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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,269 --> 00:00:04,539 2 00:00:04,572 --> 00:00:08,542 OH, MY KINGDOM COME. 3 00:00:08,576 --> 00:00:11,446 HERE I AM AGAIN 4 00:00:11,479 --> 00:00:13,749 BACK WITH YOU 5 00:00:13,781 --> 00:00:16,551 YOU AND ME 6 00:00:16,584 --> 00:00:20,754 SKATING SO EFFORTLESS...LY 7 00:00:20,788 --> 00:00:22,688 I LOVE TO ICE SKATE. REALLY? 8 00:00:22,723 --> 00:00:24,363 BUT IT'S BEEN 40 YEARS. 9 00:00:24,392 --> 00:00:25,792 WOW. 10 00:00:25,826 --> 00:00:28,056 NOW THAT HAROLD'S GONE, I'M BACK. 11 00:00:28,096 --> 00:00:29,756 I'M BACK, AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME, 12 00:00:29,797 --> 00:00:31,127 YOU CRUEL BASTARD. 13 00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:34,195 HE WAS CRUEL, MY HUSBAND WAS CRUEL. 14 00:00:34,235 --> 00:00:37,265 RIGHT AFTER WE GOT MARRIED, HE TOOK THE ICE. 15 00:00:37,305 --> 00:00:40,705 HE WAS A FAIR TO MIDDLING SKATER. 16 00:00:40,741 --> 00:00:42,111 I NEVER TOLD HIM THAT. 17 00:00:42,143 --> 00:00:44,313 I ALWAYS TOLD HIM HE WAS GREAT. 18 00:00:44,345 --> 00:00:46,805 THEN, ONE DAY, HE TOOK A TUMBLE ON THE ICE. 19 00:00:46,847 --> 00:00:49,247 HERNIATED TWO DISCS IN HIS BACK. 20 00:00:49,283 --> 00:00:50,853 NEVER SKATED AGAIN. HUH? 21 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:53,324 AND HE PULLED ME ASIDE DURING SEX ONE NIGHT, 22 00:00:53,354 --> 00:00:55,164 RIGHT AS I WAS ABOUT TO CLIMAX, 23 00:00:55,189 --> 00:00:57,229 WHICH HE WOULD NEVER LET ME DO. 24 00:00:57,258 --> 00:01:00,728 AND HE SAID, "GIGI, IF I'M NOT SKATIN', 25 00:01:00,761 --> 00:01:03,301 "YOU'RE NOT SKATIN'." 26 00:01:03,331 --> 00:01:06,231 CAN YOU BELIEVE HOW CRUEL HE WAS TO ME? 27 00:01:06,267 --> 00:01:08,437 AND THEN HE CAME ALL OVER MY FACE. 28 00:01:08,469 --> 00:01:09,339 WHAT? 29 00:01:09,370 --> 00:01:10,500 LA LA LA LA LA 30 00:01:10,538 --> 00:01:12,138 LA LA LA LA LA 31 00:01:12,173 --> 00:01:13,443 LA LA LA LA LA 32 00:01:13,474 --> 00:01:15,484 LA LA 33 00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:17,379 LA LA LA LA LA 34 00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:19,181 LA LA LA LA LA 35 00:01:19,213 --> 00:01:20,453 LA LA LA LA LA 36 00:01:20,481 --> 00:01:22,221 LA LA 37 00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:29,260 38 00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:31,133 LA LA LA LA LA 39 00:01:31,159 --> 00:01:32,689 LA LA LA LA LA 40 00:01:32,726 --> 00:01:34,156 LA LA LA LA LA 41 00:01:34,195 --> 00:01:36,495 LA LA 42 00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:39,230 HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE HERE IN A COUPLE MINUTES. 43 00:01:39,267 --> 00:01:41,167 THIS IS VERY EXCITING. 44 00:01:41,202 --> 00:01:44,172 OH, I CAN-- THE SMELL OF THE ICE. 45 00:01:44,205 --> 00:01:45,265 WHEN I WAS YOUNGER, 46 00:01:45,306 --> 00:01:49,576 I WAS KNOWN TO MOST AS "THE ICE PRINCESS OF CANARSIE." 47 00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:53,910 WHEN IT CAME TO ICE SKATING, NO ONE COULD TOUCH MY LACES. 48 00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:55,517 MM-MM. 49 00:01:55,549 --> 00:01:57,449 EXCEPT, OF COURSE, FOR MY HUSBAND, HAROLD. 50 00:01:57,485 --> 00:02:02,415 BUT, NOW THAT HE'S GONE, I CAN HIT THE ICE ONCE AGAIN. 51 00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:04,226 I'VE HIRED A NICE, YOUNG MAN, 52 00:02:04,258 --> 00:02:06,588 WHO LOOKS LIKE A BULGARIAN PRISON GUARD, 53 00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:08,657 TO GIVE ME A REFRESHER. 54 00:02:08,696 --> 00:02:10,726 HAROLD HATED BULGARIANS. 55 00:02:10,764 --> 00:02:14,904 I'M MASSAGING MY LEGS IN PREPARATION, 56 00:02:14,935 --> 00:02:17,535 BUT I'M AN ICE DANCER. OH, OKAY. 57 00:02:17,571 --> 00:02:18,571 AND WHAT I USED TO DO IS, 58 00:02:18,606 --> 00:02:23,276 I USED TO PUT CREAM INTO MY LEGS TO LOOSEN THEM UP. 59 00:02:23,311 --> 00:02:26,181 GOT IT. I USED, LIKE, A MONISTAT CREAM. 60 00:02:26,214 --> 00:02:27,184 ON YOUR LEGS? 61 00:02:27,215 --> 00:02:30,415 ON MY LEGS, YEAH. ANYWAY, THIS LEG IS READY. 62 00:02:30,451 --> 00:02:32,621 THIS LEG, I'M WORRIED ABOUT. OKAY. 63 00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,693 THIS IS MY ASSISTANT, RICKY. COME, RICKY. 64 00:02:34,722 --> 00:02:37,692 MEET MICHAEL, THE INSTRUCTOR. 65 00:02:37,725 --> 00:02:39,685 HEY, RICKY. HI. 66 00:02:39,727 --> 00:02:40,857 PLEASURE. PLEASURE TO MEET YOU. 67 00:02:40,894 --> 00:02:42,464 LIKEWISE, YEAH. YEAH, HOW YA DOIN'? 68 00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:44,626 GOOD. COME SIT WITH ME. 69 00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:45,665 YOU GONNA BE ICE SKATING TODAY? 70 00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:47,869 NO. WHAT? 71 00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:49,241 WHY NOT? 72 00:02:49,270 --> 00:02:50,300 I DON'T ICE SKATE. 73 00:02:50,338 --> 00:02:52,338 (Gigi) YOU KNOW, HE SUFFERS FROM DEPRESSION. 74 00:02:52,373 --> 00:02:53,413 HE WAKES UP IN THE MORNING. 75 00:02:53,441 --> 00:02:55,441 HE DOESN'T WANNA ROLL OUT OF BED. 76 00:02:55,476 --> 00:02:57,406 SO, WHY DON'T YOU COME ON THE ICE WITH ME? 77 00:02:57,445 --> 00:02:58,645 LISTEN TO ME. NO. 78 00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:00,509 NO. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? 79 00:03:00,548 --> 00:03:02,978 I'M-I'M NOT GOIN'-- I'M NOT GOING ON THE ICE. 80 00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,686 SORRY. I'M-I'M SORRY. 81 00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:06,518 I RENTED OUT THIS WHOLE THING. 82 00:03:06,554 --> 00:03:08,024 UH, YOU THINK I-I-I WANNA BE ALONE. 83 00:03:08,055 --> 00:03:10,755 FOR YOU TO SKATE, ALL RIGHT? YEAH, BUT I THOUGHT WE WOULD DO IT TOGETHER. 84 00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:12,591 NO, NO, NO. 85 00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:13,386 I TELL YOU WHAT. 86 00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:15,557 I DON'T FEEL SAFE-- NO OFFENSE. 87 00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:17,226 I DON'T CARE IF YOU HAVE THE HAND OF GOD. 88 00:03:17,265 --> 00:03:19,325 I DON'T FEEL SAFE UNLESS YOU'RE ON THE ICE WITH ME. 89 00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:20,727 NO, I DON'T FEEL SAFE ON THE ICE, 90 00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:21,968 AND NEITHER SHOULD YOU. 91 00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:24,742 IF YOU FALL, YOU CAN BREAK YOUR HIP ON THE ICE. NO, NO, NO. 92 00:03:24,772 --> 00:03:25,772 NO. 93 00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:27,376 WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HAD A 76-YEAR-OLD WOMAN 94 00:03:27,408 --> 00:03:29,708 ON THE ICE? 95 00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:31,313 SEE? THAT'S MY POINT. 96 00:03:31,345 --> 00:03:35,015 I THINK WE HAVE MISSED YOUR OPPORTUNITY TO EVEN DO THIS. 97 00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:39,248 I DON'T LOOK LIKE THAT WHEN I TALK. 98 00:03:39,287 --> 00:03:41,887 YOU DON'T HAVE TO MOCK-- 99 00:03:41,922 --> 00:03:44,592 DON'T MOCK ME. THIS IS SERIOUS, OKAY? 100 00:03:44,625 --> 00:03:46,925 STOP MOCKING ME! 101 00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:49,500 (laughing) 102 00:03:49,530 --> 00:03:51,470 I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M DOING THIS. (Michael) HERE WE GO. 103 00:03:51,499 --> 00:03:52,899 HAROLD! 104 00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:54,703 DO YOU SEE ME, HAROLD? 105 00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:56,995 YOU DEAD BASTARD. 106 00:03:57,037 --> 00:03:58,437 (Michael) WE GOTTA KEEP YOU SAFE. 107 00:03:58,472 --> 00:04:00,012 THAT'S-THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS. YEAH, BUT I'M VERY EXCITED. 108 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:02,880 OOH, I FEEL THE COOL AIR. 109 00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:04,450 MY NIPPLES ARE HARD. 110 00:04:04,478 --> 00:04:06,578 YEAH. OKAY, HERE WE GO. 111 00:04:06,614 --> 00:04:11,394 UNO, DOS, TRES, CUATRO, CINCO, SEIS. 112 00:04:11,419 --> 00:04:12,319 I'M BACK. 113 00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:13,993 (laughing) 114 00:04:14,021 --> 00:04:16,391 YOU SEE, RICKY? 115 00:04:16,424 --> 00:04:17,664 I'M BACK. 116 00:04:17,691 --> 00:04:19,531 COME ON. JOIN ME, WON'T YOU? 117 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:20,590 (Michael) COME ON, RICKY, LET'S GO. 118 00:04:20,628 --> 00:04:21,928 HERE WE GO. (Gigi) OKAY. 119 00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:22,962 NO, NO. 120 00:04:22,996 --> 00:04:24,996 SOME-- SOMETHING'S HAPPENING HERE. OH, OKAY. 121 00:04:25,032 --> 00:04:26,032 (Ricky) BE CAREFUL! OH, GOD. 122 00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:27,866 PLEASE HELP. OKAY. HOLD ON. 123 00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:29,071 OKAY. I GOT YA. 124 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:30,442 COME ON. COME ON. OH, GOD. 125 00:04:30,471 --> 00:04:32,771 OKAY, OKAY. (Ricky) GIGI! 126 00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:34,576 OH-OH, GOD. 127 00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:35,638 I CAN DO IT. ONE, TWO. 128 00:04:35,676 --> 00:04:37,446 (Ricky) GRAB AHOLD! 129 00:04:37,478 --> 00:04:39,478 OKAY. OOH, I'M ALREADY IN PAIN. 130 00:04:39,513 --> 00:04:40,953 BUT THAT'S OKAY. IT'S A GOOD PAIN. OKAY, ALL RIGHT. 131 00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:44,351 WHOO-HEE-HOO-HA-HOO 132 00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:47,385 OH HERE I AM, EVERYONE 133 00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:51,391 BACK AGAIN ONCE MORE GLIDE. 134 00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:52,885 (Ricky) SLOW AND STEADY, GIGI! FORWARD, NICE AND TIGHT. 135 00:04:52,926 --> 00:04:55,396 I'M IN MY ELEMENT. WHOO! 136 00:04:55,429 --> 00:04:57,099 OH, IT'S COMING BACK TO ME. 137 00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:59,070 OH, YES, INDEED. 138 00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:02,701 THAT LOOKS GOOD! I'M IN MY ELE-- OH, GOD. 139 00:05:02,736 --> 00:05:04,406 OH! 140 00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:05,608 ON THREE. ONE, TWO, THREE. 