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1
00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:18,746
* P-R-E-T-E-N-D
T-I-M-E *
2
00:00:18,786 --> 00:00:21,556
* P-R-E-T-E-N-D T-I-M-E.
3
00:00:24,425 --> 00:00:26,655
THIS DOESN'T LOOK RIGHT.
I THINK WE'RE LOST.
4
00:00:26,694 --> 00:00:28,664
WE SHOULD HAVE NEVER
GONE OFF THE TRAIL.
5
00:00:28,696 --> 00:00:30,626
( howling )
6
00:00:30,664 --> 00:00:34,674
- WE'RE GONNA DIE OUT HERE.
- NO, WE'RE GONNA BE OKAY.
7
00:00:34,702 --> 00:00:37,042
- I BROUGHT THIS.
- A VIBRATOR?
8
00:00:37,071 --> 00:00:40,371
- THIS IS TURNING YOU ON?
- IT'S NOT JUST A VIBRATOR.
9
00:00:40,408 --> 00:00:42,108
IT'S A SURVIBRATOR.
10
00:00:42,143 --> 00:00:43,643
Announcer:
SURVIBRATOR, THE WORLD'S
11
00:00:43,677 --> 00:00:45,507
MOST COMPLETE
SURVIVAL VIBRATOR.
12
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:47,216
IF YOU GET LOST
IN THE WOODS,
13
00:00:47,248 --> 00:00:49,178
YOU'LL HAVE
EVERYTHING YOU NEED.
14
00:00:49,217 --> 00:00:51,347
IT'S A NAIL FILE,
15
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:53,215
A SUNDIAL,
16
00:00:53,254 --> 00:00:56,064
A GIANT
BLACK FLASHLIGHT,
17
00:00:56,090 --> 00:00:58,790
A FISHING POLE.
18
00:00:58,826 --> 00:01:01,526
IT'S EVEN A TOOTHBRUSH.
19
00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:05,132
AND PERHAPS MOST IMPORTANTLY,
THE SURVIBRATOR CAN BE USED
20
00:01:05,133 --> 00:01:07,143
- TO FIGHT OFF
DANGEROUS ANIMALS.
- ( howling )
21
00:01:11,739 --> 00:01:14,409
THAT ALL SOUNDS GREAT,
BUT CAN IT STOP ANTS
22
00:01:14,442 --> 00:01:16,212
FROM CRAWLING IN MY ASS
WHILE I'M ASLEEP?
23
00:01:16,244 --> 00:01:17,554
Announcer:
YES, IT CAN.
24
00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:19,648
( Survibrator buzzing )
25
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:23,150
SURVIBRATOR!
DON'T FORGET MOTHER'S DAY.
26
00:01:23,151 --> 00:01:25,151
( rock music playing )
27
00:01:25,153 --> 00:01:27,163
* THIS IS AN EMERGENCY...
28
00:01:27,188 --> 00:01:29,288
HEY, EVERYBODY.
MY FAVORITE THING
ABOUT THE SHOW
29
00:01:29,323 --> 00:01:32,763
MAY BE THE FACT THAT GAY ROBOT
IS BACK ON THE AIR.
30
00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:35,263
WE'VE WORKED TOGETHER
FOR A LONG TIME
31
00:01:35,296 --> 00:01:38,166
AND I HADN'T SEEN HIM
FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS,
SO IT WAS NICE TO SEE HIM.
32
00:01:38,166 --> 00:01:40,366
I WAS LIKE,
"WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO
THE LAST TWO YEARS?"
33
00:01:40,401 --> 00:01:41,801
AND HE WAS LIKE,
34
00:01:41,835 --> 00:01:44,305
( Gay Robot's voice)
"UM, BLOWING DUDES?"
35
00:01:44,338 --> 00:01:47,068
AND I WAS LIKE,
"YEAH, NO, THAT MAKES SENSE.
36
00:01:47,175 --> 00:01:48,675
THAT MAKES SENSE."
37
00:01:50,511 --> 00:01:52,311
( sexy voice )
ALL RIGHT, WE'RE BACK.
38
00:01:52,346 --> 00:01:55,776
SIMION SARAMANDI HERE,
READING ONE MORE LOVE LETTER.
39
00:01:55,816 --> 00:01:59,086
THIS ONE GOES OUT
TO MARIA FROM CARLOS.
40
00:01:59,187 --> 00:02:01,617
HE SAYS, MARIA,
YOUR EYES SPARKLE
41
00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:03,485
LIKE DIAMONDS
IN A SUNSET
42
00:02:03,524 --> 00:02:06,194
AND THAT YOUR SMILE
IS LIKE A WARM BLANKET
43
00:02:06,194 --> 00:02:08,464
ON A COLD NIGHT.
44
00:02:10,431 --> 00:02:12,531
WOW, THAT SOUNDS
REALLY SPECIAL, YOU GUYS.
45
00:02:12,566 --> 00:02:15,736
I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST
ON YOUR LOVE JOURNEY
46
00:02:15,769 --> 00:02:20,239
AND MAY IT BE FILLED
WITH HAPPINESS.
47
00:02:20,274 --> 00:02:22,584
AND WE'RE ABOUT TO GET
INTO OUR LOVERS' FORECAST,
48
00:02:22,610 --> 00:02:24,610
BUT REAL QUICK,
WE GOT A TRAFFIC UPDATE.
49
00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:28,875
THERE'S A PILE-UP ON THE 405
NEAR THE 101 INTERCHANGE.
50
00:02:28,916 --> 00:02:32,216
A SEMI HAS T-BONED
SEVERAL DOZEN CARS,
51
00:02:32,220 --> 00:02:35,560
LEAVING 25 DEAD
AND MANY INJURED.
52
00:02:35,589 --> 00:02:38,289
AMBULANCES ARE TRYING
TO MAKE THEIR WAY THROUGH,
53
00:02:38,326 --> 00:02:40,886
SO TRY TO FIND
AN ALTERNATE ROUTE.
54
00:02:40,928 --> 00:02:45,128
I SUGGEST MAYBE
TAKING HIGHWAY 69,
55
00:02:45,233 --> 00:02:47,443
YOU KNOW
WHAT I'M SAYING?
