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1
00:00:03,420 --> 00:00:08,424
And reverse the spin
on the antiproton...
2
00:00:08,591 --> 00:00:12,261
...and gamma becomes alpha.
3
00:00:12,429 --> 00:00:17,433
Multiplied by a matrix
of negative I comma zero.
4
00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:19,018
And there we have it.
5
00:00:19,602 --> 00:00:24,314
Conclusive proof that
I am absolutely worthless after 9:00.
6
00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:30,779
SPOOKY VOICE:
Sheldon.
7
00:00:31,948 --> 00:00:35,784
Sheldon.
8
00:00:41,958 --> 00:00:43,250
Hmm.
9
00:00:43,418 --> 00:00:45,627
(ENERGY CRACKLING)
10
00:00:50,425 --> 00:00:54,136
All right, all right.
11
00:00:54,345 --> 00:00:56,472
I see what's going on.
12
00:00:56,639 --> 00:01:00,267
A little pre-Halloween hijinkery.
13
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:03,020
(MOANING)
14
00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:04,354
(WOMAN CACKLING)
15
00:01:04,522 --> 00:01:06,482
(CHAIN RATTLING)
16
00:01:06,649 --> 00:01:12,946
A ghostly moan, a rattling of chains,
a witch's cackle.
17
00:01:13,114 --> 00:01:16,658
Trifecta of haunted house clichés.
18
00:01:16,868 --> 00:01:20,370
Instead of "Eek," I say, "Yawn."
19
00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:26,251
SPOOKY VOICE:
Sheldon.
20
00:01:28,838 --> 00:01:31,298
Oh, the walls are dripping blood...
21
00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:34,968
...which looks nothing
like a phenolphthalein indicator...
22
00:01:35,136 --> 00:01:38,013
...exposed to a sodium carbonate
solution.
23
00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:44,436
"See you in hell, Sheldon."
24
00:01:44,604 --> 00:01:49,191
The most frightening thing about that
is the missing comma.
25
00:01:50,485 --> 00:01:52,653
(SCREAMS THEN PANTS)
26
00:01:52,821 --> 00:01:56,115
Okay, heh, all right.
27
00:01:56,282 --> 00:01:58,367
That one was clever.
28
00:01:58,535 --> 00:02:02,037
Skeleton with phosphorous
on a zip line.
29
00:02:02,205 --> 00:02:06,708
Come on out, merry pranksters.
Take a bow.
30
00:02:08,711 --> 00:02:09,962
(BOTH LAUGHING)
31
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:12,881
- You should've seen your face.
- Yes.
32
00:02:13,049 --> 00:02:18,554
There's nothing quite like the slightly
widened eyes of mildly startled.
33
00:02:18,721 --> 00:02:20,222
Come on, admit it. We got you.
34
00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:24,518
Please. Fright depends on
an element of surprise.
35
00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:28,021
The simple fact is,
because I am much smarter than you...
36
00:02:28,189 --> 00:02:30,190
...and able to anticipate your actions...
37
00:02:30,358 --> 00:02:35,571
...it is highly unlikely that you two rubes
could ever surprise me.
38
00:02:35,738 --> 00:02:39,032
- He's probably right.
- We can't beat him. He's just too smart.
39
00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:40,993
Gentlemen.
40
00:02:41,202 --> 00:02:42,953
(SCREAMS)
41
00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:45,581
(ALL LAUGHING)
42
00:02:46,207 --> 00:02:48,375
Okay, who had money on "faints"?
43
00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:49,877
I had "pee his pants."
44
00:02:50,461 --> 00:02:53,088
Hang on.
Looks like everyone's a winner.
45
00:02:53,339 --> 00:02:54,381
(CHUCKLING)
46
00:03:18,823 --> 00:03:20,282
Oh, watch out, Sheldon.
47
00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:23,160
This little boy Casper
is a gh... Gh... Gh... Ghost!
48
00:03:23,328 --> 00:03:25,787
- Ha-ha-ha.
- Droll.
49
00:03:25,997 --> 00:03:30,375
Eh, not as droll as a grown man
passed out in a puddle of his own urine.
