Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:20,180 --> 00:00:22,820
- So, I'm a staff writer
for a women's magazine.
2
00:00:22,850 --> 00:00:24,780
I know what you're thinking.
3
00:00:24,810 --> 00:00:27,280
Not that kind of women's magazine.
4
00:00:27,310 --> 00:00:29,110
We don't give life hacks on house cleaning
5
00:00:29,140 --> 00:00:31,540
and we don't rank seasonal lip shades.
6
00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:34,420
I'm working on a personal essay
on my circle of girlfriends.
7
00:00:34,450 --> 00:00:36,528
There's five of us and we
couldn't be more different.
8
00:00:36,558 --> 00:00:39,790
Our dating profiles would
be quite interesting.
9
00:00:39,820 --> 00:00:40,960
Loren Atwood.
10
00:00:40,990 --> 00:00:42,170
A real girl's girl.
11
00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:43,490
Age: 25
12
00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:46,360
Career: Staff writer
for Boss Bitch Magazine.
13
00:00:46,390 --> 00:00:48,610
Motto: Yes we still can!
14
00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:51,040
Favorite movie: Thelma and Louise.
15
00:00:51,070 --> 00:00:53,610
When shit gets tough, Loren
believes in a combination
16
00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:56,800
of mindfulness, meditation,
and creative teamwork.
17
00:00:56,830 --> 00:00:57,714
Relationship status.
18
00:00:57,744 --> 00:00:58,547
Where are you going?
19
00:00:58,577 --> 00:01:00,673
- I have to go back to school.
20
00:01:01,300 --> 00:01:02,103
- No.
21
00:01:02,133 --> 00:01:02,936
- It's okay.
22
00:01:02,966 --> 00:01:06,480
- Healthy and committed three
year relationship with Bo.
23
00:01:06,510 --> 00:01:08,822
He's currently teaching English.
24
00:01:08,852 --> 00:01:10,155
To orphans.
25
00:01:10,185 --> 00:01:12,088
In Bulgaria.
26
00:01:12,118 --> 00:01:13,160
Yes.
27
00:01:13,190 --> 00:01:15,073
These guys do exist!
28
00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:17,660
Oh and Frankie said to tell
you that's what you get
29
00:01:17,690 --> 00:01:20,440
for auto-drafting your
fantasy league from Bulgaria.
30
00:01:20,470 --> 00:01:21,850
I love the shit out of you.
31
00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:23,150
Then there's Frankie.
32
00:01:23,180 --> 00:01:24,210
Frankie Giffin.
33
00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:25,398
Age: 27.
34
00:01:25,428 --> 00:01:28,300
Career: Software development.
35
00:01:28,330 --> 00:01:29,133
Motto.
36
00:01:29,163 --> 00:01:33,507
- Blood sugar 103, fucking killing it.
37
00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:35,170
- Frankie.
38
00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:36,533
Motto?
39
00:01:37,292 --> 00:01:39,990
- Choose sarcasm, because
beating the shit out of people
40
00:01:40,020 --> 00:01:40,823
is illegal.
41
00:01:40,853 --> 00:01:42,920
Favorite movie: The Sandlot.
42
00:01:42,950 --> 00:01:46,570
Believes that a gnome sneaks
into her room every night
43
00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:47,920
and steals socks and panties.
44
00:01:47,950 --> 00:01:49,430
- Seriously, where do they go?
45
00:01:49,460 --> 00:01:51,660
Relationship status: Single.
46
00:01:51,690 --> 00:01:55,089
Though she rarely swipes
right, when she does,
47
00:01:55,119 --> 00:01:57,563
you're in for a good time.
48
00:02:00,340 --> 00:02:02,000
And Stacy Beals.
49
00:02:02,030 --> 00:02:03,120
Age: 24.
50
00:02:03,150 --> 00:02:05,510
Career: Hair and Makeup Artist.
51
00:02:05,540 --> 00:02:06,343
Motto.
52
00:02:06,373 --> 00:02:07,790
- I read it on Reddit.
53
00:02:07,820 --> 00:02:10,240
I mean, it's probably true.
54
00:02:10,270 --> 00:02:12,380
Favorite movie: Hmm.
55
00:02:12,410 --> 00:02:13,743
Hold please.
56
00:02:15,020 --> 00:02:15,823
- Hey, Lo.
57
00:02:15,853 --> 00:02:17,070
- Stace, what's
your favorite movie?
58
00:02:17,100 --> 00:02:18,060
- Favorite movie?
59
00:02:18,090 --> 00:02:19,460
- Yeah, it's Clueless, right?
60
00:02:19,490 --> 00:02:20,293
- You're right.
61
00:02:20,323 --> 00:02:21,260
- You do know that Stacy Dash
62
00:02:21,290 --> 00:02:22,880
wanted to eliminate black
history month, right?
63
00:02:22,910 --> 00:02:24,364
- I'm sorry what?
64
00:02:24,394 --> 00:02:26,957
Stacey Dash wanted to
eliminate black history month.
65
00:02:26,987 --> 00:02:27,790
- Mm-hm.
66
00:02:27,820 --> 00:02:29,435
- How did I miss that?
67
00:02:29,465 --> 00:02:30,910
Unacceptable.
68
00:02:30,940 --> 00:02:31,743
- I know right.
69
00:02:31,773 --> 00:02:33,090
- As if!
70
00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:35,490
Okay, new movie, Crooklyn.
71
00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:36,828
So many life lessons.
72
00:02:36,858 --> 00:02:37,661
- Got it.
73
00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:39,070
- Final answer, Crooklyn.
74
00:02:39,100 --> 00:02:40,980
Favorite movie: Crooklyn.
75
00:02:41,010 --> 00:02:43,860
Comforted by: The Kardashians.
76
00:02:43,890 --> 00:02:48,043
Relationship status: Openly
gay and ready to slay.
77
00:02:48,630 --> 00:02:49,910
Jillian Olsen.
78
00:02:49,940 --> 00:02:51,470
Age: 27.
79
00:02:51,500 --> 00:02:54,450
Career: Former child star
turned real housewife
80
00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:55,753
of West Nashville.
81
00:02:55,783 --> 00:02:56,586
Motto.
82
00:02:56,616 --> 00:02:57,419
- Family first.
83
00:02:57,449 --> 00:02:59,750
And yes, you can choose your family.
84
00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:02,370
Favorite movie: Steel Magnolias
85
00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:05,400
Comforted by: Her five dogs.
86
00:03:05,430 --> 00:03:07,210
Yes, they're rescues.
87
00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:10,550
And when shit gets tough,
Jillian bakes cookies.
88
00:03:10,580 --> 00:03:13,170
Relationship status:
Married to country music
89
00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:15,461
superstar Michael Ray Black.
90
00:03:15,491 --> 00:03:19,074
? Find nobody around ?
91
00:03:21,950 --> 00:03:23,080
- Melissa Ruthers.
92
00:03:23,110 --> 00:03:24,440
HBIC, girls.
93
00:03:24,470 --> 00:03:27,030
She is the definition of a career girl.
94
00:03:27,060 --> 00:03:28,410
Age:35.
95
00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:30,760
Career: Owns multiple commercial
real estate properties.
96
00:03:30,790 --> 00:03:31,940
- Can you hold on a second?
97
00:03:31,970 --> 00:03:32,870
- Motto.
98
00:03:32,900 --> 00:03:35,350
- Work hard, play hard.
99
00:03:35,380 --> 00:03:37,830
- Favorite movie:
The Devil Wears Prada.
100
00:03:37,860 --> 00:03:40,960
Comforted by: Every other
Thursday night, girls' night in.
101
00:03:40,990 --> 00:03:44,460
And when shit gets tough,
Melissa never says why me?
102
00:03:44,490 --> 00:03:46,400
She says, "Try Me."
103
00:03:46,430 --> 00:03:47,880
- Amanda, you need to go take care of it
104
00:03:47,910 --> 00:03:49,873
and then don't call me again.
105
00:03:53,425 --> 00:03:56,510
- I swiped right, and I sent
him home with leftover pizza.
106
00:03:56,540 --> 00:04:00,170
It's like the least you could
do is toss your shit, Todd.
107
00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:02,480
- Did you see the picture
of Michael in Seen?
108
00:04:02,510 --> 00:04:04,790
He was with some ginger
chick in L.A. last weekend.
109
00:04:04,820 --> 00:04:06,290
- His publicist is a redhead.
110
00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:08,330
Don't say ginger, it's racist.
111
00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:09,480
- I can't be racist.
112
00:04:09,510 --> 00:04:11,123
I have black friends.
113
00:04:11,478 --> 00:04:14,303
- It's like racist towards white people.
114
00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:15,990
- That's not a thing.
115
00:04:16,020 --> 00:04:17,530
- It's reverse racism.
116
00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:19,875
- Which means it's not racism.
117
00:04:19,905 --> 00:04:21,880
- Why are we having this argument?
118
00:04:21,910 --> 00:04:23,160
- Because you refuse to talk about
119
00:04:23,190 --> 00:04:24,930
what's really going on here.
120
00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,000
What is up with Jill and Michael?
121
00:04:27,030 --> 00:04:28,150
We have to get this out of Jill.
122
00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:29,520
She can't keep that stuff bottled up.
123
00:04:29,550 --> 00:04:32,360
- Okay, tabloids lie, Stace,
and Jillian's private.
124
00:04:32,390 --> 00:04:34,060
Just let her be.
125
00:04:34,090 --> 00:04:37,100
- If you don't talk about your
problems, they'll kill you.
126
00:04:37,130 --> 00:04:38,503
I saw it on Dr. Oz.
127
00:04:38,533 --> 00:04:40,958
They will literally sit in your stomach
128
00:04:40,988 --> 00:04:42,487
and turn into cancer.
129
00:04:42,517 --> 00:04:44,380
- You don't think you're exaggerating
130
00:04:44,410 --> 00:04:45,949
just like a little bit?
131
00:04:45,979 --> 00:04:48,149
- No.
132
00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:50,750
- Yo, Mel.
133
00:04:50,780 --> 00:04:52,840
- It's Thursday, and what
do we not do on Thursdays?
134
00:04:52,870 --> 00:04:54,720
That's right, real estate.
135
00:04:54,750 --> 00:04:56,120
- Mel.
136
00:04:56,150 --> 00:04:57,270
- Hey friends.
137
00:04:57,300 --> 00:04:58,103
- Hey.
138
00:04:58,133 --> 00:04:58,936
- How's it going?
139
00:04:58,966 --> 00:04:59,769
- Good.
140
00:04:59,799 --> 00:05:00,850
- Where's Mel?
141
00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:02,470
- From the sounds of it she's getting
142
00:05:02,500 --> 00:05:04,860
pretty riled up at Amanda.
143
00:05:04,890 --> 00:05:08,070
Also, who is Amanda and why is she causing
144
00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:10,298
so much drama in my life right now?
145
00:05:10,328 --> 00:05:12,273
- You're so right.
146
00:05:12,303 --> 00:05:14,250
Your life is so crazy.
147
00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:17,157
How do you do it day after day?
148
00:05:18,770 --> 00:05:20,153
- Shut up.
149
00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:22,313
- Well shit, guess we could have done that
150
00:05:22,343 --> 00:05:24,180
like 20 minutes ago.
151
00:05:24,210 --> 00:05:26,720
- Amanda, you are being
so annoying right now.
152
00:05:26,750 --> 00:05:28,705
I don't wanna be hearing your voice.
153
00:05:28,735 --> 00:05:30,450
- How could you be
so annoyed with me when--
154
00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:33,010
- I know but we do this
every other Thursday.
155
00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:34,140
Not after 5 p.m.
156
00:05:34,170 --> 00:05:35,420
You know this.
157
00:05:35,450 --> 00:05:37,240
Why are we even having this conversation?
158
00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:39,356
- Because the
language in the contract,
159
00:05:39,386 --> 00:05:40,189
it needs--
160
00:05:40,219 --> 00:05:42,180
- So fix it, that's your job, to fix it.
161
00:05:42,210 --> 00:05:43,490
- Bobby already left Melissa.
162
00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:44,953
- Okay then call him back.
163
00:05:44,983 --> 00:05:47,214
We talked about this like
four times already Amanda.
164
00:05:47,244 --> 00:05:48,720
Do you know what redundant means?
165
00:05:48,750 --> 00:05:49,553
- Do you know what bitch means?
166
00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:50,430
- Is this suspenders?
167
00:05:50,460 --> 00:05:53,113
- No it's a waist trainer,
that's gotta stay on.
168
00:05:53,143 --> 00:05:54,367
- Get off the phone.
169
00:05:54,397 --> 00:05:55,200
- I'm sorry.
170
00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:57,560
You know what, Amanda, I'm going
through a tunnel right now.
171
00:05:57,590 --> 00:05:59,863
I'm losing you, I'm losing you.
172
00:06:00,770 --> 00:06:01,573
Sorry girls.
173
00:06:01,603 --> 00:06:02,710
- Hey ladies.
174
00:06:02,740 --> 00:06:04,390
- Hey.
175
00:06:04,420 --> 00:06:05,610
- Who the hell is this?
176
00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:06,790
- Oh that's her sister.
177
00:06:06,820 --> 00:06:07,623
Her merch didn't sell.
178
00:06:07,653 --> 00:06:09,870
- It's terrible artwork so I got them all.
179
00:06:09,900 --> 00:06:11,130
- Way to support.
180
00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:12,493
- I know right.
181
00:06:14,170 --> 00:06:16,490
- Jillian, sweetheart,
I don't invite you over
182
00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:17,830
so that you'll clean.
183
00:06:17,860 --> 00:06:19,743
But I mean if you insist.
184
00:06:20,780 --> 00:06:21,970
- Okay, Mel, I told you.
185
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:23,830
These things are not biodegradable.
186
00:06:23,860 --> 00:06:25,700
- Yeah but they make
your bun look really big.
187
00:06:25,730 --> 00:06:26,533
- Mel.
188
00:06:26,563 --> 00:06:27,366
- Yeah?
189
00:06:27,396 --> 00:06:28,670
- How do your pants still smell so good
190
00:06:28,700 --> 00:06:30,400
at the end of the day?
191
00:06:30,430 --> 00:06:31,840
- It's my pheromones.
192
00:06:31,870 --> 00:06:34,290
I had them adjusted to
smell like Chanel No. 5.
193
00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:35,123
- Really?
194
00:06:35,153 --> 00:06:36,486
- Yeah.
195
00:06:37,110 --> 00:06:38,000
No!
196
00:06:38,030 --> 00:06:39,310
I'm not that rich!
197
00:06:39,340 --> 00:06:40,520
That's the pizzas.
