouldn't let me pass.

Alright, clear the stage!

Gimme all your lights, honey!

Come on over and sit down.

Honest, it won't
happen again, Hugo.

There, you can see
everything from there.

- Thank you.
- I've got to fix my hair.

A little hotter
on that roof, pal.

A little hotter on the roof.

Alright, that's enough.

I'm sorry.
I didn't know you were there.

Oh, Hugo, darling.
Does it hurt?

He didn't mean to do it.
Let me see.

- No, it's perfectly alright.
- Places, please!

Hugo, dear, would you like a
glass of water or-or some coffee?

- Loretta, maybe...
- Whenever Ms. Burns is ready!

Alright.

Now, look, Lola.

You're in the barrel, see?

And Gable comes around there

'and when he gets opposite here'

'you watch my hand
for the signal.'

You start splashing
the water and laughing.

And, then..

Why, Jim.
What's the matter?

Jim, now what are ya mad about?

Listen, will you kindly tell
that glorified barber

to get off my set?

He's not a barber.

He speaks French and Spanish
and Italian...

I don't care if he speaks Eskimo!

I don't like him.
Tell him to get off!

He's got royal blood
in his veins.

I don't care if he's got
a royal flush in his kidneys!

- Tell him to scram!
- Jim!

I can't stand him, I tell ya.
Tell him to get off!

'You can't talk that way about Hugo!'

Yeah, they told me you'd
fallen for that gigolo.

- But I didn't believe it.
- Are you talking about me?

- Yes, I'm talkin' about you!
- Jim, stop it! Hugo!

Well, well.
Good morning, everybody!

- 'Hugo! Jim! Stop it!'
- 'Get him away from me, Lola!'

Children. Daughter.
What is this?

Here's old Colonel Starbottle.

What a morning's work
this is gonna be.

This bore seems to infer that
I am unwelcome in this place.

Oh, James, James, my boy. You
mustn't quarrel with Hugo. No.

I thought, I threw that old lush

off my set for good a year ago.

As my daughter's
business manager..

- Business manager?
- I demand an apology!

Eh, I'd forgotten all about you.

Since when did you
drop your buggy whip

and take up the reigns
of finance?

Hey, now, you needn't speak

of that so lightly, sir.

- Horses are coming back.
- Pop!

Sure they are. You'll be behind
every one of 'em with a broom!

You can't talk to my father
like that! I won't allow it!

- 'But, Lola, after all... '
- 'Who do you think you are?'

'Talking to a poor
defenseless old man.'

'When I'm working I won't
have my set buttered up'

with a lot of loafers.

See here! I'm her father.

- Whose round is this?
- You keep out of it!

Stay out of here, Hanlon!

I don't bother with your department.

Now, wait a minute, Jim.
Wait a minute.

Now, listen, I don't need you
to settle any of my arguments.

I know, but wait a minute.

Is this the old smooth-
tongued easy-goin' Brogan

the one genius in all Hollywood
that hasn't got any temperament?

Only the other day,
Gillette was sayin' to me

"Thank heaven,
Jim Brogan's back on the lot."

I know, but..
Did he really say that?

Certainly said that,
and a lot more.

Now, how'd you like to have him
come poppin' in here

right now and see you
rantin' around here

like any ordinary
quickie director?

Why don't you get up there
and check on your set up?

- I'll get rid of this, fungi.
- Thanks, Space.

Hey!
What else did he say?

I'll give you the low-down later.

I don't understand all this.

Just a little riposte but it happens
to all creative sensitive people.

Marquis, you're just the man
that I wanted to see.

Yes, you do.

You tried to keep him
off the lot.

- That's what you did.
- Oh, Lola, please.

It was all a ghastly mistake.
A thousand apologies, Marquis.

What I said was that the minute
that you appeared on the lot

I wanted you to report
immediately to my office.

That fool, Frank, got it
all wrong.

Yeah, Frank usually
gets things pretty straight.

Oh, Lola, please,
I've just realized that

the Marquis is the one man in a
1000 to help me out of a hole.

You see, we're having
a little trouble getting

stuff in European publications.

And I feel sure that if
the Marquis will give us

the benefit of his
continental training

I'd certainly appreciate...

But, why..

You know, I work
very hard, Marquis.

But believe it or not, I have
never been out of the state.

Naturally, I haven't got
the pulse of the European public

as well as I might have.

However, on the other hand,
if you'll..

Oh, by the way, Mr. Burns,
will you drop over

to Hurrell's as soon as you can, please
and have some new photographs taken.

I'm, uh, gettin' up an article

about you in
"The American Sportsman."

Ha-ha.
Certainly, Space.

"American Sportsman," eh?

That Hanlon's
a bright young fella.

Well, at least he sees Hugo as
a man of intelligence after all.

Yeah. Photographs, eh?
Well, I'll do that just..

Just as soon as you
sign this check, daughter.

- Four hundred dollars?
- I want to wire it right away.

- Who for?
- Well, Junior didn't explain.

- He just...
- Oh, I get it. Tijuana again.

They've been giving him a sleigh
ride on that roulette wheel.

Now, Lola, you mustn't be
too hard on your brother...

Not another nickel!

He's been supporting every
gambling joint on that border

with his millionaire complex
and my money!

- Yeah, but they're liable to...
- Well, let them hold him.

Let 'em put him to work
on a rock pile. I don't care.

I'm through.
He's a liar and a no-good.

And, uh..

Oh, what the heck, ma liked him.

Good evening, everybody.

This is Gus Arnheim, speaking
to you from the Coconut Grove.

I see quite a few notables
here this evening, folks.

'Why, right here in front of us,
I see the beautiful Lola Burns.'

'The bombshell herself, folks.'

'And she's dancing with
the Marquis Di Binelli Di Pisa.'

'What a romantic couple
they make.'

- Good evening, Gus.
- Hello, Lola.

- Oh, Ms. Burns.
- Oh, Ms. Burns.

Ms. Burns, where'd you get
the lovely gown?

Everyone in our town
is just crazy about you.

Uh, gentlemen. I..

Oh, uh, well, uh,
who did you work for?

There he is.

I could dance with you forever,
Hugo darling.

Sorry, Ms. Burns,
I'll have to cut in.

I beg your pardon.

Are you the Marquis Di
Binelli Di Pisa?

- I am but what...
- We're federal.

From the immigration office.
You'll have to come along.

The commissioner
wants to talk to you.

Hugo, what on Earth?

- Take your hands off me!
- Don't get tough.

- I haven't had my dinner yet.
- What is the meaning of this?

How dare you come in here!
Hugo, what do they want?

Well, you pulled it off
on schedule alright.

It's a good thing you did.

If you hadn't, we'd be
in a nice sweet jam.

You stick with me and you'll
scoop the town every time.

Now, this stays
on the front page tomorrow

I send over another case.

Was that Walker
Black Label alright?

Perfect, Space.

That's all I want to know.

Come on, blow, will ya?

I do not know what you're
talking about.

It ain't that much
of a jigsaw puzzle.

Do you know what you're doing?

This is the way
we make our living, Ms. Burns.

Give the Marquis
his hat and coat.

What's going on here?
How are you Marquis?

Oh, Space,
you've got to do something.

They're arresting the Marquis
and he hasn't done anything.

Why, boys, boys.
You can't do a thing like this.

I'll answer for this gentleman.

He'll give the answers himself.

You can't pull a trick
like that here.

This is a private party.

Uncle Sam can pull
anything anywhere.

Madame.

I tell you, it's all a mistake.

We've got all the records, Marquis.

Oh, Space, please!

Now, what's the rap?
What's he done?

He's been two years in this country
over his original passport limit.

It's about time we got around to him.

Oh, so, that's it!

It's alright, Lola.
Listen, boys.

I'm E.J. Hanlon
of the Monarch Studios.

Now, if any of you boys
like to drop out to the studio

on your day off,
we can use extra on the set

for around, oh, say,
a c-note apiece.

Nothin' to do but stand around and
talk to the beautiful extra girls.

Yeah, you might be the secretary
of the interior for all I know.

- And we don't get no days off.
- Where are you taking him?

To the county jail
until he can appear

before the commissioner
in the morning.

Jail?
Oh, Space, they can't do that.

Unless, of course
he can put up $3000 cash.

That's the standard bail.

And where am I going to get
$3000 at this time of night?

That's your worry or Ms. Burns'

or your loud-mouth friend here.

Get in, please.

You two coppers haven't
heard the last of this.

There's gonna be a couple of badges
without owners down there tomorrow.

Oh, don't worry, Hugo.
I'll get the money tonight.

Honest, I will. Now, don't
worry. I'll find it some way.

Just about the nerviest...

I've got to get $3000 right now!

Well, gee, sugar
I'd give it to ya...

Are you sure you didn't have
something to do with this?

