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1
00:00:04,129 --> 00:00:06,755
It's amazing people keep coming
to comic book stores...
2
00:00:06,923 --> 00:00:10,300
...instead of just downloading
comics digitally.
3
00:00:10,468 --> 00:00:11,802
It's probably for the best.
4
00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:14,263
For a lot of these guys,
the weekly trip here...
5
00:00:14,431 --> 00:00:17,766
...is the only chance their mom has to go
to the basement and change their sheets.
6
00:00:17,934 --> 00:00:19,101
(ALL CHUCKLE)
7
00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:22,521
Oh, that reminds me,
I get fresh sheets tonight. Yay.
8
00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:28,318
Well, what do you think
of new comic book night?
9
00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:30,821
Magic, huh?
10
00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:32,698
Sheldon, I'm disappointed.
11
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:35,034
As a brilliant man,
you're entitled to a vice.
12
00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:37,369
I could understand frequenting
an opium den...
13
00:00:37,537 --> 00:00:40,164
...or hunting your fellow man
for sport.
14
00:00:40,331 --> 00:00:43,417
But this? Lame-o.
15
00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:48,172
A, comic books employ storytelling
through sequential art...
16
00:00:48,339 --> 00:00:52,092
...a medium that dates back 17,000 years
to the cave paintings of Lascaux...
17
00:00:52,510 --> 00:00:55,763
...and B, you play the harp,
like that's cool.
18
00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:01,518
Can I help you find anything?
19
00:01:01,686 --> 00:01:05,606
A comic that depicts a woman whose
bosom can't be used as a flotation device.
20
00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:10,694
Sorry. Most of the guys
who come in here like big boobs.
21
00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:12,404
A couple of them have big boobs.
22
00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:17,326
The new Warlords of Ka'a
expansion pack is out.
23
00:01:17,494 --> 00:01:19,411
A new one? Unbelievable.
24
00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:21,872
They just keep making up
more cheesy monsters...
25
00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:25,209
...slapping them on cards
and selling them at 25 bucks a pop.
26
00:01:25,376 --> 00:01:28,670
It's like a secret tax on guys
who can't get laid.
27
00:01:29,881 --> 00:01:33,675
They're not even trying. Remember the
Satanimals pack with the Hellephant?
28
00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:36,887
Absurd. What was he, a bad elephant
who died and went to hell?
29
00:01:37,847 --> 00:01:41,683
What could an elephant possibly do that
would cause him eternal damnation?
30
00:01:41,851 --> 00:01:43,060
"Wild West and Witches."
31
00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:46,480
What kind of loser
cares about a showdown...
32
00:01:46,648 --> 00:01:50,400
...between Billy the Kid
and the White Wizard of the North? Heh.
33
00:01:50,568 --> 00:01:52,194
A total loser.
34
00:01:52,362 --> 00:01:55,781
Obviously, a guy with a six-shooter
beats an old man with a magic wand.
35
00:01:57,617 --> 00:01:59,034
Well, ho... hold on.
36
00:02:00,495 --> 00:02:03,330
Uh, what if the wizard casts
a helmet-of-confusion spell...
37
00:02:03,498 --> 00:02:05,374
...on Billy the Kid's cowboy hat?
38
00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:09,002
What? Please.
This is Billy the Kid we're talking about.
39
00:02:09,170 --> 00:02:11,713
The wizard would get shot
before he could get out the words:
40
00:02:11,881 --> 00:02:15,592
"What the hell is Billy the Kid doing
in the mystic realm of Ka'a?"
41
00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:18,345
Leonard, ahem...
42
00:02:18,513 --> 00:02:20,973
...what's the deal
with Sheldon's friend Amy?
43
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:23,433
- Are they a couple?
- A couple of weirdos. Why?
44
00:02:23,601 --> 00:02:25,144
(ALL CHUCKLE)
45
00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:26,436
Are you interested in Amy?
