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Previously onYoung Sheldon...
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00:00:03,307 --> 00:00:04,352
You must be
Coach Ballard's ex-wife.
3
00:00:04,395 --> 00:00:06,658
Yeah. Why?
4
00:00:06,702 --> 00:00:08,617
I'm kind of dating
your ex-husband.
5
00:00:08,660 --> 00:00:10,358
I knew who you were
the whole time.
6
00:00:10,401 --> 00:00:11,489
That's why I
came over here.
7
00:00:11,533 --> 00:00:13,404
Nicely played.
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00:00:13,448 --> 00:00:15,232
We ought to go out for drinks
one night.
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00:00:15,276 --> 00:00:16,364
Hell yeah!
10
00:00:16,407 --> 00:00:18,235
Yee-haw!
11
00:00:20,281 --> 00:00:22,413
College is a time
for new experiences,
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00:00:22,457 --> 00:00:25,416
being exposed
to exciting ways of thinking,
13
00:00:25,460 --> 00:00:27,462
meeting people
from different backgrounds,
14
00:00:27,505 --> 00:00:30,813
and the unexpected visit
from your dad in gym shorts.
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00:00:30,856 --> 00:00:32,075
Hey.
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00:00:32,119 --> 00:00:33,729
What are you doing here?
17
00:00:33,772 --> 00:00:35,426
I got a phone call.
18
00:00:35,470 --> 00:00:37,428
Apparently, the head of the
college wants to talk to us.
19
00:00:37,472 --> 00:00:40,344
Good.
You sure it's good?
20
00:00:40,388 --> 00:00:42,390
Well, it's better than
what I thought when I saw you,
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00:00:42,433 --> 00:00:44,087
which was,
"-Meemaw died."
Come on.
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00:00:45,393 --> 00:00:46,829
I was hoping in
college you wouldn't
23
00:00:46,872 --> 00:00:48,570
get called to the
principal's office anymore.
24
00:00:48,613 --> 00:00:50,572
She's not the principal.
She's the president.
25
00:00:50,615 --> 00:00:52,443
So if you're in trouble,
you're in big trouble.
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00:00:52,487 --> 00:00:54,489
That's a fun way to look at it.
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00:00:54,532 --> 00:00:56,839
Gentlemen, please have a seat.
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00:00:56,882 --> 00:00:58,493
GEORGE SR.
Sheldon's only been here
a few weeks.
29
00:00:58,536 --> 00:01:00,625
I hope he's not
in trouble already.
30
00:01:00,669 --> 00:01:02,192
What kind of trouble?
Did something happen?
31
00:01:02,236 --> 00:01:03,541
Ooh, maybe it's
from when I decided...
32
00:01:03,585 --> 00:01:05,021
All good.
33
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:07,067
You keep talking.
34
00:01:07,110 --> 00:01:09,069
Well, I'll just get
right to the point.
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00:01:09,112 --> 00:01:11,071
I would like you
and your son
36
00:01:11,114 --> 00:01:13,943
to meet with a very important
benefactor of the college.
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00:01:13,986 --> 00:01:14,987
Why us?
38
00:01:15,031 --> 00:01:17,120
Well, I mean, Sheldon is...
39
00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:18,426
is an impressive addition
40
00:01:18,469 --> 00:01:20,819
to the physics program,
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00:01:20,863 --> 00:01:23,387
and-and we like our donors
to feel really good
42
00:01:23,431 --> 00:01:25,172
about where their money's going.
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00:01:25,215 --> 00:01:27,130
I get it.
You want the star quarterback
44
00:01:27,174 --> 00:01:28,784
to shake some hands
with the boosters.
45
00:01:28,827 --> 00:01:30,481
Exactly.I'm not doing that.
46
00:01:30,525 --> 00:01:32,657
I didn't shake her hand,
and she's the president.
47
00:01:32,701 --> 00:01:34,964
No, you don't have
to shake anybody's hand.
48
00:01:35,007 --> 00:01:36,226
Then why did you say it?
49
00:01:36,270 --> 00:01:38,272
I didn't say it. He said it.
50
00:01:38,315 --> 00:01:39,664
But you agreed with it.
51
00:01:39,708 --> 00:01:42,493
All I'm asking you to do is
to go to dinner,
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00:01:42,537 --> 00:01:45,540
talk about science with a very
nice and, more importantly,
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00:01:45,583 --> 00:01:47,368
a very rich person.
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00:01:47,411 --> 00:01:48,673
Understood.
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00:01:48,717 --> 00:01:50,806
No, thank you.Buddy...
