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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:07,090 --> 00:01:09,316 What the hell is this? 2 00:01:09,340 --> 00:01:12,563 Only the best Limburger on the market, you're welcome. 3 00:01:14,050 --> 00:01:17,786 I need cash, not some stinking cheese, you orange idiot! 4 00:01:17,810 --> 00:01:18,860 You got it, Mister. 5 00:01:45,853 --> 00:01:47,906 Come on, Alfie, come on. 6 00:01:50,370 --> 00:01:54,349 I know it, we're gonna go inside, you'll see. 7 00:01:54,373 --> 00:01:56,623 Come on now, be a good boy. 8 00:01:58,778 --> 00:01:59,611 Reily? 9 00:02:02,170 --> 00:02:04,420 Looks like Reily's making another experiment. 10 00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:11,866 Okay, good for you, okay, come on, okay. 11 00:02:11,890 --> 00:02:14,386 You did a really fantastic job today, Alfie. 12 00:02:14,410 --> 00:02:16,790 Way to nail that poop on the sidewalk. 13 00:02:17,648 --> 00:02:18,972 You earned it. 14 00:02:32,970 --> 00:02:33,986 Hi there, folks, 15 00:02:34,010 --> 00:02:35,406 this is Marlo Lasker. 16 00:02:35,430 --> 00:02:38,796 I'm probably making Brie or playing chess online. 17 00:02:38,820 --> 00:02:40,607 Please leave a message. 18 00:02:43,870 --> 00:02:46,176 Marlo, I'm not gonna be able to join you 19 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:47,656 at the party tonight. 20 00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:50,586 I'm going to sudden death in the county chess tournament, 21 00:02:50,610 --> 00:02:51,443 but have fun. 22 00:02:53,780 --> 00:02:55,899 That's a bummer, Alfie. 23 00:02:57,430 --> 00:02:59,386 I mean, I'm happy for Reily, he's gonna kick butt 24 00:02:59,410 --> 00:03:01,866 in that chess tournament, I have no doubt. 25 00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:02,737 But it sounds like he's not gonna be 26 00:03:02,761 --> 00:03:05,036 going to the party after all. 27 00:03:05,060 --> 00:03:07,827 Although I'm pretty sure that Susie will still be there. 28 00:03:18,260 --> 00:03:21,202 Alfie, that is very inappropriate. 29 00:03:34,930 --> 00:03:36,860 So what do you think? 30 00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:39,086 Do you think I should still go to the party? 31 00:03:42,190 --> 00:03:44,503 You're right, Alfie, I can do this. 32 00:04:06,850 --> 00:04:07,933 I'm trying. 33 00:05:24,839 --> 00:05:25,672 Susie, oh. 34 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:45,426 How's today's lesson going, Timmy? 35 00:05:45,450 --> 00:05:47,770 It's good, I was just looking over your 36 00:05:48,620 --> 00:05:51,246 queen sacrifice scenario, and I gotta say, 37 00:05:51,270 --> 00:05:55,016 that's a real doozy there, you're a risky fella. 38 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:57,426 The queen sacrifice might appear so brazen 39 00:05:57,450 --> 00:05:59,646 that a player might choose a safer route, 40 00:05:59,670 --> 00:06:02,856 but an elite tactician will always trust his instinct 41 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:04,746 and never shirk from risk. 42 00:06:04,770 --> 00:06:06,846 Remember, you aren't playing in a tournament 43 00:06:06,870 --> 00:06:08,756 in order to paint pretty pictures. 44 00:06:08,780 --> 00:06:10,736 You're playing to score points. 45 00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:14,506 And avoid real sports, okay. 46 00:06:14,530 --> 00:06:15,407 Yes. 47 00:06:15,431 --> 00:06:18,076 Plus, you know, an objectively unsound sacrifice 48 00:06:18,100 --> 00:06:21,216 can have a tremendous psychological effect on your opponent, 49 00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:22,826 throwing him way off track. 50 00:06:22,850 --> 00:06:27,186 In chess, as in life, risk often pays off, 51 00:06:27,210 --> 00:06:30,046 or so I'm told, cool? 52 00:06:30,070 --> 00:06:32,436 Oh, I got it, Marlo, thanks a ton. 53 00:06:32,460 --> 00:06:34,136 You're welcome, Timmy. 54 00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:37,813 And, um, today is payday, just FYI, so. 55 00:06:40,582 --> 00:06:41,873 Here's your payment. 56 00:06:43,250 --> 00:06:44,083 Thanks, Timmy. 57 00:06:47,458 --> 00:06:48,291 Oh, ah. 58 00:07:12,979 --> 00:07:17,979 Oh, oh, oh oh. 59 00:07:40,100 --> 00:07:42,626 Whoa, listen, dweeb. 60 00:07:42,650 --> 00:07:45,776 No parking your girly bicycle thing 61 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:48,246 near my sexy ride. 62 00:07:59,210 --> 00:08:01,206 Excuse me, sir, I believe I should bring it 63 00:08:01,230 --> 00:08:06,146 to your attention that in 2014, 9,937 people died, 64 00:08:06,170 --> 00:08:08,186 unfortunately, in drunk driving accidents. 65 00:08:08,210 --> 00:08:10,686 Now that would be one every 53 minutes. 66 00:08:10,710 --> 00:08:13,896 I should also also let you know that the conviction for DUI 67 00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:15,676 comes with a high financial fine. 68 00:08:15,700 --> 00:08:17,896 They will actually take your license, you will get 69 00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:19,676 imprisoned, at the same time they'll probably 70 00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:21,116 impound your vehicle. 71 00:08:21,140 --> 00:08:25,226 So, if you value your beautiful red-hot 928 more so 72 00:08:25,250 --> 00:08:28,096 than your fading GPA, I'm assuming, 73 00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:30,216 I highly recommend that you allow this lovely woman 74 00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:32,023 to take you home this evening. 75 00:08:33,090 --> 00:08:34,436 Have a good night. 76 00:08:34,460 --> 00:08:35,293 Excuse me. 77 00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:40,460 I'm not drunk. 78 00:08:51,140 --> 00:08:53,337 So like, Brad was totally checking you out the other day. 79 00:08:53,361 --> 00:08:56,231 I know, but like he always does. 80 00:08:57,089 --> 00:08:58,396 Excuse me, ladies. 81 00:08:58,420 --> 00:08:59,626 Would either of you happen to know 82 00:08:59,650 --> 00:09:01,603 where I could find Susie, Susie Banks? 83 00:09:02,540 --> 00:09:04,506 She's in the living room. 84 00:09:04,530 --> 00:09:05,982 Fantastic! 85 00:09:06,006 --> 00:09:07,456 Oh, thanks a million. 86 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:08,363 Oh my God! 87 00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:12,633 Are you for real making fun of retarded people right now? 88 00:09:13,733 --> 00:09:16,386 Uh, what do you mean? 89 00:09:16,410 --> 00:09:19,213 I mean, you're obviously not really like this, right? 90 00:09:20,250 --> 00:09:22,193 I am so offended. 91 00:09:23,500 --> 00:09:26,436 Oh, well, actually I'm offended that you're offended. 92 00:09:26,460 --> 00:09:29,126 You see, ladies, having an IQ of 157 93 00:09:29,150 --> 00:09:31,776 gives me a very unique perspective on the human race. 94 00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:34,136 And although I am special according to my late mother's 95 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:37,656 diary, I am not, nor would I ever, make fun of those 96 00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:40,136 given less intellectual capacity than most, 97 00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:42,276 i.e., since you're a natural blonde, 98 00:09:42,300 --> 00:09:44,586 are we supposed to assume that you're stupid? 99 00:09:44,610 --> 00:09:47,296 Wow, now I'm really offended. 100 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:49,606 Once again, I'm offended that you're offended. 