46
00:02:26,604 --> 00:02:28,647
Well, I mean,
she didn't look through me...
47
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:33,569
...with soul-sucking, ball-shriveling
hatred and contempt.
48
00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:35,320
I like that in a woman.
49
00:02:36,781 --> 00:02:39,449
Could you run it by Sheldon
if I could ask her out?
50
00:02:39,617 --> 00:02:40,993
Sure, I guess.
51
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,828
Stuart, settle an argument for us.
52
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:45,873
Who would win,
Billy the Kid or the white Wizard?
53
00:02:46,082 --> 00:02:47,124
(CHUCKLES)
54
00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:50,919
If I tell you that, I'm robbing you
of the hours of fun you could have...
55
00:02:51,087 --> 00:02:56,300
...for the magical, rootin'-tootin
low price of 24.95.
56
00:02:57,802 --> 00:03:00,304
- I'll take one.
- Mm. Make it two.
57
00:03:00,889 --> 00:03:02,973
I hate all of you and myself. Three.
58
00:03:04,350 --> 00:03:05,976
I'll ring it up.
59
00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:10,105
Like shooting nerds in a barrel.
60
00:03:35,298 --> 00:03:39,551
Hey, can I talk to you about something?
It's a little awkward.
61
00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:42,095
I know what this is about.
62
00:03:42,263 --> 00:03:44,431
Given the professional standstill
you're at...
63
00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:47,184
...you're wondering
if this is the appropriate time...
64
00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:50,229
...to abandon your research
and focus on teaching.
65
00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:55,901
Yes.
66
00:03:57,528 --> 00:04:00,364
And if I may suggest,
consider changing disciplines.
67
00:04:00,531 --> 00:04:03,450
Yeah, to the humanities.
Perhaps, history.
68
00:04:03,618 --> 00:04:05,702
One of the advantages
of teaching history...
69
00:04:05,870 --> 00:04:08,038
...is that you don't have
to create things.
70
00:04:08,206 --> 00:04:10,999
You know, you just have to remember
stuff that happened...
71
00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:13,377
...and then parrot it back.
72
00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:15,379
You could have fun with that.
73
00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:18,215
Yeah, that's not it.
74
00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:20,676
Stuart's kind of interested in Amy.
75
00:04:20,843 --> 00:04:23,095
Well, of course, he is.
She's very interesting.
76
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,222
Did you know, when she was 14...
77
00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:27,933
...she severed the webbing
between her own toes?
78
00:04:30,061 --> 00:04:32,062
No. Uh...
79
00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:37,150
He wanted me to find out if you'd have
a problem with him asking her out.
80
00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:42,155
Well, I'm not sure how to respond,
Leonard.
81
00:04:42,323 --> 00:04:46,702
I mean, I don't own Amy.
You can't own a person.
82
00:04:46,869 --> 00:04:49,663
At least, not since...
83
00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:55,961
1863.
84
00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:00,173
President Lincoln freed the...
85
00:05:02,385 --> 00:05:05,387
The slaves. Come on, Leonard,
if you're gonna teach history...
86
00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:08,015
...these are the kind of facts
you'll have to know.
87
00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:12,102
You know what? Never mind.
I'm gonna tell him it's okay to ask her out.
88
00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:15,355
The question is moot.
There is no way that Stuart...
89
00:05:15,523 --> 00:05:17,691
...an impoverished peddler
of picture books...
90
00:05:17,859 --> 00:05:20,485
...would be at all appealing
to Amy Farrah Fowler...
91
00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:22,237
...a noted neurobiologist...
92
00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:24,865
...capable of performing surgery
on her own feet...
93
00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:29,828
...with nothing but nitrous oxide from
cans of whipped cream as anesthesia.
94
00:05:30,913 --> 00:05:32,539
All right, but for the record...
95
00:05:32,707 --> 00:05:35,375
...I checked in with you
to see how you'd feel about it.
