Original subtitles

? I HEAR THE PARTY, HEAR THE PARTY, COME ON ?

? WE SHOULD BE DANCIN', SHOULD BE ROCKING ?

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS. TV ANIMATION AND THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

AAH! AAH!

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Static: WELL, THE SHOES ARE A LITTLE LAST-SEASON.

STATIC! WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?

THEY'RE HAVIN' A WHITE SALE ON THE FIFTH FLOOR.

YOU'D THINK THE BAD GUYS WOULD KNOW ABOUT SILENT ALARMS BY NOW.

THAT'S US... SILENT BUT ALARMING.

Static: LOOK OUT! SHE'S GASSING!

SHALL WE?

WELL, THAT'S ONE DOWN...

YOU'LL LEARN NOT TO DISTURB A WOMAN

WHEN SHE'S OUT SHOPPING!

TAKIN' "SHOP TILL YOU DROP" A LITTLE TOO LITERALLY, DON'T YOU THINK?

UH-OH. GAS LEAK. HOW DO WE CONTAIN HER?

[MUFFLED YELLS]

SAY IT LOUD! WE BAD AND WE PROUD!

HUH?

YOU KNOW, I ALWAYS KNEW BEING A SUPERHERO

WOULD GIVE YOU A BIG HEAD,

BUT THAT IS RIDICULOUS!

HEY! IT'S ME!

"COMING SOON... HEROES,

A BERNIE RAST PRODUCTION"?

"STARRING STATIC"?

LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT YOUR OWN TV SHOW.

SINCE WHEN?

I JUST GOTTA DOT A COUPLE OF Is

AND CROSS SOME Ts, BABY, AND STATIC'S AS GOOD AS IN.

TELL THAT PRETTY WIFE OF YOURS I SAID HELLO.

WE'LL DO LUNCH NEXT WEEK. ALL RIGHT.

? WHATEVER YOU PERCEIVE, YOU CAN ACHIEVE ?

IS THIS SOY MILK IN HERE?

I, UM, ORDERED IT WITH SOY.

BUT YOU DIDN'T PERSONALLY WITNESS THEM

POUR THE SOY MILK INTO MY COFFEE!

WELL, I--I, UM...

TAKE THIS BACK, AND THIS TIME MAKE SURE IT'S SOY MILK!

EVEN IF IT MEANS

CLIMBING BEHIND THE COUNTER AND POURING IT YOURSELF!

GOT THAT, BRADLEY?

IT'S BRANDON? WHATEVER!

UM...M-MR. RAST, I WAS JUST WONDERING

IF YOU'D HAD A CHANCE TO READ MY SCRIPT YET?

MAYBE I'LL GET TO IT THIS WEEKEND.

WELL, UH, SEE, THE THING IS

YOU'VE BEEN SAYING THAT FOR THE PAST 5 MONTHS NOW...

LOOK, KID, THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS

GOING ON AROUND HERE RIGHT NOW!

AND ONE OF THEM HAPPENS TO BE STANDING IN THE WINDOW!

HEY, HEY,

STATIC! JUST THE MAN I WANTED TO SEE.

BRIAN, GO GET MY MAN HERE SOMETHING TO DRINK.

WATER? GO GET HIM SOME WATER.

ARE YOU MAKING A SHOW ABOUT ME?

NOT ABOUT YOU.

BABY, IT'S REALITY TV. I'VE PRODUCED SHOWS ABOUT COPS, PARAMEDICS,

POLITICIANS--YOU NAME IT--

SO WHEN IT CAME TIME TO DO A SHOW ABOUT SUPERHEROES, HA HA...

GUESS WHOSE NAME CAME UP FIRST?

BATMAN.

AH...ACTUALLY, SUPERMAN,

BUT YOU WERE RIGHT UP THERE.

PEOPLE DIG YOU. YOU'VE GOT FANS ALL ACROSS THE COUNTRY

WONDERING JUST WHAT IS IT THAT MAKES YOU TICK, AND WE'RE GONNA SHOW 'EM.

SO YOU START BY PUTTING UP ADS

BEFORE I EVEN AGREE TO ANYTHING?

HEY, THAT'S JUST THE WAY THE BUSINESS WORKS.

YOU GOTTA GENERATE A LITTLE HEAT, BABY,

A LITTLE EL-EC-TRIC-I-TAY!

OW.

SORRY, MR. RAST. IT'S NOT FOR ME.