101 00:09:49,630 --> 00:09:52,486 So according to my calculations, that puts four offendeds 102 00:09:52,510 --> 00:09:55,226 between us, and since two negatives equal a positive, 103 00:09:55,250 --> 00:09:56,706 we now have double positives, 104 00:09:56,730 --> 00:10:00,203 therefore, we just came out a head, hashtag, nerd life. 105 00:10:04,170 --> 00:10:05,723 Technically, he's right. 106 00:10:06,980 --> 00:10:09,200 You know no one likes you, right? 107 00:10:17,057 --> 00:10:18,057 Oh oh, ah. 108 00:10:24,397 --> 00:10:25,230 Cheese. 109 00:10:57,629 --> 00:10:58,462 Oh. 110 00:10:59,743 --> 00:11:00,576 Susie. 111 00:11:58,057 --> 00:12:00,466 - Hi, Susie. - Hi, Marlo. 112 00:12:00,490 --> 00:12:01,300 You made it. 113 00:12:01,324 --> 00:12:03,206 Yeah, well I was waiting at the front door 114 00:12:03,230 --> 00:12:04,207 for your parents, but they didn't... 115 00:12:04,231 --> 00:12:05,596 Don't worry about it. 116 00:12:05,620 --> 00:12:08,446 Anyways, my parents are outta the country for the month. 117 00:12:08,470 --> 00:12:10,573 They're in Laos, diplomats. 118 00:12:11,430 --> 00:12:12,263 Got it. 119 00:12:15,260 --> 00:12:18,932 You know you're an hour and a half late, right? 120 00:12:18,956 --> 00:12:19,765 Really? 121 00:12:19,789 --> 00:12:20,599 Yeah. 122 00:12:20,623 --> 00:12:24,665 Oh, uh, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, I'm so sorry. 123 00:12:24,689 --> 00:12:27,576 I'm so embarrassed, I'm so sorry, I apologize. 124 00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:29,093 That's okay. 125 00:12:29,117 --> 00:12:31,156 But I have a good reason. 126 00:12:31,180 --> 00:12:32,486 Really? 127 00:12:32,510 --> 00:12:35,006 It's just, I was doing something 128 00:12:35,030 --> 00:12:37,066 special for your birthday present. 129 00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:37,899 Do you wanna see it? 130 00:12:37,923 --> 00:12:38,770 Yes, of course. 131 00:12:41,925 --> 00:12:42,758 Tada. 132 00:12:43,904 --> 00:12:46,704 Oh, you shouldn't have. 133 00:12:46,728 --> 00:12:49,516 Well it's made from vanilla extract and a hint 134 00:12:49,540 --> 00:12:51,616 of European dynasty made from real 135 00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:53,116 olive oil from the Greeks. 136 00:12:53,140 --> 00:12:56,486 It was made by geeks, no, it wasn't made by geeks, 137 00:12:56,510 --> 00:12:59,813 it was made by the Greeks of 5000 BC. 138 00:12:59,837 --> 00:13:02,725 Oh, that is so sweet of you, thank you. 139 00:13:02,749 --> 00:13:03,582 Oh. 140 00:13:05,149 --> 00:13:05,982 Girls, girls. 141 00:13:07,242 --> 00:13:08,592 Girls, girls, girls, girls. 142 00:13:09,460 --> 00:13:12,276 This is Marlo, he's the one who's been helping me 143 00:13:12,300 --> 00:13:14,926 in my astrophysics class for the past two months. 144 00:13:14,950 --> 00:13:18,014 He's the only reason I passed my exams. 145 00:13:18,038 --> 00:13:20,359 That's not entirely accurate. 146 00:13:20,383 --> 00:13:23,162 Once you understood quantum mechanics, thermodynamics 147 00:13:23,186 --> 00:13:25,286 and Aristarchus' heliocentric theory, you pretty much 148 00:13:25,310 --> 00:13:30,036 had 92.6% of the information you need to know. 149 00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:32,626 I'm really glad you decided to come. 150 00:13:32,650 --> 00:13:33,996 Me too, Susie. 151 00:13:34,020 --> 00:13:36,868 I was wondering if tonight would be a good time to ask you... 152 00:13:36,892 --> 00:13:39,507 Oh my God, baby, baby. 153 00:13:39,531 --> 00:13:40,340 Baby. 154 00:13:45,623 --> 00:13:47,254 Oh my God, you're not gonna believe this. 155 00:13:47,278 --> 00:13:50,406 Jeremy! 156 00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:52,910 Jeremy and I, we drew a penis, 157 00:13:53,891 --> 00:13:55,836 on Chuck's face and tweeted it 158 00:13:55,860 --> 00:13:58,046 to his entire church group online. 159 00:13:58,070 --> 00:14:00,531 Yeah, his penis. 160 00:14:06,820 --> 00:14:07,903 That's nice, Caleb. 161 00:14:09,380 --> 00:14:10,540 Hey, ladies. 162 00:14:11,430 --> 00:14:12,906 Jeremy! 163 00:14:12,930 --> 00:14:14,266 You're a pig. 164 00:14:14,290 --> 00:14:15,100 Shut up, Denise. 165 00:14:15,124 --> 00:14:16,740 No, we're done, we're done, no. 166 00:14:17,990 --> 00:14:19,340 Denise, come on. 167 00:14:20,350 --> 00:14:21,183 Come on. 168 00:14:22,644 --> 00:14:24,796 Come on, come on. 169 00:14:24,820 --> 00:14:25,839 Hey, who let the nerd in here? 170 00:14:25,863 --> 00:14:28,716 Just stop it, Caleb, all right. 171 00:14:28,740 --> 00:14:30,276 Not here, please. 172 00:14:30,300 --> 00:14:31,627 Marlo was just bringing me... 173 00:14:31,651 --> 00:14:33,069 Just what? 174 00:14:33,093 --> 00:14:34,053 Just leaving. 175 00:14:35,290 --> 00:14:36,100 Right? 176 00:14:36,124 --> 00:14:38,516 Well, I, I, I just stopped by 177 00:14:38,540 --> 00:14:42,166 because I was actually, I baked a cheesecake for Susie. 178 00:14:42,190 --> 00:14:43,706 Oh this cheesecake? 179 00:14:43,730 --> 00:14:44,540 Yes, precisely. 180 00:14:44,564 --> 00:14:46,252 Isn't it beautiful? 181 00:14:47,870 --> 00:14:48,703 Wow. 182 00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:52,666 This smells and looks great. 183 00:14:52,690 --> 00:14:53,947 Great job, buddy. 184 00:14:54,938 --> 00:14:56,986 Um, thank you so much. 185 00:14:57,010 --> 00:14:59,236 Hey, I'm feeling kinda thirsty. 186 00:14:59,260 --> 00:15:01,376 Could you be a doll and go get me some punch? 187 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,053 Sure, hon, be right back. 188 00:15:04,444 --> 00:15:06,916 Oh. 189 00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:10,363 Susie, what, where do you want the cake? 190 00:15:14,070 --> 00:15:16,816 Hey, what was your name again? 191 00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:17,673 Uh, 192 00:15:19,590 --> 00:15:22,113 Lasker, Marlo Lasker. 193 00:15:23,810 --> 00:15:26,303 Mm, cool. 194 00:15:27,370 --> 00:15:29,233 Hey, tell me about your cheesecake. 195 00:15:30,340 --> 00:15:31,589 Really? 196 00:15:31,613 --> 00:15:32,467 Yeah. 197 00:15:32,491 --> 00:15:35,676 Okay, well, I baked it with vanilla extract. 198 00:15:35,700 --> 00:15:37,811 Actually, Susie wanted, it was European... 199 00:15:37,835 --> 00:15:40,747 Oo, oh. 200 00:15:44,067 --> 00:15:45,723 Loser. 201 00:15:47,820 --> 00:15:49,053 My gosh, Marlo. 202 00:15:50,620 --> 00:15:51,513 What happened? 203 00:15:52,410 --> 00:15:55,276 Oh, he just had an accident. 204 00:15:55,300 --> 00:15:57,143 Right, Marlo? 205 00:15:58,830 --> 00:15:59,663 Um, I. 206 00:16:01,380 --> 00:16:02,213 Uh. 207 00:16:05,390 --> 00:16:08,046 Yeah, it was an accident. 208 00:16:08,070 --> 00:16:12,063 Oh, Marlo, I'm sorry, I'll get you a towel. 209 00:16:18,470 --> 00:16:20,720 Who said you could come to the party, nerd? 210 00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:24,616 Well actually Susie invited me, so I... 211 00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:27,336 Oh, well, how nice. 212 00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:30,066 Well I certainly wouldn't want you to feel unwelcome. 213 00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:32,576 Have you been offered something to drink? 214 00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:34,146 Perhaps some punch? 215 00:16:34,170 --> 00:16:36,869 Well, I am a little thirsty, now that you mention it. 216 00:16:36,893 --> 00:16:37,810 Oh, oh, oh. 217 00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:51,983 If you go near my girlfriend again, I'll kill you. 218 00:16:52,910 --> 00:16:53,863 You got that? 219 00:16:57,380 --> 00:16:58,293 Beat it, nerd. 220 00:17:00,210 --> 00:17:03,245 Ladies, let's go have some fun. 221 00:17:03,269 --> 00:17:05,686 But don't tell my girlfriend. 