96
00:05:35,543 --> 00:05:38,003
Fine. The record shall so reflect.
97
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,255
Now, getting back
to the problem at hand...
98
00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:43,800
...what to do with a washed-up
experimental physicist.
99
00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:48,013
I am not washed-up.
100
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,515
Oh, Leonard.
101
00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:53,101
Lots of people love you
and want to help you...
102
00:05:53,269 --> 00:05:56,396
...but they can't
until you admit the problem.
103
00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:01,985
Ugh. Well, ladies, we killed the bottle.
104
00:06:02,445 --> 00:06:04,946
- I had half a glass.
- I didn't have any.
105
00:06:05,114 --> 00:06:06,782
Okay, don't judge me.
106
00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:11,161
So, what do you wanna do?
Go to the movies, go dancing...
107
00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:13,163
...lay down for a little bit? Ahem.
108
00:06:14,624 --> 00:06:16,833
Or we play...
109
00:06:17,001 --> 00:06:18,460
...Travel Twister.
110
00:06:19,420 --> 00:06:21,880
Amy, really? Twister?
111
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:25,258
Excuse me, I've passed many
an enjoyable evening playing this game.
112
00:06:25,426 --> 00:06:28,762
And I'm sure it's a lot more exciting
when you play with other people.
113
00:06:30,431 --> 00:06:34,017
What do you say, bestie? We can do
shirts and skins. I'm shirts. Called it.
114
00:06:35,269 --> 00:06:37,479
(PHONE BUZZES)
115
00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:40,524
I'm too small for Twister.
And roller coasters.
116
00:06:40,691 --> 00:06:42,943
And sitting with my feet on the floor.
117
00:06:44,362 --> 00:06:48,073
Hope you enjoyed
the prenatal cigarettes, mom.
118
00:06:50,451 --> 00:06:53,078
Hey, my mom smoked pot
when she was pregnant with me...
119
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:54,704
...and I turned out just fine.
120
00:06:54,872 --> 00:06:57,999
Hey, look, I have peach schnapps.
Thank God.
121
00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:01,545
- Guys, something happened.
- What's wrong?
122
00:07:01,712 --> 00:07:04,339
I think a boy likes me.
123
00:07:05,341 --> 00:07:08,718
"Hi. It's Stuart.
We met at the comic book store.
124
00:07:08,886 --> 00:07:12,639
I was wondering if you'd like to get
coffee sometime. It's okay if you say no.
125
00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:16,935
It might be the kick in the pants I need
to start taking Zoloft."
126
00:07:18,479 --> 00:07:20,063
Amy, you little vixen.
127
00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:23,275
Just working it under all those layers
of wool and polyester.
128
00:07:25,027 --> 00:07:27,904
What are you gonna do?
Doesn't he know you have a boyfriend?
129
00:07:28,072 --> 00:07:31,241
Oh, she doesn't have a boyfriend,
she has a Sheldon.
130
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:34,828
- So do you like Stuart?
- I don't know.
131
00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:38,748
He's nice. He's funny.
He has the sallow-drawn countenance...
132
00:07:38,916 --> 00:07:42,502
...associated with an overactive
thyroid gland. That's kind of hot.
133
00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:47,549
Look, sweetie, we all love Sheldon, but
you've been with him over a year now.
134
00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:50,635
If it's not going anywhere,
what does it hurt to look around?
135
00:07:50,803 --> 00:07:53,597
Yeah, I guess they're not engaged
like me and Howie.
136
00:07:53,764 --> 00:07:58,185
For what it's worth, engaged people can
look around too. Lot of options out there.
137
00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:08,403
Where's Stuart?
138
00:08:08,571 --> 00:08:09,613
(SNICKERS)
139
00:08:09,780 --> 00:08:11,072
Out.
140
00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:17,078
- Who are you?
- I'm Dale. He left me in charge.
141
00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:21,833
- Really?
