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1
00:00:04,254 --> 00:00:07,214
I'm gonna run to the store.
I'll pick you up when you're done.
2
00:00:07,424 --> 00:00:10,968
Okay. I like it a little better
when you stay, but all right.
3
00:00:11,511 --> 00:00:12,803
- Hey, Sheldon.
- Hello.
4
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:15,347
I'm here for my haircut
with Mr. D'Onofrio.
5
00:00:15,557 --> 00:00:18,517
I'm sorry, Uncle Tony is in the hospital.
He's pretty sick.
6
00:00:19,102 --> 00:00:22,396
Oh, dear, Mr. D'Onofrio's
in the hospital.
7
00:00:22,605 --> 00:00:25,691
Why do these things
always happen to me?
8
00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:28,610
- I can cut it for you.
- You're not Mr. D'Onofrio.
9
00:00:29,821 --> 00:00:31,739
I get my hair cut by Mr. D'Onofrio.
10
00:00:32,532 --> 00:00:33,991
You believe this guy?
11
00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:36,285
Excuse us for a second.
12
00:00:36,494 --> 00:00:38,871
Sheldon, it's okay, he can do it.
He's a barber.
13
00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:41,707
He's not a barber, he's the nephew.
14
00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:44,043
An example of the nepotism...
15
00:00:44,252 --> 00:00:46,503
...that runs rampant
in the barbering industry.
16
00:00:47,213 --> 00:00:50,299
Besides Mr. D'Onofrio knows exactly
how I like my hair done...
17
00:00:50,508 --> 00:00:53,886
...because he has all my haircut records
from my barber in Texas.
18
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,013
What are you talking about?
19
00:00:56,222 --> 00:00:59,475
When I first moved here, I was nervous
about finding a new barber...
20
00:00:59,684 --> 00:01:03,395
...so my mother had all my haircut
records sent here to Mr. D'Onofrio.
21
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:08,025
There's no such thing
as haircut records.
22
00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:12,112
- Yes, there are.
- Have you ever seen them?
23
00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:14,740
No, but my mother assured me
they were sent here...
24
00:01:14,949 --> 00:01:18,619
...and I'll bet you dollars to donuts
that this one doesn't have them.
25
00:01:18,828 --> 00:01:19,953
Excuse me.
26
00:01:20,163 --> 00:01:22,498
Do you have access
to my haircut records?
27
00:01:22,707 --> 00:01:24,083
Your what?
28
00:01:24,626 --> 00:01:27,377
To paraphrase T.S. Eliot,
this is the way the world ends.
29
00:01:27,587 --> 00:01:30,672
Not with a bang but with a nephew.
30
00:01:32,217 --> 00:01:34,635
Sheldon, you're a grown man,
he's a professional...
31
00:01:34,844 --> 00:01:38,639
...and your haircut is number three
on that poster from 1946.
32
00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:42,101
- Just sit down and let him do it.
- Fine.
33
00:01:42,310 --> 00:01:45,896
But if I come out of this
looking like a dork, it's on you.
34
00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:56,406
- So my kid said the funniest thing today.
- Nope.
35
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:06,542
When you tell this story later,
the word we usually use is "quirky."
36
00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:35,237
- Can you pass the Parmesan cheese?
- Sure.
37
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,364
(BLOWING)
38
00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:46,874
- What are you doing?
- I'm trying to get the hair out of my eyes.
39
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,878
Sheldon, you are one day late
for your haircut.
40
00:02:51,087 --> 00:02:53,380
Thank you
for captioning my nightmare.
41
00:02:55,633 --> 00:02:58,927
- Lookie here, I got my travel orders.
- Hmm.
42
00:02:59,470 --> 00:03:02,347
"Payload Specialist Howard Wolowitz
is requested to report...
43
00:03:02,557 --> 00:03:05,559
...to the NASA Johnson Space Center,
Houston, Texas...
44
00:03:05,768 --> 00:03:07,769
...for astronaut training
Monday 8 a.m."
45
00:03:07,979 --> 00:03:10,898
Yeah, but it's from NASA,
so it's 0800.
46
00:03:11,107 --> 00:03:12,274
But it says 8 a.m.
47
00:03:14,235 --> 00:03:18,238
- You read it as 0800.
- Lt doesn't have an O in front of it.