56
00:02:47,468 --> 00:02:50,398
TRAFFIC GOING
IN BOTH DIRECTIONS
57
00:02:50,438 --> 00:02:52,608
WITH TWO ERECTIONS.
58
00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:56,780
DRIVE ON AND STAY HORNY
IN THOSE CARS.
59
00:02:56,810 --> 00:02:58,580
ALL RIGHT,
HERE'S "CARELESS WHISPER."
60
00:02:58,612 --> 00:03:01,722
HEY, UH, WHAT THE HELL'S
WRONG WITH YOU?
61
00:03:01,749 --> 00:03:05,249
- WHAT? I READ IT.
- YEAH, YOU READ IT
LIKE A SEXY GUY.
62
00:03:05,286 --> 00:03:07,586
UM, THERE'S A LOT
OF DEAD BODIES OUT THERE.
63
00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:10,321
IT'S A PRETTY BAD MESS,
SO COULD YOU TRY
64
00:03:10,358 --> 00:03:12,388
AND READ IT LIKE
A NORMAL HUMAN BEING, PLEASE?
65
00:03:12,426 --> 00:03:14,756
LOOK, MAN, PEOPLE TUNE
INTO MY SHOW BECAUSE
THEY WANT MY VOICE
66
00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:16,355
TO MAKE LOVE
TO THEIR EAR VAGINAS.
67
00:03:16,397 --> 00:03:18,767
WHAT? WHAT DOES
THAT EVEN MEAN?
68
00:03:18,799 --> 00:03:20,669
HERE. IT'S ANOTHER
UPDATE, OKAY?
69
00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:23,601
NOW PLEASE, READ THAT
WITH COMPASSION AND TRY
AND BE PROFESSIONAL.
70
00:03:23,637 --> 00:03:26,337
- TRY.
- THAT'S FOR YOU.
71
00:03:26,374 --> 00:03:29,184
GOD DAMN IT!
72
00:03:29,277 --> 00:03:31,447
- ( soft music playing )
- ALL RIGHT, GUYS,
73
00:03:31,479 --> 00:03:33,309
WE'RE ABOUT TO GET
TO OUR LOVERS' FORECAST,
74
00:03:33,347 --> 00:03:36,177
BUT ONE MORE
TRAFFIC UPDATE.
75
00:03:36,284 --> 00:03:39,524
A HUGE THROBBING PACK
OF RABID COYOTES
76
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:40,953
HAVE COME
OUT OF THE HILLS
77
00:03:40,988 --> 00:03:43,318
AND ARE ATTACKING PEOPLE
IN THEIR CARS
78
00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:45,527
AS WELL AS THE CARCASSES
ON THE ROAD.
79
00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:48,659
CARC-ASSES--
THAT SOUNDS HOT.
80
00:03:48,696 --> 00:03:51,296
SO IF YOU'RE
STUCK ON THE 405
BY THE WRECKAGE,
81
00:03:51,299 --> 00:03:54,639
STAY IN YOUR CAR
AND AVOID BEING MAULED
BY THOSE CRAZY COYOTES.
82
00:03:54,668 --> 00:03:56,968
MAYBE CUDDLE UP WITH A LOVER
AND SAY, "GET AWAY."
83
00:03:57,004 --> 00:03:59,444
DEATH TOLL UP TO 30.
SOUNDS HORNY.
84
00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:01,483
THAT'S NOT
WHAT I MEANT.
85
00:04:01,509 --> 00:04:04,309
WHAT? YOU SAID READ IT
WITH MORE PASSION.
86
00:04:04,312 --> 00:04:07,452
NO, I SAID
"COM-PASSION.
COMPASSION."
87
00:04:07,481 --> 00:04:09,721
I LOVE COME AND PASSION.
88
00:04:15,323 --> 00:04:17,933
- ( light orchestral
music playing )
- WHAT'S FOR BREAKFAST, MOM?
89
00:04:17,958 --> 00:04:21,328
- I'VE GOT YOUR FAVORITE.
- Kids: CREEPIOS!
90
00:04:24,632 --> 00:04:26,472
YOU WANNA SEE
SOMETHING CREEPY?
91
00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:29,400
Kids:
SURE, MR. CREEPY.
92
00:04:29,437 --> 00:04:32,337
( guffawing )
93
00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:38,549
WAIT!
DON'T FLUSH.
94
00:04:38,579 --> 00:04:40,549
MR. CREEPY, DON'T HANG OUT
IN THE TOILET.
95
00:04:40,581 --> 00:04:42,851
BUT I'M THE CREEPIEST.
96
00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:44,423
( laughing )
97
00:04:46,754 --> 00:04:49,364
HELLO, RACHEL.
HA HA!
98
00:04:49,390 --> 00:04:52,460
MR. CREEPY, BREAKFAST WAS
FOUR HOURS AGO.
99
00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:55,633
- BUT I'M STILL CREEPY.
- I GUESS.
100
00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:56,833
WAIT.
101
00:04:56,864 --> 00:04:59,634
RACHEL. RACHEL.
102
00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:01,637
YOU GUYS WANT CEREAL
AS A SNACK?
103
00:05:01,669 --> 00:05:03,669
Kids:
YEAH, FRUITY BIRD.
104
00:05:05,373 --> 00:05:08,713
HOW COULD YOU
DO THAT TO ME?
105
00:05:08,742 --> 00:05:11,582
- FRUITY FOOO, FRUITY FOOO.
- ( kids laughing )
106
00:05:11,612 --> 00:05:14,582
( panicked )
FRUITY FOOO, FRUITY FOOO,
FRUITY FOOO!
107
00:05:18,952 --> 00:05:20,992
- FRUITY FOOO.
FRUITY-- AHH!
- ( spine snaps )
108
00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:27,902
OH NO.
MR. CREEPY...
109
00:05:29,630 --> 00:05:32,930
- CREEPIOS IS THE BEST.
- SHAME ON YOU, MR. CREEPY.
110
00:05:34,968 --> 00:05:37,768
( whispering )
I THOUGHT YOU LIKED
MR. CREEPY.
111
00:05:37,805 --> 00:05:40,065
WELL, WE DO, BUT WE LIKE
OTHER CEREALS TOO.