222 00:18:16,347 --> 00:18:18,806 Yo, yo, yo, what's the deal, hefe? 223 00:18:18,830 --> 00:18:20,536 Neighborhood watch up in this, bitch. 224 00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:22,736 You better recognize, gringo. 225 00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:25,706 Hey there, Hector, Jose, how's it going, fellas? 226 00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:28,453 We're just taking our business to the next level. 227 00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:36,186 You see any criminals, or you need any favors, 228 00:18:36,210 --> 00:18:37,703 you give us a call, man. 229 00:18:38,730 --> 00:18:41,233 Okay, thanks, fellas, will do. 230 00:18:42,110 --> 00:18:44,086 Hey, you know what time it is? 231 00:18:44,110 --> 00:18:45,746 Well I think it's a quarter past... 232 00:18:45,770 --> 00:18:47,829 It's burnout time, hefe. 233 00:19:00,190 --> 00:19:01,023 Oh ho. 234 00:19:22,209 --> 00:19:24,194 Alfie, hey, buddy. 235 00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:27,433 Alfie. 236 00:19:28,372 --> 00:19:29,622 Hey, how was the party? 237 00:19:31,455 --> 00:19:34,455 It wasn't exactly what I expected. 238 00:19:35,747 --> 00:19:37,333 They didn't like the cheesecake? 239 00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:41,693 Sorry, Marlo, maybe next time. 240 00:19:45,737 --> 00:19:49,716 Reily, do you ever get tired of living like this? 241 00:19:49,740 --> 00:19:50,946 Like what? 242 00:19:50,970 --> 00:19:52,120 I don't know, I mean, 243 00:19:53,990 --> 00:19:57,436 are we nerds, do we look like nerds? 244 00:19:57,460 --> 00:20:00,626 Nerd is a relative term, Marlo, that can only be utilized 245 00:20:00,650 --> 00:20:02,676 geographically based on the common denominator 246 00:20:02,700 --> 00:20:04,166 of what is considered popular and normal 247 00:20:04,190 --> 00:20:06,586 by temporary social standing within a fixed environment 248 00:20:06,610 --> 00:20:07,716 or societal boundaries. 249 00:20:07,740 --> 00:20:09,193 So? 250 00:20:10,300 --> 00:20:11,803 Yes, we're nerds. 251 00:20:13,300 --> 00:20:14,571 Got it. 252 00:20:14,595 --> 00:20:16,016 Is this news to you? 253 00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:18,546 No, not really I guess. 254 00:20:18,570 --> 00:20:21,256 I'm just sick and tired of being laughed 255 00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:23,280 at by everyone and not being respected. 256 00:20:23,304 --> 00:20:24,137 Wait a second. 257 00:20:25,343 --> 00:20:27,393 Does this have anything to do with Susie? 258 00:20:29,420 --> 00:20:31,436 Yes, why do you ask? 259 00:20:31,460 --> 00:20:33,376 Marlo, she's got a boyfriend. 260 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:35,906 He treats her like crap, Reily. 261 00:20:35,930 --> 00:20:38,143 I mean, he doesn't deserve her. 262 00:20:39,500 --> 00:20:40,383 She's an angel. 263 00:20:42,330 --> 00:20:43,936 Be that as it may, she's also 264 00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:45,206 a little bit out of your league. 265 00:20:45,230 --> 00:20:46,436 Well I'm tired of hearing that. 266 00:20:46,460 --> 00:20:48,663 I'm sick of being out of her league. 267 00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:54,363 So tell me what I have to do to win her affection. 268 00:21:00,100 --> 00:21:04,326 Um, according to my recent research on the female brain, 269 00:21:04,350 --> 00:21:06,856 they're mainly attracted to three categories of a man, 270 00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:11,066 strength, sensitivity and romance. 271 00:21:11,090 --> 00:21:12,356 So let's get you better in those areas, 272 00:21:12,380 --> 00:21:14,766 and then you can approach Susie again. 273 00:21:14,790 --> 00:21:16,566 Hey, maybe this time she'll finally see you 274 00:21:16,590 --> 00:21:17,940 as more than just a friend. 275 00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:21,836 Do you really think that'll work? 276 00:21:21,860 --> 00:21:23,286 What have you got to lose? 277 00:21:23,310 --> 00:21:26,247 Time, money, health. 278 00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:29,326 My dignity. 279 00:21:29,350 --> 00:21:32,010 It sounds like you're in a relationship already. 280 00:21:34,891 --> 00:21:36,269 Sorry, sorry, Reily. 281 00:21:36,293 --> 00:21:37,126 It's okay. 282 00:21:39,290 --> 00:21:41,486 Yes, I'll do it, I'll do it. 283 00:21:41,510 --> 00:21:44,373 Okay, let's do it, no, the high-five again. 284 00:21:44,397 --> 00:21:45,406 Yeah. 285 00:21:45,430 --> 00:21:46,240 Awesome. 286 00:21:46,264 --> 00:21:49,253 All right, what do I have to do to make it happen? 287 00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:51,333 What's the plan? 288 00:21:53,024 --> 00:21:53,857 Uh. 289 00:22:04,250 --> 00:22:05,976 Uh, hello. 290 00:22:14,778 --> 00:22:16,147 Ma'am. 291 00:22:21,678 --> 00:22:22,612 Uh, ma'am. 292 00:22:27,237 --> 00:22:29,237 A little bit busy, okay. 293 00:22:35,712 --> 00:22:37,722 This is obviously a bad time, so I'm just gonna go. 294 00:22:38,750 --> 00:22:41,268 You are the Marlo Lasker? 295 00:22:41,292 --> 00:22:44,646 Uh, yes, yes, master sensei, sir, yes. 296 00:22:44,670 --> 00:22:48,553 My name is Marlo Lasker, my friend Reily told me to stop by. 297 00:22:56,090 --> 00:22:58,377 My name Grand Master PooDuDuu. 298 00:23:00,446 --> 00:23:03,370 I came out of sandwich factory in Daegu. 299 00:23:06,347 --> 00:23:08,264 Me no like the mustard. 300 00:23:09,111 --> 00:23:10,173 Me neither, sir. 301 00:23:11,050 --> 00:23:12,950 I'm allergic to mustard, so I hate it. 302 00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:26,576 Yes, Master Sensei, I have swallowed insects 303 00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:28,316 before on multiple camping trips, 304 00:23:28,340 --> 00:23:31,313 but I've never had one go up my, buddada, I think. 305 00:23:32,982 --> 00:23:34,132 We make you stronger. 306 00:23:35,294 --> 00:23:36,294 Come, Marlo! 307 00:23:54,730 --> 00:23:56,063 It's really hot in here. 308 00:23:58,679 --> 00:24:00,103 So, so warm. 309 00:24:03,550 --> 00:24:05,406 You seem really experienced. 310 00:24:05,430 --> 00:24:07,373 14 years. 311 00:24:08,950 --> 00:24:12,476 Okay, is there anything you'd be willing to teach me? 312 00:24:12,500 --> 00:24:13,623 So much. 313 00:24:14,610 --> 00:24:16,216 Ah, yes. 314 00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:19,857 The shape-shifter tornado. 315 00:24:19,881 --> 00:24:21,714 That sounds intense. 316 00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:24,093 Watch and learn. 317 00:24:27,171 --> 00:24:28,779 See, see it? 318 00:24:28,803 --> 00:24:30,074 I see it. 319 00:24:30,098 --> 00:24:31,681 What is it exactly? 320 00:24:32,572 --> 00:24:33,539 Okay. 321 00:24:34,590 --> 00:24:37,406 Something just went in my, my, my body, what just happened? 322 00:24:37,430 --> 00:24:41,213 It will serve you well when you need it the most. 323 00:24:42,990 --> 00:24:43,823 Got it. 324 00:24:46,010 --> 00:24:47,101 Come on. 325 00:24:49,130 --> 00:24:51,520 You seem really focused? 326 00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:54,163 Hi, I'm Marlo. 327 00:24:55,010 --> 00:24:55,860 What's your name? 328 00:24:56,730 --> 00:24:58,903 My name is Thong-teet. 329 00:25:00,370 --> 00:25:02,070 I don't have time to talk to nerd. 330 00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:05,480 Sorry. 