141 00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:07,039 THERE WE ARE. BACK UP. THAT'S GOOD. 142 00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:08,044 OKAY, WE GOT IT. 143 00:05:08,075 --> 00:05:09,035 OH, GOD. 144 00:05:09,076 --> 00:05:10,976 GIGI! (Gigi groans) 145 00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:12,581 ARE YOU OKAY? ARE YOU OKAY? THAT ONE HURT A LITTLE MORE. 146 00:05:12,613 --> 00:05:14,523 LET'S ROLL OVER. WE GOTTA ROLL OVER AGAIN. 147 00:05:14,548 --> 00:05:16,818 ONCE I ROLL OVER... 148 00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:18,750 OKAY. OKAY. OH, TOO FAR. 149 00:05:18,786 --> 00:05:20,116 OH-OH-OH, GOD. OH, OKAY. 150 00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:21,523 COME BACK. YOU MEAN JUST ONE TIME? 151 00:05:21,555 --> 00:05:22,855 JUST TO THE-JUST TO THE-- OH, OH, OH, OH. 152 00:05:22,890 --> 00:05:24,790 JUST TO THE STOMACH. HURRY IT UP. THERE WE GO. I'M VERY BUOYANT. 153 00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,025 OKAY. I'M VERY BUOYANT. 154 00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:27,159 OKAY. 155 00:05:27,194 --> 00:05:28,164 (Gigi) BUT I DIDN'T KNOW IT WOULD FEEL THIS GOOD. 156 00:05:28,195 --> 00:05:32,125 OH, HOW GLORIOUS IT WAS TO SKATE AGAIN. 157 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:36,465 THE FREEDOM AND-AND LIBERATION I FELT WAS SO INCREDIBLE. 158 00:05:36,504 --> 00:05:38,674 I IMAGINE IT'S HOW ANNE FRANK FELT 159 00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:41,006 WHEN SHE FINALLY EMERGED FROM THAT ATTIC 160 00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:44,381 AFTER THE END OF THE WAR. 161 00:05:44,412 --> 00:05:47,822 I-I REALLY SHOULD FINISH READING THAT DIARY. 162 00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:49,478 STILL FEELING GOOD? YEAH, WATCH ME. 163 00:05:49,517 --> 00:05:50,447 OKAY. I CAN GLIDE. 164 00:05:50,484 --> 00:05:52,124 HERE WE GO. THERE YOU GO. OH, I'M GLIDING. 165 00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:53,892 KEEP THAT CORE TIGHT. YOU GOT IT. WHOO! 166 00:05:53,921 --> 00:05:55,721 YOU GOT IT. YES, INDEED, I AM. 167 00:05:55,756 --> 00:05:57,056 YOU GOT IT. GOOD. 168 00:05:57,090 --> 00:06:00,030 FOR A 76-YEAR-OLD... YOU'RE NOT DOIN' TOO BAD. 169 00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:01,500 YOU GOT IT. YOU GOT IT, GIGE! 170 00:06:01,529 --> 00:06:03,159 YOU GOT IT! 171 00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,926 (grunts) 172 00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:06,896 (Michael) COME ON. COME ON. 173 00:06:06,934 --> 00:06:07,774 ARE YOU OKAY? 174 00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:09,601 (Gigi) OH, MY GOD! OH, GOD. OH, GOD. 175 00:06:09,637 --> 00:06:11,407 OH, GOD. OKAY, OKAY. 176 00:06:11,439 --> 00:06:12,139 ARE YOU OKAY? 177 00:06:12,172 --> 00:06:13,942 RICKY? YEAH, LET'S GET YOU UP. 178 00:06:13,974 --> 00:06:17,144 RICKY, HOW DID YOU GET OUT HERE SO QUICK? 179 00:06:17,177 --> 00:06:20,707 I, UM, I JUST S-S-- I SKATED. 180 00:06:20,748 --> 00:06:21,818 YEAH, COME ON. YOU KNOW HOW TO SKATE. 181 00:06:21,849 --> 00:06:23,449 I THOUGHT YOU NEVER SKATED BEFORE. 182 00:06:23,484 --> 00:06:24,594 OKAY, READY? YEAH. 183 00:06:24,618 --> 00:06:25,818 ONE, TWO, THREE. DON'T PUT WEIGHT ON IT. 184 00:06:25,853 --> 00:06:26,953 WAIT A SECOND. YOU LIED TO ME. 185 00:06:26,987 --> 00:06:28,087 YOU LIED TO ME. OKAY. 186 00:06:28,121 --> 00:06:30,721 HE LIED TO ME. 187 00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:33,428 THAT LITTLE BALL OF ANDROGYNY LIED TO ME. 188 00:06:33,461 --> 00:06:36,661 UH, TO ME, I, HIS EMPLOYER. 189 00:06:36,697 --> 00:06:38,827 THAT'S GROUNDS FOR TERMINATION. 190 00:06:38,866 --> 00:06:39,926 MM-HMM. 191 00:06:39,967 --> 00:06:41,197 NEXT THING YOU KNOW, HE'LL BE TELLIN' ME 192 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:45,514 THAT HIS HELICOPTER WAS SHOT DOWN IN IRAQ. 193 00:06:45,539 --> 00:06:47,979 YOU KNOW, IF HE'S LYING TO ME ABOUT ICE SKATING, 194 00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:49,978 WHO KNOWS WHAT ELSE HE'S LYING ABOUT? 195 00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:53,650 IN FACT, HE COULD BE AN IMPOSTER. 196 00:06:53,681 --> 00:06:57,621 YOU KNOW, COME TO THINK OF IT, 197 00:06:57,651 --> 00:07:00,151 I'VE NEVER SEEN RICKY AND ELLEN DEGENERES 198 00:07:00,187 --> 00:07:03,957 IN THE SAME PLACE, AT THE SAME TIME. 199 00:07:03,991 --> 00:07:05,831 RICKY, YOU ARE AN AMAZING ICE SKATER. 200 00:07:05,859 --> 00:07:08,029 (laughs) YES, YOU ARE. 201 00:07:08,061 --> 00:07:09,231 DID YOU SEE HIM? I DID. 202 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:10,732 OH, HE WAS TERRIFIC. 203 00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:14,004 I THINK I'VE GOT A NEW SKATING PARTNER. 204 00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:16,468 (laughs) 205 00:07:16,504 --> 00:07:18,174 OH, ONCE THIS FOOT HEALS UP, 206 00:07:18,205 --> 00:07:20,605 WE'RE GONNA GET OUT ON THE ICE TOGETHER. 207 00:07:23,544 --> 00:07:24,684 DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT. OH, MY GOD. 208 00:07:24,712 --> 00:07:26,652 YOU'RE A PERFECT SKATER. 209 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:28,820 OH, ONCE THIS FOOT HEALS UP, 210 00:07:28,849 --> 00:07:31,019 WE'RE GONNA GET OUT ON THE ICE TOGETHER. 