All language subtitles for The Hottest State (2006) BR.1080p.eng

Here's
how the story was told to me.

I always say

I got things wrong

I waited here

A bit too long

- Just ignore him.
- Okay.

Hey, hey, what y'all doing?

Say Jesse, how 'bout you
talk Danielle out

of being mad at me?

And both of y'all hop in the
car with me and Vince here,

and we can all take a
spin into Dallas.

We got school tomorrow, stupid.

Oh come on, Jesse.

We'll be back before anybody
gets in any real trouble.

Y'all know Vince?

This here is Vince Harding.

Vince, this is Jesse, and
that one's Dan.

Dan's a little mad at
me right now.

I'm not mad at you,
John Jaegerman.

I'm just bored with you.

Jesse, will you tell Dan
that she's the only girl

I'll ever love?

Jesse, will
you tell John to please

think about that the next time
he decides to steal a car?

They didn't
even press any charges.

They knew I was just
goofing around.

What about you, Mr. Vince?

Do you talk?

I know a joke.

Well let's hear it.

Okay.

There's these two monks,
alright?

There's like a regular monk guy.

My mother didn't need

to hear the joke.

She was already dead
bull's eye in love.

She listened to the
sound of his voice,

thinking what a good
father he'd make.

And the guy says, "Well,
I'm not much into fish,

"but I sure am gonna love
working with you fuckin' guys".

Come on, Dan, let's
go to Dallas.

Now I'm stuck here

Looking by

Where I lost a friend

It's a nice car.

It's just a 'Cuda.

Now I have lost my head

Way back when the
world was young

Long before the song was sung

Three weeks later,

I was conceived in the
back of that Plymouth.

I was thinking a lot
about that story.

I wondered if sex was
easier in Texas

than it was in New York.

I wondered how my father
had talked to my mother.

I wondered how other
men in general behaved

when they were alone with women.

Don't matter how long it takes

One day the dam will break

One day the tears will fall

Just by the waterfall

What will you give me for it?

What will you give me for it?

My heart is gold.

What will you give me for it?

My heart is gold.

What will you give me for it?

No matter how long it takes

You got
religion, and you've got sex.

In between is theater, you
know, it's where they meet.

"A Streetcar Named Desire",
half porno, half church.

It's like Buddhism, the
middle way, the razor's edge.

And my job, I'm like a
Buddha savant.

You know, I mean, should
we go to the brothel,

or should we go to the church?

Let's go to the theater.

Sarah doesn't think
men have vaginas.

Yeah, well, I agree with her.

What?

I said, I don't have a vagina.

Yeah, you do.

Hi, I'm William.

I'm an actor, so I'm
totally full of shit.

Don't believe a word I say.

I just figured I should tell
you that right off the bat

so you don't get
disappointed later.

You ever see "Star Trek"?

The original one?

Well, I'm kind of like
Spock in that episode

where he tells the replicants

that everything he
says is a lie.

And they go, "If everything
you say is a lie,

"then you're lying right now,

"which means you're
telling the truth,

"which means you're lying."

And then smoke comes out
of their ears,

and they malfunction,
and he gets to escape.

See, you just seem a
little stiff to me,

and I'm trying to make sure
you're not a replicant.

Do you speak English?

Yes.

Ah, good, I was
worried you didn't understand

a word I say.

Don't worry, you're
not that complicated.

What?

You're not that complicated.

Ah, thanks.

For you to hide

Are you nervous?

No, I'm not nervous.

Why would I be nervous?

When you know that I care

Okay, I'm nervous all the time.

I don't know why.

Me too.

One day, the dam will break.

So, you're really an actor, huh?

Yeah.

Yeah I got an audition
for the movie version

of "Camino Real" tomorrow.

You ever read that play?

No.

Tennessee Williams.

Me neither.

My lines are good, though,
I read them.

Well, don't you have
to read the whole play?

Yeah, I guess I should, huh?

I tried, it's just really weird.

It's about a bunch of
people unhappy

'cause they're not sure
if they're living

or they're dead.

Why do you want to be an actor?

I don't, really.

It's just the only thing I've
ever really been good at.

I want to be a singer.

- Oh yeah?
- Yeah.

You gonna be a star?

I want to be a musician.

Okay, that's cool.

I don't want to be famous,
you know?

I like to sing.

I want to do what I love.

Are you any good?

It's not important.

Are you any good?

I'm great.

Oh yeah?

Yeah.

I'm tellin' you, there's
nothin' I can do about it.

I'm just great.

Okay, well, do something for me.

My heart is gold.

What will you give me for it?

What's that?

Tennessee.

I'm just whoever I
pretend to be.

You ever feel like that?

Like all you are is the
person you were pretending

to be in high school?

No.

But don't worry, you
are somebody.

If you'd stop pretending,
it'll come out all by itself.

Do you want to get married?

No.

I don't want to be an actor.

It's a little disappointing
when your best quality

is pretending to be
someone else.

I want to be somebody specific,
you know?

I was born in Texas.

But I left there when
I was eight.

And sometimes, I think
if I had just stayed,

I could be a regular person,
you know?

Billy, the lumber guy,
or whatever.

Instead of running around
with my head cut off.

Why'd you leave Texas?

My mom had wanderlust.

What about your dad?

I don't really know him.

Don't smoke that.

Why not?

Because I'm thinking
about kissing you.

Okay.

Good to know.

It's good to know.

So you're gonna
be a big movie star, huh?

Yeah, it's my destiny.

God, you're unbelievable.

I try to be.

Born yesterday, but I
stayed up all night.

This is my door.

You live here?

Yeah.

No shit, really?

That's my window.

My window looks out on
your front door.

Well, I just got to
New York City tonight.

I'm staying with a friend.

Come here, come here, come here.

Do me a favor, stand right here.

Okay.

Right there, just like that.

Why?

That's good, one second.

I feel weird.

What am I doing here?

What?

Looking
out at what was now her door,

I had the profound feeling
that my life had changed.

And I was right,

not in the way I had thought.

I hadn't met the woman
I was to grow gray with.

I was 20 years old, and
by the time I was 21,

I'd be heartbroken.

Hi.

Nice to see you.

What's your name again?

You don't remember my name?

I'm kidding.

Oh my God, did I do that?

Yeah.

Are you mad?

No.

Do you do that all the time?

Do what?

Kiss girls.

Hey Sarah, we're gonna
start in about

10 minutes, alright?

Is she okay?

I think something's
wrong with her microphone.

I'll get it.

Hey Sarah?

That dude said he'd take care
of the microphone business.

What? - Come here.

I'm behaving ridiculously.

Yeah, you are.

I'm sorry
about the hickey thing.

It's A-okay.

I should go now.

Okay.

Good luck.

Okay.

Just pretend
you're someone else.

What?

Think of your favorite singer,

and just start out by
pretending to be her.

The rest'll come easy,
and it'll secretly be you.

Can I borrow your jacket?

Come on buddy, take
off your jacket.

Come on, it's hot as
hell in here, man.

Come on buddy, take
off your jacket.

Now listen to me, William,
your mother and you

are moving away.

And I can't come after you.

I can't,

because I can't.

You know I'm going to try
to get some money together

and visit you as much as I can,

but it won't be as often
as I want, all right?

But it's killing me, all right?

I mean, it's, it's
really killing me.

And I want you to
remember one thing.

Can you hear me?

Just remember one thing.

I am not the one leaving Texas,
all right?

