Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,546 --> 00:00:07,256
- It was a nice retirement party.
- I guess.
2
00:00:07,465 --> 00:00:11,176
Still, it's a shame Professor Rothman
was forced to step down.
3
00:00:11,386 --> 00:00:13,971
Well, what choice
did the university have? He snapped.
4
00:00:14,180 --> 00:00:17,099
It happens to theoretical physicists
all the time.
5
00:00:17,767 --> 00:00:20,477
I wonder how long Sheldon's got.
6
00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:23,480
These shrimp are all the same size.
7
00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:25,733
There's no logical order
to eat them in.
8
00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:30,446
Can't be very long.
9
00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:33,532
Hey, look,
there's Rothman's empty office.
10
00:00:34,242 --> 00:00:35,409
- Sad.
- Yeah.
11
00:00:35,618 --> 00:00:37,703
- Indeed.
- So sad.
12
00:00:38,288 --> 00:00:40,247
Dibs.
13
00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:44,793
What's up, fellas?
14
00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:46,795
What are you doing here, Kripke?
15
00:00:47,005 --> 00:00:49,506
Measuring my new office for drapes.
16
00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:52,676
This is not your office.
It hasn't been assigned yet.
17
00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:56,138
I called dibs at Christmas when
Rothman tried to have intercourse...
18
00:00:56,347 --> 00:00:58,390
...with the Toys for Tots
collection box.
19
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:01,810
Dibs? I mean, this is a university,
not a playground.
20
00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:04,646
Offices are not assigned
because someone called dibs.
21
00:01:04,856 --> 00:01:07,191
- You just called dibs.
- Shut it.
22
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:11,653
Offices are assigned by seniority.
I arrived at the university first.
23
00:01:11,863 --> 00:01:15,866
I arrived at the office first.
I'm the proverbial early bird.
24
00:01:16,951 --> 00:01:18,535
- Gentlemen.
- Mr. Rothman.
25
00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:21,038
- Professor Rothman.
- Professor Rothman.
26
00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:24,875
Good evening.
27
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:27,044
LEONARD: Good evening.
- See you.
28
00:01:29,547 --> 00:01:31,632
I'm glad
that men are wearing hats again.
29
00:01:33,009 --> 00:01:35,344
They're so distinguished.
30
00:02:03,164 --> 00:02:05,999
- I got you a little something.
- A little something?
31
00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:08,293
Oh, it...
32
00:02:10,839 --> 00:02:12,256
What? This is huge.
33
00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:14,424
What's huge is what you've done
for me.
34
00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:16,593
Oh, no, Amy, I haven't done anything.
35
00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:19,346
No, no. Before I met you,
I was a mousy wallflower.
36
00:02:19,556 --> 00:02:20,597
But look at me now.
37
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:23,809
I'm like some kind
of downtown hipster party girl...
38
00:02:24,352 --> 00:02:26,228
...with a posse, a boyfriend...
39
00:02:26,437 --> 00:02:29,439
...and a new lace bra
that hooks in the front, of all things.
40
00:02:30,483 --> 00:02:34,027
- Open it, open it.
- Okay.
41
00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:45,164
I wanted to get you something
you didn't have.
42
00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:52,212
Wow. I don't know what to s... Wow.
43
00:02:52,755 --> 00:02:56,008
- Do you like it?
- Do I like it? Wow.
44
00:02:57,510 --> 00:02:58,886
So where you gonna hang it?
45
00:02:59,095 --> 00:03:01,930
Oh, my Go... Hang it. Wow. Um...
46
00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:05,392
You know, I'd have to get a hook
and nails and a hammer, and...
47
00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:06,894
- No problem.
- Oh, look.
48
00:03:07,395 --> 00:03:11,273
You've got... You just...
You got it all right there. Wow.
49
00:03:17,488 --> 00:03:19,865
I found him. He's in the bathroom.
50
00:03:20,074 --> 00:03:22,534
- President Seibert?
