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1
00:00:03,086 --> 00:00:06,964
No, see, the liquid-metal terminators
were created in the future by Skynet...
2
00:00:07,132 --> 00:00:09,216
...and Skynet was developed
by Miles Dyson...
3
00:00:09,384 --> 00:00:13,345
...but that future no longer exists
due to Dyson's death in Terminator 2.
4
00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:16,098
Okay, then riddle me this.
5
00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:17,933
Assuming all the good terminators...
6
00:00:18,101 --> 00:00:20,728
...were originally evil terminators
created by Skynet...
7
00:00:20,895 --> 00:00:23,939
...then reprogrammed by the future
John Connor, why would Skynet...
8
00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:26,025
...an artificial computer intelligence...
9
00:00:26,192 --> 00:00:30,404
...bother to create
a petite, hot, 17-year-old killer robot?
10
00:00:32,282 --> 00:00:34,366
Skynet is kinky? I don't know.
11
00:00:35,368 --> 00:00:38,912
Artificial intelligences
do not have teen fetishes.
12
00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:42,124
- All right, wait. They use it to lure...
- Eh! Too late, I win.
13
00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:45,335
[PENNY SINGING "OUT TONIGHT"]
14
00:00:45,503 --> 00:00:48,964
Let's go out tonight
15
00:00:51,634 --> 00:00:56,930
I have to go out tonight
16
00:00:57,807 --> 00:00:59,767
What the hell is that?
17
00:01:00,643 --> 00:01:03,854
I don't know. But if cats could sing...
18
00:01:04,022 --> 00:01:05,731
...they'd hate it too.
19
00:01:11,112 --> 00:01:12,321
PENNY [SINGING]:
You wanna prowl
20
00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:15,407
Be my night owl?
Well, take my...
21
00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:16,700
Hey, guys.
22
00:01:16,868 --> 00:01:19,078
- Hi, where are you going?
- What?
23
00:01:19,245 --> 00:01:22,664
We just had to mail some letters.
24
00:01:22,832 --> 00:01:26,001
And throw away some chicken.
25
00:01:43,353 --> 00:01:45,270
You'll never guess what just happened.
26
00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:46,897
- I give up.
- I don't guess.
27
00:01:47,065 --> 00:01:50,692
As a scientist, I reach conclusions
based on observation and experimentation.
28
00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:55,155
Although it occurs to me, you may
have been employing a rhetorical device...
29
00:01:55,323 --> 00:01:57,199
...rendering my response moot.
30
00:01:58,201 --> 00:02:01,411
- What was that?
- Believe it or not, personal growth.
31
00:02:01,579 --> 00:02:02,621
What happened?
32
00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:06,917
Remember when I auditioned for Rent but
I didn't get it and I couldn't figure out why?
33
00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:09,086
I have a conclusion
based on an observation.
34
00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:10,295
No, you don't.
35
00:02:10,463 --> 00:02:11,755
No, he doesn't.
36
00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:15,843
The girl picked to play Mimi, she dropped
out and they asked me to replace her.
37
00:02:16,010 --> 00:02:18,804
- Oh! Congratulations, what a lucky break.
- It's not a big deal.
38
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:21,723
Just one night,
but they invite casting people and agents.
39
00:02:21,891 --> 00:02:22,933
So you never know.
40
00:02:23,101 --> 00:02:25,561
- I think I know.
- No, you don't.
41
00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:29,189
- He doesn't.
- It's this Friday at 8, you guys wanna come?
42
00:02:29,357 --> 00:02:30,524
- No.
- No.
43
00:02:32,193 --> 00:02:37,072
Because Friday,
we are attending a symposium...
44
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:38,824
...on molecular positronium.
45
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:42,119
- I think that's a week from Tuesday at 6.
- No, it's this Friday.
46
00:02:42,704 --> 00:02:45,414
- At 8.
- Oh, too bad.
47
00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:47,875
- I gotta get to rehearsal. See you guys.
- See you.
48
00:02:48,126 --> 00:02:53,255
PENNY [SINGING]:
Let's go out tonight
49
00:02:53,798 --> 00:02:55,924
- You just lied to Penny.