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00:01:50,849 --> 00:01:54,288
All right, Sheldon,
I was brought to this school
57
00:01:54,331 --> 00:01:57,987
to help raise its profile,
and one of the ways to do that
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00:01:58,030 --> 00:02:00,207
is through grants and donations.
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00:02:00,250 --> 00:02:02,470
You-you can understand that,
right?
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00:02:02,513 --> 00:02:04,776
I understand that you would like
to put the novelty of my age
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00:02:04,820 --> 00:02:07,170
and advanced intellect
on display to raise some cash.
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00:02:07,214 --> 00:02:09,303
No. Sort of.
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00:02:09,346 --> 00:02:11,870
Can I speak to you alone?Will you give us a minute?
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00:02:11,914 --> 00:02:13,655
Very well.
But if you're looking to see
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00:02:13,698 --> 00:02:15,700
if my father will be
a potential donor,
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00:02:15,744 --> 00:02:17,746
you are barking up
the wrong tree.
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00:02:36,808 --> 00:02:38,723
So...
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00:02:38,767 --> 00:02:41,770
how do we get your son
to cooperate?
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00:02:41,813 --> 00:02:44,164
I've been asking myself that
since day one.
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00:02:44,207 --> 00:02:45,948
Look, I don't mean
to put pressure on you,
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00:02:45,991 --> 00:02:47,819
but there's
a lot of pressure on me,
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00:02:47,863 --> 00:02:49,560
so I'm going to put it on you.
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00:02:49,604 --> 00:02:51,649
Look, I'm sorry,
isn't there anyone else
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00:02:51,693 --> 00:02:53,738
who can go to dinner
with this guy?
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00:02:53,782 --> 00:02:56,480
So I have a unicorn in my zoo,
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00:02:56,524 --> 00:03:00,049
but I should trot out a goat,
is that what you're saying?
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00:03:00,092 --> 00:03:02,399
Would you donate a new library
78
00:03:02,443 --> 00:03:04,053
to have dinner with a goat?
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00:03:04,096 --> 00:03:05,750
What restaurant?
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00:03:07,099 --> 00:03:10,277
Mr. Cooper, I need you
to understand something.
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00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:14,542
This university relies
on donations for everything.
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00:03:14,585 --> 00:03:16,674
For upkeep,
for salaries,
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00:03:16,718 --> 00:03:20,809
for scholarships, like the one
your son is currently on.
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00:03:20,852 --> 00:03:22,724
I'll talk to him.
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00:03:22,767 --> 00:03:24,813
Thank you.
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00:03:26,380 --> 00:03:29,731
And when you go to dinner,
wear real pants.
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00:03:32,647 --> 00:03:34,083
So, there's this thing
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00:03:34,126 --> 00:03:36,303
at school
I really want to go to,
89
00:03:36,346 --> 00:03:39,044
and before you say no, I just
want you to think about it.
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00:03:39,088 --> 00:03:41,699
What is it?Like a school function.
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00:03:41,743 --> 00:03:44,267
Why would I say no
to a school function?
92
00:03:44,311 --> 00:03:45,355
So I can go? You're the best.
93
00:03:45,399 --> 00:03:47,052
Hold on.
94
00:03:47,096 --> 00:03:49,098
What kind of function
are we talking about?
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00:03:49,141 --> 00:03:50,926
You know, just the normal kind.
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00:03:50,969 --> 00:03:52,580
With some kids.
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00:03:52,623 --> 00:03:53,972
And some music.
98
00:03:54,016 --> 00:03:55,757
You know you can't go
to a dance.
99
00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:56,845
Why not?
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00:03:56,888 --> 00:03:58,325
You know that, too.
101
00:03:58,368 --> 00:03:59,717
Because we're Baptist.
102
00:03:59,761 --> 00:04:01,241
But all my friends
are going.
103
00:04:01,284 --> 00:04:03,591
That doesn't
change anything.
104
00:04:03,634 --> 00:04:05,723
What if I promise not to dance?
105
00:04:05,767 --> 00:04:07,377
So you expect me to believe
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00:04:07,421 --> 00:04:10,032
that you are going to go
to a dance with your friends,
107
00:04:10,075 --> 00:04:13,340
they'll all be dancing
while you just stand there?
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00:04:13,383 --> 00:04:14,863
I go to church and don't pray.
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00:04:14,906 --> 00:04:16,778
How is this any different?
110
00:04:19,084 --> 00:04:20,999
Where we eating tonight?
111
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,176
Well, that depends.
112
00:04:24,220 --> 00:04:25,700
Why don't you look
in the glovebox
113
00:04:25,743 --> 00:04:27,267
and check on the Tums situation.
114
00:04:29,660 --> 00:04:31,053
There's five.
115
00:04:31,096 --> 00:04:32,837
My, this is tricky.