- Can't this wait?
51
00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:24,369
I'm sorry, we just need a word.
52
00:03:24,579 --> 00:03:28,624
Now? You realize I'm your boss
and I am holding my penis.
53
00:03:28,833 --> 00:03:31,335
Sheldon, give the man some privacy.
54
00:03:31,544 --> 00:03:34,671
I'm sorry, this guy's got no respect
for boundaries.
55
00:03:35,423 --> 00:03:36,840
What do you want?
56
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:40,093
Will you tell this lunatic
that Rothman's office is mine?
57
00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:42,721
Take this up with your
department chairman.
58
00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:45,098
His assistant said
he was on sabbatical.
59
00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:49,102
Although, we distinctly heard
his office window open and shut.
60
00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:52,189
Gentlemen, there's a task
I'm trying to accomplish here...
61
00:03:52,398 --> 00:03:54,524
- ...and I'm having trouble doing it.
- Oh, my.
62
00:03:54,734 --> 00:03:57,236
President Seibert,
I don't mean to be an alarmist...
63
00:03:57,445 --> 00:03:59,613
...but difficulty initiating
a urine stream...
64
00:03:59,822 --> 00:04:02,407
...could be a symptom
of benign prostatic hyperplasia.
65
00:04:03,326 --> 00:04:06,411
If you're interested, I can send you a link
to a YouTube video...
66
00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:09,915
...that'll show you
how to perform your own rectal exam.
67
00:04:10,291 --> 00:04:14,336
Yeah, helpful hint:
Trim your nails first.
68
00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:17,339
Ignore him, President Seibert.
69
00:04:17,548 --> 00:04:21,176
I'm sure a young man such as yourself
has a perfectly healthy prostate.
70
00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:23,679
Oh, he's just trying to butter you up.
71
00:04:23,888 --> 00:04:28,267
And for the record, butter is an excellent
lubricant for your rectal exam.
72
00:04:28,476 --> 00:04:31,186
Gentlemen, I'm going to allow you
to work this out...
73
00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:33,522
...because, A,
you're brilliant scientists...
74
00:04:33,731 --> 00:04:36,066
...and, B,
as far as who gets Rothman's office...
75
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:38,777
...I couldn't give the furry crack
of a rat's behind.
76
00:04:43,908 --> 00:04:46,952
Well, as long as we're here,
I might as well take a leak.
77
00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:52,291
- Kripke?
- Yes?
78
00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:54,209
You're in my spot.
79
00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:10,225
(SIGHS)
80
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:14,521
That is big.
81
00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:16,940
So big.
82
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,609
- And ugly.
- So ugly.
83
00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:22,112
What am I gonna do?
84
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:25,240
I don't know. You can't take it down.
You'll break her heart.
85
00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:27,492
Look at that face.
86
00:05:27,702 --> 00:05:32,539
That enormous, unsettling, crazy face.
87
00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:36,793
Any chance I'll learn to love it?
88
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:40,589
That depends, do you like pictures
of yourself where you look like a man?
89
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:47,137
- All right. It's gotta go.
- What will you tell Amy?
90
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:51,266
How about I tell her the painting makes
you feel jealous because you're not in it?
91
00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:54,603
Oh, nuh-uh. What if she gets me one?
92
00:05:56,773 --> 00:05:59,107
I already have a picture of
me and Howard's mom...
93
00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:02,611
...getting our hair cornrowed
in Venice Beach. I've suffered enough.
94
00:06:02,820 --> 00:06:06,656
I could take it down and put it up when
she comes over, but it's kind of heavy.
95
00:06:07,283 --> 00:06:10,744
Too bad you're not as strong
as the dude in the painting.
96
00:06:14,332 --> 00:06:15,415
Would you look at this?
97
00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:19,878
I paid $25 to some kid on eBay
for a handcrafted Harry Potter wand.
98
00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:22,589
He sent me a stick.