331 00:26:33,277 --> 00:26:34,643 For rising sun! 332 00:26:57,044 --> 00:26:58,377 Welcome to hell. 333 00:27:04,027 --> 00:27:05,635 Perfect. 334 00:27:05,659 --> 00:27:07,992 I fed Buta to my pet turtle. 335 00:27:09,220 --> 00:27:10,993 She died for honor. 336 00:27:12,938 --> 00:27:14,486 Marlo san! 337 00:27:14,510 --> 00:27:17,468 Yes, yes, yes, master PooPoo. 338 00:27:17,492 --> 00:27:20,046 Arise to the Enlightenment! 339 00:27:20,070 --> 00:27:22,036 Um, no, I'm good, on second thought, 340 00:27:22,060 --> 00:27:23,728 you know, I think I'm just gonna, 341 00:27:23,752 --> 00:27:25,686 oh, all right. 342 00:27:25,710 --> 00:27:26,647 Master Pokemon, 343 00:27:26,671 --> 00:27:29,846 I think there's been a major misunderstanding. 344 00:27:29,870 --> 00:27:32,646 I was trying to explain to Thong-teet that, well, basically, 345 00:27:32,670 --> 00:27:35,056 I only took this course to become stronger, 346 00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:37,026 because you see, there's this girl I really like. 347 00:27:37,050 --> 00:27:40,638 You must face your ultimate fear! 348 00:27:41,604 --> 00:27:43,716 Grand master, please now listen, 349 00:27:43,740 --> 00:27:45,966 my pheromones are rising at an accelerated rate, 350 00:27:45,990 --> 00:27:47,206 my muscles are spasming. 351 00:27:47,230 --> 00:27:49,726 I suffer from a rare hormonal imbalance. 352 00:27:49,750 --> 00:27:50,560 I've been to a number of physicians. 353 00:27:50,584 --> 00:27:52,423 We have no doctor in Daegu! 354 00:27:52,447 --> 00:27:53,614 You fight now! 355 00:27:55,012 --> 00:27:57,006 Become stronger, Marlo! 356 00:27:57,030 --> 00:27:57,840 Do it, nerd. 357 00:27:57,864 --> 00:27:59,619 You get big penis muscle! 358 00:27:59,643 --> 00:28:01,166 It's my first day, sensei, please. 359 00:28:01,190 --> 00:28:02,533 Stop being such a bitch. 360 00:28:02,557 --> 00:28:03,879 You are my student! 361 00:28:03,903 --> 00:28:05,999 Oh, I'm starting to... 362 00:28:06,023 --> 00:28:07,741 Obey me or die! 363 00:28:07,765 --> 00:28:10,276 Ho, I need Benadryl, does anyone have Benadryl? 364 00:28:10,300 --> 00:28:14,127 You must face you ultimate fear, samurai warrior! 365 00:28:15,483 --> 00:28:17,197 Grand master, no, please. 366 00:28:17,221 --> 00:28:20,617 Does anyone have Flonase or Benadryl? 367 00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:24,668 Master PooDuDuu, you are the king. 368 00:28:26,210 --> 00:28:27,677 My allergies are too strong. 369 00:29:02,270 --> 00:29:04,623 This would have come in handy twice today. 370 00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:10,356 Safety, right, Thong-teet? 371 00:29:10,380 --> 00:29:12,403 You are orange idiot. 372 00:29:25,722 --> 00:29:28,296 Do you mind if I keep these, or? 373 00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:30,373 Take it and get out. 374 00:29:41,980 --> 00:29:44,463 So, tell me about yourself. 375 00:29:45,420 --> 00:29:48,863 Well, you know, I like cheese and chess, 376 00:29:48,887 --> 00:29:51,756 and I have a doggy named Alfie. 377 00:29:51,780 --> 00:29:52,803 He's Italian. 378 00:29:53,720 --> 00:29:54,553 Uh-huh. 379 00:29:57,220 --> 00:29:59,496 And what about your parents, Marlo? 380 00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:01,086 Tell me about them. 381 00:30:01,110 --> 00:30:03,866 Actually, my parents were killed in a helicopter accident 382 00:30:03,890 --> 00:30:06,113 that involved pink sheep and a can of Spam. 383 00:30:08,230 --> 00:30:11,836 It happened on a Sunday, so it was the Sabbath. 384 00:30:11,860 --> 00:30:12,693 I see. 385 00:30:14,310 --> 00:30:17,066 All right, Marlo, what brings you in today? 386 00:30:17,090 --> 00:30:19,546 Well, Miss Shaquanda, I was actually hoping 387 00:30:19,570 --> 00:30:21,616 that maybe you could teach me how to be 388 00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:24,563 more sensitive to a woman's needs. 389 00:30:26,990 --> 00:30:27,940 What did you say? 390 00:30:29,537 --> 00:30:32,916 How to become more sensitive to a woman. 391 00:30:32,940 --> 00:30:35,269 Because, you see, there's this girl, Susie. 392 00:30:35,293 --> 00:30:39,126 Wait, wait, wait, you mean to tell me 393 00:30:39,150 --> 00:30:43,316 that you're willing to pay $125 an hour 394 00:30:43,340 --> 00:30:45,576 because you genuinely wanna learn 395 00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:47,543 how to be more sensitive to a woman? 396 00:30:48,943 --> 00:30:51,393 I'm sorry, did you say $125 an hour? 397 00:30:53,553 --> 00:30:56,356 I'm not really sure that I have that kinda cash. 398 00:30:56,380 --> 00:30:59,566 I must have read it wrong on the website, I apologize. 399 00:30:59,590 --> 00:31:01,816 I tutor, but I'm just a nerd. 400 00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:03,783 So I don't , I don't know. 401 00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:05,593 Nerd? 402 00:31:07,330 --> 00:31:09,226 Well I'm sure there are other ways 403 00:31:09,250 --> 00:31:11,200 you can pay for our session, young man. 404 00:31:14,380 --> 00:31:15,305 What do? 405 00:31:17,344 --> 00:31:19,686 Okay, did you want me to teach you how to do 406 00:31:19,710 --> 00:31:21,906 a four-move checkmate, or... 407 00:31:21,930 --> 00:31:23,239 Chess? 408 00:31:23,263 --> 00:31:24,783 Oh yes, I want you to let 409 00:31:24,807 --> 00:31:27,481 my castle sit on your bishop. 410 00:31:29,270 --> 00:31:31,256 I can teach you how to like rook a king, 411 00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:33,256 if you want, or something, I mean. 412 00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:35,893 Oh yes, show me that king baby. 413 00:31:37,635 --> 00:31:39,826 Oh you're so cute, I love nerds. 414 00:31:39,850 --> 00:31:41,399 Give me that pocket protector. 415 00:31:41,423 --> 00:31:44,926 Oh, oh, those nut huggers, geez. 416 00:31:44,950 --> 00:31:47,050 I wanna party in your fanny pack. 417 00:31:47,950 --> 00:31:50,378 I wanna squeeze your little nerd cheeks. 418 00:31:54,524 --> 00:31:55,742 Oh yes. 419 00:31:55,766 --> 00:31:57,461 Shaquanda, what is happening? 420 00:31:57,485 --> 00:31:58,776 Oh yes. 421 00:31:58,800 --> 00:31:59,916 You like that? 422 00:31:59,940 --> 00:32:01,386 Take me. 423 00:32:01,410 --> 00:32:03,343 Take me, you stupid nerd, take me. 424 00:32:06,413 --> 00:32:07,663 Oh do it, baby. 425 00:32:08,595 --> 00:32:09,845 Oh yes, oh yes. 426 00:32:16,118 --> 00:32:16,951 Checkmate. 427 00:32:35,253 --> 00:32:36,188 Ho ho. 428 00:32:39,198 --> 00:32:40,008 Hi, Reily. 429 00:32:40,032 --> 00:32:41,496 Hey, so how was therapy? 430 00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:43,966 Well I think Miss Shaquanda is a lovely woman 431 00:32:43,990 --> 00:32:46,416 and extremely powerful, I mean, I didn't even know 432 00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:47,726 the human pinkie could do that. 433 00:32:47,750 --> 00:32:50,746 But, you know, I just, I don't think it's gonna work out 434 00:32:50,770 --> 00:32:52,236 for me on a regular basis. 435 00:32:52,260 --> 00:32:55,276 Plus, my pants are so tight and I'm not sure why. 436 00:32:55,300 --> 00:32:57,086 Marlo, you have to approach this experience 437 00:32:57,110 --> 00:32:59,196 with an open mind, otherwise it's not gonna work. 438 00:32:59,220 --> 00:33:01,106 You wanna date, Susie, correct? 439 00:33:01,130 --> 00:33:02,566 Well, I mean, of course I wanna date her, yeah, 440 00:33:02,590 --> 00:33:04,556 but I just think I've done enough today. 