198
00:06:40,550 --> 00:06:42,070
- Okay but Mel, I'm not kidding.
199
00:06:42,100 --> 00:06:43,800
You know that thing in Texas,
200
00:06:43,830 --> 00:06:47,550
it's littered with these
and straws and panty liners.
201
00:06:47,580 --> 00:06:49,580
- Yeah it's the size of Texas.
202
00:06:51,110 --> 00:06:52,863
In the ocean?
203
00:06:52,893 --> 00:06:53,900
Yeah.
204
00:06:53,930 --> 00:06:55,236
I know what you're talking about.
205
00:06:55,266 --> 00:06:58,010
- I dunno, whatever, the reef is dying.
206
00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:01,053
- Okay girls, I have pizza.
207
00:07:02,090 --> 00:07:03,270
Okay, I just got one for each of you,
208
00:07:03,300 --> 00:07:05,350
or you can share, I don't care.
209
00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:08,790
Okay veggie, no onions, for you doll.
210
00:07:08,820 --> 00:07:11,780
We have gluten free, dairy free.
211
00:07:11,810 --> 00:07:14,193
No, this is going in the trash can.
212
00:07:14,223 --> 00:07:16,110
Okay okay okay fine.
213
00:07:16,140 --> 00:07:17,290
Canadian bacon with pineapple.
214
00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:18,467
- That's my one.
215
00:07:18,497 --> 00:07:20,780
- And for you, my little meat lover.
216
00:07:20,810 --> 00:07:22,490
Meat supreme, all the meats.
217
00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:23,853
- All the meats.
218
00:07:24,874 --> 00:07:26,634
Do you have any beer?
219
00:07:26,664 --> 00:07:28,980
- I am so sorry boo I
forgot to pick it up.
220
00:07:29,010 --> 00:07:29,940
- Oh no Mic Ultras?
221
00:07:29,970 --> 00:07:30,773
- No.
222
00:07:30,803 --> 00:07:31,640
- No trash beer even?
223
00:07:31,670 --> 00:07:32,473
- No.
224
00:07:32,503 --> 00:07:33,466
- B double L?
225
00:07:33,496 --> 00:07:34,299
- No.
226
00:07:34,329 --> 00:07:35,260
I hate beer.
227
00:07:35,290 --> 00:07:36,093
I'm sorry.
228
00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:37,970
- I don't wanna drink
wine, it makes my eyes cry.
229
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:38,940
- Oh.
230
00:07:38,970 --> 00:07:41,074
- Okay well don't worry,
we're not gonna drink wine,
231
00:07:41,104 --> 00:07:42,620
we're drinking tequila.
232
00:07:42,650 --> 00:07:44,200
- Yes, you are a goddess.
233
00:07:44,230 --> 00:07:46,913
- You know what ladies, it's a Monet.
234
00:07:48,210 --> 00:07:49,485
Hashtag poor choices Thursdays.
235
00:07:49,515 --> 00:07:51,271
Get over here doll.
236
00:07:51,301 --> 00:07:53,841
- Okay, I got the tequila.
237
00:07:53,871 --> 00:07:57,121
- Hashtag poor choices thursdays.
238
00:08:00,481 --> 00:08:02,708
- Oh my gosh, okay here we go.
239
00:08:02,738 --> 00:08:03,541
- Yay!
240
00:08:03,571 --> 00:08:05,220
- Yeah they sponsored Michael's last tour.
241
00:08:05,250 --> 00:08:06,330
- Ooh.
242
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:07,370
- Whoa.
243
00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:09,257
- I am okay with this.
244
00:08:09,287 --> 00:08:10,500
- How many inches?
245
00:08:10,530 --> 00:08:12,630
How many inches do you want?
246
00:08:12,660 --> 00:08:14,523
- Let me start, let me start small.
247
00:08:14,553 --> 00:08:16,040
- Okay, okay.
248
00:08:16,070 --> 00:08:18,390
- So, what are we watching?
249
00:08:18,420 --> 00:08:19,660
- Oh, oh.
250
00:08:19,690 --> 00:08:22,450
Okay I say...
251
00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:23,910
- Bridget Jones Diary.
252
00:08:23,940 --> 00:08:26,283
- You always wanna watch that.
253
00:08:26,313 --> 00:08:28,730
- Well first of all,
she's my spirit animal.
254
00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:30,500
Second of all, you always wanna watch
255
00:08:30,530 --> 00:08:32,427
Abby the Adolescent Witch,
256
00:08:32,457 --> 00:08:35,475
especially when Jillian's not here.
257
00:08:35,505 --> 00:08:36,990
- She's not supposed to know that.
258
00:08:37,020 --> 00:08:38,400
Thank you very much.
259
00:08:38,430 --> 00:08:39,509
- Guys, seriously?
260
00:08:39,539 --> 00:08:40,342
- Okay hold on, hold on.
261
00:08:40,372 --> 00:08:42,577
You might always be Abby
to the rest of America,
262
00:08:42,607 --> 00:08:45,157
but to us you're just Jillian.
263
00:08:45,187 --> 00:08:46,700
- I'll drink to that.
264
00:08:46,730 --> 00:08:48,910
To Jillian, who bakes us cookies,
265
00:08:48,940 --> 00:08:50,415
and not to Abby.
266
00:08:50,445 --> 00:08:52,995
To Jillian!
- Not to Abby.
267
00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,330
- Jill, I've got a question for you.
268
00:08:56,360 --> 00:08:57,163
- Yeah?
269
00:08:57,193 --> 00:09:00,350
- Would you rather, watch
a year long marathon
270
00:09:00,380 --> 00:09:02,214
of Abby the Adolescent Witch,
271
00:09:02,244 --> 00:09:07,333
or star in a season of The
Real Housewives of Nashville?
272
00:09:07,730 --> 00:09:09,290
- Absolutely hands down I would rather
273
00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:11,780
watch myself grow up on TV than expose
274
00:09:11,810 --> 00:09:12,987
my private life on air.
275
00:09:13,017 --> 00:09:14,350
- Praise.
276
00:09:14,690 --> 00:09:16,890
- You wouldn't fit in
on those shows, anyway.
277
00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:19,767
- You're just not bitchy enough, babe.
278
00:09:20,372 --> 00:09:22,870
- Oh guys, I have a serious one, okay?
279
00:09:22,900 --> 00:09:23,703
- Go.
280
00:09:23,733 --> 00:09:29,180
- Would you rather have a
very painful vaginal birth
281
00:09:30,250 --> 00:09:33,753
or completely pain free,
282
00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:37,523
but through your mouth.
283
00:09:38,718 --> 00:09:40,840
- Something is very wrong with you.
284
00:09:40,870 --> 00:09:42,580
- Okay wait, hang on.
285
00:09:42,610 --> 00:09:44,830
Would I be able to dislocate
my jaw like a python
286
00:09:44,860 --> 00:09:46,140
and then it just pops back in?
287
00:09:46,170 --> 00:09:47,290
How's this gonna work?
288
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:48,880
- Exactly like a snake.
289
00:09:48,910 --> 00:09:49,713
Mouth or vag?
290
00:09:49,743 --> 00:09:50,920
- I mean, mouth, I guess.
291
00:09:50,950 --> 00:09:51,790
- Yep, same.
292
00:09:51,820 --> 00:09:52,623
- I'm with you.
293
00:09:52,653 --> 00:09:54,691
You gotta protect the lady parts.
294
00:09:55,876 --> 00:09:58,041
- What the fuck?
- Oh my God.
295
00:09:58,071 --> 00:09:59,571
- Holy shit.
296
00:10:16,904 --> 00:10:18,404
- Oh my God.
297
00:10:22,362 --> 00:10:24,279
Come on, come on.
298
00:10:26,216 --> 00:10:27,549
Oh my God.
299
00:10:30,203 --> 00:10:32,225
- I have to film this.
300
00:10:32,255 --> 00:10:34,490
- Stacy, Stacy, Stacy,
don't open the door, okay.
301
00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:36,520
Okay we don't know what's in the air.
302
00:10:36,550 --> 00:10:37,627
Keep that closed.
303
00:10:37,657 --> 00:10:40,007
- Is it a terrorist attack?
304
00:10:41,491 --> 00:10:42,500
- Close the curtain.
305
00:10:42,530 --> 00:10:43,333
- Okay.
306
00:10:43,363 --> 00:10:44,696
- Oh my God.
307
00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:47,260
Oh my God.
308
00:10:47,290 --> 00:10:48,850
Is it North Korea?
309
00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:50,030
What did he tweet?
310
00:10:50,060 --> 00:10:51,737
How am I supposed to know
what's going on in the world?
311
00:10:51,767 --> 00:10:53,100
No, no.
312
00:10:53,768 --> 00:10:54,640
Do you have service?
313
00:10:54,670 --> 00:10:57,283
- No I don't have service.
314
00:10:58,670 --> 00:10:59,777
- No one has service.
315
00:10:59,807 --> 00:11:00,650
- It's okay.
316
00:11:00,680 --> 00:11:01,734
- Is mercury in retrograde right now?
317
00:11:01,764 --> 00:11:03,263
- I'm pretty sure it is!
318
00:11:03,293 --> 00:11:05,144
- I can't be here, I gotta go.
319
00:11:05,174 --> 00:11:06,560
- Jill!
- Jill no!
320
00:11:06,590 --> 00:11:07,880
- Jill stop!
321
00:11:07,910 --> 00:11:10,020
Hey, hey, hey, hang on okay?
322
00:11:10,050 --> 00:11:11,200
Stop, stop.
323
00:11:11,230 --> 00:11:13,410
Look, no electricity,
that means no elevators,
324
00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:15,920
we're not gonna run down
14 flights of stairs, okay?
325
00:11:15,950 --> 00:11:17,440
We don't know what's happening out there.
326
00:11:17,470 --> 00:11:18,290
We don't know what's happening.
327
00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:19,699
- She's right.
328
00:11:19,729 --> 00:11:22,710
I mean it's dark in
here but there's pizza.
329
00:11:22,740 --> 00:11:26,242
And outside is fire and
smoke and probably zombies,
330
00:11:26,272 --> 00:11:29,938
and swine flu, real Tank
Girl shit out there.
331
00:11:29,968 --> 00:11:31,301
- What?
332
00:11:32,202 --> 00:11:33,510
- Why are people leaving?
333
00:11:33,540 --> 00:11:34,466
Should we go?
334
00:11:34,496 --> 00:11:36,518
- No no no.
335
00:11:36,548 --> 00:11:38,530
- All right, let's just calm down.
336
00:11:38,560 --> 00:11:39,740
Take a deep breath, okay?
337
00:11:39,770 --> 00:11:41,300
Do you have flashlights or anything?
338
00:11:41,330 --> 00:11:43,780
- Yeah yeah, come on, come on let's go.
339
00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:48,010
Okay can you hold that?
340
00:11:49,841 --> 00:11:52,190
Okay can you guys just hold
the light for me so I can see?
341
00:11:52,220 --> 00:11:53,480
- What exactly are we looking for?
342
00:11:53,510 --> 00:11:57,744
- I have these lantern
things I've never used.
343
00:11:57,774 --> 00:12:00,180
I invested in them when
I was on Shark Tank.
344
00:12:00,210 --> 00:12:02,130
They're battery powered,
but they partially run
345
00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:04,420
on solar or some shit, I don't know.
346
00:12:04,450 --> 00:12:06,753
Here, I'm gonna hand stuff out.
347
00:12:07,217 --> 00:12:08,580
I wish Greg was here.
348
00:12:08,610 --> 00:12:09,580
- Why?
349
00:12:09,610 --> 00:12:11,280
- He has all this stuff.
350
00:12:11,310 --> 00:12:13,240
He had a head-for-the-hills bag,
351
00:12:13,270 --> 00:12:16,410
which is one of the many reasons
we're not together anymore.
352
00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:17,243
Weirdo.
353
00:12:17,273 --> 00:12:18,146
- Where is Greg?
354
00:12:18,176 --> 00:12:19,264
- I'm gonna go out on a limb and say
355
00:12:19,294 --> 00:12:21,050
he's headed for the hills.
356
00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:23,950
- Oh Mel, you guys were so in love.
357
00:12:23,980 --> 00:12:27,379
- Stacy, I can't with that right now okay?
358
00:12:27,409 --> 00:12:28,480
We're still friends.
359
00:12:28,510 --> 00:12:29,990
We're just, God this one's heavy,
360
00:12:30,020 --> 00:12:31,710
we're not an item anymore.
361
00:12:31,740 --> 00:12:33,610
But he is the reason that I have
362
00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:35,600
tons and tons of camping lights.
363
00:12:35,630 --> 00:12:37,433
The man loves camping.
364
00:12:40,010 --> 00:12:40,900
- Thoughts?
365
00:12:40,930 --> 00:12:41,733
- Oh that's actually...
366
00:12:41,763 --> 00:12:43,020
- Fashionable and practical.
367
00:12:43,050 --> 00:12:43,853
Oh look.
368
00:12:43,883 --> 00:12:44,686
- Bingo.
369
00:12:44,716 --> 00:12:45,519
- That's what I was looking for,
370
00:12:45,549 --> 00:12:46,787
those are battery operated too.
371
00:12:46,817 --> 00:12:48,353
- Oh, Frankie.
372
00:12:49,470 --> 00:12:50,963
You can match.
373
00:12:52,745 --> 00:12:55,223
- Let there be light, ladies.
374
00:13:07,216 --> 00:13:08,790
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
375
00:13:08,820 --> 00:13:09,640
S'okay ladies.
376
00:13:09,670 --> 00:13:10,473
- Is that Greg?
377
00:13:10,503 --> 00:13:11,743
- It's okay.
378
00:13:11,773 --> 00:13:13,120
- What are you doing here?
379
00:13:13,150 --> 00:13:14,560
How did you even get in?
380
00:13:14,590 --> 00:13:17,753
- Well, if you must know,
miss lady, I used my key.
381
00:13:18,799 --> 00:13:20,193
Look it's pretty bad out there.
382
00:13:20,223 --> 00:13:22,430
They got attacks going
on in San Francisco,
383
00:13:22,460 --> 00:13:25,160
New York, Nashville, and even Boise.
384
00:13:25,190 --> 00:13:26,680
- Boise?
385
00:13:26,710 --> 00:13:28,340
God, somebody must really hate potatoes.
386
00:13:28,370 --> 00:13:29,853
- Oh, Frankie.
387
00:13:30,390 --> 00:13:32,360
- How do you know all this?
388
00:13:32,390 --> 00:13:33,193
- Radio.
389
00:13:33,223 --> 00:13:34,026
- You have a radio?
390
00:13:34,056 --> 00:13:35,030
- Of course he has a radio.