48
00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:20,991
It does have an O in front of it.
49
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:24,703
Oh, my God, I'm an astronaut,
and you're dying of jealousy.
50
00:03:26,247 --> 00:03:29,416
So, what kind of things are they...?
Will you stop that?
51
00:03:30,376 --> 00:03:33,921
I can't help it,
I feel like a teen heartthrob.
52
00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:38,592
Sheldon, I used to cut my brother's hair.
I could do it.
53
00:03:38,801 --> 00:03:44,431
Penny, I know you mean well,
offering the skills of the hill folk...
54
00:03:45,433 --> 00:03:48,018
...but here in town,
we don't churn our own butter...
55
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:50,354
...we don't make dresses
out of gunny sacks...
56
00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:53,815
...and we sure as shooting
don't get our hair cut by bottle-blond...
57
00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:55,734
Sheldon, be nice.
58
00:03:56,778 --> 00:04:00,656
I'm sorry, it's the bad-boy attitude
that comes with this hair.
59
00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:06,370
You could go to my guy.
He's at Juan-Juan in Beverly Hills.
60
00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:08,830
They bring you a cup of tea,
massage your scalp.
61
00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:11,500
It's $200 but sometimes
you look in the next chair...
62
00:04:11,709 --> 00:04:14,711
...and you see a superstar
like Tony Danza.
63
00:04:16,172 --> 00:04:19,258
Quick question here, have we actually
changed the conversation...
64
00:04:19,467 --> 00:04:23,220
...from "I'm going to astronaut training"
to "Sheldon can't get a haircut"?
65
00:04:23,429 --> 00:04:27,557
Now who's dying of jealousy?
"Oh," it's you.
66
00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:33,438
(SINGING)
I'm a cowboy
67
00:04:33,648 --> 00:04:36,400
On a steel horse
I ride
68
00:04:36,609 --> 00:04:43,907
I'm wanted
69
00:04:45,910 --> 00:04:49,913
Wanted
Dead or alive
70
00:04:50,498 --> 00:04:54,042
Sheldon, you're ruining
girlfriend-boyfriend sing-along night.
71
00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:58,422
I'm sorry. I'm looking for a barber
and I'm running out of time.
72
00:04:58,631 --> 00:04:59,673
My hair is growing...
73
00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:03,510
...at the rate of 4.6 yoctometers
per femtosecond.
74
00:05:04,053 --> 00:05:07,347
If you're quiet, you can hear it.
75
00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:11,101
- What about Supercuts?
- No, I tried once.
76
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:14,938
They do men's and women's hair
in the same room at the same time.
77
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:17,899
It's like Sodom and Gomorrah
with mousse.
78
00:05:19,027 --> 00:05:22,904
Well, this isn't a crisis. Why don't
you just let your hair grow out a little?
79
00:05:23,114 --> 00:05:25,240
Why don't I let my hair grow out?
80
00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:27,367
Why don't I start wearing
Birkenstocks...
81
00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:31,997
...and seeking validation of my opinions
by asking, "Can you dig it?"
82
00:05:33,666 --> 00:05:36,668
I don't know. I think
you might look sexy with long hair.
83
00:05:38,379 --> 00:05:41,840
With the kind
that flows down to your shoulders...
84
00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:44,134
...and blows back
while riding on a horse.
85
00:05:46,554 --> 00:05:49,514
Bareback and bare-chested.
86
00:05:51,392 --> 00:05:53,852
I'm gonna go brush my teeth,
it might take a while.
87
00:05:59,275 --> 00:06:01,777
- Hi.
- Hi, sweetie.
88
00:06:01,986 --> 00:06:04,446
- I miss you.
- I miss you too.
89
00:06:04,655 --> 00:06:06,948
So tell me all about your first day.
90
00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:12,788
Oh, wow, where do I even start?
I got to experience zero gravity.
91
00:06:12,997 --> 00:06:15,040
- Cool. How do they do that?
- Lt's pretty neat.
92
00:06:15,249 --> 00:06:20,379
You get in this plane that goes
almost straight up for like 20 seconds...
93
00:06:20,588 --> 00:06:24,966
...and then straight back down
like it's gonna crash...
94
00:06:25,176 --> 00:06:30,430
...and they do it over and over again,
no matter how many times you throw up.