99
00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:28,220
He went into his backyard,
he picked up a stick.
100
00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:31,723
It's numbered. Heh.
101
00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:34,393
Ooh. Limited edition. Nice.
102
00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:36,144
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
103
00:06:36,354 --> 00:06:38,688
- Oh, that'll be Kripke.
- What's he doing here?
104
00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:41,775
We're going to work
this office situation out like gentlemen.
105
00:06:41,984 --> 00:06:44,694
And if that doesn't work,
I'm going to poison his tea.
106
00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:48,407
- Cooper.
- Kripke. Come in.
107
00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:52,786
I'm making tea. Would you like a cup?
108
00:06:52,995 --> 00:06:55,914
Am I wearing a summer frock?
No, I don't want tea.
109
00:06:57,291 --> 00:06:59,376
Let's get down to brass tacks.
110
00:06:59,585 --> 00:07:03,088
Fine. In the interest
of preserving our friendship...
111
00:07:03,297 --> 00:07:05,090
- We're not friends.
- Well...
112
00:07:05,299 --> 00:07:08,301
...that's a little hard to hear,
but all right.
113
00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:12,848
As you know, the essence of diplomacy
is compromise.
114
00:07:13,057 --> 00:07:15,600
With that in mind,
I propose the following.
115
00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:18,311
I will take Rothman's office...
116
00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:22,441
...and you will find a way
to be okay with that.
117
00:07:24,026 --> 00:07:28,697
How about I take Rothman's office
and you go suck a lemon?
118
00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:33,660
(CHUCKLES)
119
00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:37,956
You sure I can't get you
that cup of tea?
120
00:07:38,666 --> 00:07:43,378
How about you decide this with
Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock?
121
00:07:44,672 --> 00:07:46,089
What the frig is that?
122
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:49,134
Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock...
123
00:07:49,343 --> 00:07:51,845
...was created by Internet pioneer
Sam Kass...
124
00:07:52,054 --> 00:07:54,681
...as an improvement
on the game Rock, Paper, Scissors.
125
00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:56,057
All hail Sam Kass.
126
00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:58,018
ALL:
Hail.
127
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:00,395
How does it work?
128
00:08:00,605 --> 00:08:01,646
Oh, it's very simple.
129
00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:04,441
Scissors cuts paper,
paper covers rock...
130
00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:07,319
...rock crushes lizard,
lizard poisons Spock...
131
00:08:07,528 --> 00:08:10,655
...Spock smashes scissors,
scissors decapitates lizard...
132
00:08:10,865 --> 00:08:13,533
...lizard eats paper,
paper disproves Spock...
133
00:08:13,743 --> 00:08:15,494
...Spock vaporizes rock...
134
00:08:15,703 --> 00:08:18,997
...and, as it always has,
rock crushes scissors.
135
00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:24,961
I'm sorry, can you repeat that?
136
00:08:26,255 --> 00:08:29,216
Well, of course.
Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock...
137
00:08:29,425 --> 00:08:31,635
...rock crushes lizard,
lizard poisons Spock...
138
00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:34,513
...Spock smashes scissors,
scissors decapitates lizard...
139
00:08:34,722 --> 00:08:36,848
...lizard eats paper,
paper disproves Spock...
140
00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:38,266
...Spock vaporizes rock...
141
00:08:38,476 --> 00:08:41,645
...and, as it always has,
rock crushes scissors.
142
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:45,607
Almost got it. One more time.
143
00:08:45,816 --> 00:08:47,651
Scissors cuts paper,
paper covers rock...
144
00:08:47,860 --> 00:08:50,612
Sheldon, stop.
He's screwing with you.
145
00:08:51,822 --> 00:08:53,323
Is he?
146
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:56,618
Well, then,
seems we have reached an impasse.
147
00:08:56,827 --> 00:08:59,913
I see no other option
than to challenge you to a duel.
148
00:09:00,122 --> 00:09:04,167
I'd smack you with a glove, but just last
week, I packed away my winter things.
