Original subtitles

* P-R-E-T-E-N-D T-I-M-E *

* P-R-E-T-E-N-D T-I-M-E. *

( men cheering )

- GO FALCONS! - YEAH!

LET'S GO, SNELLY! RUN ALL OVER THEIR ASSES.

- COME ON. - YEAH, MAN, RIP HIS ( bleep ) HEAD OFF!

- ( crunching ) - ( man grunting )

( all gasping )

( dramatic music plays )

WHAT?

WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?

I DIDN'T THINK HE'D DO IT, MAN. I WAS JUST IN THE MOMENT.

Announcer: This is truly the worst thing to happen in sports.

Nobody-- I don't care how big a fan you are--

nobody wants to see this happen to the rival team.

HEY, MAN, WHEN I YELLED THAT, YOU ALL CHEERED.

ALL RIGHT? YOU'RE ALL GUILTY. YOU WANTED THIS.

NO, YOU DID THIS! SHAME ON YOU.

HEY, MAN, HE YELLED, "RUN ALL OVER THEIR ASSES," OKAY?

REMEMBER THAT EARLIER? AND YOU CHEERED. NOT COOL.

YOU CAN'T DIE FROM THAT.

THAT GUY RIPPED THE DUDE'S HEAD OFF.

ALL RIGHT, TEAM. WE GOT A CALL, SOMEBODY HERE

JUST YELLED, "RIP HIS HEAD OFF."

I DIDN'T MEAN FOR IT TO HAPPEN.

COME ON, BUDDY. LET'S GO.

YEAH, GET THAT PSYCHO OUT OF HERE!

YEAH, RIP HIS HEAD OFF.

- ( bones crunching ) - ( man screams )

- ( all gasp ) - DEAR GOD.

WHO JUST YELLED THAT?

STOP YELLING THAT.

From now on, nobody yell that.

* THIS IS AN EMERGENCY...

HEY, EVERYBODY, THANKS FOR TUNING IN TO THE SHOW.

IT'S VERY VERY NICE OF YOU.

UH, THIS SHOW IS A LOT FILTHIER THAN I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE.

IT'S REALLY REALLY DIRTY, SOME OF THE SKETCHES.

SO DON'T TELL MY MOM I HAVE A SHOW, IF YOU COULD DO ME A BIG FAVOR.

IF YOU SEE HER ON THE STREET, JUST BE LIKE, "I SAW NICHOLAS.

HE'S-- HE'S A DOCTOR.

AND HE SAVED MY LIFE. HE-- HE GAVE ME A NEW HEAD."

( rock music playing )

( siren wailing )

Announcer: COMING THIS FALL,

A SHOW THAT'LL CHALLENGE EVERYTHING YOU BELIEVE.

I'M SO SCARED. MY LEG IS KILLING ME. I THINK IT'S BROKEN.

ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE GONNA BE FINE. ALL RIGHT? WE'RE HERE. OKAY?

- ( kissing ) - WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

YOU'VE SEEN MEDICAL DRAMAS BEFORE,

BUT NONE THIS REAL.

( siren wails )

LIFE AND DEATH ARE STRUGGLES EVERY DAY,

BUT THESE GUYS ARE JUST TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OF IT ALL.

JUST TELL MY DAUGHTER I LOVE HER.

I WILL, SIR. THAT'S A PROMISE.

WHAT THE ( bleep )?

COMING THIS FALL...

Woman: HELP ME!

OH, GOD! DON'T WORRY. I'M HERE, OKAY?

HELP IS HERE. OKAY?

STOP. GROSS.

STOP.

COMING THIS FALL, "PARAMEDICKS."

Man over radio: We got a 12-car pile-up off the 5 freeway.

We need medics over here now.

- WE'RE ON OUR WAY. - Probably 20 to 25 injuries.

( rock music playing )

- I KNOW THAT GUY. - I WAS JUST THINKING THAT.

- WHERE DO WE KNOW HIM FROM? - I CAN'T PLACE IT.

BUT I KNOW WE KNOW HIM.

( sighs )

HEY, I'M SORRY TO INTERRUPT, BUT I KNOW YOU FROM SOMEWHERE, RIGHT?

WE WERE JUST SAYING THAT.

WE LIVE UP THE STREET. ARE YOU FROM THE NEIGHBORHOOD?