116
00:04:32,881 --> 00:04:35,187
Well, Mexican's
at least three apiece.
117
00:04:35,231 --> 00:04:37,668
We might get by with two each
if it's Italian.
118
00:04:37,712 --> 00:04:40,628
You get red wine and
then tomato sauce.
119
00:04:40,671 --> 00:04:43,674
Hey, if they put lemon
in the water, we're dead.
120
00:04:43,718 --> 00:04:46,677
That leaves barbecue.Sold.
121
00:04:46,721 --> 00:04:49,071
Who gets Tum number three?
122
00:04:49,114 --> 00:04:51,508
Me. They're my Tums.
123
00:04:53,728 --> 00:04:55,295
Now, what do you
think young people
124
00:04:55,338 --> 00:04:56,644
talk about on
their dates?
125
00:04:56,687 --> 00:04:58,863
I don't know.
126
00:04:58,907 --> 00:05:02,214
But my knee's telling me
it's gonna rain this weekend.
127
00:05:02,258 --> 00:05:05,522
Speaking of this weekend, hey,
my son needs a final head count.
128
00:05:06,958 --> 00:05:08,743
It's a small wedding.
129
00:05:08,786 --> 00:05:10,614
It'll be weird if I'm there.
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00:05:10,658 --> 00:05:13,574
Aw, come on,
I'm gonna be wearing a suit.
131
00:05:13,617 --> 00:05:15,793
I'm very sexy in a suit.
132
00:05:17,621 --> 00:05:18,666
Come on, Sheldon,
133
00:05:18,709 --> 00:05:20,537
think of it as a free dinner.
134
00:05:20,581 --> 00:05:22,931
I'm a kid.
All my dinners are free.
135
00:05:24,933 --> 00:05:27,022
Is what they're asking
really that bad?
136
00:05:27,065 --> 00:05:29,416
Yes. I go to this university
to study science,
137
00:05:29,459 --> 00:05:32,897
not to help collect money
like an organ grinder's monkey.
138
00:05:32,941 --> 00:05:35,770
You see me go to the rallies and
fundraisers at the high school.
139
00:05:35,813 --> 00:05:37,728
I don't love it, but I do it.
140
00:05:37,772 --> 00:05:40,383
And I hope they give you
all the bananas you can eat.
141
00:05:40,427 --> 00:05:44,039
Sheldon, donors like this are
very helpful for the university.
142
00:05:44,082 --> 00:05:46,694
They pay for all the science
equipment and your scholarship.
143
00:05:46,737 --> 00:05:49,174
I hadn't thought of it that way.
144
00:05:49,218 --> 00:05:51,742
So I'll tell 'em
we're on for Saturday?
145
00:05:51,786 --> 00:05:53,265
I'll think about it.
146
00:05:53,309 --> 00:05:55,267
What's to think about?
147
00:05:55,311 --> 00:05:57,618
It's a night of you
showing off how smart you are.
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00:05:57,661 --> 00:05:59,097
People do like that.
149
00:05:59,141 --> 00:06:00,882
All right, I'm in.
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00:06:06,888 --> 00:06:08,716
Can I put on the game?
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00:06:08,759 --> 00:06:09,934
I don't care.
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00:06:09,978 --> 00:06:11,719
Sweet!
153
00:06:15,462 --> 00:06:16,767
What's your problem?
154
00:06:16,811 --> 00:06:18,943
Did you ever go
to a school dance?
155
00:06:18,987 --> 00:06:20,728
One or two.
156
00:06:20,771 --> 00:06:22,773
How'd you get Mom
to let you?
157
00:06:22,817 --> 00:06:24,775
Easy. Didn't ask her.
158
00:06:25,907 --> 00:06:28,344
By the way, that works
for all kinds of stuff.
159
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,912
Well, it's too late.
I already asked.
160
00:06:30,955 --> 00:06:32,914
Rookie mistake.
161
00:06:32,957 --> 00:06:35,960
Why can't we have
a fun religion?
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00:06:36,004 --> 00:06:37,962
I don't think
there is one.
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00:06:40,312 --> 00:06:42,358
Come with me.
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00:06:50,932 --> 00:06:52,063
Here.
165
00:06:52,107 --> 00:06:53,108
What is it?
166
00:06:53,151 --> 00:06:54,718
The answer to your problems.
167
00:06:54,762 --> 00:06:56,590
Cool. What other tapes you got?
168
00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:59,114
Nature films.
Don't worry about it.
169
00:07:00,202 --> 00:07:03,901
Hey. I just got off the phone
with President Hagemeyer.
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00:07:03,945 --> 00:07:06,426
This guy we're gonna have dinner
with sounds pretty interesting.