OF COURSE NOT. IT'S FOR THEM--

THE STREET KIDS, THE KIDS WITH NO FUTURE.

THEY NEED HOPE, A ROLE MODEL,

SOMEONE LIKE YOU.

EVEN IF THE SHOW HELPED ONE OF THEM, JUST ONE,

WOULDN'T IT BE WORTH IT?

AND ALL YOU WANNA DO IS FOLLOW ME AROUND WITH YOUR CAMERAS.

YOU WON'T EVEN KNOW WE'RE THERE.

I'M BORED.

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LOOK BORED.

YEAH, BUT FOR HOW LONG?

RAST IS PAYING US 10 BUCKS AN HOUR. WHO CARES?

AND BERNIE SAYS WE'LL HARDLY EVEN NOTICE THEY'RE THERE.

THEY'RE NOT BRINGING THEIR CAMERAS IN HERE, ARE THEY?

OH, YEAH. THEY'RE GONNA FILM EVERYTHING WE DO--

EVEN WHEN WE GO IN THE BATHROOM.

OF COURSE NOT! JUST ON PATROL.

OK. I'M UP FOR IT.

AFTER ALL, MY MOM SAID I TOOK THE BEST YEARBOOK PICTURE.

YEAH. AND HOW HARD CAN IT BE?

IT'S JUST US DOING WHAT WE DO EVERY DAY, RIGHT?

? PRECIOUS AS STONES ?

? WORDS CAN HIT HOME... ?

[BACKGROUND CHATTER]

I NEED SOME DREADSHEEN, STAT!

YOU'RE IN MY LIGHT! THAT'S IT.

GIVE ME HEROIC. YEAH, THAT'S IT!

MORE ICED TEA?

LOVE SOME.

I LOVE YOUR MASK.

IT REALLY SETS OFF YOUR EYES.

THANK YOU. I DESIGNED IT MYSELF.

OH, BROTHER. EVERYONE THINKS THEY'RE A STAR.

WHAT'S ALL THIS?

THIS HERE'S YOUR OPTIC CAMERA

AND THAT GUY THERE'S THE MICROPHONE.

THEY'RE POWERED BY THIS TRANSMISSION BOX.

MAKE SURE THIS GUY'S ON ALL THE TIME.

THAT TOO MUCH FOR YOU, FLYBOY?

NO PROBLEM.

HEY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

THE CO-STAR OF THIS SHOW!

SAVE IT. WHAT'S WRONG?

THE STUDIO GUARDS WOULDN'T LET ME THROUGH.

THEY THOUGHT I WAS A DELIVERY BOY.

CHILL OUT, MAN. YOU'RE HERE NOW.

HAVE SOME ICED TEA.

WE WERE SUPPOSED TO HAVE STARTED PATROL AN HOUR AGO.

HEY, HEY, HEY!

READY TO MAKE SOME MAGIC?

YOU MUST BE THE SIDEKICK.

THE PARTNER.

UH-HUH. IT'S ABOUT TIME YOU GOT HERE.

JUST REMBER, TRY NOT TO GET BETWEEN STATIC AND THE CAMERAS, OK?

I THOUGHT WE WOULDN'T EVEN NOTICE THE CAMERAS.

RAST HERE. START THE HELICOPTERS!

Both: HELICOPTERS?

IT'S SHOW TIME, BOYS!

IT'S LIKE GOING ON PATROL WITH THE AIR FORCE!

WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF DAYLIGHT, BOYS.

THERE'S GOTTA BE SOME TROUBLE DOWN THERE. FIND IT.

I THINK I SEE SOMEONE JAYWALKING.

[BEEP BEEP] WAIT!

BACKPACK'S PICKING UP A POLICE METAHUMAN ALERT.

IT'S ABOUT TIME!

OVER THERE.

Static: WHO'S THAT?

NEVER SEEN HIM BEFORE.

WELL, LET'S GO GET ACQUAINTED.

I HATE TO TELL YOU THIS, WHOEVER YOU ARE,

BUT BANK HOURS ARE FROM 9:00 TO 5:00.

YOU HEAR THAT? WHO NEEDS WRITERS?

YOU CAN CALL ME STARBURST,

AND AS FOR BANKING HOURS, I JUST EXTENDED THEM.

I'M AFRAID I'LL HAVE TO CHARGE YOU FOR THAT.