112
00:05:40,107 --> 00:05:43,637
DON'T BE SO AGGRESSIVE.
THAT'S TOO CREEPY.
113
00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:47,777
I GUESS I'LL JUST
STOP BEING CREEPY.
114
00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:58,860
I MISS MR. CREEPY.
115
00:05:58,892 --> 00:06:00,962
ME TOO.
116
00:06:02,430 --> 00:06:03,760
COME ON, KIDS.
READY TO GO?
117
00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:07,027
- YEAH.
- I GUESS SO.
118
00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:09,597
WAIT, GUYS.
DON'T FORGET YOUR BOOKS!
119
00:06:09,637 --> 00:06:10,767
( laughing )
120
00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:13,074
Both:
MR. CREEPY!
121
00:06:13,106 --> 00:06:15,876
( laughing )
122
00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:20,509
- HEY, I'M BACK.
- Kids: YAY!
123
00:06:20,548 --> 00:06:23,878
HEY, DO YOU GUYS WANT
SOME MORE CREEPIOS?
124
00:06:23,917 --> 00:06:26,617
Kids:
YEAH! YAY!
125
00:06:26,654 --> 00:06:28,494
- YAY.
- YAY!
126
00:06:28,522 --> 00:06:31,492
THERE YA GO--
BREAKFAST.
127
00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:35,355
YEAH, SO GOOD.
128
00:06:35,463 --> 00:06:37,633
( kids cheering )
129
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:51,309
DUDE, I LOVE HANGING OUT
AT THE WATER COOLER
130
00:06:51,344 --> 00:06:52,954
AND TALKING ABOUT STUFF
I'VE SEEN ON T.V.
131
00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:54,380
ME TOO.
132
00:06:54,482 --> 00:06:56,022
HAVE YOU SEEN
"THE AMAZING RACE"?
133
00:06:56,049 --> 00:06:57,589
YEAH, IT'S AWFUL.
134
00:06:57,618 --> 00:06:58,748
I THINK
IT'S KIND OF GOOD.
135
00:06:58,786 --> 00:06:59,986
YOU WOULD.
YOU'RE AWFUL.
136
00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:04,555
WHOA! WHERE DID
THAT GUY COME FROM?
137
00:07:04,592 --> 00:07:06,492
OH, HE SMELLS HORRIBLE.
138
00:07:06,494 --> 00:07:08,164
OH, HE CRAPPED HIS PANTS!
139
00:07:08,195 --> 00:07:10,155
AW, THAT IS NASTY.
140
00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:11,697
WHAT YEAR IS THIS?
141
00:07:11,732 --> 00:07:13,532
- 2010.
- IT WORKED.
142
00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:16,637
THE TIME MACHINE WORKED.
143
00:07:16,670 --> 00:07:17,840
TIME MACHINE?
144
00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:19,141
WHAT ARE YOU,
FROM THE FUTURE?
145
00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:21,882
YES. I'M FROM
THE YEAR 2041.
146
00:07:21,909 --> 00:07:23,079
THE EARTH IS GONNA
BE DESTROYED,
147
00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:24,750
BUT YOU STILL HAVE
TIME TO PREVENT IT.
148
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:26,678
NOW I'M SURE YOU HAVE
MANY QUESTIONS FOR ME.
149
00:07:26,714 --> 00:07:29,124
YEAH, DOES EVERYONE
IN THE FUTURE CRAP
THEIR PANTS, MAN?
150
00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:30,979
NO.
151
00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:33,718
- SO WE STILL
HAVE BATHROOMS?
- YEAH, WE DO.
152
00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:35,424
- OH GREAT.
- COOL.
153
00:07:35,523 --> 00:07:37,693
UH, ANOTHER QUESTION:
SO THE FOOD IN THE FUTURE
154
00:07:37,725 --> 00:07:40,725
IS, LIKE,
BABY DIAPER TACOS
155
00:07:40,761 --> 00:07:42,531
FILLED WITH, LIKE,
GOAT BALLS OR WHAT?
156
00:07:42,563 --> 00:07:44,063
YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT SEEMS LIKE I'VE HAD
157
00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:45,797
AN ACCIDENT TRAVELING
THROUGH TIME,
158
00:07:45,833 --> 00:07:47,773
SO I COULD WARN YOU
ABOUT THE END OF THE WORLD.
159
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,571
NEXT TIME YOU SHOULD
WEAR A DIAPER.
160
00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:52,543
OKAY, I THINK
THIS IS A SIDE EFFECT
FROM TIME TRAVEL, OKAY?
161
00:07:52,573 --> 00:07:55,143
CAN WE JUST PLEASE
TRY TO GET PAST THE FACT
THAT I CRAPPED MYSELF?
162
00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:57,775
- I'LL TRY,
BUT YOU REALLY SMELL.
- UH, YEAH RIGHT.
163
00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,711
LIKE YOU DIDN'T DO THAT
AT THE HOLIDAY PARTY.
164
00:07:59,747 --> 00:08:03,017
THIS GUY-- BOOZY
IN THE MUDSLIDE JUNCTION.
165
00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:05,120
( blows raspberry )
JUST A MUD WATERFALL.
166
00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:06,692
- YOU DID, MAN.
- I WAS DRUNK, NICK.
167
00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:09,190
I WAS DRUNK.
YOU'RE NOT DRUNK.
168
00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:11,192
- RIGHT?
- NO, I'M NOT.
169
00:08:11,224 --> 00:08:13,594
- HE'S SOBER.
- SO WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE,
GOOKY GUY?
170
00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:15,097
ALL RIGHT, WILL BOTH
OF YOU SHUT UP
171
00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:17,098
SO I CAN EXPLAIN TO YOU
HOW TO SAVE THE PLANET?
172
00:08:17,130 --> 00:08:18,930
HEY, MAN,
DON'T BE RUDE.
173
00:08:18,966 --> 00:08:21,796
YOU LANDED IN OUR
OFFICE FROM THE FUTURE
WITH YOUR PANTS SOILED
174
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:24,135
AND YOU RUINED
THAT'S-WHAT-SHE-SAID
THURSDAYS.