- Yeah.
142
00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:23,877
I don't get it either.
143
00:08:27,256 --> 00:08:31,218
I wanna return this Wild West
and Witches Ka'a expansion pack.
144
00:08:31,385 --> 00:08:35,096
Sorry, I don't do returns. They're hard.
145
00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:37,849
Sure, sure.
146
00:08:39,268 --> 00:08:42,812
- Uh, when will Stuart be back?
- I don't know. He went out for coffee.
147
00:08:42,980 --> 00:08:44,022
With a girl.
148
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:45,982
(CHUCKLES)
149
00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:48,735
Ah. I guess I was wrong.
150
00:08:50,238 --> 00:08:51,947
You okay?
151
00:08:52,323 --> 00:08:55,617
Am I okay?
Leonard, I'm on a lifelong trajectory...
152
00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:58,912
...that includes a Nobel Prize
and cities named after me.
153
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:02,916
All four wisdom teeth fit comfortably
in my mouth without need of extraction...
154
00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:05,961
...and my bowel movements run
like a German train schedule.
155
00:09:08,422 --> 00:09:10,757
Am I okay?
156
00:09:11,759 --> 00:09:13,009
I'm okay too.
157
00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:24,062
Wild Bill Witchcock.
158
00:09:25,898 --> 00:09:29,192
A tribe of Abra-Comanches.
159
00:09:33,614 --> 00:09:35,907
Flaming Spittoon.
160
00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:39,452
And for the record,
I'm very disappointed in you, cowpokes.
161
00:09:39,620 --> 00:09:42,539
We're playing our inaugural round
of Wild West and witches...
162
00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:45,959
...and I'm the only one who bothered
to dress for the occasion.
163
00:09:46,502 --> 00:09:47,669
Patooie.
164
00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:52,591
We're not wearing cowboy hats,
Sheldon. It looks ridiculous.
165
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:56,928
And I suppose my boots and spurs
are ridiculous too?
166
00:09:57,513 --> 00:09:59,306
HOWARD & LEONARD: Yeah.
RAJESH: Incredibly so.
167
00:10:00,224 --> 00:10:03,018
Did it look ridiculous
when we got the Satanimals pack...
168
00:10:03,185 --> 00:10:06,730
...and I dressed up as a Beelzebobcat?
169
00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:09,274
HOWARD & LEONARD: Yeah.
RAJESH: Incredibly so.
170
00:10:10,359 --> 00:10:11,985
All right, fine. Let's just play.
171
00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:15,447
We should go easy on him.
Amy's out with Stuart tonight.
172
00:10:15,656 --> 00:10:17,407
Wait a minute. Are you telling me...
173
00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:22,203
...that Sheldon's patented blend
of condescension and no sex...
174
00:10:22,371 --> 00:10:24,247
...isn't enough to hold on to a woman?
175
00:10:28,544 --> 00:10:31,546
Cluck. Cluck. Cluck.
What are we, ladies at a quilting bee?
176
00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:33,798
Or are we men
playing a fantasy card game...
177
00:10:33,966 --> 00:10:36,384
...set in a magical frontier town?
178
00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:39,429
Sorry.
179
00:10:39,597 --> 00:10:42,140
Creepy Tepee.
180
00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:46,770
Annie Ogly.
181
00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:51,107
Hocus Pocus Pocahontas.
182
00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:53,610
And may I point out,
it is the three of you...
183
00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:56,363
...who are obsessed
with Stuart and Amy, not me.
184
00:10:56,530 --> 00:10:59,908
I think you need to ask yourselves
who's really being ridiculous here.
185
00:11:00,951 --> 00:11:03,078
(SPURS CLANGING)
186
00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:10,418
- It's you.
- You are.
187
00:11:13,255 --> 00:11:14,381
Hey, guys, check it out.
188
00:11:14,548 --> 00:11:17,717
The deluxe limited edition
Wild West and Witches expansion pack...