Will you remember that?

Come on, take off your jacket.

Some time when we meet up yonder

We'll stroll hand in hand again

In the land that
knows no parting

Blue eyes crying

In the rain

That's my jacket.

You know what I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna buy a car, an
old silver one

with a big dashboard, and
drive you down to Nashville.

Take you to the Grand Ole Opry,

and make you a big
motherfucking star.

Can I sing Johnny Cash?

Are you kidding?

Why don't you move in with me?

I came to New York to
be on my own.

I'll move out.

Sorry.

I found my own place.

But I'll stay with you until
my lease starts, if you want.

I want.

Yeah, it'll be good.

But I won't have sex with you.

Why not?

Because I have a
scar right here.

That's okay.

I got lots of scars.

Okay, then I'll sleep over.

But you won't have sex with me.

I'll have sex with you

when I have my own apartment.

So it's kind
of like an audition?

Yeah.

I hope I get a callback.

It was Wednesday when we met,

Saturday when I asked
her to move in,

and by Sunday there were
flowers in my apartment,

and hummus in my refrigerator.

I don't remember waking
up that Sunday.

I don't think I ever slept.

I just sat there thinking,

God damn,

this must be what
praying is like.

All right, ma'am,
where would you like this?

Yay.

You really got that part?

I really did.

You're really gonna
be in a movie.

That's awesome.

Yeah, we leave for
Mexico in a month.

That's where we're shootin' it.

Oh cool, Mexico.

That sounds like fun.

You know what we should do?

We should paint.

Aren't you sleepy?

No, I think we should paint.

Alright.

Well, what do you want to do?

You know what I want to do.

But painting's okay.

What's your shirt say?

I love to fuck.

Does that make you feel tough?

It does.

Well, you better get
serious about your painting,

because we're not gonna
go to bed tonight

'til this whole
apartment is blue.

You're the type of boy
who gets girls pregnant.

Do you know that?

Yeah, my mother used
to say that all the time.

You should think
of me as very fragile.

I just didn't want to be
feeling this way right now.

How do you feel?

Don't play dumb.

I'm here to be on my own.

I'll probably just run
away and leave you crushed.

Nah, you can't hurt me.

That's the problem.

You just got to stick
around and hear the jokes.

Oh brother.

Do you know how dumb I feel?

What do you mean?

When you're
thinking about sex like 24 hours

a day, it significantly
deteriorates your intelligence.

You know what?

We should have done it
that first night.

That first night we kissed,
I wanted to sleep with you.

You're just giving me
too much time to think.

I didn't think it was
gonna be a one shot deal.

Oh, come on.

When's it gonna get ugly?

When's it gonna get abusive?

I don't know, but
it always does.

What kind of shit do you
think we'll say

about each other
after we break up?

Frigid bitch.

All he thinks about is himself.

She's really still just a child.

He doesn't ever listen.

Oh, she's completely
without talent.

Oh, he calls himself an actor?

What a phoney.

Isn't it strange that'll happen?

I'll come in here one night,

"Listen, we got to talk".

What is it?

It's just I've been
thinking and...

And what?

I just need a little
space is all.

Space for what?

Look, don't make this
any harder than it is.

I don't make you happy,
you don't make me happy.

Yes, yes, you do.

We can work this out,
I love you.

You're seeing someone else.

No, don't say that, it
doesn't matter.

- Who is it?
- It doesn't matter.

Who is it?

See, I can't even talk to you.

Who is it, who is it?

I always knew you didn't
care about me.

You just needed
someone to talk at.

I could have been any girl.

Now, don't go feeling
sorry for yourself.

The point is, it's over.

It was fun, but I'm just not
boyfriend material, you know?

Okay.

I think we have to
stop now because,

oh my God, I'm so stupid.

I'm so stupid.

I can't do this with you.

We were joking.

I can't do that.

It was a dumb game.

I don't what
a boyfriend right now.

Don't start having some
self-fulfilling

prophecy that I'm
gonna hurt you.

I promised myself
I wasn't gonna do this.

Listen, if you could be
inside my body when I see you,

or touch you, or think
that I might see you

or touch you, you would
stop crying and slap me,

because I'm either crazy
about you, or I'm going crazy.

- You are crazy.
- Oh yeah?

Yeah.

Well, if you don't say,
"I'm gonna to get over

"my stupid hang-ups and
fall desperately in love",

I'm gonna jump off this bed.

I'm not gonna say that.

Say it!

I don't have
any stupid hang-ups.

Oh, you better say it!

You know what, just, just stop.

Are you okay?

Say you're falling
desperately in love with me,

and I'll come back to life.

No.

What do you even mean by love?

I'm dying.

You're not dying.

Say you desperately want
to kiss me passionately,

and I'll come back to life.

I desperately want to
kiss you passionately.

A tragedy narrowly averted.

Come here.

I knew what was happening.

And it was nice,

but it wasn't what I wanted.

Yo Kilroy, you big boxing
bastard, get over here.

I remember
winning that, spring of '79.

I wasn't born yet.

Look, I'm not saying
you look bad.

I'm just saying, I wish
you were wearing a dress.

I personally find you more
attractive in a dress.

I'm not saying that to
be mean, but you asked.

And yes, I wish you
were in a dress.

I felt like wearing
jeans tonight.

So wear jeans.

Do you want me
to go home and change?

Would I prefer that, yes.

You are such a shit.

I can't believe you're
friends with him.

Hey man, you went out
with her first.

Hey, this is Sarah.

Oh hey, good to meet you.

Don't judge me too quickly.

My mother killed herself
when I was 12,

so I have a lot of
issues with women

that I'm still trying
to work out.

But I also have some
positive attributes,

unfortunately, none of which
will be revealed this evening

because I am
extremely inebriated.

Alright, man.

Did your mother
really kill herself?

She was exactly like
Sylvia Plath,

without the publishing contract.

All right.

I'm trying to make you laugh.

Alright, man, I got to
show you something.

Alright, it's alright.

What the hell are we all doing?

Why is nobody setting
themselves on fire?

I would set myself on
fire, except you know,

I don't think alleged President
George Bush deserves it.

I don't think he deserves
my whole body.

I think he deserves
one singed ball.

"Sagebush
Trail", 1933, you ever seen it?

Come on, kiss her.

I was
actually there when he died.

You were there?

Yeah, yeah, I'll
never forget it.

Me and my buddy Danny,
we had just come

from a baseball game.

We're standing in line
at McDonald's,

and there was this old guy,

like right in line in
front of us.

This old man, he was just
crying, just sobbing.

I looked over at him, and
I said, "You okay, Mister?"

He looked back at me, with
tears, and he was like,

"Didn't you hear?

"John Wayne died today."

Yeah?

John Wayne had died.

It wasn't some numbnut, it
was John Wayne.

Well, I'm a vegetarian.

Actually, I'm thinking about

being a vegetarian.

- I'm Samantha.
- Hi.

So, are you
William's girlfriend?

Um, I guess.

I mean, we're just friends.

Cool.

Where are you from?

Your accent is just
so beguiling.

Thank you.

Did you guys used to go out?

Oh yeah we did, but
it was ages ago.

- Yeah, hmm.
- We're just friends now.

So what do you do?

I'm in college, I go
to Columbia.

Good.

I want to be a singer.

- Nice.
- Nice, yeah.

Yeah.

But I guess as far as
a job, I'm babysitting.

Oh, that's great, like a nanny.

