All language subtitles for The Big Bang Theory - 02x08 - The Lizard-Spock Expansion

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,210 --> 00:00:04,086 Oh, look. Saturn 3 is on. 2 00:00:04,254 --> 00:00:07,464 I don't wanna watch Saturn 3. Deep Space Nine is better. 3 00:00:07,632 --> 00:00:10,509 How is Deep Space Nine better than Saturn 3? 4 00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:14,263 Simple subtraction will tell you it's six better. 5 00:00:16,558 --> 00:00:17,975 Compromise. Watch Babylon 5. 6 00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:19,184 [CHUCKLES] 7 00:00:19,936 --> 00:00:22,271 In what sense is that a compromise? 8 00:00:22,439 --> 00:00:26,567 Well, five is partway between three... Never mind. 9 00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:29,403 I'll tell you what. How about we go Rock, Paper, Scissors? 10 00:00:29,571 --> 00:00:31,030 Ooh, I don't think so. 11 00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:34,450 Anecdotal evidence suggests that in a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors... 12 00:00:34,617 --> 00:00:38,120 ...players familiar with each other will tie 75 to 80 percent of the time... 13 00:00:38,288 --> 00:00:40,289 ...due to the limited number of outcomes. 14 00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:44,626 I suggest Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock. 15 00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:48,088 - What? - It's very simple. 16 00:00:48,256 --> 00:00:50,674 Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock... 17 00:00:50,842 --> 00:00:53,427 ...rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock... 18 00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:56,221 ...Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard... 19 00:00:56,389 --> 00:00:58,640 ...lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock... 20 00:00:58,808 --> 00:01:03,604 ...Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors. 21 00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:08,275 Okay, I think I got it. 22 00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:12,988 Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock. 23 00:01:13,156 --> 00:01:14,531 Oh... 24 00:01:20,663 --> 00:01:22,664 Hello, boys. 25 00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:25,501 Ahoy, matey. 26 00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:27,503 Noticed the eye patch, did you? 27 00:01:27,670 --> 00:01:31,173 It's all part of a technique I've been studying for picking up women. 28 00:01:31,341 --> 00:01:33,217 You employ a visual display... 29 00:01:33,384 --> 00:01:38,097 ...designed to make yourself distinctive and memorable. 30 00:01:38,264 --> 00:01:40,974 Oh, yes, like the male peacock with brilliant plumage... 31 00:01:41,142 --> 00:01:44,353 ...or the rutting baboon with engorged hindquarters. 32 00:01:45,063 --> 00:01:48,190 Or in this case, the bar mitzvah boy with pink eye. 33 00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,068 Mock me if you will, but it works. 34 00:01:51,236 --> 00:01:53,070 You show up in something distinctive... 35 00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:55,447 ...scope out your target and toss out some negs. 36 00:01:55,615 --> 00:01:58,283 - What are negs? - A neg is a negative compliment... 37 00:01:58,451 --> 00:02:01,036 ...that throws a pretty woman off her game, like: 38 00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:05,624 "Normally, I'm not turned on by big teeth, but on you they work." 39 00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:09,545 I got a whole list of them. Who wants to be my wingman? 40 00:02:09,712 --> 00:02:13,215 You're not gonna need a wingman. You're gonna need a paramedic. 41 00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:16,635 Howard, your scooter's blocking my car. 42 00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:19,304 Oh, did you get pink eye again? 43 00:02:21,182 --> 00:02:23,517 Step one: she notices the eye patch. 44 00:02:24,894 --> 00:02:28,230 May I say, Penny, not a lot of women could look as hot as you do... 45 00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:30,983 ...with such greasy hair. 46 00:02:38,074 --> 00:02:42,369 Yeah, just move your stupid scooter before I pick it up and throw it in the dumpster. 