Honey ball, don't talk like that!

Swear now?

You can cut out my appendix
without ether if I did.

Wasn't I plannin' to work
with him all week?

Listen, you're a little bit upset.

Let's drop back up and duck into

a pint of Paul Roget
I got in a cooler

and have a couple of dances, huh?

With Hugo is sitting in jail?

Oh, what's the matter?
It's a nice clean jail.

- Brand new, modern plumbing..
- Oh, it's awful.

Get me a taxicab.

I gotta go home and find pops

on account of
I've gotta get some money.

Oh, listen, sugar.

Why don't you come up
and have a couple of dances

and recover from the shock?

I can't, Space.

- 812 North Linden, please.
- Okay.

You didn't need to come, Space.

You think, I'd let you run
around alone at night.

Listen, sugar.

You don't need to worry about Hugo.

I'll blow down there tomorrow and
when I do, I'll pull enough wire

to string another Atlantic cable.

Well, if Hugo had only told me
about this in the first place

I coulda fixed it all up for him.

You know, sometimes
you're so rotten.

Sometimes, you're so nice.

Yeah?
Moody sort of a guy, huh?

Why don't you go see
a psychiatrist

or whatever you call 'em,
so you can be nice all the time?

- Listen, sugar...
- 'Extra!'

'Read all about the Marquis
and Lola Burns!'

- 'Extra!'
- Boy! Come here. Boy!

'Read all about the Marquis... '

Boy, gimme a paper.

Quick work, wasn't it, Ms. Burns?

Well, they, they gave it
quite a spread, didn't they?

If I wanted to soil my hands,
I'd spread you all over the...

You act like I had
somethin' to do with it?

Who else could?

Poor Hugo was arrested
just two minutes ago

and here it is spread
all over the front page!

Yeah, but, sugar, modern
journalism has speeded up

just like everything else.

You know, special open wire story

goes right in the Linotype,
on the presses.

You see it in the newsreel.

Prr-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa.
Bam.

Out comes the editions,
all folded up.

Spread all over the city
by special cars.

Newsies start selling
to the man on the street.

He reads the story, gets the
dope exactly as if he'd

been right on the spot
the minute it happened.

Stop this cab
and get out of here!

Oh, sugar.
You got me all wrong.

You proved to me
what kind of a guy Hugo is.

Besides, he's your friend.

He's a charming
cultured gentleman.

We need more men
like Hugo in this country.

We're all pioneers
and backwoodsmen.

Well, listen,
I think that there oughta be

a quota for all Hugos.

Uh! Be careful, Lola!

Step on it, driver.
I'm being annoyed!

Now, listen, Lola, sugar.

So, you'd let me
cut your appendix out

without ether, would ya? Huh!

I got it on you there.

I had mine out long before
my voice changed.

- Charge it, please.
- Alright, Ms. Burns.

- Um. Oh-oh.
- Argh!

My loving wife!

Oh, what kind of a rib is this?

Rib? Rib! That's it!

I'm Adam, you're Eve.
You came from one of my ribs.

- Oh, I came from Peoria.
- Oh, please.

Oh, go away. Go away.

Say, baby.
We oughta get goin'.

'We don't wanna
get caught around here.'

Aw, she won't get back for hours.

And anyway if she doesn't like
it, she can..

Shh.

Well..

Some of my friends just dropped
in for a little drink.

Well, where's Pops?
I gotta see him right away.

He hasn't been here all evening.

What's the matter, did this gang
drink up all the bourbon?

Just because I'm in your employ

is no reason for you
to insult my friends.

Listen, I gotta find Pops
and get $3000.

Is there that much
in my checking account?

Since I'm not trusted with your
financial affairs, I can't say.

Okay, but I know that
you're taking

pretty good care of my wardrobe.

Barko. Blimpo.

Loretta, you know
they have a couch

of their own on the sun porch.

Yes, ma'am, but things
was goin' on out there

the last time I looked.

Come on, trio.
Let's try it again. Come on.

Come on.

Hello?

Oh, hello, baby.

- What's the matter?
- I've gotta have $3000 now.

"Three thousand dollars?"

Yes. I can't find Pops any place.

I'll see that he pays it back
to ya in the morning.

What for?
Well, I, I..

I couldn't call on anybody,
but you, Jim.

But brother's in trouble
in Tijuana

and I've got to send it
to him tonight.

Oh, sure, a check'll do.

Oh, no, Jim. I'll send Loretta
for it in a cab.

Oh, thanks. I'm in an awful
hurry, Jim. Goodbye.

- Loretta, call a cab.
- 'Yessum.'

- Lola really means this?
- Precisely, sir.

And I'm with her to the hilt.

Poor harassed little child.

I insisted that she write
this letter immediately.

Just a minute, please.

The Burns Company isn't
working today, is it?

'No, sir.'

Tell Mr. Hanlon to come in
right away.

Uh, this is disgraceful, Gillette.

Why, Hugo comes from
a noble family.

And, uh, as for Lola,
uh, on my side

she-she's descended
from everything

back of Edward IX.

You mean the eighth, don't you?
There was no ninth.

Yes, of course, I, I.. Slip of
the tongue in my excitement.

Good morning, H.E.
How are you, Pops?

Well, we got everything in,
but your picture, Pops.

But you know, the funny papers
don't come out till Sunday.

Eh, remember our stand, Gillette.

As for you young man, I wouldn't
waste my breath on you.

That's right, Pops, save it.
Natural gas, a little scarce.

Why, you, I..

Honest, H.E., how are they?
Doesn't it look pretty?

AP sent out over a 1000 words.
And more to come.

But that's not so pretty.

I don't want to interfere, Space.

But when you meddle in her
personal affairs like this

well, that's another matter.

Well, listen, H.E., Binelli
is no more her personal affair

than one of those sheepdogs.

That's a swell item about Burns.

She's great copy, because
she don't know what she wants

and she wants something
different every day.

That's a story.

She wants your job there.

Sure it wasn't anything
personal about it on your part?

I don't get you, H.E.

- No jealousy connected with it?
- Jealousy?

Listen, H.E. I'll smooth
this whole thing out

for that ungrateful
little pirate.

She wants my job, does she?

After I got the whole country
talkin' about her

over their coffee cups
this morning.

No actress has had a break
like that

since the dark lady of the sun
and sang mammy songs.

Imagine that little
Peoria cornflower

tryin' to give me
the runaround. Ha!

- 'But, Space..'
- Now, don't worry, H.E.

Where I kick her, the camera'll
never pick up the scar.

Oh, is, uh..

- Is Ms. Burns in?
- Oh, why, yes, sir.

What's the matter, Mr. Hanlon?
Are you ill, sir?

It's, uh..

- It's my appendix.
- Oh, I'm sorry, sir.

Ms. Burns is in the drawing room.

Thank you.

Hugo, dear,
don't say things like that.

Well, but, Hugo.
I don't understand.

- Your lawyer?
- Yes. My lawyer.

You might be interested to know
that Mr. Brogan's check

was canceled to the bank.

- Or did you know?
- Hugo, dear.

I just want you to know
that you are a cheap

common little peasant.

Alright, if that's the way
you feel about it

you big patent
leather peanut vendor!

Seem to be gettin' rid of a lot
of people around here today.

Well, what are you doing here?

I just..
I just came to say goodbye.

You win, Lola.

Gillette fired me.

Well, I guess, you can get
another job alright.

A lotta people seem
to think you're clever.

No.

Once you're fired by a monarch

it sort of puts a tab on ya
in this business.

It's alright.

But, uh, what are you gonna do?

Well, I don't know.

I been wantin' to get away
for a long time anyway.

China maybe. Or Australia,
Tahiti. The South Seas.

I guess that's as good a place
as any to end things up

when you're a failure.

You mean like Gable did
in "Susan Lennox"

with all those sailors
and, and women?

Yes. I-I guess it won't be
so hard to-to forget.

Will you shake hands, Lola,
before...

What do you mean, Space Hanlon?

If you're clever enough to think
up all those things about me

you've got better sense than
to do a thing like that.

Well, you know that..
That's a funny thing I..

Before Gillette
telephoned me this morning

I-I decided, I'd gone too far
with you and I..

'I oughta change
the type of stuff.'

You mean give me nice publicity?

Sure, I got the first
interviewer outside right now.

Thought maybe you might give
her a couple hours

since you're not workin' today.

She's, uh..

She's from
"The Ladies Home Companion."

Gee, that sounds nice, Space.

Strictly women's stuff,
you understand?

Photographs too.

You know, a story about you
in your own home.

Just.. Just your natural,
simple self.

You-you mean, with me cooking?

And-and, and my favorite recipes?

Yeah, and walkin'
in your little garden

and readin' all your books, and..

And giving advice to young girls
and everything.