NO, I LIVE IN VENICE. I JUST POPPED IN.

DO YOU GO TO ST. CHRISTOPHER'S CHURCH? MAYBE THAT'S IT.

NOPE. WHERE DO YOU SHOOT GUNS, RESEDA OR BAKERSFIELD?

OH, WE DON'T.

DO YOU EVER GO TO THE WINE TASTING AT VENDOME?

I DON'T, BUT I WOULD LOVE TO DO THAT.

UM, WERE YOU ON A JURY RECENTLY?

- NNN-NNH. - NO.

DID YOU GET STUCK WITH JURY DUTY?

NO, NOT EXACTLY.

UM, OH, E.A.?

UH, WHAT'S THAT?

ECSTASY ANONYMOUS?

- UH... - OH, NO.

- NO, WE DON'T. - WE BOTH WORK AT WHOLE FOODS.

MAYBE THAT'S WHERE WE KNOW YOU FROM.

NO, I DON'T SHOP THERE. WHERE DO YOU GET YOUR SCROTUM PIERCED?

NO, I-- I DON'T DO THAT.

- I DON'T HAVE ONE. - SHE DOESN'T HAVE ONE.

- SHE'S A WOMAN. - OKAY, ALL RIGHT.

S.K.A.?

SPECIAL K ANONYMOUS?

P.C.P.A.?

- NO, WE DON'T DO DRUGS. - NO.

NO, POPPY ( bleep ) PUNCHING ANONYMOUS?

- ( sighs ) - REALLY?

- YEAH, JUST WHEW! - OH. NO.

I KNOW IT'S FROM SOMEWHERE, THOUGH. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

WHEN YOU HAVE IT AND YOU'RE LIKE, "I KNOW THAT GUY."

IT'S-- I GOT IT! WE MET THROUGH TED.

OLDER GUY; HE'S GOT A DIARRHEA WATERFALL?

( sighs )

THE LEATHER SWING SET WITH THE MONKEY AND THE GUN?

- NO, WE DON'T KNOW THAT. - NO.

( sighs ) RIGHT.

- YOU KNOW LENNY? - LENNY? WHAT'S HIS LAST NAME?

I DON'T KNOW. HE DEALS METH. HE CAN ( bleep ) HIMSELF. HE DOES IT IN PUBLIC.

OKAY, AGAIN, WE DON'T DO DRUGS.

SO WE WOULDN'T KNOW.

YEAH YEAH YEAH, I DON'T DO DRUGS EITHER.

JUST, I LIKE TO WATCH LENNY ( bleep ) HIMSELF. HE LIVES IN MY BUILDING.

WHAT BLOOD BANK DO YOU GO TO?

- WE DON'T. - WE DON'T, ACTUALLY.

WHERE DO YOU DRINK BLOOD?

WE DO NOT DRINK BLOOD. THAT'S NOT GOOD.

OKAY OKAY.

DO YOU PLAY TENNIS?

WHERE DO YOU FART IN HOMELESS PEOPLE'S MOUTHS?

WE DON'T DO THAT. YOU SHOULDN'T DO THAT, ACTUALLY.

WHAT?

Man: Bernthorn, party of two, your table is ready.

BERNTHORN? YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER MAGGIE AT PATTERSON ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.

- YES, WE DO. - MR. BENNETT, HER ART TEACHER.

WE MET AT PARENT-TEACHER CONFERENCE.

OH, WE FINALLY FOUND IT. IT'S SO GREAT.

YOU GUYS ENJOY YOUR LUNCH. GET THE MAC AND CHEESE.

TELL MAGGIE I SAID HI. PLACE IS GREAT. MACARONI AND CHEESE.

* THE SUN IS UP

* IT'S ANOTHER HUMDRUM MORNING *

* YOU NEED TO DRAG YOUR BODY OUT OF BED *

* YOU GOTTA SLAP YOURSELF

* INTO THE NEW DAY

- * YOU NEED A HEALTHY KICK TO GET AHEAD... * - OW! YOU WHORE!

- * CATFIGHT OATMEAL... - STOP IT, YOU WHORE!

* WAKE UP WITH A PUNCH

* CATFIGHT OATMEAL

* YOU'LL BITE AND SCRATCH YOUR LUNCH... *

OW, MY COOCHIE!