50
00:03:30,585 --> 00:03:31,627
(ALL CHUCKLE)
51
00:03:31,794 --> 00:03:34,254
That was pretty droll.
With a hint of ammonia.
52
00:03:36,799 --> 00:03:38,884
Yes, enjoy your japes, gentlemen.
53
00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:41,595
Think you've poked fun
at a milquetoast academic.
54
00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:43,222
You've forgotten one thing.
55
00:03:43,389 --> 00:03:47,559
I am also a son of the Lone Star State.
I'm Texas through and through.
56
00:03:48,102 --> 00:03:51,146
And we know how
to settle scores down there.
57
00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:54,399
If you doubt me, ask Mexico.
58
00:03:57,403 --> 00:03:59,488
Hot girl, 9 o'clock.
59
00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:02,658
Don't everybody look at once.
60
00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:06,453
What is she doing
in a comic book store?
61
00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:10,499
I don't know. She might be lost.
62
00:04:11,125 --> 00:04:14,628
Doesn't matter. Watch and learn.
63
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:21,343
- Hi.
- Hi.
64
00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:25,180
That's, um...
65
00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:26,932
It... It... It...
66
00:04:33,606 --> 00:04:35,274
Shut up.
67
00:04:37,652 --> 00:04:39,444
- Are you getting this Next Men?
- Uh, yeah.
68
00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:41,989
It's issue number 21,
first appearance of Hellboy.
69
00:04:42,156 --> 00:04:44,700
I know.
I've been looking for it for years.
70
00:04:44,867 --> 00:04:47,494
- Sorry.
- Hey, if I pretended to hit on you...
71
00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:50,205
...could I distract you enough
to sneak it away?
72
00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:55,377
Yes, but you'd be using
your superpowers for evil.
73
00:04:55,586 --> 00:04:58,714
Damn, I'm forbidden
by my Kryptonian father to do so.
74
00:04:58,881 --> 00:05:00,215
(CHUCKLES)
75
00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:02,843
- I'm Alice.
- Um, Leonard.
76
00:05:03,386 --> 00:05:04,636
You're very cute, Leonard.
77
00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:07,556
Thanks. You too.
You know, go ahead and take it.
78
00:05:08,891 --> 00:05:11,727
No, no, no, I... I did evil.
79
00:05:11,894 --> 00:05:15,022
- Would you be open to a trade?
- Uh, yeah, yeah, sure, I guess.
80
00:05:15,189 --> 00:05:18,358
Okay. Here. This is my number.
81
00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:21,903
- Call me.
- Sorry, palm's a little sweaty.
82
00:05:22,113 --> 00:05:23,572
What's that word?
83
00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:26,491
- Alice.
- Oh, right, your name.
84
00:05:26,659 --> 00:05:28,910
That makes more sense than "penis."
85
00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:32,205
Later.
86
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:37,419
Did we just see you pick up a girl
in a comic book store?
87
00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:41,423
Because if you did, you get your picture
up there on the Wall of Heroes.
88
00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:44,926
No, I don't think I picked her up.
Besides, I have a girlfriend.
89
00:05:45,094 --> 00:05:47,220
Doesn't matter.
This is the closest anyone's ever come.
90
00:05:47,388 --> 00:05:49,181
You're going on the wall, my friend.
91
00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:55,354
Be sure to check the mail.
92
00:05:55,521 --> 00:05:58,106
How many times are you gonna tell me?
What's with you?
93
00:05:58,274 --> 00:06:00,609
Nothing.
It's not suspicious that I'm fixating.
94
00:06:00,777 --> 00:06:02,652
It's consistent with my personality.
95
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,614
- Right.
- Hey, guys.
96
00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:08,408
More Halloween candy? Didn't you just
buy a bunch of it yesterday?
97
00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:11,244
Oh, yeah, that's gone.
98
00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:16,583
It's a rough month when Halloween
and PMS hit at the same time.
99
00:06:17,668 --> 00:06:19,961
Leonard doesn't have time to chat.
He has to get the mail.
100
00:06:20,129 --> 00:06:22,589
Oh, will you relax? I'll get it in a minute.
101
00:06:22,757 --> 00:06:24,508
- Hey, how was work?
- Open the mail.