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00:07:06,469 --> 00:07:08,819
He made all of his money
selling antistatic furniture
172
00:07:08,863 --> 00:07:10,430
for laboratories.
173
00:07:10,473 --> 00:07:11,779
He's not even a scientist?
174
00:07:11,822 --> 00:07:13,563
He's just a furniture salesman?
175
00:07:14,695 --> 00:07:15,826
Yeah.
176
00:07:15,870 --> 00:07:17,437
What am I supposed
to talk about?
177
00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:18,916
Talk about whatever you want.
178
00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:21,005
Just... don't be insulting.
179
00:07:21,049 --> 00:07:23,094
What if he says something
I think is ridiculous?
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00:07:23,138 --> 00:07:24,792
Keep it to yourself.
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00:07:24,835 --> 00:07:26,228
What if you just said something
182
00:07:26,271 --> 00:07:27,621
I think is ridiculous?
Because...
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00:07:27,664 --> 00:07:29,231
Okay, maybe we need
to work a little
184
00:07:29,274 --> 00:07:30,711
on your conversation skills,
185
00:07:30,754 --> 00:07:33,496
like not calling people out
for saying stupid things.
186
00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:35,411
How am I supposed
to practice that?
187
00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:36,717
What's up?
188
00:07:47,510 --> 00:07:48,990
Hello.Hey, June.
189
00:07:49,033 --> 00:07:50,339
It's Connie Tucker.
190
00:07:50,382 --> 00:07:51,862
Hey, Connie. How are you?
191
00:07:51,906 --> 00:07:53,124
I'm good.
192
00:07:53,168 --> 00:07:55,083
Am I seeing you Saturday night?
193
00:07:55,126 --> 00:07:56,650
Well, that's
what I've called about.
194
00:07:56,693 --> 00:07:58,260
Are you sure you want me there?
195
00:07:58,303 --> 00:08:00,262
I mean,
it is your son's wedding.
196
00:08:00,305 --> 00:08:02,264
It's his second wedding.
Those barely count.
197
00:08:02,307 --> 00:08:04,048
Besides,
I'm bringing a date, too.
198
00:08:04,092 --> 00:08:05,528
Come on, it'll be fun.
199
00:08:05,572 --> 00:08:08,270
Okay. I'm in.
200
00:08:08,313 --> 00:08:09,358
Fantastic!
201
00:08:09,401 --> 00:08:10,968
So, how dressed up we getting?
202
00:08:11,012 --> 00:08:13,405
It's a small ceremony,
nothing fancy.
203
00:08:13,449 --> 00:08:16,017
You just saying that 'cause
you want to look better than me?
204
00:08:16,060 --> 00:08:17,671
Of course not.
205
00:08:17,714 --> 00:08:20,195
But I do believe
you'd be stunning in overalls.
206
00:08:20,238 --> 00:08:21,979
All right.
207
00:08:22,023 --> 00:08:23,415
See you then.
208
00:08:23,459 --> 00:08:25,200
Bye.
209
00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:27,376
Overalls, my ass.
210
00:08:27,419 --> 00:08:29,378
So you really
can't dance here, man?
211
00:08:29,421 --> 00:08:30,945
I can't believe that.
212
00:08:30,988 --> 00:08:32,381
It's true.GEORGE JR.:
See?
213
00:08:32,424 --> 00:08:34,426
They ain't allowed
to dance, either.
214
00:08:34,470 --> 00:08:36,428
It's like I'm watching my life.
215
00:08:36,472 --> 00:08:39,475
That's how I feel when
I'm watching Top Gun.
216
00:08:40,476 --> 00:08:44,262
Okay, Sheldon, try having
a conversation with Billy
217
00:08:44,306 --> 00:08:45,350
about science.
218
00:08:45,394 --> 00:08:46,830
Let's see.
219
00:08:46,874 --> 00:08:49,180
What do you know
about quantum mechanics?
220
00:08:49,224 --> 00:08:51,226
My dad's a mechanic.
221
00:08:51,269 --> 00:08:54,403
At his shop, he has a calendar
with a bikini lady on it.
222
00:08:54,446 --> 00:08:55,404
Dad...
223
00:08:55,447 --> 00:08:57,406
Instead of losing patience,
224
00:08:57,449 --> 00:09:00,888
act interested
and ask a follow-up question.
225
00:09:00,931 --> 00:09:03,325
Your father's a mechanic.
226
00:09:03,368 --> 00:09:04,848
Interesting.
227
00:09:04,892 --> 00:09:06,154
You know what else
is interesting?
228
00:09:06,197 --> 00:09:08,112
Quantum mechanics.
That describes
229
00:09:08,156 --> 00:09:10,071
the basic particles and forces
that make up reality.