95
00:06:31,432 --> 00:06:34,559
- You threw up?
- Yeah. And the craziest part is...
96
00:06:34,769 --> 00:06:39,856
...because there's no gravity,
the throw-up kind of floats there.
97
00:06:40,942 --> 00:06:44,945
In a little ball,
and if your mouth is open...
98
00:06:45,154 --> 00:06:47,406
...because you're screaming...
99
00:06:48,741 --> 00:06:52,786
...sometimes it just floats right back in.
100
00:06:55,039 --> 00:06:58,041
Boy, does everyone laugh at you
when that happens.
101
00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:00,043
- That sounds mean.
- No.
102
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:01,753
I would have laughed too...
103
00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:03,797
...but I didn't want
the vomit to come back out.
104
00:07:04,006 --> 00:07:05,841
(LAUGHS)
105
00:07:06,050 --> 00:07:08,802
Heh. Anyway...
106
00:07:09,011 --> 00:07:10,679
Oh, could you do me a favor...
107
00:07:10,888 --> 00:07:14,015
...and overnight me
some more underwear?
108
00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:16,351
- Sure, why?
- I got a look at the centrifuge...
109
00:07:16,561 --> 00:07:18,687
...they're gonna
spin me around in tomorrow...
110
00:07:18,896 --> 00:07:22,190
...and I have a hunch
I packed a little light.
111
00:07:29,907 --> 00:07:31,533
Mr. D'Onofrio?
112
00:07:31,742 --> 00:07:33,118
It's me, Sheldon.
113
00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:37,873
They didn't have anything
barber-themed in the gift shop...
114
00:07:38,082 --> 00:07:40,083
...so I got you this.
115
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:44,713
Don't know if you can read his little
T-shirt. It says, "Get well beary soon."
116
00:07:46,716 --> 00:07:49,676
Trust me, if you were even a little
conscious right now, you'd be laughing.
117
00:07:49,886 --> 00:07:51,470
(CHUCKLES)
118
00:07:53,514 --> 00:07:55,348
Anyway...
119
00:07:56,851 --> 00:07:58,477
There's new studies that show...
120
00:07:58,686 --> 00:08:02,939
...people in comas are aware
of everything going on around them.
121
00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:05,859
With that in mind, if you can hear me...
122
00:08:06,068 --> 00:08:11,615
...move away from the light
and toward the sound of these scissors.
123
00:08:12,909 --> 00:08:15,619
- Can I help you?
- Yes.
124
00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:19,206
Do you have something
I could use as a cape?
125
00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:23,585
Oh, dear, did we spit out our pills,
slip out of the ninth floor...
126
00:08:23,794 --> 00:08:25,795
...and go on a little adventure?
127
00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:31,134
Oh, no, I'm just here
to get my hair cut.
128
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:32,594
(BLOWS)
129
00:08:34,805 --> 00:08:38,558
I see. Just wait here one moment.
130
00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:40,602
Security!
131
00:08:41,687 --> 00:08:47,025
I gotta run. But not with scissors.
That would be unsafe.
132
00:08:52,448 --> 00:08:56,743
So if I move my horsey here...
133
00:08:58,287 --> 00:09:00,956
...isn't that checkmate and I win?
134
00:09:07,922 --> 00:09:09,297
Hmm.
135
00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:13,718
Oh... Is it or isn't it?
136
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:16,680
You know, I think
this is a good stopping point.
137
00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:22,769
It's your first real game.
I threw a lot of information at you.
138
00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:24,145
No, your king is trapped.
139
00:09:24,355 --> 00:09:27,065
He can't go here
because of my lighthouse...
140
00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:28,942
...and...
141
00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:34,114
...he can't go here
because of my pointy-head guy.
142
00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:37,617
Like I said, complicated game.
143
00:09:38,536 --> 00:09:40,453
- So did I win or not?
- Did you have fun?
144
00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:42,789
Because if you had fun,
then you are a winner.
145
00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:45,083
That's what chess is all about.
146
00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:48,169
- Hello.
- Hey.
147
00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:50,338
Oh, hey. Sorry, Sheldon, I'll move.
148
00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:54,009
Why? My spot, your spot.
What difference does it make?
149
00:09:57,888 --> 00:10:01,600
- Okay, what just happened?