175
00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:26,611
LOOK, I'M SORRY
I YELLED, OKAY?
176
00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:28,980
BUT CAN WE PLEASE
GET PAST THE FACT
THAT I CRAPPED MYSELF?
177
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:32,709
ALL RIGHT, FINE.
WE'LL GET PAST IT.
178
00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:34,576
HOW DO YOU SAVE
THE EARTH, FUTURE GUY?
179
00:08:34,582 --> 00:08:37,692
OKAY, GREAT.
THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT.
180
00:08:37,718 --> 00:08:39,748
NOW CONTACT THE LEADERS
OF THE FREE WORLD--
181
00:08:39,787 --> 00:08:41,657
- "DON'T -- YOUR PANTS."
- ( zaps )
182
00:08:41,689 --> 00:08:43,419
UH! OH...
183
00:08:43,456 --> 00:08:45,686
OH GREAT,
ANOTHER DOO-DOO BOY.
184
00:08:45,726 --> 00:08:48,456
- WHAT YEAR IS IT?
- 2010, STINKY.
185
00:08:48,495 --> 00:08:49,795
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
186
00:08:49,830 --> 00:08:51,730
HEY, WAIT.
( sniffs )
187
00:08:51,765 --> 00:08:53,065
THIS GUY DIDN'T
CRAP HIS PANTS.
188
00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:54,600
- IT'S FRESH.
- HEY.
189
00:08:54,602 --> 00:08:56,842
HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THAT,
DOO-DOO BOY?
190
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:59,440
THEY MUST HAVE
MADE ADJUSTMENTS TO
THE NEW TIME MACHINES.
191
00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:01,012
YEAH, THEY DID.
THEY TOOK THE, UH,
192
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:03,781
DON'T-CRAP-YOUR-PANTS SWITCH
AND THEY FLIPPED IT ON.
193
00:09:03,811 --> 00:09:05,251
DO NOT DO IT.
194
00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:06,748
HE BURNED YOU,
DOO-DOO BOY.
195
00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:08,520
HEY, QUIT CALLING ME
DOO-DOO BOY
196
00:09:08,616 --> 00:09:10,116
OR I'M NOT GONNA TELL YOU
HOW TO SAVE THE PLANET.
197
00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:11,620
UH, WE DON'T
NEED YOU ANYMORE.
198
00:09:11,619 --> 00:09:12,889
WE HAVE ANOTHER
FRESH FUTURE GUY
199
00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:14,250
THAT DOESN'T REEK
OF THE POOPIES.
200
00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:15,817
( guys laugh )
201
00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:17,856
I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT SAVING THE PLANET.
202
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:20,731
I JUST CAME BACK TO BET
ON SPORTING EVENTS.
203
00:09:20,761 --> 00:09:24,001
- I'M GONNA GO WITH THIS GUY.
- DUDE, HOOK IT UP, MAN.
204
00:09:24,031 --> 00:09:26,901
- YEAH? YOU WANNA BE
HOOKED UP, HUH?
- YES, PLEASE.
205
00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:30,144
- YOU WANT SOME
FUTURE KNOWLEDGE, HUH?
- YEAH, DUDE!
206
00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:32,940
HEY, IN THE FUTURE
ALL THE WORLD LEADERS
207
00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:35,943
AND ALL THE COOL PEOPLE
-- THEIR PANTS.
208
00:09:35,976 --> 00:09:38,546
- THAT'S NOT TRUE.
- ( imitates buzzer )
209
00:09:38,646 --> 00:09:40,176
- WRONG.
- NICE TRY, MAN.
210
00:09:40,213 --> 00:09:42,823
YOU MAKE US FUTURE GUYS
LOOK BAD, MAN.
211
00:09:42,850 --> 00:09:45,720
- RIGHT?
- OKAY?
212
00:09:45,753 --> 00:09:47,053
BRENDA, YOU WANNA
CHANGE HIM?
213
00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:49,287
IN HINDSIGHT,
IT WAS A MISTAKE
214
00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:51,562
TO HAVE
THE SPACE BURRITOS.
215
00:09:51,659 --> 00:09:53,059
I'M SORRY.
216
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:55,663
( lisping )
SO WHAT DO YOU THINK,
PROFESSOR?
217
00:09:55,663 --> 00:09:58,133
WELL, IT'S, UH--
YOU KNOW, IT'S CERTAINLY
218
00:09:58,165 --> 00:09:59,695
AN INTERESTING IDEA,
GAY ROBOT,
219
00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:02,903
BUT I DON'T THINK
YOU NEED PUBIC HAIR.
220
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:04,836
I SAW THEM IN A MOVIE
AND THEY LOOKED COOL.
221
00:10:04,872 --> 00:10:06,312
( chuckles )
222
00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:08,339
AH, PUBES.
223
00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:10,875
OH, I HAVE A NEW TUTORING
ASSIGNMENT FOR YOU.
224
00:10:10,911 --> 00:10:12,911
- HE'S OVER
AT ALPHA TAU KAPPA.
- ( gasps )
225
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,716
HIS NAME
IS MARTY DONOVAN.
226
00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:16,618
FORIZZEAL?
I MET HIM EARLIER.
227
00:10:16,650 --> 00:10:18,020
WE WERE WIZATCHING
FAZOOTBALL.
228
00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:19,851
GAY ROBOT,
WHAT DID I TELL YOU
229
00:10:19,887 --> 00:10:21,657
ABOUT ADDING Zs
TO WORDS?
230
00:10:21,689 --> 00:10:24,089
I'M SORRY.
BLAME SNOOP.
HE STARTED IT.
231
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:26,964
- YEAH, WELL, THAT DOESN'T MEAN
THAT YOU HAVE TO DO IT, OKAY?
- OKAY.
232
00:10:26,994 --> 00:10:28,764
NOW LOOK, MARTY NEEDS
HELP IN PHYSICS
233
00:10:28,796 --> 00:10:30,726
AND I THOUGHT YOU'D BE
A PERFECT TUTOR FOR HIM.
234
00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:33,004
YEAH, HIS EYES ARE LIKE
BROWN DIAMONDS.
235
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:34,603
EXCUSE ME?
236
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:37,004
I MEAN, HE SMELLS LIKE
A LAVENDER SCROTUM.