* SO SPANK YOUR APPETITE

* WITH A HAIRBRUSH

* YANK OUT A PULL OF BLACKENED VITAMINS... *

( women screaming )

* SIT DOWN AND CLAW THE EYES OUT *

- * OF YOUR HUNGER... - WHORE, WHORE!

* BUT, SONNY, YOUR TORN PANTIES *

* IS WHERE YOUR DAY BEGINS

* CATFIGHT OATMEAL

* WAKE UP WITH A PUNCH

* CATFIGHT OATMEAL

* YOU'LL BITE AND SCRATCH YOUR LUNCH *

* GO AND CLAW THE EYES OUT OF YOUR HUNGER *

* BUT, SONNY, YOUR TORN PANTIES *

* IS WHERE YOUR DAY BEGINS

* CATFIGHT OATMEAL

- * WAKE UP WITH A PUNCH... - OH MY GOD! WHAT DID I DO?

* CATFIGHT OATMEAL

* YOU'LL BITE AND SCRATCH YOUR LUNCH *

* CATFIGHT OATMEAL

* THE NUTRITION KICK YOU CRAVE *

* CATFIGHT OATMEAL

* BURY YOUR HUNGER IN A SHALLOW GRAVE. *

( woman crying )

Announcer: CATFIGHT OATMEAL.

IT'LL FIGHT OFF YOUR HUNGER

AND POSSIBLY MAKE OUT WITH IT AND THEN MURDER IT.

HEY, NEIGHBOR. WHAT'S THE DEAL?

GAY ROBOT, YOUR MUSIC'S TOO LOUD.

YEAH, BUT WE'RE NOT PLAYING MUSIC.

WELL, TWO NIGHTS AGO IT WAS TOO LOUD AND IT KEPT ME UP.

AND YOU WERE PROBABLY HAVING ONE OF YOUR QUEER

ORGY-CENTERED FART PARTIES.

OKAY, WELL, WE DIDN'T HAVE PEOPLE OVER THIS WEEK.

AND WE DON'T HAVE ORGIES AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT A FART PARTY IS.

EH, SHUT UP.

I KNOW YOUR KIND AND I KNOW WHAT YOU DO IN YOUR BUTT.

KURT, YOU SEEM VERY INTOXICATED FOR A THURSDAY MORNING.

LOOK, JUST STOP SENDING THE QUEER WITCHCRAFT TO MY BRAIN, THAT'S IT.

IS THIS A CRY FOR HELP, KURT? DO YOU NEED SOMEONE TO TAKE YOU TO A MEETING?

IS THAT-- IS THAT WHAT THIS IS?

IT'S NOT A PARTY; IT'S A FILTHY PENIS MEETING?

UM, I THINK IT'S BEST THAT YOU JUST GO HOME AND SLEEP IT OFF, KURT.

YOU NEED TO DEAL WITH SOME ISSUES.

NO NO, LOOK, IF YOU GUYS WRESTLE, CALL ME.

DID YOU JUST SAY "WRESTLE"?

NO. GAY.

SINNER.

NO, BALL DIVER!

( retching )

SO THAT HAPPENED.

( rock music playing )

I'M STEVE CHARIOTT.

DO YOU HAVE A LOT OF DIAMONDS LYING AROUND YOUR HOUSE

AND YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING WITH THEM BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TIME IN YOUR SCHEDULE?

AND YOU WANT SOMETHING IN RETURN, SOMETHING THAT MAKES SENSE?

PUT 'EM IN AN ENVELOPE, PUT 'EM IN THE MAILBOX,

OPEN 'EM UP-- YOU GOT SOME FRESH MEAT.

DIAMONDS FOR MEAT, EH!

HOW MANY TIMES HAS THIS HAPPENED TO YOU--

YOU'RE LOUNGING AROUND YOUR HOUSE, YOU STUMBLE UPON SOME DIAMONDS,

BUT YOU ALSO WANT SOME MEAT? DIAMONDS FOR MEAT!

ANY DIAMONDS WILL DO.

ALL RIGHT? WEDDING RING-- CHICKEN;

EARRINGS-- STEAK;

A TIARA--

VIOLA, PORK.

JUST ASK MY BOY SHWAYZE.

YO, DROP YOUR DIAMONDS...

AND GET YOUR MEAT ON.

SO DON'T WAIT ANY LONGER. FRESH MEAT IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER.