- I don't know.
150
00:10:01,809 --> 00:10:04,019
Between you playing chess
like Bobby Fischer...
151
00:10:04,228 --> 00:10:06,646
...and Sheldon being okay
with you in his spot...
152
00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:08,940
...I'm guessing
someone went back in time...
153
00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:12,152
...stepped on a bug,
and changed the course of human events.
154
00:10:13,529 --> 00:10:17,449
- Sweetie, are you all right?
- No, I'm not all right.
155
00:10:17,658 --> 00:10:20,452
It's been six days
since I was supposed to get a haircut...
156
00:10:20,661 --> 00:10:22,495
...and nothing horrible has happened.
157
00:10:23,831 --> 00:10:25,582
Okay, I'm sorry, I don't understand.
158
00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:30,170
- Leonard, explain it to her.
- Oh, uh, he's crazy.
159
00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:35,508
I have spent my whole life
trying to bring order to the universe...
160
00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:38,345
...by carefully planning
every moment of every day.
161
00:10:38,554 --> 00:10:42,057
But all my efforts, our dinner schedule,
my pajama rotation...
162
00:10:42,266 --> 00:10:44,225
...my bowel movement spreadsheet...
163
00:10:45,853 --> 00:10:48,563
it's clear now,
I've been wasting my time.
164
00:10:49,357 --> 00:10:52,776
Good. I'm taking that disgusting chart
off the fridge.
165
00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:54,778
You know...
166
00:10:54,987 --> 00:10:57,280
...sometimes it's nice
not knowing what's coming.
167
00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:58,573
Look at me and Leonard.
168
00:10:58,783 --> 00:11:00,492
We went out, broke up,
trying again.
169
00:11:00,701 --> 00:11:02,118
We don't know what's gonna happen.
170
00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:04,788
Oh, please, everyone knows
what's going to happen.
171
00:11:07,249 --> 00:11:08,583
But I see your point.
172
00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:10,418
I think this could be good for you.
173
00:11:10,628 --> 00:11:13,797
Maybe it's time for you
to shake things up a bit.
174
00:11:14,131 --> 00:11:15,340
You're right.
175
00:11:15,549 --> 00:11:17,217
I should embrace the chaos.
176
00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:21,554
- Great. What are you gonna do first?
- I don't know.
177
00:11:21,764 --> 00:11:25,475
I could do anything. All bets are off.
178
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:28,395
The world is my oyster.
179
00:11:29,105 --> 00:11:30,563
I got it.
180
00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:32,982
I'm gonna put on
my Tuesday pajamas tonight.
181
00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:40,240
I got to tell you,
I'm a little worried about him.
182
00:11:40,449 --> 00:11:41,950
If I were you, I'd be worried...
183
00:11:42,159 --> 00:11:45,704
...that a girl who's never played chess
in her life just kicked your ass.
184
00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,260
Hi.
185
00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:02,971
Howie, what happened to you?
186
00:12:03,180 --> 00:12:07,350
We did overnight survival training
in the wilderness.
187
00:12:07,935 --> 00:12:11,312
Big fun. Big, big fun.
188
00:12:12,106 --> 00:12:14,023
I was gonna freshen up for you...
189
00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:19,070
...but I blacked out a little
on the way to the bathroom.
190
00:12:19,822 --> 00:12:21,781
Survival training?
Is that like camping?
191
00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:26,327
Uh-huh. Except you don't have food
or water...
192
00:12:26,537 --> 00:12:29,247
...and they don't have
a sunset Sabbath service...
193
00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:32,125
...like they do at Camp Hess Kramer.
194
00:12:33,252 --> 00:12:35,795
- Do you sleep in tents?
- No.
195
00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:43,011
I slept in a hole I dug in the ground
with my bare hands.
196
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:49,309
And at some point during the night,
an armadillo crawled in...
197
00:12:50,478 --> 00:12:52,729
...and spooned me.
198
00:12:54,690 --> 00:12:58,276
- Poor baby.
- But I did it. I survived.
199
00:12:58,486 --> 00:13:02,947
I wasn't sure
I was going to when the sandstorm hit.
200
00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:09,829
I just pulled my turtleneck up
over my head and waited for death.
201
00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:14,459
But somehow as I sat there...