441 00:33:04,580 --> 00:33:06,316 Hey, I used my online Starcraft contacts to get you 442 00:33:06,340 --> 00:33:07,684 into that Shakespeare class, so you're going. 443 00:33:07,708 --> 00:33:09,726 But, Reily, I just, I just... 444 00:33:09,750 --> 00:33:12,676 Marlo, you have to learn how to romantically woo a woman. 445 00:33:12,700 --> 00:33:13,796 So get to it. 446 00:33:13,820 --> 00:33:15,861 Carpe diem, mi amigo. 447 00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:20,816 Okay, this is getting a little bit out of control now. 448 00:33:20,840 --> 00:33:23,666 Maybe direct sunlight wasn't a good idea. 449 00:33:23,690 --> 00:33:25,206 Maybe it was too much soil. 450 00:33:25,230 --> 00:33:28,366 Yeah, too much nutrients, it's like on steroids. 451 00:33:28,390 --> 00:33:29,223 Steroids? 452 00:33:30,690 --> 00:33:32,576 Well, I don't suppose it could be any worse 453 00:33:32,600 --> 00:33:34,353 than karate or therapy? 454 00:33:34,377 --> 00:33:35,627 Come on, Alfie. 455 00:33:36,900 --> 00:33:37,943 Hey, Mister. 456 00:33:41,660 --> 00:33:43,410 What are you, following me, nerd? 457 00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:48,610 I know what you want. 458 00:33:54,836 --> 00:33:57,123 Keep your stupid quarter, nerd. 459 00:33:58,000 --> 00:33:58,833 Nerd! 460 00:34:01,153 --> 00:34:05,525 Two quarters. 461 00:34:05,549 --> 00:34:06,632 Two quarters. 462 00:34:11,868 --> 00:34:12,951 Two quarters. 463 00:34:16,915 --> 00:34:18,498 That freaking nerd! 464 00:34:22,275 --> 00:34:23,858 That freaking nerd! 465 00:34:28,470 --> 00:34:30,320 When one is performing Shakespeare, 466 00:34:31,270 --> 00:34:33,223 you must do it with full commitment. 467 00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:38,226 For Dionysus is watching, and unless you want 468 00:34:38,250 --> 00:34:41,836 Lee Strasberg to emerge from his grave 469 00:34:41,860 --> 00:34:46,166 and rip off your genitalia, your bloody testicles, 470 00:34:46,190 --> 00:34:50,156 you had better be as dedicated as Bruce Jenner. 471 00:34:50,180 --> 00:34:51,383 It's Caitlyn. 472 00:34:52,890 --> 00:34:54,546 Do I make myself clear? 473 00:34:54,570 --> 00:34:56,846 Yes, Professor Caine. 474 00:34:56,870 --> 00:34:57,911 Good. 475 00:34:57,935 --> 00:35:00,516 Now let us have two new young lovers up here 476 00:35:00,540 --> 00:35:02,333 to discover truth. 477 00:35:09,180 --> 00:35:10,013 You there. 478 00:35:12,060 --> 00:35:13,010 What's your name? 479 00:35:14,457 --> 00:35:18,196 Um, uh, Lasker, Marlo Lasker, sir. 480 00:35:18,220 --> 00:35:19,616 Fantastic, all right then, 481 00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:24,243 up you come, my little orange thespian, onto the stage. 482 00:35:24,267 --> 00:35:25,417 And who shall join him? 483 00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:27,833 Kimberly. 484 00:35:31,072 --> 00:35:32,096 All the way up. 485 00:35:37,152 --> 00:35:37,961 Nerd! 486 00:35:37,985 --> 00:35:38,864 All right, that's enough, now. 487 00:35:38,888 --> 00:35:40,496 I like your shirt, nerd. 488 00:35:40,520 --> 00:35:41,513 That's enough. 489 00:35:42,750 --> 00:35:45,009 So let us dive right into one of the most 490 00:35:45,033 --> 00:35:46,913 famous scenes of all time. 491 00:35:48,050 --> 00:35:50,186 You mean like in the Godfather? 492 00:35:50,210 --> 00:35:52,986 Al Pacino and Marlon Brando? 493 00:35:53,010 --> 00:35:55,476 I want your shirt, nerd. 494 00:35:55,500 --> 00:35:58,736 We are referring to the classic balcony scene 495 00:35:58,760 --> 00:36:01,097 from Romeo and Juliet. 496 00:36:01,121 --> 00:36:02,166 Oh. 497 00:36:02,190 --> 00:36:03,789 No, uh, in that case I probably shouldn't 498 00:36:03,813 --> 00:36:05,676 because I have a slight fear of heights. 499 00:36:05,700 --> 00:36:07,053 Nonsense, Marlo. 500 00:36:08,590 --> 00:36:13,246 You must be courageous, and show young Juliet 501 00:36:13,270 --> 00:36:16,463 that your love can scale the highest mountains. 502 00:36:17,860 --> 00:36:20,441 Now let us simply use the stage for our set. 503 00:36:20,465 --> 00:36:22,343 Now take her hand. 504 00:36:22,367 --> 00:36:24,583 Go on, take her hand. 505 00:36:24,607 --> 00:36:25,590 There you go. 506 00:36:31,282 --> 00:36:32,092 Oh. 507 00:36:32,116 --> 00:36:33,606 What do I do now? 508 00:36:33,630 --> 00:36:35,726 The scene, of course. 509 00:36:35,750 --> 00:36:36,583 Action! 510 00:36:37,630 --> 00:36:41,966 Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much. 511 00:36:41,990 --> 00:36:44,423 Which mannerly devotion shows in this? 512 00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:49,173 For saints have hands, but pilgrims' hands do touch. 513 00:36:50,250 --> 00:36:54,390 And palm to palm is Holy Palmer's kiss. 514 00:36:59,721 --> 00:37:00,554 Um. 515 00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:03,276 She's epic. 516 00:37:03,300 --> 00:37:06,123 Um, so, are we done? 517 00:37:07,180 --> 00:37:09,396 Do you not know the lines, Marlo? 518 00:37:09,420 --> 00:37:10,993 No, sorry. 519 00:37:11,843 --> 00:37:13,483 It's my first day, so, 520 00:37:14,740 --> 00:37:15,573 my bad. 521 00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:19,866 There you go. 522 00:37:19,890 --> 00:37:20,747 Thank you. 523 00:37:22,656 --> 00:37:25,406 Ahem, have not saint's lips on your face 524 00:37:25,430 --> 00:37:27,146 and Holy Palmer's too. 525 00:37:27,170 --> 00:37:30,476 Oh then, dear saint, let your dry lips do what hands do. 526 00:37:30,500 --> 00:37:32,766 But probably not sexually, they probably, 527 00:37:32,790 --> 00:37:35,866 I mean, I don't want you to be offended or anything, so. 528 00:37:35,890 --> 00:37:38,631 Nigel, he skipped my line. 529 00:37:40,532 --> 00:37:43,556 Marlo, you must relax. 530 00:37:43,580 --> 00:37:45,976 And you need to understand that you need 531 00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:47,613 to romance young Juliet. 532 00:37:48,500 --> 00:37:51,516 Therefore, be centered and calm. 533 00:37:51,540 --> 00:37:52,906 But how do I do it? 534 00:37:52,930 --> 00:37:54,776 What's the process? 535 00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:58,000 This time, when you read your text with Kimberly, 536 00:37:58,024 --> 00:38:00,113 imagine a beautiful waterfall. 537 00:38:01,712 --> 00:38:04,723 Or something else that makes you happy and at peace. 538 00:38:06,050 --> 00:38:07,550 You mean like Preparation H? 539 00:38:16,819 --> 00:38:19,152 Preparation H it is, then. 540 00:38:28,240 --> 00:38:32,260 Saints do not move, though grant for prayer's sake. 541 00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:40,273 Then move not while my prayer's effect I take. 542 00:38:41,630 --> 00:38:45,443 Thus from my lips by yours. 543 00:38:46,850 --> 00:38:48,427 My sin is purged. 544 00:39:01,437 --> 00:39:02,621 Ah. 545 00:39:02,645 --> 00:39:03,455 Ew. 546 00:39:07,863 --> 00:39:08,863 Seriously? 547 00:39:13,184 --> 00:39:14,017 Ah. 548 00:39:15,261 --> 00:39:16,094 Uh. 549 00:39:18,090 --> 00:39:19,243 Marlo, perhaps, 550 00:39:20,630 --> 00:39:22,586 perhaps you're a little too relaxed. 551 00:39:22,610 --> 00:39:23,443 Yeah. 552 00:39:24,680 --> 00:39:25,836 Maybe. 553 00:39:25,860 --> 00:39:29,446 Were you thinking about Preparation H? 554 00:39:29,470 --> 00:39:30,303 No. 555 00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:32,793 Root beer. 556 00:39:34,610 --> 00:39:35,670 I see. 557 00:39:45,471 --> 00:39:48,550 Oh, for God sakes, class dismissed! 558 00:39:48,574 --> 00:39:49,753 Nerd. 559 00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:10,013 Susie, hi, yeah, listen, I'm really sorry. 