391
00:13:35,060 --> 00:13:36,034
- Do you have a radio?
392
00:13:36,064 --> 00:13:36,867
- No, I don't have a radio,
393
00:13:36,897 --> 00:13:38,240
I mean who has a radio anymore right?
394
00:13:38,270 --> 00:13:39,073
- Greg has a radio.
395
00:13:39,103 --> 00:13:41,000
- Of course, he has a radio.
396
00:13:41,030 --> 00:13:42,680
- Now you have a radio.
397
00:13:43,730 --> 00:13:44,533
- Here.
398
00:13:44,563 --> 00:13:46,500
- Look, someone needs to
go fill up the tub, okay.
399
00:13:46,530 --> 00:13:48,550
Take advantage of this water
while we still have it.
400
00:13:48,580 --> 00:13:49,620
Use all of the hot water--
401
00:13:49,650 --> 00:13:51,460
- All right on it, on it.
402
00:13:51,490 --> 00:13:52,823
- And...
403
00:13:54,305 --> 00:13:55,769
Seal up the windows.
404
00:13:55,799 --> 00:13:57,634
Make sure you seal up the edges.
405
00:13:57,664 --> 00:14:00,320
You don't want any of that
outside air penetrating.
406
00:14:00,350 --> 00:14:02,060
- Penetrating what?
407
00:14:02,090 --> 00:14:03,513
- I can hear you.
408
00:14:04,386 --> 00:14:06,219
- Come on, Jill.
409
00:14:08,137 --> 00:14:10,683
- Don't you think this is a bit much?
410
00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:13,413
- Okay.
411
00:14:13,810 --> 00:14:15,253
- You scare them.
412
00:14:24,278 --> 00:14:26,576
What are you doing here?
413
00:14:26,606 --> 00:14:28,100
- I came for my camping lights.
414
00:14:28,130 --> 00:14:30,700
- I told you we need some space, babe.
415
00:14:30,730 --> 00:14:32,325
Christ, I mean what is this?
416
00:14:32,355 --> 00:14:33,158
- It's a gas mask.
417
00:14:33,188 --> 00:14:34,220
- Is this Ant-Man or something?
418
00:14:34,250 --> 00:14:37,097
- Look, you knew I was
coming back for you.
419
00:14:37,127 --> 00:14:39,670
- I do kind of like this look.
420
00:14:39,700 --> 00:14:43,321
I really love a man in a vest
with lots of tiny pockets.
421
00:14:43,351 --> 00:14:45,710
- Yeah I look pretty dangerous huh?
422
00:14:45,740 --> 00:14:46,880
I figured you'd like it.
423
00:14:46,910 --> 00:14:49,517
- It's kinda sexy, like
what do you put in here?
424
00:14:49,547 --> 00:14:51,241
Hand sanitizer wipes?
425
00:14:51,271 --> 00:14:53,030
You look like GI Joe.
426
00:14:53,060 --> 00:14:54,270
Who's Saint Augler?
427
00:14:54,300 --> 00:14:57,293
- Your fantasy Superman.
428
00:14:57,970 --> 00:15:00,113
Plus, if we're gonna die,
429
00:15:00,143 --> 00:15:02,930
you know I wanna tap
dat ass one more time.
430
00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:05,613
- Oh my God this sweet talk.
431
00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:08,800
Okay babe.
432
00:15:10,330 --> 00:15:11,663
- No.
433
00:15:13,100 --> 00:15:15,560
- Okay Saint Augler just
give me just a second okay?
434
00:15:15,590 --> 00:15:16,500
- Tap dat ass?
435
00:15:16,530 --> 00:15:18,100
Are you frickin' kidding me?
436
00:15:18,130 --> 00:15:19,950
- Babe, babe just give me a second okay.
437
00:15:19,980 --> 00:15:21,270
- Yeah babe.
- Bye babe.
438
00:15:21,300 --> 00:15:22,703
- Yeah.
- Go!
439
00:15:24,812 --> 00:15:26,670
- You can't leave us.
440
00:15:26,700 --> 00:15:28,120
- Hold her down, I'll get the tape.
441
00:15:28,150 --> 00:15:30,412
- Melissa, you're not
seriously considering this.
442
00:15:30,442 --> 00:15:31,480
- Girls.
443
00:15:31,510 --> 00:15:34,300
- What happened to Miss Independent,
444
00:15:34,330 --> 00:15:37,840
you know, Hill would be so ashamed.
445
00:15:37,870 --> 00:15:40,220
Okay come on, what
happened to miss on her own
446
00:15:40,250 --> 00:15:44,803
and miss solidarity and
friends and Kelly Clarkson?
447
00:15:45,293 --> 00:15:46,368
What happened?
448
00:15:46,398 --> 00:15:47,201
Please.
449
00:15:47,231 --> 00:15:48,034
Please don't go.
450
00:15:48,064 --> 00:15:48,867
- Okay look, look.
451
00:15:48,897 --> 00:15:50,800
You all have healthy sex lives
452
00:15:50,830 --> 00:15:54,520
and I haven't gotten laid
in like eight billion years.
453
00:15:54,550 --> 00:15:57,020
So if this really is the end of the world,
454
00:15:57,050 --> 00:15:58,380
mama's gonna get a little vitamin D,
455
00:15:58,410 --> 00:15:59,929
just one more time.
456
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:00,780
Okay?
457
00:16:00,810 --> 00:16:03,080
I gotta go before I change my mind.
458
00:16:03,110 --> 00:16:04,590
I love you guys.
459
00:16:04,620 --> 00:16:06,340
Okay don't make me cry, I love you.
460
00:16:06,370 --> 00:16:07,673
I love you.
461
00:16:07,703 --> 00:16:09,031
Be safe.
462
00:16:09,061 --> 00:16:10,442
Be safe!
463
00:16:10,472 --> 00:16:14,980
Stay safe!
464
00:16:15,688 --> 00:16:17,677
- Did that really just happen?
465
00:16:17,707 --> 00:16:19,790
- What a fucking whore.
466
00:16:19,820 --> 00:16:21,157
- Is this a joke?
467
00:16:21,187 --> 00:16:24,440
- Melissa Ruthers,
relationship status:
468
00:16:24,470 --> 00:16:25,953
it's complicated.
469
00:16:26,605 --> 00:16:28,160
- This is PJ and
Maggs and we've interrupted
470
00:16:28,190 --> 00:16:30,280
our Thursday night America
Countdown to bring you
471
00:16:30,310 --> 00:16:31,410
emergency news coverage.
472
00:16:31,440 --> 00:16:32,640
America is under attack.
473
00:16:32,670 --> 00:16:35,270
The following cities have been bombed:
474
00:16:35,300 --> 00:16:37,670
San Francisco, New York City, Nashville,
475
00:16:37,700 --> 00:16:39,388
Orlando, and Boise.
476
00:16:39,418 --> 00:16:41,017
- Told you it's the potatoes.
477
00:16:41,047 --> 00:16:41,850
- Everyone is advised
to stay where you are.
478
00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:43,060
Seek shelter.
479
00:16:43,090 --> 00:16:46,230
Tape and seal doors and windows,
and ration food and water.
480
00:16:46,260 --> 00:16:49,400
There have been no further
attacks since 8:35 p.m.
481
00:16:49,430 --> 00:16:51,321
central standard time.
482
00:16:51,351 --> 00:16:53,273
We do not the extent of the threat
483
00:16:53,303 --> 00:16:57,323
as toxicity levels cannot
be determined at this time.
484
00:16:57,860 --> 00:17:01,319
We just got this in for Nashville
and surrounding counties.
485
00:17:01,349 --> 00:17:03,410
All interstates are closed.
486
00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:04,940
Please do not attempt to leave or enter
487
00:17:04,970 --> 00:17:06,810
the greater Nashville area.
488
00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:09,170
All air travel has been suspend...
489
00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:12,140
- We can't listen to this all night.
490
00:17:20,700 --> 00:17:22,033
- Okay.
491
00:17:22,482 --> 00:17:24,040
Let's do what he said, right?
492
00:17:24,070 --> 00:17:25,490
Gather supplies and ration.
493
00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:27,620
So we have five pizzas, right,
494
00:17:27,650 --> 00:17:30,886
and the fridge is gonna
stay cold for a day or so.
495
00:17:30,916 --> 00:17:36,416
We got hummus, pickles, two pudding cups.
496
00:17:37,050 --> 00:17:38,630
Any condiment you can imagine.
497
00:17:38,660 --> 00:17:39,993
- That's it?
498
00:17:41,990 --> 00:17:45,210
- We have more pizza,
499
00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:48,100
and penis ice.
500
00:17:48,130 --> 00:17:49,493
Let's see.
501
00:17:50,493 --> 00:17:51,826
We have...
502
00:17:53,710 --> 00:17:55,043
Greg's shit.
503
00:17:57,665 --> 00:17:59,793
- And Jillian's cookies.
504
00:18:01,288 --> 00:18:06,230
- And five dehydrated Greg meals.
505
00:18:06,260 --> 00:18:10,970
And if anyone's wondering,
154 units of insulin.
506
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,755
- Wait, how long is that gonna last?
507
00:18:12,785 --> 00:18:15,413
- Five days, maybe seven.
508
00:18:17,940 --> 00:18:19,010
- Okay.
509
00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:19,843
Great.
510
00:18:19,873 --> 00:18:20,680
Awesome.
511
00:18:20,710 --> 00:18:25,730
Right, we also have one case
of electrolyte infused waters,
512
00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:30,643
all right, so sip slow
and make it last, ladies.
513
00:18:31,970 --> 00:18:33,303
All right.
514
00:18:34,120 --> 00:18:38,137
So we are gonna wait this out.
515
00:18:38,968 --> 00:18:41,523
- Well we need to rig up some lights.
516
00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:44,123
- Frankie, yes.
517
00:18:44,550 --> 00:18:45,883
Go team.
518
00:18:50,507 --> 00:18:51,840
- Melissa.
519
00:19:01,197 --> 00:19:03,563
- Let's get these panties popping.
520
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:17,337
Festive AF.
521
00:19:18,712 --> 00:19:20,838
- It's actually pretty genius.
522
00:19:20,868 --> 00:19:22,451
- Looks good.
523
00:19:25,661 --> 00:19:28,833
- I haven't tuned one of these in forever.
524
00:19:36,270 --> 00:19:38,900
- The following
message is being transmitted
525
00:19:38,930 --> 00:19:42,357
at the request of civil defense.
526
00:19:42,387 --> 00:19:44,080
- Holy shit.
527
00:19:44,110 --> 00:19:45,390
- I know, just read it.
528
00:19:45,420 --> 00:19:48,253
- Please stand by for instructions.
529
00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:55,340
- We just got an update with reports
530
00:19:55,370 --> 00:19:57,850
of ebola-like symptoms
developing from exposure
531
00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:00,110
to the air and debris within what is now
532
00:20:00,140 --> 00:20:03,193
a six mile radius of the site of attack.
533
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:14,930
- All we can do is wait, and pray.
534
00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:16,320
If you are within a safe shelter,
535
00:20:16,350 --> 00:20:18,170
be advised that it could be days,
536
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,962
even weeks before rescue
missions are attempted.
537
00:20:20,992 --> 00:20:22,917
Nashville is under Martial Law.
538
00:20:22,947 --> 00:20:25,330
Please, do not open doors.
539
00:20:25,360 --> 00:20:27,883
There is a bio-chemical threat outside.
540
00:20:28,290 --> 00:20:30,750
We are one of five American
cities attacked tonight
541
00:20:30,780 --> 00:20:33,570
in seemingly unmotivated acts of terror.
542
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,280
Stand strong, Music City.
543
00:20:35,310 --> 00:20:37,100
Tell those around you you love them.
544
00:20:37,130 --> 00:20:39,460
- All right y'all, we're
gonna continue taking calls
545
00:20:39,490 --> 00:20:42,260
and update you with
information as it comes in.
546
00:20:42,290 --> 00:20:44,594
This is PJ with WBNA FM.
547
00:20:44,624 --> 00:20:46,480
Who am I speaking to?
548
00:20:46,510 --> 00:20:47,690
- This is Reverend Adam Sholks
549
00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:50,380
and I just want all the cities in America
550
00:20:50,410 --> 00:20:53,300
to know that the prayer
warriors are going strong.
551
00:20:53,330 --> 00:20:55,260
My daughter is in Nashville.
552
00:20:55,290 --> 00:20:57,660
If you hear me, darlin', you
know you need to get right
553
00:20:57,690 --> 00:20:59,920
with God cause your chance
of survival is not good.
554
00:20:59,950 --> 00:21:01,283
- And no.
555
00:21:02,890 --> 00:21:04,590
- That was the reverend.
556
00:21:04,620 --> 00:21:08,693
You can catch him on Sundays.
557
00:21:09,569 --> 00:21:11,313
- I just can't.
558
00:21:13,710 --> 00:21:15,340
- Should we go with her?
559
00:21:15,370 --> 00:21:16,173
- Probably.
560
00:21:16,203 --> 00:21:18,740
First one to separate's
usually the first one to die.
561
00:21:18,770 --> 00:21:20,770
- It's usually the black person.
562
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:22,380
- Not in this house.
563
00:21:22,410 --> 00:21:24,497
- Yeah, we're woke.
564
00:21:24,527 --> 00:21:27,103
- Please don't ever say that again.
565
00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:39,293
- Okay.
566
00:21:43,310 --> 00:21:45,123
To whoever is watching.
567
00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:49,436
Please, please, go to my
notes and under the file,
568
00:21:49,466 --> 00:21:51,762
it's titled worst night ever,
569
00:21:51,792 --> 00:21:55,790
you'll find my very last article...
570
00:21:57,820 --> 00:21:59,930
It's my very last article that's gonna
571
00:21:59,960 --> 00:22:03,803
document what just might be
our very last night on earth.
572
00:22:07,820 --> 00:22:09,703
Sorry, there have been,
573
00:22:11,529 --> 00:22:14,537
been black hawks and circlers.
574
00:22:17,360 --> 00:22:20,962
Anyways, please, if you see this,
575
00:22:20,992 --> 00:22:23,980
get it to Boss Bitch Magazine, okay?
576
00:22:24,010 --> 00:22:26,323
If it's still a thing.
577
00:22:34,682 --> 00:22:36,182
You hear it?
578
00:22:36,820 --> 00:22:38,423
Shaking the building.
579
00:22:41,187 --> 00:22:45,697
Anyways, so please, just get
it to Boss Bitch Mag, again.
580
00:22:46,830 --> 00:22:48,243
And to Bo,
581
00:22:49,470 --> 00:22:50,803
baby,
582
00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:55,073
if you see this, I hope
you know I love you.