189
00:11:17,885 --> 00:11:20,095
...in the signed and numbered
collector's tin.
190
00:11:20,262 --> 00:11:23,973
Come on, no.
We just bought the regular pack.
191
00:11:24,141 --> 00:11:26,476
Ooh. A sheriff's badge. Ha, ha.
192
00:11:27,186 --> 00:11:30,021
Yeah, it's also a wand.
193
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:34,317
With a hologram? Nice.
194
00:11:34,568 --> 00:11:35,610
Hey, do you see this?
195
00:11:35,778 --> 00:11:38,196
I'm in the matrix, Leonard,
I see everything.
196
00:11:39,031 --> 00:11:42,200
You gotta be kidding me.
You friended Stuart on Facebook?
197
00:11:42,368 --> 00:11:44,869
- I thought you didn't like Facebook.
- Don't be silly.
198
00:11:45,037 --> 00:11:48,748
I'm a fan of anything that tries to replace
actual human contact.
199
00:11:50,584 --> 00:11:53,795
Please. You're looking at Facebook
to find out how their date went.
200
00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:56,297
Really? You think I care if a man...
201
00:11:56,465 --> 00:12:00,719
...what, "Shared a pumpkin latte
with a dynamite lady"?
202
00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:05,306
- You're so full of it.
- You're free to believe whatever you like.
203
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:08,685
And unfriend Rajesh Koothrappali.
204
00:12:08,853 --> 00:12:10,270
You unfriended me? Seriously?
205
00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:13,356
Oh, yeah. Now he's gonna miss
all those great updates like:
206
00:12:13,524 --> 00:12:15,024
"I can't believe I waited this long...
207
00:12:15,192 --> 00:12:17,652
(IN INDIAN ACCENT)
...to make my own potpourri." Ha, ha.
208
00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:21,448
Why don't you acknowledge
you have feelings for Amy...
209
00:12:21,615 --> 00:12:23,825
...and don't want her going out
with other men?
210
00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:27,495
And unfriend Leonard Hofstadter.
211
00:12:27,705 --> 00:12:31,040
Here's a radical thought. Go old school.
Challenge Stuart to a fight.
212
00:12:31,208 --> 00:12:34,252
Nothing makes the ladies hotter
than two skinny white guys...
213
00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:36,796
...swatting at each other
with their eyes closed.
214
00:12:39,508 --> 00:12:41,426
And unfriend Howard Wolowitz.
215
00:12:42,678 --> 00:12:44,763
That's all of us. Can I use the laptop?
216
00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:49,100
- Why?
- I have to buy that stupid collector's tin.
217
00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:56,357
PENNY: Who do we love?
- Penny.
218
00:12:57,485 --> 00:12:59,444
Hello, Sheldon. Come on in.
219
00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:01,696
- Thank you.
- What's up?
220
00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:07,368
I came to ask if you would like
to go on a date with me.
221
00:13:08,704 --> 00:13:10,205
I'm sorry, what?
222
00:13:10,706 --> 00:13:12,499
A date. You and me.
223
00:13:12,666 --> 00:13:16,002
Dining, dancing,
perhaps you'd like to take in a prizefight.
224
00:13:16,170 --> 00:13:17,378
(MICROWAVE BEEPS)
225
00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:21,341
Ugh, God,
are you trying to make Amy jealous?
226
00:13:21,509 --> 00:13:25,136
No. Why is everyone so obsessed
with Amy and Stuart?
227
00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:29,808
Whether or not they may be having more
pumpkin lattes or intercourse tonight.
228
00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:32,519
Okay, listen to me.
229
00:13:32,686 --> 00:13:35,522
Playing games is not gonna help
get Amy back.
230
00:13:35,689 --> 00:13:37,732
I am not trying to get her back.
231
00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:40,985
But out of curiosity, what is a way?