560 00:40:10,037 --> 00:40:12,306 I'm on my way, I just gotta run home 561 00:40:12,330 --> 00:40:14,106 real quick and change my pants. 562 00:40:14,130 --> 00:40:14,939 Marlo. 563 00:40:14,963 --> 00:40:15,773 And I'll be over for our 564 00:40:15,797 --> 00:40:17,376 science tutoring in a flash. 565 00:40:17,400 --> 00:40:19,406 Marlo, stop talking. 566 00:40:19,430 --> 00:40:21,296 Don't come over tonight. 567 00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:22,586 In fact, I don't think we should do 568 00:40:22,610 --> 00:40:24,226 any more tutoring either. 569 00:40:24,250 --> 00:40:25,505 What do you mean? 570 00:40:25,529 --> 00:40:27,806 It's just, I think it's best 571 00:40:27,830 --> 00:40:30,506 we don't see each other anymore. 572 00:40:30,530 --> 00:40:31,886 Not even as friends. 573 00:40:31,910 --> 00:40:34,566 But, Susie, I wanted to explain. 574 00:40:34,590 --> 00:40:35,676 Goodbye, Marlo. 575 00:40:35,700 --> 00:40:36,510 Susie! 576 00:40:36,534 --> 00:40:38,363 I'm sorry, goodbye. 577 00:40:39,450 --> 00:40:40,283 Wait. 578 00:40:44,460 --> 00:40:45,293 Good job. 579 00:40:46,180 --> 00:40:47,280 You'll thank me later. 580 00:40:55,500 --> 00:40:57,613 Hey, I'm gonna go to Chuck's to drink a few. 581 00:40:58,534 --> 00:41:01,146 But you said we were gonna watch a movie together. 582 00:41:01,170 --> 00:41:02,776 I'll see you later. 583 00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:04,522 But it's date night. 584 00:41:04,546 --> 00:41:05,379 Later. 585 00:43:11,805 --> 00:43:12,638 God, 586 00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:18,813 please make me normal so Susie will like me. 587 00:43:22,430 --> 00:43:24,286 We've all been made in his image 588 00:43:24,310 --> 00:43:26,433 young man, even you. 589 00:43:28,260 --> 00:43:31,706 I'm so sorry, sir, I didn't know anyone else was here. 590 00:43:31,730 --> 00:43:33,453 Please, call me Pastor King. 591 00:43:34,640 --> 00:43:38,023 Now, what seems to be the problem, young man? 592 00:43:39,780 --> 00:43:41,853 Well, all right, Pastor King, 593 00:43:43,740 --> 00:43:47,223 I've been in love with a girl named Susie for months now, 594 00:43:49,170 --> 00:43:50,493 but she's dating Caleb. 595 00:43:52,942 --> 00:43:54,300 And since he's a jock and 596 00:43:56,810 --> 00:43:57,833 I'm a nerd, 597 00:44:00,470 --> 00:44:01,303 that's that. 598 00:44:02,740 --> 00:44:06,216 Sometimes we need to increase the faith in ourselves 599 00:44:06,240 --> 00:44:08,166 in order to have the confidence 600 00:44:08,190 --> 00:44:10,246 for a loving relationship such as this. 601 00:44:10,270 --> 00:44:12,866 But I have, Pastor King, I really have. 602 00:44:12,890 --> 00:44:15,336 I mean, I battled a drunken karate master, 603 00:44:15,360 --> 00:44:17,536 I got sexually assaulted by a therapist, 604 00:44:17,560 --> 00:44:19,886 I even urinated in a public theater. 605 00:44:19,910 --> 00:44:21,206 Don't you pee in my church. 606 00:44:21,230 --> 00:44:24,205 Yes, I mean no. 607 00:44:24,229 --> 00:44:25,077 I won't. 608 00:44:25,101 --> 00:44:27,023 This is new carpet. 609 00:44:28,230 --> 00:44:32,706 It looks lovely, very soft. 610 00:44:32,730 --> 00:44:35,633 Mm-hmm, oh yeah, it is. 611 00:44:36,550 --> 00:44:37,513 Very soft. 612 00:44:51,220 --> 00:44:54,766 So, do you have any suggestions 613 00:44:54,790 --> 00:44:57,113 on becoming a normal person? 614 00:44:59,870 --> 00:45:02,036 What you must understand, my son, 615 00:45:02,060 --> 00:45:05,936 is that God made you exactly how you need to be, 616 00:45:05,960 --> 00:45:07,543 exactly how you are. 617 00:45:08,720 --> 00:45:12,363 And that there's no such thing as, normal. 618 00:45:15,700 --> 00:45:17,009 So rejoice in this. 619 00:45:18,950 --> 00:45:21,106 Wait, what about becoming stronger 620 00:45:21,130 --> 00:45:25,006 and more sensitive and more romantic? 621 00:45:25,030 --> 00:45:27,526 All of this is within you. 622 00:45:27,550 --> 00:45:31,193 Search your heart and find the inner truth. 623 00:45:33,340 --> 00:45:34,173 You're right. 624 00:45:35,800 --> 00:45:37,616 You're right, Pastor King! 625 00:45:37,640 --> 00:45:41,136 Oh you're a genius, thanks a ton for cheering me up! 626 00:45:41,160 --> 00:45:42,164 No problem. 627 00:45:42,188 --> 00:45:43,105 Oh, yeah. 628 00:45:44,330 --> 00:45:47,473 And don't forget to tithe, as God rewards those who do so. 629 00:45:48,340 --> 00:45:49,623 Oh, uh, uh. 630 00:46:05,350 --> 00:46:06,183 Um. 631 00:46:07,040 --> 00:46:08,890 See what else I have. 632 00:46:14,890 --> 00:46:18,106 The church accepts donations that jingle, 633 00:46:18,130 --> 00:46:20,263 but we'd rather have the kind that folds. 634 00:46:22,579 --> 00:46:24,153 Oh. 635 00:46:26,900 --> 00:46:28,199 Thank you. 636 00:46:28,223 --> 00:46:30,466 I'm confused, I thought the church received 637 00:46:30,490 --> 00:46:32,856 most of their donations on Sundays. 638 00:46:32,880 --> 00:46:34,286 And only get paid once a week? 639 00:46:34,310 --> 00:46:35,649 Ain't nobody got time for that. 640 00:46:36,676 --> 00:46:37,775 What's up, now? 641 00:46:37,799 --> 00:46:38,609 You see that game? 642 00:46:38,633 --> 00:46:40,171 Last two minutes was a killer. 643 00:46:40,195 --> 00:46:42,234 Cleveland, Believe Land. 644 00:46:42,258 --> 00:46:43,762 That's why they call him the King. 645 00:46:47,770 --> 00:46:48,804 Susie! 646 00:47:37,309 --> 00:47:38,142 Susie. 647 00:47:40,621 --> 00:47:41,430 Susie. 648 00:47:41,454 --> 00:47:42,424 I'm not washing these dishes again. 649 00:47:42,448 --> 00:47:45,256 Well hell if I am, you need to do them. 650 00:47:45,280 --> 00:47:46,113 Susie. 651 00:47:51,135 --> 00:47:52,246 Susie. 652 00:47:52,270 --> 00:47:53,696 Just do them, do the damn dishes, please. 653 00:47:53,720 --> 00:47:55,346 Don't you use my first name in this house. 654 00:47:55,370 --> 00:47:56,223 I'm a Baptist. 655 00:48:04,455 --> 00:48:05,386 Roger, this stems back 656 00:48:05,410 --> 00:48:06,237 to your childhood, don't it? 657 00:48:06,261 --> 00:48:08,584 Don't you dare bring up my mother again. 658 00:48:08,608 --> 00:48:10,358 Oh come on. 659 00:48:17,417 --> 00:48:18,250 Oh. 660 00:48:20,482 --> 00:48:21,399 What the? 661 00:48:31,396 --> 00:48:33,226 Susie. 662 00:48:33,250 --> 00:48:34,083 Susie. 663 00:48:39,240 --> 00:48:40,106 Marlo? 664 00:48:40,130 --> 00:48:40,963 Ha. 665 00:48:42,610 --> 00:48:44,546 What the heck are you doing here, 666 00:48:44,570 --> 00:48:46,486 and why did you break my window? 667 00:48:46,510 --> 00:48:47,860 You could have just called. 668 00:48:49,260 --> 00:48:51,396 Sorry, I had no cellphone service. 669 00:48:51,420 --> 00:48:53,763 It's probably related to their 53% stock loss. 670 00:48:55,610 --> 00:48:56,443 I have Sprint. 671 00:48:59,260 --> 00:49:02,136 Susie, I have something very important to tell you. 672 00:49:02,160 --> 00:49:04,118 Okay, what is it? 673 00:49:09,490 --> 00:49:12,766 But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? 674 00:49:12,790 --> 00:49:14,046 But hopefully not shatters. 675 00:49:14,070 --> 00:49:18,486 It is the east, and Juliet is the sun, looking badass. 676 00:49:18,510 --> 00:49:20,466 Probably a main sequence G2 star, 677 00:49:20,490 --> 00:49:22,376 like in our own solar system. 678 00:49:22,400 --> 00:49:23,464 More than likely. 679 00:49:24,401 --> 00:49:25,693 It's pretty intense. 680 00:49:27,470 --> 00:49:30,756 Ahem, arise fair sun and kill thy envious moon, 681 00:49:30,780 --> 00:49:33,606 for she is already pale and sick with grief 682 00:49:33,630 --> 00:49:36,896 that thou, her maid, are far more fairer than she. 683 00:49:36,920 --> 00:49:40,306 Probably related to age degeneration 684 00:49:40,330 --> 00:49:43,926 and a lack of moisture and lotions. 