Well, you-you can see her
if you want to, Lola

I, I just did it
as my last official act, I..

Do you mind..

Do you mind if I write
now and then?

Last official act?
We'll see about that.

Wait a minute, Lola.
What're you gonna do?

Gillette should at least have
discussed the matter with me.

We all lose our temper sometimes.

Now, Lola, I don't
want you to do that.

You're a big star and you'll
just make yourself look foolish.

I'll do whatever I..

Hello, Irene?
This is Lola Burns.

Is Mr. Gillette..

Well, when he comes in, tell him

not to pay any attention to that
letter I sent him this morning. It..

'It was a joke.'

Yes, that's right. Goodbye.

You go to Tahiti?

Why, you might get leprosy
or, or somethin'.

Oh, gosh, Lola, thanks. I,
I don't know just what to say.

I guess, I'm kinda
choked up or somethin'.

Shall I send in Mrs. Titcomb?

You were right about Hugo.

Any man that would say the things
he said to me over the phone!

- He threatens to sue me!
- Uh-huh.

You find your true friends
amidst adversity, Lola.

Jim Brogan certainly was sweet.

I called him up
in the middle of the night

and he sent down
the bail money, $3000

without asking
any questions or anything.

Well, why not?

I imagine that bluebird
would just love

to get you under a three grand
obligation to him.

Jim Brogan did that
out of pure friendship.

Ha-ha! Any time Jim Brogan
does anything

out of pure friendship for a dame
I'll call the undertaker, he's dead!

Jim Brogan's a fine man.
And besides, he's a genius.

Oh, will you stop tellin' me
all you know about him?

- Get outta here!
- Aw, sugar.

What do you see in that guy?

I see as much in him
as you see in Alice Cole!

Oh, that's all over.
Besides, you wouldn't

know anything about it,
until you come bustin'

into people's offices
without knockin'.

- Get out!
- Sure, I'll get out.

I got work to do.

I don't lay down on my job.

And furthermore,
if you think I'm..

'Over a little further, Ms. Burns.'

- Like this?
- Oh, that's fine.

Now, hold it.

Still. Thank you.

Oh, that was sweet.
So sweet.

Mm, that smells good.

I just love baked potatoes,
don't you?

'That's my last plate, Mrs. Titcomb.'

Oh, I just hate to go.

But I think I have everything,
don't you?

Oh, do stay and have luncheon,
Mrs. Titcomb.

No, dear, I must dash off

and start putting down the words.

They're just itching
at the tips of my pinkies.

Such a dear little nest
you have here.

It is cozy.

You know, I imagine
with all your work

as fascinating
and inspiring as it must be

you don't have much time

to enjoy your own fireside,
do you?

No, our life is dedicated
to our public, Mrs. Titcomb.

But tell me, dear.
You're a woman.

You're the sweet, unspoiled
child I knew you were.

But don't you ever

in the midst of the grueling
pace of your career

doesn't there ever
come a longing for..

...for the right
of all womanhood?

Um.. Let's see, uh, uh..

You mean that, uh..

'Oh, I, I mean'

don't you ever
find yourself listening

for the patter of little feet?

Why..

Oh, yes, Mrs. Titcomb. Yes.

The call of motherhood
is so strong in some women.

The call of fatherhood
in men too.

Sometimes I think
that's what killed Mr. Titcomb.

Oh, well..

We must all bear the cross
that's given us, I always say.

Uh, goodbye, my dear.

Oh, uh, don't let that studio
work you too hard now.

Goodbye, Mrs. Titcomb.

Au revoir, as the French say.

Winters?

Yes, miss.

- Have you ever had a baby?
- No, miss.

I-I never had anything
but my married sister.

'Your hat, sir?'

'Well, I won't be here'

'long enough to take it off.'

- Jim, it's you.
- Sure.

I just dropped in on the way
to work to tell you

you can't make a sucker out of me.

Why, Jim..

I read the papers too, you know?

Well, that barber of yours
can stay in the can

as far as I'm concerned.

And I called up
and canceled that check too.

I only lied to you because I knew

you wouldn't do anything
if I told you who it was for.

You see, I was trying
to help somebody

whom I thought was a friend.

What do you mean,
"thought was a friend?"

He called me up
and abused me frightfully.

He said I did it
purposely for publicity.

Sure, that's fine.

Didn't I tell you that guy
was a no-good immigrant?

That's a closed chapter
in my life.

Besides, an American
must be the father of my child.

Well, for..

Say, what's the matter with you?

You're an American,
aren't you, Jim?

Well, I don't know,
that's what they told me.

Jim, I'm serious.

Why don't we get married like
we should've done in the first place?

Lola.

And have lots of little babies.

Say, what's got into you?

What's the idea
of this fancy dress costume?

Jim, didn't you ever feel
the call of fatherhood?

- Hey, wait a minute.
- I mean to create things.

Life.
To keep the world going on.

To.. Well..

Like the trees and,
and the little birds, and..

There. Like-like Fanny there.

- Fanny?
- 'Yes, the big one.'

I call her Fanny
on account of her fantail.

But the man at the bird store

said that she was
gonna lay some eggs.

Isn't that sweet?

Honey, why don't you go
upstairs and lie down?

Maybe that's the reason I've been
so upset and miserable, Jim.

You know, deep down
in every girl's heart

there's the desire
for the right of all womanhood.

Beside her fireplace

with her husband
and their children around...

Say, listen,
you can't raise a family

and make five pictures a year.

Oh, look, Lola.

You're-you're just in a mood

and you're playing
a scene with yourself.

I'd like to have a camera
turning on you right now.

Say, you'd be a sensation.

Holy smoke.

I got a story conference
at 12 o'clock.

But I'll be back
just as soon as we're through.

Because I've heard enough to know

that it's gonna be
Lola and Jim again.

Aw, honey, you just think
you want a baby, that's all.

Why don't you call up
some orphan asylum?

Tell them to send you over one
on a 30-day free trial.

Winters? Winters?

It-it kind of gets you inside,
doesn't it?

I guess you've sort of decided.
Eh, Miss Burns?

Oh, he's beautiful.

You're right next to me
and you're gonna stay there.

Do you think his hair'll be
any lighter when he grows up?

That's hard to tell.

Wouldn't it be nice
if he were a blonde

and then people'd think
he was really mine?

Yes, that would be nice
if you were ever married.

You know where you're going, huh?

You're going home with Lola.

And I'm gonna get you a big blue
bunny with pink eyes. Yes, I am.

'Of course, before anything
can be decided, Miss Burns'

two of our committee members will
have to call on you at your home.

Really? Why?

Well, we're rather strict
where we place these children.

Well, could they come today
anytime this afternoon?

'Well, I'll see.'

Gosh, where have you been
all my life, hm?

- 'Now listen, Joe, I... '
- You can't! This is a private...

We know, lady,
but this is important!

'Call me back.'

Boys, boys,
where is your etiquette?

Is it true Lola Burns
is gonna have a baby?

We can't.. Huh? Ho!

Wow. Why, why don't you
change your brand of narcotics?

'It's true, Space.
Every paper in town's got the tip.'

'Hospital, doctor, everything.'

You can't.. Ho-ho!
Why don't you grow up?

You got your tongues hanging
out over some loony rumor.

- Hey, where are you goin'?
- I'm going over to her house.

And get a signed statement
of denial

with her own lily, white hand.

Okay. We'll go over and have
a look at her ourselves.

Are you nuts or something?

After last night's headline

she'd shoot the first reporter
that she saw.

Well, listen.

Don't you know that Lola Burns
can't have a baby?

No, no. Why?

It's not in her contract.

Oh.

Hey, pops. Mac.

Come look what I got.
Hey, everybody come here.

Now look out, Blimbo, down.
Hey!

Look out. Well, somebody..
Winters, take the dogs.

Now, don't let 'em get my things.

- Hey, here. Come along.
- Eh..

Daughter, Miss Mac
has just been telling me

of your plan,
to adopt a, a thing, uh...

Pops, look,
it's got blue elephants on it.

- Ohh, huh.
- Look out, Barko.

Four dollars for a..

I, I don't approve, daughter.

The added responsibility...

Look at the little booties

and the little flannel jackets
I got.

Aren't they sweet?
And the teddy bear.

Listen, let's go upstairs,
everybody.

I thought we'd turn
the guest room into the nursery.

And we'll move the furniture
out now so that

when his crib and his little
table up there...

My daughter,
you can't be serious about this.

The added expense is too big...

Oh, wait till you see him, pops.
He's the sweetest thing.

I bet you won't take
another drink for a month.

Oh, brr..

- Where's Miss Burns?
- Uh, she's up in her room, sir.

- Oh.
- Oh, Mr. Hanlon, sir.

- What?
- About your appendix.

Now, when I had mine out...

Oh, this is a fine time
to talk about operations.