47 00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:44,580 [DOOR SLAMS] 48 00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:46,915 Ow. 49 00:03:12,066 --> 00:03:13,275 [MUSIC PLAYING ON TV] 50 00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:17,112 Yeah, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to watch the Clone Wars TV series... 51 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,823 ...until I've seen the Clone Wars movie. 52 00:03:20,825 --> 00:03:24,494 I prefer to let George Lucas disappoint me in the order he intended. 53 00:03:26,331 --> 00:03:27,873 Well, I wanna watch it now. 54 00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:29,833 Then I believe we've arrived... 55 00:03:30,001 --> 00:03:34,004 ...at another quintessential Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock moment. 56 00:03:39,302 --> 00:03:41,136 Watch whatever you want. 57 00:03:42,096 --> 00:03:43,972 I saw what you did there. 58 00:03:44,807 --> 00:03:46,141 What'd I do? 59 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:48,810 [PHONE RINGS] 60 00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:53,565 Hello? Hey, Howard. 61 00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:55,359 What's wrong? 62 00:03:55,526 --> 00:03:57,694 Uh, okay. Okay, we'll be right there. 63 00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:00,739 - What happened? - Howard's at the Mars-rover lab. 64 00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:02,950 He says he's in trouble. DEFCON 5. 65 00:04:03,117 --> 00:04:06,870 DEFCON 5? Well, there's no need to rush. 66 00:04:07,664 --> 00:04:10,040 - What? - DEFCON 5 means no danger. 67 00:04:10,208 --> 00:04:12,042 DEFCON 1 is a crisis. 68 00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:14,211 How can five not be worse than one? 69 00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:16,213 Well, Star Trek V, worse than 1. 70 00:04:18,424 --> 00:04:21,218 First of all, that's a comparison of quality, not intensity. 71 00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:26,098 Secondly, Star Trek I is orders of magnitude worse than Star Trek V. 72 00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:27,307 Are you joking? 73 00:04:27,475 --> 00:04:30,519 Star Trek V is the standard against which all badness is measured. 74 00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:31,728 No, no, no. 75 00:04:32,438 --> 00:04:35,232 Star Trek V has specific failures in writing and direction... 76 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,484 ...while Star Trek I fails across the board. 77 00:04:37,652 --> 00:04:40,195 Art direction, costuming, music, sound editing. 78 00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:43,782 You know what? Can we just forget I said "DEFCON" and go? 79 00:04:45,076 --> 00:04:47,494 Star Trek V. 80 00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:52,332 SHELDON: Will you at least stipulate that Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home... 81 00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:54,251 ...is inarguably the best? 82 00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:57,546 I have three words for you: Wrath of Khan. 83 00:04:58,673 --> 00:05:00,757 - Thank God you're here. - What's the emergency? 84 00:05:00,925 --> 00:05:03,969 I got the Mars rover stuck in a ditch. 85 00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:06,221 - Where? - On a dusty highway... 86 00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:09,266 ...just outside Bakersfield. Where do you think? On Mars. 87 00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:10,684 [DOOR OPENS] 88 00:05:10,852 --> 00:05:14,438 - Howard, is everything okay? - Yeah, baby, I'll be right in. 89 00:05:15,898 --> 00:05:18,650 You brought a girl to the Mars-rover control room? 90 00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:21,153 Yeah, I picked her up in the bar. She's a doctor. 91 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:22,487 One free barium enema... 92 00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:25,198 ...and my mother won't care she's not Jewish. 93 00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:29,328 Wait a minute, so the eye patch and the insults worked? 94 00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:32,956 No, there were three other guys with eye patches. It was a fiasco. 