685 00:49:43,950 --> 00:49:44,783 Um. 686 00:49:46,010 --> 00:49:48,106 All right, that was close. 687 00:49:48,130 --> 00:49:51,123 Well that's pretty much all I have memorized so far, so. 688 00:49:52,250 --> 00:49:53,173 What do you think? 689 00:49:54,950 --> 00:49:56,396 I think you're a dead man. 690 00:49:59,205 --> 00:50:00,038 Caleb! 691 00:50:12,022 --> 00:50:13,371 What did I say, huh? 692 00:50:13,395 --> 00:50:15,076 I said stay away from my girl or I'd... 693 00:50:15,100 --> 00:50:17,100 You'd kill me, you said you'd kill me. 694 00:50:17,995 --> 00:50:19,679 So you geeks can hear after all, huh? 695 00:50:19,703 --> 00:50:20,573 A nerd and a smartass. 696 00:50:21,431 --> 00:50:23,283 Stop it, Caleb, let him go! 697 00:50:27,497 --> 00:50:29,876 Quiet, woman, I wanna enjoy this. 698 00:50:29,900 --> 00:50:31,589 Just leave him alone, okay. 699 00:50:31,613 --> 00:50:33,476 He's not right for you, Susie. 700 00:50:33,500 --> 00:50:34,536 I'm not gonna let some nerd 701 00:50:34,560 --> 00:50:35,974 hit on what clearly belongs to me. 702 00:50:35,998 --> 00:50:37,556 Belongs to you? 703 00:50:37,580 --> 00:50:41,286 He's right, Susie, I'm sorry. 704 00:50:41,310 --> 00:50:43,360 I never should have tried to ask you out. 705 00:50:44,470 --> 00:50:45,493 Ask me out? 706 00:50:48,731 --> 00:50:50,675 You both are pathetic. 707 00:50:51,591 --> 00:50:52,856 Beat it, loser. 708 00:50:52,880 --> 00:50:55,680 Or the next time I see you will be your last, I promise. 709 00:50:56,680 --> 00:50:58,196 - Marlo. - Let's go, babe. 710 00:50:58,220 --> 00:51:00,056 No, no, Caleb. 711 00:51:00,080 --> 00:51:01,976 I'm not going anywhere with you. 712 00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:03,156 You're drunk. 713 00:51:03,180 --> 00:51:03,990 Come on. 714 00:51:04,014 --> 00:51:05,116 No, Marlo. 715 00:51:05,140 --> 00:51:07,396 Marlo, wait, let me go. 716 00:51:07,420 --> 00:51:09,116 No, Marlo, wait. 717 00:51:09,140 --> 00:51:10,146 Marlo, help. 718 00:51:10,170 --> 00:51:12,078 No, let me go. 719 00:51:12,102 --> 00:51:13,876 Marlo, help. 720 00:51:13,900 --> 00:51:15,156 Please, help. 721 00:51:15,180 --> 00:51:16,023 Let me go. 722 00:51:16,920 --> 00:51:19,175 Marlo, help, let me go. 723 00:51:19,199 --> 00:51:20,726 No, I said no. 724 00:51:20,750 --> 00:51:21,637 We're going home. 725 00:51:21,661 --> 00:51:24,313 No, let me go, you big jerk, I said no! 726 00:51:34,550 --> 00:51:35,613 What are you doing? 727 00:51:37,140 --> 00:51:38,353 We're going home. 728 00:51:44,690 --> 00:51:46,843 Marlo san, listen to me. 729 00:51:47,790 --> 00:51:50,229 I taught you everything I have. 730 00:51:50,253 --> 00:51:51,063 Me? 731 00:51:51,087 --> 00:51:53,761 You can do it, go! 732 00:51:53,785 --> 00:51:55,853 But if I, I'm scared. 733 00:51:55,877 --> 00:51:57,916 Do it, be a man! 734 00:51:57,940 --> 00:52:02,546 Susie has a big breast, what else do you want? 735 00:52:02,570 --> 00:52:03,743 You can do it. 736 00:52:03,767 --> 00:52:06,333 You remember your training, Marlo. 737 00:52:06,357 --> 00:52:08,274 Do not be a coward. 738 00:52:08,298 --> 00:52:10,231 You can face your fear. 739 00:52:10,255 --> 00:52:14,057 I told you about everything, don't be a chicken! 740 00:52:14,081 --> 00:52:17,106 Don't be a little girl, be a man. 741 00:52:17,130 --> 00:52:18,817 Well, uh, what do you recommend? 742 00:52:18,841 --> 00:52:20,511 Don't go away, go fight. 743 00:52:20,535 --> 00:52:22,866 I know, I know, but I can't handle this kinda pressure. 744 00:52:22,890 --> 00:52:23,857 I'm scared. 745 00:52:23,881 --> 00:52:27,536 Use what Buta and I taught you. 746 00:52:27,560 --> 00:52:30,594 Go shoot Fire Fart Fireball! 747 00:52:30,618 --> 00:52:32,170 You gotta go and get her. 748 00:52:32,194 --> 00:52:34,994 Susie, she's the girl for you. 749 00:52:35,018 --> 00:52:36,625 Oh, you're right. 750 00:52:36,649 --> 00:52:38,843 Go kick Caleb's balls! 751 00:52:38,867 --> 00:52:40,811 Focus, focus. 752 00:52:40,835 --> 00:52:42,013 I can do this. 753 00:52:42,037 --> 00:52:44,454 Go fight and die for honor! 754 00:52:50,262 --> 00:52:51,095 Oh oh. 755 00:52:52,780 --> 00:52:53,590 Hey! 756 00:52:55,240 --> 00:52:57,776 You can give me atomic wedgies, force moldy cheese 757 00:52:57,800 --> 00:53:01,146 in my ears, put me on a mission to Mars, twist my nipples, 758 00:53:01,170 --> 00:53:03,746 heck, you can even force me to milk an unwilling goat. 759 00:53:03,770 --> 00:53:06,126 But you will not harm the woman of my dreams. 760 00:53:06,150 --> 00:53:08,176 I'm the woman of your dreams? 761 00:53:08,200 --> 00:53:09,623 Oh my God, really? 762 00:53:10,560 --> 00:53:11,517 It's true. 763 00:53:11,541 --> 00:53:13,246 Wait, I thought you were gay. 764 00:53:13,270 --> 00:53:15,616 Well, actually, we weren't really sure there for a while, 765 00:53:15,640 --> 00:53:18,276 but according to my eighth-grade trigonometry teacher, 766 00:53:18,300 --> 00:53:20,672 Miss McGarrity and an afternoon special, 767 00:53:20,696 --> 00:53:23,813 I am heterosexual, apparently. 768 00:53:26,780 --> 00:53:28,986 I've heard enough from this idiot. 769 00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:38,366 Marlo, what are you doing? 770 00:53:38,390 --> 00:53:39,990 Don't worry, I got this, babe. 771 00:53:42,996 --> 00:53:43,829 Ugh. 772 00:53:57,760 --> 00:53:59,613 Oh, what are you gonna do with that? 773 00:54:01,443 --> 00:54:03,052 Grand master Dada. 774 00:54:12,810 --> 00:54:13,620 I did it. 775 00:54:13,644 --> 00:54:15,220 Okay, freak, that's it. 776 00:54:16,240 --> 00:54:17,240 You're dead. 777 00:54:30,380 --> 00:54:32,466 Ain't nobody hurting my little orange man. 778 00:54:32,490 --> 00:54:35,056 You need sensitivity and Jesus. 779 00:54:35,080 --> 00:54:36,813 Get off me, you fat whale! 780 00:54:39,100 --> 00:54:40,236 Susie. 781 00:54:40,260 --> 00:54:41,866 Are you okay? 782 00:54:41,890 --> 00:54:42,723 Susie? 783 00:54:45,350 --> 00:54:46,903 Not so fast, Shylock. 784 00:54:49,570 --> 00:54:50,403 Whoa. 785 00:54:51,720 --> 00:54:52,786 Who the hell are you people? 786 00:54:52,810 --> 00:54:53,620 And who's Shylock? 787 00:54:53,644 --> 00:54:55,519 I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. 788 00:54:55,543 --> 00:54:56,407 I'm not him, dude. 789 00:54:56,431 --> 00:54:57,846 You got the wrong guy, Mister. 790 00:54:57,870 --> 00:55:01,576 Claudius, Macbeth, Isis, you're all the same. 791 00:55:01,600 --> 00:55:02,926 Bloody wankers. 792 00:55:02,950 --> 00:55:06,026 Grotesque proof of a rotted generation 793 00:55:06,050 --> 00:55:10,926 of societal inbreeds, metaphorized with your MTV, 794 00:55:10,950 --> 00:55:14,161 ADHD bollocks. 795 00:55:14,185 --> 00:55:15,196 Rubbish! 796 00:55:15,220 --> 00:55:16,053 Who are you? 797 00:55:18,077 --> 00:55:19,243 I'm Marlo's bitch. 798 00:55:20,080 --> 00:55:21,430 What? 799 00:55:21,454 --> 00:55:23,204 Are you Michael Caine, the actor? 800 00:55:24,904 --> 00:55:27,066 Uh, no, I'm his cousin, Nigel Caine. 801 00:55:27,090 --> 00:55:30,506 I only allow chauvinistic street scum such as yourself 802 00:55:30,530 --> 00:55:33,446 to call me by my theatrical name. 803 00:55:33,470 --> 00:55:34,863 Oh yeah, and what's that? 804 00:55:35,995 --> 00:55:37,551 Harry Brown. 805 00:55:41,108 --> 00:55:41,941 Oh. 806 00:55:46,092 --> 00:55:47,259 Oh, no kids. 807 00:55:51,270 --> 00:55:52,103 Oo. 808 00:55:53,830 --> 00:55:55,293 Potato guns are fascinating. 809 00:55:57,230 --> 00:56:00,133 Miss Shaquanda, are you all right? 