230
00:09:10,114 --> 00:09:11,594
Let's talk about that.
231
00:09:11,638 --> 00:09:14,031
I'm gonna marry
that bikini lady.
232
00:09:15,337 --> 00:09:17,252
I've been working on a theory
233
00:09:17,295 --> 00:09:19,471
about the wave-particle
duality of light.
234
00:09:19,515 --> 00:09:21,604
I have a nightlight
that looks like Spider-Man,
235
00:09:21,648 --> 00:09:23,345
but I don't turn it on.
236
00:09:25,521 --> 00:09:26,914
Go ahead.
237
00:09:26,957 --> 00:09:29,177
Why don't you turn it on?
238
00:09:29,220 --> 00:09:30,874
I'm afraid of spiders.Yeah, seems like
239
00:09:30,918 --> 00:09:32,354
a good place to stop.
240
00:09:32,397 --> 00:09:33,747
Now what happens?
241
00:09:33,790 --> 00:09:35,400
You go home.
242
00:09:35,444 --> 00:09:37,359
Thank you for your hospitality.
243
00:09:37,402 --> 00:09:39,840
And it was King David.
244
00:09:39,883 --> 00:09:44,496
King David, who-who we read
about in-in Samuel.
245
00:09:44,540 --> 00:09:46,673
And-and-and what did David do?
246
00:09:46,716 --> 00:09:48,196
What did David do?
247
00:09:48,239 --> 00:09:50,590
What did David do?
David danced.
248
00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:51,895
"David danced
249
00:09:51,939 --> 00:09:53,462
"before the Lord
with all his might,
250
00:09:53,505 --> 00:09:56,421
leaping and dancing
before the Lord."
251
00:09:56,465 --> 00:09:58,598
Leaping and dancing.
252
00:09:58,641 --> 00:10:00,556
I'm impressed.Thank you.
253
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,471
Too bad it's from Footloose.
254
00:10:02,514 --> 00:10:04,995
What's a footloose?
255
00:10:05,039 --> 00:10:07,607
It is the movie that
Pastor Jeff warned us about
256
00:10:07,650 --> 00:10:10,131
in his talk on the
sins of cinema.
257
00:10:10,174 --> 00:10:12,002
Just let me go to the dance.
258
00:10:12,046 --> 00:10:13,569
I'm sorry. I can't.
259
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,919
I'm never talking to you again!
260
00:10:18,487 --> 00:10:20,489
Did you show your
sister Footloose?
261
00:10:20,532 --> 00:10:22,534
Did it work?No!
262
00:10:22,578 --> 00:10:23,884
Then no.
263
00:10:26,408 --> 00:10:28,279
Now, when you meet this guy,
264
00:10:28,323 --> 00:10:30,368
you got to shake his hand.
265
00:10:30,412 --> 00:10:31,848
What if I offer a stately bow?
266
00:10:31,892 --> 00:10:33,458
That's how they do it in Asia.
267
00:10:33,502 --> 00:10:34,851
You're shaking his hand.
268
00:10:34,895 --> 00:10:37,898
Then it's a good thing
I brought Old Righty.
269
00:10:37,941 --> 00:10:40,596
You're not wearing that
in a restaurant.
270
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:41,771
Why?
271
00:10:41,815 --> 00:10:43,207
'Cause you don't
make a good impression
272
00:10:43,251 --> 00:10:44,426
by being afraid
to shake hands.
273
00:10:44,469 --> 00:10:45,993
Howard Hughes was a germophobe,
274
00:10:46,036 --> 00:10:47,429
and he did quite well
for himself.
275
00:10:47,472 --> 00:10:50,214
Didn't he go crazy
and save his pee in jars?
276
00:10:50,258 --> 00:10:51,215
Better to have it
and not need it
277
00:10:51,259 --> 00:10:52,390
than to need it and not have it.
278
00:10:52,434 --> 00:10:54,131
You're shaking his hand!Okay!
279
00:10:57,787 --> 00:10:59,789
Haven't been
to many weddings lately.
280
00:10:59,833 --> 00:11:01,443
Mostly funerals.
281
00:11:01,486 --> 00:11:03,924
Yeah, those don't have
an open bar.
282
00:11:03,967 --> 00:11:05,534
I don't know why I'm so excited.
283
00:11:05,577 --> 00:11:07,101
I'm paying for this.
284
00:11:07,144 --> 00:11:08,276
Hey, y'all.
285
00:11:08,319 --> 00:11:09,886
Hi, June!
286
00:11:09,930 --> 00:11:11,105
Don't you look pretty?
287
00:11:11,148 --> 00:11:12,106
Thank you.
288
00:11:12,149 --> 00:11:13,673
I happen to agree.