149
00:09:05,461 --> 00:09:08,380
It's the 21st century,
you can't have a duel.
150
00:09:08,589 --> 00:09:10,882
Hang on, Howard.
151
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:15,720
Barry, how good of a shot are you?
152
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:18,682
Not pistols. Minds.
153
00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:22,018
A trivia contest.
And you may choose the field of battle.
154
00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:25,313
Star Trek trivia,
Star Trek: Next Generation trivia...
155
00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:29,109
...Star Trek: Deep Space Nine trivia,
Star Trek: Voyagertrivia...
156
00:09:29,318 --> 00:09:31,611
...or model trains.
157
00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:35,907
You have an advantage in trivia.
You have an eidetic memory.
158
00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:37,826
Plus, I haven't watched Star Trek...
159
00:09:38,035 --> 00:09:41,955
...since I discovered the strip club
near my apartment has a free buffet.
160
00:09:43,207 --> 00:09:46,126
It's hard to find something
you're both equally good at.
161
00:09:46,335 --> 00:09:48,378
Is there anything
you're equally bad at?
162
00:09:48,879 --> 00:09:50,839
- Sports.
- Sports.
163
00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:57,137
All right, this is one-on-one,
first to five wins the office.
164
00:09:57,346 --> 00:09:59,055
Any questions? Yes, Sheldon.
165
00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:01,099
Five what?
166
00:10:02,810 --> 00:10:04,102
Balls in the basket.
167
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:08,857
(SQUEALS)
168
00:10:15,573 --> 00:10:16,656
(YELLS)
169
00:10:21,412 --> 00:10:23,163
That's out, right?
170
00:10:32,256 --> 00:10:34,799
Time. Ran out of room.
171
00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:40,930
You know those terrible things
bullies used to do to us?
172
00:10:41,140 --> 00:10:43,892
- Yeah?
- I get it.
173
00:10:49,690 --> 00:10:51,358
KRIPKE: Uhn!
SHELDON: Ow!
174
00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:56,821
Hey!
175
00:10:57,031 --> 00:10:59,366
- He did that on purpose.
- No, he didn't.
176
00:10:59,575 --> 00:11:03,119
Nothing that's happening here
is being done on purpose.
177
00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:08,249
Okay, forget one-on-one.
Let's try a free-throw contest.
178
00:11:08,459 --> 00:11:11,127
First person who makes a basket
wins the office.
179
00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:15,507
- Making it too easy there, Hofstadter.
- Nope. No, I'm not.
180
00:11:18,886 --> 00:11:22,972
Use the Force, Sheldon.
Use the Force.
181
00:11:26,727 --> 00:11:29,062
I'm gonna need more Force.
182
00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:33,483
All right, Cooper.
Prepare to have your heart broken.
183
00:11:34,735 --> 00:11:36,236
(BALL THUDS)
184
00:11:38,447 --> 00:11:40,532
Do I get points for that?
185
00:11:52,002 --> 00:11:53,503
Hah!
186
00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:59,467
(SHELDON & KRIPKE
GASPING & PANTING)
187
00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:02,554
All right, we gave it 45 minutes.
188
00:12:02,763 --> 00:12:05,849
It's no longer funny.
Let's try something else.
189
00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:07,642
What do you propose?
190
00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:11,271
Uh... On three, both of you
bounce the balls as hard as you can.
191
00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:12,981
Highest bounce wins the office.
192
00:12:13,190 --> 00:12:14,983
Oh, you are going down, Cooper.
193
00:12:15,192 --> 00:12:16,359
I don't think so, Kripke.
194
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,820
I've bounced many a rubber ball
in my day.
195
00:12:19,029 --> 00:12:21,030
All right. That's enough trash talk.
196
00:12:23,284 --> 00:12:26,870
One, two, three.
197
00:12:28,497 --> 00:12:30,081
Sheldon was higher.
