All language subtitles for Mixed-ish.s02e05

When you're mixed,
you get front-row seats

to two completely different cultures.

That's why I know what icing is
in hockey,

and it's also why we sang
the Black National Anthem

before every game.

? Let us march on
'til victory is woooon ?

- Back then, it really felt - Whoo!

like there were two Americas.

Magic versus Bird.

Oprah versus Donahue.

And every episode of "Family Feud."

- Fireman.
- Fireman?

But in our house, we found
a way to bridge those worlds,

to stay united as one mixed family.

Great news.

I was talking to your neighbor, Vivica.

And after she got through yelling at me

for blocking her driveway,

she suggested we all
have a Spades night.

Ooh! Girl, you know I love Spades!

I've been needing a Spades night.

I know. I got so excited,

I had to come in here
and not move my car.

Well, that sounds like fun.

What night are we playing?

We?

My dad was about to realize
when it comes to Spades,

there were still two Americas,
and he needed to stay in his.

Do you want to tell him, or do I get to?

Please let me tell him.

I love disappointing White people.

? In the mix ?

? Oh, oh, oh, they keep trying ?

? But they can't stop us ?

? 'Cause we got a love ?

? That keeps rising up ?

? In the mix ?

? Life turns around ?

? 'Round and 'round it goes ?

? Ooh, it's a mixed-up world ?
? Ooh, it's a mixed-up ?

? And that's for sure ?
? Mixed-up ?

? In the mix ?
? Baby ?

? We're gonna get by ?
? We're gonna ?

? On our own, side by side ?

? Love's all we need to be free ?
? Lo-o-o-ve is all ?

? I got you, you got me ?

? Yaaaaay us! ?

? I-I-In the mix ?

? Yaaaaay us! ?

? I-I-In the mix-ish ?

What's so funny?

You wanting to play Spades.

It's the most ridiculous thing ever.

And I've seen you play basketball.

Denise, it's just a card game.

You know what?

Don't look me in the eye
for the next five minutes.

Alicia, do something.

Babe, Spades is not just a game...

it's the game.

Black people take it very seriously.

I beat Granny and she didn't speak to me

for the last 10 years of her life.

- No regrets.
- Mm.

Do you even know
how to play Spades, Paul?

No, but I'm great at Gin Rummy
and, uh, Pinochle, Go Fish...

Lord, help us. He thinks he's bragging.

The difference
between Pinochle and Spades

is like the difference
between eating a sandwich

and eating a nuclear bomb.

Okay, well, you could teach me.

Yeah, I'm sure I could, babe.

And I'm not saying, in time,
you wouldn't be good...

I am.

You would be bad.

Here's the thing:
I'm very good at Spades.

Very good at Spades.

Ve-ry good at Spades.

Okay, so you're good at Spades.

- Ha!
- No, I said I'm very good at Spades.

I hate losing.

Look, I promise, at some point,

I will teach you how to play.

But first, I need to
destroy our neighbors

and wipe the floor with their corpses.

Okay, all right. I get it.

You like to win. I'll let it go.

- Ooooooh!
- Girl.

We about to beat them!

- Oop!
- We 'bout to win it.

Beat they butts!

- Win!
- Hey! Hey! Hey!

- Bip! Bap!
- Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

In the '80s, America got cable TV,

and kids got unsupervised
access to adult movies.

Why are you guys watching
"Kramer vs. Kramer"?

I thought it was a boxing movie.

Grandad, why did Mrs. Kramer leave?

They got divorced.

What's that?

Divorce is when a couple
falls out of love.

Then they start spending more
time with their "best friend,"

then they eventually leave you
for that "best friend."

And then sometimes
they also take your boat.

Wait, so love can just go away?

Yeah, can that happen to Mom and Dad?

Relax, guys. They love each other.

They don't fight like
the people in that movie.

Well, even if they do split up,

it's not the end of the world.

Why do you think it's in
every kid movie?

"E.T.," "Karate Kid," "Over the Top."

Well, I like "Karate Kid."

Of course you do.

Divorce is the future of marriage.

So I am gonna teach you to be as
cool with divorce as Daniel-san.

Divorce on, marriage off.

Divorce on...

While Grandad was easing our minds

about the future of divorce,

Dad was also taking a hard look
at the future.

I can't believe how huge that thing is.

That's right.

27 inches.

I'm gonna be paying off this
baby for the next 10 years,

but the sales guy told me

the technology is never
going to get better than this.

Huh.

You're always welcome to come over

and watch a game on the big screen.

How about tomorrow night?

Alicia's having people over
to play Spades.

So it's begun.

What's begun?

Trouble in paradise.