211 00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:32,521 NO. YES, WE ARE. 212 00:07:32,553 --> 00:07:33,923 NO. WE'RE GONNA PERFORM A ROUTINE. 213 00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:35,894 LET'S JUST-- LET'S GET OFF THE ICE. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 214 00:07:35,923 --> 00:07:37,023 LET'S JUST GET YOU OFF THE ICE. YEP. 215 00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:38,257 COME ON. 216 00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:39,761 YOU REMIND ME OF HAROLD. ALMOST THERE. WE'RE ALMOST THERE. 217 00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:41,063 WE'RE ALMOST THERE. 218 00:07:41,094 --> 00:07:43,234 COME ON. WE'RE ALMOST THERE. NO, LET'S GET YOU OFF THE ICE. 219 00:07:43,263 --> 00:07:44,733 OKAY, OKAY. OKAY, READY? 220 00:07:44,765 --> 00:07:45,995 HERE WE ARE, YES. 221 00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:48,543 SOMEONE NEEDS TO LIFT ME FROM THE TUCKUS UP. 222 00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:49,769 NO, TAKE ME FROM THE ASS. 223 00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:52,573 OH, GOD. TAKE ME FROM THE ASS, AND JUST LIFT UP THE ASS. 224 00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:54,106 CAN YOU TAKE HER FROM-- TAKE, PLEASE. 225 00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:56,181 OKAY, HERE WE GO. READY? NOW, LIFT UP THE ASS. 226 00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:57,139 NO, UNDER. YOU GOTTA GO UNDER, SO-- 227 00:07:57,177 --> 00:07:58,677 COME ON. YES, YES, YES. 228 00:07:58,712 --> 00:08:00,952 OKAY, YOU GOT IT. OKAY, READY? 229 00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:02,681 NO, NO, NO, FROM THE-- UP. 230 00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:04,716 PUT YOUR HAND UP UNDER THERE. 231 00:08:04,752 --> 00:08:05,952 OKAY. THERE YOU GO. 232 00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:07,986 (grunting) THAT'S IT. OKAY, COME ON. 233 00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:09,891 THAT'S IT, EXACTLY. OKAY, LET'S GET YOU DOWN. 234 00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:11,793 THAT'S IT EXACTLY. 235 00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:14,855 OH, RICKY, MY SWEET RICKY. 236 00:08:14,895 --> 00:08:17,765 MY FIGURE SKATER. YOU LIED TO ME! 237 00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:19,968 LA LA LA LA LA LA LA HOW COULD YOU LIE TO ME? I DIDN'T. 238 00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,843 OW! OW! 239 00:08:26,774 --> 00:08:28,644 OW! OW! 240 00:08:28,676 --> 00:08:30,776 OW! 241 00:08:30,811 --> 00:08:32,211 (groaning) 242 00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:33,875 BE GENTLE. BE GENTLE WITH IT, PLEASE. 243 00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:35,254 PLEASE. IT'S OKAY. I THINK THERE'S SWELLING. 244 00:08:35,282 --> 00:08:36,822 IS IT HERE? YEAH, THAT'S WHERE IT HURTS. 245 00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:37,950 THIS HURTS? YEAH. 246 00:08:37,985 --> 00:08:39,845 LET ME PUT THIS... PUT THE ICE ON IT. 247 00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:41,017 GOOD, GOOD, GOOD, GOOD, GOOD. HOW'S THAT FEEL? 248 00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:42,324 BETTER? THAT FEELS GOOD. 249 00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:43,485 DO ME A FAVOR. PUT IT ON MY KNEE NOW. 250 00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,233 BECAUSE MY KNEE IS ALSO IN A LOT OF PAIN. ON YOUR KNEE? 251 00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:47,828 THIS KNEE? NO, TH-THAT KNEE. 252 00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:49,761 YES, THIS KNEE. PUT IT ON THAT KNEE. 253 00:08:49,797 --> 00:08:51,567 I MEAN THIS KNEE. 254 00:08:51,599 --> 00:08:52,999 THERE YA GO. PERFECT. 255 00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:54,803 THAT FEELS GOOD. THAT'S BETTER? 256 00:08:54,835 --> 00:08:57,135 NOW, MOVE IT UP JUST THE SLIGHTEST BIT. 257 00:08:57,170 --> 00:08:58,340 ON YOUR HAMSTRING? ON MY HAMSTRING. 258 00:08:58,371 --> 00:08:59,441 OH, YEAH. DID YOU PULL YOUR-- YOU PULLED YOUR HAMSTRING? 259 00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:02,142 OH, YES, AND I SURE DID, AND THEN MOVE IT RIGHT... 260 00:09:02,175 --> 00:09:03,975 THAT'S-- 261 00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:07,151 (sighs) 262 00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:09,580 THAT'S-- THAT'S NOT EVEN INJURED, IS IT? 263 00:09:09,617 --> 00:09:11,587 THAT'S IDEAL. 264 00:09:11,619 --> 00:09:13,289 ALL RIGHT, I THINK YOU'RE JUST-- 265 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:16,760 YOU'RE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF ME. NO, I'M NOT. 266 00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:19,090 I'M NOT TAKING ADVANTAGE. 267 00:09:19,126 --> 00:09:20,926 THANK YOU. 268 00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:22,661 I FEEL NUMB. 269 00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:24,926 JUST AS I BEGAN TO FEEL BETTER, 270 00:09:24,965 --> 00:09:27,225 IT SEEMED RICKY BEGAN FEELING WORSE. 