- Hey!
- Hi!

- Hey.
- Hello.

What's up?

Good, hi, how are you?

- I'm sorry.
- I'm good, one sec!

I'm gonna take off.

What?

Dave is playing downtown.

So?

I should really go
and see his show.

What, the guy with the teeth?

This could be a job.

That's what I'm in
New York to do.

You don't need me here.

All right, well,
I'll go with you.

No, no, no, you stay
here with your friends,

and do your reading.

No, I'll go with you.

No, no, no, no, you stay here.

I'll talk to you tomorrow.

- No.
- No, no, no.

I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?

Bye.

Fine, fuck off then.

Well the scarecrow's waiting

Must come back some day

It must come back some day

To relieve his pain

Hi.

And the tin man's heart

Hi.

I'm sorry.

What are you sorry about?

I didn't like any of that.

Don't tell me to fuck off.

Did you ever hear the
one about the guy

who wanted to tell the
girl how much he liked her,

but all he did was stammer
and say mean things

when he wanted to be funny?

Did you ever hear the
one about the guy

who brought the girl to
a party where it seemed

like he'd slept with
every other girl there?

Don't kiss me.

Why not?

I don't like to kiss in public.

Well, let's get out
of here then.

I don't want to leave.

Christ, what the fuck do
you want to do?

Is this where it turns abusive?

God damn!

Bro, what are you, drunk?

Listen, I don't know
what's happening to me.

I don't want to tell
you to fuck off.

I don't, but since I met you,
I can't operate in the world.

All I think about is
if you like me,

and I know how lame that sounds.

If you want me to leave
you alone, I will.

I really will.

It's just sometimes you
meet somebody,

and you know whatever
you did before,

nothing could've been too
bad or too wrong

because it's led you
to this person.

And you feel like that person.

Are you that person?

Do you want me to go away?

No.

No, you aren't that person,

or no you don't want
me to go away?

Why do you like me so much?

Because you're special.

You're so, so special.

You're such a dumb boy.

I know.

Don't worry any more
if I like you.

Come on.

Starts out slowly

Come on.

Kissin' finally

You don't see her

Yes.

After a while

It's all her fantasy

William.

I bet this is good for you.

You screw around too much,
anyway.

That's probably half
of the reason

you're so crazy about her.

Remember that you're not a
piece of cake to be with.

What's that mean?

Well, you're pretty skittish,
you know.

You just don't come off as
the kind of guy to count on.

Does she get you off at least?

You know, take care of business?

A blowjob or something?

I don't want any more blowjobs.

You know, some
day, I'm gonna remind you

of that comment, and you're
gonna be deeply ashamed.

I have to stop seeing this girl.

Why?

Because I can't tell you,

man, I'm scared out of my mind.

Stop.

My hands are
shaking all the time.

Smart girls are tough,
they're a pain in the ass.

There's a difference
between someone who's smart,

and someone who
doesn't like you.

I will tell you one thing.

There's a difference
between a smart girl

and a girl who doesn't
like blowjobs.

You know, sometimes, I
think that if I could get

her to like me, then everything
I don't like about myself

would just disappear.

She wants me to go out to
Connecticut to visit her mom.

You think I should go?

Of course you're gonna go.

What do you mean?

Well, you're crazy about this
girl, you've got no options.

In a world of

Trouble

Don't you see

Father, we
thank thee for this food

and all the many blessings.

Bless them to our use,
and us to thy service.

And make us ever mindful
of the needs of others.

Amen.

Amen.

So, Sarah tells me you're
an actor, is that right?

Oh, yeah, I guess.

I hope you're not too vain.

Mom, you don't know any actors.

Yes, I do.

I've met a few actors, and
they're all ludicrously vain.

This is really good food.

Yeah Mom, it's real good.

How's everything in New York?

Everything's great.

Yeah, it's wonderful.

Sarah has big dreams.

Did she tell you she wants
to be a singer?

I've actually seen her sing.

But, did you hear her?

Mom.

Did she tell you that
I worked my whole life

as a secretary, saving money
for her to go to college?

Did she tell you I was
valedictorian of my high school?

No.

But I didn't attend university.

Sarah's father didn't
deem it important

that either one of us
go to college.

But she loves him.

Don't you, Sarah?

Don't you love your daddy?

Well, I suppose she has
told you all about him, right?

We haven't talked much
about stuff like that.

Excuse me.

She's not much of a talker,
is she?

Oh, don't get in a mood
now, Sarah, please.

Sarah, I'm not being bad, am I?

- No.
- No.

I'm just giving your
young gentleman here

a little information about us,
right?

Putting your daughter through
college all by yourself,

it is something to be
proud of, don't you think?

Yes, ma'am.

- I love you, I love her.
- Mm hmm.

Right?

She's beautiful, she's a
beautiful girl.

Very beautiful.

You can't trust love.

William, let me give you a
little piece of sage advice.

Friendship, true friendship,
is all you can trust.

You'll see.

Do you know what it is?

I always believed in
being of use.

I would ask myself,

"How can I be of the most use?"

Because William, it is in that
way that God speaks to us.

But Sarah, she doesn't
think about that.

She wants to be special.

Mom, I don't want to be special.

I like to sing.

The world needs singers,
doesn't it?

No, your mother doesn't.

- Well.
- There you go.

Your mother doesn't
need any singers at all.

Yeah, hm.

And, excuse me, New York
has more than its share.

Mom, you're drunk.

No, I'm not drunk.

I am your mother.

I have many faults,

the worst of which is not

how painfully I miss
my daughter.

But I'll be able to
stand before God,

and I'm a little
worried about you.

What about you, William?

Will you be able to
stand before God?

Well, Mrs. Garcia,

to tell you the truth,

it's my opinion that I
have stood before God

since the moment I met
your daughter.

Oh my.

Sarah, we have a bullshit
artist sit at the table.

Honey, I just don't what
you to get hurt again.

Well, he looks like David.

Shh.

Smells like David.

You know, he smells like
something I don't like.

I'm done.

You shut her up.

I'm sorry about that business.

She only does it
when she drinks.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Mm, well?

What, you're doing great.

- I am?
- Yeah!

Hey, wait.

What?

Who's David?

No one.

He's your old boyfriend?

Let's not talk about him, okay?

You know, some day, Sarah,
you're gonna

have to talk to me.

What do you mean, you
saw God in me?

I don't know.

Can I smoke a cigarette?

Sure.

Don't be mad, okay?

David and I went out for
the two and a half years

that I was at college.

We lived together.

After a while he said
he couldn't fall asleep

in the same bed with me.

I don't know why, so...

I started sleeping on the couch.

It's so embarrassing.

One night, I heard this noise.

So, I walk into our room.

And he had snuck another
girl up the fire escape,

and was having sex with
her in my bed.

The worst part about it
is that I was so,

I don't know, like
crazy about him

that I didn't break up with him,

or, I wouldn't let him
break up with me.

And then, I dropped out of
college to try to end it, and...

That's why my mom is so mad.

But the point is...

I'm not so tough or interesting
as you seem to think I am.

I'm just more of a dork.

Hey.

You should come to
Mexico with me.

I'm afraid of that.

They've given me a
first class ticket.

I bet I could trade it
in for two coach ones.

I'm afraid to fly.

You're bullshitting me.

Come on, you should come.

You have to work.

I don't want to talk anymore.

I want to fool around.

Good.

Do you have a condom?

No.

Then we can't do it.

Oh God.