- Say, uh, Lola.
- Yes?

I didn't send for you.

I know. But what's all this,
um..

...this, uh, tornado
about you're gonna kick

a bassinet around the house, huh?

You would try to be funny
about it.

Well, do you mean..

You mean it's true? A..

- A baby?
- Yes.

And this is one thing I don't
need any help from you on.

Aw, gee, you poor kid.

No wonder you've been
so upset lately, and..

- And I've been as rotten as...
- Why all the sympathy?

Aw, Lola, honey

baby girl.

You don't have to keep
a stiff upper lip with me.

You know..

Hey, listen.

What's his name?
That's all I want to know.

Don't tell me it's that..

- Is it that...
- Don't be silly.

I don't even know his name yet.

You don't know his na..

You mean, you..

You know..

Well, holy smoke.
When are you gonna find out?

If it's any of your business,
as soon as I adopt the baby

and get a good name to suit him.

Oh.. So, you're
going to adopt a baby?

Well, I'm not gonna kidnap one.

For a minute there,
you had me thinking

you were going in for
independent production.

I don't care
to discuss it further.

Listen. You can't adopt a baby...

As if you or anybody else
could stop me.

Yeah, but that isn't your line.

The fans don't want
to see the "It" girl

surrounded by
an aura of motherhood

leanin' over a cradle,
sterilizin' bottles.

I dubbed you the Hollywood bombshell
and that's the way they like you.

Men. Scrapes. Dazzling clothes.

A gorgeous pinwheel personality.

Not patting babies on the back
to bring up bubbles.

I thought you were going to
change that type of publicity.

I'm gonna cha.. Well,
that isn't what I mean.

I mean your work. Long hours.

You'll never see
it half the time.

Nurses will be bringing it up.

There's a lot of other people
in this business

have happy, healthy babies.

- Oh, don't. I...
- Yes, Winters?

The-the Fairfax Home phoned.

The two ladies from the committee
will be here at four o'clock.

Oh. So that's the reason
for the, uh

sweet and simple little
automobile duster, huh?

Uh, you'll serve refreshments,
Winters.

- 'Cocktails, miss?'
- 'Certainly not.'

'We'll have tea and cakes
on the sun porch.'

Oh, and Winters, uh,
show Mr. Hanlon to the door.

Okay, baby, you win.

But I'll tell you one thing.

This home with your family
is about as fine a place

to bring up a baby
as an alligator farm.

And you stay out of this,
Space Hanlon.

I'm the only one that has
anything to do with it.

Mm, but don't try to do too much.

Just remember to leave an extra
order for the milkman in the morning.

- Is this, uh, 814 Linden?
- Yeah, yeah.

Uh-huh. I'm from
the telephone company.

You might not know,
but there's something

the matter with your telephone,
where is it?

- Phone? There.
- Yeah. Hmm.

I talk phone just now.
Work good.

That's probably what happened
to it. You confused it.

Hello, Monarch.
This is Hanlon talking.

Get me Jerry Beyers, publicity.

If he's talking to anybody else,
bust in on him. Mm-hm.

You know, the telephone
is a wonderful invention.

Hello, Jerry?
This is Space talking.

Now listen and listen fast.

What's the name of that
shyster lawyer Binelli's got?

Randolph. Ben Randolph.

He called here
just five minutes ago.

Okay, I'm calling him next.
Now get this.

Tell those reporters
in my office to meet me

on the corner of the Burns
block as fast

as their varicose veins
can get them there.

Right!

Yokohama, if this show comes off

I'm going down in history..

...with Barnum.

She makes a large salary.

We should easily be able to get..

Yeah? Who wants him?

Oh, yeah? Well, who're you?

Well, I'm just a friend
that doesn't like to see

a gentleman like the Marquis
get kicked around.

If you're gonna sue, you better
lam out to her house right now

because she's planning
to leave for New York and Europe

on the five o'clock train.

Right. Right.

Right.

- How do you do?
- I am Mrs. Ward.

This is Miss Talley. We've come
to discuss the adoption.

How do you do, my dear?

Why, you're just a girl.

Won't you come out to the sun porch?
We can talk there and have tea.

Tea is not necessary, Miss Burns

but, uh, of course
if it's ready..

You know,
from everything I'd heard

I thought you were
a much older woman.

Well, I do play rather

experienced characters
on the screen.

Yes. I've only seen you
in one of them.

Rather warm weather
for California, isn't it?

Nothing to what it is
in the East, I am sure.

You must understand, dear

that we're only here,
because we must consider

the placing of a child
very carefully.

Oh, yes.

Frankly, Miss Burns

the committee is a little
dubious in your case.

After all, you have figured

in the newspapers
in a not so, uh..

'This morning's headlines
were not t-too, uh... '

Miss Ward, I'd only known
the gentleman

you mean a very short time.

A merely social friendship,
you might say.

In trying to help him,
I found out..

Well, I never want
to see him again.

Will you forgive me
if I don't discuss it?

Certainly, my dear.

Now, just when did you decide
to adopt a child, Miss Burns?

Well..

I'm going to be honest with you.
It was just this morning.

'Maybe it was just a whim then.'

I'm funny like that.

But, gosh, Mrs. Ward,
when I held that little fella

in my arms and knew that
he didn't have a home

and that I could give him one,
that he wouldn't have to grow up

like the rest
of those poor kiddies

and to love him to death
for the rest of his life

and be so proud of him
when he grows up..

Well, it just seemed to me
that having a baby

was the only worthwhile thing
in life.

And, now,
as to your immediate family

is there anybody
besides your father?

Uh, yes, my brother. That's all.

I'm so sorry he isn't here.
He, he's away on business.

Your brother's just returned,
miss.

Why, uh, oh, yes.

He's putting his car
in the garage.

Oh, I must run out and meet him.
Will you excuse me?

Of course. Certainly.

Can't go in there.

Gimme that fix.

Why, you good-for-nothing...

Now, there's no use
getting excited, Lola.

- Junior. Junior.
- Here's Sonny boy, C.O.D.

Who are you?
Where did you come from?

Oh, you're a Burns, aren't you?

Oh, your little brother
ran across me

cryin' my eyes out
down in San Diego.

It's awful lonesome down there
when the fleet's in Honolulu.

Oh, bro, please!

That's little Nellie.
She's a nice little girl.

She'd be a good bet for pictures.

I want to introduce her
to Gillette.

You can't come in here now,
either of ya.

♪ I'm stealin' the home.. ♪♪

Hey, shh, I got some nice
people, some ladies in there.

Ladies? I love the ladies.
And ladies love me...

Take him up, take him upstairs
the back way!

Come, Junior.

Why didn't you send me that dough?

Why didn't you send me that dough?

Come, Junior.

A little rest will do you good..

You keep him upstairs
and you stay up there too.

I'll explain everything later.

You mustn't mind her.
She's a little upset.

We're, uh, we're all
very hospitable here.

You old cutie!

I'm so sorry. But my brother
asked to be excused.

He's completely worn out
by his trip.

- Oh, poor boy.
- Really, Mrs. Ward.

Not one-hundredth of the stories
they print about me are true.

It's what the publicity man at the
studio thinks is good publicity.

But I told him this morning
I wouldn't stand it any longer.

And you're quite right, my dear.

I'm just my natural simple self

with my dogs and my books
and my fireside.

'Hey, Lola!
Where are ya, baby?'

I took the afternoon off,
what do ya say

we tie you to the shaker
of a cocktail..

- Oh.
- Why, it's uncle.

- Darling, where is Abby?
- What are you...

Uh, this is my Uncle Jim.
Mr., uh, Mr. James Logan.

- 'Mrs. Ward and Miss Talley.'
- How do you do?

He always comes in that way.
He's such a joker.

You big meanie, why didn't you
bring auntie with you?

Now, none of your excuses,
I've heard all of those.

You know how
I wanted to see auntie.

What do you mean by coming in here
shooting off your face like that for?

Well I.. Say,
who are those dowagers in there?

They are two ladies
from the foundling home.

How do you think I'm ever
going to adopt that little baby

when you come in here
broadcasting like a sailor?

Now, listen, Lola. You're not
really serious about that.

- Are ya?
- Yes.

Oh, he's beautiful.
I saw him today.

He's got the cutest
little button nose

and the tiniest little mouth...

Oh, those three sheepdogs
and that brother

of yours are not enough, huh?

You don't understand, Jim.

Oh, now listen, Lola.

If you're really that serious,
let's get married and...

Oh, no, Jim! No.

Oh, you changed your mind since
this morning. What's the matter?

Oh, it's different now.

It's gone beyond anything fleshy.

- This little baby...
- For the love of..

Lola, listen to me.

I, uh, I think if we
let him rest a while.

Yeah, sure. I wanna look
this joint over anyway.