289
00:11:14,848 --> 00:11:17,415
Connie, Dale,
this is Justin.
290
00:11:17,459 --> 00:11:19,679
Hi, Justin. Nice to meet you.Nice to meet you, too.
291
00:11:19,722 --> 00:11:21,724
You must be
a friend of my son's.
292
00:11:21,768 --> 00:11:23,639
Actually, he's my date.
293
00:11:25,293 --> 00:11:27,034
Really?
294
00:11:28,165 --> 00:11:30,820
Much more fun than a funeral.
295
00:11:32,996 --> 00:11:34,868
George Cooper,
296
00:11:34,911 --> 00:11:36,521
meet Gary O'Brien,
297
00:11:36,565 --> 00:11:38,393
the antistatic
furniture king.
298
00:11:38,436 --> 00:11:39,394
Hello.
299
00:11:39,437 --> 00:11:40,482
Shocking to meet you.
300
00:11:40,525 --> 00:11:42,571
Don't do that.
And this, of course,
301
00:11:42,614 --> 00:11:43,746
is our physics prodigy,
302
00:11:43,790 --> 00:11:45,661
Sheldon Cooper.
303
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:47,271
A great pleasure.
304
00:11:47,315 --> 00:11:50,144
I had an obligation to fulfill.
305
00:11:50,187 --> 00:11:53,538
So I closed my eyes
and thought of science.
306
00:11:54,931 --> 00:11:56,803
Just like on my honeymoon.
307
00:12:04,201 --> 00:12:05,855
How's pizza sound
for dinner?
308
00:12:05,899 --> 00:12:09,685
You think I'm eating dinner
with my mom on a Saturday night?
309
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,556
You're adorable.
310
00:12:13,689 --> 00:12:15,430
Guess I'm eating alone.
311
00:12:15,473 --> 00:12:17,171
What about Missy?
312
00:12:17,214 --> 00:12:18,694
She's not talking to me.
313
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:20,565
She'd talk to you
if you just let her go.
314
00:12:20,609 --> 00:12:22,219
You know I can't do that.
315
00:12:22,263 --> 00:12:25,875
Come on. I went to school dances
and I turned out fine.
316
00:12:25,919 --> 00:12:28,225
I didn't let you go
to any dances.
317
00:12:28,269 --> 00:12:30,488
I did all kinds of stuff
behind your back.
318
00:12:30,532 --> 00:12:31,663
Like what?
319
00:12:31,707 --> 00:12:34,014
I'm dumb, but I'm not that dumb.
320
00:12:34,057 --> 00:12:36,190
So I'm supposed
to just let her do
321
00:12:36,233 --> 00:12:37,278
whatever she wants?
322
00:12:37,321 --> 00:12:38,975
Yeah, I don't think so.
323
00:12:39,019 --> 00:12:41,238
I'm just saying
she's a good kid.
324
00:12:41,282 --> 00:12:43,501
Be glad she's still asking.
325
00:12:46,678 --> 00:12:48,985
So, how'd you two meet?
326
00:12:49,029 --> 00:12:51,422
I've been cutting
his mom's hair for years.
327
00:12:51,466 --> 00:12:52,728
That's nice.
328
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,512
Bet you when she cuts your hair,
329
00:12:54,556 --> 00:12:56,471
you get a lollipop, don't you?
330
00:12:57,515 --> 00:12:59,996
He gets
more than a lollipop.
331
00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:02,129
Really? Is that so?
Dale.
332
00:13:03,391 --> 00:13:05,610
Okay, so what is it
you do, Langston?
333
00:13:05,654 --> 00:13:06,786
Justin.
334
00:13:06,829 --> 00:13:07,830
Actually, I'm about
335
00:13:07,874 --> 00:13:09,571
to open a frozen
yogurt shop.
336
00:13:09,614 --> 00:13:10,746
Frozen yogurt. Right.
337
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:12,922
Isn't that, like,
crappy ice cream?
338
00:13:12,966 --> 00:13:16,143
We consider it
a healthy alternative.
339
00:13:16,186 --> 00:13:18,536
Right. Crappy ice cream.
340
00:13:18,580 --> 00:13:20,190
It's actually getting
really popular.
341
00:13:20,234 --> 00:13:21,583
I'm gonna invest.
342
00:13:21,626 --> 00:13:22,627
Invest money?
343
00:13:22,671 --> 00:13:24,847
What else would she invest with?
344
00:13:24,891 --> 00:13:26,675
I don't know.
You got fake ice cream.
345
00:13:26,718 --> 00:13:28,590
How 'bout fake money?Well, there's...
346
00:13:28,633 --> 00:13:31,419
Hey, would you mind going
to get me another drink, please?