271 00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:31,737 SO, I DECIDED TO GENTLY EXPLORE WHAT IN THE WORLD 272 00:09:31,772 --> 00:09:34,372 COULD POSSIBLY BE BOTHERING HIS LILY, WHITE ASS. 273 00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:39,707 274 00:09:39,747 --> 00:09:41,717 HEY. 275 00:09:41,749 --> 00:09:43,279 HEY. 276 00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:46,246 WHY-WHY DID-WHY DID YOU TELL ME YOU COULDN'T SKATE? 277 00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:48,616 'CAUSE I CAN'T, ALL RIGHT? 278 00:09:48,656 --> 00:09:50,316 BUT YOU CAN. I JUST SAW YOU. 279 00:09:50,357 --> 00:09:51,987 YOU'RE SO GRACEFUL. 280 00:09:52,025 --> 00:09:55,055 WHY DID YOU TELL ME YOU CAN'T SKATE? 281 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,955 WELL, IT'S-- MY-MY FEET HURT, OKAY? 282 00:09:56,997 --> 00:10:00,297 REALLY BAD. WELL, CUT THE CORN. 283 00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:02,003 IT'S NOT A CORN. IT'S AN INGROWN TOENAIL. 284 00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:02,865 SAME THING. 285 00:10:02,903 --> 00:10:05,743 CORN, INGROWN TOENAIL, BUNION, SHMUNION, 286 00:10:05,773 --> 00:10:08,113 FRANKENSTEIN TOE, DOO-DOO FACE, 287 00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:11,081 MONKEY BIRD, COCKATOOFY, AND TUSHA-MOOFY. 288 00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:13,181 I DON'T GIVE A SHIT. 289 00:10:13,213 --> 00:10:15,123 THAT'S RIGHT. I SAID IT. 290 00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:19,348 I'VE BEEN WAITIN' FOR YOU FOR 40 YEARS, BUBBY. 291 00:10:19,386 --> 00:10:22,356 I'LL MEET YOU ON THE ICE IN FIVE, HUH? 292 00:10:22,389 --> 00:10:24,119 (groans) 293 00:10:24,157 --> 00:10:25,157 YAH. 294 00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:26,358 YAH. 295 00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:27,629 YAH. 296 00:10:27,761 --> 00:10:28,761 YAH. 297 00:10:28,862 --> 00:10:29,762 YAH. 298 00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:30,963 YAH. 299 00:10:32,199 --> 00:10:35,699 FOUR MINUTES... 'CAUSE THAT TOOK A MINUTE. 300 00:10:35,736 --> 00:10:36,736 YAH. 301 00:10:37,705 --> 00:10:40,905 YAH. 302 00:10:40,941 --> 00:10:42,681 YAH. OKAY. 303 00:10:42,710 --> 00:10:45,980 OH, I FELT LIKE EBENEZER SCROOGE ON CHRISTMAS DAY. 304 00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:47,883 YOU, BOY, WHAT DAY IS THIS? 305 00:10:47,915 --> 00:10:50,915 WHY, IT'S THE DAY YOU FIND THE PERFECT SKATING PARTNER. 306 00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:52,991 OH, THANK YOU, BOY! 307 00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:55,690 NOW, GO, AND RUN, AND BUY A KOSHER TURKEY, 308 00:10:55,723 --> 00:10:58,933 AND BRING IT TO, UH, BOB, UH, UH, 309 00:10:58,959 --> 00:11:01,429 CRAP-- CRAPSHITS, OR WHATEVER THE NAME WAS. 310 00:11:01,461 --> 00:11:03,431 (laughing) 311 00:11:03,463 --> 00:11:05,873 I WILL TRAIN HIM, 312 00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:07,869 AND HE WILL BECOME THE ICE FAIRY 313 00:11:07,901 --> 00:11:10,241 THAT I KNOW IS BURNING DEEP WITHIN HIS LOINS. 314 00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:13,210 RICKY WAS BORN TO SKATE. 315 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:17,010 MORE SPECIFICALLY, HE WAS BORN TO BE MY SKATING PARTNER 316 00:11:17,044 --> 00:11:19,054 AND MAKE ME LOOK GOOD. 317 00:11:19,079 --> 00:11:20,979 (whistle blows) 318 00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:25,424 OH, MY GOD. 319 00:11:25,452 --> 00:11:32,462 320 00:11:35,128 --> 00:11:39,198 BEAUTIFUL FORM. SO GRACEFUL. 321 00:11:39,232 --> 00:11:40,502 IT'S A LITTLE BORING WHAT YOU'RE DOING. 322 00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:42,403 I'M NOT GONNA LIE. 323 00:11:42,435 --> 00:11:45,105 THERE YA GO! WAVE THAT ARM. 324 00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:46,508 DON'T LOOK AT ME. LOOK AT THE ICE. 325 00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:48,239 LOOK AT THE CROWD. 326 00:11:48,275 --> 00:11:50,375 ENVISION THE GLORY, THE MEDAL... 327 00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:52,880 THE GOLD MEDAL AT THE FAUX OLYMPICS. 328 00:11:52,913 --> 00:11:54,283 JOT THOSE LEGS. 329 00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:57,154 USE YOUR KNEES. 330 00:11:57,184 --> 00:11:58,094 COME ON, NOW. 331 00:11:58,118 --> 00:12:00,488 WE'VE ONLY GOT AN HOUR LEFT ON THIS RINK. 332 00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:03,790 THERE'S NO SENSUALITY. THERE'S NO GRACE. 333 00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:05,434 THERE'S NO FORM. 334 00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:06,788 THERE'S NOTHING. 335 00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:09,097 I WANT SEX. 336 00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:11,229 GET YOUR HIPS INTO IT. USE YOUR HIPS. 337 00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:14,104 DON'T LOOK AT ME. 338 00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:16,204 HOW DARE YOU LOOK AT ME. 339 00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:18,406 YOU SKATE LIKE LARRY FLYNT TALKS. 