Do you want to get me pregnant?

Yes.

Don't say that.

Okay.

Don't you find it odd
when you're a kid?

Everyone in the whole
world tells you

to follow your dreams.

And when you get older,
they act all offended

if you even try.

I'll go to Mexico with you
if you still want me to.

But we need to leave
a week early,

and then I'll come back home
before you start work okay?

Okay.

Good night.

Good night.

Mexico...

Is where it all went down.

I think we should have sex.

Right now?

Yes, but I have to ask
you some questions first.

Okay, shoot.

Do you have any diseases?

Nope.

Have you ever been baptized?

No.

Do I fail the test?

Why are you so scared
to have sex?

I think if we have sex,

I'll fall in love with you.

I'm not much of a lover.

William.

I want to fuck you.

Turn off the light.

Stop!

Get a condom on.

There's some in my purse.

Where's your purse?

In the bathroom.

Okay.

Okay.

Oh Jesus, I'm too nervous.

What?

I'm too nervous.

Okay, come here.

Fuck!

What?

Nothing.

Fuck!

Let's just go to sleep, alright?

What is it?

You don't want to do it?

Yeah, I do, I
just can't right now, is all.

Why not?

Why not?

Look, Sarah,
can we just go to sleep?

What's wrong?

Can I lift your veil now?

If you will be gentle, ooh!

What's the matter?

You're not being gentle.

Are you kidding?

No, I don't like
it when you're like that.

Like what?

Cynical and sarcastic.

I am sincere.

I am sincere.

Are you wearing protection?

No.

It's alright.

Come on, it's fine.

Cynical and sarcastic.

I am sincere.

If I would believe
that you believe you are,

for a while.

Everything's for a while.

For a while is the stuff
that dreams are made of...

Baby.

I am sincere.

I am sincere.

I am sincere.

I am sincere.

Take two, okay.

Action.

Can I lift your veil now?

If you will be gentle, ooh!

What's the matter?

You're not being gentle.

How was I being?

Rough.

Are you kidding?

No.

I don't like it when
you're like that.

Like what?

Cynical and sarcastic.

I am sincere.

I would believe
that you believe you are

for a while.

Everything's for a while.

For a while is the stuff that
dreams are made of, baby.

I am sincere.

We weren't good tourists.

In our room, the scent of
sex was thick.

I never wanted to take
a shower again.

My hands, my arms, my face,

all smelled of Sarah.

We would mess around all
day till it hurt.

It was hard to tell if she
was kissing me or touching me.

Every part of her body
was as wet as her mouth.

Sarah wasn't sexy the way
other people are sexy.

Her body wasn't tight or
taut or anything like that.

She was funny, the way watching
people fall asleep on buses

with their heads
continually dropping

and then jerking back up,
is funny.

She was human, the most
human person I had ever met,

and that was sexy.

Are you awake?

I remember one afternoon,

I came home from school
and my mom told me

my father had left us.

I didn't believe her.

I thought it was a game,

like hide and seek.

So I looked all over the house.

Closets,

under beds,

I looked everywhere.

Where'd he go?

He went to a rehabilitation
center in Albany,

and never came back.

But he wrote me once a month,

from the day he left 'til
I went away to college.

Once I was away from
home, he'd come visit me.

He just never wanted
to see my mother again.

His letters were my
favorite part growing up.

Always came in these dark
blue envelopes,

and I'd keep them in a
box under my bed.

I loved that they were blue,

because when he lived with us,

he'd come home always
wearing his blue work shirt.

And I'd sit on the back
of the couch,

and I'll scratch his back.

I'll scratch for as long
as my mom would let me.

When I went to bed at night,

my fingers would be
stained blue.

And you liked that?

Yeah,

I did.

Do you ever miss your father?

No, never.

You see me?

Would you like me to
scratch your back?

Stand up and go to the bathroom.

Why?

Just do it.

I wanted
to tell her I loved her.

I loved everything about her.

Oh, God.

I loved the way she
made me feel,

even when that was miserable.

I loved the way she
bought a dress,

the way she made love
in bathrooms,

the way she ate chocolate.

I loved her mother, her drunk
blue letter writing father.

I loved every thought
she ever had.

Papi.

Are you okay?

I just needed
to get some fresh air.

Well, go get us some beer,
maybe some OJ for the morning.

Yeah, good.

What is it?

I don't know, I got
this weird flash

of nervousness all of a sudden.

I love you.

I love you, too.

Go get us some beer, okay?

Okay, I'm on it.

Don't forget the OJ!

No problema.

Bye.

I ran through the city.

I wasn't looking for a
place to buy beer.

I just ran.

- No!
- Yes!

You don't understand.

I thought you're not
supposed to drink

the water down here.

But it's in a bottle.

But it's...

No, it's in a bottle.

Alright.

Tourista.

What?

Well...

Carmen Maria said it's
possible to get married,

if you really want to do that.

Today?

If you don't want to do
it, it's not a big deal.

No, I didn't say I
didn't want to do it.

I just said, "Today?"

Look, I don't know.

I'm just not sure if I
can be away from you.

And how many times in a
person's life

are you gonna fall in love?

I mean...

I'd love to marry you.

I figure, as long as we
maintain a sense of ourselves

as individuals, and
not become some sloppy,

clingy couple whose lives
revolve around each other,

then, it might be better
if we did get married.

Then, if something goes
wrong, or goes weird,

which, you know, it
most likely will,

we'd have to figure it out,

and one of us couldn't
just run away.

Do you want to have a kid?

Yeah, but not right away.

No, not right
away, of course not.

No.

So, what do you think,
am I crazy?

Let's do it.

Really?

I want to do it.

I mean, you have to be sure.

If we do this, we'll
be mentioned

in each other's
obituaries, no matter what.

Let's get married.

Let's be individuals,
let's have kids.

Yeah, not right away.

Not right away.

But, fuck it, man.

Let's do it.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

I don't understand
why you say that.

Well because it's my life.

Yes.

Mom.

I know it's fast but
it's what we want, Mom.

William.

William, come here.

Do you mind talking to her?

Just talk to her.

Hello, Mrs. Garcia.

So you
what to marry my daughter.

That's right ma'am, I do.

Stop calling me ma'am.

You sound insincere.

Fair enough.

Is she pregnant?

No, she's not pregnant.

I didn't
have Sarah till I was 30.

That myth about a young mother

having pretty babies isn't true.

Yep, I understand.

Now listen to me very carefully.

Okay.

You are a complete idiot.

You are both exceedingly
lacking in intelligence.

Am I being clear?

Yes, I think you are.

Since it doesn't
look like I can do anything

to change your mind, I only
can hope you prove me wrong.

I hope so, too.

Now give me back to Sarah.

Okay.

Bye, Mrs. Garcia.

Hi Mom.

Sarah...

Okay.

Yes, I understand.

Okay.

I love you too, Mom.

Bye.

Hey, what'd she say?

I can't get married.

What'd she say?

She said that it
was a good idea.

That you'll be good for me.

That I'll never make
it on my own.

She was actually very
surprised because

she didn't think that
you liked me that much.

I'm sorry, William, I was
just being ridiculous.

Come here.

No, I can't go anywhere.

Come here.

I'm not gonna get married.

- I know.
- Okay.

Two seconds.

Just follow me, come on.

Where are we going?

Where are we going?

You'll see.

Come on! - What?

Come on!

I'm going.

Promise me,

if something goes wrong,

if I run away,

you'll find me and
make me kiss you.