237
00:10:37,037 --> 00:10:38,207
JESUS, GAY ROBOT.
238
00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:40,138
LOOK, I TOLD YOU
100 TIMES,
239
00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:42,643
PLEASE DON'T FALL IN LOVE
WITH MY STUDENTS, OKAY?
240
00:10:42,676 --> 00:10:44,536
I WOULD NEVER DO THAT.
241
00:10:44,577 --> 00:10:46,807
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I THINK YOU DID.
242
00:10:46,847 --> 00:10:49,547
WHAT ABOUT THE TIME
YOU ASKED BORIS FROM
THE WRESTLING TEAM
243
00:10:49,582 --> 00:10:51,652
IF HE WANTED TO WRESTLE
HIS BALLS INTO YOUR MOUTH?
244
00:10:51,685 --> 00:10:53,585
UM, I DON'T
REMEMBER THAT.
245
00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:55,690
WELL, I DO
AND SO DOES BORIS.
246
00:10:55,723 --> 00:10:57,863
WE CAN CALL HIM IF THAT'S
GONNA REFRESH YOUR MEMORY.
247
00:10:57,891 --> 00:10:59,931
- NO. OKAY,
ALL RIGHT, I REMEMBER.
- I KNOW YOU DO.
248
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:03,330
LOOK, IT'S JUST I GET LONELY
AND I WANT A BOYFRIEND.
249
00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:06,133
I KNOW, GAY ROBOT.
I-- I GET LONELY TOO
SOMETIMES.
250
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,766
YOU DO?
251
00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:09,801
YEAH. WHY DO YOU THINK
I BUILT A ROBOT?
252
00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:12,937
YEAH.
PASS THE TISSUES,
WE ALL GOT ISSUES.
253
00:11:12,973 --> 00:11:15,143
- ( both laugh )
- WELL, BE PATIENT, GAY ROBOT.
254
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:17,205
YOU'LL MEET A LUCKY FELLOW
SOMEDAY, I PROMISE.
255
00:11:17,244 --> 00:11:19,914
OKAY, WORD UP:
PEACE IN THE MIDDLE EAST.
256
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:24,321
( rock music ends )
257
00:11:24,351 --> 00:11:25,921
ALL RIGHT,
AND WE'RE BACK.
258
00:11:25,953 --> 00:11:28,223
AND ENOUGH OF THIS
BUMMER TRAFFIC STUFF.
259
00:11:28,255 --> 00:11:30,855
LET'S GO TO
THE PHONE LINES.
260
00:11:30,891 --> 00:11:33,661
- WE GOT A CALLER.
YOU'RE ON THE AIR.
- ( button clicks )
261
00:11:33,761 --> 00:11:35,931
Man:
Yeah, hi, Simion.
I took Highway 69.
262
00:11:35,963 --> 00:11:38,773
- There's a lot of other
people out here too.
- ( sirens blaring )
263
00:11:38,766 --> 00:11:40,666
- I LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT.
- Uh, no.
264
00:11:40,768 --> 00:11:44,138
It ends in a cliff
and people are driving
over the end
265
00:11:44,171 --> 00:11:45,771
and they're--
they're falling.
266
00:11:45,773 --> 00:11:47,173
And now the people
who've crashed
267
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:48,937
are being attacked
by mountain lions.
268
00:11:48,976 --> 00:11:50,236
- ( man screams )
- ALL RIGHT.
269
00:11:50,277 --> 00:11:51,977
ARE YOU GOING HOME
TO A LOVER TONIGHT?
270
00:11:52,012 --> 00:11:53,782
Uh, no, Simion.
I'm really not in the mood.
271
00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:56,884
I just saw a woman get
dragged away by her scalp.
272
00:11:56,917 --> 00:11:59,047
OH COME ON, MAN.
EVERYONE'S IN THE MOOD.
273
00:11:59,086 --> 00:12:01,346
- ( no audible dialogue )
- There's bodies everywhere!
274
00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:03,988
- OH, ARE THEY NUDE?
- ( lion roars )
275
00:12:04,024 --> 00:12:07,034
Oh my-- it's a --
mountain lion!
Get off me!
276
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:10,360
NO, I THINK YOU MEAN,
"HEY, LION, WHY DON'T
YOU MOUNT ME?"
277
00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:13,797
- No, that's not
what I mean! Ahh!
- ( lion roars )
278
00:12:13,834 --> 00:12:16,944
- ( people screaming )
- Oh my God, the beasts
have my wife!
279
00:12:16,970 --> 00:12:18,440
OOH, YOU HEAR THAT,
LADIES?
280
00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:20,271
THAT'S A LOT OF GROWL,
IT LOOKS LIKE.
281
00:12:20,307 --> 00:12:23,807
KAREN WANTS SOME MAKEUP SEX
AND SHE IS NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT.
282
00:12:23,811 --> 00:12:25,981
- ( lion growls )
- SIGN UP FOR THAT, PEOPLE.
283
00:12:26,013 --> 00:12:28,223
- THAT'S WHAT
I'M TALKING ABOUT.
- ( woman screaming )
284
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:31,078
KAREN, YOU'RE A FREAKY
MOTHER--.
285
00:12:31,118 --> 00:12:32,818
She's gone!
286
00:12:32,820 --> 00:12:34,820
Karen! She's gone!
287
00:12:34,822 --> 00:12:36,922
- No--
- NOW THAT'S WHAT
I LIKE TO HEAR.
288
00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:38,827
WE GOT A SONG
GOING OUT TO KAREN.
289
00:12:38,859 --> 00:12:41,689
"SHE'S GONE"
BY HALL & OATES.
290
00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:54,109
AND WE'RE BACK NOW
WITH GREG HAMPTON.
291
00:12:54,141 --> 00:12:56,411
AT 65 YEARS OLD,
MR. HAMPTON NAVIGATED
292
00:12:56,443 --> 00:13:00,083
A RUNAWAY TRAIN TO SAFETY
IN THE APPALACHIAN MOUNTAINS,
293
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:01,953
SAVING OVER 200 LIVES.
294
00:13:01,982 --> 00:13:05,092
MR. HAMPTON, DID YOUR LIFE
FLASH BEFORE YOUR EYES AT ALL?