340 00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:20,308 COME ON, BOY. 341 00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:23,340 I WANT YOUR SOUL ON DISPLAY, SO I CAN CRUSH IT. 342 00:12:25,512 --> 00:12:27,852 OOH-OOH! 343 00:12:27,881 --> 00:12:30,821 HOW DARE YOU EMBARRASS ME IN FRONT OF JONATHAN. 344 00:12:30,851 --> 00:12:33,551 HOW DARE YOU COACH ME LIKE THIS, OKAY? 345 00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:36,356 IT'S REALLY HARD FOR ME TO C-CONCENTRATE ON MY PERFORMANCE 346 00:12:36,389 --> 00:12:38,229 WHEN YOU CONSTANTLY BERATE FOR ME. 347 00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:41,798 SKATE FOR ME, YOU LITTLE CANADIAN, FAIRY BOY. 348 00:12:41,829 --> 00:12:43,159 (laughs) 349 00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:44,866 O-OKAY, THAT WAS MEAN. 350 00:12:44,898 --> 00:12:46,528 I DIDN'T MEAN TO CALL YOU A CANADIAN. 351 00:12:46,566 --> 00:12:48,296 (laughing) 352 00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:55,335 353 00:12:58,178 --> 00:12:59,908 THERE WE GO. 354 00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:01,407 YEAH! 355 00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:04,478 IF YOU'D LIKE, I'LL COVER THE RINK IN TAPIOCA PUDDING. 356 00:13:04,517 --> 00:13:06,817 I KNOW HOW YOU LOVE TAPIOCA. 357 00:13:06,854 --> 00:13:09,024 YOU'RE WORSE ON ICE THAN TEQUILA. 358 00:13:09,056 --> 00:13:11,386 FOR A CANADIAN, YOU SKATE LIKE A MEXICAN. 359 00:13:11,424 --> 00:13:14,234 COME ON! LET'S DO THIS! 360 00:13:14,261 --> 00:13:16,361 I MAY BE HARD ON LITTLE RICKOLA, 361 00:13:16,396 --> 00:13:18,026 BUT IT'S ONLY BECAUSE, WHEN I LOOK AT HIM, 362 00:13:18,065 --> 00:13:22,465 I SEE A GAY JOHNNY WEIR. 363 00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:26,542 I'VE TAKEN IT UPON MYSELF TO SWADDLE [indistinct] RICKY 364 00:13:26,573 --> 00:13:29,013 IN A COCOON OF FASHION, 365 00:13:29,042 --> 00:13:33,112 AND TRANSFORM HIM INTO A BEAUTIFUL, LITTLE BUTTERFLY 366 00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:35,616 OF RAZZLE AND DAZZLE. 367 00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:41,888 HE-HE-HE-HE DOESN'T HAVE WHAT I CALL "KISHKES." 368 00:13:41,922 --> 00:13:43,622 HE DOESN'T HAVE THE KISHKES. 369 00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,386 NO? NO. 370 00:13:47,294 --> 00:13:50,864 OH... THAT'S FINE. 371 00:13:50,898 --> 00:13:54,198 YOU LOOK LIKE A CUBAN HAIRDRESSER. 372 00:13:54,234 --> 00:13:55,944 YOU-YOU DO. 373 00:13:55,969 --> 00:13:57,169 DANEEN, WHAT DO YOU THINK? 374 00:13:57,204 --> 00:13:59,414 I THINK THE RUFFLES WORK FOR YOU. 375 00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:00,639 REALLY? (Daneen) YEAH, I THINK SO. 376 00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:03,083 THEY ADD A LITTLE FLARE TO IT. 377 00:14:03,110 --> 00:14:04,880 THE RUFFLES LOOK LIKE TACO LETTUCE. 378 00:14:04,912 --> 00:14:07,352 I LOVE IT. 379 00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:08,650 OOH! 380 00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:11,121 I LOVE THE SPARKLIES. THEY WORK. 381 00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:12,051 I WOULD LIKE TO PUT MORE. 382 00:14:12,085 --> 00:14:15,355 MAYBE DOWN ON HIS CHEST, AROUND HIS NIPPLES. 383 00:14:15,388 --> 00:14:16,388 SAYS SEX. 384 00:14:16,423 --> 00:14:18,593 IT SAYS LUST. IT SAYS POWER. 385 00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:21,625 I THINK YOU LOOK DIVINE. 386 00:14:21,661 --> 00:14:24,001 I MEAN, REALLY, LIKE AN ANGEL FROM HEAVEN. 387 00:14:24,031 --> 00:14:26,601 I WANNA SEE HOW IT-IT LOOKS WHEN IT'S DYNAMIC. 388 00:14:26,633 --> 00:14:29,243 SO, SHOW ME SOME POSES, KINETIC POSES. 389 00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:32,609 I'M NOT GONNA POSE-- POSE RIGHT NOW, I SAY. 390 00:14:32,639 --> 00:14:35,379 (sighs) 391 00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:38,178 OH, MY GOD, IT'S COMING TO LIFE. 392 00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:39,481 I THINK IT WORKS. 393 00:14:39,512 --> 00:14:46,522 394 00:14:46,619 --> 00:14:51,289 I THINK IT'S ABSOLUTELY PERFECT. 395 00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:53,334 IT'S-- IT'S SOMETHIN'. 396 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:54,930 I LOVE IT. I LOVE IT. 397 00:14:54,962 --> 00:14:56,932 I LOVE IT, I LOVE IT, I LOVE IT. 398 00:14:56,964 --> 00:14:58,204 STOP LOOKING THERE. 399 00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:00,631 THAT CAN BE FIXED. THAT CAN BE ADDRESSED. 400 00:15:00,667 --> 00:15:02,367 YOU LOOK WONDERFUL, TRULY. 401 00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:05,072 I LOVE IT. HOW DO YOU FEEL IN IT? 402 00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:08,537 THERE'S NO WAY. 403 00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:10,675 THERE IS NO WAY. 404 00:15:10,710 --> 00:15:13,650 I'M NEVER WEARING THIS, EVER AGAIN, 405 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:16,480 OUTSIDE OF THIS, FOR YOU GUYS. 406 00:15:16,516 --> 00:15:18,646 TWIRL FOR ME. DO A TWIRL. 