Hey man, y-you made that
Black and White thing

last longer than anyone thought.

Oh, no, no. Everything's fine.

No, she's just really into Spades

and I don't know how to play.

Well, why don't you surprise her
by learning on your own?

That'd be a really nice gesture.

- You think?
- Yeah.

It's hard to keep a marriage
alive without romance.

Of course, in my case,

it was romance that broke us up...

her romance...

with the drummer from
that Styx cover band.

But my point stands.

You know, I bet she would love
if I got good at Spades.

Women love guys who are good at stuff.

Yeah. And I can pick it up quickly.

I'm smart.

Hey. Not just anybody
can work at a public school.

Maybe she and I become
a great Spades partnership.

Yeah. We win on Saturday,
go to regionals, then state.

And before you know it,
we're going for Gold

at the Spades World Open.

I already got my ticket to Vegas.

This is great!

Yeah, let's do this.

Quick question. How do I...

learn about Spades?

Same way I learned how to kiss.

You read a book.

Hey.

I worked in aerospace for over 10 years,

and I never understood
how they got cheese in a can.

Hey, hey.

Hey.

- Baby.
- Mm-hmm?

- I got you something.
- Ooh, what is this?

Oh, you know, just a little something

I've been playing with all night

and now I want to play with you.

Ohhh, I can't wait to open it.

- Yuck. Get a room.
- This is our house.

All right, come on. Open it.

I think it's gonna make you
very, very happy.

Oh, okay.

A... deck of cards?

Oh, yeah, baby.

You and me are gonna play some Spades.

Oh!

I learned how.

From a book.

Paul, there are things
you cannot learn from a book.

Spades. Cooking. Math.

Wait. So you really want to
play in our game?

Absolutely.

Oh, unh-unh. No way.

It's hard enough to bring a husband

who doesn't know how to play a game,

but a White husband?

Whoa, hold up.

So you don't want me to play
because I'm White?

I'm sorry, but he does not have

the right "pigmentation situation."

Huh. Well, the last time
I checked, we weren't a family

that determined what
people could and couldn't do

based on race.

No, no. This is not Prince's band.

Black people and White people
and Spades do not mix.

You cannot let him play with us.

He has a point, Denise.

Paul is my person, and if
he wants to be part of our game

then I should make room for him.

All right.

Show me what you got and deal.

Denise, you in?

- Mm-hmm.
- All right.

Because there are three people,

have to remove one card.

- Hmm.
- Hmm.

Oh, okay.

Look at White Chocolate
over here getting fancy with it.

Okay.

See? My baby knows
how to deal those cards.

Oh, shoot.

Looks like your baby

know how to misdeal those cards.

I don't know what happened.

Yeah.

I'mma miss you when you gotta move out.

Okay. Try it again.

Boom. I got it.

What are you doing?

I had that one.

Yeah. I had it more.

That's not how this works.

Would you excuse us?

And don't worry.
We're not gonna talk about you.

Your dumb husband is gonna
ruin our Spades night.

No, he's learning how to play.

You know it's about
more than just how to play.

He's gonna ruin our space.

You know at the Apollo

when they bring out
the White guy to sing gospel

but we can't boo him
because he's singing about God?

And then he's not as bad as you thought,

but you still rather would
have seen a Black person...

because it's the Apollo!

Is that what you're worried about?

Paul not fitting in?

He's been married to me for 16 years.

He's down. Watch.

Paul, where's the kitchen?

And I'm not allowed to touch it.

See? He's down.

Teena Marie down.

All I'm saying is

bringing a White man to our Spades night

will not end well.

What other Black secrets
are you gonna give away?

How we stay looking so young?

Sweet potato pie?

Our handshake?

He's my husband.

He already knows all about that.

Babe, how do Black people
stay looking so young?

None of my business.

Thank you.

See?

He already knows about our culture.

He just needs to learn how to play.

It's really starting to feel like

you guys are talking about me, though.

We're not.

See? If he was Black,

he would know we were talking about him.

So my mom went about teaching my dad

everything she knew about Spades.

And he slowly started to learn.

Mm-hmm.

- Yeah, you go first.
- First.

So when the night of the game arrived,

although Dad wasn't 100% ready,

Mom was working 110% to get him there.

Ah, pop quiz:
if I'm about to play the ace,

are you allowed to tell me
you have the big joker?

No, that's talking over
the board, which is illegal.

Unless?

Unless no one catches me doing it.

Relax, babe. I got this.

I'm gonna get us some drinks.

No alcohol. You need to stay sharp.

See? You know he's already ruining it.

Everything is different.

You haven't noticed people
coming up to Paul,

introducing themselves and
talking in they phone voices?

"Nice to meet you, Paul.