347
00:13:31,462 --> 00:13:32,420
Happy to.
348
00:13:32,463 --> 00:13:33,682
Thank you.
349
00:13:34,770 --> 00:13:36,772
What's your problem?
350
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:37,773
Yeah, what is your problem?
351
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:39,035
Who said I had a problem?
352
00:13:39,079 --> 00:13:41,385
We did.You're being rude.
353
00:13:41,429 --> 00:13:44,040
Okay, you want to spend
all your money on some boy toy,
354
00:13:44,084 --> 00:13:45,694
it's none of my business.
355
00:13:45,737 --> 00:13:47,652
Why do you care what she
does with her own money?
356
00:13:47,696 --> 00:13:49,176
Yeah, why?Well, you got
357
00:13:49,219 --> 00:13:51,700
some young guy running around,
asking for money.
358
00:13:51,743 --> 00:13:53,615
You don't think I know
what that's all about?
359
00:13:53,658 --> 00:13:55,617
Okay, he didn't ask-- I offered.
360
00:13:55,660 --> 00:13:57,880
And I can do what I want.
I'm a grown woman.
361
00:13:57,924 --> 00:14:00,535
Hell, you were a grown woman
when he was born.
362
00:14:04,931 --> 00:14:07,150
Sheldon, why don't
you tell Mr. O'Brien
363
00:14:07,194 --> 00:14:10,284
about some of your goals
at the university.
364
00:14:10,327 --> 00:14:12,590
Well, I'm pushing
for stricter dress codes.
365
00:14:12,634 --> 00:14:13,853
There are a lot of
belly buttons on display.
366
00:14:13,896 --> 00:14:14,984
Science goals.
367
00:14:15,028 --> 00:14:16,943
My ultimate goal
is to one day devise
368
00:14:16,986 --> 00:14:18,858
the grand unified field theory.
369
00:14:20,163 --> 00:14:21,817
You're one of those, are you?
370
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,384
Excuse me?
371
00:14:23,427 --> 00:14:26,126
Well, Kurt Godel's
incompleteness theorems
372
00:14:26,169 --> 00:14:29,912
eliminate the possibility
of a unified theory.
373
00:14:29,956 --> 00:14:32,436
You honestly believe that?Sheldon.
374
00:14:33,437 --> 00:14:35,744
That's... interesting.
375
00:14:35,787 --> 00:14:37,833
Tell me more
about how Einstein's life goal
376
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,704
was nothing but folly.
377
00:14:41,184 --> 00:14:43,752
What is she thinking?
378
00:14:43,795 --> 00:14:46,668
Maybe she's thinking, "Why did
I come here with this guy?"
379
00:14:46,711 --> 00:14:47,974
Wait, no,
380
00:14:48,017 --> 00:14:49,453
that's what I'm thinking.
381
00:14:49,497 --> 00:14:51,107
You know what I'm talking about.
382
00:14:51,151 --> 00:14:52,935
She brought him here on purpose.
383
00:14:52,979 --> 00:14:55,503
What purpose?To upset me.
384
00:14:55,546 --> 00:14:56,678
You know, Dale,
385
00:14:56,721 --> 00:14:58,854
not everything
is always about you.
386
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,508
Well, you're mad at me,
she's mad at me.
387
00:15:00,551 --> 00:15:01,857
It seems like
it's all about me.
388
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,511
Well, you owe
her an apology.
389
00:15:03,554 --> 00:15:04,947
Like hell I do.
390
00:15:04,991 --> 00:15:06,818
Then I'm gonna
do it for you.
391
00:15:06,862 --> 00:15:08,559
No, wait.
392
00:15:08,603 --> 00:15:09,778
Connie, wait.
393
00:15:09,821 --> 00:15:10,822
What?
394
00:15:10,866 --> 00:15:12,302
Bring me back a beer.
395
00:15:17,003 --> 00:15:17,960
Missy?
396
00:15:18,004 --> 00:15:19,962
Go away.
397
00:15:20,006 --> 00:15:21,921
I'm not talking to you.
398
00:15:21,964 --> 00:15:23,923
I know you're mad.
399
00:15:23,966 --> 00:15:26,751
But I've been thinking about it,
and...
400
00:15:26,795 --> 00:15:31,060
I trust you enough to know
that you will behave yourself.
401
00:15:31,104 --> 00:15:33,933
So, just this once, you can go.
402
00:15:33,976 --> 00:15:35,282
Thanks, Mom. Love you.
403
00:15:37,023 --> 00:15:38,981
Why won't this open?
404
00:15:39,025 --> 00:15:40,635
Sometimes it sticks!