Nothing will go wrong.

Just promise.

I promise.

You know what it is
you miss most?

You know what it is
you miss most?

Thanks.

When you smiled and took my hand

Action!

And when you said there
is no question

And you kindly thanked me

I knew then

My girlfriend plays guitar.

Really, is she any good?

Yeah, she's really good.

Is she hot?

Yeah, she's real hot.

You know what it is you miss
most when you're separated

from someone you lived
with and loved?

It's waking up with that
warmness beside you.

Once you get used to
that warmness,

it's a hell of a lonely
feeling to wake up without it.

Especially in some dollar...

Can we do it from the top?

Yup.

You know what it is
you miss most when

you're separated from someone
you lived with and loved?

It's waking up with that
warmness beside you.

Once you get used to
that warmness,

it's a hell of a lonely
feeling to wake up without it.

Especially in some dollar a
night hotel room on the skid.

A hot water bottle won't do,

and a stranger won't do.

It has to be someone
you're used to,

and that you know loves you.

Cut!

Cut!

Hey, is this mike wire
supposed to be like up my ass?

I spent more than half the money

I made on that movie on
phone calls to New York

and on a last minute
plane ticket.

I changed my flight and
lost $700 so I could arrive

three and a half hours earlier.

No shit, I really did that.

I would never see you go

Hey, how you doing?

I came home early, I
wanted to surprise you.

You did.

I thought it'd be fun.

I'm eating oatmeal.

Yeah I can see.

How is it?

It's pretty good.

I got you these.

Thank you.

I brought you
that towel you wanted.

Thanks.

And here's a present.

It's a green dress.

I saw it on a mannequin,
and it reminded me

of that one you wear,
so I bought it.

I don't know if
that's lame or not,

buying something for
somebody that you know

they already have, but -
it made sense at the time.

Thank you.

No problem.

Do you want to put these flowers
in some water or something?

Sure.

Are you nervous?

Yes.

About seeing me?

You look different.

You told me you weren't
coming home 'til tonight.

I took a different flight.

Why?

Hey, I heard a joke,
you want to hear it?

Sure.

Okay, there's these two monks.

A monsignor guy, and a
regular monk guy,

and they're fishing.

And the regular monk
catches this humongous fish.

He goes, "Wow, that is one
heck of a son of a bitch",

and the monsignor guy says,

"My son, watch your language".

And the other one says,
"No, Father, I'm sorry,

"but that's the name of
the fish, son of a bitch."

"Oh", goes the monsignor.

So that night they're
initiating some new monk,

and they decided to
serve the fish.

They all sat down
eating this fish

and the regular monk goes,

"Boy, this son of a bitch
is really good".

And the monsignor guy says,

"Yeah, I've never had son
of a bitch this good".

And he turns to the new
recruit and says,

"How do you like the fish?"

And the new guy says,

"Hey, I'm not much for fish,

"but I'm sure gonna enjoy
working with you fuckin' guys".

I have to go to the bathroom.

How're you doing?

I just woke up.

I still need to go to
the bathroom.

Listen I've seen all this before

Last time I walked
through your door

Why am I still here today

Why have I no gone my way

You are lovely all the time

Now you've gone and
changed your mind

Is there something
that won't stray

In the change from night to day

Are you sure you can come?

Yeah, it's no problem.

We'll only be
gone for a couple of days,

and I'm kind of worried with
the two shows we're playing,

I might be kind of busy.

Well, maybe it's a better
idea if I didn't come then.

Are you sure?

Yeah, it seems
like you need a little space.

And I got some things I
could probably take are of.

Okay!

I think you're right.

What do you mean?

Well, you just said you
have some things

to take care of, right?

Yeah, but you know
that's a fuckin' lie.

All I do is go to the movies.

I've been to 13 movies
in three days.

I mean, you don't want me
to come, right?

I don't know, I mean...

I don't know.

It's just, you don't seem
to do anything

except sit around and
wait for me.

You know that's not the
couple we wanted to be.

I do?

Look, while you were gone,

I mean, I don't want to belittle

the time we spent in Mexico,

but it wasn't very realistic.

And all I did while
you were away

was sit around a wait for
you and think about you.

And, I can't do that.

I've done that before, and
I know that sounds, ugh.

Sometimes, you take that away.

I take that away?

Take what away?

I came to New York to
be on my own.

I'm just happy that I was able

to feel the way you
made me feel.

I didn't think it was possible.

Good, you look like
you're feeling better.

So, what's going on here?

Are you breaking up with me?

I just think we need
a little more space.

Space?

Can't you think of
something a little

more original than that?

I'm just trying to be honest.

Well, then, you're a
pretty boring person if like,

catchphrases from breakup 101
are your idea of the truth.

I like you so much.

Oh great, you like me.

So I don't have to
feel bad then.

That's super.

I'm a sweet guy.

A fun fellow to have
Margaritas and hang

with for a week or so but,

not somebody to see like
on a day to day basis.

Why are you doing this?

William.

You're gonna be fine.

Oh fuck you!

You're a spoiled, selfish,
cold coward.

I've told people to fuck off,

and I know how
important you feel.

I've been you, and I know
that you suck!

If you ever sell

It gets lonely there

It's an easy trip

Hey guys.

Do you think I could
borrow your cone?

The morning Sarah returned

from Boston, I was
singing a different tune.

It went something like,
I'm sorry.

Rise and shine, sleepyhead.

Or, I'm gonna huff and puff,

and blow your little house down.

Ooh!

Stop.

Thanks a lot, guys.

I appreciate it.

Oh, come on.

How do you like my outfit?

It's my "I'm sorry" outfit.

Look, I have to go to work.

I know, can I walk with you?

Are you Native American?

What?

Nothing.

Okay, so here's the deal.

I'm going to do the talking,
alright?

Because I have some
things to say,

and because you don't look
particularly talkative.

Not that you don't look
good, because you do,

that's why I asked the thing
about being Native American.

Anyway, I'll start the talking,

and if you want to jump in,
just say,

"Hey, I got something to say".

And five'll get you 10
then I'll say,

"Go right ahead".

Okay, I know what
you're thinking,

"God, this guy is such a creep.

"Two days ago, he says
all kinds of nasty things,

"and leaves my apartment
in a huff, and now,

"he wakes me up in a tuxedo,
howling at my window,

"and expects me to
think it's funny."

Well, let me tell you, missy,
you are absolutely right.

I don't even like myself.

So what, the suit
gets no comment?

"Why are you wearing that?"

"Oh, you're so zany."

Or maybe, "I can't believe
you're such a cuckoo-head."

Nothing, huh?

You're just gonna keep walking.

Okay, that's cool.

You want to know why I wore it?

An attempt to make movies
more realistic.

I like to embrace the cliche.

Hey, this is A material.

Okay, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I fucked up.

I got upset.

You just switched gears on me,
you know.

You got to admit that.

Look, I know you're
getting a little scared

that maybe we went too far,
too fast, and that's cool.

It's just you got to
give me a minute

to get the idea, you know?

I don't know how to
love you right.

You gotta let me know.

See, this is the way I see it,

if the attempt is all, then
I can promise you everything.

Look, I don't want a boyfriend.

Out on the corner

You look so pale

Hey, it's me.

Sorry for calling so
late but I thought

maybe if you wanted, we
could go get a cup of coffee.

Um, yeah.

No, I think I'm too tired.

It is late.