95 00:05:34,625 --> 00:05:38,503 What did work was, "How'd you like to visit a secret government facility?" 96 00:05:38,671 --> 00:05:40,672 So, what exactly do you want us to do? 97 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:45,010 You help me get the rover out, and you get Stephanie out before somebody notices. 98 00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:46,803 She doesn't exactly have clearance. 99 00:05:46,971 --> 00:05:49,556 Really? They don't let strange women from honky-tonks... 100 00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:52,976 ...play with $200 million government projects on distant planets? 101 00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:57,189 Yes, I was bad. Maybe she'll spank me. Can we please move on? 102 00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:02,611 Hey, Howard, it's getting late, so do I get to drive this thing or what? 103 00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:05,364 Yeah, no, I'm sorry, but something's come up. 104 00:06:05,531 --> 00:06:07,366 Kind of a Mars rover... 105 00:06:07,533 --> 00:06:11,119 Mars-rover-can-Howard-come-over... 106 00:06:11,287 --> 00:06:14,664 ...kind of situation. 107 00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:19,336 So my friend Leonard is gonna take you home. 108 00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:22,005 Oh, okay. Let's go, friend Leonard. 109 00:06:22,173 --> 00:06:23,673 - Okay. - I'll call you. 110 00:06:23,841 --> 00:06:26,301 STEPHAN IE: Yeah. So are you a scientist like Howard? 111 00:06:26,469 --> 00:06:29,429 LEONARD: No one's a scientist like Howard. 112 00:06:30,306 --> 00:06:32,682 My mother is so gonna love her. 113 00:06:32,850 --> 00:06:36,895 How nice. Maybe they can carpool when they visit you in federal prison. 114 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:47,322 I'm sorry, I totally interrupted you. What were you saying? 115 00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:50,117 - Just said Howard's a terrific guy. - Yeah. 116 00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:53,912 He's got a great sense of humor. 117 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,706 He loves his mother a lot. 118 00:06:56,874 --> 00:06:58,750 Some people say too much. 119 00:06:59,669 --> 00:07:04,005 - I really like that you're such a loyal friend. - Yeah, I am loyal. 120 00:07:04,173 --> 00:07:06,216 You know, if you look at the big picture. 121 00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:14,307 Just, uh, out of curiosity, did he ever have a shot with you? 122 00:07:14,475 --> 00:07:17,519 Are you insane? The guy was wearing an eye patch. 123 00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:22,732 - So then why did you...? - He said that I could drive a car on Mars. 124 00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:25,277 - Got it. - Yeah. 125 00:07:26,654 --> 00:07:29,030 So can I see you again? 126 00:07:29,198 --> 00:07:31,658 You're not done seeing me now. 127 00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:34,035 LEONARD: Hm. 128 00:07:34,203 --> 00:07:35,787 Cool. 129 00:07:38,082 --> 00:07:39,875 [KEYS CLICKING] 130 00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:42,711 Anything? 131 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,338 Actually, I was just checking my e-mail. 132 00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:49,759 But, uh, no, the rover is not responding. 133 00:07:49,927 --> 00:07:53,263 I believe the appropriate metaphor here involves a river of excrement... 134 00:07:53,431 --> 00:07:57,392 ...and a Native American water vessel without any means of propulsion. 135 00:07:57,768 --> 00:07:59,936 Hang on, there's gotta be other options. 136 00:08:00,104 --> 00:08:02,522 You could try calling AAA. 137 00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:06,610 But based on NASA's latest timetable, they won't get there for 35 years. 138 00:08:07,778 --> 00:08:12,741 Plus, I understand you have to be next to the vehicle with your card when they arrive. 