295
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:07,248
I MEAN, THIS REALLY
COULD'VE BEEN THE END.
296
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:08,957
DID YOU FREAK OUT?
297
00:13:08,989 --> 00:13:11,489
Uh, not really.
I focused on the task at hand.
298
00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:12,994
There was no time
to freak out.
299
00:13:13,026 --> 00:13:15,056
But I was concerned
about my wife.
300
00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:17,695
- I-- I thought
of her for sure.
- Well, of course.
301
00:13:17,730 --> 00:13:20,870
AND SPEAKING OF THAT,
WE HAVE YOUR WIFE HERE
VIA SATELLITE.
302
00:13:20,868 --> 00:13:23,098
Mrs. Hampton, what went
through your head
303
00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:25,766
when you heard that Greg
was trying to take control
304
00:13:25,873 --> 00:13:27,313
of a runaway train?
305
00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:31,010
Oh gosh.
Uh, just pure terror.
306
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:32,784
I WAS IN BED
307
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:35,350
AND I ANSWERED THE PHONE
AND I FROZE.
308
00:13:35,382 --> 00:13:37,122
WERE YOU ALONE?
309
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:39,250
NO, I HAD
A FEW PEOPLE OVER.
310
00:13:39,286 --> 00:13:41,416
AND DID YOU TELL THEM
THE SITUATION?
311
00:13:41,454 --> 00:13:45,034
NO, BUT THEY COULD TELL
THAT SOMETHING SERIOUS
312
00:13:45,058 --> 00:13:46,888
WAS GOING ON.
313
00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:50,357
My swinger group
quietly uncuffed
each other
314
00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:55,237
and untied their ball gags
and gave me my privacy.
315
00:13:55,268 --> 00:13:57,908
They could tell
it was an intense time.
316
00:13:57,905 --> 00:13:59,735
I'm sorry,
w-- what was that?
317
00:13:59,772 --> 00:14:01,912
WHEN I SWITCHED OFF
MY VIBRATOR,
318
00:14:01,909 --> 00:14:05,109
THAT'S WHEN EVERYONE KNEW
THAT SOMETHING WAS
REALLY WRONG.
319
00:14:05,145 --> 00:14:08,375
NO ONE INTERRUPTS AN ORGY
BEFORE EVERYONE HAS REACHED
THEIR CLIMAX.
320
00:14:08,415 --> 00:14:10,915
Yeah, it was
the hardest phone call
321
00:14:10,918 --> 00:14:11,988
I've ever had to make.
322
00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:13,919
My wife is so sensitive.
323
00:14:13,921 --> 00:14:16,761
I knew she'd have trouble
dealing with that news.
324
00:14:16,789 --> 00:14:19,989
And something horrific
was about to happen.
325
00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:22,057
I was in a frenzy.
326
00:14:22,095 --> 00:14:24,495
I GOT UP TO GET MY ROBE
AND I SLIPPED
327
00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:26,501
ON A PUDDLE OF LUBE
ON THE FLOOR
328
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,803
AND SMACKED MY HEAD
ON THE FISTING ROBOT.
329
00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:32,105
- I WAS OUT COLD.
- THE FISTING ROBOT?
330
00:14:32,139 --> 00:14:34,039
I heard the fall
and I was really worried,
331
00:14:34,074 --> 00:14:36,144
so I called the police
and I made sure
332
00:14:36,176 --> 00:14:37,806
they got over there
immediately.
333
00:14:37,844 --> 00:14:39,054
Which they did
in record time.
334
00:14:39,079 --> 00:14:41,049
They got me up,
back in bed.
335
00:14:41,081 --> 00:14:42,951
And they could tell
that I was upset,
336
00:14:42,950 --> 00:14:45,420
so they used
the rest of the lube
to massage my body.
337
00:14:45,452 --> 00:14:48,122
Those men are
the real heroes.
338
00:14:48,155 --> 00:14:51,155
OKAY, I'M-- I CAN'T BE
HEARING THIS CORRECTLY.
339
00:14:51,191 --> 00:14:53,091
MR. HAMPTON, YOU'RE OKAY
WITH ALL OF THIS?
340
00:14:53,126 --> 00:14:56,826
I MEAN, WELL, DEALING
WITH A RUNAWAY TRAIN
IS NEVER EASY.
341
00:14:56,863 --> 00:15:00,103
I-- I WASN'T
REFERRING TO--
342
00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:02,403
LOOK, I WAS JUST GLAD
THAT MY HUSBAND WAS OKAY.
343
00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:05,305
- THAT'S THE MAIN THING.
- RIGHT RIGHT, SURE SURE.
344
00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:07,308
WERE YOU ABLE TO SEE
YOUR HUSBAND RIGHT AWAY?
345
00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:09,440
June:
NO, WHICH WAS HARD.
346
00:15:09,476 --> 00:15:13,206
But luckily I had taken
a violent amount of ecstasy
347
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:16,576
and the trannies
had finished building
our leather swing set.
348
00:15:16,616 --> 00:15:18,486
Okay. Uh, well,
thank you
349
00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:20,118
for your time,
Mrs. Hampton.
350
00:15:20,153 --> 00:15:23,293
IT SOUNDS LIKE
IT WAS A... REAL ORDEAL.
351
00:15:23,323 --> 00:15:24,993
IT WAS.
352
00:15:24,992 --> 00:15:27,132
BUT IT ALL TURNED OUT OKAY.
353
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:28,860
I LOVE YOU, GREG.
354
00:15:28,895 --> 00:15:30,825
- I love you too, honey.
- June: BYE.
355
00:15:30,863 --> 00:15:32,173
OH GREAT,
THERE THEY ARE.
356
00:15:32,199 --> 00:15:33,999
Greg:
Ah, fistbot.
357
00:15:34,001 --> 00:15:35,141
I miss you, bud.
358
00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:37,238
Salt of the earth,
that woman.
359
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:40,110
- I-- I couldn't
imagine losing her.
- YEAH, SHE'S A KEEPER.
360
00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:42,540
Greg:
I can't wait to get
on that leather swing set.
361
00:15:50,017 --> 00:15:51,317
OKAY.