102
00:06:24,675 --> 00:06:25,717
(LEONARD SIGHS)
103
00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:27,177
Excuse me.
104
00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:37,562
A couple of circulars,
nothing important.
105
00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:40,399
- What's with him?
- Hang on.
106
00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:45,821
(HORN BLARES)
107
00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:53,453
You might be from Texas,
but I'm from New Jersey.
108
00:06:55,039 --> 00:06:56,790
(HORN BLARES)
109
00:06:58,292 --> 00:07:03,004
Check it out. Jim Lee drew this of me
two years ago at Comic-Con.
110
00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:06,508
- What are you wearing?
- Well, you know, it's Comic-Con.
111
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:11,012
I'm Lion-O from ThunderCats.
112
00:07:11,180 --> 00:07:12,764
(LAUGHS)
113
00:07:12,932 --> 00:07:15,016
Wow, you must have gotten so laid.
114
00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:18,437
Heh. No, but Jessica Alba
did rub my furry belly.
115
00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:20,313
(LAUGHS)
116
00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:23,608
Wanna see a comic I draw?
117
00:07:23,776 --> 00:07:25,527
You're kidding.
You have your own book?
118
00:07:25,736 --> 00:07:29,114
- Yeah, it's kind of based on my life.
- Ha, ha. Cool.
119
00:07:30,741 --> 00:07:33,702
Oh, wow, look, there's you having sex...
120
00:07:33,870 --> 00:07:37,706
...with a guy in the top half
of a Chewbacca costume.
121
00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:42,043
- Comic-Con?
- You'd think, but no.
122
00:07:44,046 --> 00:07:47,549
You're very talented.
This is really good. Did you do...?
123
00:07:53,389 --> 00:07:56,391
So can I trade you my comic
for the Hellboy?
124
00:07:56,559 --> 00:07:59,144
You can have my car.
125
00:08:14,076 --> 00:08:19,414
Oh, dear.
126
00:08:20,082 --> 00:08:26,421
Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear.
127
00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:30,550
Purell, Purell, Purell, Purell.
128
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:49,694
- Good morning, Sheldon.
- It is, isn't it?
129
00:08:55,284 --> 00:08:56,743
(GASPS)
130
00:08:56,911 --> 00:08:58,620
Oh, bother.
131
00:08:59,121 --> 00:09:01,122
Isn't that just always the way?
132
00:09:01,290 --> 00:09:03,792
You go to staple something
and you're out of staples.
133
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:08,463
Gosh, I wish I'd known that earlier today
when I was at Staples.
134
00:09:09,590 --> 00:09:12,133
You have a thing of paper clips
right there.
135
00:09:12,301 --> 00:09:16,221
No, no, uh, I need something
more permanent to join these papers.
136
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:20,642
Say, uh, don't you keep staples
in your top desk drawer?
137
00:09:21,477 --> 00:09:22,644
I don't know, maybe.
138
00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:25,647
Be a lamb and check.
139
00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:28,608
All right.
140
00:09:30,027 --> 00:09:31,611
(GASPS)
141
00:09:31,779 --> 00:09:34,573
Who do we have here?
142
00:09:35,658 --> 00:09:38,326
It's a snake. A terrifying snake.
143
00:09:38,494 --> 00:09:43,164
Oh. Did some bad man put us
in a drawer?
144
00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:47,502
Stop talking like that.
You've been rendered speechless by fear.
145
00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:53,758
Let's go to the biology lab
and find you some nice yummy mice.
146
00:09:55,177 --> 00:09:58,638
I tried to scare an Indian with a snake.
147
00:09:59,181 --> 00:10:02,142
Come on, Cooper.
You're better than this.
148
00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:05,687
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
149
00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:07,814
It's open.
150
00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:10,483
- Hey, you got a minute?
- Yeah, sure. Come on in.
151
00:10:11,652 --> 00:10:13,820
- Thanks.
- Want some mac and cheese?
152
00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:16,489
No. Lactose. Gas.
153
00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:20,702
- Glass of wine?
- No. Sulfites. Migraines.
154
00:10:20,911 --> 00:10:24,205
Well, I'd offer you Halloween candy,
but that's gone.
155
00:10:25,374 --> 00:10:28,668
- So, what's up?