Yeah, I should go to bed.

How you been?

Um, fine.

What you been doing?

Where are you?

I'm in The Village.

Are you gonna be
singing anytime soon?

Um, no.

Listen, I should go to bed.

Yeah, of course.

I'll talk to you later, then.

Sleep well.

Okay, yeah, you too.

Goodbye William.

Bye.

I held onto the phone

like it was a piece of her.

Everything was
disintegrating so quickly.

I knew I was the dopey guy
standing out in the cold,

staring up at a warm window.

Hell, I wished it would rain.

It's just so hard to
miss someone

who only lives eight
blocks away.

At a certain point
William, your father not

calling you on your birthday
becomes your problem, not his.

I didn't expect him to call.

He loves you very
much, I'm sure of this.

Why are we talking about him?

I just think
it's too painful for him

to remain in contact with you.

Why are you giving this to me?

Who brought him up?

I'm sorry.

Why do you
think she doesn't like me?

Who?

What, that girl?

Because there's something
wrong with her.

No, Mom.

There's something wrong with me.

What do you think it is?

You respect people more
when they don't respect you.

That, and you didn't
go to college.

Those are your only two flaws.

Do you want to hear
about my new boyfriend?

I suppose that doesn't
interest you.

He's very funny.

His name is Harris.

I think you'll be
astonished at how many times

you fall in love.

I just...

I just don't seem to have
the first idea

about how men are
supposed to behave.

It seems like I don't
have certain qualities

that I should, you know?

I mean, I'm sure most men
don't sit around

getting all chatty
with their moms.

You know what I'm saying?

What are other men like?

Are they like me?

I don't know.

Hey, how come I'm not baptized?

Weren't you the least
bit concerned

with the state of my soul?

Listen, William,
there was nothing

anybody at the Fort Worth
First Methodist could do

for the state of your soul.

Oh, forget
it, it's not important.

Look, listen to me.

You've been ignoring me
since you were 15,

and I was thinking that a
good birthday resolution

might be to change your
attitude about your poor old Ma.

Don't be so moody.

A lot of bad shit is
gonna happen to you.

People are not gonna
love you back.

And if you're serious
about becoming an artist,

that's the first thing
you should learn.

And listen, you're gonna die,
okay?

Relatively soon, okay?

So, that being said, you
have nothing to worry about.

No matter what happens
in this life,

you have two options,
only two options.

You can handle things
well and be happy,

or you can handle them
poorly and be miserable.

It's up to you.

Look William, I'm disappointed.

I didn't escape Fort Worth
to sell college textbooks

in Trenton, New Jersey,
that was not my goal.

I thought my life was gonna
be so much more interesting

than it's turned out, but what
am I gonna do about it, huh?

The root of depression is
being too self-involved,

and the cure is to read.

Okay?

So, read some books.

Don't take yourself
so seriously.

Exercise, take that gorgeous,
sexy body outside and move it.

Here, and open your present.

You gotta lose those
cowboy boots, William.

I worked too hard to get
us out of Texas

for you to go around in
those things.

The night is coming

I hear the way

I feel the crying moment

But oh, baby, it's alright

Please
leave a message after tone.

Hi William, Happy Birthday.

I know your birthday is today
and I have some presents.

Today has been a really
bad day for me.

If you have some time,
maybe you could come by

tonight or tomorrow or...

Hey, yeah, that'd be great.

No, I can come by right
now actually.

Hi.

Hey.

Oh, close your eyes.

I have to finish wrapping.

Can I open my eyes now?

Yeah.

Do you want a beer?

Uh, sure.

You can put on
some music, if you like.

Okay.

How was your day?

Oh, fine.

How was your day?

Crazy.

I've been
ridiculously busy lately.

Yeah?

So, what are these?

Presents.

Okay.

I guess I should open them, huh?

Yeah.

They're for candles.

Cool.

Look at this.

You did this?

Yeah.

Wow!

Why did you give this to me?

I thought you'd like it.

I do.

Good.

It's beautiful.

Do you want to keep seeing me?

I don't think that
now is the right time.

Then, why did you give it to me?

What do you mean?

What am I supposed to do
with it, hang it on my wall?

I don't know, I
thought you just...

You think I want to
hang a picture on my wall

to remind me of a girl who
doesn't want to see me anymore?

Look, I warned you that I
didn't think I could do this.

Yeah.

You also made me promise
to force you to kiss me.

You can't do that.

I came to New York to
be on my own.

Oh, yeah, yeah, I
know the story.

I'm just trying to be honest.

Well, I wish
you'd lie a little it.

Oh, you want me to lie?

No, I want you to fuckin'
appear.

We're apart for four
stupid weeks,

and I come back to this?

Listen, if you really
care about me, you need...

What did I do?

I didn't do anything wrong.

If you really care about
me, you need to take the time

to understand me.

Oh, this is my fault?

It's no one's fault.

Oh, well, that's debatable.

Look, I told you, this was
gonna be really difficult.

Would you shut up with
the corny fuckin' lines?

You don't like me anymore.

I was amusing for a minute,
and now I should go away,

and hang your fucking
picture on the wall!

I mean, what am I
supposed to do here, huh?

You know, I've done
what you're doing.

I've said the shit that
you're saying,

and I know it's a lie.

- It's not a lie.
- It's a fucking lie.

Well, maybe you lie to people,

but I am trying to be honest.

Ugh, would you
please stop saying that?

Say what?

Honest!

Look, you don't love me.

I could be any girl.

I care about you and
you made me very happy,

but I can't hear myself think
when you're in the room.

Everything is a big game
of pretend with you.

Let's pretend to get married,

let's pretend I'm gonna be
a country star,

just pretend you're
someone else, remember?

- No, I...
- No!

Nothing is casual with you.

Everything is a fuckin'
big deal.

No!

No, no, no, no, no!

Only you.

Only you're a big deal. Stop it!

Okay, I'm handling this
pretty badly, aren't I?

Listen, I'm a great guy,
you love me.

Look at me.

Would you please look at me?

I'm right here, look at me.

It's my birthday.

What, what?

Okay, I'll go.

I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry.

I want to make this easy on you.

I don't want to be
pathetic, I really don't.

But do you think you
could lie to me a little?

Or, have me sleep
here next to you,

something just to make
this a little bit easier?

I cannot do that.

Yes, you can.

God!

I feel like you're playing
some sick practical joke on me.

I'm sorry you feel like that.

Would you please talk
to me like a person?

Look, what you're going
through has happened to me

before, and once I got through
it,

I was grateful because
I was so much stronger.

Strong?

I am fucking strong.

Where did you go?

What a fucking bitch.

She didn't seem like
your type anyway.

You think
anybody who isn't like you

isn't my type.

That's not true.

She just seemed a
little crunchy.

I heard she wouldn't fuck you.

That's not true, we had sex.

Yeah, I didn't believe
it when I heard it.

I mean, I couldn't imagine,

you not fucking anybody.

She wouldn't
sleep with me for a while.

Why not?

She have some kinda hang-up?

I think I was there,
but it was hard because,

I mean I was walking and
talking, 'cause,

okay, so here's what happened.

It was on pre-school,
and we went to this park

where I grew up, and I was
wearing this very special vest

that my grandmother had
just made for me.

It had like a little purple
unicorn on the pocket.

It was the very first time
that I wore it.

And my very first memory
is of feeding the ducks

that are in the pond, in
the Woodland Lake Pond

in Kalispell, Montana.