[EVIL LAUGH]

WE'LL SEE HOW FUNNY YOU THINK THIS IS.

? LITTLE BY LITTLE, GONNA TAKE YOU DOWN ?

? TAKE YOU DOWN ?

HE'S GOT POWERS JUST LIKE YOURS!

? STEP BY STEP, GONNA TEAR YOU DOWN ?

? GONNA TEAR YOU DOWN ?

HA HA HA HA HA!

I'VE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE.

HAAAAH!

IF I WERE CUTTING THE SHOW RIGHT NOW,

THIS WOULD BE THE PERFECT TIME FOR A COMMERCIAL BREAK.

GOT ANY IDEAS HOW TO TAKE CARE OF THIS ONE?

I THOUGHT YOU WERE

Rast: COME ON, STATIC. DO SOMETHING!

WE'RE NOT SHOOTING A TALK SHOW.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

GOTTA GIVE THE PUBLIC WHAT IT WANTS.

ANYWAY, WE BOTH HAVE THE SAME POWERS.

HOW MUCH HARM CAN HE DO TO ME?

LET'S SEE WHAT YOU GOT, GOLDIE.

HA HA! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT!

SMILE FOR THE CAMERAS.

[GRUNTS] UHH!

AAH!

STATIC!

YOU OK, MAN?

OH...CUT!

SO WE DIDN'T GET THE SCENE. SO YOU WERE A LITTLE OFF TODAY--IT HAPPENS.

THE IMPORTANT THING IS NEXT TIME YOU'LL BE READY FOR THIS GUY, RIGHT?

YOU GOT THAT RIGHT!

IF HE SHOWS UP AGAIN.

HE'D BETTER SHOW UP AGAIN, BECAUSE RIGHT NOW

THE SHOW ENDS WITH OUR BIG STAR

CRAWLING OUT OF A PILE OF TRASH,

AND SOMEHOW, I DON'T THINK THAT'S A RATINGS GRABBER, DO YOU?!

DANG!

HEY, MAN, RELAX.

I CAN'T GET OVER HOW STRONG THAT STARBURST GUY WAS!

EVERY TIME I AMPED UP MY POWER, HE DID ME ONE BETTER.

IF WE'D PUT OUR HEADS TOGETHER,

I'M SURE WE WOULD HAVE COME UP WITH SOMETHING.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE GONE AFTER HIM LIKE THAT.

WELL, SOMEONE HAD TO

THAT SOMEONE DIDN'T HAVE TO DO IT ALL BY MYSELF

JUST TO SHOW OFF FOR THE CAMERAS!

OH, I GET IT. YOU'RE JEALOUS 'CAUSE THE SHOW'S ABOUT ME.

I COULD CARE LESS ABOUT THE SHOW.

I WISH I WAS NEVER EVEN PART OF IT.

NO ONE'S MAKING YOU.

I WAS A SOLO ACT WAY BEFORE YOU CAME ALONG.

WELL, IF THAT'S HOW YOU FEEL,

MAYBE I SHOULDN'T BE INVOLVED.

TELL RAST I QUIT.

THE SIDEKICK'S LATE AGAIN, HUH?

I...DON'T THINK HE'S COMING.

ALL THE BETTER. I WAS GONNA CUT AROUND HIM ANYWAY.

SO, YOU READY TO TAKE ON STARBURST?

I GUESS SO.

COME ON, KID! WE NEED A BIG PERFORMANCE FROM YOU.

THE SHOW, AS THEY SAY, MUST GO ON!

[EXPLOSION]

THAT'S GOTTA BE HIM.

[SCREAMING]

AAH! NO!

OH, NO!

MOVIN' UP FROM ATMs, HUH?

AAH! NOT YOU AGAIN!

AW, COME ON, GOLDIE. IS THAT ALL THE WELCOME I GET?

I'M STARTING TO FEEL LIKE YOU DON'T VALUE OUR TIME TOGETHER.

THEN AGAIN, MAYBE I'M WRONG.

STAY ON HIM!

WHOO! THIS IS BETTER THAN A FREEWAY CHASE!

? LITTLE BY LITTLE, GONNA TAKE YOU DOWN ?

? GONNA SHAKE YOU DOWN ?

? STEP BY STEP, GONNA WEAR YOU OUT ?

? GONNA TEAR YOU OUT ?

AAH! AAH!

? LITTLE BY LITTLE, GONNA TAKE YOU DOWN ?