362
00:15:51,351 --> 00:15:52,921
NOW HE JUST WOKE UP
FROM HIS COMA,
363
00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:54,550
SO HE MIGHT BE
A LITTLE GROGGY.
364
00:15:54,587 --> 00:15:56,617
- OKAY.
- I'LL GIVE YOU TWO
A MOMENT.
365
00:15:56,656 --> 00:15:57,886
- THANK YOU.
- ALL RIGHT.
366
00:15:57,924 --> 00:16:00,334
HEY, BUDDY.
HOW ARE YOU FEELING?
367
00:16:02,029 --> 00:16:05,299
( Eastern European accent )
I FEEL VERY NICE.
368
00:16:05,332 --> 00:16:07,102
( heart monitor beeping )
369
00:16:07,134 --> 00:16:09,104
WOW WOW WHEE WHOA.
370
00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:12,413
HEY.
371
00:16:12,439 --> 00:16:14,369
MY WIFE.
372
00:16:14,407 --> 00:16:16,637
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.
IT'S A MIRACLE.
373
00:16:16,676 --> 00:16:20,046
NICK, YOU POOR THING.
374
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:23,620
WE MAKE SEXY TIME
IN YOUR VAJIN?
375
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:26,090
WHY IS HE DOING
A BORAT VOICE?
376
00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:28,189
I DON'T KNOW.
377
00:16:28,221 --> 00:16:30,321
WAIT A MINUTE,
THE-- THE LAST THING
THAT HAPPENED
378
00:16:30,357 --> 00:16:32,587
BEFORE THE ACCIDENT
WAS THAT WE SAW "BORAT,"
379
00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:34,455
BUT THAT WAS, LIKE,
FOUR YEARS AGO.
380
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:37,564
THE NURSE'S VAJIN
LOOK LIKE SLEEPY LIZARD.
381
00:16:37,597 --> 00:16:40,067
MY COUSIN BILO,
HE GET THIS.
382
00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:42,500
SO HOW LONG
WILL HE TALK LIKE THIS?
383
00:16:42,535 --> 00:16:45,065
I DON'T KNOW.
384
00:16:45,072 --> 00:16:46,372
PERHAPS I CAN HELP.
385
00:16:46,406 --> 00:16:48,106
I'VE SEEN
THIS PHENOMENON BEFORE.
386
00:16:48,141 --> 00:16:49,541
I'M DOCTOR PHELPS.
387
00:16:49,576 --> 00:16:51,536
HE HAS CHOCOLATE FACE!
388
00:16:51,578 --> 00:16:53,478
YES, I DO, BORAT.
389
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,623
UH, CAN I SPEAK WITH YOU
OVER HERE FOR A SECOND?
390
00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:58,118
Woman over P.A.:
Dr. Forrest, dial 118,
please.
391
00:16:58,151 --> 00:16:59,991
THAT WAS THE LAST THING
THAT WAS ON HIS MIND.
392
00:17:00,087 --> 00:17:01,587
WHEN WE ALL SAW
THE MOVIE "BORAT,"
393
00:17:01,621 --> 00:17:03,421
WE HAD A CHANCE
TO PLAY AROUND WITH
THE PHRASES
394
00:17:03,456 --> 00:17:04,556
AND GET THEM
OUT OF OUR SYSTEM.
395
00:17:04,591 --> 00:17:05,561
NICK NEVER GOT THAT.
396
00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:07,432
OH, SAD.
397
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:09,330
I SEE YOU, GYPSY.
398
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,262
YES, GYPSY.
399
00:17:11,298 --> 00:17:13,268
DOES THIS HAPPEN
TO PEOPLE OFTEN?
400
00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:15,140
WELL, LET ME SHOW YOU
OUR NEW WING.
401
00:17:17,237 --> 00:17:19,337
Dr. Phelps:
AS YOU'LL SEE,
ALL THE PEOPLE HERE
402
00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:21,142
ARE RECOVERING FROM COMAS
THEY SLIPPED INTO
403
00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:24,244
IMMEDIATELY AFTER SEEING
ICONIC HOLLYWOOD MOVIES.
404
00:17:24,277 --> 00:17:26,007
( British accent )
YEAH, BABY!
405
00:17:26,113 --> 00:17:27,583
DO I MAKE YOU HORNY?
406
00:17:27,614 --> 00:17:29,624
OH, BEHAVE.
407
00:17:29,649 --> 00:17:31,179
OH, HE'S DOING
AUSTIN POWERS.
408
00:17:31,218 --> 00:17:33,988
TINA, EAT YOUR FOOD.
GOD.
409
00:17:34,020 --> 00:17:37,020
- THAT'S NAPOLEON DYNAMITE.
- HE SAW A DOUBLE FEATURE.
410
00:17:38,225 --> 00:17:41,155
"LIFE IS LIKE A BOX
OF CHOCOLATES,"
411
00:17:41,194 --> 00:17:43,204
MAMA ALWAYS SAID.
412
00:17:43,230 --> 00:17:45,570
FORREST GUMP?
THAT WAS YEARS AGO.
413
00:17:45,598 --> 00:17:48,598
SO WE'LL MOVE NICK
OUT HERE FOR A WHILE.
414
00:17:48,635 --> 00:17:50,335
WE'LL GIVE HIM
REGULAR SPEECH CLASSES
415
00:17:50,370 --> 00:17:52,970
AND EASE HIM OUT
OF THAT BORAT PERSONA.
416
00:17:53,005 --> 00:17:55,535
THANKS FOR EVERYTHING.
417
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:58,145
- THE DOCTOR'S
SENDING ME HOME.
- CONGRATS, TIM.
418
00:17:58,178 --> 00:18:01,248
( deep voice )
YOU STAY CLASSY, SAN DIEGO.
419
00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:04,381
I MEAN, UH,
TAKE CARE, GUYS.
420
00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:07,347
EVERYTHING'S
GONNA BE OKAY.
421
00:18:07,387 --> 00:18:09,357
DO THEY HAVE, UM,
LIKE ACTIVITIES?
422
00:18:09,389 --> 00:18:10,519
LIKE A REC ROOM?
423
00:18:10,557 --> 00:18:12,287
SURE.