So, this Sarah girl,

she doesn't love you back.

No.

Are you sad?

You are the queen of songs

Whatever.

You are the bird of paradise

Let's go to bed.

I don't have a bed.

Why?

Because I hucked it
out the window.

What?

I didn't like it anymore.

Oh, God!

Do you have any condoms?

Yeah.

Yeah, just give me a
minute, I'll be right back.

With your eyes like pearls

There is a price for mystery

You gotta go.

What are you talking about?

I'm not doing too well,

and I don't think you
want to be here.

Yes, I do.

No.

Look, just go.

I really can't deal
with anybody right now.

I'll call you tomorrow.

Fuck me.

No, just leave me the
fuck alone, okay!

No, leave me the fuck alone.

What light through
yonder window breaks?

It is the east, and
Juliet is the sun!

Arise, fair sun, and
kill the envious moon.

Hello?

Hello?

Be not her maid since
she is envious,

her vestal livery is but
sick and green,

and none but fools do wear it!

Cast it off.

It is my lady, it is my love,

oh, that she knew she were.

Oh, that I were a glove
upon that hand.

That I might touch that cheek.

Oh, speak again, bright angel.

Hey Romeo, shut up, okay?

Hey Sarah, you can't say
I didn't go out with a bang.

You can't say that!

Shut up!

Please leave message after tone.

William, if
you want to talk to me,

this is not how to do it.

I'm scared to leave
my apartment.

Please don't come by anymore.

Hey!

Hey, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to scare you.

I just wanted to say goodbye
with the best words I know.

Yeah, well, goodbye.

Fuck!

Shit.

Fuck!

Come on, William.

William! Come on, come on!

Alright now, the Cowboys
play on Sunday, alright?

I do not want you to miss
it, this is our year.

Don't get sad, okay?

When you're 13, I'll
ask your mother

if you can come live with me.

Come on, come on, you'd
like that, wouldn't you?

Alright now, listen to
me, we love you, okay.

Hey kiddo, I packed a
few snacks in your bag.

I think you're gonna like 'em.

Alright, listen to me now.

Never stray too far from
Texas in your heart.

That was the last time

I ever saw my dad.

I thought about calling
him and telling him

I had never strayed too
far from Texas in my heart,

and what a crock of shit
that advice was.

I'm glad you decided
to show up, William,

but I need you to get
your act together.

Take a shower, change
your clothes.

I'm making an early
Christmas dinner for Harris

and his mom tonight.

Harris and I are going
to Hawaii for Christmas,

so you'll have to get
along without me.

I'm sure you'll miss
me terribly.

Who's Harris?

He's my boyfriend, William.

I told you that.

He's living with you now?

I've told you all this.

Hi it's me, leave a message.

Hey listen, it's me, William.

Are you there?

Are you there?

Okay, sorry for calling.

Just give me a call when
you get a chance.

Merry Christmas.

Hi, it's me, leave a message.

Hey, sorry for leaving
you another message.

I just wanted to tell you
that I know you might not

want to talk to me,
and if that's the case,

don't worry about it.

We'll talk when the
time is right.

All right, see you.

Hi, it's me. Leave a message.

Listen, it's me again.

This is pretty absurd, huh?

I just know that you're
not gonna call me back,

and you should.

I mean, I'd like you to,
that'd be nice.

Not that you give a rat's
ass about being nice,

because I know you don't.

It's just that I went
out with this other girl

a couple of nights ago.

Samantha, remember her?

I mean, I know you don't
like her because

she doesn't spout out a lot
of intellectual bullshit,

but she's real smart.

You shouldn't think that
just because a girl's pretty,

she's not smart, because
that's not the case.

I don't know, it
always seemed to me

like you had a lot of
hang-ups about shit like that.

Maybe it's just that
you try to be, like, all

extra smart because
you're not that pretty.

But you shouldn't do
that because you know,

I think you're pretty.

Not that you're, like,
fantastically interested

in receiving emotional
advice from me or anything,

but Samantha is definitely
an attractive woman,

and she's smart.

And, we had a good time.

It gave me some distance on us,
you know?

It made me miss you less.

Not like I'm some crazy
maniac missing you

or something, so don't get
all freaked out

and call the cops.

Just call me back, okay?

That'd be cool, you know?

I mean, I'm aware I'm
not first on your list

of people to please
right now, but...

Just give me a call.

I really need to talk
to somebody.

You know what I was
thinking the other day?

Remember how you used to
walk on the curb,

and have me walk on the street,

so that we could be
the same height?

Yeah, well, that's
really fucked up.

You shouldn't do that.

I'm taller than you, and
you should just face it.

Yeah, well...

Listen, I don't want to
hang up right now,

because I know as soon as I do,

I'm gonna feel like
a real moron.

So could you just
please call me back?

Otherwise I'll
probably kill myself.

I'm not going to kill myself.

You know, you really have no
sense of humor whatsoever.

That always drove me
crazy about you.

All right.

Call me back, okay?

I'm gonna hang up now.

Bye.

William, you
have to stop calling.

Hey.

I thought you were
probably at your mom's

for Christmas or something.

Christmas is still a week away.

Yeah, yep, hmm, I remember.

I just wanted to call you back,

and tell you I was
sorry for calling.

You sound exhausted.

Why don't you get some rest?

Because I can't sleep.

You know, I've been thinking
about you a lot recently,

more like non-stop.

I appreciate
you thinking about me,

but we shouldn't talk
now, not for a long time.

Yeah, I think you're right.

Or else, maybe I just want
to agree on something.

Let's agree on that, okay?

Goodbye.

All this time,
I thought that secretly,

you were a good person.

But you're not.

And enjoy the
spirit of generosity.

The Peace of the Lord
be with you.

And also be with you.

I'd like to invite
you to open your hearts

and shake hands with
the people around you.

Merry Christmas.

What is it with you?

Oh let's see, I can't sleep.

I go to the bathroom
about 15 times an hour.

I wake up to a voice
inside my head

that calls myself a faggot
with every throbbing

of my pulse.

I haven't seen my father
since I was eight.

And I'm 21 years old now,
and I feel like I should

have my shit together,
but all I feel is

everything coming apart.

And for about three
minutes I believed

in destiny and that, you know,
I had one.

But now, I'm...

I don't know, adrift.

I got no connection to anything.

Not people, not me, not you,
not family,

not the past, not the
future, not anything.

You know?

I keep lookin'

Down the road

Out the window

High and low

The cold risin'

It's halfway gone

Merry Christmas, William.

I love Christmas morning,
don't you?

I mean, I know it's a
pain in the ass

for us to drive around like
this, but your father...

Your Daddy is what people
like to call "a project".

He wants to make me very small,
and fit me in his pocket.

You're sweet.

Merry Christmas, William.

Isn't this fun?

Do you think you're gonna
get a lot of good presents?

I think so.

You know what I want?

I want your daddy to
stop being such a bully.

You don't bully women,
William, it's not nice.

You want to be a cowboy,
you can be a cowboy,

but you be a gentleman cowboy.

Look, you just be
whatever you want.

God damn it.

God damn it.

Hey, no.

Hey, hey!

No, no, hey!

You stay in the car.

You hear me, you stay
in this car.

Now, I told you not to be here!

I told you not...
Don't talk to me!

Hey, hey fuck you!

Leave him alone. Hey buddy.

Merry Christmas, okay?

This is from Santa.

All right. Just, hey!