- Yes, I did.
50
00:02:56,092 --> 00:02:57,426
And you did it so casually.
51
00:02:57,594 --> 00:03:00,554
No rapid breathing,
no increase in perspiration.
52
00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:02,931
- So?
- So lack of a physiological response...
53
00:03:03,099 --> 00:03:06,935
...while lying
is characteristic of a violent sociopath.
54
00:03:07,103 --> 00:03:09,396
Sheldon, are you worried
about your safety?
55
00:03:09,564 --> 00:03:13,692
No. I imagine if you were going to kill me,
you'd have done it a long time ago.
56
00:03:14,110 --> 00:03:16,278
That's very true.
57
00:04:02,825 --> 00:04:04,076
Leonard?
58
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,494
Leonard?
59
00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:07,704
- Leonard?
LEONARD: What?
60
00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:11,416
I need to speak to you.
61
00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:13,919
- It's 2:00 in the morning.
- It's important.
62
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:16,672
I highly doubt that.
63
00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:18,840
Go away.
64
00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:24,805
Are you still out there?
65
00:04:25,431 --> 00:04:27,015
Yes.
66
00:04:28,810 --> 00:04:30,435
What?
67
00:04:31,312 --> 00:04:33,814
You're right, it can wait until morning.
68
00:04:35,858 --> 00:04:38,026
LEONARD: What, what, what?
- Never mind.
69
00:04:38,194 --> 00:04:40,737
I clearly woke you up
in the middle of a REM cycle.
70
00:04:40,905 --> 00:04:44,324
- You're in no state of mind to talk.
- Sheldon, what is it?
71
00:04:45,868 --> 00:04:48,996
I'm uncomfortable
having been included in your lie to Penny.
72
00:04:49,580 --> 00:04:52,791
- What was I supposed to say?
- You could have told her the truth.
73
00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:54,584
That would have hurt her feelings.
74
00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:57,671
Is that a relevant factor?
75
00:04:57,839 --> 00:04:59,047
Yes.
76
00:04:59,215 --> 00:05:01,258
Then I suppose
you could have agreed to go.
77
00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:03,927
And what would I have said afterwards?
78
00:05:04,095 --> 00:05:06,179
I would suggest something
to the effect of:
79
00:05:06,347 --> 00:05:09,725
"Singing is neither an appropriate vocation
nor avocation for you...
80
00:05:09,892 --> 00:05:13,103
...and if you disagree, I recommend
a CAT scan to look for a tumor...
81
00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:16,815
...pressing on the cognitive
processing centers of your brain."
82
00:05:18,109 --> 00:05:19,234
I couldn't say that.
83
00:05:19,402 --> 00:05:23,697
I would have to say, "You were terrific
and I can't wait to hear you sing again."
84
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,033
Why?
85
00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:27,993
It's the social protocol.
86
00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,202
It's what you do...
87
00:05:29,370 --> 00:05:32,748
...when you have a friend who's proud
of something they really suck at.
88
00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:35,208
I was not aware of that.
89
00:05:35,376 --> 00:05:37,961
- Well, now you are.
- Oh, all right.
90
00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:39,629
- Leonard?
- Yes?
91
00:05:39,797 --> 00:05:43,675
When we played chess earlier, you were
terrific, and I can't wait to play you again.
92
00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:45,385
Good night.
93
00:05:48,639 --> 00:05:49,681
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
94
00:05:49,849 --> 00:05:51,433
SHELDON:
Leonard? Leonard?
95
00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:53,977
Leonard? Leonard?
96
00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:57,356
This would be so much easier
if I were a violent sociopath.
97
00:05:57,523 --> 00:05:59,941
Leonard? Leonard?
98
00:06:01,152 --> 00:06:03,487
- What?
- I was analyzing our lie...
99
00:06:03,654 --> 00:06:06,740
...and I believe we're in danger
of Penny seeing through the ruse.
100
00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:09,117
- How?
- Simple.
101
00:06:09,285 --> 00:06:14,456
If she were to log on to www.
socalphysicsgroup.org/activities/other...
102
00:06:14,624 --> 00:06:18,168
...click on upcoming events, scroll to
seminars, download the PDF schedule...