What a nice home you have here, Paul."

What is this, a job interview?

Once we start playing cards,

no one's gonna see the difference.

The only color that matters
in Spades is black and red.

Well, I told you so.

I'mma say it now so
I don't have to say it later.

Well, I'll probably say it later, too.

Meanwhile, Grandad wanted to prove

that divorce really was
the future of marriage.

Oh, Harrison! I wasn't expecting you.

This place is awesome!

Video games!

Sorry we didn't call first.

I didn't have your number.

- Oh, it's...
- Don't need it.

Listen, you seem like
you're mostly not sad,

so I brought the kids to show them

the positive side of divorce.

Well, I'm honored you
brought them to Uncle Griff.

We're not gonna call you that.

Maybe it'll grow on you.

So yeah, my kids are so much happier

now that me and their mom are divorced.

And they love their new dad, Big Carl.

They went to Disneyland the other week,

and he bought them lunch and souvenirs.

You think they would've gotten
lunch and souvenirs

if their mom and I were still together?

I don't understand how
that can make them happy.

Well, because like I said,
divorce isn't the worst thing

that happens to people.

Griff, tell them the best part.

On it.

Imagine you've been eating
fish sticks for dinner

every night for 23 years.

Then, suddenly you're told
you can have stewardesses...

No, dummy, I'm talking about

going to dinner with your kids.

Oh, right. Sorry.

On Monday, Wednesday,
and every other Saturday,

I take them out for burgers,

and in their kid's meal, they get fries,

a milkshake, and a plastic Grimace.

Now you tell me

that's not better than
your parents' marriage.

What a time to be a kid!

I hope Mom and Dad
get a divorce to-night!

So while my siblings

were becoming as cool
with divorce as Daniel-san,

my parents' Spade game got under way.

- Whoop!
- Oh! There it is.

Oh.

And to everyone's surprise,

my mom and dad were unstoppable.

- And I just have to... Oh, baby!
- Oh!

You know what?

You know what? Deal again.

We're turning it back. That's my man.

Uh-huh.

You got to be kidding me!

- Oh, baby!
- Ohhhhh!

Because if you would've played
smarter...

- Your mama. Your daddy.
- Sleeping on the couch.

- Ooh, ooh.
- This is illegal.

Good game, Larry Bird.

Oh, yeah, Larry Bird
'cause I'm White. Ah!

Oh, can I get you something
to drink, man?

Thanks, whatever you're having.
Appreciate it.

- Up top.
- All right.

Anyway, I needed tonight.

This morning, a judge talked
to me like it was my first day.

You know they don't like
seeing us on top.

- Uh, tell me about it.
- Ooh, no.

No, they do not.

You know, Alicia,
I had one of those days, too.

One of my students' parents
mistook me for the lunch lady.

- What?
- I am a teacher.

A teacher.

- A teacher.
- Come on, girl.

They don't pay you enough to
deal with that kind of crap.

You should've told her,
"You look more like a lunch lady

than me, with your bifocals
and your chin hair."

My man. My man. Preach!

Preach. Oh, Lord.

Lord.

Oh. White people are something special.

Listen, I just wanted to
apologize to all of you

on behalf of all of us.

Baby, you don't need to do that.

Baby, someone needs to.
Am I right, George?

He's saying it right there. I know.

- To equality.
- Okay.

Oh.

Here's to being equal.

Cheers.

I can't lie.

Paul was better at Spades
than I thought he would be.

Yeah, he's really good.

We won all night and everybody
loved playing with him.

But...

But he still somehow ruined things.

As soon as you said
the phone voice thing,

- I couldn't stop hearing it.
- I know, right?

It's like people were trying to
cash a check with no ID.

Some things are just for us.

I don't know if...

Girl, you know.

They can't help themselves.

They take our stuff
and make it their own.

They did it to the blues,
they did it to jazz,

then they did it to rock and roll.

But now we have hip-hop.

And God as my witness,

they will never take that from us.

Go, White boy! Go, White boy!

Go, White boy! Go, White boy!

Go, White boy! Go, White boy!

Go, White boy! Go, White boy!

But apparently they gonna try.

Go, White boy! Go, White boy!

Go, White boy! Go, White boy!

Go, White boy!

Okay, shut it down.

Shut. It. Down.

- What do you think you're doing?
- I gots to go.

This is Spades, there's no dancing.

This is a sacred game where
we talk about our mothers

and we tell stories about our past,

but we tell them in a Black way,
which starts with,

"Y'all don't know nothing about
them banana seat bikes."

Babe, what's... what's the problem?

We won, I was funny, I-I talked
about George's mother.

You really got me good on that one.