That's it, okay, goodbye.

Merry Christmas.

Yeah, Merry
Christmas to you too.

Don't it make you want to stay

Sicko.

Buddy, what's going on?

I love that stupid
girl so much, Mom.

I fell in love with your father

because of the way he
told a joke.

That doesn't always work.

My point is, it's all
pretty arbitrary.

Your whole life, people
are going to ask you

to be weak, William,
they'll practically beg you.

But all anybody really
wants from you

is for you to be strong.

Look.

It's a baptism,

by ice.

Is it written

In the stars

Where we've been

And where we are

And where we're going

I don't know

Who's that?

Hello.

Hi, I'm William.

Yeah, William!

Wow.

You're all grown up.

Yeah.

Is my Dad here?

Yeah, come on.

Come on in.

Ah, it's okay, I'll wait here.

You sure?

Okay, one second.

Vincent!

Hey, Vince?

Yeah, what?

What, what is it?

Well...

Hey there, William,
how you doing?

Good.

Well, come on inside.

Can I talk to you for a minute?

Sure, come on in.

No, would you mind stepping
outside for a second?

Uh, sure.

Hey, Thomas, come on, bud.

Let me get my jacket, alright?

You watching the game?

Yeah, yeah.

Cowboys?

Yeah, yeah.

They any good this year?

Um, no.

No, they suck.

I don't really
follow them too much any more.

No?

Well they're kind of,
you know...

Sweetie, Liesel, get out
of here, darling.

Go back to the kitchen.

Thank you.

So listen.

Could I bum one of those?

Yeah.

Remember that time we
were shooting those cans?

No.

Behind the supermarket?

Mm, okay.

Yeah well, you said
that day that,

when I was 13, I could
come live with you.

You said that a bunch of times.

Yeah.

Yeah well, my 13th
birthday's come and gone,

and you never even called me.

In point and fact, I haven't
heard from you at all

in a pretty long time.

I'm sorry.

Well, apology not accepted,
you know what I mean?

Yeah, I know what you mean.

Look William...

It was so hard on you when
you were little

when we would...

You know, and your mother,
she...

Well, you know, and then, I
got remarried and...

Every family...

Can we talk
about something else?

Yeah.

I fell in love with this girl,

but she broke up with me.

Yeah?

She kind of broke my heart,
I think.

That'll happen.

That happen to you?

Sure, sure, I guess.

Did my mom break your heart?

I don't know.

I don't know, that was a
long time ago.

Well, you got over it, huh?

Yes.

Well, good for you.

I just feel like I might
not get over it, you know?

Like maybe I'm too
sensitive or something.

Well, maybe you won't.

You know what I mean?

You'll move on, but, if
it hurt real bad,

then it'll scar, or, like a
bone fracture, or something.

You know, it'll ache
when it rains.

Sounds like some
real deep advice,

coming from a guy who
bailed on his son.

I'm just doing my best here.

Well it's not very good,
your best.

No, no, it's not.

I was in a movie.

I bet you didn't know that.

No, a movie?

Yeah, I'm gonna be a big
fat fuckin' movie star.

And people are gonna ask
you if you're related to me,

and you're gonna have to say,

"Yep, he's my son that
I never see".

Well, that would be great.

Why are you being so...

I don't know.

How do you want me to be?

I don't know.

I wanted you to call me,
that's all.

I'm sorry.

You know, I thought...

I thought it would be
better for you.

God damn, it is bitch cold.

I thought it was supposed
to be hot in Texas.

Yeah, it's the Hottest State.

What?

Fort Worth is the
Hottest State I know.

My dad lives there,
my grandma too,

most every grandparent
except a few.

I like it there.

Boy, is it hot.

What's that?

It's a poem you wrote
when you were a kid.

Oh yeah?

Does that make you feel better
that you remember some poem?

No, it doesn't.

I loved you so much, and then...

Hey, what have I got to
do to get this girl back?

You can't will
anybody to do anything.

What do I have to do?

What was her name?

Sarah.

Did she ever love you?

I don't know.

I think so.

Don't do anything.

Just be cool, you know?

Just wait, she'll call you.

She won't.

Yes, she will.

No, she won't.

Well then, fuck her, you know?

People who give up on
love aren't worth loving.

What's that say about you?

I don't know what it
says about me.

But, seeing you here today

says a hell of a lot about you.

Do you what
to do it the same key?

Sure.

Okay.

Hi.

Hi.

Um, do you want to sit down?

Sure.

We've been
away for a little while,

doing some tour of some
Canadian universities.

And I don't know, I thought
it might be a good idea

if we said, "Hello".

It might be.

How are you?

You know...

Fine.

Good.

How about you?

Like a cat, always nervous.

Don't worry.

I'm not gonna break anything.

No, about performing.

My mom is coming tonight,
and she's so ridiculous.

Sounds like a big night.

Yeah.

I just want to tell you that

the week I spent with you
in Mexico was probably

the best six days of my
whole life, and...

I'm sorry it all didn't
go down the perfect way.

But when I think about the
time we spent together now,

I am grateful,

for what it did for me.

I don't know, I...

I just think that
you're too intense.

You are, I mean, you're
very intense.

You think I'm intense?

Yeah.

Really?

I thought...

I don't know what I
thought, but something bad.

Intense sounds good.

I'm glad it was you.

If somebody's gonna
break your heart,

you want it to be, you know,

somebody like you.

You've always had a
very deluded sense

of how interesting I am.

Yeah, well, I like you.

And I didn't break your heart.

Your heart was broken long
before you ever met me.

Oh, give yourself a
little credit.

Check, check.

Whatever.

How's the movie business?

It's good.

I'm...

Starting a new one this summer.

Oh wow, cool.

Hey Sarah, you want to try one?

Sure.

Are you gonna stick
around for the show?

Yeah sure, I'll be around.

Okay.

My heart is gold.

What will you give me for it?

You watch your footsteps

In a dream

You climb a staircase

And turn a key

And walk in through the

Open door

Where you once lived

Years before

Years before

Then it all goes

Just as fast

Do you speak English?

Yeah.

You reach your hand out

Good, I was
just worried you didn't

understand a word I said.

To touch the past

Touch the past

I remember as a kid,

I used to walk down the
street 20 or so paces behind

my mother, so that people
would think I was an orphan.

I wanted to believe it myself.

Not because I wished my
parents dead or anything.

But more because
orphans were tough.

They could handle anything.

And because I wanted to be
free from this emotional

chain reaction that
seemed to be sparking off

like a string of firecrackers
since the day I was born.

I felt that again, only now
I didn't have to pretend.

It was real.

I was 21, an adult,

and an orphan at last.

So don't you look back

Don't you look back

Don't you look back

Don't you look back

No more

If you don't want to talk now

I won't make a fuss

And everything that we said

It will stay with us

And if you don't wanna see me

You won't lose my trust

And everything that we did

It will stay

It will stay

It will stay with us

There was a time to tell you

Till we turn to dust

Everything that we felt

It will stay

It will stay

It will stay

It will stay

It will stay with us

Till we're down the road

I'll see you again

I don't know when

And I know you'll be the same

And I know I'll be the same

Unchanged

You'll free me again

But I'll never be free

Of memories

And I know your life will change

And I know my life will change

Unchained

Unchained unchained

You'll drift away

Like roses on the sea

Stars up in the sky

Well they're always alone

They're on their own

And I know that they'll
always shine

And I know that they'll
always shine

On time