407 00:15:18,685 --> 00:15:21,985 NO! NO, I AM NOT COMFORTABLE IN THIS! 408 00:15:22,022 --> 00:15:25,262 YOU CAN SEE EVERY NOOK AND CRANNY, AND BRUISE, 409 00:15:25,292 --> 00:15:27,392 AND BUMP THAT I'VE EVER HAD, SINCE I WAS A CHILD, 410 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,227 IN THIS OUTFIT. 411 00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:32,402 AND I AM NOT GONNA PARADE AROUND ON AN ICE RINK, 412 00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:35,342 IN FRONT OF PEOPLE, IN THIS. 413 00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:38,640 YES, YOU ARE. I WON'T! 414 00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:40,111 YES, YOU WILL. NO! 415 00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:41,570 YES. NO! 416 00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:44,538 I'M SORRY. N-NO WAY! 417 00:15:48,748 --> 00:15:50,078 YOU CAN SEE HIS DICK. 418 00:15:50,117 --> 00:15:51,317 OH, YEAH? YEAH, I THINK SO. 419 00:15:51,351 --> 00:15:52,291 WHY? YOU DIDN'T LOOK? 420 00:15:52,319 --> 00:15:54,649 I WASN'T PAYING ATTENTION. YEAH, YOU LOOKED. 421 00:15:54,687 --> 00:15:55,987 COME ON. NO. 422 00:15:56,023 --> 00:15:57,223 NO? YEAH, MAYBE. 423 00:15:57,257 --> 00:15:58,987 I DID. NO. 424 00:15:59,026 --> 00:16:03,656 WELL, MY ICE FAIRY STORMED OFF ON ME. 425 00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:04,596 FOR THE RECORD, 426 00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:07,001 YOU'VE NEVER SEEN ROBIN STORM OFF ON BATMAN 427 00:16:07,034 --> 00:16:11,744 WHEN BATMAN PICKED OUT HIS TIGHTS FOR HIM. 428 00:16:11,771 --> 00:16:16,481 I GUESS THIS OLD BAT WILL GO WITHOUT HER ROBIN 429 00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:17,779 AND SKATE SOLO. 430 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:20,480 LA LA LA LA LA LA LA 431 00:16:23,183 --> 00:16:26,093 HERE'S TEN. OH, NO, NO, NO, I SAID A TEN MEN'S. 432 00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:27,549 THAT'S A MASSIVE SHOE. MASSIVE. 433 00:16:27,587 --> 00:16:29,457 I UNDERSTAND. I KNOW MY FEET. 434 00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:31,259 I'VE BEEN WALKIN' ON 'EM FOR 76 YEARS. 435 00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:33,431 PLEASE BRING ME A TEN MEN'S. 436 00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:35,430 A TEN IN MEN'S. 437 00:16:35,462 --> 00:16:38,302 OH, GOD. 438 00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:39,731 HERE YOU GO. 439 00:16:39,766 --> 00:16:41,566 (gasps) 440 00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:43,201 RICKY. 441 00:16:43,236 --> 00:16:45,106 OH... THANK YOU. 442 00:16:45,138 --> 00:16:48,108 UH, LISTEN, UH-UH, YOU MUST BE SO ANGRY AT ME. 443 00:16:48,141 --> 00:16:50,311 I'M-I'M-I WAS THINKIN' ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY, 444 00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:52,253 AND I'M-I'M JUST TERRIBLY SORRY. 445 00:16:52,279 --> 00:16:53,649 YOU KNOW, I GET CARRIED AWAY. 446 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:56,120 I, UM-- HEY. 447 00:16:56,149 --> 00:16:58,219 I APOLOGIZE FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. 448 00:16:58,251 --> 00:17:00,151 I DON'T CARE IF YOU-- IF YOU WANNA SKATE, 449 00:17:00,187 --> 00:17:02,217 OR YOU DON'T WANNA SKATE, OR YOU CAN, OR YOU CAN'T. 450 00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:04,715 I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY, MY RICKOLA. 451 00:17:04,757 --> 00:17:07,457 I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY. 452 00:17:07,494 --> 00:17:08,764 I LIED TO YOU. 453 00:17:08,795 --> 00:17:11,325 UM, SKATING'S A LOT FOR ME. 454 00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:13,604 I WAS A REALLY GREAT SKATER, IN CANADA, 455 00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:15,103 LIKE OLYMPIC LEVEL. 456 00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:17,065 MY DAD WAS MY SKATING COACH, BUT HE WAS, UH, 457 00:17:17,104 --> 00:17:18,674 AN ANGRY, KINDA VIOLENT GUY, 458 00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:21,235 AND HE WOULD BITE ME ANY TIME I WOULD MAKE A MISTAKE. 459 00:17:21,274 --> 00:17:22,744 SO, IT'S, LIKE, REALLY TRAUMATIC 460 00:17:22,775 --> 00:17:24,275 FOR ME TO GET ON THE ICE. WHAT-WHAT? HE WOULD WHAT? 461 00:17:24,311 --> 00:17:26,781 YOUR DAD WOULD WHAT? HE'D BITE ME. 462 00:17:26,813 --> 00:17:28,823 HE WOULD BITE YOU? YEAH. 463 00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:31,248 WHERE WOULD HE BITE YOU? J-JUST ON THE ARM. 464 00:17:31,284 --> 00:17:34,224 THIS ARM? HE WOULDN'T BREAK SKIN. 465 00:17:34,254 --> 00:17:35,594 I KISSED THE BOO-BOO. 466 00:17:35,622 --> 00:17:37,462 (chuckles) 467 00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:38,560 OH, RICKY, I DIDN'T REAL-- 468 00:17:38,591 --> 00:17:40,531 THIS MUST BE TRAUMATIC FOR YOU. 469 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,260 I WAS BURYING IT. OKAY, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT. 470 00:17:42,295 --> 00:17:43,855 I HAD IT BOTTLED IN. NEVER MIND, SIR. 471 00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:45,866 LET'S, UH, LET'S GO HOME. 472 00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:47,198 COME ON. LET'S GO HOME. 473 00:17:47,234 --> 00:17:48,674 COME ON. NO. 474 00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:49,871 NO. 475 00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,572 I CAN DO THIS. 476 00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:53,414 WE CAN DO THIS, YOU AND ME. 477 00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:55,340 WE CAN? YEAH. 478 00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:58,705 EIGHT AND A HALF, MEN'S. 479 00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:01,405 (chuckles) OH, RICKY. 