Kinda did, didn't I?

You know what?

Don't worry about it.

My sister was right.

You damn right I was.
What was I right about?

- Are you serious?
- What?

I had to move my car.
You're welcome, Vivica.

Denise, can I ask you something?

Am I too down?

Yeah, that's why Alicia's mad at you.

You nailed it.

Honestly, I don't get it.

I mean, I did everything exactly
how she showed me,

and she's still upset with me.

Okay, have a seat.

Here's the thing.

You can't help it,
but when you come around,

it changes everything.

You didn't notice how folks
rolled out the white carpet

as soon as you got here?

The white carpet?

It's something that happens
when White people

make the effort to
come into Black spaces.

I hate to admit it, but it's so rare,

we get excited and try to make you feel

as comfortable as possible.

But I thought they were
just being polite.

People stood around
and chanted "Go, White boy"

while you danced.

You think you that good
at the Running Man,

we wanna just watch you?

I mean, when you put it that way,

w-while making that face...

Look, don't take it personal,

but sometimes we need some
things that are just for us.

But Alicia and I do everything together.

And t... And this Black/White
separation you're talking about

is everything we fought against.

Can you imagine if I said to my wife,

"Uh, sorry, honey, but you can't
come into my White space"?

Yeah, but Paul, part of "being down"

is understanding that
every space that exists

is already a "White space."

And when we come into your spaces,

we don't get nearly
the same treatment that you get

when you come into ours.

That's what makes things like
our Spades game so precious.

So what do I do?

What you asking me for?

She your wife!

Do Black people have to do
everything for you?

What are you guys doing?

We heard Mom and Dad outside.

They're not gonna make it.

So I'm packing my stuff,

and I'm ready to move into my own room.

I don't have a suitcase,

because I'm gonna make them
compete for my love

by buying me new clothes.

Come on.

Look at what you did, Grandad.

They're excited to have
our parents split up.

Oh, c'mon, Rainbow, don't be a killjoy.

I'm just messing with them.

But they take
everything you say seriously.

Nobody takes what I say seriously.

Not even a court of law.

Yeah, but Johan and Santamonica
love and respect you.

You're their grandfather.

They have no choice but to think
you're wise and honorable.

Really?

They think I'm wise and honorable?

Somehow, despite everything
they've seen you do, yes.

Well, you know,
if they think I'm so wise,

maybe I, uh... I do the honorable thing

and stop toying with
their emotions just for fun.

Yeah.

Kids, I got some bad news.

Your parents are gonna be
together for a long, long time.

What?! Why did you get our hopes up?

I was gonna get a pony!

Trust me, your parents staying together

will be better than a pony.

So now you take us for fools?

Hey, I know you're disappointed,

but you're no different than
lots of other kids

whose parents are gonna stay together.

I mean, if society accepted you
after the commune,

you guys are gonna be fine.

Pbht! Well, when I grow up,

I'm gonna get divorced so much.

Yeah, she would.

Hi, baby.

I just want to apologize for
kind of taking over out there.

I-I know I made a mess of your night.

It's not about you taking over.

Look, I know we spent so much time

making sure Black and White people

could be in the same spaces,

but sometimes, I need it
to be all Jeffersons.

No Bunkers.

No, I get it.

I have something to show you. Come on.

Come on.

All right, here we go.

- What is going on?
- Listen. We're ready.

Well, your sister was right,

so I invited everybody back

so you can have
the night you really needed.

Babe, that is so nice,

and I'm sorry for
blowing up at you before.

Oh, no, no, no, I totally get it.

That's what happens when people
get jealous of my dance moves.

Yeah, that's exactly what happened.

Okay, well, this is the part
where I politely excuse myself.

Yeah, get gone.

Seriously, this is romantic and all,

but we have work tomorrow.

Mm-hmm. Mwah.

It took a card game for
my parents to finally admit

they came from two different Americas

and for my mom to see that,
while my dad was her person...

...sometimes, she had
to be with her people.

- Do I still have to sleep on the couch?
- Oh, Lord.

Now, the most important thing
to know about playing Spades

is that you play the people,
not the cards.

You've got to get in their heads.

You've got to make it personal.

Okay, what you got?

You're so bad at Spades,

the only books you can get
are at the library.

Bless your heart.

That was so terrible, it made me sad.

All right, Johan, your turn.

Ready to go!

Just one question... what's a spade?

It's a good thing for you you're pretty.

All right, Santi, don't let me down.

You're so clueless,

you probably grew up on a commune.

So did you.

Not for as long as you guys.

Ooh, I can respect that.

You gon' have to carry this family.
You know that, right?

For this and everything else.

All right, get your cards up.

We about to cuss.

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