139 00:08:12,909 --> 00:08:13,992 Oh, snap. 140 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:15,202 [CHUCKLES] 141 00:08:15,369 --> 00:08:16,411 Snap what? 142 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:20,290 - Okay, I guess we have to turn to plan B. - What's plan B? 143 00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:25,086 Erase the hard drives, grab the tapes, wipe our fingerprints off every surface and run. 144 00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:26,963 Why wasn't that plan A? 145 00:08:29,675 --> 00:08:32,594 ANNOUNCER [ON TV]: A NASA spokesman states that due to the loss of data... 146 00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:35,597 ...they will most likely be unable to determine the cause... 147 00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:38,433 ...of the Mars rover's malfunction. 148 00:08:40,686 --> 00:08:43,313 Thank God for plan B. 149 00:08:44,565 --> 00:08:46,858 Howard, didn't you say you worked on the Mars rover? 150 00:08:47,026 --> 00:08:49,236 No, you're mistaken. 151 00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:50,946 Yeah, when we first met. 152 00:08:51,113 --> 00:08:54,115 You said that if I went out with you I could drive a car on Mars. 153 00:08:56,577 --> 00:08:59,621 I don't know what you're talking about. 154 00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:01,414 LEONARD: Psst? 155 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:04,125 Will you all excuse me? 156 00:09:04,293 --> 00:09:07,420 Leonard is signaling that he'd like to talk to me in private. 157 00:09:09,298 --> 00:09:11,383 No. Yeah, I remember specifically. 158 00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:16,346 You started by asking if I was from Mars because my ass was out of this world. 159 00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:21,351 Well, that does sound like me, but no. 160 00:09:22,603 --> 00:09:23,812 SHELDON: Is there some problem? 161 00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:27,983 Yeah, um, listen, I have to kind of sneak out for a while. 162 00:09:28,442 --> 00:09:31,444 - All right. Goodbye. - No, wait. 163 00:09:31,612 --> 00:09:34,197 If anyone asks you where I went, you don't know. 164 00:09:34,365 --> 00:09:37,284 - Where are you going? - I can't tell you that. 165 00:09:38,035 --> 00:09:39,744 Well, who would ask me? 166 00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:42,998 I can't tell you that either. 167 00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:46,876 You brought me here to inform me you can't tell me where you're going. 168 00:09:47,044 --> 00:09:49,754 And you can't tell me who might ask? 169 00:09:51,173 --> 00:09:54,009 Yeah, I really didn't think this through. 170 00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:57,971 - Leonard, a moment. - What? 171 00:09:58,139 --> 00:10:00,473 If someone... And we don't know who this would be. 172 00:10:00,641 --> 00:10:03,059 ...does ask where you've gone, what should I say? 173 00:10:03,227 --> 00:10:05,478 I don't know. Tell them I went to the office. 174 00:10:05,646 --> 00:10:07,397 - Are you going to the office? - No. 175 00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:11,776 - Well, then how can I say it convincingly? - Just say, "Leonard went to the office." 176 00:10:11,944 --> 00:10:16,114 All right. Leonard went to the office. 177 00:10:20,494 --> 00:10:22,662 What is...? No, not like that. 178 00:10:22,830 --> 00:10:24,581 Just "Leonard went to the office." 179 00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:28,126 Would have worked better if you told me you were going to the office. 180 00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:29,502 I'm going to the office. 181 00:10:30,379 --> 00:10:32,255 See, why don't I believe you? 182 00:10:35,259 --> 00:10:37,469 [MUSIC PLAYING ON TV] 183 00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:40,680 - I'm going out for a while. - Okay. 184 00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:46,311 [DOOR CLOSES] 185 00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:52,859 Doesn't anyone wanna know where he's going? 186 00:10:54,695 --> 00:10:56,196 Okay, where is he going? 187 00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:59,658 Leonard is going to the office. 188 00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:16,633 - So how was work today? - Busy. 189 00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:21,179 I removed an appendix, a gall bladder and about a foot and a half of bowel. 