583
00:22:56,413 --> 00:22:58,323
I love you so much.
584
00:22:59,426 --> 00:23:00,759
I really do.
585
00:23:03,522 --> 00:23:04,855
And,
586
00:23:06,905 --> 00:23:08,488
I'm pregnant.
587
00:23:11,470 --> 00:23:14,110
Oh my God no I'm not, I'm just kidding.
588
00:23:14,140 --> 00:23:17,040
That was so bad, that was a bad joke,
589
00:23:17,070 --> 00:23:20,143
at very inappropriate, bad timing.
590
00:23:21,535 --> 00:23:23,050
You know me, I'm not that funny.
591
00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:24,660
Ha ha ha.
592
00:23:24,690 --> 00:23:26,273
I make myself laugh.
593
00:23:26,771 --> 00:23:28,693
And you by doing that.
594
00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:32,833
Anyways, whatever.
595
00:23:33,580 --> 00:23:35,193
I love you.
596
00:23:36,803 --> 00:23:38,673
I love you so much.
597
00:23:56,409 --> 00:24:01,826
- Is anyone else imagining Abby
the Adolescent Witch on TV?
598
00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:04,283
- Bridget Jones Diary.
599
00:24:05,120 --> 00:24:07,103
- E! True Hollywood Story.
600
00:24:07,916 --> 00:24:09,384
Fuck it, y'all.
601
00:24:09,414 --> 00:24:11,900
I'm taking the good stuff.
602
00:24:22,312 --> 00:24:24,663
- Why did the sirens stop?
603
00:24:28,070 --> 00:24:29,660
- I don't know, Jill.
604
00:24:29,690 --> 00:24:31,323
- I'm really scared.
605
00:24:31,868 --> 00:24:33,353
- Hey, I know.
606
00:24:34,790 --> 00:24:36,390
Me, too.
607
00:24:36,420 --> 00:24:38,320
- There's nothing we can do.
608
00:24:42,570 --> 00:24:43,750
We're just gonna have to face the fact
609
00:24:43,780 --> 00:24:45,590
that we're probably are gonna
die in the next few days,
610
00:24:45,620 --> 00:24:49,754
either from starvation
or opening up a window
611
00:24:49,784 --> 00:24:52,866
and dying from some bleeding eye shit.
612
00:24:52,896 --> 00:24:55,354
- Oh, God.
613
00:24:55,384 --> 00:24:56,810
- Don't cry, Jill.
614
00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:58,090
Just drink.
615
00:24:58,120 --> 00:25:00,070
At least you're here with us.
616
00:25:02,870 --> 00:25:03,673
Frankie?
617
00:25:03,703 --> 00:25:04,706
- No.
618
00:25:04,736 --> 00:25:05,620
Makes my eyes cry.
619
00:25:05,650 --> 00:25:06,983
- Fine.
620
00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:13,400
- Okay, listen, I just
wanna say that this room
621
00:25:13,430 --> 00:25:16,083
is a safe space.
622
00:25:16,530 --> 00:25:17,333
All right?
623
00:25:17,363 --> 00:25:19,650
So whatever is weighing on your hearts,
624
00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:21,910
just let it out, okay?
625
00:25:21,940 --> 00:25:24,090
Because if we're gonna die,
626
00:25:24,120 --> 00:25:26,512
we're gonna die with clean consciences.
627
00:25:26,542 --> 00:25:29,470
And there will be no judgment.
628
00:25:29,500 --> 00:25:32,790
Just understanding
629
00:25:35,370 --> 00:25:36,703
and solidarity.
630
00:25:39,610 --> 00:25:40,837
- Thank you Bren�.
631
00:25:40,867 --> 00:25:42,693
What time is the march?
632
00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:44,320
- Funny Frankie.
633
00:25:44,350 --> 00:25:47,320
- No but seriously, I wanna roll my eyes
634
00:25:47,350 --> 00:25:50,783
at everything you say but, oh but I can't,
635
00:25:50,813 --> 00:25:54,987
because I really do feel
like I'm in a safe space
636
00:25:55,017 --> 00:25:58,250
with really supportive friends.
637
00:25:58,280 --> 00:25:59,120
- You are.
638
00:25:59,150 --> 00:26:03,318
- I just wish you were a
little more de-facto feminist.
639
00:26:03,348 --> 00:26:05,390
- Fourth wave, sorry Boo.
640
00:26:05,420 --> 00:26:06,223
- It's okay.
641
00:26:06,253 --> 00:26:07,820
I still love you.
642
00:26:07,850 --> 00:26:09,350
- Thanks Frank.
643
00:26:09,380 --> 00:26:11,650
- It's gotta be freeing though,
644
00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:15,930
to not have to write
another girl power article.
645
00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:18,128
If this the end.
646
00:26:18,158 --> 00:26:21,010
- You know what, I actually
really love my job,
647
00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:22,630
I do.
648
00:26:22,660 --> 00:26:24,830
I was in the middle of writing
a piece right now actually,
649
00:26:24,860 --> 00:26:26,910
sort of based on all of us.
650
00:26:26,940 --> 00:26:29,360
I feel like I need to finish it.
651
00:26:29,390 --> 00:26:30,723
Especially now.
652
00:26:32,610 --> 00:26:33,943
- A eulogy?
653
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:36,343
- Shit.
654
00:26:36,790 --> 00:26:41,523
- Well, if anyone's gonna
eulogize us, it should be you, Lo.
655
00:26:42,260 --> 00:26:43,110
- Thanks Frank.
656
00:26:43,140 --> 00:26:46,180
- Jill, why don't we ever
do this at your place?
657
00:26:46,210 --> 00:26:48,600
Would we like disturb Michael's process?
658
00:26:48,630 --> 00:26:50,470
I know you're a little ways out but,
659
00:26:50,500 --> 00:26:53,463
I can't help but think if we'd been there.
660
00:26:54,380 --> 00:26:56,960
- Because Melissa's here twice a month.
661
00:26:56,990 --> 00:26:59,672
And we can all Uber downtown.
662
00:26:59,702 --> 00:27:01,510
Plus, my house just isn't very homey.
663
00:27:01,540 --> 00:27:02,650
You know?
664
00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:04,490
Sometimes I feel like
we bought it just for
665
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:06,810
the Southern Living photo shoots.
666
00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:08,790
- Where is Michael tonight?
667
00:27:08,820 --> 00:27:09,623
- He's in Colorado.
668
00:27:09,653 --> 00:27:11,580
I wonder if he knows what happened.
669
00:27:11,610 --> 00:27:13,120
I haven't heard from him today.
670
00:27:13,150 --> 00:27:14,610
- Wait.
671
00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:15,973
At all?
672
00:27:16,470 --> 00:27:17,660
- No.
673
00:27:17,690 --> 00:27:20,579
It's been a little rough lately.
674
00:27:20,609 --> 00:27:23,370
I'm not even that sad right now.
675
00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:26,864
I'm just, having some regrets.
676
00:27:26,894 --> 00:27:28,810
- Cause you were trying to get pregnant?
677
00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:30,173
- Stacy.
678
00:27:30,831 --> 00:27:32,164
No.
679
00:27:34,712 --> 00:27:38,010
I really just, I want to feel needed.
680
00:27:39,324 --> 00:27:40,521
- Fuck, Jill.
681
00:27:40,551 --> 00:27:43,703
- Why else do you think I have five dogs?
682
00:27:44,260 --> 00:27:46,110
- It is a little excessive.
683
00:27:47,660 --> 00:27:50,320
- You know what Jill,
none of that matters.
684
00:27:50,350 --> 00:27:51,593
Do you know why?
685
00:27:51,623 --> 00:27:53,176
- Why?
686
00:27:53,206 --> 00:27:58,706
- Because you make the best
cookies in the whole world.
687
00:27:59,014 --> 00:28:01,671
- Did that just come out of your butt?
688
00:28:02,940 --> 00:28:04,980
Wait, are you storing
cookies under the couch?
689
00:28:05,010 --> 00:28:05,813
- No.
690
00:28:05,843 --> 00:28:07,974
That would be insane.
691
00:28:08,628 --> 00:28:09,859
- Can I have some?
692
00:28:09,889 --> 00:28:10,770
- No.
693
00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:14,033
- Jill you have nothing to regret.
694
00:28:16,235 --> 00:28:17,960
Look at how much you've done.
695
00:28:17,990 --> 00:28:19,400
I mean look what you've overcome.
696
00:28:19,430 --> 00:28:20,763
- Hold please.
697
00:28:28,980 --> 00:28:31,190
What exactly, did you overcome?
698
00:28:31,220 --> 00:28:32,561
Were you an addict?
699
00:28:32,591 --> 00:28:33,394
Was it coke?
700
00:28:33,424 --> 00:28:34,757
- Stacy!
701
00:28:35,170 --> 00:28:38,850
- 97.8% of child stars go to Betty Ford.
702
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:40,450
Fact.
703
00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:42,067
Were you a sex addict?
704
00:28:42,097 --> 00:28:43,910
Did you have Trichotillomania?
705
00:28:43,940 --> 00:28:44,743
- What?
706
00:28:44,773 --> 00:28:45,576
Did you make that up?
707
00:28:45,606 --> 00:28:47,580
- No, Stacy, she brought
cookies for fuck's sake.
708
00:28:47,610 --> 00:28:49,910
She doesn't have an eating disorder!
709
00:28:51,430 --> 00:28:52,233
- What?
710
00:28:52,263 --> 00:28:54,273
I'm just saying, we've
never dived into this.
711
00:28:54,303 --> 00:28:56,870
What the hell else are
we gonna talk about?
712
00:28:56,900 --> 00:28:59,230
- Wait seriously what is
trick toe-titel-mania?
713
00:28:59,260 --> 00:29:00,950
- It's when you pull your hair out.
714
00:29:00,980 --> 00:29:02,060
- Oh.
715
00:29:02,090 --> 00:29:03,120
Yeah, I totally had that.
716
00:29:03,150 --> 00:29:03,953
- Really?
717
00:29:03,983 --> 00:29:05,711
- No.
718
00:29:06,750 --> 00:29:08,200
- Jill's got jokes!
719
00:29:12,700 --> 00:29:14,300
- Don't do that again.
720
00:29:16,290 --> 00:29:17,920
Wait, come back.
721
00:29:17,950 --> 00:29:19,208
- Hold on, Stace.
722
00:29:19,238 --> 00:29:22,905
I need to get some Advil or something.
723
00:29:23,905 --> 00:29:25,290
What's Flexeril?
724
00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:28,357
- Oh it's a good time in a bottle.
725
00:29:32,539 --> 00:29:33,890
- Hey, I hear you in there.
726
00:29:33,920 --> 00:29:36,613
Open the door, I need help.
727
00:29:37,365 --> 00:29:39,021
Open this door, please!
728
00:29:39,051 --> 00:29:39,854
I won't hurt you.
729
00:29:39,884 --> 00:29:41,993
Please help me, I need help.
730
00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:44,493
Please!
731
00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:47,650
I can hear you in there.
732
00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:49,730
Open the door please!
733
00:29:49,760 --> 00:29:52,143
I need help right now, please.
734
00:29:52,966 --> 00:29:53,920
- Just give him a bottle of water,
735
00:29:53,950 --> 00:29:54,930
you can take one of mine.
736
00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:55,763
- No.
- No.
737
00:29:55,793 --> 00:29:57,500
- Open the door, please.
738
00:29:57,530 --> 00:29:59,240
I'm not gonna hurt you, I need help.
739
00:29:59,270 --> 00:30:01,053
Please, let me in.
740
00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:02,963
- Hey.
741
00:30:02,993 --> 00:30:04,475
What's your name?
742
00:30:04,505 --> 00:30:05,838
- Will.
743
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:08,410
- Will, I'm Loren.
744
00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:10,745
- Loren, please let me in.
745
00:30:10,775 --> 00:30:13,500
I'm not gonna hurt you, I just need water.
746
00:30:13,530 --> 00:30:15,230
It's not for me I swear.
747
00:30:15,260 --> 00:30:16,850
- Will did you open a window?
748
00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:18,939
- No, no, no, I said
don't open the window.
749
00:30:18,969 --> 00:30:20,703
Stop!
750
00:30:21,510 --> 00:30:23,977
Fuck!
751
00:30:24,007 --> 00:30:27,251
Open the fucking door or I'll
kick the fucking door in!
752
00:30:27,281 --> 00:30:28,931
I'll kick it in right now!
753
00:30:28,961 --> 00:30:30,564
Open the fucking door!
754
00:30:30,594 --> 00:30:32,123
Open the door!
755
00:30:34,213 --> 00:30:35,803
- Oh, my God.
756
00:30:37,405 --> 00:30:38,917
- Will, go back to your apartment
757
00:30:38,947 --> 00:30:41,013
and I'm gonna call for help, okay?
758
00:30:41,043 --> 00:30:41,899
- 1402.
759
00:30:41,929 --> 00:30:42,990
- What?
760
00:30:43,020 --> 00:30:45,630
- Apartment 1402.
761
00:30:45,660 --> 00:30:47,310
- I gotta see this too.
762
00:30:49,804 --> 00:30:50,890
Oh, uh uh.
763
00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:52,950
That's some 28 Days Later shit.
764
00:30:52,980 --> 00:30:54,735
- Will?
765
00:31:05,882 --> 00:31:07,215
Will?
766
00:31:07,740 --> 00:31:09,240
Will?
767
00:31:09,270 --> 00:31:10,160
- Frankie!
768
00:31:10,190 --> 00:31:11,523
Tape.
769
00:31:12,330 --> 00:31:13,663
Watch out Lo.
770
00:31:16,030 --> 00:31:17,683
- Hey, you okay?
771
00:31:18,020 --> 00:31:20,300
Come on let's take a little minute.
772
00:31:20,330 --> 00:31:22,420
Hey we'll be right back.
773
00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:25,553
Just take a breath, okay?
774
00:31:27,690 --> 00:31:29,023
Hey.
775
00:31:29,980 --> 00:31:32,858
Just put your hands
behind your head, okay?
776
00:31:32,888 --> 00:31:35,596
Come on, and breathe in, all right?
777
00:31:35,626 --> 00:31:36,429
Breathe in.
778
00:31:36,459 --> 00:31:37,792
Go...
779
00:31:38,163 --> 00:31:40,080
Two, three, four.
780
00:31:42,220 --> 00:31:43,620
Okay, do it again.
781
00:31:44,190 --> 00:31:45,821
Three, four.
782
00:31:45,851 --> 00:31:49,860
- Loren, that guy outside
is gonna die any minute
783
00:31:49,890 --> 00:31:52,050
and I watched you lie
to him to calm him down,
784
00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:53,370
and now you're doing that to me.