103
00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:21,129
...and look for the seminar
on molecular positronium, then...
104
00:06:21,297 --> 00:06:25,008
...bippity boppity boo,
our pants are metaphorically on fire.
105
00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:33,058
Well, sir, my trousers
will not be igniting today.
106
00:06:35,561 --> 00:06:36,770
Penny?
107
00:06:36,938 --> 00:06:38,146
Penny?
108
00:06:38,314 --> 00:06:39,940
Penny?
109
00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:41,650
Good morning.
110
00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:44,528
- Do you have any idea what time it is?
- Of course I do.
111
00:06:44,695 --> 00:06:48,490
My watch is linked to the atomic clock
in Boulder, Colorado.
112
00:06:48,658 --> 00:06:51,118
It's accurate to one-tenth of a second.
113
00:06:51,285 --> 00:06:53,495
As I'm saying this
it occurs to me once again...
114
00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:56,206
...your question may
have been rhetorical.
115
00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:57,833
What do you want?
116
00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,293
Remember how Leonard told you
we couldn't come...
117
00:07:00,461 --> 00:07:03,964
...because we were attending a symposium
on molecular positronium?
118
00:07:05,633 --> 00:07:08,343
I remember symposium.
119
00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:11,471
Yes, well, he lied.
120
00:07:12,181 --> 00:07:13,723
Wait, what?
121
00:07:13,891 --> 00:07:17,185
He lied, and I'm feeling
very uncomfortable about it.
122
00:07:17,353 --> 00:07:19,396
Well, imagine how I'm feeling.
123
00:07:20,857 --> 00:07:22,149
Hungry?
124
00:07:23,651 --> 00:07:25,444
Tired?
125
00:07:25,611 --> 00:07:28,321
I'm sorry, this really isn't my strong suit.
126
00:07:28,990 --> 00:07:30,365
You told her I lied?
127
00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:32,367
Why would you tell her I lied?
128
00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:34,870
To help you.
129
00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:37,372
I'm sorry, I'm not seeing the help.
130
00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:39,875
She was going to see
through your lie eventually...
131
00:07:40,042 --> 00:07:42,502
...so I told her that you were lying
to protect me.
132
00:07:42,670 --> 00:07:43,753
[LEONARD GROANS]
133
00:07:43,921 --> 00:07:46,506
Oh, I'm getting a bad feeling.
134
00:07:46,674 --> 00:07:48,383
Hunger?
135
00:07:49,218 --> 00:07:50,218
Indigestion?
136
00:07:50,386 --> 00:07:52,512
I'm sorry,
I'm really not very good at this.
137
00:07:52,930 --> 00:07:55,640
Anyway, Penny now believes
that on Friday night...
138
00:07:55,808 --> 00:08:00,479
...we're going to participate
in my cousin Leopold's drug intervention.
139
00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:02,647
Your cousin Leopold.
140
00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:05,358
Whom most people call Leo,
but he also answers to Lee.
141
00:08:05,526 --> 00:08:06,943
Remember that, it's important.
142
00:08:07,403 --> 00:08:09,488
- What's important?
- Details, Leonard.
143
00:08:09,655 --> 00:08:13,825
The success or failure
of our deceitful enterprise turns on details.
144
00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:17,537
- Do you have a cousin Leopold?
- No, I made him up.
145
00:08:18,247 --> 00:08:20,707
I think you'd call him Lee.
146
00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:25,545
I don't get it. I already told her a lie,
why replace it with a different lie?
147
00:08:25,713 --> 00:08:28,507
Well, first of all,
your lie was laughably transparent...
148
00:08:28,674 --> 00:08:31,092
...where mine is exquisitely convoluted.
149
00:08:32,303 --> 00:08:36,806
While you were sleeping,
I was weaving an un-unravelable web.
150
00:08:36,974 --> 00:08:39,392
- Un-unravelable?
- Yes.
151
00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:42,479
If she Googles Leopold Houston,
she'll find a Facebook page...
152
00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:45,232
...an online blog
depicting his descent into drug use...