190 00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:24,015 I'm hoping that was three different guys. 191 00:11:24,183 --> 00:11:25,350 [CHUCKLES] 192 00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:27,936 No, just the one. 193 00:11:29,271 --> 00:11:30,939 He didn't make it. 194 00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:33,858 So how was your day? 195 00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:38,530 You know, I'm a physicist, so I thought about stuff. 196 00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:43,535 - That's it? - I wrote some of it down. 197 00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:44,869 [LAUGHS] 198 00:11:45,037 --> 00:11:46,746 - Are you done eating? - Yeah. 199 00:11:46,914 --> 00:11:48,581 Oh, good. 200 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:55,296 If I knew you were waiting, I would have swallowed that lasagna whole. 201 00:11:55,464 --> 00:11:56,965 [PHONE RINGS] 202 00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:59,801 STEPHANIE [ON RECORDING]: You've reached Dr. Stephanie Barnett. 203 00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:01,010 Leave a message. 204 00:12:01,178 --> 00:12:02,220 [PHONE BEEPS] 205 00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:04,305 HOWARD: Hey, Steph, it's me again, Howard. 206 00:12:04,473 --> 00:12:07,892 If you're free Friday, maybe we could have something to eat at my place. 207 00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:10,937 My mom cooks a hell of a brisket. 208 00:12:12,022 --> 00:12:14,023 Let me know. It's Howard. 209 00:12:14,191 --> 00:12:15,567 [CLICKS] 210 00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:19,487 - I've had her brisket. Melts in your mouth. - Mm-hm. 211 00:12:23,909 --> 00:12:27,162 Maybe we should think about going to the bedroom. 212 00:12:27,329 --> 00:12:31,833 That's a good idea, because there's a bed there, and I'm very, very, very pro-bed. 213 00:12:32,334 --> 00:12:34,210 [PHONE RINGS] 214 00:12:34,378 --> 00:12:37,464 STEPHANIE: You've reached Dr. Stephanie Barnett. Leave a message. 215 00:12:37,631 --> 00:12:38,673 [PHONE BEEPS] 216 00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:41,134 HOWARD: Hey, it's me again. 217 00:12:41,302 --> 00:12:45,680 Just wanna let you know the head count for dinner Friday has gone up. 218 00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:49,726 My Aunt Betty and Uncle Elliot are coming in from Palm Springs. 219 00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:54,689 Oh, and if anybody should ask, you're half Jewish on your mother's side. 220 00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:58,318 Okay, call me. It's Howard. 221 00:12:58,486 --> 00:12:59,736 [CLICKS] 222 00:13:00,488 --> 00:13:03,573 Don't you think you should tell him you're not interested? 223 00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:06,743 You want me to stop and call him back right now? 224 00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:08,703 Dear God, no. 225 00:13:11,248 --> 00:13:12,540 STEPHANIE [GIGGLING]: Oh, Leonard. 226 00:13:12,708 --> 00:13:13,750 [LEONARD LAUGHING] 227 00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:15,960 [PHONE RINGS] 228 00:13:16,128 --> 00:13:19,214 STEPHANIE: You've reached Dr. Stephanie Barnett. Leave a message. 229 00:13:19,381 --> 00:13:20,381 [PHONE BEEPS] 230 00:13:20,549 --> 00:13:24,052 HOWARD: Hey, it's me again. Howard. 231 00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:28,097 Listen, my cousins from Fort Lauderdale are flying in to meet you... 232 00:13:28,265 --> 00:13:32,143 ...so that means we're gonna have to move the dinner to a restaurant. 233 00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:36,397 MRS. WOLOWITZ [SHOUTING OVER PHONE]: Tell her we're going to the Olive Garden. 234 00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:39,567 I have a coupon from the paper. 235 00:13:40,152 --> 00:13:44,155 HOWARD: We're not going to the Olive Garden, Ma. 236 00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:48,910 MRS. WOLOWITZ: Oh, Mr. Big-Shot with his Red Lobster. 237 00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:53,081 HOWARD: I'll call you back when we firm up the details. 238 00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:55,750 It's Howard. 239 00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:02,590 - Oh, hey. - Hey. 240 00:14:02,758 --> 00:14:04,384 - New shirts? - Yeah, a couple. 