785
00:31:53,400 --> 00:31:57,640
- Whoa hey, I'm not lying to you, okay?
786
00:31:57,670 --> 00:31:59,403
You are okay.
787
00:32:00,860 --> 00:32:03,390
Stacy's gonna sanitize
the hell out of that door.
788
00:32:03,420 --> 00:32:04,223
You know her.
789
00:32:04,253 --> 00:32:07,840
You may not get any fresh
air for a while, but...
790
00:32:11,782 --> 00:32:14,782
We're not dying tonight, Jill.
791
00:32:28,224 --> 00:32:31,050
- This bed is ridiculously comfortable.
792
00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:32,480
- See?
793
00:32:32,510 --> 00:32:33,913
Silver linings.
794
00:32:34,730 --> 00:32:35,650
- Maybe.
795
00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:37,013
Tiny.
796
00:32:37,942 --> 00:32:39,500
- You want to try and get some sleep
797
00:32:39,530 --> 00:32:40,916
or have some time to yourself?
798
00:32:40,946 --> 00:32:44,446
- No, I don't want to be left alone.
799
00:32:45,504 --> 00:32:48,542
- What can I do for you Jill?
800
00:32:48,572 --> 00:32:52,072
- I need some happiness up in here.
801
00:32:52,753 --> 00:32:54,463
Tell me a joke.
802
00:32:54,930 --> 00:32:56,263
- Okay.
803
00:32:58,090 --> 00:33:00,180
Okay on a scale of one to Frankie
804
00:33:00,210 --> 00:33:02,530
how offensive do you want it?
805
00:33:02,560 --> 00:33:03,790
- Surprise me, Lo.
806
00:33:03,820 --> 00:33:05,903
- Okay you ready?
807
00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:09,143
What do gay horses eat?
808
00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:10,893
- Hay!
809
00:33:12,293 --> 00:33:14,993
- What do lesbian horses eat?
810
00:33:16,068 --> 00:33:17,976
- I don't know.
811
00:33:18,006 --> 00:33:19,339
- Ready?
812
00:33:19,819 --> 00:33:21,152
Hay!
813
00:33:22,569 --> 00:33:24,423
- What was that?
814
00:33:24,453 --> 00:33:26,341
- It's my party trick.
815
00:33:26,371 --> 00:33:28,188
- Oh nice deep voice.
816
00:33:28,218 --> 00:33:29,276
- Spooky right?
817
00:33:29,306 --> 00:33:30,109
It's good.
818
00:33:30,139 --> 00:33:32,310
- I hate to break up this flap gathering
819
00:33:32,340 --> 00:33:35,420
but our friend Stacy here
is going to have an aneurism
820
00:33:35,450 --> 00:33:37,830
if she doesn't hear the
E! True Hollywood story
821
00:33:37,860 --> 00:33:40,490
of Jillian Olsen in the next 20 minutes.
822
00:33:40,520 --> 00:33:41,853
- Please!
823
00:33:43,060 --> 00:33:45,323
- What is a flap gathering?
824
00:33:46,020 --> 00:33:47,420
- Frankie!
825
00:33:48,900 --> 00:33:51,080
- It's two or more vaginas.
826
00:33:51,110 --> 00:33:52,890
Figure it out Jill, you'll get it.
827
00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:54,520
- I'll show you later.
828
00:33:56,981 --> 00:33:58,390
- I'm gonna need another drink.
829
00:33:58,420 --> 00:34:00,120
- That I can do.
830
00:34:01,900 --> 00:34:03,563
Some nosy Rosies.
831
00:34:04,335 --> 00:34:05,967
- Give me the goods, bitches.
832
00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:35,070
- Guys, what the fuck?
833
00:34:35,100 --> 00:34:36,300
Whose is this?
834
00:34:36,330 --> 00:34:37,133
Stacy?
835
00:34:37,163 --> 00:34:38,170
- Why do you assume it's me?
836
00:34:38,200 --> 00:34:39,570
- Because you read this trash.
837
00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:41,858
- That's all it is, Jill, it's trash.
838
00:34:41,888 --> 00:34:43,920
I didn't get it 'cause
Michael was on the cover,
839
00:34:43,950 --> 00:34:45,390
I got it because Kylie was.
840
00:34:45,420 --> 00:34:47,333
You know I love her.
841
00:34:49,230 --> 00:34:50,703
Is it true?
842
00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:55,420
- Yes.
843
00:34:55,450 --> 00:34:58,250
He's been fucking his
publicist the past year.
844
00:34:59,230 --> 00:35:00,893
Where's my glass?
845
00:35:03,436 --> 00:35:05,166
- I knew it.
846
00:35:05,196 --> 00:35:06,529
- Shut up!
847
00:35:18,445 --> 00:35:19,778
- Oh.
848
00:35:21,227 --> 00:35:22,560
Shit.
849
00:35:30,033 --> 00:35:32,426
- Have any of y'all fucked him?
850
00:35:34,140 --> 00:35:35,560
- What?
851
00:35:35,590 --> 00:35:37,083
- No!
852
00:35:38,500 --> 00:35:40,520
- Why would you ask that?
853
00:35:40,550 --> 00:35:41,510
- Frankie?
854
00:35:41,540 --> 00:35:42,343
- Gross!
855
00:35:42,373 --> 00:35:43,270
Why would you single me out like that?
856
00:35:43,300 --> 00:35:45,620
I'm not in the least bit
attracted to Michael.
857
00:35:45,650 --> 00:35:48,441
You know I like black guys, right.
858
00:35:48,471 --> 00:35:53,640
- Rule number one, you don't
fuck your friend's boyfriends.
859
00:35:53,670 --> 00:35:55,670
God Jill, get a grip.
860
00:35:55,700 --> 00:35:58,280
- I would never do that!
861
00:35:58,310 --> 00:36:00,260
You guys are, seriously,
my only girlfriends.
862
00:36:00,290 --> 00:36:02,430
And I'm loyal as fuck!
863
00:36:02,460 --> 00:36:03,990
It's always been like that.
864
00:36:04,020 --> 00:36:06,100
Most women just don't like me.
865
00:36:06,130 --> 00:36:09,510
- Newsflash, it's because you
always flirt with our fellas!
866
00:36:09,540 --> 00:36:10,500
- What?
867
00:36:10,530 --> 00:36:12,314
- Yeah, you do!
868
00:36:12,344 --> 00:36:16,100
You always tell Michael how
much you loved his songs
869
00:36:16,130 --> 00:36:18,990
and you sing every word and
talk about how great they are
870
00:36:19,020 --> 00:36:20,591
and like puff him up!
871
00:36:20,621 --> 00:36:23,282
- That's because I like his music.
872
00:36:23,312 --> 00:36:25,312
- I'm sorry, what?
873
00:36:26,053 --> 00:36:27,357
How?
874
00:36:27,387 --> 00:36:29,463
I don't even like it!
875
00:36:29,890 --> 00:36:34,460
- Okay so shoot me if I think
bro country catchy, Jillian.
876
00:36:34,490 --> 00:36:35,640
Everybody likes Cruise and if they
877
00:36:35,670 --> 00:36:37,620
say they don't they're lying.
878
00:36:37,990 --> 00:36:40,300
- You flirt with Bo, too.
879
00:36:40,330 --> 00:36:42,293
- Okay Stacy, not helping.
880
00:36:43,564 --> 00:36:46,640
And I watch Sunday night football
with Bo, for fuck's sake!
881
00:36:46,670 --> 00:36:48,500
- Frankie, it's fine okay.
882
00:36:48,530 --> 00:36:50,450
Calm down.
883
00:36:50,480 --> 00:36:51,953
All right listen.
884
00:36:53,249 --> 00:36:55,730
I have never felt threatened by you
885
00:36:55,760 --> 00:36:58,153
watching football with Bo.
886
00:36:58,500 --> 00:37:00,200
Honest to God.
887
00:37:00,230 --> 00:37:02,720
You two could sleep in
the same bed together
888
00:37:02,750 --> 00:37:05,970
and I wouldn't care
because I trust you both.
889
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:08,710
That's what's really wrong here, Jill.
890
00:37:08,740 --> 00:37:12,180
You don't trust Michael,
and you're misplacing that
891
00:37:12,210 --> 00:37:14,390
on our very dear friend
Frankie right now, okay?
892
00:37:14,420 --> 00:37:16,063
So Frankie, hey.
893
00:37:16,490 --> 00:37:17,823
Hey.
894
00:37:20,260 --> 00:37:21,305
Hey.
895
00:37:21,335 --> 00:37:23,550
It's not your fault.
896
00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:26,533
Okay?
897
00:37:28,610 --> 00:37:30,460
- This makes so much sense.
898
00:37:31,610 --> 00:37:33,620
Girls don't like me because
I get along with their men
899
00:37:33,650 --> 00:37:35,507
better than they do.
900
00:37:36,510 --> 00:37:37,843
- It's true.
901
00:37:39,630 --> 00:37:41,877
- Y'all, lemme just tell y'all something.
902
00:37:43,580 --> 00:37:45,700
Y'all know I was raised
by my dad and brothers.
903
00:37:45,730 --> 00:37:48,820
Okay, so here's some
safe space shit for you.
904
00:37:48,850 --> 00:37:50,000
I know I mentioned that I was bullied,
905
00:37:50,030 --> 00:37:54,593
but I don't know if I really
mentioned how bad it was,
906
00:37:54,623 --> 00:37:56,970
because it was really bad.
907
00:37:57,000 --> 00:37:59,323
Kids are fuckin' cruel.
908
00:38:00,719 --> 00:38:02,740
My brothers looked out for me,
909
00:38:02,770 --> 00:38:03,820
and when they got tired of seeing me
910
00:38:03,850 --> 00:38:05,220
get off the bus everyday crying,
911
00:38:05,250 --> 00:38:08,300
they just took me in with their crew.
912
00:38:08,330 --> 00:38:11,057
They stood up for me and they taught me
913
00:38:11,087 --> 00:38:13,230
how to stand up for myself.
914
00:38:13,260 --> 00:38:16,351
And I became the little
sister of the entire
915
00:38:16,381 --> 00:38:18,993
Westside Football team, okay?
916
00:38:19,790 --> 00:38:23,293
Clear eyes, full hearts and Frankie.
917
00:38:23,700 --> 00:38:24,720
Can't lose.
918
00:38:24,750 --> 00:38:27,600
So cheerleaders started coming up to me
919
00:38:27,630 --> 00:38:29,000
to get closer to the guys.
920
00:38:29,030 --> 00:38:30,920
Roles changed, y'all.
921
00:38:30,950 --> 00:38:34,400
And the one thing I learned,
and I still standby it today,
922
00:38:34,430 --> 00:38:37,380
dammit, is that men treat you as an equal
923
00:38:37,410 --> 00:38:39,530
if you just learn the offsides rule.
924
00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:40,510
- Praise.
925
00:38:40,540 --> 00:38:43,780
- I climbed the social ladder
because I toughened up.
926
00:38:43,810 --> 00:38:45,290
This is me.
927
00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:46,420
Take it or leave it.
928
00:38:46,450 --> 00:38:49,590
I can hang with the boys
and I hang with the girls.
929
00:38:49,620 --> 00:38:52,700
I can watch the Titans
or Bridget Jones Diary.
930
00:38:52,730 --> 00:38:54,550
I can do both and that's great.
931
00:38:54,580 --> 00:38:55,510
And it's okay.
932
00:38:55,540 --> 00:38:58,140
It doesn't mean I want your man's dick!
933
00:38:58,170 --> 00:38:58,973
Okay?
934
00:38:59,003 --> 00:39:00,336
Jesus.
935
00:39:00,740 --> 00:39:02,073
- I'm sorry.
936
00:39:03,610 --> 00:39:05,147
Please, don't cry, Frankie.
937
00:39:05,177 --> 00:39:06,750
- You fuckin' stop crying.
938
00:39:06,780 --> 00:39:08,113
- Okay.
939
00:39:08,730 --> 00:39:10,050
- Hey.
940
00:39:10,080 --> 00:39:11,433
Hey you two.
941
00:39:13,150 --> 00:39:14,657
Hug it out!
942
00:39:17,812 --> 00:39:19,229
Hug it out.
943
00:39:36,003 --> 00:39:38,003
- Are you okay Jill?
944
00:39:39,940 --> 00:39:42,067
- I'm so sorry, y'all.
945
00:39:42,097 --> 00:39:44,040
- You're freaking me out.
946
00:39:44,070 --> 00:39:46,030
- She's got the crazy eyes.
947
00:39:46,060 --> 00:39:48,353
- I'm just like taking it all in.
948
00:39:49,585 --> 00:39:51,002
This is it.
949
00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:55,303
This is not how I thought I'd go.
950
00:39:58,630 --> 00:40:01,003
It's not gonna be quick is it?
951
00:40:06,497 --> 00:40:08,940
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
952
00:40:08,970 --> 00:40:10,613
I just need a minute.
953
00:40:11,343 --> 00:40:12,676
- Okay.
954
00:40:35,006 --> 00:40:35,809
- Oh.
955
00:40:35,839 --> 00:40:37,790
That's nice.
956
00:40:50,540 --> 00:40:51,900
- Safe shelters are being set up
957
00:40:51,930 --> 00:40:53,997
and once they open we will inform you.
958
00:40:54,027 --> 00:40:56,580
For now, do not exit any buildings.
959
00:40:56,610 --> 00:40:58,170
Let's take one more call.
960
00:40:58,200 --> 00:41:01,333
This is WBNA Nashville,
you've got PJ Weller.
961
00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:02,810
- Hi.
962
00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:04,058
Hi.
963
00:41:04,088 --> 00:41:07,580
I'm Sloan, and we're in the building.
964
00:41:07,610 --> 00:41:10,603
No one's coming, are they?
965
00:41:10,940 --> 00:41:12,067
Why isn't anyone sending help?
966
00:41:12,097 --> 00:41:13,170
People can't see.
967
00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:14,563
We can't breathe!
968
00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:21,543
- Holy fucking shit.
969
00:41:25,010 --> 00:41:28,567
I'm gonna starfish the bed
for a little bit, okay,
970
00:41:28,597 --> 00:41:30,713
I just need to clear my head.
971
00:41:32,375 --> 00:41:34,480
- Do what you gotta do, Lo.
972
00:41:34,510 --> 00:41:36,260
We're not going anywhere.
973
00:41:36,720 --> 00:41:38,920
- You don't wanna go to 80s night?
974
00:41:49,831 --> 00:41:51,164
- Oh, hi.
975
00:41:51,780 --> 00:41:52,917
I'm Shannon.