- Okay, we used to go out, right?
156
00:10:29,211 --> 00:10:31,671
Oh, my God.
That's where I know you from.
157
00:10:33,215 --> 00:10:37,218
I'm dealing with a situation
and it's kind of about my love life.
158
00:10:37,386 --> 00:10:39,888
So I know that might be weird
for us to talk about...
159
00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:44,809
...but in this area, as you know,
all my other friends are just so stupid.
160
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:46,978
All right, what's going on?
161
00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:49,314
- So you're okay talking about this?
- Yes.
162
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:51,191
- Sure it's not weird?
- It's okay.
163
00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:54,736
If you ever wanna talk to me
about a problem in your life with a guy...
164
00:10:54,945 --> 00:10:56,529
...then I... I'd be fine with that.
165
00:10:56,697 --> 00:10:58,657
Okay, good.
There's this one guy I used to date...
166
00:10:58,824 --> 00:11:02,661
...who's about to be force-fed wine
and cheese if he doesn't get to the point.
167
00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:06,414
Okay, uh, here it is.
168
00:11:06,582 --> 00:11:08,750
Is it cheating
if a guy has a girlfriend...?
169
00:11:08,959 --> 00:11:10,585
Yeah, probably.
170
00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:14,422
- Come on.
- I'm sorry, go ahead.
171
00:11:14,590 --> 00:11:17,842
I met this girl and she's great.
We have a lot in common.
172
00:11:18,010 --> 00:11:21,221
- Did you guys do it?
- No. We just made out a little.
173
00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:24,099
Oh, look at you, you bad boy.
174
00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:27,352
- Did you tell her about Priya?
- Uh, I was gonna...
175
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,522
...but there were too many tongues
in my mouth.
176
00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:33,525
That's gross.
177
00:11:35,778 --> 00:11:38,863
Here's the thing. Uh, I... I'm not one
of those guys who sneaks around...
178
00:11:39,031 --> 00:11:40,865
...and sleeps with
more than one woman.
179
00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:42,117
Well, good for you.
180
00:11:42,284 --> 00:11:44,994
The problem is
I wanna be one of those guys.
181
00:11:46,622 --> 00:11:48,748
So sleep with the new girl
and lie to Priya.
182
00:11:48,916 --> 00:11:50,375
Oh, that's not who I am.
183
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:52,627
All right.
Then break it off with the new girl.
184
00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:56,214
Now, let's not do anything rash.
She's really hot.
185
00:11:56,882 --> 00:11:59,634
If you like this girl so much,
just end things with Priya.
186
00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:03,012
Priya and I are in love.
I think we could get married someday.
187
00:12:03,597 --> 00:12:06,099
You're looking for a way
to sleep with both women...
188
00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:10,311
- ...and have everybody be happy about it.
- Now we're getting somewhere.
189
00:12:13,107 --> 00:12:14,441
What does your gut tell you?
190
00:12:14,608 --> 00:12:16,818
"Go ask Penny.
She'll know what to do."
191
00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:27,495
Hello, Howard.
192
00:12:27,663 --> 00:12:31,332
I've realized that you scaring me
was all in jest.
193
00:12:31,542 --> 00:12:35,503
Allow me to say, job well done.
194
00:12:35,671 --> 00:12:36,963
(ENERGY CRACKLING)
195
00:12:37,131 --> 00:12:39,466
(GRUNTING)
196
00:12:45,347 --> 00:12:46,681
(GASPS)
197
00:12:46,974 --> 00:12:48,600
Perfect.
198
00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:55,648
- What are you doing?
- Science. You wouldn't understand.
199
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:59,569
Okay, well, see you. I'm going out.
200
00:13:06,702 --> 00:13:08,953
I thought you were leaving
the apartment.
201
00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:11,706
Yeah, me too.
I can't make up my mind.
202
00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:17,378
Are you concerned because the world
is filled with big dogs and bullies?
203
00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:20,715
No, I'm having a moral crisis.
204
00:13:21,842 --> 00:13:26,638
Well, if it's of any help, I've read all
the great moral philosophers...
205
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:28,848
...including Dr. Seuss.
206
00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:33,144
Oh, what the hell?