THEY DO, UPSTAIRS.
424
00:18:12,325 --> 00:18:14,155
- CAN THEY DO
ARTS AND CRAFTS?
- OF COURSE.
425
00:18:14,161 --> 00:18:15,661
NICK.
426
00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:17,555
I MAKE-A TOILET.
427
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,327
OH NO, NICK.
428
00:18:19,366 --> 00:18:20,696
YOU WILL NEVER GET THIS.
429
00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:23,303
COME GET THIS, GYPSY!
430
00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:25,336
NICK! NICK!
431
00:18:25,372 --> 00:18:27,072
Man:
I'M READY!
432
00:18:27,174 --> 00:18:30,184
I'M READY!
433
00:18:30,177 --> 00:18:32,177
I'M READY!
434
00:18:34,046 --> 00:18:36,076
Man #2:
OH, BEHAVE!
435
00:18:38,685 --> 00:18:41,185
I'M JUST SAYING
I THINK I'M OWED.
436
00:18:41,188 --> 00:18:43,018
WHAT-- WHAT ARE YOU
TRYING TO SAY?
437
00:18:43,055 --> 00:18:45,585
I'VE BEEN WITH THE COMPANY
FOR SIX YEARS.
438
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:48,595
BORING.
GET BACK TO WORK.
439
00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:51,429
Announcer:
HOW MANY TIMES HAS THIS
440
00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:52,774
HAPPENED TO YOU,
WHITE PEOPLE?
441
00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:54,399
YOU CAN'T SAY
WHAT YOU MEAN
442
00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:56,244
AND YOU CAN'T
CONFRONT AUTHORITY.
443
00:18:56,269 --> 00:18:57,769
WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE
YOU NEED...
444
00:18:57,804 --> 00:19:00,814
UH! A DEONTAY
IN YO LIFE!
445
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:03,110
SIX -- YEARS!
446
00:19:03,210 --> 00:19:05,710
YOU BEEN PIMPIN' THIS
NERDY SWEET WHITE BOY
FOR SIX YEARS.
447
00:19:05,745 --> 00:19:08,215
YOU BETTER RECOGNIZE.
448
00:19:09,882 --> 00:19:12,222
SEE, THAT'S THE THING
ABOUT CERTAIN WHITE PEOPLE--
449
00:19:12,252 --> 00:19:14,852
THEY WORK HARD, BUT THEN
THEY GET PUSHED AROUND.
450
00:19:14,887 --> 00:19:17,587
THEY DON'T KNOW HOW TO REACT
WHEN SOMETHING GOES WRONG
451
00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:19,894
AND THEN THEY GET
DISRESPECTED.
452
00:19:19,926 --> 00:19:21,786
THEY JUST DON'T HAVE IT
IN THEM TO BE LIKE,
453
00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:24,658
"WHAT?
OH, HELL NO."
454
00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:27,227
OR "YOU BETTER BACK
THE -- UP."
455
00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:30,637
OR MY FAVORITE:
"-- ALL Y'ALL!"
456
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:33,570
ME, ON THE OTHER HAND,
457
00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:35,136
THAT'S HOW I DO IT.
458
00:19:35,242 --> 00:19:36,912
DO YOU SEE THAT?
459
00:19:36,943 --> 00:19:39,513
THAT -- IS LEAKING
LIKE A TIJUANA ASS--.
460
00:19:39,546 --> 00:19:41,876
NOW HE DONE TOLD YOU
THREE MONTHS AGO
461
00:19:41,914 --> 00:19:44,384
TO FIX THE GODDAMN PIPES,
YOU FAT MOTHER--.
462
00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:47,317
NOW LOOK--
HIS UGLY CLOTHES
ARE RUINED.
463
00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:51,256
DEONTAY, SON!
464
00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:53,861
OH, HE'S OUTTA HERE
'CAUSE Y'ALL SUCK.
465
00:19:53,893 --> 00:19:55,463
YOU TREATED HIM
LIKE --.
466
00:19:55,495 --> 00:19:57,125
HE'S SMARTER THAN
ALL Y'ALL COMBINED
467
00:19:57,163 --> 00:19:59,873
AND YOUR EYEBROWS
NEED A TRIM.
468
00:19:59,899 --> 00:20:02,439
AND LOOK AT YOU.
HA HA, HEY, GIRL.
469
00:20:02,469 --> 00:20:04,169
HE WANTED TO -- YOU.
470
00:20:05,638 --> 00:20:07,108
HA HA.
471
00:20:07,139 --> 00:20:08,779
AND HE PROBABLY WANTED
TO -- YOU TOO!
472
00:20:08,808 --> 00:20:11,108
SOMEBODY VALIDATE
MY --!
473
00:20:11,143 --> 00:20:13,183
Announcer:
THAT'S 1-555-DEONTAY.
474
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:14,582
CALL NOW, WHITE PEOPLE,
475
00:20:14,614 --> 00:20:16,184
AND MAKE A DIFFERENCE
IN YOUR LIFE.
476
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:18,145
SAY THE THINGS
YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED.
477
00:20:18,184 --> 00:20:20,754
AND FOR A SMALL EXTRA FEE,
HE'LL TRAIN YOUR PIT BULLS.
478
00:20:20,787 --> 00:20:23,157
- STAY ON YOUR PROPERTY.
- STAY ON YOURS, FOOL.
479
00:20:23,189 --> 00:20:25,859
- LINE'S ON MY SIDE.
- AIN'T NO LINE.
480
00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:28,702
MAN, THIS FOOL DONE WENT
AND HIRED HIM A RAY-RAY.
481
00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:31,598
WHACK, 'CAUSE YOU STILL
AIN'T DEONTAY, SON!
482
00:20:31,631 --> 00:20:34,271
- Announcer:
HIRE DEONTAY NOW.
- UH!
483
00:20:34,301 --> 00:20:36,871
- ARE THOSE SKINNY JEANS
FOR FAT PEOPLE?
- Ray-Ray: MAYBE.
484
00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:40,373
* P-R-E-T-E-N-D
T-I-M-E. *
485
00:20:40,407 --> 00:20:41,807
Man's voice:
TERRIFIC.
36210
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