976
00:41:52,947 --> 00:41:56,893
I'm your husband's new publicist, Shannon.
977
00:41:57,240 --> 00:41:59,277
We're gonna be good pals.
978
00:41:59,307 --> 00:42:02,040
You're just so beautiful.
979
00:42:02,070 --> 00:42:03,420
Beautiful, my ass.
980
00:42:03,450 --> 00:42:05,270
Compared to your dumb bitch face
981
00:42:05,300 --> 00:42:07,480
and your dumb bitch fake hair.
982
00:42:07,510 --> 00:42:09,190
Probably clip in extensions.
983
00:42:09,220 --> 00:42:10,370
You don't even have titties!
984
00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:11,417
Screw you Shannon!
985
00:42:11,447 --> 00:42:12,950
No, no.
986
00:42:12,980 --> 00:42:14,130
Fuck you.
987
00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:15,733
Fuck you Shannon.
988
00:42:16,250 --> 00:42:17,220
Fucking redheads.
989
00:42:17,250 --> 00:42:19,090
I can't even fucking get away from them.
990
00:42:19,120 --> 00:42:19,923
I'm sorry.
991
00:42:19,953 --> 00:42:20,756
I'm sorry Payton.
992
00:42:20,786 --> 00:42:22,119
Your probably really nice.
993
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:24,513
- Okay, I'm back.
994
00:42:26,810 --> 00:42:29,063
This sucks.
995
00:42:31,146 --> 00:42:33,229
This fucking sucks.
996
00:42:34,496 --> 00:42:35,829
It sucks.
997
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:38,333
Oh my God.
998
00:42:39,645 --> 00:42:40,978
Bo,
999
00:42:41,865 --> 00:42:44,290
I wish you were here.
1000
00:42:50,419 --> 00:42:51,801
I wish you were here.
1001
00:42:51,831 --> 00:42:54,900
Next time, if you wanna go fishing,
1002
00:42:54,930 --> 00:42:58,800
baby I will go fishing
with you, I promise.
1003
00:42:58,830 --> 00:43:01,580
You know that I love the outdoors,
1004
00:43:01,610 --> 00:43:02,530
I do, I do.
1005
00:43:02,560 --> 00:43:06,920
I just, God, I just, I
don't want to bait the hook,
1006
00:43:06,950 --> 00:43:08,537
you know?
1007
00:43:08,567 --> 00:43:10,947
But I mean I will climb up whatever
1008
00:43:10,977 --> 00:43:12,510
little mountain you want,
1009
00:43:12,540 --> 00:43:15,570
I will wear Tevas for Gods sake.
1010
00:43:15,910 --> 00:43:18,593
That sounds so good right now.
1011
00:43:25,906 --> 00:43:27,239
I'm okay.
1012
00:43:28,811 --> 00:43:30,144
I'm okay.
1013
00:43:33,218 --> 00:43:34,635
Okay, okay.
1014
00:43:38,959 --> 00:43:40,292
I'm okay.
1015
00:43:42,506 --> 00:43:46,050
There is not enough yoga on this planet
1016
00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:49,210
that could prepare me for tonight.
1017
00:43:50,054 --> 00:43:51,387
But baby,
1018
00:43:52,170 --> 00:43:54,063
I am okay.
1019
00:44:01,930 --> 00:44:04,200
- Stacy, you know there aren't cell towers
1020
00:44:04,230 --> 00:44:05,800
behind the dishwasher.
1021
00:44:05,830 --> 00:44:06,970
- I didn't build the grid.
1022
00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:08,493
I don't know where the signals are.
1023
00:44:08,523 --> 00:44:14,023
- This is fucked.
1024
00:44:15,344 --> 00:44:17,500
- This is so fucked.
1025
00:44:17,530 --> 00:44:21,823
This is call Bruce Willis
and Liam Neeson fucked.
1026
00:44:23,970 --> 00:44:26,840
And the Avengers, and the Justice League.
1027
00:44:26,870 --> 00:44:29,953
- Sure, just mix the universes.
1028
00:44:30,333 --> 00:44:31,800
- And the Power Rangers.
1029
00:44:31,830 --> 00:44:33,883
- Oh hell, yes.
1030
00:44:36,990 --> 00:44:38,000
Hey what's that...
1031
00:44:38,030 --> 00:44:39,991
Do you smell something?
1032
00:44:40,021 --> 00:44:43,043
It smells like fresh flowers.
1033
00:44:44,010 --> 00:44:46,123
- That's Santal 26.
1034
00:44:46,940 --> 00:44:49,613
Of course, Melissa has Le Labo candles.
1035
00:44:50,230 --> 00:44:51,480
I want one in here.
1036
00:44:51,510 --> 00:44:54,663
If we're gonna die, we're
gonna smell amazing.
1037
00:45:01,280 --> 00:45:02,810
What the heck?
1038
00:45:02,840 --> 00:45:03,690
What are you doing?
1039
00:45:03,720 --> 00:45:05,810
That was our drinking water!
1040
00:45:05,840 --> 00:45:08,293
- I'm not interested
in what you're saying.
1041
00:45:08,323 --> 00:45:10,770
- What in the actual fuck, Jillian?
1042
00:45:10,800 --> 00:45:12,350
- You do know those candles are worth
1043
00:45:12,380 --> 00:45:14,520
like 100 bucks a piece?
1044
00:45:14,550 --> 00:45:15,580
- Really?
1045
00:45:15,610 --> 00:45:17,163
- Well they are.
1046
00:45:17,733 --> 00:45:19,927
- That explains a lot.
1047
00:45:19,957 --> 00:45:21,700
They smell amazing.
1048
00:45:25,910 --> 00:45:27,503
- I'm taking them.
1049
00:45:29,570 --> 00:45:30,373
- Wait, what?
1050
00:45:30,403 --> 00:45:31,736
What's...
1051
00:45:36,342 --> 00:45:37,675
Jillian!
1052
00:45:39,180 --> 00:45:43,330
- Lo, I'm reading your
article on long distance love.
1053
00:45:43,360 --> 00:45:44,860
You're incredible.
1054
00:45:44,890 --> 00:45:47,420
I'm sorry I never read your magazine.
1055
00:45:47,450 --> 00:45:49,010
I'm a bad friend.
1056
00:45:49,040 --> 00:45:52,560
- Jillian, you just bath
bombed our drinking water.
1057
00:45:52,590 --> 00:45:54,750
You are the worst friend!
1058
00:45:54,780 --> 00:45:57,960
I mean are you trying to kill us?
1059
00:45:57,990 --> 00:45:58,980
- We're gonna die anyway.
1060
00:45:59,010 --> 00:46:02,213
- We're gonna die a lot
faster now, you asshole!
1061
00:46:02,690 --> 00:46:04,383
- I'm doing us a favor.
1062
00:46:09,772 --> 00:46:11,790
- Get out of the tub, I'm
throwing you off the balcony.
1063
00:46:11,820 --> 00:46:12,980
- No, just wait.
1064
00:46:13,010 --> 00:46:17,917
You can fend for yourself
in Chernobyl, Jillian!
1065
00:46:18,540 --> 00:46:20,217
- She's gonna angry cry now.
1066
00:46:20,247 --> 00:46:22,520
You just pissed off white Oprah.
1067
00:46:22,550 --> 00:46:24,063
- Uh, please.
1068
00:46:24,900 --> 00:46:25,760
- Fuck you, Jillian.
1069
00:46:25,790 --> 00:46:27,303
- Oh, shut up.
1070
00:46:28,162 --> 00:46:30,325
- I hope you choke on a dick and die.
1071
00:46:30,355 --> 00:46:33,010
- Where exactly does one find
a dick in the apocalypse?
1072
00:46:33,040 --> 00:46:34,377
- You know what, when I find one,
1073
00:46:34,407 --> 00:46:37,059
I'm gonna shove it down
your selfish throat!
1074
00:46:37,089 --> 00:46:38,460
- I look forward to it.
1075
00:46:38,490 --> 00:46:39,823
- Same.
1076
00:47:04,759 --> 00:47:06,592
- It's okay, Lo.
1077
00:47:08,357 --> 00:47:09,690
- Is it?
1078
00:47:13,512 --> 00:47:14,845
- No.
1079
00:47:15,660 --> 00:47:17,677
No it really isn't.
1080
00:47:17,707 --> 00:47:19,400
Jillian's a bitch, okay?
1081
00:47:19,430 --> 00:47:24,183
And you have been nothing
but amazing to all of us.
1082
00:47:25,050 --> 00:47:27,188
- You've held it together all night.
1083
00:47:27,218 --> 00:47:30,193
You deserve to fall apart if you need to.
1084
00:47:31,141 --> 00:47:34,573
- I just need to hang on
to a little hope, y'all.
1085
00:47:36,468 --> 00:47:40,972
I just need the slightest
possibility of us surviving this.
1086
00:47:41,002 --> 00:47:44,909
Cause I can't handle the
thoughts in my head right now.
1087
00:47:44,939 --> 00:47:47,439
- What are you thinking?
1088
00:47:48,599 --> 00:47:52,099
- That I'm never gonna see Bo again.
1089
00:47:52,655 --> 00:47:54,313
And my mom,
1090
00:47:54,343 --> 00:47:55,926
or my family.
1091
00:47:57,913 --> 00:48:01,793
And what happens if
you run out of insulin?
1092
00:48:03,294 --> 00:48:05,810
- I mean we're all just gonna
have to put up with some shit.
1093
00:48:05,840 --> 00:48:08,830
- Oh my God, is it gonna be like Shelby?
1094
00:48:08,860 --> 00:48:11,130
- No, I am not gonna be like Shelby.
1095
00:48:11,160 --> 00:48:13,110
I fucking hate that movie.
1096
00:48:13,140 --> 00:48:15,840
- That's Jillian's favorite movie.
1097
00:48:15,870 --> 00:48:18,453
- Oh well fuck Jillian.
1098
00:48:18,896 --> 00:48:22,043
The only thing awesome in
that movie is Dolly Parton.
1099
00:48:22,073 --> 00:48:23,406
- Praise.
1100
00:48:28,080 --> 00:48:30,656
- It's still gonna be...
1101
00:48:31,950 --> 00:48:33,483
Not okay.
1102
00:48:34,134 --> 00:48:35,650
- I'm not mad at Jillian.
1103
00:48:35,680 --> 00:48:38,400
- Well, that makes one of us.
1104
00:48:38,430 --> 00:48:39,297
- Me neither.
1105
00:48:39,327 --> 00:48:41,120
What's the point?
1106
00:48:41,150 --> 00:48:42,953
- She's just sad.
1107
00:48:43,580 --> 00:48:44,913
I'm sad, too.
1108
00:48:46,055 --> 00:48:48,450
And if bath bombs make her feel better,
1109
00:48:48,480 --> 00:48:50,723
then I'm glad that she did it.
1110
00:48:51,988 --> 00:48:53,210
- Lo, you amaze me.
1111
00:48:53,240 --> 00:48:56,265
You like can't stay mad at anybody.
1112
00:48:56,295 --> 00:48:58,233
- What's the point?
1113
00:48:59,350 --> 00:49:00,683
- Fair point.
1114
00:49:01,200 --> 00:49:02,670
- Guys...
1115
00:49:03,390 --> 00:49:05,250
- Nobody's mad at you.
1116
00:49:05,280 --> 00:49:06,800
- Seriously?
1117
00:49:06,830 --> 00:49:08,580
- What's the point?
1118
00:49:12,174 --> 00:49:13,507
- Lo.
1119
00:49:14,542 --> 00:49:16,670
I thought I broke you.
1120
00:49:16,700 --> 00:49:17,710
- Don't flatter yourself.
1121
00:49:17,740 --> 00:49:19,643
The potato-haters broke her.
1122
00:49:20,848 --> 00:49:23,330
- You still wanna throw
me off the balcony?
1123
00:49:23,360 --> 00:49:24,693
- Lil bit.
1124
00:49:26,990 --> 00:49:29,608
- God, those candles do
smell really good though.
1125
00:49:29,638 --> 00:49:31,195
- Right.
1126
00:49:32,081 --> 00:49:33,001
- Lo.
1127
00:49:33,031 --> 00:49:34,364
- Hmm?
1128
00:49:35,489 --> 00:49:37,906
- Do you want a cookie?
1129
00:49:41,356 --> 00:49:42,689
- Mm-hmm.
1130
00:49:50,910 --> 00:49:52,243
- Okay.
1131
00:49:52,653 --> 00:49:54,076
Relax.
1132
00:49:54,106 --> 00:49:57,106
She's going to get the cookie.
1133
00:50:13,899 --> 00:50:16,744
- Oh my God.
1134
00:50:16,774 --> 00:50:18,357
It's so good.
1135
00:50:19,303 --> 00:50:20,403
- I'm starting to think you guys
1136
00:50:20,433 --> 00:50:22,867
only keep me around for my cookies.
1137
00:50:22,897 --> 00:50:25,077
- And 'cause you're Abby.
1138
00:50:25,107 --> 00:50:26,260
Duh.
1139
00:50:26,290 --> 00:50:27,900
- Hey.
1140
00:50:27,930 --> 00:50:29,790
I hate to interrupt the
cooter conference here,
1141
00:50:29,820 --> 00:50:33,720
I just wanted to make
sure you guys are okay.
1142
00:50:33,750 --> 00:50:34,879
Okay.
1143
00:50:34,909 --> 00:50:36,242
- Okay.
1144
00:50:37,791 --> 00:50:39,124
- Okay.
1145
00:50:39,810 --> 00:50:40,613
Cool.
1146
00:50:40,643 --> 00:50:43,103
So um, cool.
1147
00:50:43,133 --> 00:50:45,330
What you guys doing in
here, just hanging out,
1148
00:50:45,360 --> 00:50:46,180
eating a cookie?
1149
00:50:46,210 --> 00:50:49,230
You meditating on the toilet?
1150
00:50:49,260 --> 00:50:52,810
- Yes Frankie, because I
typically meditate on the toilet.
1151
00:50:52,840 --> 00:50:55,390
Not on a silk poof in
my beautifully designed
1152
00:50:55,420 --> 00:50:57,227
home yoga studio.
1153
00:51:00,080 --> 00:51:02,497
I miss the Buddha nook.
1154
00:51:03,550 --> 00:51:05,123
- Where's Stacy at?
1155
00:51:05,503 --> 00:51:07,730
- Oh when I left she was
spooning the refrigerator
1156
00:51:07,760 --> 00:51:09,480
looking for signal.
1157
00:51:09,510 --> 00:51:11,332
- I will get a signal.
1158
00:51:11,362 --> 00:51:14,323
- That girl is nothing if not determined.