153
00:08:45,399 --> 00:08:49,110
...and a desperate
yet hopeful listing on eHarmony.com.
154
00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:53,782
Okay, why would I go
to a drug intervention for your cousin?
155
00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:57,160
Ah! Because it's in Long Beach
and I don't drive.
156
00:08:58,579 --> 00:08:59,788
We're going to Long Beach?
157
00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:02,791
Of course not, there's no cousin Leo,
there's no intervention.
158
00:09:02,959 --> 00:09:05,585
- Focus, Leonard.
- Oh, come on.
159
00:09:06,462 --> 00:09:09,756
We just leave the house on Friday night
and return in the wee hours...
160
00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:13,677
...emotionally wrung out from the work
of convincing Leo to go back into rehab.
161
00:09:13,844 --> 00:09:15,345
So he goes back into rehab?
162
00:09:15,513 --> 00:09:20,767
Yes, but he can relapse if Penny
ever invites us to hear her sing again.
163
00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:23,812
You still told her I lied.
164
00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:25,272
Yeah, for a noble purpose.
165
00:09:25,439 --> 00:09:29,192
To spare me the social embarrassment
of having a drug-addled first cousin.
166
00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:32,112
- Which I'm assuming is embarrassing, yes?
- I don't know.
167
00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:37,450
- How am I supposed to remember all this?
- That's the best part, you don't have to.
168
00:09:37,618 --> 00:09:41,621
I told Penny that you would be embarrassed
if you knew she found out you had lied...
169
00:09:41,789 --> 00:09:45,667
...so she's agreed to operate
as if the original lie is still in force.
170
00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:53,300
So she's expecting me to lie
about going to a symposium in Pasadena...
171
00:09:53,467 --> 00:09:58,471
...when in actuality, we're pretending to go
to a drug intervention in Long Beach.
172
00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:00,473
Un-unravelable.
173
00:10:05,521 --> 00:10:08,315
Oh, hey, Penny. Wow, look at you,
all ready for your showcase.
174
00:10:08,482 --> 00:10:09,983
- You look great.
PENNY: Thanks.
175
00:10:10,151 --> 00:10:14,321
I just wanted to come by and wish you
guys luck with your symposium.
176
00:10:15,072 --> 00:10:16,364
LEONARD:
Oh.
177
00:10:16,532 --> 00:10:18,992
- Well, thank you.
- You know, I gotta tell you.
178
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:22,370
A lot of friends would let their friend
go alone, but that's not you.
179
00:10:22,538 --> 00:10:26,249
You are the kind of guy
who stands by a friend when...
180
00:10:26,417 --> 00:10:29,336
When he has a symposium to go to.
181
00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:34,716
I don't know what to say.
182
00:10:35,426 --> 00:10:38,803
- It's okay, Leonard.
- Oh, okay, all right, good.
183
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,139
- Oh, boy, group hug.
- Uh-uh.
184
00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:45,268
- Uh-uh?
- Okay. So, what's up?
185
00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:49,564
Well, Penny is on her way to perform in
a one-night showcase production of Rent...
186
00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:53,026
...which we are unable to attend,
because we're going to a symposium...
187
00:10:53,194 --> 00:10:57,572
...on molecular positronium
given by Dr. Emil Farmanfarmian.
188
00:10:57,740 --> 00:11:02,243
Wait a minute, Farmanfarmian is speaking
and you're bogarting the symposium?
189
00:11:02,453 --> 00:11:05,914
- Howard, I'm sorry, we would've...
- No, no, you're quark-blocking us.
190
00:11:08,209 --> 00:11:10,418
I don't know what to say.
191
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:11,961
Wow.
192
00:11:12,129 --> 00:11:14,089
- Howard...
- It's your Millennium Falcon...
193
00:11:14,256 --> 00:11:17,092
...you and Chewbacca do
whatever you wanna do.
194
00:11:18,427 --> 00:11:21,930
Me and Princess Leia here will find
some other way to spend the evening.
195
00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:23,765
Howard, wait.
196
00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:26,976
Sheldon, I think we should tell them.
197
00:11:28,145 --> 00:11:29,479
Okay, sure.
198
00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:31,231
I don't see a problem with that.