I have a small gaming room
in the basement.

'I'm staying out of basements.
I was born in one.'

Oh. Ahem.

Along this wall

we have a few
of our ancestral portraits.

Is that the aunt, do you suppose?

- Just a minute, boys.
- How about it? Where is she?

Listen, you Navajos. I told you
there was nothing to it.

She laughed in my face.
Won't even discuss it.

Looks like the laugh's on you.
He drives for old lady Ward.

She's in there with another dame

talking to Lola Burns
about adopting a kid.

Oh-ho-ho, that. W-Well..

What's great news value
about anybody adoptin' a kid?

Why, to Burns, it's worth a column.

Maybe it's a role she had farmed
out for a while to cover up.

Say, why don't you take
the mud out of your...

- Hey, look who's here.
- Hey, Marquis?

- What do you know about a baby?
- How 'bout a statement?

Yes, what about American jails?

Answer nothing, Marquis.
They'll pay for a signed story later.

You look like
you're headed somewhere, Hugo.

I'm headed for Miss Burns
with my lawyer.

I shall then call upon
Mr. Brogan.

And later,
I shall come to see you.

- Oh.
- Well, listen, Marquis.

Brogan's in there,
saying goodbye to Lola.

You don't
want to bother them now.

Hah. Two birds with one stone!

Now, listen, you mugs.
Get it on this! This is a real yarn.

You got enough perch
in that birdcage of yours?

- Yeah.
- Well, go on, you Comanches.

This is Custer's last stand.

There you are! Were you planning
to go away with him?

How dare you break into my house?

'My lawyer has some information
that might interest you.'

'You get out of here immediately.'

I thought you were sealed up
for good.

I won't contaminate myself
much longer.

I just want to inform you
that I'm filing suit

for defamation of character
and the...

I've been annoyed
with your kisser long enough.

Jim, stop it!

Brogan, that'll cost you $5,000.

'Ah, it's worth ten!'

'Oh, you can do this in your house.'

Hey, Joe, get 'em out
in the light, will ya?

Here, Hedy, here.
What's happening? James!

My boy. Hugo! Brr.

This is outrageous!

It's pure vandalism!

I won't stand for this!

I'm gettin' sober, aren't you?

'I call you out for a duel!'

'We'll do it in the hospital!'

Hey, Hugo!

This is medieval! It's medieval!

Hugo, don't!

I don't know these people.
Really, I'm sorry, I..

Look out!

Look out!
You're stepping on Fanny!

Blimbo, go away.
Winters, get the dog!

Water, quick!
Loretta, water! Fanny!

They'll stop in a minute.
I, I gotta get some water.

Fanny!

Oh, dear!

Where's the fight?
Where's the fight?

I'm Lola Burns' brother.

Did you molls start this?

I don't blame ya, girls.

Not enough action.

Oh, Loretta!
Hurry up!

Well, stop it! Stop!

Stop it, I tell you, Jim. Don't!

You had enough?

I've given my ultimatum.

We'll see you in court,
Mr. Brogan.

Argh!

Dog! Dog!

This is the most disgraceful
disturbance, I've...

Oh, pops, oh, don't get so
excited. Remember your heart.

You're liable
to have the DTs again.

Oh, I, I'm perfectly
under control.

Perfectly!

Boys, never...

Where is Mrs. Ward and Ms..

All those reporters,
you did this! You, you...

Sugar, I tried to keep them out.

And that Marquis brought them
right in with him.

Well, please tell them not
to print anything. Please, baby!

I'll do my best, Lola.

Oh, where's Mrs. Ward
and Ms. Talley, Winters?

- The ladies, miss?
- Yes.

Oh, th-they left very hurriedly.

Oh. Oh, where? Where..

Oh, pops!

I-I-I..

You swallowed Fanny.

Oh, the ladies!

- 'Oh, boy! What a story!'
- I've gotta get to a telephone!

Now, listen, you illiterates,
play this up big

and we'll be on the front page
for a month.

She's got a fat chance
of adoptin' a kid now.

Why should she,
you think I want my bombshell

turned into a rubber nipple?
Now, get this, you Seminoles.

Get this in your lead. "Two
lovers brawl in Burns home."

You know, jealousy angle.
Primitive stuff. Stone Age.

Two savages fighting over a
gorgeous girl, mad with desire!

'Use some of the lines
you had in those pulp novels'

you've all been writin'
for a long time. Now, listen...

Oh, Ms. Burns,
how 'bout a statement?

I guess Mr. Hanlon can give you
all the filth you want!

Takin' it big?

Oh, gosh, don't take it
on the chin like that, Lola.

You know that was just a
follow-up on that Marquis story.

Right on time too.

Now they'll never
let me have a baby.

Oh, come on.

That's just somethin'
that you wanted this week.

You'll forget all about it next week.

You'll want another, uh,
another sheepdog or..

I got it.

Another Marquis, huh?

You never held a baby
in your arms, did ya?

A little baby that grabbed at ya

that somebody didn't want
and left in a basket someplace.

Oh, gosh, sugar. I..

I didn't know that it meant
that much to ya. Honest.

Oh, it was so cute
and soft, and..

He smelled so sweet.

The little soft spot
on top of his head

that hadn't closed up yet and
you had to be careful of.

Aw, I'm sorry.

I'd acted entirely differently
if I'd known.

Come on. You..

Aw, don't.

You make me feel like a worm.

You know, I'm..

You know, I..

I'm more than just like ya, Lola.

Oh, wait a moment, sugar, please.

Oh, leave me alone,
I don't know what I'm doing

or what I'm saying.

Oh, now, darling.
Don't get upset.

Just leave everything to me.

Oh, shut up!

I've left everything
to you long enough.

After all I've done
for my little girl..

Lola, you better get upstairs.

Well, are they whipping
you down, sister?

Oh, get away from me, all of you!

You're nothing but a pack of leeches.

- Leeches?
- Yes, leeches!

At least he was right
in one thing.

I don't know how I ever expected
to bring a baby in here.

With an old fool
for his grandfather

that's half-drunk all the time.

After the way I worked
to handle your affairs!

Oh, what about my affairs?
Where are they?

Why aren't my bills paid?
Where does my money go?

- I never see any of it.
- Lola, you're excited...

And what are you mewing about?

Don't think I don't know
about you and your stealing

and the cuts you get
from the stores.

Oh, listen, sis...

And you, who never haven't had a job
to your name for three years.

And bringing her in here

like it was a hotel
for traveling salesman.

I've only stood it
because it's the only home

and family I've got.
But I'm getting sick of it!

Do you understand?

There's only Loretta and the dogs
that ever do a single thing for me.

All the rest of you are just
out for what you can get!

And I'm getting pretty tired of being a
golden goose or whatever you call it.

- Attagirl, sugar...
- Don't "attagirl" me!

I never wanna see you again
as long as I breathe.

You're worse than
all the rest of them!

- Yeah, but, Lola...
- "Stone Age stuff!"

"Mad with desire!"
"Lovers brawl!"

Is that the way you prove
you just more than care for me?

Treating me like a strip act
in a burlesque show.

A glamorous bombshell, eh?

A glorified chump,
that's what I've been.

Well, I'm through!
Do you understand?

With the business!
With everybody!

You can get another "it" girl,
a "but" girl

or a "how", "when"
and "where" girl.

I'm clearing out!

And you can all stay here
in this half-paid-for car barn

and get somebody else
to pull the apple cart.

I'm going where ladies and
gentlemen hang their hats

and get some peace and quiet.

But, my daughter...

And if any of you try to
interfere with me, I'll..

I'll complain to the authorities!

- Oh, but..
- Now, let's..

Shh!

Well, as I was telling you...

I don't want to be told anything.

She's gone and she's got to be found!

New York sold this picture
for release on the 15th.

And if we don't finish it by...

By the end of the week,
the company breaks faith

with exhibitors
and loses a lot of dough.

But a contract's a contract.
She can't leave...

Leave you holding the bag
with $750,000

worth of useless negative?
I know all that, H.E.

And I don't blame you.
But don't worry.

She can't get very far
without being spotted.

There's a 110 million people
that know that face

and know that figure.

But incognito what if she's...

I'd know her in a diver's helmet.

Put Flaherty on here.

But if you knew she was upset
why didn't you stay with her?

My son and I had to attend

the breeders' convention
last night.

Keep quiet! What?

'No one gets heard
at headquarters.'

Are you sure you made
every effort to find her?

Every beat cop in the state
has been tipped off.

They're watching all the docks,
the railroads

the comfort stations
from here to Seattle.

It's been over 24 hours
since she disappeared.

She ought to have been in one of
those places in all that time.

- Telephone, Mr. Hanlon.
- Oh.

Hello? Yep. Hanlon talking.

If Lola thinks
she's not going to pay me

the rest of my commission,
she'll be...