1159
00:51:14,720 --> 00:51:16,053
- Frankie,
1160
00:51:16,670 --> 00:51:18,780
I never thought that
you slept with Michael.
1161
00:51:18,810 --> 00:51:21,363
You know I didn't mean it, right?
1162
00:51:21,714 --> 00:51:23,261
- Yeah.
1163
00:51:23,291 --> 00:51:24,660
We're all good.
1164
00:51:24,690 --> 00:51:26,023
Just,
1165
00:51:27,560 --> 00:51:30,010
moving on and...
1166
00:51:30,410 --> 00:51:32,150
Don't make it weird.
1167
00:51:32,180 --> 00:51:34,763
Don't make it weird.
1168
00:51:35,281 --> 00:51:37,387
- Stay strong for those boys.
1169
00:51:37,417 --> 00:51:38,517
Let's get one more call.
1170
00:51:38,547 --> 00:51:39,830
Who am I speaking with?
1171
00:51:39,860 --> 00:51:41,703
- Hi, This is Bo.
1172
00:51:42,540 --> 00:51:45,140
I'm calling hoping my girlfriend hears me.
1173
00:51:45,500 --> 00:51:47,810
I don't even know what time it is there.
1174
00:51:47,840 --> 00:51:50,862
Lo, if you hear me, there's
no planes allowed to fly
1175
00:51:50,892 --> 00:51:53,093
into the US right now.
1176
00:51:53,429 --> 00:51:55,910
I'm sorry I can't be there.
1177
00:51:55,940 --> 00:51:57,563
Don't be scared.
1178
00:51:59,060 --> 00:52:00,673
I know you're not.
1179
00:52:01,130 --> 00:52:04,380
If I know you, you're keeping
everyone around you calm.
1180
00:52:04,850 --> 00:52:06,390
I'm at Bezmer Air Base.
1181
00:52:06,420 --> 00:52:07,470
We're listening constantly.
1182
00:52:07,500 --> 00:52:09,870
I'm coming home as soon as I can.
1183
00:52:09,900 --> 00:52:10,703
I love you, Loren.
1184
00:52:10,733 --> 00:52:12,029
I'll see you soon.
1185
00:52:12,059 --> 00:52:16,040
- Loren, if you're listening,
your fella loves you.
1186
00:52:16,070 --> 00:52:17,783
And stay strong, honey.
1187
00:52:19,460 --> 00:52:22,610
- See, not everyone's losing it.
1188
00:52:22,640 --> 00:52:24,890
- Well, Loren's got her hands full.
1189
00:52:30,900 --> 00:52:33,153
- This fucking night.
1190
00:52:38,343 --> 00:52:39,317
- I have a signal!
1191
00:52:39,347 --> 00:52:40,150
I have a signal!
1192
00:52:40,180 --> 00:52:41,330
- What, you do?
1193
00:52:41,360 --> 00:52:42,694
- Fuck!
1194
00:52:42,724 --> 00:52:44,386
False alarm.
1195
00:52:44,416 --> 00:52:45,916
False alarm.
1196
00:52:47,242 --> 00:52:49,893
Do y'all think Mel has weed?
1197
00:52:51,500 --> 00:52:54,833
- Melissa did invest in
solar vapor technology.
1198
00:52:55,870 --> 00:52:57,855
- That is not a real thing.
1199
00:52:57,885 --> 00:53:00,527
- Yeah it is, it's like the future.
1200
00:53:01,020 --> 00:53:02,828
Yeah, space weed.
1201
00:53:02,858 --> 00:53:06,920
Oh wait, I know just
where to look for weed.
1202
00:53:06,950 --> 00:53:08,831
Hold please.
1203
00:53:15,489 --> 00:53:16,698
Oh my God.
1204
00:53:16,728 --> 00:53:17,837
Melissa.
1205
00:53:17,867 --> 00:53:20,678
How many of these shirts did you buy?
1206
00:53:20,708 --> 00:53:22,041
God.
1207
00:53:26,080 --> 00:53:29,553
Oh my God.
1208
00:53:30,550 --> 00:53:31,903
Shut up.
1209
00:53:34,269 --> 00:53:35,769
Oh, jackpot.
1210
00:53:38,740 --> 00:53:41,203
Melissa, what a class act.
1211
00:53:43,524 --> 00:53:46,774
? Wanna get high ?
1212
00:53:50,464 --> 00:53:52,797
- What flavor is this?
1213
00:53:56,120 --> 00:53:58,077
- Purple pajama.
1214
00:53:59,581 --> 00:54:01,863
- I think you mean blue dream.
1215
00:54:03,570 --> 00:54:04,903
- That'll work.
1216
00:54:05,500 --> 00:54:07,091
I have a really good idea.
1217
00:54:07,121 --> 00:54:08,820
- What?
1218
00:54:08,850 --> 00:54:10,840
- What if you don't braid my hair anymore
1219
00:54:10,870 --> 00:54:11,970
and just tousle it?
1220
00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:13,206
- Is that tousling?
1221
00:54:13,236 --> 00:54:14,310
Who says tousle?
1222
00:54:14,340 --> 00:54:15,350
It's like--
1223
00:54:15,380 --> 00:54:16,183
- Harder, harder.
1224
00:54:16,213 --> 00:54:17,016
- Harder?
1225
00:54:17,046 --> 00:54:17,849
- Slower.
1226
00:54:17,879 --> 00:54:18,682
- Slower?
1227
00:54:18,712 --> 00:54:20,096
- Oh.
1228
00:54:20,126 --> 00:54:25,427
- I feel so much better.
1229
00:54:26,078 --> 00:54:27,615
- Right?
1230
00:54:27,645 --> 00:54:30,060
- I've never been high before.
1231
00:54:30,090 --> 00:54:31,665
- Seriously?
1232
00:54:31,695 --> 00:54:33,264
- No one ever pushed.
1233
00:54:33,294 --> 00:54:34,600
- Of course not.
1234
00:54:34,630 --> 00:54:37,010
- I assumed every child
star had tried coke
1235
00:54:37,040 --> 00:54:38,380
past the age of puberty.
1236
00:54:38,410 --> 00:54:39,805
- Nope.
1237
00:54:39,835 --> 00:54:41,450
I've just always been scared.
1238
00:54:41,480 --> 00:54:42,813
- Of weed?
1239
00:54:43,943 --> 00:54:45,990
- Of everything.
1240
00:54:46,020 --> 00:54:48,120
- Well, I am totally stoked that
1241
00:54:48,150 --> 00:54:51,353
the first time you did it is with us.
1242
00:54:53,095 --> 00:54:56,413
- Hashtag me too.
1243
00:54:57,050 --> 00:54:58,680
- No, no.
1244
00:54:58,710 --> 00:55:02,993
- I mean, I am relaxed, y'all.
1245
00:55:05,573 --> 00:55:09,153
I mean I'm still scared, but I'm okay.
1246
00:55:09,183 --> 00:55:11,643
It's beyond my control.
1247
00:55:13,216 --> 00:55:15,503
- Weed makes you rational, Jill.
1248
00:55:16,809 --> 00:55:18,142
- Hush.
1249
00:55:36,689 --> 00:55:38,475
- Jackpot.
1250
00:55:38,505 --> 00:55:40,597
- Are we gonna play hangman?
1251
00:55:40,627 --> 00:55:41,960
- No.
1252
00:55:42,293 --> 00:55:43,650
No you know that piece I
told you I was writing about?
1253
00:55:43,680 --> 00:55:45,680
The piece I was writing.
1254
00:55:45,710 --> 00:55:47,043
For next month.
1255
00:55:48,130 --> 00:55:48,933
Yeah.
1256
00:55:48,963 --> 00:55:50,610
Anyways, no.
1257
00:55:50,640 --> 00:55:52,260
I just feel like I
really need to finish it
1258
00:55:52,290 --> 00:55:53,937
and my battery's about to die,
1259
00:55:53,967 --> 00:55:56,421
so I wanna get a copy on paper, you know?
1260
00:55:56,451 --> 00:55:59,300
- Yeah well my phone's already dead.
1261
00:55:59,330 --> 00:56:00,620
- I left my phone at home.
1262
00:56:00,650 --> 00:56:01,890
- What?
1263
00:56:01,920 --> 00:56:03,620
- What are you gonna do?
1264
00:56:04,170 --> 00:56:05,752
- Look,
1265
00:56:05,782 --> 00:56:08,030
we need to talk about this.
1266
00:56:08,060 --> 00:56:10,160
This is what keeps eating at me.
1267
00:56:11,056 --> 00:56:12,753
When we die,
1268
00:56:13,910 --> 00:56:15,313
does it hurt?
1269
00:56:15,780 --> 00:56:17,573
- Where did you get that?
1270
00:56:18,300 --> 00:56:21,390
You know what, I bet Mel
has enough muscle relaxers
1271
00:56:21,420 --> 00:56:24,225
to where we could just make
a cocktail and go to sleep.
1272
00:56:24,255 --> 00:56:27,590
- If you really wanna make
it quick she's got a gun.
1273
00:56:27,620 --> 00:56:29,343
- Excuse me, what?
1274
00:56:29,850 --> 00:56:30,740
- Oh, yeah.
1275
00:56:30,770 --> 00:56:32,230
I hate to break it to you, Lo,
1276
00:56:32,260 --> 00:56:34,939
but our friend Mel is a Republican.
1277
00:56:34,969 --> 00:56:35,772
- No!
1278
00:56:35,802 --> 00:56:37,360
- Yes.
1279
00:56:37,390 --> 00:56:38,193
- No way.
1280
00:56:38,223 --> 00:56:39,026
- I hate her.
1281
00:56:39,056 --> 00:56:40,337
- No, you don't, she's
one of your best friends.
1282
00:56:40,367 --> 00:56:41,780
- Who left us!
1283
00:56:41,810 --> 00:56:44,710
To die with nothing but pizza and a gun.
1284
00:56:44,740 --> 00:56:47,091
- Okay well she said have at it.
1285
00:56:47,121 --> 00:56:48,530
Mel wanted to get some D.
1286
00:56:48,560 --> 00:56:50,260
The girl needed to be
dicked down before she dies.
1287
00:56:50,290 --> 00:56:52,740
You gotta respect her
for owning that shit.
1288
00:56:52,770 --> 00:56:54,010
- And you're not alone.
1289
00:56:54,040 --> 00:56:57,043
- Yeah, we're gonna die together.
1290
00:56:57,450 --> 00:56:58,253
With pizza.
1291
00:56:58,283 --> 00:56:59,650
- And a gun.
1292
00:56:59,680 --> 00:57:00,483
See!
1293
00:57:00,513 --> 00:57:04,550
- And Stace, now do you see why
Mel didn't use social media?
1294
00:57:04,580 --> 00:57:07,450
It's because it was
better when we didn't know
1295
00:57:07,480 --> 00:57:09,180
our friends political
and religious beliefs.
1296
00:57:09,210 --> 00:57:10,520
Things were just easier.
1297
00:57:10,550 --> 00:57:13,070
There is a beauty in the
unity that it can create.
1298
00:57:13,100 --> 00:57:15,232
You know, I mean it's frickin' amazing
1299
00:57:15,262 --> 00:57:17,670
that we can still keep in
touch with our friends,
1300
00:57:17,700 --> 00:57:19,980
you know, on the other side of the world.
1301
00:57:20,010 --> 00:57:21,433
My God.
1302
00:57:21,890 --> 00:57:24,880
But it also sincerely and tremendously
1303
00:57:24,910 --> 00:57:27,220
damages interpersonal
connections and relationships,
1304
00:57:27,250 --> 00:57:28,583
you know?
1305
00:57:30,060 --> 00:57:31,530
Sometimes I wish I had an off button
1306
00:57:31,560 --> 00:57:33,820
for this verbal diarrhea, but,
1307
00:57:33,850 --> 00:57:36,090
pot just makes me wax intellectual.
1308
00:57:36,120 --> 00:57:37,470
It's a catch 22.
1309
00:57:37,500 --> 00:57:38,780
- Yeah, okay.
1310
00:57:38,810 --> 00:57:40,340
Where'd you get that chocolate?
1311
00:57:40,370 --> 00:57:41,173
- Right here.
1312
00:57:41,203 --> 00:57:44,130
You just like open up a
drawer and chocolate appears.
1313
00:57:44,160 --> 00:57:45,200
Check it.
1314
00:57:45,230 --> 00:57:47,889
- And in her heart, she
voted for Hill, okay?
1315
00:57:47,919 --> 00:57:49,210
You let me have that.
1316
00:57:49,240 --> 00:57:50,613
- Hold please.
1317
00:57:51,130 --> 00:57:52,550
Where is the gun?
1318
00:57:52,580 --> 00:57:53,510
I need to know.
1319
00:57:53,540 --> 00:57:56,238
Statistically, I'm the
most likely to get shot.
1320
00:57:56,268 --> 00:57:58,120
- No one's gonna shoot you.
1321
00:57:58,150 --> 00:58:00,770
- Yeah, no one ever plans
on shooting black people.
1322
00:58:00,800 --> 00:58:02,220
That shit just happens.
1323
00:58:02,250 --> 00:58:04,600
- Okay no one is gonna shoot you, Stacy.
1324
00:58:04,630 --> 00:58:07,800
No one is shooting anyone.
1325
00:58:07,830 --> 00:58:10,591
- What If I asked you to?
1326
00:58:10,621 --> 00:58:12,940
Would you shoot me?
1327
00:58:12,970 --> 00:58:14,330
- No.
1328
00:58:14,360 --> 00:58:15,163
- Okay.
1329
00:58:15,193 --> 00:58:16,200
That settles it.
1330
00:58:16,230 --> 00:58:17,630
- Okay, Stacy,
1331
00:58:17,660 --> 00:58:19,830
I do have a serious question for you.
1332
00:58:19,860 --> 00:58:21,893
- Hashtag safe space?
1333
00:58:23,240 --> 00:58:25,510
- Sure, yeah, that's fine.
1334
00:58:25,540 --> 00:58:26,873
Stacy,
1335
00:58:28,360 --> 00:58:30,010
has your mom
1336
00:58:31,138 --> 00:58:33,382
? Got it going on ?
1337
00:58:33,412 --> 00:58:36,230
- Oh yeah, okay, like I've
never heard that before.
1338
00:58:36,260 --> 00:58:38,470
You know what, this is one of those songs
1339
00:58:38,500 --> 00:58:39,780
that all white people love.
1340
00:58:39,810 --> 00:58:40,613
All of you.
1341
00:58:40,643 --> 00:58:42,450
You love that shit.
1342
00:58:42,480 --> 00:58:43,833
Get off of me.
1343
00:58:44,825 --> 00:58:47,898
- That's how we danced
to it in eighth grade.