810 00:56:02,930 --> 00:56:04,630 How did you know where to find me? 811 00:56:06,340 --> 00:56:07,869 I'm a stalker, plus I can spot 812 00:56:07,893 --> 00:56:10,346 that little fine booty from anywhere. 813 00:56:10,370 --> 00:56:11,476 Little Hips. 814 00:56:11,500 --> 00:56:12,367 Little Hips? 815 00:56:12,391 --> 00:56:15,246 It's a homo sapien expression of love. 816 00:56:15,270 --> 00:56:18,316 And actually quite an intelligent declaration 817 00:56:18,340 --> 00:56:21,846 with regards to leaving your backdoor open. 818 00:56:21,870 --> 00:56:23,213 Oh. 819 00:56:23,237 --> 00:56:24,070 Okay. 820 00:56:25,730 --> 00:56:28,286 Mrs. Shaquanda, was it? 821 00:56:28,310 --> 00:56:31,223 Actually, it's Miss. 822 00:56:32,080 --> 00:56:34,076 Indeed, my dear. 823 00:56:34,100 --> 00:56:34,933 For now. 824 00:56:36,070 --> 00:56:37,586 Shall we? 825 00:56:37,610 --> 00:56:38,593 Oh hell yeah. 826 00:56:42,790 --> 00:56:45,503 Um, thanks, Professor Caine. 827 00:56:46,430 --> 00:56:48,036 How did you know where to find me? 828 00:56:48,060 --> 00:56:50,060 It was written in the script. 829 00:56:54,393 --> 00:56:56,106 There's a script? 830 00:56:56,130 --> 00:56:56,987 Susie, oh. 831 00:56:58,653 --> 00:56:59,486 Oh. 832 00:57:00,520 --> 00:57:01,770 Susie, are you all right? 833 00:57:04,310 --> 00:57:06,556 Yeah, I think I'll be fine. 834 00:57:06,580 --> 00:57:07,836 It was quite a day. 835 00:57:07,860 --> 00:57:08,670 Yeah. 836 00:57:08,694 --> 00:57:09,720 Looks like the sun is rising. 837 00:57:11,540 --> 00:57:12,490 What about Caleb? 838 00:57:13,380 --> 00:57:14,403 Is he gonna be okay? 839 00:57:18,245 --> 00:57:21,536 Um, no, actually his testicles might be crushed, 840 00:57:21,560 --> 00:57:24,019 so, no, definitely not. 841 00:57:24,043 --> 00:57:26,036 Oh, good. 842 00:57:26,060 --> 00:57:27,146 Right. 843 00:57:27,170 --> 00:57:28,552 Susie. 844 00:57:28,576 --> 00:57:29,386 Yes. 845 00:57:29,410 --> 00:57:30,696 There's been something I've been dying 846 00:57:30,720 --> 00:57:32,120 to tell you this whole time. 847 00:57:33,493 --> 00:57:34,303 Yeah? 848 00:57:34,327 --> 00:57:36,363 I know I may not be the strongest, 849 00:57:37,250 --> 00:57:40,350 or even the most sensitive or 850 00:57:41,190 --> 00:57:43,470 romantic guy in our ZIP code, and 851 00:57:45,470 --> 00:57:47,870 I understand if you never wanna see me again but 852 00:57:49,140 --> 00:57:51,066 I really like you. 853 00:57:51,090 --> 00:57:53,757 And I just want you to know that 854 00:57:55,473 --> 00:57:59,366 being science partners with you for the past two months 855 00:57:59,390 --> 00:58:01,773 is the best thing that's ever happened to me. 856 00:58:03,210 --> 00:58:04,760 I really like you too, Marlo. 857 00:58:06,599 --> 00:58:09,542 Wait, wait, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe. 858 00:58:12,030 --> 00:58:13,156 I'm so sorry, what was it you said? 859 00:58:13,180 --> 00:58:14,816 The lack of hemoglobin to my brain 860 00:58:14,840 --> 00:58:17,443 gave me temporary memory loss. 861 00:58:17,467 --> 00:58:20,244 I said, I really like you too. 862 00:58:25,300 --> 00:58:27,346 Thanks, that was a close one. 863 00:58:27,370 --> 00:58:28,203 Yeah. 864 00:58:30,200 --> 00:58:31,033 Susie? 865 00:58:32,111 --> 00:58:33,078 Yeah? 866 00:58:33,102 --> 00:58:34,716 Will you go on a date with me? 867 00:58:34,740 --> 00:58:36,706 Yes, Marlo. 868 00:58:36,730 --> 00:58:38,153 Really, you will? 869 00:58:39,227 --> 00:58:40,609 But what about, um... 870 00:58:40,633 --> 00:58:42,880 Just, just stop talking. 871 00:58:50,148 --> 00:58:51,148 And kiss me. 872 00:59:09,071 --> 00:59:09,904 Whoa. 873 00:59:32,540 --> 00:59:34,063 Thanks for the call, Homes. 874 00:59:35,110 --> 00:59:36,853 No problem, mis amigos. 875 00:59:37,920 --> 00:59:40,676 So, uh, what are you gonna do with him? 876 00:59:40,700 --> 00:59:41,836 Nada, nada, you know, we're going to take 877 00:59:41,860 --> 00:59:43,460 him for a little ride, you know. 878 01:00:06,040 --> 01:00:09,326 Uh, okay, sounds good, I guess. 879 01:00:09,350 --> 01:00:10,676 Sure. 880 01:00:10,700 --> 01:00:12,036 Peace out, Marlo. 881 01:00:12,060 --> 01:00:14,363 You take care, Marlo, and hey. 882 01:00:19,306 --> 01:00:20,825 Um, thanks. 883 01:00:35,890 --> 01:00:37,346 Hi, Reily. 884 01:00:37,370 --> 01:00:40,176 Hey, I finally finished my solar system. 885 01:00:40,200 --> 01:00:41,326 Wanna come see it? 886 01:00:41,350 --> 01:00:43,666 Dude, I have to stop by Susie's house first, 887 01:00:43,690 --> 01:00:46,266 because we're gonna go to the park for a picnic later. 888 01:00:46,290 --> 01:00:48,136 Holy Linux server. 889 01:00:48,160 --> 01:00:49,666 That's gotta be the third date this week. 890 01:00:49,690 --> 01:00:51,703 I know, I know, I'm in high demand. 891 01:00:52,560 --> 01:00:54,726 But listen, thanks a lot for your advice, Reily. 892 01:00:54,750 --> 01:00:56,546 I've gotta go, well that's Susie, 893 01:00:56,570 --> 01:00:58,746 she's calling me right now, I will have to call you back. 894 01:00:58,770 --> 01:01:00,276 See you tonight, don't be late. 895 01:01:00,300 --> 01:01:01,500 Okay, I won't. 896 01:01:02,674 --> 01:01:04,317 How did this happen? 897 01:01:04,341 --> 01:01:05,906 Okay, I can work with this. 898 01:01:05,930 --> 01:01:09,546 Oo, my mom likes plants, Mother's Day's coming up, so 899 01:01:09,570 --> 01:01:11,733 it'd be the perfect gift, she'll like that. 900 01:01:13,360 --> 01:01:14,356 Hey, Turtle. 901 01:01:14,380 --> 01:01:15,213 Hey, you. 902 01:01:16,450 --> 01:01:18,256 When are you getting here? 903 01:01:18,280 --> 01:01:19,316 I'm starving. 904 01:01:19,340 --> 01:01:20,150 I know, I know. 905 01:01:20,174 --> 01:01:21,936 Soon, I just have to hop on my wheels. 906 01:01:21,960 --> 01:01:24,766 I'll be there in approximately 17 minutes, 907 01:01:24,790 --> 01:01:27,106 minus wind resistance, of course. 908 01:01:27,130 --> 01:01:28,756 See you soon, Monkey Butt. 909 01:01:28,780 --> 01:01:33,033 Oh, I have a little surprise for you, so hurry over. 910 01:01:33,900 --> 01:01:35,601 Bye, kisses. 911 01:01:40,400 --> 01:01:42,100 Alfie, we're gonna so see Susie. 912 01:01:45,180 --> 01:01:46,113 Hey, Mister. 913 01:01:48,570 --> 01:01:49,403 It's me. 914 01:01:50,583 --> 01:01:51,886 Oh, no. 915 01:01:51,910 --> 01:01:53,966 No no no, you stay away from me. 916 01:01:53,990 --> 01:01:56,586 I don't need your money, I'm fine, thank you. 917 01:01:56,610 --> 01:01:58,903 Would you like some Parmesan cheese? 918 01:02:03,300 --> 01:02:04,253 It's Italian. 919 01:02:06,130 --> 01:02:09,009 I knew you wanted it, just get, just take it. 920 01:02:09,033 --> 01:02:10,683 I think we both know you want it. 921 01:02:11,890 --> 01:02:12,837 Come on. 922 01:02:21,440 --> 01:02:23,118 Alfie, Alfie, come on, buddy. 923 01:02:23,976 --> 01:02:25,000 We gotta go see Susie. 924 01:02:27,580 --> 01:02:29,816 Enjoy, Mister, see you later. 925 01:02:29,840 --> 01:02:33,546 Hey, thanks, young man, yeah. 926 01:02:33,570 --> 01:02:35,120 You're welcome, Carl. 927 01:02:36,010 --> 01:02:39,716 Carl, how did you know my name was Carl? 928 01:02:39,740 --> 01:02:42,340 Hey, how did you know my name? 929 01:02:51,075 --> 01:02:52,695 Oh shit. 930 01:02:54,493 --> 01:02:56,426 Looks like the world's a better place 931 01:02:56,450 --> 01:02:58,091 with us in it, huh, Alfie? 932 01:02:58,948 --> 01:02:59,781 What an adventure. 933 01:03:00,800 --> 01:03:01,966 Where do we go from here? 934 01:03:01,990 --> 01:03:06,055 Who knows, but one thing's for certain, it'll be epic. 62950

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