AND THOSE DIAMONDS, THEY'RE JUST GETTING IN THE WAY.

Announcer: THAT'S DIAMONDS-FOR-MEAT.

TOLEDO, OHIO, 43615.

WHO NEEDS DIAMONDS? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Announcer: ALL MAJOR CREDIT CARDS ACCEPTED.

PLEASE... ( muttering )

Man on television: * When you hear me praying...

Martin Luther King, Jr.: We will not be satisfied until justice

rolls down like water.

I have a dream today.

THAT MAN'S DREAM RUINED MY ( bleep ) LIFE.

( singing continues )

GRANDPA,

CAN YOU HELP ME MAKE A SIGN FOR MY LEMONADE STAND?

OH, MY PUMPKIN.

I'M A LITTLE RUSTY. I HAVEN'T MADE A SIGN SINCE, WELL,

SINCE THE 1950s.

THEM WAS THE GOOD OLD DAYS.

( swing music playing )

BACK THEN I OWNED THE LARGEST AND MOST PROFITABLE

SIGN COMPANY IN THE COUNTRY.

I WAS THE GUY WHO MADE ALL THOSE SEGREGATION SIGNS--

"NO BLACKS," "NO COLOREDS," "WHITES ONLY."

THOSE WERE THE BEST YEARS OF MY LIFE.

I MADE SIGNS FOR THE GIRLS I WAS ( bleep ).

Girl: GRANDPA!

I'M SORRY, SWEETHEART. I GOT LOST IN THE FLASHBACK

AND FORGOT YOU WAS STILL STANDING NEXT TO ME.

THERE WAS A SIGN FOR EVERYTHING,

AND I MADE THEM ALL.

IT WAS A GREAT TIME IN AMERICA TO OWN A SIGN BUSINESS.

I MADE SIGNS TO MOVE BLACK PEOPLE TO THE BACK OF THE BICYCLE.

AND I MADE "WHITES ONLY" SIGNS FOR LEMON TREES.

TODAY EVEN WITHOUT A SIGN, MOST BASKETBALLS

ARE STILL BLACKS ONLY.

THOSE WERE THE SALAD DAYS.

WE MAY AS WELL HAVE BEEN PRINTING MONEY.

BUT WHEN DR. KING WAGED HIS VICIOUS ASSAULT ON SEGREGATION,

I LOST HALF MY BUSINESS OVERNIGHT.

BUT I WAS DETERMINED TO PRESERVE MY WAY OF LIFE.

I JOINED MY BROTHERS IN PROTEST.

SIGN MAKERS FOR SEGREGATION! SIGN MAKERS FOR SEGREGATION!

OUR EFFORTS TO EXTINGUISH DR. KING'S DREAMS

WERE ALL IN VAIN.

UNFORTUNATELY THE COPS WERE STILL USING

A "BLACKS ONLY" HOSE.

SO I TRIED TO ADAPT TO THE NEW WORLD.

I MADE "EVERYONE ONLY" SIGNS,

BUT NOBODY BOUGHT ANY.

I MISSED THE WAY THINGS USED TO BE.

IT IS LIFE'S CRUEL IRONY

THAT WOULD ALLOW ONE MAN'S DREAM

TO BECOME ANOTHER MAN'S NIGHTMARE.

THANKS, GRANDPA.

YOU'RE WELCOME, SWEETHEART.

( singing resumes )

* WHEN YOU HEAR ME PRAY...

FRESH LEMONADE, 25¢.

* I'M BUILDING ME A HOME

* MY LORD

* THIS VERY HOUSE...

Announcer: WE NOW RETURN TO OUR MOVIE,

"SPOOKY MANSION ON HAUNTED HILL."

Man: I'VE ALWAYS HAD A STRANGE FASCINATION

WITH THE PAINTING THAT HUNG IN THE GREAT HALLINGTON MANOR,

WHERE LORD HALLINGTON HIMSELF HAD BEEN MURDERED

SHORTLY AFTER THE MANSION'S CONSTRUCTION.

IT'S OFFICIAL. YOU NOW OWN YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S HOUSE.

I LOVE THIS OLD PLACE.

BUT I WAS ALWAYS TROUBLED BY THAT PAINTING.

IT ALWAYS SEEMED LIKE THE EYES WERE FOLLOWING YOU.

THEY DO FOLLOW YOU. WATCH.