198
00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:32,709
Congratulations, Sheldon,
you win the office.
199
00:12:32,918 --> 00:12:35,628
Who's unsatisfactory in PE now?
200
00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:40,925
MAN & WOMAN (SINGING OVER TV):
We go together
201
00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:44,429
Like rama lama lama
Ke ding a de dinga a dong
202
00:12:44,638 --> 00:12:46,389
Oh, what a great movie.
203
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:48,725
I cannot believe
you've never seen Grease.
204
00:12:48,934 --> 00:12:50,685
My mother didn't allow me
to watch it.
205
00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:53,646
She was afraid it might encourage me
to join a gang.
206
00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:57,650
I gotta go. I gotta get up early.
207
00:12:57,860 --> 00:13:01,196
My company's testing a new steroid
that doesn't shrink testicles...
208
00:13:01,405 --> 00:13:04,449
...and the last one there
has to do the measuring.
209
00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:08,036
Guess I should get going too.
210
00:13:08,913 --> 00:13:11,247
Good night, painting Penny.
211
00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:13,458
Good night, real Penny.
212
00:13:14,543 --> 00:13:15,794
Good night, real Amy.
213
00:13:17,087 --> 00:13:20,965
You don't have to say good night
to painting Amy, she's never leaving.
214
00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:26,846
- Good night, real Penny.
- Bye.
215
00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:29,140
Good night, transvestite Penny.
216
00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:31,643
(DOOR CLOSES)
217
00:13:31,852 --> 00:13:32,894
(SIGHS)
218
00:13:33,103 --> 00:13:36,898
Okay, let us take you off the wall.
219
00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:38,233
(GRUNTS)
220
00:13:38,442 --> 00:13:41,778
Out of sight, out of mind.
221
00:13:41,987 --> 00:13:43,822
I wish.
222
00:13:46,575 --> 00:13:47,992
Can I borrow that movie?
223
00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:50,912
Those singing hooligans
really got my motor running.
224
00:13:51,747 --> 00:13:53,081
Sure, sure. Enjoy.
225
00:13:53,290 --> 00:13:55,708
You get it back to me
when you can or...
226
00:13:55,918 --> 00:13:58,127
You keep it.
It's just gonna be my gift to you.
227
00:13:58,337 --> 00:14:01,798
Thank you. Wait...
Where'd the painting go?
228
00:14:02,466 --> 00:14:05,510
- It's right over there.
- Why?
229
00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:10,139
I have no idea. That is weird.
230
00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:13,726
You hate it.
231
00:14:13,936 --> 00:14:17,814
- No, no, no. It's just... it's a little big.
- I feel like an idiot.
232
00:14:18,023 --> 00:14:20,358
You're not an idiot.
Just help me put it back up.
233
00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:22,527
So you can just take it down
when I leave?
234
00:14:22,736 --> 00:14:24,946
- I don't need your pity.
- Oh, Amy, come on.
235
00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:28,283
I'm just glad
I didn't go for the sculpture.
236
00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:34,789
Ahh. The spoils.
237
00:14:34,999 --> 00:14:36,499
I see why victors love them.
238
00:14:38,168 --> 00:14:40,503
I'm happy for you, Sheldon,
but I have to admit...
239
00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:42,672
...I'm going to miss
sharing an office with you.
240
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:44,173
Oh, of course you are.
241
00:14:44,383 --> 00:14:46,092
Well, feel free to drop by any time.
242
00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:48,303
- Thank you.
- Yeah. Call first.
243
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:56,227
Oh, hello.
244
00:14:58,606 --> 00:14:59,647
Professor Rothman.
245
00:14:59,857 --> 00:15:02,859
This isn't your office anymore.
You're retired.
246
00:15:03,777 --> 00:15:08,072
I think the word you're looking for
is "invisible."
247
00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:14,662
I came to say I'm sorry.
248
00:15:14,872 --> 00:15:16,998
- Don't bother.
- Oh, Amy, please.