207
00:13:33,312 --> 00:13:36,481
I'm supposed to go see that
girl from the comic book store, Alice.
208
00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:40,735
But I don't know if I should, because I'm
going out with Priya, but she's in India.
209
00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:45,573
All right.
So the topic at hand is sexual fidelity.
210
00:13:45,741 --> 00:13:48,618
Probably won't be relying
on Seuss here.
211
00:13:49,537 --> 00:13:51,830
Although One Fish Two Fish
Red Fish Blue Fish...
212
00:13:51,997 --> 00:13:54,249
...might be surprisingly applicable.
213
00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:58,503
- Go on.
- Well, uh, they say at the end of your life...
214
00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:02,090
...you regret the stuff you didn't do
more than the stuff that you did.
215
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:06,386
And I'm pretty sure Alice is the stuff
I wanna do.
216
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:11,266
You know, the German philosopher
Friedrich Nietzsche...
217
00:14:11,433 --> 00:14:14,769
...believed that morality
is just a fiction...
218
00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:17,605
...used by the herd of inferior
human beings...
219
00:14:17,773 --> 00:14:20,775
...to hold back the few superior men.
220
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,194
That actually does help.
221
00:14:23,946 --> 00:14:26,781
It's worth noting
that he died of syphilis.
222
00:14:31,453 --> 00:14:32,745
Screw it, I'm going.
223
00:14:32,913 --> 00:14:35,248
On your way home,
will you pick up orange juice?
224
00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:37,959
Do you mind? I'm questioning
a lot of things in my life.
225
00:14:38,168 --> 00:14:40,962
Is one of those things
your fondness for orange juice?
226
00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:43,715
- No.
- Great. Tropicana, no pulp.
227
00:14:47,595 --> 00:14:49,304
(DOOR BELL RINGS)
228
00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:55,727
- Hey, Sheldon.
WOMAN: Who is it?
229
00:14:56,478 --> 00:14:58,479
It's me, Sheldon, Mrs. Wolowitz.
230
00:14:58,689 --> 00:15:02,108
That's not my mom. It's Bernadette.
231
00:15:03,485 --> 00:15:06,154
Really? That's very unsettling.
232
00:15:06,947 --> 00:15:09,115
- Hi, Sheldon.
- Hi.
233
00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:11,784
- What's up?
- It just occurred to me...
234
00:15:11,952 --> 00:15:15,622
...that I never formally congratulated you
on your pending nuptials.
235
00:15:15,789 --> 00:15:19,959
I hopped on the first bus and hightailed
it down here to shake your hand.
236
00:15:20,127 --> 00:15:23,254
Put her there, you old so-and-so.
237
00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:26,591
Well, uh... I'm gonna see you
at work in 12 hours.
238
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:29,010
Don't you think
it could have waited until then?
239
00:15:30,512 --> 00:15:33,014
Holy smoke,
why didn't I think of that?
240
00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:35,266
You're a better man than I,
Howard Wolowitz.
241
00:15:35,434 --> 00:15:38,436
You put her there, you son of a gun.
242
00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:40,271
Whatever. Heh.
243
00:15:40,481 --> 00:15:41,522
(GRUNTS)
244
00:15:41,690 --> 00:15:43,191
My...
245
00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:44,525
It's...
246
00:15:46,737 --> 00:15:49,697
Oh, my God, Howie!
What did you do?
247
00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:52,283
It was a harmless Halloween prank.
Look.
248
00:15:52,451 --> 00:15:55,036
Howard has a heart condition.
You know that.
249
00:15:55,245 --> 00:15:56,996
Well, I thought he made that up.
250
00:15:57,164 --> 00:16:00,959
Isn't hypochondria a common
idiosyncrasy of Jewish people?
251
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:07,548
This is adrenaline.
We're gonna inject it into his heart.
252
00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:09,968
- We are?
- You are. I'm not strong enough...
253
00:16:10,135 --> 00:16:13,304
...to get it through his chest plate
and we've only got one shot.
254
00:16:14,056 --> 00:16:16,265
Oh, no, I can't!
255
00:16:16,892 --> 00:16:18,893
Hurry! We're running out of time!
256
00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:21,688
- Okay.