( thunder rumbles )

IT'S JUST PLAIN CREEPY.

( thunder cracks )

I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE.

THROUGHOUT THE YEARS, THE PAINTING CONTINUED TO HAUNT ME.

- THOSE EYES... - ( screaming )

THOSE TERRIFYING EYES.

BUT ONE DAY I WALKED INTO THE STUDY

AND I NOTICED SOMETHING STRANGE ABOUT THE PAINTING,

SOMETHING THAT HAD NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE.

WAS THE AGE-OLD CURSE LOSING ITS POWERS?

THE EYES STOPPED FOLLOWING ME.

I FEARED THE PAINTING HAD GONE BLIND.

( thunder rumbling )

BETTER, WORSE.

BETTER...

WORSE.

BETTER...

WORSE.

HOW BAD IS IT, DOCTOR?

YOU CAN-- YOU CAN TELL ME STRAIGHT UP.

LIVING WITH THE BLIND IS NOT AN EASY THING,

BUT IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOUR PAINTING CAN'T LIVE A NORMAL LIFE

AND CONTINUE TO HAUNT PEOPLE FOR MANY YEARS TO COME.

RIGHT.

I'M GONNA RECOMMEND A SPECIALIST.

ISN'T THERE ANYTHING YOU CAN DO?

THERE IS THIS REALLY EXPERIMENTAL LASER SURGERY.

WHA-- A LASER?

BUT IT'S ONLY BEEN TESTED ON HUMANS,

NEVER ON A PAINTING.

LET ME DISCUSS IT WITH HIS FAMILY.

NOW IT'S VERY RISKY,

BUT IT JUST MIGHT WORK.

I THINK WE SHOULD TRY IT.

WHAT DO YOU THINK? DO YOU WANT TO GO FOR IT?

SHOULD WE DO IT?

I AGREE.

WELL, WHAT DID EVERYONE DECIDE?

WE WANT TO GO AHEAD WITH THE SURGERY.

WE'RE NOT AFRAID OF YOUR LASER. HA.

( monitor beeping )

IT WAS TWO WEEKS BEFORE WE WOULD FIND OUT IF THE SURGERY WAS A SUCCESS.

( thunder rumbles )

( thunder cracks )

- IT WORKED! - ( all cheering )

- THANK GOODNESS. - LOOK, THEY'RE EVEN CREEPIER THAN BEFORE.

- HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? - I DON'T KNOW.

- ALL RIGHT. - WELL DONE.

( woman screams )

WE COULD PUT AN EYEPATCH ON HIM, RIGHT?

AND PAINT ON A PIRATE HAT, 'CAUSE HE'S-- HE'S FROM THE SEA. RIGHT?

Announcer: TUNE IN NEXT WEEK FOR "PIRATE PAINTING'S REVENGE."

( rock music playing )

HI, I'M BOB ODENKIRK

FOR FRIENDS OF THE PLANET FOUNDATION.

IF WE DON'T DO SOMETHING ABOUT GLOBAL WARMING,

THE POLAR ICE CAPS WILL MELT

AND WE'LL LEAVE AN UNDERWATER PLANET FOR FUTURE GENERATIONS.

IMAGINE HOW DIFFERENT HISTORY WOULD HAVE BEEN

IF WE HAD INHERITED AN UNDERWATER PLANET.

NOVEMBER 22, 1963:

PRESIDENT KENNEDY TRAVELS THROUGH DEALEY PLAZA

IN AN UNDERWATER MOTORCADE.

FROM THE BOOK DEPOSITORY,

LEE HARVEY OSWALD TAKES AIM WITH A HARPOON.

BUT BEFORE HE CAN FIRE,

KENNEDY IS EATEN BY A GIANT SQUID.

AHHH!

AHHH!

CONSPIRACY THEORISTS ARGUE

THAT KENNEDY WAS ACTUALLY STUNG TO DEATH BY THREE STINGRAYS.

HOWEVER THERE'S NO FILMED EVIDENCE TO RESOLVE THE DEBATE

BECAUSE ABRAHAM ZAPRUDER, THE ONLY WITNESS

WITH AN UNDERWATER CAMERA,

WAS EATEN BY A SCHOOL OF SQUID SHARKS,

WHICH IS WHEN SQUIDS AND SHARKS MATE.