249
00:15:17,207 --> 00:15:20,627
I'm so humiliated. I sat there the whole
time we were watching Grease...
250
00:15:20,836 --> 00:15:23,171
- ...thinking you liked the painting.
- I know.
251
00:15:23,380 --> 00:15:25,089
I was a fool from "summer loving"...
252
00:15:25,299 --> 00:15:28,092
...to the last "rama lama lama
ke ding a de dinga a dong."
253
00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:30,595
You're absolutely right.
254
00:15:30,804 --> 00:15:33,973
I should have been honest
and told you the gift was too much.
255
00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:38,102
Yes, too much. Because our friendship
is fundamentally asymmetrical.
256
00:15:38,312 --> 00:15:41,230
I clearly like you
more than you like me.
257
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:44,567
I don't think you put a number
on how much one person likes another.
258
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:47,320
I bought you a painting
that's 12 square feet in area.
259
00:15:47,529 --> 00:15:48,613
There's a number.
260
00:15:49,573 --> 00:15:50,657
Amy, come...
261
00:15:50,866 --> 00:15:54,827
if you don't like feet, you can try dollars.
The painting set me back 3 grand.
262
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:56,996
Three gr...? Oh, my God.
263
00:15:58,832 --> 00:16:02,418
Look, Amy, all you need to know
is you are my friend.
264
00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:04,545
I don't wanna lose you out of my life.
265
00:16:05,005 --> 00:16:08,091
I'm sorry, I'm just having trouble
believing you right now.
266
00:16:11,261 --> 00:16:13,513
- Grab your hammer.
- No, damage is done.
267
00:16:16,308 --> 00:16:18,434
Okay, look, I didn't wanna say this...
268
00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:22,063
...but the real reason
I took the painting down...
269
00:16:22,272 --> 00:16:25,483
...was because it made Bernadette
very jealous.
270
00:16:26,944 --> 00:16:28,027
Oh, my goodness.
271
00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:30,405
How could I have not seen that?
272
00:16:30,614 --> 00:16:33,574
The painting is a constant reminder
that of the three of us...
273
00:16:33,784 --> 00:16:36,035
...she is the least cool.
274
00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:40,248
Yeah, that's what it is, so...
275
00:16:40,457 --> 00:16:44,377
- You have such a good heart.
- Oh. I try.
276
00:16:44,586 --> 00:16:47,797
- Come on.
- Well, where are we going?
277
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,549
We're gonna put this back up.
278
00:16:49,758 --> 00:16:50,883
What about Bernadette?
279
00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:54,178
Oh, screw her. She's just lucky
we let her hang out with us.
280
00:16:56,974 --> 00:16:58,975
(WHIRRING)
281
00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:18,036
What are you doing?
282
00:17:18,245 --> 00:17:20,413
I'm trying to raise the temperature
in here...
283
00:17:20,622 --> 00:17:23,374
...before my nipples
tear through my shirt.
284
00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:26,836
Why don't you
just turn up the thermostat?
285
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,463
Aha. Good question.
286
00:17:28,672 --> 00:17:32,175
It turns out that the thermostat
for my new office isn't in my new office.
287
00:17:32,384 --> 00:17:35,094
No, it's next door
in Professor Davenport's office...
288
00:17:35,304 --> 00:17:38,890
...who is currently enjoying the hot
flashes associated with menopause.
289
00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:41,768
Why is there a hole here?
290
00:17:41,977 --> 00:17:44,062
Why is there a hole in my new office?
291
00:17:44,271 --> 00:17:46,481
I've narrowed it down
to two possibilities.
292
00:17:46,690 --> 00:17:50,401
There was something in the wall
that someone outside the wall wanted.
293
00:17:50,611 --> 00:17:51,903
Or the more disturbing...
294
00:17:52,112 --> 00:17:54,947
...there was something in the wall
that wanted out.
295
00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:59,160
At least you got a window that opens.