202
00:13:14,668 --> 00:13:18,755
...wrapped in a cocoon
of my own neck-sweat...
203
00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:23,051
...I found that primal part
of the human spirit...
204
00:13:23,260 --> 00:13:29,933
...that just wants to keep on living,
heh-heh, no matter what the cost.
205
00:13:30,142 --> 00:13:32,977
You're so brave. I'm proud of you.
206
00:13:33,521 --> 00:13:35,939
I ate a butterfly.
207
00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:45,782
It was so small...
208
00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:49,035
...beautiful...
209
00:13:50,037 --> 00:13:52,580
...but I was so hungry.
210
00:13:55,417 --> 00:13:59,420
- Are you crying?
- No, I don't think it's possible.
211
00:13:59,630 --> 00:14:02,715
I'm severely dehydrated.
212
00:14:03,759 --> 00:14:06,469
My pee is like toothpaste.
213
00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:10,640
Howie, if you're not able to do this,
come home.
214
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:13,601
It won't change how I feel about you.
215
00:14:13,811 --> 00:14:17,188
Thanks, honey, but I can't quit.
216
00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:19,649
If I do, I'd just be a guy...
217
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:23,778
...who had a chance to be an astronaut
and gave it up.
218
00:14:23,988 --> 00:14:25,989
Is there anything I could do to help?
219
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:28,074
No.
220
00:14:28,909 --> 00:14:31,536
Wait. Send more underwear.
221
00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:37,125
(BONGOS PLAYING OUTSIDE)
222
00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:46,092
Don't let this be
Sheldon playing bongos.
223
00:14:49,847 --> 00:14:53,850
Please, don't let this be
Sheldon playing bongos.
224
00:15:00,816 --> 00:15:04,152
(SINGING) Hello, Leonard,
Do you like my bongos?
225
00:15:05,988 --> 00:15:09,532
Bet you didn't know that I had bongos
226
00:15:10,701 --> 00:15:12,702
Sheldon, it's 3:00 in the morning.
227
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:16,956
Three in the morning
Is a good time for bongos
228
00:15:17,499 --> 00:15:18,833
I was sleeping.
229
00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:23,171
Leonard sleeps while I play bongos
230
00:15:23,380 --> 00:15:25,506
No, he doesn't.
231
00:15:25,716 --> 00:15:28,509
Leonard no sleep while I play bongos
232
00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:30,219
Bongo solo.
233
00:15:34,850 --> 00:15:37,352
Stop. Stop it. Stop. Stop.
234
00:15:37,561 --> 00:15:39,437
Stop it.
235
00:15:44,276 --> 00:15:46,527
- What the hell?
- Oh, hi, Penny, guess what?
236
00:15:46,737 --> 00:15:48,905
Sheldon got bongos.
237
00:15:49,114 --> 00:15:52,408
- Why did you get bongos?
- Richard Feynman played the bongos.
238
00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:53,826
I thought I'd try.
239
00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:55,620
Feynman was a famous physicist.
240
00:15:55,829 --> 00:15:56,996
It's 3:00 in the morning.
241
00:15:57,206 --> 00:16:00,959
I don't care if Richard Feynman was a
purple leprechaun who lived in my butt.
242
00:16:02,169 --> 00:16:05,129
(SINGING) Penny meant
If he were a purple leprechaun
243
00:16:05,339 --> 00:16:09,300
Penny forgot to use the subjunctive
244
00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:13,596
Sheldon, go to bed.
You have work in the morning.
245
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:18,601
Maybe, maybe not. Maybe tomorrow
I start a bongo band and tour the world.
246
00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:23,773
No, hang on. Roommate Agreement.
247
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:28,987
No hootenannies, sing-a-longs,
or barbershop quartets after 10 p.m.
248
00:16:29,196 --> 00:16:31,239
Roommate Agreement?
Are you kidding?
249
00:16:31,448 --> 00:16:34,784
We are living in a world of chaos.
250
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,411
Roommate Agreement.
251
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:42,709
- Where are you going?
- Wherever the music takes me, kitten.
252
00:16:45,796 --> 00:16:49,465
SHELDON (SINGING):
I play bongos walking down the stairs
253
00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:51,259
Oh! Oh!
254
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:57,473
Never play bongos
Walking down the stairs
255
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:00,727
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
256
00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:06,399
- Surprise.