199
00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:34,567
There's no symposium.
200
00:11:34,735 --> 00:11:36,820
Leonard lied to me.
Isn't that right, Leonard?
201
00:11:36,987 --> 00:11:38,488
Well...
202
00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:42,659
- I don't know what to say.
- It's okay, I do.
203
00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:45,453
Look, Leonard is helping Sheldon
through a family crisis.
204
00:11:45,621 --> 00:11:50,291
He made up the whole story about
the symposium with Dr. Farmanfarmian...
205
00:11:50,459 --> 00:11:51,501
- Good for you.
- Ha! Yeah.
206
00:11:53,212 --> 00:11:57,090
He didn't want Sheldon to be embarrassed.
There's nothing to be embarrassed about.
207
00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:59,175
Every family in America has a relative...
208
00:11:59,343 --> 00:12:02,470
...holed up in a garage somewhere
huffing paint thinner.
209
00:12:03,180 --> 00:12:06,099
No, I'm lost too.
I think she skipped a step.
210
00:12:06,892 --> 00:12:11,312
Now, look, Sheldon's cousin Leo escaped
rehab and he's in a Motel 8 in Long Beach.
211
00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:13,732
The whole family's going out
for an intervention.
212
00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:16,609
Leonard is driving Sheldon down
to help him through this...
213
00:12:16,777 --> 00:12:20,613
- ...because he's such a good man.
- Oh, another hug? Thank you.
214
00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:24,576
- All right, you guys. Good luck.
- Thanks, Penny.
215
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:26,494
- Break a leg.
- Yeah, break a leg.
216
00:12:28,038 --> 00:12:29,456
So road trip to Long Beach.
217
00:12:29,623 --> 00:12:32,000
- We're not going to Long Beach.
- Why not?
218
00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:35,211
Because Sheldon doesn't have
a drug-addicted cousin Leopold.
219
00:12:35,379 --> 00:12:37,172
Oh, too bad.
220
00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:40,175
I've always wanted to go to Long Beach.
221
00:12:40,342 --> 00:12:43,136
It's a very nice community.
The Queen Mary is docked there.
222
00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:46,681
Once the largest liner in the world,
it's now a hotel and restaurant...
223
00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:49,851
...where they host a surprisingly gripping
murder-mystery dinner.
224
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:51,811
- Sounds fun.
- I'm game.
225
00:12:51,979 --> 00:12:54,189
- Shotgun.
- No, no, no.
226
00:12:54,899 --> 00:12:58,318
Leonard gets nauseous unless
he sits in front, and even then it's iffy.
227
00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:03,531
Wait, are we really going to Long Beach?
228
00:13:09,163 --> 00:13:10,205
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
229
00:13:10,372 --> 00:13:13,249
SHELDON:
Leonard? Leonard? Leonard?
230
00:13:13,417 --> 00:13:15,084
Let it go, Sheldon.
231
00:13:15,252 --> 00:13:18,546
The murderer was the first mate
whether it makes sense to you or not.
232
00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:21,716
No, that's the least of our worries.
233
00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:23,718
I've been doing research on addiction...
234
00:13:23,886 --> 00:13:26,054
...both the biochemical
and behavioral aspects...
235
00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:29,432
...and I think there's a problem
with the current version of our lie.
236
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:32,560
What are you talking about?
It's fine, she bought it, it's over.
237
00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:38,691
Sadly, it's not.
238
00:13:38,859 --> 00:13:40,735
Substance abuse is a lifelong struggle.
239
00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:43,446
But beyond that,
I have realized the Leo I described...
240
00:13:43,614 --> 00:13:47,367
- ...would not have agreed to go to rehab.
- Why not?
241
00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:48,952
Because Leo's a middle child.
242
00:13:49,745 --> 00:13:53,039
There's no Leo. How can you say that?
243
00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:58,753
You didn't read the bio, did you?
244
00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:02,006
He's not just a middle child,
he is the quintessential middle child.
245
00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:04,884
From a broken home, to boot.
Psychologically speaking...
246
00:14:05,052 --> 00:14:08,471
...the attention he gets by rebelling,
even to the point of destruction...