? GONNA SHAKE YOU DOWN ?

? BOW DOWN, DOWNTOWN ?

? BOW DOWN, DOWNTOWN ?

? BOW DOWN, DOWNTOWN ?

? BOW DOWN, DOWNTOWN ?

? LITTLE BY LITTLE BY LITTLE ?

? LITTLE BY LITTLE ?

A LITTLE BOOST OUGHTA DO IT.

AAH! AAH!

WE HAVE A SHOW! WE HAVE A SHOW!

WHAT?!

SO, YOU WANT SOME MORE, HUH?

HUH?

[POWER AMPING UP]

[GROANING]

UHH...AHH!

AAH! AAH!

? TO BE THE BEST I CAN BE ?

? TELL A KID PRIDE HITS ZERO ?

? THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A HERO ?

Announcer: HEROES...

NEXT WEEK!

STATIC! [ECHO] Static...static!

I NEVER IMAGINED STATIC BEING ON A SHOW LIKE THAT.

SO YOU'RE NOT GONNA WATCH?

ARE YOU KIDDING? I'M ALL OVER IT!

[DOORBELL RINGS]

UH...DON'T GET UP. I'LL GET IT.

HEY, MR. H. IS VIRGIL HOME?

YEAH, HE'S UP IN HIS ROOM.

MM. BE CAREFUL UP THERE.

HOMEBOY'S READY TO TEAR SOMEBODY'S HEAD OFF...

AND EAT IT!

? WHATEVER YOU DEMAND ?

? NEVER IN YOUR WAY, BY YOU I MUST STAY ?

? DOESN'T MATTER THE HOUR OR THE TIME OF DAY ?

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

GO AWAY, SHARON. I'M NOT HUNGRY!

THAT'S NOT WHAT THEY TOLD ME DOWNSTAIRS.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

HEY, MAN, I JUST WANTED TO STOP BY

AND SAY I'M SORRY.

[SIGHS] YEAH...

I'M SORRY, TOO.

YOU WERE RIGHT. I WAS A LITTLE JEALOUS.

OK, I WAS A WHOLE LOT JEALOUS,

BUT I SHOULDN'T HAVE LET IT COME BETWEEN US.

YOU? I WAS THE ONE ACTING THE FOOL FOR THE CAMERAS.

YOU WERE RIGHT.

I GUESS WE WERE BOTH RIGHT...

OR WRONG OR...WHATEVER.

STUPID ME THOUGHT THAT HIGH TENSION WIRES WOULD GIVE ME AN EDGE.

THAT'S NOT STUPID. IT SHOULD HAVE WORKED!

STARBURST SHOULD HAVE BEEN STARBUSTED!

NOTHING WORKS.

WHATEVER I THROW AT HIM, HE THROWS BACK, BUT STRONGER.

IT'S ALMOST AS THOUGH HE'S FEEDING OFF ME.

HEY...MAYBE HE'S NOT A METAHUMAN.

PINKY, ARE YOU THINKING WHAT I'M THINKING?

I CAN'T BELIEVE I GOTTA DO ALL THIS STUPID STUFF MYSELF.

Static: COME ON!

RIGHT HERE, I'M DOIN' FINE.

BUT HERE, HE'S KICKIN' MY BUTT!

YEAH...I DIDN'T WANNA SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THAT.

WAIT! FREEZE THAT.

[CLICK]

THE WIRES! THAT'S GOTTA BE WHERE HE'S GETTING YOUR POWERS FROM.

BUT HOW ARE THEY BEING TRANSMITTED FROM YOU TO HIM?

I HAVE A PRETTY GOOD IDEA.

HEY...

HAVE I EVER LIED TO THE NETWORK?

I'M TELLING YOU, THIS STATIC STUFF IS GREAT!

STUPENDOUS!

AS SOON AS I PUT IT TOGETHER, I'LL SCREEN IT FOR YOU...

AND THEN MAKE ROOM ON THE SHELF FOR A FEW MORE AWARDS.

THIS STUFF IS THE BOMB! AH! YEAH!

[SIGHS] AH...

IT'S A BOMB, ALL RIGHT. A STINK BOMB!

GET THE RUBBER BAND MAN ON THE PHONE!

THINKING OF REPLACING ME?

NO. THINKING OF CHANGING THE NAME OF THE SHOW FROM

I PUT MY REPUTATION ON THE LINE, BUDDY.