232
00:13:41,362 --> 00:13:43,363
All right, honey,
let me tell you a story.
233
00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:46,241
There was a guy I liked,
and I never told him how I felt.
234
00:13:46,408 --> 00:13:50,370
Eventually, he started going out with
someone else and I always regretted it.
235
00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:52,497
Do you see where I'm going with this?
236
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:55,166
- I believe I do.
- Hmm.
237
00:13:55,334 --> 00:13:57,377
I'm the guy.
238
00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:02,257
You're not the guy.
239
00:14:03,008 --> 00:14:05,844
Are you sure?
That would explain so much.
240
00:14:06,011 --> 00:14:08,346
Your constant presence
in my apartment...
241
00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:11,432
...that baffling dalliance with Leonard
just to be near me...
242
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:14,769
...the way you call me sweetie
all the time.
243
00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:16,938
- I call everyone sweetie.
- You tramp.
244
00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:18,398
Ugh.
245
00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:23,778
Look, Sheldon, all I'm saying
is strap on a pair and go talk to Amy.
246
00:14:24,238 --> 00:14:28,408
Strap on a pair? Wait. Of what, skates?
247
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:32,912
Oh, sweetie, you are so not the guy.
248
00:14:35,791 --> 00:14:37,792
(DRAMATIC STRING MUSIC
PLAYING ON FILM)
249
00:14:39,795 --> 00:14:43,965
If you're bored, you can go.
I understand.
250
00:14:45,593 --> 00:14:46,968
No, I'm having a nice time.
251
00:14:47,177 --> 00:14:48,219
(SCOFFS)
252
00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:50,179
Don't patronize me.
253
00:14:52,433 --> 00:14:55,727
Excuse me. Excuse me. Pardon me.
Excuse me.
254
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,645
Pardon me. Excuse me.
255
00:14:57,813 --> 00:14:59,147
- Hi, Stuart.
- Hi, Sheldon.
256
00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:02,317
Pardon me. Excuse me. Excuse me.
257
00:15:04,194 --> 00:15:05,778
(SHELDON SIGHS)
258
00:15:06,196 --> 00:15:08,156
Sheldon, what are you doing here?
259
00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:10,783
The thought of you
sitting in a darkened theater...
260
00:15:10,951 --> 00:15:14,120
...with a character like Stuart
is repellent.
261
00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:19,125
- No offense, Stuart.
- None taken.
262
00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:23,338
Although repellent
is kind of a strong word.
263
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:28,635
I'm sorry this causes you discomfort...
264
00:15:28,802 --> 00:15:32,430
...but based on the currently established
parameters of our relationship...
265
00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:35,183
...I can put myself
in any repellent situation I want.
266
00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:39,145
- Um... Again...
- Stuart, please, you're being rude.
267
00:15:41,649 --> 00:15:43,691
Anything else?
268
00:15:43,984 --> 00:15:50,114
I believe I would like to alter
the paradigm of our relationship.
269
00:15:52,534 --> 00:15:53,993
I'm listening.
270
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:58,623
With the understanding
that nothing changes whatsoever...
271
00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:00,708
...physical or otherwise...
272
00:16:00,876 --> 00:16:05,880
...I would not object
to us no longer characterizing you...
273
00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:09,342
...as "not my girlfriend."
274
00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:19,644
Interesting. Now try it without
the quadruple negative.
275
00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:23,147
You're being impossible.
276
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:25,900
Hi, Stuart.
277
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,779
Fine.
278
00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:32,407
Amy...
279
00:16:33,659 --> 00:16:36,703
...will you be my girlfriend?
280
00:16:43,752 --> 00:16:46,379
- Yes.
- Well, that's enough of that.
281
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,717
Sorry to interrupt.
You two enjoy your date.
282
00:16:50,884 --> 00:16:54,929
Here's a dollar for your troubles.
Get yourself some Sour Patch Kids.
283
00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:58,224
Excuse me. Excuse me. Pardon me.