That's nice.
296
00:17:59,369 --> 00:18:02,205
Oh. Is it? Listen.
297
00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:03,456
(WIND CHIMES TINKLING)
298
00:18:03,665 --> 00:18:07,043
- What, you don't like wind chimes?
- No, I hate them, but it gets worse.
299
00:18:08,962 --> 00:18:10,004
(BIRD TWEETING)
300
00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:12,590
- There it is.
- The bird?
301
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:16,219
Yeah, it's completely out of tune
with the wind chimes.
302
00:18:16,428 --> 00:18:18,429
- So?
- You don't get it, do you?
303
00:18:18,639 --> 00:18:21,557
That's a mockingbird.
Mockingbirds can change their song...
304
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:23,810
...which means
he's out of tune on purpose.
305
00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:26,854
He's mocking me.
306
00:18:27,064 --> 00:18:28,106
(RUMBLING)
307
00:18:28,315 --> 00:18:30,274
Oh, dear, there it is again.
Do you feel it?
308
00:18:30,484 --> 00:18:34,320
The growing realization
that you are one wacky bastard? Yep.
309
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:36,405
No. The vibration.
310
00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:38,741
We are directly
underneath the geology lab...
311
00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:41,244
...and they're running
their sieve shakers again.
312
00:18:41,453 --> 00:18:43,579
Hey, gravel monkeys,
you need to shake rocks?
313
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:45,873
Try jiggling your heads around!
314
00:18:46,333 --> 00:18:48,876
- Sheldon, relax.
- How can I relax?
315
00:18:49,086 --> 00:18:52,380
My nervous system is being
stretched out like the strings of a harp...
316
00:18:52,589 --> 00:18:55,049
...and plucked by holes
and birds and wind...
317
00:18:55,259 --> 00:18:59,846
...and the low-hanging scrotum of the
difficult-to-evict Professor Rothman.
318
00:19:01,431 --> 00:19:04,100
If you're not happy,
just let Kripke have the office.
319
00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:07,436
Wait, and let him win?
Do I look crazy to you?
320
00:19:07,646 --> 00:19:11,566
We're trying to think down here,
you geode-loving feldspar jockeys!
321
00:19:11,775 --> 00:19:15,528
And you,
the notes are C, D, E, G and A.
322
00:19:15,737 --> 00:19:18,322
You pick one
or I'm chopping down that tree!
323
00:19:24,079 --> 00:19:27,623
- How's that?
- Little higher on the right.
324
00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:29,542
- Now?
- Little more.
325
00:19:29,751 --> 00:19:31,919
No. That's got it.
326
00:19:33,922 --> 00:19:36,382
Yeah, okay. That's good.
327
00:19:37,926 --> 00:19:40,094
- I'll let you in on a little secret.
- Mm.
328
00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:43,139
Originally, we were painted nude.
329
00:19:49,563 --> 00:19:53,149
But I had him add clothes because
it was an unnecessary challenge...
330
00:19:53,358 --> 00:19:55,735
...to our heterosexuality.
331
00:19:57,446 --> 00:19:59,280
Yeah, good call.
332
00:19:59,948 --> 00:20:02,700
If you change your mind, all it
would take is some warm soapy water...
333
00:20:02,910 --> 00:20:04,911
...and a couple of sponges.
334
00:20:06,413 --> 00:20:09,332
- You're talking about the painting, right?
- Sure.
335
00:20:14,463 --> 00:20:16,839
SHELDON:
Help! Somebody, help!
336
00:20:20,636 --> 00:20:21,677
What happened?
337
00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:25,556
I was trying to see what was in here
and my head got stuck.
338
00:20:26,350 --> 00:20:27,683
Why would you do that?
339
00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:30,353
SHELDON:
It's called scientific curiosity.
340
00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:33,773
Now go get butter.
341
00:20:33,982 --> 00:20:37,276
Okay, okay. Hang in there.
I'll be right back.
27701
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof