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1
00:00:00,117 --> 00:00:01,741
Previously, on
"Young Sheldon"...
2
00:00:01,826 --> 00:00:03,974
You must be
Coach Ballard's ex-wife.
3
00:00:04,059 --> 00:00:06,131
Yeah.
Why?
4
00:00:06,227 --> 00:00:08,131
I'm kind of dating
your ex-husband.
5
00:00:08,217 --> 00:00:09,907
I knew who you were
the whole time.
6
00:00:09,992 --> 00:00:11,243
That's why
I came over here.
7
00:00:11,327 --> 00:00:12,726
Nicely played.
8
00:00:12,811 --> 00:00:14,637
We ought to go out for drinks
one night.
9
00:00:14,721 --> 00:00:16,475
Hell yeah!
10
00:00:16,586 --> 00:00:17,827
Yee-haw!
11
00:00:19,704 --> 00:00:22,367
College is a time
for new experiences,
12
00:00:22,452 --> 00:00:25,045
being exposed
to exciting ways of thinking,
13
00:00:25,131 --> 00:00:27,217
meeting people
from different backgrounds,
14
00:00:27,405 --> 00:00:30,428
and the unexpected visit
from your dad in gym shorts.
15
00:00:30,585 --> 00:00:31,585
Hey.
16
00:00:31,702 --> 00:00:33,213
What are you doing here?
17
00:00:33,296 --> 00:00:34,703
I got a phone call.
18
00:00:34,787 --> 00:00:36,707
Apparently, the head of the
college wants to talk to us.
19
00:00:36,790 --> 00:00:39,622
Oh, good.
You sure it's good?
20
00:00:39,707 --> 00:00:41,304
Well, it's better than
what I thought when I saw you,
21
00:00:41,389 --> 00:00:43,765
- which was, "Uh-oh, Meemaw died."
- Come on.
22
00:00:44,737 --> 00:00:46,133
I was hoping in
college you wouldn't
23
00:00:46,216 --> 00:00:47,875
get called to the
principal's office anymore.
24
00:00:47,959 --> 00:00:49,877
She's not the principal.
She's the president.
25
00:00:50,036 --> 00:00:52,000
So if you're in trouble,
you're in big trouble.
26
00:00:52,085 --> 00:00:53,789
That's a fun way to look at it.
27
00:00:54,057 --> 00:00:56,218
Gentlemen, please have a seat.
28
00:00:56,616 --> 00:00:58,344
Sheldon's only been here
a few weeks.
29
00:00:58,429 --> 00:00:59,914
I hope he's not
in trouble already.
30
00:00:59,999 --> 00:01:01,508
What kind of trouble?
Did something happen?
31
00:01:01,591 --> 00:01:02,804
Ooh, maybe it's
from when I decided...
32
00:01:02,889 --> 00:01:04,436
Uh, uh, all good.
33
00:01:04,573 --> 00:01:06,233
Uh, you keep talking.
34
00:01:06,335 --> 00:01:08,429
Well, I'll just get
right to the point.
35
00:01:08,573 --> 00:01:10,233
Uh, I would like you
and your son
36
00:01:10,319 --> 00:01:13,203
to meet with a very important
benefactor of the college.
37
00:01:13,510 --> 00:01:14,625
Why us?
38
00:01:14,750 --> 00:01:16,605
Well, I mean, Sheldon is...
39
00:01:16,688 --> 00:01:18,313
is an impressive addition
40
00:01:18,397 --> 00:01:20,147
to the physics program,
41
00:01:20,233 --> 00:01:23,031
and-and we like our donors
to feel really good
42
00:01:23,115 --> 00:01:24,507
about where their money's going.
43
00:01:24,591 --> 00:01:26,757
I get it.
You want the star quarterback
44
00:01:26,843 --> 00:01:28,268
to shake some hands
with the boosters.
45
00:01:28,352 --> 00:01:29,966
Exactly. I'm not doing that.
46
00:01:30,049 --> 00:01:31,843
I didn't shake her hand,
and she's the president.
47
00:01:31,927 --> 00:01:34,366
No, you don't have
to shake anybody's hand.
48
00:01:34,460 --> 00:01:35,710
Then why did you say it?
49
00:01:35,795 --> 00:01:37,647
I didn't say it.
He said it.
50
00:01:37,733 --> 00:01:38,897
But you agreed with it.
51
00:01:38,983 --> 00:01:41,936
All I'm asking you to do is
to go to dinner,
52
00:01:42,021 --> 00:01:45,170
talk about science with a very
nice and, more importantly,
53
00:01:45,304 --> 00:01:46,664
a very rich person.
54
00:01:46,771 --> 00:01:47,992
Understood.
55
00:01:48,209 --> 00:01:50,257
No, thank you.Buddy...
56
00:01:50,616 --> 00:01:53,835
All right, uh, Sheldon,
I was brought to this school
57
00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:57,813
to help raise its profile,
and one of the ways to do that
58
00:01:57,897 --> 00:01:59,906
is through grants and donations.
59
00:01:59,991 --> 00:02:01,569
You-you can understand that,
right?
60
00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:03,945
I understand that you would like
to put the novelty of my age
61
00:02:04,030 --> 00:02:06,453
and advanced intellect
on display to raise some cash.
62
00:02:06,591 --> 00:02:08,522
No. Sort of.
63
00:02:08,724 --> 00:02:11,268
- Can I speak to you alone?
- Will you give us a minute?
64
00:02:11,484 --> 00:02:13,274
Very well.
But if you're looking to see
65
00:02:13,359 --> 00:02:14,836
if my father will be
a potential donor,
66
00:02:14,919 --> 00:02:16,921
you are barking up
the wrong tree.
67
00:02:18,141 --> 00:02:20,973
♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪
68
00:02:21,081 --> 00:02:23,920
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain
69
00:02:24,006 --> 00:02:26,473
♪ I bet I could be your hero
70
00:02:26,558 --> 00:02:29,421
♪ I am a mighty little man
71
00:02:29,507 --> 00:02:33,218
♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪
*YOUNG SHELDON*
72
00:02:33,301 --> 00:02:34,632
*YOUNG SHELDON*
Season 04 Episode 09
73
00:02:34,716 --> 00:02:36,248
Episode Title: "Crappy Frozen Ice Cream
and an Organ Grinder's Monkey"
74
00:02:37,203 --> 00:02:38,389
So...
75
00:02:38,474 --> 00:02:41,147
how do we get your son
to cooperate?
76
00:02:41,251 --> 00:02:43,475
I've been asking myself that
since day one.
77
00:02:43,561 --> 00:02:45,579
Look, I don't mean
to put pressure on you,
78
00:02:45,663 --> 00:02:47,304
but there's
a lot of pressure on me,
79
00:02:47,388 --> 00:02:48,804
so I'm going to put it
on you.
80
00:02:49,272 --> 00:02:51,789
Look, I'm sorry,
isn't there anyone else
81
00:02:51,875 --> 00:02:53,235
who can go to dinner
with this guy?
82
00:02:53,413 --> 00:02:55,932
So I have a unicorn in my zoo,
83
00:02:56,049 --> 00:02:59,533
but I should trot out a goat,
is that what you're saying?
84
00:02:59,616 --> 00:03:01,883
Would you donate a new library
85
00:03:01,967 --> 00:03:03,537
to have dinner with a goat?
86
00:03:03,621 --> 00:03:05,062
What restaurant?
87
00:03:06,623 --> 00:03:09,592
Mr. Cooper, I need you
to understand something.
88
00:03:09,677 --> 00:03:13,859
This university relies
on donations for everything.
89
00:03:13,943 --> 00:03:15,992
For upkeep,
for salaries,
90
00:03:16,125 --> 00:03:20,175
for scholarships, like the one
your son is currently on.
91
00:03:20,377 --> 00:03:22,054
I'll talk to him.
92
00:03:22,578 --> 00:03:23,828
Thank you.
93
00:03:25,466 --> 00:03:28,592
And when you go to dinner,
wear real pants.
94
00:03:32,067 --> 00:03:33,820
So, there's this thing
95
00:03:33,906 --> 00:03:35,507
at school
I really want to go to,
96
00:03:35,591 --> 00:03:38,475
and before you say no, I just
want you to think about it.
97
00:03:38,612 --> 00:03:41,183
- What is it?
- Like a school function.
98
00:03:41,343 --> 00:03:43,429
Why would I say no
to a school function?
99
00:03:43,514 --> 00:03:44,838
So I can go?
You're the best.
100
00:03:44,924 --> 00:03:46,288
Hold on.
101
00:03:46,385 --> 00:03:48,522
What kind of function
are we talking about?
102
00:03:48,608 --> 00:03:50,352
You know,
just the normal kind.
103
00:03:50,437 --> 00:03:51,828
With some kids.
104
00:03:51,913 --> 00:03:53,179
And some music.
105
00:03:53,268 --> 00:03:55,085
You know you can't go
to a dance.
106
00:03:55,170 --> 00:03:56,174
Why not?
107
00:03:56,259 --> 00:03:57,507
You know that,
too.
108
00:03:57,591 --> 00:03:58,781
Because we're Baptist.
109
00:03:58,865 --> 00:04:00,305
But all my friends
are going.
110
00:04:00,389 --> 00:04:02,429
That doesn't
change anything.
111
00:04:03,397 --> 00:04:05,139
What if I promise
not to dance?
112
00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:06,625
So you expect me
to believe
113
00:04:06,710 --> 00:04:09,280
that you are going to go
to a dance with your friends,
114
00:04:09,389 --> 00:04:12,389
they'll all be dancing
while you just stand there?
115
00:04:12,474 --> 00:04:14,170
I go to church
and don't pray.
116
00:04:14,256 --> 00:04:16,108
How is this any different?
117
00:04:19,362 --> 00:04:21,278
Where we eating tonight?
118
00:04:21,699 --> 00:04:23,163
Well, that depends.
119
00:04:23,249 --> 00:04:24,687
Why don't you look
in the glovebox
120
00:04:24,773 --> 00:04:26,975
and check on the Tums situation.
121
00:04:28,887 --> 00:04:30,238
There's five.
122
00:04:30,324 --> 00:04:32,329
Oh, my, this is tricky.
123
00:04:32,413 --> 00:04:34,459
Well, Mexican's
at least three apiece.
124
00:04:34,545 --> 00:04:37,139
We might get by with two each
if it's Italian.
125
00:04:37,235 --> 00:04:39,928
You get red wine and
then tomato sauce.
126
00:04:40,148 --> 00:04:42,593
Hey, if they put lemon
in the water, we're dead.
127
00:04:42,677 --> 00:04:45,702
- Hmm. That leaves barbecue.
- Sold.
128
00:04:46,608 --> 00:04:48,375
Who gets Tum number three?
129
00:04:48,459 --> 00:04:50,523
Me. They're my Tums.
130
00:04:53,165 --> 00:04:54,875
Now, what do you
think young people
131
00:04:54,959 --> 00:04:56,312
talk about on
their dates?
132
00:04:56,396 --> 00:04:57,889
I don't know.
133
00:04:57,973 --> 00:05:01,240
But my knee's telling me
it's gonna rain this weekend.
134
00:05:01,326 --> 00:05:04,550
Speaking of this weekend, hey,
my son needs a final head count.
135
00:05:04,668 --> 00:05:05,975
Oh.
136
00:05:06,208 --> 00:05:07,951
It's a small wedding.
137
00:05:08,036 --> 00:05:09,824
It'll be weird if I'm there.
138
00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:12,569
Aw, come on,
I'm gonna be wearing a suit.
139
00:05:12,937 --> 00:05:15,113
I'm very sexy in a suit.
140
00:05:16,793 --> 00:05:18,021
Come on, Sheldon,
141
00:05:18,216 --> 00:05:19,819
think of it
as a free dinner.
142
00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:22,254
I'm a kid.
All my dinners are free.
143
00:05:24,394 --> 00:05:26,124
Is what they're asking
really that bad?
144
00:05:26,245 --> 00:05:28,805
Yes. I go to this university
to study science,
145
00:05:28,889 --> 00:05:31,725
not to help collect money
like an organ grinder's monkey.
146
00:05:31,810 --> 00:05:34,880
You see me go to the rallies and
fundraisers at the high school.
147
00:05:35,338 --> 00:05:37,045
I don't love it,
but I do it.
148
00:05:37,130 --> 00:05:39,499
And I hope they give you
all the bananas you can eat.
149
00:05:39,810 --> 00:05:43,146
Sheldon, donors like this are
very helpful for the university.
150
00:05:43,231 --> 00:05:46,271
They pay for all the science
equipment and your scholarship.
151
00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:48,521
I hadn't thought of it
that way.
152
00:05:49,130 --> 00:05:50,966
So I'll tell 'em
we're on for Saturday?
153
00:05:51,060 --> 00:05:52,499
I'll think about it.
154
00:05:52,598 --> 00:05:54,249
What's to think about?
155
00:05:54,350 --> 00:05:56,617
It's a night of you
showing off how smart you are.
156
00:05:56,879 --> 00:05:58,276
People do like that.
157
00:05:58,430 --> 00:06:00,170
All right, I'm in.
158
00:06:06,701 --> 00:06:08,151
Can I put on the game?
159
00:06:08,237 --> 00:06:09,372
I don't care.
160
00:06:09,456 --> 00:06:10,750
Sweet!
161
00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:15,805
What's your problem?
162
00:06:15,999 --> 00:06:18,091
Did you ever go
to a school dance?
163
00:06:18,685 --> 00:06:20,045
One or two.
164
00:06:20,295 --> 00:06:22,091
How'd you get Mom
to let you?
165
00:06:22,341 --> 00:06:24,300
Easy. Didn't ask her.
166
00:06:25,064 --> 00:06:27,461
By the way, that works
for all kinds of stuff.
167
00:06:27,670 --> 00:06:30,005
Well, it's too late.
I already asked.
168
00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:32,014
Rookie mistake.
169
00:06:32,293 --> 00:06:34,630
Why can't we have
a fun religion?
170
00:06:35,161 --> 00:06:37,119
I don't think
there is one.
171
00:06:40,053 --> 00:06:41,865
Come with me.
172
00:06:49,822 --> 00:06:50,913
Here.
173
00:06:50,997 --> 00:06:51,957
What is it?
174
00:06:52,043 --> 00:06:53,569
The answer to your problems.
175
00:06:53,654 --> 00:06:55,442
Cool. What other tapes you got?
176
00:06:55,750 --> 00:06:58,231
Nature films.
Don't worry about it.
177
00:06:59,132 --> 00:07:02,608
Hey. I just got off the phone
with President Hagemeyer.
178
00:07:02,692 --> 00:07:05,213
This guy we're gonna have dinner
with sounds pretty interesting.
179
00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:07,894
He made all of his money
selling antistatic furniture
180
00:07:07,980 --> 00:07:09,295
for laboratories.
181
00:07:09,380 --> 00:07:10,913
He's not even a scientist?
182
00:07:10,997 --> 00:07:12,699
He's just a furniture salesman?
183
00:07:13,872 --> 00:07:14,963
Yeah.
184
00:07:15,048 --> 00:07:16,396
What am I supposed
to talk about?
185
00:07:16,481 --> 00:07:17,877
Talk about whatever you want.
186
00:07:17,963 --> 00:07:19,874
Just... don't be insulting.
187
00:07:19,963 --> 00:07:22,279
What if he says something
I think is ridiculous?
188
00:07:22,372 --> 00:07:23,985
Keep it to yourself.
189
00:07:24,069 --> 00:07:25,266
What if you just said
something
190
00:07:25,350 --> 00:07:26,783
I think is ridiculous?
Because...
191
00:07:26,867 --> 00:07:28,394
Okay, maybe we need
to work a little
192
00:07:28,516 --> 00:07:29,685
on your conversation skills,
193
00:07:29,771 --> 00:07:32,473
like not calling people out
for saying stupid things.
194
00:07:32,557 --> 00:07:34,389
How am I supposed
to practice that?
195
00:07:35,245 --> 00:07:36,507
What's up?
196
00:07:44,233 --> 00:07:45,836
- Hello.
- Hey, June.
197
00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:47,187
It's Connie Tucker.
198
00:07:47,271 --> 00:07:48,843
Hey, Connie.
How are you?
199
00:07:48,927 --> 00:07:49,992
I'm good.
200
00:07:50,076 --> 00:07:51,920
Am I seeing you
Saturday night?
201
00:07:52,021 --> 00:07:53,733
Well, that's
what I've called about.
202
00:07:53,819 --> 00:07:55,398
Are you sure
you want me there?
203
00:07:55,483 --> 00:07:57,021
I mean,
it is your son's wedding.
204
00:07:57,185 --> 00:07:59,178
Oh, it's his second wedding.
Those barely count.
205
00:07:59,264 --> 00:08:00,882
Besides,
I'm bringing a date, too.
206
00:08:00,966 --> 00:08:02,569
Come on, it'll be fun.
207
00:08:03,052 --> 00:08:05,163
Okay. I'm in.
208
00:08:05,247 --> 00:08:06,312
Fantastic!
209
00:08:06,396 --> 00:08:07,819
So, how dressed up we getting?
210
00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:10,499
Oh, it's a small ceremony,
nothing fancy.
211
00:08:10,637 --> 00:08:12,906
You just saying that 'cause
you want to look better than me?
212
00:08:12,990 --> 00:08:14,444
Of course not.
213
00:08:14,529 --> 00:08:17,021
But I do believe
you'd be stunning in overalls.
214
00:08:17,978 --> 00:08:19,170
All right.
215
00:08:19,255 --> 00:08:20,295
See you then.
216
00:08:20,380 --> 00:08:21,505
Bye.
217
00:08:22,319 --> 00:08:24,124
Overalls, my ass.
218
00:08:24,389 --> 00:08:26,177
So you really
can't dance here, man?
219
00:08:26,630 --> 00:08:27,850
I can't believe that.
220
00:08:27,935 --> 00:08:29,319
- It's true.- See?
221
00:08:29,403 --> 00:08:30,942
They ain't allowed
to dance, either.
222
00:08:31,026 --> 00:08:33,412
It's like
I'm watching my life.
223
00:08:33,662 --> 00:08:36,030
That's how I feel when
I'm watching Top Gun.
224
00:08:36,866 --> 00:08:41,147
Okay, Sheldon, try having
a conversation with Billy
225
00:08:41,231 --> 00:08:42,490
about science.
226
00:08:42,725 --> 00:08:43,788
Let's see.
227
00:08:43,873 --> 00:08:45,850
Uh, what do you know
about quantum mechanics?
228
00:08:45,934 --> 00:08:47,559
My dad's a mechanic.
229
00:08:47,754 --> 00:08:51,076
At his shop, he has a calendar
with a bikini lady on it.
230
00:08:51,504 --> 00:08:52,514
Dad...
231
00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:54,373
Instead of losing patience,
232
00:08:54,466 --> 00:08:57,505
act interested
and ask a follow-up question.
233
00:08:58,544 --> 00:09:00,350
Your father's a mechanic.
234
00:09:00,630 --> 00:09:01,740
Interesting.
235
00:09:01,826 --> 00:09:02,952
You know what else
is interesting?
236
00:09:03,037 --> 00:09:04,788
Quantum mechanics.
That describes
237
00:09:04,873 --> 00:09:07,006
the basic particles and forces
that make up reality.
238
00:09:07,091 --> 00:09:08,374
Let's talk about that.
239
00:09:08,458 --> 00:09:10,586
I'm gonna marry
that bikini lady.
240
00:09:12,317 --> 00:09:13,767
I've been working on a theory
241
00:09:13,850 --> 00:09:16,210
about the wave-particle
duality of light.
242
00:09:16,294 --> 00:09:18,615
I have a nightlight
that looks like Spider-Man,
243
00:09:18,701 --> 00:09:20,490
but I don't turn it on.
244
00:09:21,936 --> 00:09:23,288
Go ahead.
245
00:09:24,450 --> 00:09:25,982
Why don't you turn it on?
246
00:09:26,067 --> 00:09:27,874
- I'm afraid of spiders.
- Yeah, seems like
247
00:09:27,958 --> 00:09:29,296
a good place to stop.
248
00:09:29,380 --> 00:09:30,493
Now what happens?
249
00:09:30,577 --> 00:09:31,914
You go home.
250
00:09:32,429 --> 00:09:34,056
Thank you for your hospitality.
251
00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:35,750
And it was King David.
252
00:09:36,820 --> 00:09:41,010
King David, who-who we read
about in-in Samuel.
253
00:09:41,381 --> 00:09:43,476
And-and-and what did David do?
254
00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:45,142
What did David do?
255
00:09:45,226 --> 00:09:47,105
What did David do?
David danced.
256
00:09:47,188 --> 00:09:48,411
"David danced
257
00:09:48,495 --> 00:09:50,602
"before the Lord
with all his might,
258
00:09:50,735 --> 00:09:52,937
leaping and dancing
before the Lord."
259
00:09:53,321 --> 00:09:55,352
Leaping and dancing.
260
00:09:55,437 --> 00:09:57,429
- I'm impressed.
- Thank you.
261
00:09:57,570 --> 00:09:59,539
Too bad it's from Footloose.
262
00:10:00,094 --> 00:10:01,797
What's a footloose?
263
00:10:01,961 --> 00:10:04,369
It is the movie that
Pastor Jeff warned us about
264
00:10:04,453 --> 00:10:07,134
in his talk on the
sins of cinema.
265
00:10:07,219 --> 00:10:08,518
Just let me go
to the dance.
266
00:10:08,750 --> 00:10:10,633
I'm sorry. I can't.
267
00:10:10,889 --> 00:10:12,907
I'm never talking to you
again!
268
00:10:15,554 --> 00:10:17,578
Did you show your
sister Footloose?
269
00:10:17,741 --> 00:10:19,477
- Did it work?
- No!
270
00:10:19,562 --> 00:10:20,735
Mm. Then no.
271
00:10:20,856 --> 00:10:22,336
Oh!
272
00:10:24,414 --> 00:10:25,822
Now, when you meet this guy,
273
00:10:25,907 --> 00:10:27,072
you got to shake his hand.
274
00:10:27,157 --> 00:10:28,727
What if I offer a stately bow?
275
00:10:28,812 --> 00:10:30,188
That's how they do it in Asia.
276
00:10:30,274 --> 00:10:31,735
You're shaking his hand.
277
00:10:32,461 --> 00:10:34,868
Then it's a good thing
I brought Old Righty.
278
00:10:35,062 --> 00:10:37,322
You're not wearing that
in a restaurant.
279
00:10:37,407 --> 00:10:38,287
Why?
280
00:10:38,370 --> 00:10:39,722
'Cause you don't
make a good impression
281
00:10:39,807 --> 00:10:41,274
by being afraid
to shake hands.
282
00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:42,899
Howard Hughes was a germophobe,
283
00:10:42,985 --> 00:10:44,369
and he did quite well
for himself.
284
00:10:44,453 --> 00:10:46,845
Didn't he go crazy
and save his pee in jars?
285
00:10:46,929 --> 00:10:48,048
Better to have it
and not need it
286
00:10:48,133 --> 00:10:49,165
than to need it
and not have it.
287
00:10:49,250 --> 00:10:50,947
- You're shaking his hand!
- Okay!
288
00:10:54,249 --> 00:10:56,509
Haven't been
to many weddings lately.
289
00:10:56,594 --> 00:10:57,957
Mostly funerals.
290
00:10:58,049 --> 00:11:00,938
Yeah, those don't have an open bar.
291
00:11:01,024 --> 00:11:02,533
I don't know
why I'm so excited.
292
00:11:02,618 --> 00:11:03,806
I'm paying for this.
293
00:11:03,890 --> 00:11:05,274
Hey, y'all.
294
00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:06,470
Hi, June!
295
00:11:06,554 --> 00:11:07,923
Don't you look pretty?
296
00:11:08,008 --> 00:11:08,977
Thank you.
297
00:11:09,062 --> 00:11:10,241
I happen to agree.
298
00:11:11,687 --> 00:11:13,836
Connie, Dale,
this is Justin.
299
00:11:13,921 --> 00:11:16,791
Hi, Justin. Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you, too.
300
00:11:16,969 --> 00:11:18,495
You must be
a friend of my son's.
301
00:11:18,601 --> 00:11:20,451
Actually, he's my date.
302
00:11:21,731 --> 00:11:23,432
Really?
303
00:11:23,633 --> 00:11:24,636
Mm-hmm.
304
00:11:24,937 --> 00:11:27,554
Much more fun than
a funeral.
305
00:11:30,383 --> 00:11:31,923
George Cooper,
306
00:11:32,008 --> 00:11:33,431
meet Gary O'Brien,
307
00:11:33,515 --> 00:11:35,250
the antistatic
furniture king.
308
00:11:35,336 --> 00:11:36,227
Hello.
309
00:11:36,312 --> 00:11:37,220
Shocking to meet you.
310
00:11:37,304 --> 00:11:39,563
Don't do that.
And this, of course,
311
00:11:39,649 --> 00:11:41,360
is our physics prodigy,
312
00:11:41,446 --> 00:11:42,860
Sheldon Cooper.
313
00:11:42,946 --> 00:11:44,437
A great pleasure.
314
00:11:44,592 --> 00:11:47,405
I had an obligation to fulfill.
315
00:11:47,953 --> 00:11:50,860
So I closed my eyes
and thought of science.
316
00:11:52,703 --> 00:11:54,407
Just like on my honeymoon.
317
00:11:57,164 --> 00:11:59,101
How's pizza sound
for dinner?
318
00:11:59,342 --> 00:12:02,304
You think I'm eating dinner
with my mom on a Saturday night?
319
00:12:03,346 --> 00:12:04,562
You're adorable.
320
00:12:06,653 --> 00:12:08,250
Guess I'm eating alone.
321
00:12:08,374 --> 00:12:09,547
What about Missy?
322
00:12:09,631 --> 00:12:11,618
She's not talking to me.
323
00:12:11,702 --> 00:12:13,490
She'd talk to you
if you just let her go.
324
00:12:13,573 --> 00:12:15,144
You know I can't do that.
325
00:12:15,227 --> 00:12:18,383
Come on. I went to school dances
and I turned out fine.
326
00:12:19,226 --> 00:12:21,149
I didn't let you go
to any dances.
327
00:12:21,360 --> 00:12:23,413
I did all kinds of stuff
behind your back.
328
00:12:23,496 --> 00:12:24,587
Like what?
329
00:12:25,118 --> 00:12:26,937
I'm dumb,
but I'm not that dumb.
330
00:12:27,094 --> 00:12:29,205
So I'm supposed
to just let her do
331
00:12:29,289 --> 00:12:30,322
whatever she wants?
332
00:12:30,407 --> 00:12:31,899
Yeah, I don't think so.
333
00:12:31,984 --> 00:12:34,163
I'm just saying
she's a good kid.
334
00:12:34,246 --> 00:12:36,133
Be glad she's still asking.
335
00:12:40,625 --> 00:12:41,907
So, how'd you two meet?
336
00:12:41,994 --> 00:12:44,346
Oh, I've been cutting
his mom's hair for years.
337
00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:45,875
Oh, that's nice.
338
00:12:45,961 --> 00:12:47,437
Bet you when she cuts your hair,
339
00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:49,436
you get a lollipop,
don't you?
340
00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:52,633
Oh, he gets
more than a lollipop.
341
00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:54,928
- Really? Is that so?
- Dale.
342
00:12:55,933 --> 00:12:58,517
Okay, so what is it
you do, Langston?
343
00:12:58,601 --> 00:12:59,710
Justin.
344
00:12:59,793 --> 00:13:00,955
Actually, I'm about
345
00:13:01,039 --> 00:13:02,383
to open a frozen
yogurt shop.
346
00:13:02,467 --> 00:13:04,110
Frozen yogurt.
Right.
347
00:13:04,196 --> 00:13:05,846
Isn't that, like,
crappy ice cream?
348
00:13:06,780 --> 00:13:08,907
We consider it a
healthy alternative.
349
00:13:09,015 --> 00:13:11,039
Right.
Crappy ice cream.
350
00:13:11,249 --> 00:13:13,330
It's actually getting
really popular.
351
00:13:13,414 --> 00:13:14,506
I'm gonna invest.
352
00:13:14,591 --> 00:13:15,705
Invest money?
353
00:13:15,789 --> 00:13:17,772
What else
would she invest with?
354
00:13:17,855 --> 00:13:19,599
I don't know.
You got fake ice cream.
355
00:13:19,682 --> 00:13:21,514
- How 'bout fake money?
- Well, there's...
356
00:13:21,597 --> 00:13:24,342
Hey, would you mind going
to get me another drink, please?
357
00:13:24,427 --> 00:13:25,443
Happy to.
358
00:13:25,528 --> 00:13:26,748
Thank you.
359
00:13:28,101 --> 00:13:29,351
What's your problem?
360
00:13:29,437 --> 00:13:30,697
Yeah, what is your problem?
361
00:13:30,782 --> 00:13:31,960
Who said I had a problem?
362
00:13:32,043 --> 00:13:34,309
- We did.
- You're being rude.
363
00:13:34,394 --> 00:13:37,125
Okay, you want to spend
all your money on some boy toy,
364
00:13:37,211 --> 00:13:38,618
it's none of my business.
365
00:13:38,701 --> 00:13:40,576
Why do you care what she
does with her own money?
366
00:13:40,661 --> 00:13:42,100
- Yeah, why?
- Well, you got
367
00:13:42,183 --> 00:13:44,624
some young guy running around,
asking for money.
368
00:13:44,707 --> 00:13:46,360
You don't think I know
what that's all about?
369
00:13:46,445 --> 00:13:48,822
Okay, he didn't ask...
I offered.
370
00:13:48,907 --> 00:13:50,804
And I can do what I want.
I'm a grown woman.
371
00:13:50,889 --> 00:13:53,735
Oh, hell, you were a grown woman
when he was born.
372
00:13:57,707 --> 00:14:00,073
Sheldon, why don't
you tell Mr. O'Brien
373
00:14:00,158 --> 00:14:03,207
about some of your goals
at the university.
374
00:14:03,407 --> 00:14:05,514
Well, I'm pushing
for stricter dress codes.
375
00:14:05,599 --> 00:14:06,777
There are a lot of
belly buttons on display.
376
00:14:06,860 --> 00:14:07,908
Science goals.
377
00:14:07,993 --> 00:14:09,866
My ultimate goal
is to one day devise
378
00:14:09,951 --> 00:14:11,782
the grand unified field theory.
379
00:14:11,865 --> 00:14:13,043
Ah.
380
00:14:13,432 --> 00:14:15,046
You're one of those, are you?
381
00:14:15,179 --> 00:14:16,806
Excuse me?
382
00:14:16,890 --> 00:14:19,884
Well, Kurt Godel's
incompleteness theorems
383
00:14:19,969 --> 00:14:23,625
eliminate the possibility
of a unified theory.
384
00:14:23,782 --> 00:14:25,883
- You honestly believe that?
- Sheldon.
385
00:14:27,812 --> 00:14:29,181
That's... interesting.
386
00:14:29,265 --> 00:14:31,374
Tell me more
about how Einstein's life goal
387
00:14:31,458 --> 00:14:33,286
was nothing but folly.
388
00:14:35,133 --> 00:14:36,676
What is she thinking?
389
00:14:37,321 --> 00:14:40,313
Maybe she's thinking,
"Why did I come here with this guy?"
390
00:14:40,399 --> 00:14:41,619
Wait, no,
391
00:14:41,703 --> 00:14:43,259
that's what I'm thinking.
392
00:14:43,506 --> 00:14:44,907
You know what I'm talking about.
393
00:14:44,991 --> 00:14:47,110
She brought him here on purpose.
394
00:14:47,196 --> 00:14:49,142
- What purpose?
- To upset me.
395
00:14:49,226 --> 00:14:50,235
You know, Dale,
396
00:14:50,321 --> 00:14:52,414
not everything
is always about you.
397
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:54,058
Well, you're mad at me,
she's mad at me.
398
00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:55,658
It seems like
it's all about me.
399
00:14:55,743 --> 00:14:57,274
Well, you owe
her an apology.
400
00:14:57,360 --> 00:14:58,499
Like hell I do.
401
00:14:58,582 --> 00:15:00,508
Then I'm gonna
do it for you.
402
00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:02,110
No, wait.
403
00:15:02,201 --> 00:15:03,336
Connie, wait.
404
00:15:03,461 --> 00:15:04,461
What?
405
00:15:04,562 --> 00:15:06,140
Bring me back a beer.
406
00:15:11,186 --> 00:15:12,219
Missy?
407
00:15:12,711 --> 00:15:13,813
Go away.
408
00:15:13,899 --> 00:15:15,471
I'm not talking to you.
409
00:15:15,703 --> 00:15:17,474
I know you're mad.
410
00:15:17,687 --> 00:15:20,302
But I've been thinking about it,
and...
411
00:15:20,719 --> 00:15:24,611
I trust you enough to know
that you will behave yourself.
412
00:15:24,985 --> 00:15:27,484
So, just this once,
you can go.
413
00:15:27,782 --> 00:15:29,205
Thanks, Mom. Love you.
414
00:15:30,615 --> 00:15:32,149
Why won't this open?
415
00:15:32,506 --> 00:15:34,317
Sometimes it sticks!
416
00:15:35,110 --> 00:15:36,724
I know, on the surface,
417
00:15:36,808 --> 00:15:38,480
Dale seems
like a...
418
00:15:38,735 --> 00:15:40,043
a bully, but,
419
00:15:40,129 --> 00:15:41,279
underneath...
420
00:15:41,364 --> 00:15:42,543
Still a bully.
421
00:15:42,626 --> 00:15:45,546
Well, yes,
but a little less of one, right?