You speak of money when
my only child has disappeared?

Only child? What do you think
I am, a chipmunk?

Tune off, will you? Yeah?

She is? When? Yeah? Yeah?

Okay. Boy, I'll see that you
get thanked proper for this.

Have they found her?
Tell me, have they found her?

Yes. You leave everything
to me, H.E.

This is a delicate filet mignon.

Too many cooks
will just make hash out of it.

But I have the right to know!

I'll call you just as soon
as I'm hot.

Didn't I bring her
back to you before?

That libidinous little leopard
can't change her spots on me

and get away with it. Ha-ha!

You leave everything to
Space Frank Buck Hanlon.

I'll bring her back alive.

And no scars.

- Good morning.
- Good morning, sir.

Hanlon's the name. Monarch.
Get my wire?

Yes, Mr. Hanlon.
You must've driven all night.

- Will you want breakfast?
- No, thanks.

I had it, uh, on the way down.

Your bungalow's right in back, sir.

Okay.

Thank you.

- Good morning, Miss Burns.
- Oh, good morning.

Do you know if they got
that horse I ordered...

Well, Lola.

Of all people.
Fancy meeting you here.

I might've known it.

Well, it's no use to even unpack
your luggage, Space Hanlon.

You can turn right around and go
back and tell Gillette I'm through.

Through forever.
Do you understand?

You're just chasing a wild goose.

Well, looking at those pants,
it's a temptation.

Listen.

I'm chasing nothing
but leisure myself.

Gillette fired me for good
and all this time

and no if's about it.

And so you come right down to
China and the South Seas?

It's the first stop.

What a coincidence
that I was here too.

Oh, wait a minute,
you aren't the only one

that knows about
Desert Springs, you know.

Besides, the desert is just
about the best place

that I know of
to get dramatically drunk.

I've got two suitcases there
full of high tone tonics

that's gonna make me forget I
ever saw the inside of a studio.

The need for Tahiti
and a blue lagoon

and chasing those
brown-skinned babies

through the bamboo bushes.

You know as much as I'd like to

I wouldn't even believe it
if I'd heard

you'd been eaten by a shark.

Boy, take those bags
to my bungalow, will you?

Yes, sir.

Breakfast, sir?
Right this way.

What'll it be, sir?

- Just, just toast and coffee.
- Yes, sir.

Hiya, Lola.

They just insist on throwing us
together, don't they?

Say, the, uh, Marquis and Brogan
certainly broke

into the headlines here. Huh.

Boy, what a story. Huh.

Well, every Napoleon
has his Waterloo.

"Marquis sues Brogan..."

I don't care to hear
anything about it.

Especially those columns
and columns of lies

about my disappearance.

Oh. Nothing much about you
in here at all.

- There isn't?
- No.

You're supposed to be at home
recovering from the shock.

I saw to that.

You know, I don't blame you
for liking it down here.

Lot of culture in this place.

I feel like a gentleman
myself already.

I'm afraid that's the nearest
you'll ever get to one.

Say, you know, Gillette's gonna
have an awful lot of

trouble casting that
"Alice In Wonderland"

now that you're gone.

As if Gillette ever thought
of me in connection

with "Alice In Wonderland."

Well, there's the item right there.
I released it myself on his own memo.

You were to do it next.

Finally got wised up to the
kind of parts you oughta play.

Well, it's too late now.

It's a swell part though,
I hear that, uh

Alice Cole was gonna do it.

Just because her name's Alice,
I suppose.

Oh, no, no, no.

She's the perfect
Janet Gaynor type.

You know, sweet and untouchable.

That empress of drama couldn't
possibly conceive Alice's part

on account of she hasn't
a bit of whimsy in her.

Imagine her sitting in that
pumpkin with those white mice.

What pumpkin?

I don't expect you
to know anything

as lovely and gentle
as that story.

The pumpkin drawn
by the six white mice

that Alice went to the ball in.

That wasn't Alice.
That was Cinderella.

- It was Alice.
- It was Cinderella.

- Alice!
- Cinderella!

- Didn't you..
- Ms. Burns.

- Yes?
- Your horse is here.

Don't keep the horse waiting.

Will you please see that
my maid's informed immediately?

- Yes, Ms. Burns. Yes?
- Oh, and, waiter?

I'll sit at a different table
at luncheon.

Yes, Ms. Burns.

- Waiter.
- Sir?

Where do they usually ride
around here?

Well, they generally ride
outWarm Springs way, sir.

'Oh, Ms. Lola!'

Yes?

- Can I stop for a minute?
- Alright.

Come on, Blimpo and Barko.

Guess we better drive back
pretty soon anyway

'cause I think I'm gonna get
all sunburnt out here.

Oh, isn't it beautiful
and quiet here?

- What's the matter?
- 'Oh, that's just Blimpo.'

Come away from there, boy.
That ain't no tree!

That's a cactus!

Hmm. Oh.

I found you, my darling wife.

You can't escape me like this.

- Help, Loretta!
- I love you!

I'll follow you to the end
of the world! Please!

- Help!
- 'Come home with me.

- 'Please, I love you!'
- 'Help me!'

- Don't you realize that?
- What's going on here?

That's not your wife.
She's mine.

I think he'll not come back.
Did he hurt you?

No, he-he's just some crazy man
that's been chasing me around.

- Hey, thank you so much.
- Not at all.

There seem to be a lot of odd
people in this part of the country.

Allow me.
I'm Gifford Middleton, Boston.

How-how-how do you do? Uh..

Hmm. Perhaps I'd better ride
with you a little way, huh?

That would be awfully nice
of you, if you would.

It'd be a very great pleasure.

Queer place, California.

Insane chaps running about
the desert and all that.

It's rather nerve-racking.

Not as bad as Hollywood though.

- You ever been up there?
- Oh, why, I, uh...

I stayed there about a week.

Then that movie crowd
began to get under my skin.

Dreadful people.

Don't you like the movies?

Oh, when I was a kid.

You couldn't drag me
into one now.

Oh.

By the way, you didn't
tell me what your name is.

- Uh, i-it's Lola Burns.
- Oh, that's a beautiful name.

It's very musical.

Didn't you ever hear it before?

I can't say I have.

But here riding along
as we are in the early morning

it seems to me
I've known you a long time.

Do you mind my saying that?

I-I think it's nice.

I'm down at the Desert Inn
for a couple days.

Father and mother
are going to join me

and then we're off
for a trip around the world.

Oh, that's what
I'm gonna do someday.

See all of those things
and go all those places.

People need change,
don't you think?

They certainly do.

Are-are you in business?

Oh, just looking after
the estate now.

Father is quite alone.

And then, well, I write
a little verse now and then.

I've had a couple volumes
published.

- Poetry, really?
- Mm-hmm.

I'm sure I've seen you somewhere.

Did you ever ride the Aiken Hunt?

Oh, no, I, uh, no.

Why, then I must've seen you
sculptured on a frieze.

You're like Diana
riding a Macedonian stallion.

You're some slim, lovely Amazon

riding proudly
in her captor's wake.

Or perhaps you're just
the most beautiful girl

I've ever seen.

Do you mind my saying
these things to you?

Oh, no, I..

No, I..

I-I love it.

Yes, sir?

Yes, sir. What?
Well, listen, H.E.

You just sit tight and I'll
have her back in no time.

Yeah, she fell pretty hard
for that

"Alice in Wonderland" gag
this mornin'. Ha-ha!

Uh, no, sir.
I haven't seen her since then.

Okay, I'll keep you posted.

'Isn't the moonlight beautiful?'

Today and tonight
will live forever in my heart.

Oh, it has been wonderful.

I'll lie awake all night,
on the pillow of its memory.

But you hardly know me.

I've known you in every ripple
of moonlight I've ever seen

in every symphony I've ever heard

in every perfume I've ever smelt.

- 'Gifford, that's lovely.'
- 'Your hair.'

Your hair is like a field
of silver daisies.

I'd like to run barefoot
through your hair.

'Gifford, I..'

You-you mustn't, Gifford.

Oh, Lola, my dearest.

Your mouth is like a gardenia
open to the sun.

- Your lips...
- Hiya, Lola!

H-how about a little game
of hot hand, huh?

Don't speak to him. He's drunk.

Oh, introduce me.

We'll all go in my little shack
here and gargle a little vodka.

Your presence is uncalled for.

Oh, pardon me.

I'll keep running around the
block until my number is flashed.

- I'm sorry, Gifford.
- Who is he?

I mean, he seems
to know your name.

Well, I might just as well
tell you now.

He's the publicity man
in the studio I worked for.

- Studio? I...
- Lola Burns is a movie star.

Everybody seems
to know that but you.

Oh!

I didn't mean
to hurt you, Gifford.

I won't even think of it.

And I'll never
think of it again either.

That's why I'm down here.
I've run away from all of it.

It was a life I was forced into
when I was too young

to know any better. Honestly.

But I'm through with it all now.

Poor, tired little flower.

Does-does it make
any difference, Gifford?

You're just an orchid that
dropped and bloomed in a swamp.

I'm going to take you away
from all that sham

and cheapness,
I'm going to transplant you.

We'll be married, dear heart,
and go together to utopia.

You mean 'round the world?

Around the universe, to the moon!

I'll put the ring of Saturn
on your finger.

We'll sleep on Venus

and the Milky Way
shall be our coverlet.

Oh!

Not even Norma Shearer
or Helen Hayes

in their nicest pictures
were ever spoken to like that.

My adored one.

This-this is my bungalow.

Lola, may I..

No, we mustn't spoil this.

Mother and father
will be here tomorrow, dear.

You shall meet them
and they'll know you

and love you as I adore you.

I better go now.

Goodnight.

Goodnight.

'Is that you, Ms. Lola?'

Yes, Loretta.

But don't talk to me, please.

Listen, Lola,
I just thought that perhaps..

'Oh-oh. Don't get sore.'

'I just wanted to talk to ya.
I'm, I'm lonely.'

I don't care to be annoyed
by a drunkard.

Say, who is this adagio dancer?

He's a-he's a little bit
upstage, isn't he?

His name happens to be
Gifford Middleton.

Does that mean anything to you?

Wait a minute, you don't..

You don't mean one of
the Middletons of Boston?

Yes and neither he nor I
are interested

in swilling liquor with you.

- Uh-uh-uh-uh!
- Get..

He's, um,
he's gone a little bit nuts

'about you, hasn't he?'

A gentleman, Mr. Hanlon

doesn't go nuts about anything.

Yeah? What's all
this about your hair

bein' like a field of daisies

and him runnin' barefoot
through it or somethin'?

Can't you find any better way
to pass your time

than spying on matters
that don't concern you?

He looks like an athlete,
I wouldn't want him

puttin' his foot in my scalp.

Get out of here or I'll call
the night watchman!

Do you mean to tell me
that that you've fallen

for all this guff?

I've been treated like a lady

for the first time in my life.

Don't kid yourself,
he's got ideas

just like all the rest of 'em.

He doesn't even think
of things like that.

Now wait a minute, Lola,
do you mean to tell me

that you're really serious
about this guy?

He's asked me to marry him.
Do you understand?

And I'm going to meet his mother
and father tomorrow.

And by the time you're lying
in some gutter where you belong

I'll be Mrs. Gifford Middleton

living in peace and quiet
among people who understand me.

And if you want to put
that in the paper

you've got my full permission
to do so!

Mother said they'd be out here
having tea.

I'm so nervous.

Do you think
they'll really like me?

How can they help it, darling?

- Oh, there they are.
- Where? Oh!

Wouldn't you two like to park here?

There's, uh, plenty of room.

Mother, this is she.

How do you do?

This is the greatest pleasure

of my life, Mrs. Middleton.

- And my father, dear.
- How do you do?

I-I'm trying to see

which one of you
Gifford takes after.

We like to think of him
as resembling both of us.

Why, that's natural, isn't it?

Uh, Gifford told us

that your father and brother
are in California.

Yes, father and brother
are in business here.

Oh.

- Business?
- Why, yes.

Father's really more
of a retired sportsman

but he's still interested in the
in the transportation business.

Of course, when Gifford told us

about you this morning

uh, we were naturally
very much surprised.

Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

A mother hates to lose her boy.

Oh, we can all live together.
I'm used to that.

I don't understand.

I mean, my family's
always lived with me.

Of course, that's one
of the first things.

We must meet your family
before we...

Yes, yes. We're a little zealous
about the Middleton stock.

Carrying on of the name.

I'm afraid that's something
that was born in us.

Miss Burns, your father
and brother are in the lobby.

- You mean here?
- Splendid.

Send them out here.
What a fortunate coincidence.

We can now discuss
the whole matter together.

No, wait.
I-I'll go get them.

- Shall I?
- Oh, no, Gifford, I..

I'll be right back.

Daughter! Daughter!
What a nightmare!

Leaving us this way
with bitterness in your heart.

And no money.

But how did you find out
I was down here?

And why didn't you
go to my hotel?

Well, a guy phoned us this morning.

He wouldn't leave his name, so we took
a chance on anything, didn't we, Pop?

Yes. Gillette is up in arms.
You've a contract.

He says you won't be able to work

in another studio in Hollywood.

I'm happy to announce
that I'll never have to

work in another studio again.

On account of
I'm going to be married.

- Married?
- Who to?

He's Gifford Middleton
from a fine old Boston family.

And he and his mother and
father are out there now.

And they want to
meet you. So, please...

But, Lola, marriage is
a serious business.

You.. Are you sure you...

Surer than I've ever been sure
of anything in my life.

Now, pops, please be nice.
And don't make any breaks.

You know you can be a gentleman
when you want to be.

Naturally.

And don't tell
any of your jokes, Junior.

Because the Middletons
are very conservative people.

Now, come on.

- Moneyed people, I suppose.
- Why, naturally pops.

- They're very refined.
- Ha-ha!

I'll be delighted.

Oh.

This is my father and my
brother, Mr. and Mrs. Middleton.

Uh, it's a great pleasure, sir.

Quite so.

- Madame, it's an honor.
- How do you do?

- How are ya?
- 'And this is Gifford.'

Oh, my boy, my boy!

- How do you do, sir?
- How are ya?

A thoroughbred.

I can see that, fine head

eyes wide apart. Ha-ha!

So, you're taking the only
jewel in my crown, eh?

Well, my boy, I'd...

Father, why don't you sit down?

Ah, here.. Here.

I presume this was
as much of a surprise to you

as it was to me, huh?

- Yes.
- Or more.

I guess we oldsters can't keep
the pace, eh, Mrs. Middleton?

Things move faster than when you
and your husband got together.

And, yet, father came down here

the minute he heard about it.

I knew a Burns at Harvard.

George Burns. Class of '98.
Any relation?

Uh..

Uh, no.

Uh, that was the New England
branch of the family. Ha-ha.

Great college, Harvard.
Heh-heh.

My tutor used to say to me

when we were going
through Europe...

Pop, won't you have some tea?

Maybe the folks would like
a little dramola?

Pop, you got something
on the saddle, haven't you?

Yeah! How about a little
libation? Huh, Mister..

No, I thank you.

I don't suppose madam-am would..

- No.
- That's just father's way.

Gifford, my boy?

Gifford never touches alcohol.

- Oh.
- You don't use it, eh?

- No.
- Ha-ha!

You know, Giffie.
You know, I like ya.

And when I like a fella,
I like him.

It comes straight
from the shoulder.

Do you know you're gettin'
a great piece of goods in sis.

She's a corker. She's all
wool and flat on the table.

Miss Burns,
can I have your autograph?

Oh, no. Please.

Miss Burns is through
with all that.

Oh, please, Miss Burns.
I'm leaving today.

Oh, just this once, Gifford.
Please.

Alright.

Oh, thanks, Miss Burns. That's
for our Lola Burns Club at home.

There you are, dear.

- 'Oh, mommy, look.'
- The Lola Burns Club?

What a forward child.

What on Earth did she
want your autograph for?

Gifford, didn't,
didn't you tell them?

- Why, not yet. I...
- 'Tell us?'

'What?'

That, that I've been in pictures.

That, that movie star?

Not the Lola Burns that we've
been reading about in the...

Yes, that's right. But you see,
I can explain all of that...

'Gifford, have you read
the papers recently?'

I haven't seen a paper
since I've been here. Why?

Lyndon,
I'm feeling suddenly faint.

- Ah, dear.
- Please take me to my room.

Pardon me. Pardon me.

Uh, Mrs. Middleton, please...

You'll excuse me, I'm sure.

- But, Mrs. Middleton...
- Lola, let me handle this.

Oh, but you've got to
make her realize...

Now, you go to your room
and wait for me to phone.

I'll smooth everything over.

I know father and mother
better than you, dear.

Oh, please make them
understand, won't you?

Certainly, darling.

- Hey, something we said?
- No..

No, you didn't
mean anything, pop.

Come on. Let's go back
to my hotel and wait.

Gifford was right.
He can handle everything.

Yes. Certainly, daughter.

Listen, Lola, I saw him give you the
high and mighty chill over there.

And if there is anything
I can do, I..

You know, I was a little tight
last night and..

If you're really in love with
this guy, why, I'd be only...

Just never speak to me again!

Gifford didn't say whether that

little difficulty
had been all ironed out.

No, he just said to come over
right away. Oh, here it is. 92.

I'm tellin' you, Mr. and Mrs.
Middleton, that's the way it...