247
00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:11,599
...is more emotionally valuable
than help he would get at rehab.
248
00:14:11,767 --> 00:14:13,643
- I've got a solution.
- Great. What is it?
249
00:14:13,811 --> 00:14:16,104
Get out.
250
00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:18,439
Fine.
251
00:14:24,363 --> 00:14:25,989
I've hesitated to point this out...
252
00:14:26,156 --> 00:14:28,616
...but I must remind you
we are in our predicament...
253
00:14:28,784 --> 00:14:31,077
...because of your initial
and inadequate deceit.
254
00:14:31,245 --> 00:14:33,288
I'm just trying to clean up
after your mess.
255
00:14:37,626 --> 00:14:39,544
SHELDON:
We'll talk in the morning.
256
00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:53,683
Morning.
257
00:14:54,268 --> 00:14:55,643
Who are you?
258
00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:58,021
I am Sheldon's cousin Leo.
259
00:14:58,188 --> 00:15:00,607
Oh, God.
260
00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:05,653
Sheldon does not have a cousin Leo.
261
00:15:05,821 --> 00:15:07,530
Au contraire.
262
00:15:07,698 --> 00:15:08,990
I'm 26 years old...
263
00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:14,495
...I'm originally from "Denton, Texas,"
but I was a Navy brat.
264
00:15:14,663 --> 00:15:17,665
I was brought up on a variety
of military bases around the world.
265
00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:21,252
As a result, I've often felt like an outsider,
never really fitting in...
266
00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:23,880
...probably the reason
for my substance-abuse problem.
267
00:15:24,048 --> 00:15:27,008
Excuse me, we just went over this.
268
00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:31,638
As the middle child, your addiction
is rooted in your unmet need for attention.
269
00:15:31,805 --> 00:15:34,557
Oh, Sheldon, are we really gonna go
with pop psychology?
270
00:15:34,725 --> 00:15:37,560
For your information,
this is all based on solid research.
271
00:15:37,728 --> 00:15:40,313
Just stick with the character profile
I wrote for you.
272
00:15:40,481 --> 00:15:42,065
- Sheldon?
- I'm sorry.
273
00:15:42,232 --> 00:15:43,816
Leonard, this is Toby Loobenfeld.
274
00:15:43,984 --> 00:15:46,694
He's a research assistant
in the particle-physics lab...
275
00:15:46,862 --> 00:15:50,031
...but he also minored in theater at MIT.
276
00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:52,033
It was more of a double major, actually.
277
00:15:52,409 --> 00:15:53,451
Theater and Physics.
278
00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:56,537
You can guess which one
my bourgeois parents pushed me towards.
279
00:15:56,705 --> 00:15:57,872
Yeah, I got it.
280
00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,999
Sheldon, why?
281
00:16:00,167 --> 00:16:02,710
You see, while Leo would not
have gone into rehab...
282
00:16:02,878 --> 00:16:06,881
...it is completely plausible that we would
have talked him into leaving the motel...
283
00:16:07,049 --> 00:16:09,217
- ...and coming home with us.
- Oh...
284
00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:11,552
Sheldon, how about this
as my motivation?
285
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:12,887
When I was 14 years old...
286
00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:17,100
...I was abused in the Philippines
by a clubfooted Navy chaplain.
287
00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:22,063
No, we're going with middle child
and a genetic predisposition...
288
00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:24,732
...to inadequate serotonin production.
289
00:16:24,900 --> 00:16:27,694
Swell, well, how do I play
genetic predisposition?
290
00:16:28,862 --> 00:16:31,030
Subtextually, of course.
291
00:16:31,865 --> 00:16:33,408
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
292
00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:36,244
Just have fun with it.
293
00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:43,626
- Morning, Penny.
- Hi. How did the intervention go?
294
00:16:43,794 --> 00:16:46,713
Unfortunately, we weren't able
to convince him to go to rehab.
295
00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:50,091
Well, based on what you told me,
I'm not surprised.
296
00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:55,096
But we did convince him
to leave the motel.
297
00:16:55,264 --> 00:16:56,264
Come say hello.
298
00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:02,395
Leo, this is Penny,
our friend and neighbor.