( rock music playing )

( Australian accent ) HERE WE ARE IN THE AMAZON JUNGLE,

NATURE'S CRAZIEST LABYRINTH.

WE'LL MAKE OUR WAY THROUGH, FILLED WITH HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF SPECIES

AND CREATURES OF ALL KINDS.

WHOA! OH WOW.

THESE ARE COCA LEAVES.

THIS IS WHAT THE DRUG COMMONLY KNOWN AS COCAINE

DERIVES ITSELF FROM.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S TAKE A COUPLE OF THESE.

YOU KNOW, JUST IN CASE THERE'LL BE SOME LONG NIGHTS,

WE WANT TO STAY UP AND GET SOME MORE HUNTING DONE.

ALL RIGHT, WOW.

LET'S GET A COUPLE MORE.

OKAY, I'M GOOD. LET'S GO.

( drum beating )

OKAY, UM...

WE'RE BACK. THAT WAS A GOOD WHIZZ.

I FEEL REAL GOOD ABOUT THAT WHIZZ.

UM, AND HERE WE GO!

WE'RE BACK IN THE AMAZON JUNGLE.

AND...

YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GONNA GO WHIZZ ONE MORE TIME.

ALL RIGHT? LET'S GO WHIZZ ONE MORE TIME. ALL RIGHT.

Crew member: YOU'RE NOT EATING COCA LEAVES ALREADY, ARE YOU?

I'M GOIN' WHIZZ, MAN! IT'S THE AMAZON.

ALL RIGHT, SO WE'VE GOT TONS OF TREES HERE...

( indistinct mumbling )

THERE ARE CREATURES ALL OVER. THERE'S A SNAKE.

OH MY GOD, THERE'S DIRT EVERYWHERE. THIS IS LIKE--

Crew member: COULD YOU SLOW DOWN? YOU'RE RAMBLING REALLY FAST.

- OH YEAH, SORRY, MATE. - ( bird chirps )

WHAT'S THAT?

WHAT IS IT, GOR?

THAT'S COPS. THAT'S 5-0.

SOUNDS LIKE A BIRD.

NO! NO, THAT'S COPS, MATE. THAT'S COPS.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET MY LEAVES. NOT GONNA GET MY LEAVES.

GOR, WAIT. GOR!

GOR, WHERE ARE YOU?

WAIT, THIS COULD BE HIM.

GOR, WHAT THE ( bleep ), MAN? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

UH, SORRY, MATE. NO SHORTS ON IN THE CLUB.

WHAT CLUB? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

WHAT AM I TALKIN' ABOUT?

GEE, I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE THE ONLY-- THE HOTTEST CLUB IN THE AMAZON.

WHAT'S UP, GUYS? GOT ANY GIRLS WITH YOU OR IS IT ALL WIENERS?

OH, LEAVES! WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST SAY?

GOOD, SOME REAL LADIES. GO GO. GET ON IN THERE.

BOTTLE'S ON ME. THESE GIRLS ARE AT MY TABLE.

ALL RIGHT? MY TABLE.

GOR, YOU GOTTA STOP EATING COCA LEAVES, MAN.

T.M.Z.! SECURITY, WE GOT PAPARAZZI.

- ( grunting ) - NO, IT'S T.M.Z.

- WE GOT HERE PAPARAZZI. - GOR.

GET OUTTA HERE.

YEAH, PLAY THAT "POKER FACE" A LITTLE LOUDER...

WHEN I MAKE IT RAIN ON THE HOTTEST CLUB

IN THE AMAZON!

* P-R-E-T-E-N-D T-I-M-E. *

DO YOU HAVE A PROFILE ON blackpubesparty

NO.

WHERE DO YOU BUY BLOOD AND THROW IT AT JAPANESE PEOPLE?

WE DON'T DO THAT. YOU SHOULDN'T DO THAT, ACTUALLY.

- DO YOU SCARECROW PEOPLE? - WHAT IS "SCARECROWING"?

YOU KILL SOMEBODY, YOU DISEMBOWEL THEM, STUFF THEM WITH HAY

AND THEN GIVE THEM TO SOMEBODY FOR A WEDDING PRESENT.

NO.

OH, DO YOU HAVE A PROFILE ON babyorgy.org?

NO. NO, WE DON'T.

I KNOW IT'S SOMETHING, THOUGH. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?