241 00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:06,427 PENNY: Nice. - Thank you. 242 00:14:06,595 --> 00:14:08,304 So who's the girl? 243 00:14:09,598 --> 00:14:12,100 - I'm sorry? - Well, last time you bought a new shirt... 244 00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:13,518 ...was when we were dating. 245 00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:16,771 So, what we did was in fact dating? 246 00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:20,358 Well, yeah, we did have a date. 247 00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:22,610 Exactly. Thank you. 248 00:14:23,445 --> 00:14:27,115 Do me a favor, tell Koothrappali that next time you see him. 249 00:14:27,783 --> 00:14:29,367 So who is she? 250 00:14:29,785 --> 00:14:32,787 - Oh, she's a doctor. - Oh, nice. 251 00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:36,332 A "doctor" doctor, or a you kind of doctor? 252 00:14:36,792 --> 00:14:39,460 "Doctor" doctor. Surgical resident. 253 00:14:39,628 --> 00:14:41,462 Smart, pretty. 254 00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:44,632 Let me ask you something. 255 00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:48,636 If your friend thinks he's dating someone... 256 00:14:48,804 --> 00:14:51,306 ...but he's not, because in fact, you're dating her... 257 00:14:51,473 --> 00:14:53,224 ...does that make you a bad person? 258 00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:55,476 - Well, that depends. - On what? 259 00:14:55,644 --> 00:14:57,812 Is that friend Wolowitz? 260 00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:01,649 - Yeah. - Screw him, you're fine. 261 00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:07,989 - Are you sure? - Well, have you slept with her yet? 262 00:15:09,658 --> 00:15:12,076 You dog. 263 00:15:13,203 --> 00:15:14,495 Good for you. 264 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:17,582 - Does that change things? - No. 265 00:15:18,542 --> 00:15:22,503 - So why'd you ask? - I'm nosy. See you. 266 00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:30,345 MRS. WOLOWITZ [SHOUTING]: Howard, get the door! 267 00:15:31,555 --> 00:15:34,265 HOWARD [SHOUTING]: Really? Is that what you do when someone knocks? 268 00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:37,435 Thank you, I had no idea! 269 00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:43,524 [IN NORMAL TONE] Hey, buddy. What brings you to my little slice of hell? 270 00:15:43,692 --> 00:15:46,778 MRS. WOLOWITZ: Who is it? - It's Leonard! 271 00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:49,322 MRS. WOLOWITZ: You're gonna have to play outside! 272 00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:53,034 I'm not dressed to receive! 273 00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:55,370 No one cares, Ma! 274 00:15:55,537 --> 00:15:57,246 So, what's up? 275 00:15:57,873 --> 00:16:00,458 Listen, I need to talk to you about something. 276 00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:02,585 [CELL PHONE RINGS] 277 00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:04,420 Momentito. 278 00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:06,547 Hello? 279 00:16:06,715 --> 00:16:10,134 Oh, Stephanie, thanks for calling me back. I was worried. 280 00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:13,554 Oh. 281 00:16:15,182 --> 00:16:16,641 Uh-huh. 282 00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:19,519 Uh-huh. 283 00:16:21,063 --> 00:16:22,146 Uh-huh. 284 00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:26,401 No, I understand. Sure, we can be friends. Absolutely. 285 00:16:26,568 --> 00:16:27,986 Thanks for calling. 286 00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:30,905 Yeah, you have a nice day too. 287 00:16:32,282 --> 00:16:33,449 You are dead to me. 288 00:16:39,748 --> 00:16:42,041 Okay, who gets the extra dumpling? 289 00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:48,965 Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock. 290 00:16:52,469 --> 00:16:55,430 Okay, one of us is going to have to stop putting up Spock. 291 00:16:55,597 --> 00:16:56,931 How do we decide that? 292 00:16:57,808 --> 00:16:59,726 Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock. 293 00:16:59,893 --> 00:17:01,144 [ALL GRUNT] 294 00:17:02,730 --> 00:17:04,647 - Oh, hey, guys. SHELDON & RAJESH: Hey. 295 00:17:06,108 --> 00:17:07,817 Hi, Howard. 