299
00:17:02,563 --> 00:17:05,773
Hi, Leo, how are you feeling?
300
00:17:11,071 --> 00:17:12,613
Let me ask you something, Penny.
301
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:17,285
Have you ever woken up in a fleabag motel
covered in your own vomit...
302
00:17:17,453 --> 00:17:20,246
...next to a transsexual prostitute?
303
00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:27,295
- No.
- Then don't ask me how I'm feeling.
304
00:17:29,798 --> 00:17:30,840
Well, that's Leo.
305
00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:35,303
Hey, why don't you tell me
about your showcase last night?
306
00:17:35,471 --> 00:17:36,637
Oh, it was okay, I guess.
307
00:17:36,805 --> 00:17:39,348
Wasn't a big turnout,
but they both seemed to like it.
308
00:17:40,017 --> 00:17:44,312
- There were only two people there?
- By the end, yeah.
309
00:17:44,521 --> 00:17:47,315
Damn you, Chaplain Horrigan.
310
00:17:49,276 --> 00:17:50,693
I'm sorry?
311
00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:52,820
The Philippines.
312
00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:56,741
1992.
313
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:58,826
The Subic Bay Naval Station.
314
00:17:58,994 --> 00:18:01,996
A young boy on the cusp of manhood.
315
00:18:02,706 --> 00:18:07,543
His only companions,
mongrel dogs and malarial mosquitoes.
316
00:18:07,711 --> 00:18:11,047
Desperate and alone,
he reached out to a man...
317
00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:15,343
...who promised to introduce him
to a merciful, loving God...
318
00:18:15,511 --> 00:18:19,680
...but who instead introduced him
to a gin-pickled tongue...
319
00:18:19,848 --> 00:18:23,684
...shoved down his adolescent throat.
320
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:26,187
What choice did he have...
321
00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:32,193
...but to drink, shoot
and snort his pain away?
322
00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:34,821
Don't forget genetic predisposition
towards addiction.
323
00:18:34,988 --> 00:18:36,030
Never been proven.
324
00:18:36,198 --> 00:18:38,574
- There have been studies.
- Not double-blind studies.
325
00:18:38,742 --> 00:18:41,202
How could there be?
Who would be the control group?
326
00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:43,454
As you can see,
detoxing can get pretty ugly.
327
00:18:43,622 --> 00:18:45,706
- Let's give them some privacy.
- Yeah.
328
00:18:45,874 --> 00:18:47,667
Do you wanna come over,
have coffee?
329
00:18:47,835 --> 00:18:50,878
- Sounds good.
- I have a video of me singing last night.
330
00:18:51,046 --> 00:18:52,880
Do you wanna see it?
331
00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:55,675
- Gee, why wouldn't I?
- This is even better...
332
00:18:55,843 --> 00:18:59,011
...than you coming to the showcase,
now I get to watch you watch me.
333
00:18:59,179 --> 00:19:00,513
Yeah.
334
00:19:01,557 --> 00:19:04,308
Funny how things work out.
335
00:19:04,893 --> 00:19:07,061
But he loved the companionship
and the wisdom...
336
00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:09,730
...that his own father failed to provide.
337
00:19:10,774 --> 00:19:12,608
Your parents made the right decision.
338
00:19:18,490 --> 00:19:21,159
I cannot work like this.
339
00:19:24,955 --> 00:19:27,248
[MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY
ON TV]
340
00:19:30,669 --> 00:19:36,257
This is amazing, just sitting on a couch
watching TV with a woman.
341
00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:41,888
Not being drunk or high
or wondering if you're a dude down there.
342
00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:47,226
Leo, you are a very sweet,
really funny guy.
343
00:19:47,394 --> 00:19:49,520
You're gonna do okay.
344
00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:52,023
One day at a time, Penny.
345
00:19:55,652 --> 00:19:57,862
One day at a time.
346
00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:05,036
How long is he going to stay here?
347
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:08,956
He's a homeless drug addict, Leonard,
where is he going to go?
348
00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:11,876
Boy, you have a lot to learn about lying.
349
00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:40,905
[English - US - SDH]
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