405
00:15:41,636 --> 00:15:43,290
I know, on the surface,
406
00:15:43,333 --> 00:15:44,813
Dale seems
like a...
407
00:15:44,856 --> 00:15:46,206
a bully, but,
408
00:15:46,249 --> 00:15:47,729
underneath...
409
00:15:47,772 --> 00:15:48,991
Still a bully.
410
00:15:49,035 --> 00:15:51,994
Well, yes,
but a little less of one, right?
411
00:15:52,038 --> 00:15:53,865
Sure.
412
00:15:53,909 --> 00:15:55,606
Thank you. You know,
413
00:15:55,650 --> 00:15:56,999
I'm gonna bring him
a peace offering.
414
00:15:59,654 --> 00:16:00,916
Ain't he cute?
415
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,049
Can you believe that Dale thinks
416
00:16:03,092 --> 00:16:06,052
the only reason you brought him
here is just to piss him off?
417
00:16:06,095 --> 00:16:07,967
That's exactly why
I brought him.
418
00:16:09,403 --> 00:16:12,406
What the hell is
the matter with you?What?
419
00:16:12,449 --> 00:16:14,408
Why would you go out of your way
420
00:16:14,451 --> 00:16:16,801
to upset Dale
at your own son's wedding?
421
00:16:16,845 --> 00:16:18,934
I don't know.
He's my ex-husband.
422
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,022
Well, he's my boyfriend.
423
00:16:20,066 --> 00:16:21,328
Hey, that's your problem.
424
00:16:21,371 --> 00:16:23,547
Well, you're starting
to be my problem.
425
00:16:23,591 --> 00:16:24,940
Geez, who's the bully now?
426
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,291
: I knew
I shouldn't have come here.
427
00:16:33,079 --> 00:16:34,863
Your ex-wife is a bitch.
428
00:16:34,906 --> 00:16:37,822
I am so filled with love
for you right now.
429
00:16:39,476 --> 00:16:42,740
I believe we have to look
to gravity and its magnitude...
430
00:16:42,784 --> 00:16:45,526
I was really doing my best
to hold it together.
431
00:16:45,569 --> 00:16:49,051
...could be a repulsive force
if you just add negative mass.
432
00:16:49,095 --> 00:16:50,922
I smiled and nodded
433
00:16:50,966 --> 00:16:53,534
like my meemaw's
Houston Oilers bobblehead.
434
00:16:53,577 --> 00:16:55,144
And I also discovered a way
435
00:16:55,188 --> 00:16:56,711
that we could
predict the masses
436
00:16:56,754 --> 00:16:58,321
of all the known particles
437
00:16:58,365 --> 00:17:01,411
using the Egyptian pyramids.
438
00:17:01,455 --> 00:17:05,024
In physics, there's a phenomenon known as supercritical assembly.
439
00:17:05,067 --> 00:17:08,810
If you bring enough material
together in one place...
440
00:17:08,853 --> 00:17:11,073
The trick is numerology.
441
00:17:11,117 --> 00:17:13,075
...in the right configuration,
442
00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:15,382
eventually, it will explode.
443
00:17:15,425 --> 00:17:17,601
This is fun. Not a lot of
people I can talk to
444
00:17:17,645 --> 00:17:19,125
scientist-to-scientist.
445
00:17:19,168 --> 00:17:22,258
We're not talking
scientist-to-scientist.
446
00:17:22,302 --> 00:17:24,565
You're not a scientist.
You're just a rich man that
447
00:17:24,608 --> 00:17:27,176
no one will be honest to because
everyone wants your money.
448
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:31,920
Don't listen to him.
449
00:17:31,963 --> 00:17:33,356
I mean, he's just a kid.
450
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:35,402
Why don't you tell me
a little more
451
00:17:35,445 --> 00:17:36,490
about your pyramid
thingy?
452
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:48,502
It turned out
Gary did appreciate my honesty.
453
00:17:48,545 --> 00:17:50,852
The school got
a generous donation.
454
00:17:50,895 --> 00:17:53,072
My, my, my.
455
00:17:53,115 --> 00:17:55,422
That is a lot of zeroes.
456
00:17:57,163 --> 00:18:00,514
My father got Oilers tickets
from President Hagemeyer.
457
00:18:00,557 --> 00:18:02,429
50-yard line and free parking?
458
00:18:02,472 --> 00:18:03,952
Hoo-mama.
459
00:18:06,259 --> 00:18:09,349
And I got a brand-new,
state-of-the-art
460
00:18:09,392 --> 00:18:10,611
antistatic lab chair.
461
00:18:23,580 --> 00:18:26,540
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
462
00:18:26,583 --> 00:18:32,546
WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
463
00:18:32,589 --> 00:18:35,592
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