284
00:17:01,562 --> 00:17:06,524
Other than you taking your relationship
to the next level with another guy...
285
00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:08,526
...this was nice.
286
00:17:10,612 --> 00:17:12,780
Yes, well,
thanks for seeing me to my door.
287
00:17:12,948 --> 00:17:14,115
Oh, you're welcome.
288
00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:15,324
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
289
00:17:15,492 --> 00:17:17,785
SHELDON:
Amy? Amy? Amy?
290
00:17:19,913 --> 00:17:22,457
Let's wrap things up out there.
291
00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:29,047
- Um... Good night, Stuart.
- Good night.
292
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:35,053
SHELDON: Take the hint, Stuart.
The lady said good night.
293
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:40,600
How did you get into my apartment?
294
00:17:40,768 --> 00:17:44,645
Wow. Is that the kind of nagging
I can expect now that you're my girlfriend?
295
00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:48,858
Good thing I drew this up.
296
00:17:49,401 --> 00:17:50,443
What's that?
297
00:17:50,611 --> 00:17:54,906
I present to you
the relationship agreement.
298
00:17:58,243 --> 00:18:02,622
A binding covenant that, in its 31 pages,
enumerates, iterates and codifies...
299
00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:05,625
...the rights and responsibilities
of Sheldon Lee Cooper...
300
00:18:05,793 --> 00:18:07,960
...here and after known as
"the boyfriend"...
301
00:18:08,128 --> 00:18:13,174
...and Amy Farrah Fowler,
here and after known as "the girlfriend."
302
00:18:15,010 --> 00:18:17,303
It's so romantic.
303
00:18:18,639 --> 00:18:20,348
Mutual indemnification always is.
304
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:28,397
Why don't you start perusing
while I set up my notary stamp.
305
00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:31,526
"Section 5: Hand-holding.
306
00:18:31,693 --> 00:18:34,695
Hand-holding is only allowed
under the following circumstances.
307
00:18:34,905 --> 00:18:39,367
A, either party is in danger
of falling off a cliff, precipice or ledge.
308
00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:44,372
B, either party is deserving of a hearty
handshake after winning a Nobel Prize.
309
00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:48,000
C, moral support during flu shots."
310
00:18:50,712 --> 00:18:53,965
- Seems a bit restrictive.
- Yeah, well, feel free to retain a lawyer.
311
00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:06,310
Penny, I said, "Right hand, red."
312
00:19:06,478 --> 00:19:09,522
Yeah, I heard you. I got red. Ahem.
313
00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:12,733
Bernadette...
314
00:19:13,235 --> 00:19:15,278
...left foot, yellow.
315
00:19:15,445 --> 00:19:16,946
(BERNADETTE GRUNTS)
316
00:19:17,114 --> 00:19:20,449
We should play limbo next.
No one beats me at limbo.
317
00:19:21,869 --> 00:19:22,910
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
318
00:19:23,078 --> 00:19:26,581
SHELDON:
Penny? Amy? Bernadette?
319
00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:28,833
That's my boyfriend.
320
00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:30,251
It's open.
321
00:19:31,587 --> 00:19:32,879
I got a splinter.
322
00:19:34,256 --> 00:19:35,923
What do you want me to do about it?
323
00:19:36,091 --> 00:19:38,759
Relationship Agreement
Section 4: Boo-boos and Ouchies.
324
00:19:38,927 --> 00:19:40,678
You have to take care of it.
325
00:19:41,555 --> 00:19:43,973
I should've gotten a lawyer.
326
00:19:46,768 --> 00:19:48,436
Looks like it's just us playing.
327
00:19:48,604 --> 00:19:50,605
(PENNY SNORING)
328
00:19:55,110 --> 00:19:56,986
Penny?
329
00:19:59,615 --> 00:20:03,284
- Penny, we're out of wine.
- You should probably drive.
27319
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