- What are you doing here?
257
00:17:06,608 --> 00:17:08,234
Here to help you get through this.
258
00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:11,529
Can't do it on your own,
you need someone to take care of you.
259
00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:14,824
- Oh. I love you so much.
- Oh, and I love you.
260
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:19,037
MRS. WOLOWITZ:
Howard, your bath is getting cold.
261
00:17:20,497 --> 00:17:24,584
Don't worry, once she falls asleep,
I'll spoon you like an armadillo. Heh.
262
00:17:29,506 --> 00:17:33,092
He showed up in the middle of the night
with his bongos.
263
00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:36,846
I foolishly thought
it was some sort of musical booty call.
264
00:17:39,099 --> 00:17:42,602
Poor guy.
He must have been exhausted.
265
00:17:42,811 --> 00:17:45,480
(SINGING) Sheldon like to sleep
While Leonard play the bongo
266
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:51,694
- That was kind of uncalled for.
- No, it was called for.
267
00:17:53,530 --> 00:17:54,572
What's going on?
268
00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:57,075
Sheldon, this craziness has gone
on long enough.
269
00:17:57,284 --> 00:17:59,327
Please come home
so I can cut your hair.
270
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:02,872
Penny, you're not trained.
You're not licensed.
271
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:06,959
And most importantly, you don't have
access to my haircut records.
272
00:18:10,005 --> 00:18:11,923
All right, honey, look...
273
00:18:12,132 --> 00:18:15,051
...we've known each other
for a long time now, right?
274
00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:18,930
I've taken you to Disneyland,
I kicked a bully in the nuts for you.
275
00:18:20,057 --> 00:18:24,519
I sing you "Soft Kitty" when you're sick,
you've even seen me naked once.
276
00:18:24,728 --> 00:18:26,813
I'm sorry, what?
277
00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:31,651
It was a long story. Anyway, Sheldon,
I promise I know what I'm doing.
278
00:18:31,860 --> 00:18:33,444
Please let me cut your hair.
279
00:18:34,404 --> 00:18:36,489
Amy, what do you think?
280
00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:41,327
There's not a hair on my body
I wouldn't let this woman trim.
281
00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:50,628
Fine, let's go.
282
00:18:54,341 --> 00:18:56,509
Thank you for letting me sleep
on your couch.
283
00:18:56,718 --> 00:19:00,179
There's only so many times a woman
can say, "How about the bed?"
284
00:19:03,058 --> 00:19:05,059
LEONARD: What's this about
Sheldon seeing you naked?
285
00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:09,397
SHELDON: Oh, relax.
It was just her bottom and her breasts.
286
00:19:16,488 --> 00:19:18,531
Almost done.
287
00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:23,369
At the end of the haircut,
Mr. D'Onofrio would tell me a dirty joke.
288
00:19:24,538 --> 00:19:26,998
Oh, sorry, I don't know any dirty jokes.
289
00:19:27,207 --> 00:19:30,168
That's okay,
I never understood them anyway.
290
00:19:32,421 --> 00:19:34,714
PENNY: Okay, what do you think?
291
00:19:37,551 --> 00:19:41,846
SHELDON: Hmm. Well, it's a little Hollywood.
292
00:19:43,807 --> 00:19:46,767
But I think I can pull it off.
Well done, Penny.
293
00:19:46,977 --> 00:19:49,478
Told you. I'm just gonna
clean up your neck a little...
294
00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:51,397
- ...and then you are good to go.
- Fun time.
295
00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:52,815
(CLIPPERS WHIRRING)
296
00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:54,066
(GIGGLES)
297
00:19:54,276 --> 00:19:56,819
Sorry,
sometimes the clippers tickle me.
298
00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:58,529
Okay.
299
00:19:58,739 --> 00:20:00,740
(LAUGHS)
300
00:20:05,829 --> 00:20:08,915
Okay, yep, we're all done now.
Lt's... it's good.
301
00:20:09,124 --> 00:20:11,876
Let me just take that away from you.
Okay.
302
00:20:12,085 --> 00:20:15,213
- Thank you very much.
- You are welcome.
303
00:20:19,426 --> 00:20:21,344
(MOUTHS)
Okay.
304
00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:25,890
Yeah, I'm gonna have to move. Ahem.
25425
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