480 00:18:01,448 --> 00:18:02,878 YEAH. 481 00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:04,445 OH, MY GOD. 482 00:18:04,484 --> 00:18:05,894 WE'LL BE TALKIN' ABOUT THIS FOR YEARS. 483 00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:07,888 RICKY AND GIGI TAKE THE ICE. 484 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,190 I WISH YOU WOULD'VE SHAVED YOUR GOATEE, THOUGH. 485 00:18:10,223 --> 00:18:11,363 I ASKED YOU NICELY. 486 00:18:11,391 --> 00:18:12,631 I'M NOT GETTING RID OF MY GO-- DON'T MAKE ME ASK AGAIN. 487 00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:15,299 COME ON. LET'S DO THIS. I'M NOT GETTING RID OF MY GOATEE. 488 00:18:15,328 --> 00:18:16,798 COME ON. OKAY? 489 00:18:16,829 --> 00:18:18,829 (laughs) 490 00:18:24,704 --> 00:18:31,714 491 00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:11,352 (laughs) 492 00:19:13,253 --> 00:19:19,293 493 00:19:19,326 --> 00:19:21,556 NOT THE BREAST. WHAT DO YOU MEAN? TOUCH IT. 494 00:19:21,594 --> 00:19:22,764 I-I'M NOT TOUCHING YOUR BREAST. IT'S BETTER. 495 00:19:22,795 --> 00:19:23,895 IT'S BETTER. IT'S MORE DRAMATIC. 496 00:19:23,930 --> 00:19:25,830 NO. PUT YOUR HAND ON MY TIT. 497 00:19:25,865 --> 00:19:27,295 I'M NOT TOUCHING YOUR TIT. YES, YOU WILL. 498 00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:28,304 NO! 499 00:19:28,335 --> 00:19:30,695 COME BACK HERE AND PUT YOUR HAND ON MY TITS! 500 00:19:30,737 --> 00:19:32,967 YOU SON OF BITCH, YOU RUINED IT. 501 00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:36,235 IT WAS SO GOOD UP UNTIL THAT POINT. 502 00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:38,276 I THINK YOUR HAND SHOULD END UP ON MY TIT. 503 00:19:38,311 --> 00:19:39,811 I'M JUST SAYIN'. 504 00:19:41,414 --> 00:19:46,354 THE WORLD HASN'T SEEN A MORE DYNAMIC AND FLAMBOYANT PAIR 505 00:19:46,386 --> 00:19:48,416 SINCE THE LIKES OF PATRICK SWAYZE 506 00:19:48,455 --> 00:19:50,985 AND THAT SELF-HATING JEWISH GIRL. 507 00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:52,793 YOU KNOW, I MAY NEVER SKATE AGAIN, 508 00:19:52,825 --> 00:19:56,695 BUT IT WAS SO GLORIOUS TO FEEL THE RUSH OF PERFORMANCE 509 00:19:56,729 --> 00:19:58,969 AND THE THRILL OF THE SKATE. 510 00:19:58,998 --> 00:20:01,268 AND I KNOW THAT SOMEWHERE UP THERE, 511 00:20:01,301 --> 00:20:03,971 MY HAROLD IS PROUD OF ME. 512 00:20:04,003 --> 00:20:05,943 WHO KNOWS? 513 00:20:05,972 --> 00:20:07,572 MAYBE HE'S UP THERE ICE SKATING 514 00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:10,377 WITH THE LATE, GREAT NANCY KERRIGAN. 515 00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:15,845 SHE BETTER KEEP HER FILTHY PAWS OFF'A YOU, HAROLD. 516 00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:17,582 (laughs) 517 00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:20,347 YOU HEAR ME, BITCH? 518 00:20:21,654 --> 00:20:26,494 I'LL SMASH YOU WITH A PIPE, IF I HAVE TO. 519 00:20:26,526 --> 00:20:29,356 WAIT A SECOND. NANCY KERRIGAN'S ALIVE. 520 00:20:29,396 --> 00:20:31,596 521 00:20:31,631 --> 00:20:34,431 OKAY. OOH, YOU-- ARE YOU TENSE. 522 00:20:34,467 --> 00:20:37,737 MY GOODNESS. OH, YOU'RE SORE, HUH? 523 00:20:37,770 --> 00:20:39,610 WHERE ARE YOU SORE, SWEETHEART? 524 00:20:39,639 --> 00:20:41,039 UH, LOWER BACK. 525 00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:42,713 LOWER BACK, YEAH. 526 00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:44,042 YOU KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF THAT? 527 00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:45,806 YOU DO THE GLUTEUS. 528 00:20:45,845 --> 00:20:47,745 OH, YOU'RE-YOU'RE A-- YOU'RE A MAGICA-- 529 00:20:47,780 --> 00:20:49,980 YEAH, THERE YA GO. THEN, YOU GRAB IT. 530 00:20:50,016 --> 00:20:51,546 YOU GRAB IT. 531 00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:53,494 YOU SQUEEZE IT. 532 00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:55,290 YOU'RE SO SORE FROM YESTERDAY, HUH? 533 00:20:55,322 --> 00:20:57,392 YOU GAVE IT YOUR ALL, DIDN'T YA? 534 00:20:57,424 --> 00:21:00,964 NOW, DO ME A FAVOR, LOVE. TURN OVER. 535 00:21:00,993 --> 00:21:03,433 TURN OVER. I'M NOT GONNA LOOK. (groans) 536 00:21:03,463 --> 00:21:04,663 I'M SO RELAXED. 537 00:21:04,697 --> 00:21:06,967 YEAH, WELL, I'M-I'M ONE OF THE BEST. 538 00:21:06,999 --> 00:21:08,599 OKAY. 539 00:21:08,635 --> 00:21:09,895 ARE YOU COMFORTABLE? 540 00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:13,866 YEAH. 541 00:21:13,906 --> 00:21:17,576 ARE YOU, UH, ARE YOU PERFECTLY COMFORTABLE? 542 00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:19,580 YEAH. 543 00:21:23,583 --> 00:21:26,853 UM, RICKY, MMM... 544 00:21:26,886 --> 00:21:28,686 UH, CAN WE TALK? 37199

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