What have you been telling them?

Mrs. Middleton,
don't believe a word he says.

- I most assuredly don't.
- You see?

You see what it is when you come up
against decent respectable people?

Now, wait a minute. You don't get it.
I'm on your side.

I've been trying to tell them

that all that publicity
was my fault.

Of course, I don't agree with
you about your boyfriend here.

But I don't see the percentage
in your taking it on the chin

if it's going to interfere
with your happiness.

Reputable newspapers can't be
hoaxed as easily as all that.

And where there's smoke,
there's fire.

Oh, but it's all true,
Mrs. Middleton.

He was discharged for it.
Weren't you, Space?

Why, sure. Don't you see,
Mrs. Middleton?

The girl must be okay
to have a termite like myself

trying to bore holes
in her character

and still be the idol
of a 110 million people.

A public character.
Displaying what...

All you need to do is explain

that you were responsible
for all of those stories.

If it's pictures that are worrying you
Mrs. Middleton, I'm out of them. I'm s...

No, no, it isn't only pictures.

The Middleton name
has to be considered.

Our bloodline
dates back to Bunker Hill.

I'll have you know, sir

that one of my ancestors

stood with Christopher Columbus

on the poop deck
of the Mayflower!

Gifford, what do you say?

- What can I say?
- You, you mean..

I think it best to forget
the whole thing, don't you?

Are you forgetting all those
beautiful things you said to me?

"Lovers brawl
in Lola Burns' home."

I guess that sort of line
suits you.

I'm afraid
I've been rather a chump.

You mean you're going to stand
by your father and mother?

Certainly.

I've done very well so far

in abiding by their wishes.

Gifford, you see, is a Middleton.

Gifford's a sap!
That's what Gifford is!

I'd give him away
with a spray of horseradish.

I wouldn't be caught dead
with him in a duck boat.

And if you're a lady
and they're gentleman

I'm Amy Fibber McCutton
on a raft.

You can take your Bostons
and your Bunker Hills

and your bloodlines
and stuff a codfish with 'em!

And then you know what you can
do with the codfish!

- Oh, come on, pops!
- Ahem!

Come, daughter.
Get in the car.

We're well rid of scum like that.

Say, sis. Shall I go back
and bust 'em in the bugle?

- Yeah.
- Oh, bro, pops..

Please leave me alone
for a minute.

Gee, sugar, I'm sorry.
Really I am.

Hello, Space. Thanks.

- Thanks for standing up for me.
- Oh, what the heck?

I'm just trying to make 'em
see daylight, that's all.

They can live in a tomb
for the rest of their lives

for all I care.

Imagine that dopey baked bean

wanted to put his feet
in my hair!

Oh, well.

Everything would've been alright

if your old man and brother
hadn't showed up.

You know, after all,
they're a little thick.

What's the matter
with pops and Junior?

They didn't do anything.

They're just natural
ordinary people, that's all.

Well, I guess
it's really pictures, Lola.

You know, it kinda puts a tag on
you with society and all that.

What's wrong with pictures?

It's perfectly honest work,
isn't it?

It's more work
than those clinkers ever did.

Is it any disgrace
entertaining people?

Making 'em laugh
and making 'em cry?

Not like I'm cryin' now, but
try to get some fun out of it.

Oh, well, you're through
with pictures anyway.

And there's a lot more people
just as good as the Middletons

who are a little bit
more, you know, broad-minded.

I don't want to know
any more people like them.

Oh. What are you gonna do
with yourself?

I don't know, Space.

I'm so miserable!

I bet old man Gillette's
full of grief.

And he's got it comin' to him, too

after the way he mismanaged you.

I never had anything personal
against Mr. Gillette.

He was always lovely to me.

I'll bet those stockholders'll
have plenty against him

when they look at that loss
on your unfinished picture.

Aw, he was a gyp anyway.

Mr. Gillette's a very nice man.

And it isn't his fault that I...

Oh, what do you care?
It's not your funeral.

- Let him burn your fan mail...
- They can't burn my fan mail.

Those people are my friends.

Why, they sent me presents

and wrote me all their troubles.

Oh, well, the fans'll pick on
somebody else to write to.

Even Alice Cole.

I'll bet they'll be
forming Alice Cole clubs

in Hindustan this time next year.

What's up? Why the hurry?

Nobody's gonna burn my fan mail

and nobody's gonna blame
Mr. Gillette

for somethin' he didn't do.

Get in. We're gonna pack up
and get outta here!

'But, daughter,
where are we going?'

'Back to the studio.'

Alright, you Ransacks!
It worked like a Tiffany watch.

The little lady has gone back
on the rollercoaster

and screaming happily
on all the turns.

Here's the final payment
and you're my favorite

character actors for all time.

Thank you. Well,
rather undignified, of course.

And we wouldn't have considered it
if we hadn't had a rotten season.

Yeah, I know. Here you are, Joe.
It was great work.

I couldn't have written
better dialogue myself.

Hey, listen. Not a word
about this performance.

I'll never get a job in pictures.

Just between
the little old quartet here.

What we really want, Mr. Hanlon

is a chance in pictures.

Oh, it's a cinch.
You're all set.

I'll leave word tomorrow.
Ben Berand, our casting director.

And you'll all be working
in a week.

Well, I can't understand

why Lewis Stone
gets all these parts.

I've always been compared
to Alice Brady.

Yes, yes, I know.

You know, everybody thought
I was Jackie Cooper

until Greta Garbo took me
on her lap one day. Ha-ha!

Well, uh, I'll be seein' ya.

And then he said,
"Why, you little spit..."

Never mind that, Loretta.
That's tomorrow's work.

Look, I know
everything for today.

Hey, greasepaint. Is she about
ready? The cars are comin' up.

Oh, they're hurrying, Broph.

We're on the back lot
this morning.

Gee, it's great
to see ya back, Lola.

Oh, it's marvelous
to be back, Broph.

You know, everybody's been
so sweet to me.

Hey, did you see the
flowers from Gillette?

You know,
everybody is so thoughtful.. Ow!

Sorry, dear.
I'm just hurrying.

Well, I'm working here as long
as you're here, Lola.

And when you quit,
Broph joins the gypsies.

- Mac. Hey, Mac?
- 'Yes, Lola?'

Did you call Desert Springs?

Yes, but they said Mr. Hanlon

checked out last night.

Oh, gee.

- Say, Monty?
- Yeah.

Where does the boat sail
from to Tahiti?

Well, we took an old tub
from San Pedro

when we did White Shadows
down there. Why?

Oh, nothing.

The car is here, Lola.
Let's go.

- I'm through.
- Okay.

I'm ready.

Hey, Loretta,
get my hat on account of

I wear it in the scene.

- Yes, ma'am.
- Ha-ha! Well, daughter...

Lola, before you go,
the new contracts..

I have a neat little
sports job outside..

Say, sis, why can't
I have that roadster?

Mac, look, try calling up
the steamship line

at San Pedro, will you?

Monty tells me that the boat
sails from there to Tahiti.

'And maybe Space's name's
on the passenger list.'

'I can't let him go off
like this without seeing him.'

I-I've just got to..

But, Space? You're here.

Well, I'll be darned.

What.. What is it, Space?

Would you really
want me to go to Tahiti?

Well, I..
I just wanted to say goodbye.

Do you wanna say it now?

- Space? I don't know, I..
- What?

Gee, I never thought
we'd come to this.

- What?
- This.

'I knew I should hate
that cussed contract.'

'I tell you we can't dress
in those dressing rooms.'

Why, even on our last
Orpheum tour

we were treated better than this.

I just finished doing idiotic
antics for this company.

'Okay, missus, you can have
these dressing rooms'

'right up here.'

I'll paste three stars
on the door.

Frankie,
who are those people in there?

Oh, I don't know, Ms. Burns.
Three legit hams.

Just come from playin'
that haylofts in the corn belt.

They get upstage the minute
they get in the studio.

Casting has the front office already
using 'em in the new Barrymore picture.

Mm-hm..

You know them? Do you..

- Lola, honey.
- Why, what's wrong, daughter?

You dirty double-crossing...

Come on, Lola,
we're two minutes over already.

I'm coming.

And never speak to me again!

Why, eh..
Who, eh.. Well..

Now, there.. Lola, baby girl.

- Wait just a minute, will ya?
- Yeah, uh, daugh..

Lola. Now, listen, sugar.
Stop it, will ya?

Please, I love you.

Wait till I get in there
and you can put 'em all down.

- Ah!
- Oh.

Did the little baby
hurt her little hand?

- Stay.
- Aw, that's a sweet..

I found you, my loving wife..

Oh, hello, Mr. Hanlon.
I didn't know it was you.

How am I doin'?

Oh! You did that...

Now, listen. darling.
It was all publicity!

Argh, get out!
I won't. No!