422
00:15:45,838 --> 00:15:47,176
Sure.
423
00:15:47,297 --> 00:15:49,155
Thank you. You know,
424
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:50,894
I'm gonna bring him
a peace offering.
425
00:15:53,010 --> 00:15:54,232
Ain't he cute?
426
00:15:54,552 --> 00:15:56,825
Can you believe
that Dale thinks
427
00:15:56,909 --> 00:15:59,602
the only reason you brought him
here is just to piss him off?
428
00:15:59,687 --> 00:16:01,558
That's exactly why
I brought him.
429
00:16:02,830 --> 00:16:05,792
- What the hell is the matter with you?
- What?
430
00:16:06,192 --> 00:16:08,106
Why would you go
out of your way
431
00:16:08,192 --> 00:16:10,472
to upset Dale
at your own son's wedding?
432
00:16:10,605 --> 00:16:12,485
I don't know.
He's my ex-husband.
433
00:16:12,570 --> 00:16:13,573
Well, he's my boyfriend.
434
00:16:13,658 --> 00:16:14,879
Hey, that's your problem.
435
00:16:15,105 --> 00:16:16,636
Well, you're starting
to be my problem.
436
00:16:16,721 --> 00:16:18,817
Geez,
who's the bully now?
437
00:16:19,475 --> 00:16:21,780
I knew
I shouldn't have come here.
438
00:16:26,671 --> 00:16:28,413
Your ex-wife is a bitch.
439
00:16:28,644 --> 00:16:31,374
I am so filled with love
for you right now.
440
00:16:33,036 --> 00:16:36,259
I believe we have to look
to gravity and its magnitude...
441
00:16:36,375 --> 00:16:39,076
I was really doing my best
to hold it together.
442
00:16:39,161 --> 00:16:42,786
...could be a repulsive force
if you just add negative mass.
443
00:16:42,870 --> 00:16:44,474
I smiled and nodded
444
00:16:44,557 --> 00:16:47,085
like my meemaw's
Houston Oilers bobblehead.
445
00:16:47,168 --> 00:16:48,817
And I also discovered a way
446
00:16:48,903 --> 00:16:50,459
that we could
predict the masses
447
00:16:50,543 --> 00:16:51,873
of all the known particles
448
00:16:51,956 --> 00:16:54,629
using the Egyptian pyramids.
449
00:16:54,715 --> 00:16:58,669
In physics, there's a phenomenon
known as supercritical assembly.
450
00:16:58,754 --> 00:17:02,360
If you bring enough material
together in one place...
451
00:17:02,445 --> 00:17:04,625
The trick is numerology.
452
00:17:04,709 --> 00:17:06,450
...in the right configuration,
453
00:17:06,535 --> 00:17:08,757
eventually, it will explode.
454
00:17:08,867 --> 00:17:10,894
This is fun. Not a lot of
people I can talk to
455
00:17:10,980 --> 00:17:12,419
scientist-to-scientist.
456
00:17:13,465 --> 00:17:15,809
We're not talking
scientist-to-scientist.
457
00:17:15,901 --> 00:17:18,123
You're not a scientist.
You're just a rich man that
458
00:17:18,222 --> 00:17:20,544
no one will be honest to because
everyone wants your money.
459
00:17:24,031 --> 00:17:25,471
Oh, don't listen to him.
460
00:17:25,555 --> 00:17:26,907
I mean, he's just a kid.
461
00:17:26,991 --> 00:17:28,952
Why don't you tell me
a little more
462
00:17:29,038 --> 00:17:31,380
about your pyramid
thingy? Huh?
463
00:17:32,740 --> 00:17:35,290
"Footloose"
by Kenny Loggins playing...
464
00:17:35,401 --> 00:17:38,432
It turned out
Gary did appreciate my honesty.
465
00:17:38,517 --> 00:17:41,146
The school got
a generous donation.
466
00:17:41,231 --> 00:17:43,126
My, my, my.
467
00:17:43,451 --> 00:17:45,759
That is a lot of zeroes.
468
00:17:47,391 --> 00:17:50,701
My father got Oilers tickets
from President Hagemeyer.
469
00:17:50,894 --> 00:17:52,724
50-yard line and free parking?
470
00:17:52,808 --> 00:17:54,424
Hoo-mama.
471
00:17:54,509 --> 00:17:56,229
♪ I'm turning it loose ♪ Footloose... ♪
472
00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:59,644
And I got a brand-new,
state-of-the-art
473
00:17:59,729 --> 00:18:01,160
antistatic lab chair.
474
00:18:01,244 --> 00:18:03,561
♪ Please, Louise
475
00:18:03,645 --> 00:18:06,069
♪ Everybody cut, everybody cut
476
00:18:06,154 --> 00:18:08,001
- It works.
- ♪ Footloose.
477
00:18:09,327 --> 00:18:11,538
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
478
00:18:11,623 --> 00:18:13,623
Synchronized by srjanapala
34339
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