I PROMISED A SUPERHERO REALITY SHOW,

AND ALL I'VE GOT IS FOOTAGE OF A SUPER-SIZED BUTT-KICKING!

LISTEN UP!

I KNOW HOW TO BRING DOWN STARBURST,

BUT TO DO IT, YOU HAVE TO FILM ME ONE MORE TIME.

WHADDAYA SAY? YOU WANT A SHOW OR DON'T YOU?

OK. YOU GOT ONE MORE SHOT, KID.

AND THIS TIME, YOU BETTER DELIVER.

SEE YOU ON THE SET.

Rast: YOU SURE HE'S GONNA SHOW UP?

I'M SURE. IF I'M UP HERE MAKING A SHOW,

HE'S DOWN THERE MAKING TROUBLE.

BETTER CLOSE THAT. WE'LL BE AT THE MUSEUM BEFORE YOU KNOW IT.

WHAT IN THE WORLD--

AAH! AAH!

? IT'S MY TURN, IT'S MY TURN... ?

[TRAIN HORN HONKS]

OH! OH!

? IT'S MY TIME, IT'S YOUR TIME... ?

WHAT--HEY!

SORRY, SUNSHINE, BUT I'M PRETTY SURE THESE DON'T BELONG TO YOU.

YOU CAN'T RUN FROM ME, STATIC.

I'LL ALWAYS BE FASTER. I'LL ALWAYS BE STRONGER.

WHO'S RUNNING? I JUST WANTED TO TAKE IT SOMEPLACE

WHERE THEY COULD SHOOT MY GOOD SIDE.

STAY ON IT!

SO YOU ENJOY PUBLIC HUMILIATION.

NOT THIS TIME.

I'VE GOT YOU FIGURED OUT.

WHEN I REALIZED YOU WERE GETTING YOUR POWERS FROM ME,

I HAD GEAR CHECK THIS.

TURNS OUT THIS IS HOW MY POWERS

ARE BEING TRANSMITTED-- BUT NOT ANYMORE!

LOOKS LIKE YOUR SHOW'S CANCELLED.

[GROWLING

WHY'S HE LOOKIN' AT THE CAMERA?

NOT...AGAIN! AAH!

? STEP BACK, STEP BACK ?

? SHOWDOWN, TIME'S UP ?

? SHOWDOWN, TIME'S UP ?

YOU...

THAT'S A WRAP.

NICELY DONE, PARTNER.

WELL, I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT BY MYSELF.

FIRST...GET ME A SHOT OF THE HEROES.

OK. NOW GET IN THERE TIGHT ON THE VILLAIN.

YEAH. SMILE, PAL.

BRADLEY!

IT'S BRANDON!

BRANDON, YOU JERK!

YOU CAN'T EVEN GET MY NAME RIGHT ON CAMERA!

BUT WHY?

I NEED MONEY TO PRODUCE MY SCREENPLAY,

WHICH YOU NEVER EVEN BOTHERED TO READ.

THANKS A LOT. IF ONLY YOU HAD

JUST PAID ME EVEN THE SLIGHTEST AMOUNT OF ATTENTION,

I-- [CELL PHONE RINGS]

YALLO?

NO KIDDING?

WELL, HAS THE NETWORK SEEN THE RATINGS?

NO, NO, NO. YOU TELL THEM I EXPECT 26 MORE EPISODES

OR I'M WALKIN'. DO YOU HEAR ME?

BERNIE RAFT IS WALKIN'!

AND I PUT REAL MILK IN YOUR COFFEE EVERY TIME!

DO YOU HEAR THAT? WHOLE MILK!

? ARE YOU READY?, HEY-EH ?

? OH ?

SO I READ IN THE PAPER THAT STARBURST

WAS A BRILLIANT PHYSICS STUDENT

WHO GOT BIT BY THE HOLLYWOOD BUG.

HEY, LOOK! "SEE DAKOTA'S HOTTEST CRIME-FIGHTING DUO.

STATIC AND GEAR, ONLY ON HEROES."

IT'S STRANGE HOW DREAMS OF STARDOM CAN CHANGE A PERSON.

YEAH. IT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN TO US, THOUGH.

NOT A CHANCE!

DOES YOUR NAME LOOK BIGGER THAN MINE?

OF COURSE!

HA HA HA! HA HA HA!

? YES, I AM READY ?

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS. TV ANIMATION AND THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--

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