- Just do it!
257
00:16:21,855 --> 00:16:25,483
Oh, God! One, two, three.
258
00:16:25,651 --> 00:16:26,693
Aah!
259
00:16:26,860 --> 00:16:28,361
Trick or treat, bubbeleh.
260
00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:30,738
What?
261
00:16:30,906 --> 00:16:32,240
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
262
00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:34,909
No. You mean this was all a ruse?
263
00:16:35,077 --> 00:16:36,244
Oh, how could I be so stu...?
264
00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:38,413
(ENERGY CRACKLING)
265
00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:43,793
(ALICE MOANING)
266
00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:48,423
Damn it, I can't... I can't do this.
267
00:16:48,590 --> 00:16:49,590
Is it my tongue stud?
268
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:52,677
If that freaks you out,
you're in for a real surprise later.
269
00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:56,055
(STAMMERS)
No, no, no. I can't do this.
270
00:16:56,223 --> 00:16:58,349
Believe me, I really want to.
271
00:16:58,517 --> 00:17:00,852
- But?
- But I kind of have a girlfriend.
272
00:17:01,603 --> 00:17:05,064
- Are you kidding?
- Uh, you're cool with being friends, right?
273
00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:06,441
Heh. I don't believe this.
274
00:17:06,608 --> 00:17:08,860
Wait, I don't... Which part?
275
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:12,697
Heh. I'm so stupid.
I thought for once I'd met a good guy...
276
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:17,285
- ...but you're just another jackass.
- Oh, no, you have it wrong.
277
00:17:17,453 --> 00:17:21,914
No, I was going to be a jackass,
but I stopped myself.
278
00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:26,586
I stayed a good guy,
so I'm gonna pass on the sex.
279
00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:30,048
But you should know,
that's not a comment on your hotness...
280
00:17:30,215 --> 00:17:32,592
...but on my goodness.
281
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:37,472
That's kind of my superpower.
I'm... I'm like Captain Good Guy.
282
00:17:39,183 --> 00:17:40,767
(SIGHS)
283
00:17:41,351 --> 00:17:44,812
It's okay. Did the right thing.
284
00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:47,857
You idiot!
285
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:53,863
- Hey, Priya.
- Hey, sweetheart. How's it going?
286
00:17:54,031 --> 00:17:56,157
Uh. Not so good. We have to talk.
287
00:17:56,325 --> 00:17:58,993
Oh. Sounds serious. What's up?
288
00:17:59,995 --> 00:18:03,081
Okay, uh, here it is.
289
00:18:03,248 --> 00:18:06,417
I met this girl and I kissed her
and I feel terrible about it.
290
00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:08,836
But it's done,
it's never gonna happen again...
291
00:18:09,004 --> 00:18:10,671
...and I am so, so sorry.
292
00:18:10,881 --> 00:18:13,424
Leonard, relax. It's okay.
293
00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:16,135
- It is?
- Yeah, these things happen.
294
00:18:16,303 --> 00:18:17,637
They happen to everybody.
295
00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:23,434
Oh, my God, you are amazing.
I mean, heh, I don't deserve you.
296
00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:26,479
What... What do you mean, "everybody"?
297
00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:31,692
Leonard, I didn't know if
I should tell you...
298
00:18:31,902 --> 00:18:34,028
...but I kind of cheated on you too.
299
00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:36,531
Uh, you... "Kind of"?
300
00:18:37,282 --> 00:18:41,035
A couple of weeks ago,
I slept with my ex-boyfriend.
301
00:18:42,329 --> 00:18:45,373
So I guess we both messed up a little.
302
00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:50,878
No, no, I messed up a little.
You messed up a lot.
303
00:18:51,046 --> 00:18:52,713
Well, it's not a competition.
304
00:18:52,881 --> 00:18:56,801
Oh, yeah, it is and you won.
305
00:18:58,554 --> 00:19:01,681
(STAMMERS)
I'm sorry, I have to go.
306
00:19:02,891 --> 00:19:05,685
I don't believe this.
307
00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:08,688
(BOTH SCREAMING)
308
00:19:16,697 --> 00:19:19,407
Buzzinga, punk. Now we're even.
24753
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