296 00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:12,905 - Howard? - Sheldon. 297 00:17:13,115 --> 00:17:15,324 Howard is employing a schoolyard paradigm... 298 00:17:15,492 --> 00:17:18,953 ...in which you are for all intents and purposes deceased. 299 00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:22,790 He intends to act on this by not speaking to you... 300 00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:25,418 ...feigning an inability to hear you when you speak... 301 00:17:25,586 --> 00:17:28,463 ...and otherwise refusing to acknowledge your existence. 302 00:17:28,964 --> 00:17:31,466 That's ridiculous. Why are you cooperating with him? 303 00:17:31,633 --> 00:17:34,302 I don't make the rules, Leonard. 304 00:17:35,637 --> 00:17:38,056 Howard, come on. I didn't plan on this. 305 00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:42,727 These things just happen. Usually not to me, but they do happen. 306 00:17:43,771 --> 00:17:46,439 Did someone just feel a cold breeze? 307 00:17:47,191 --> 00:17:49,650 I believe this is an extension of the death metaphor. 308 00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:53,112 The cold breeze is a so-called ectoplasmic issue... 309 00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:55,156 ...of a disembodied soul passing by. 310 00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:59,118 You know, screw it. I'm just gonna eat the dumpling. 311 00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:02,121 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 312 00:18:03,957 --> 00:18:05,208 - Oh, hi, Steph. - Hey. 313 00:18:05,375 --> 00:18:07,251 - Come on in. - Oh, is this a bad time? 314 00:18:07,419 --> 00:18:10,505 Yeah, but I don't see a better one on the horizon, so... 315 00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:14,425 Oh, if it isn't Mrs. Dead-To-Me. 316 00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:16,260 Hello, Howard. 317 00:18:16,428 --> 00:18:18,513 - Sheldon? - I'm sorry, you violated... 318 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:22,266 ...the terms of your metaphor by acknowledging her existence. I'm out. 319 00:18:23,685 --> 00:18:25,353 He just won't listen to me. 320 00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:28,064 Okay, well, I guess it'll just be the three of us then. 321 00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:31,442 - Yeah. Lisa's gonna be disappointed. STEPHANIE: Yeah. 322 00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:33,027 Lisa? 323 00:18:33,570 --> 00:18:36,114 Yeah, my roommate. She just went through a bad breakup. 324 00:18:36,281 --> 00:18:39,033 I thought she might like to meet somebody fun like you. 325 00:18:40,285 --> 00:18:44,705 Leonard, Stephanie, you're alive. It's a miracle. 326 00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:49,877 So anyway, Lisa, I just wanted to tell you again... 327 00:18:50,045 --> 00:18:54,966 ...how much I enjoyed the other night, and again, I'm sorry for how it ended. 328 00:18:56,677 --> 00:18:59,011 But again, if you could let me know about Friday... 329 00:18:59,179 --> 00:19:02,723 ...my mother needs a head count so she can know how big a brisket to get. 330 00:19:02,891 --> 00:19:04,142 Howard. Look at this. 331 00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:05,393 [MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ON TV] 332 00:19:05,561 --> 00:19:08,646 Anyway, call me. It's Howard. 333 00:19:10,107 --> 00:19:13,025 ANNOUNCER [ON TV]: It's unclear how the Mars rover got into the crevice... 334 00:19:13,193 --> 00:19:14,652 ...but one thing's certain: 335 00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:18,573 The data which it has sent back contain the first clear indications... 336 00:19:18,740 --> 00:19:22,034 ...that there may have been life on Mars. 337 00:19:23,078 --> 00:19:24,829 It's a scientific discovery... 338 00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:27,832 ...that has staggering implications for all mankind. 339 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:32,211 Unfortunately, we'll never know who's responsible. 340 00:19:36,550 --> 00:19:39,510 Son of a bitch. 341 00:20:06,288 --> 00:20:08,289 [English - US - SDH] 27160

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