1344
00:58:49,046 --> 00:58:51,060
- No you didn't.
1345
00:59:03,081 --> 00:59:05,239
- Signal?
1346
00:59:05,269 --> 00:59:06,700
- No.
1347
00:59:06,730 --> 00:59:08,163
I'm almost dead.
1348
00:59:09,090 --> 00:59:10,720
Well, the phone.
1349
00:59:10,750 --> 00:59:12,052
Not me.
1350
00:59:12,082 --> 00:59:13,453
Not yet.
1351
00:59:15,235 --> 00:59:17,785
I was just looking at pictures of my mom.
1352
00:59:18,129 --> 00:59:21,980
We normally talk everyday,
and of course today we didn't.
1353
00:59:22,010 --> 00:59:23,630
- She knows.
1354
00:59:23,660 --> 00:59:25,250
Moms have that kinda instinct.
1355
00:59:25,280 --> 00:59:27,683
- How old were you when you lost your mom?
1356
00:59:28,410 --> 00:59:32,383
- I had just turned four the
week before the accident.
1357
00:59:34,630 --> 00:59:37,363
I have the vaguest memory of her.
1358
00:59:38,290 --> 00:59:41,770
I was sick, and she came in
1359
00:59:41,800 --> 00:59:47,040
and put a cold cloth on my
head when I had a fever.
1360
00:59:47,070 --> 00:59:50,746
And she had these big blue eyes that said
1361
00:59:50,776 --> 00:59:53,093
everything's gonna be okay.
1362
00:59:54,048 --> 00:59:56,520
- That is the sweetest
thing I have ever heard
1363
00:59:56,550 --> 00:59:58,493
come out of your foul mouth.
1364
01:00:00,620 --> 01:00:01,777
- What about you Stace?
1365
01:00:01,807 --> 01:00:03,740
You never talk about your mom.
1366
01:00:03,770 --> 01:00:05,383
- We don't talk much.
1367
01:00:05,940 --> 01:00:06,743
- Why not?
1368
01:00:06,773 --> 01:00:10,810
I mean, who is Stacy's mom,
and does she have it going on?
1369
01:00:10,840 --> 01:00:14,520
- Stacy's mom is a very religious
woman from the 9th Ward.
1370
01:00:14,550 --> 01:00:16,180
She used to be married to a pastor,
1371
01:00:16,210 --> 01:00:19,983
and a gay daughter was
too much to deal with.
1372
01:00:20,929 --> 01:00:23,393
- You have a gay sister?
1373
01:00:25,460 --> 01:00:26,793
- Jill,
1374
01:00:27,130 --> 01:00:28,837
I am so proud.
1375
01:00:28,867 --> 01:00:31,193
I'm seeing a lot of growth.
1376
01:00:31,760 --> 01:00:33,730
If I had a gold star,
I would give you one.
1377
01:00:33,760 --> 01:00:36,134
- Go on, Stace.
1378
01:00:36,164 --> 01:00:37,150
- Okay.
1379
01:00:37,180 --> 01:00:41,063
So my mom ended up
divorcing my dad over it.
1380
01:00:41,550 --> 01:00:43,260
They were always fighting over me.
1381
01:00:43,290 --> 01:00:45,141
So I perpetuated it.
1382
01:00:45,171 --> 01:00:46,863
- What do you mean?
1383
01:00:47,329 --> 01:00:49,770
- I would always embellish,
1384
01:00:49,800 --> 01:00:51,950
to see how far I could push them.
1385
01:00:52,500 --> 01:00:54,547
I know it's fucked up, but...
1386
01:00:54,577 --> 01:00:57,663
Y'all probably think I'm
a terrible person, huh?
1387
01:00:58,300 --> 01:00:59,103
- No.
1388
01:00:59,133 --> 01:01:01,630
I think you were a kid
who needed attention.
1389
01:01:01,660 --> 01:01:03,243
- I appreciate that.
1390
01:01:04,294 --> 01:01:08,263
But look, y'all, being gay is one thing,
1391
01:01:09,100 --> 01:01:12,943
but being black and gay, in the south,
1392
01:01:13,456 --> 01:01:15,343
that shit's not okay.
1393
01:01:15,940 --> 01:01:17,276
Not yet.
1394
01:01:17,306 --> 01:01:20,130
It's just a recipe for scrutiny.
1395
01:01:20,160 --> 01:01:23,230
And I know my mom loves me,
that's why she left my dad,
1396
01:01:23,260 --> 01:01:24,350
but I just...
1397
01:01:24,380 --> 01:01:26,380
- Okay, strictly speaking
from a third party
1398
01:01:26,410 --> 01:01:29,230
outside objective observer
journalistic perspective,
1399
01:01:29,260 --> 01:01:31,660
it sounds to me like
your mom wants to have
1400
01:01:31,690 --> 01:01:32,720
a relationship with her daughter
1401
01:01:32,750 --> 01:01:35,260
but she's too afraid to challenge
the patriarchal traditions
1402
01:01:35,290 --> 01:01:37,340
under which she was brought up.
1403
01:01:37,720 --> 01:01:39,053
Under.
1404
01:01:39,530 --> 01:01:40,900
Up under?
1405
01:01:40,930 --> 01:01:42,420
- Yeah, that sounds about right.
1406
01:01:42,450 --> 01:01:43,253
- Is that it?
1407
01:01:43,283 --> 01:01:45,500
- Strictly speaking from a
journalistic perspective,
1408
01:01:45,530 --> 01:01:48,250
you ended that sentence
with like 19 prepositions.
1409
01:01:48,280 --> 01:01:50,220
- Oh my God, I know!
1410
01:01:50,250 --> 01:01:52,813
Fuck, weed kills my grammar.
1411
01:01:54,470 --> 01:01:57,540
- Also, I have something.
1412
01:01:57,570 --> 01:01:58,960
Clean conscience incoming.
1413
01:01:58,990 --> 01:02:01,473
I have had a crush on Frankie for years.
1414
01:02:03,033 --> 01:02:04,240
- Me?
1415
01:02:04,270 --> 01:02:05,073
- Yes.
1416
01:02:05,103 --> 01:02:07,330
This makes so much sense to me.
1417
01:02:07,360 --> 01:02:09,711
- I'm flattered, Stace.
1418
01:02:09,741 --> 01:02:12,560
I know I'm not the girliest of girls,
1419
01:02:12,590 --> 01:02:16,230
but I do still like the P in my V.
1420
01:02:16,260 --> 01:02:17,593
- I know.
1421
01:02:18,460 --> 01:02:20,010
I just admire you.
1422
01:02:20,040 --> 01:02:22,490
You don't care what other people think.
1423
01:02:22,520 --> 01:02:24,678
I care so much I hide,
1424
01:02:24,708 --> 01:02:27,599
and I lose myself in other people's lives.
1425
01:02:27,629 --> 01:02:31,423
Other people's drama means I
don't have to focus on mine.
1426
01:02:32,000 --> 01:02:33,100
- That's heavy, Stace.
1427
01:02:33,130 --> 01:02:35,150
And how did you come to that conclusion?
1428
01:02:35,180 --> 01:02:36,513
- Therapy.
1429
01:02:36,854 --> 01:02:38,513
- You know what?
1430
01:02:39,135 --> 01:02:40,310
Fuck it.
1431
01:02:40,340 --> 01:02:41,143
Come on.
1432
01:02:41,173 --> 01:02:41,976
- What?
1433
01:02:42,006 --> 01:02:44,540
- You think I want Tinder
Todd to be my last kiss?
1434
01:02:44,570 --> 01:02:45,373
Gross.
1435
01:02:45,403 --> 01:02:47,570
You know what, you never know.
1436
01:02:47,600 --> 01:02:49,970
I've never tried it.
1437
01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:51,560
- Are you serious?
1438
01:02:51,590 --> 01:02:52,923
- Educate me.
1439
01:02:55,404 --> 01:02:57,753
- Um, okay.
1440
01:03:00,657 --> 01:03:02,063
- Oh my God.
1441
01:03:02,526 --> 01:03:04,760
That was so cute.
1442
01:03:04,790 --> 01:03:09,150
- So, should we make out?
1443
01:03:09,180 --> 01:03:10,670
- No, hon.
1444
01:03:10,700 --> 01:03:13,763
No, you are just very high.
1445
01:03:14,370 --> 01:03:15,703
- Yeah.
1446
01:03:16,210 --> 01:03:17,490
Okay.
1447
01:03:17,520 --> 01:03:20,007
- Aren't we like supposed
to go in a closet?
1448
01:03:20,037 --> 01:03:22,593
- I'm never going back in the closet.
1449
01:03:25,070 --> 01:03:28,520
- So have you ever slept with a man?
1450
01:03:28,550 --> 01:03:29,883
- Nope.
1451
01:03:31,170 --> 01:03:32,550
- Are you still a virgin?
1452
01:03:32,580 --> 01:03:35,013
- No, Frankie, I'm not a virgin.
1453
01:03:36,563 --> 01:03:38,788
- Who did you lose your virginity to?
1454
01:03:38,818 --> 01:03:39,621
Tell me.
1455
01:03:39,651 --> 01:03:42,340
- Since when do you want
all the juicy details?
1456
01:03:42,370 --> 01:03:43,173
- You're rubbing off on me.
1457
01:03:43,203 --> 01:03:44,536
Kiss and tell.
1458
01:03:45,792 --> 01:03:48,010
- Oh, I'll never forget it.
1459
01:03:48,040 --> 01:03:50,145
I still have the box it came in.
1460
01:03:51,069 --> 01:03:53,200
- Oh my God, you just made Loren so proud.
1461
01:03:53,230 --> 01:03:54,560
You have to tell her.
1462
01:03:54,590 --> 01:03:56,850
With Bo in Bulgaria she is all about
1463
01:03:56,880 --> 01:03:58,410
taking care of yourself.
1464
01:03:58,440 --> 01:04:01,553
- Oh, you meant with another person?
1465
01:04:01,960 --> 01:04:04,073
Yeah, I've done that too.
1466
01:04:05,100 --> 01:04:08,363
Her name was Grace Starring.
1467
01:04:09,002 --> 01:04:10,673
I was 17.
1468
01:04:11,510 --> 01:04:12,937
- Where were you?
1469
01:04:13,663 --> 01:04:15,703
- Degayification camp.
1470
01:04:16,730 --> 01:04:18,590
I wish I was making that shit up.
1471
01:04:18,620 --> 01:04:19,423
- My God.
1472
01:04:19,453 --> 01:04:20,256
I love you so much.
1473
01:04:20,286 --> 01:04:21,619
That is fantastic.
1474
01:04:25,160 --> 01:04:27,527
Alright, lay one on me.
1475
01:04:27,557 --> 01:04:28,840
- Geez, Frankie.
1476
01:04:28,870 --> 01:04:30,297
You're so romantic.
1477
01:04:30,327 --> 01:04:32,230
- You gonna kiss me or not?
1478
01:04:32,260 --> 01:04:33,780
- Okay.
1479
01:04:33,810 --> 01:04:38,730
So, I'm like really good at it.
1480
01:04:38,760 --> 01:04:40,288
You should be warned.
1481
01:04:40,318 --> 01:04:44,293
I'm not trying to convert
you, but it's happened.
1482
01:04:44,323 --> 01:04:46,210
You should know this.
1483
01:04:46,549 --> 01:04:47,882
- Please.
1484
01:05:20,810 --> 01:05:22,560
- Well?
1485
01:05:23,360 --> 01:05:27,953
- Frankie Giffin relationship
status, update, bi-curious.
1486
01:05:36,810 --> 01:05:39,876
- Y'all are gonna wanna
kiss Stacy before you die.
1487
01:05:39,906 --> 01:05:40,800
And we don't have much time left
1488
01:05:40,830 --> 01:05:42,420
so you're gonna wanna go
ahead and make a line.
1489
01:05:42,450 --> 01:05:44,773
- The line of two people.
1490
01:05:48,400 --> 01:05:49,733
- Boom.
1491
01:05:52,040 --> 01:05:53,530
Too soon?
1492
01:05:53,560 --> 01:05:54,893
- Little bit.
1493
01:06:12,670 --> 01:06:13,770
- I have a question.
1494
01:06:13,800 --> 01:06:15,133
- Hmm?
1495
01:06:17,070 --> 01:06:17,873
- Would you rather--
1496
01:06:17,903 --> 01:06:18,860
- No.
- No.
1497
01:06:18,890 --> 01:06:21,300
- Just humor me, okay,
it's the end of the world.
1498
01:06:21,330 --> 01:06:26,830
Would you rather have a
very, very sensitive scrotum
1499
01:06:31,230 --> 01:06:34,283
hanging from your chin,
1500
01:06:35,130 --> 01:06:39,583
or, shit out of your ear?
1501
01:06:40,264 --> 01:06:42,210
- It only gets worse.
1502
01:06:42,240 --> 01:06:44,973
Every fucking time.
1503
01:06:45,590 --> 01:06:48,163
- It's a rare talent.
1504
01:06:48,193 --> 01:06:49,780
- Somebody sees the genius.
1505
01:06:49,810 --> 01:06:50,613
- Oh yeah?
1506
01:06:50,643 --> 01:06:52,140
Okay what if you sharted out of your ear?
1507
01:06:52,170 --> 01:06:53,877
You know you'd go...
1508
01:06:55,138 --> 01:06:56,563
- I found the gun.
1509
01:06:57,290 --> 01:06:58,490
- What the fuck Jillian?
1510
01:06:58,520 --> 01:06:59,890
- All right, you know what, Jill,
1511
01:06:59,920 --> 01:07:01,764
why don't you just give that to me?
1512
01:07:01,794 --> 01:07:02,597
- Why?
1513
01:07:02,627 --> 01:07:04,466
I'm not gonna shoot anybody!
1514
01:07:04,496 --> 01:07:05,673
- Jill, give Frankie the gun.
1515
01:07:05,703 --> 01:07:08,450
- Why do you guys treat me
like a fragile little lamb?
1516
01:07:08,480 --> 01:07:09,960
I am not unstable!
1517
01:07:09,990 --> 01:07:11,012
- No one's saying that.
- Yes you are.
1518
01:07:11,042 --> 01:07:12,240
Just give it to me.
- There's a gun in your hand.
1519
01:07:12,270 --> 01:07:14,335
- So hey, give it to Frankie okay, please?
1520
01:07:14,365 --> 01:07:17,474
- You're about to see the beast unleashed.
1521
01:07:17,504 --> 01:07:18,837
Fuck.
1522
01:07:22,357 --> 01:07:24,113
Screw you guys.
1523
01:07:25,670 --> 01:07:26,790
- Unleash the beast!
1524
01:07:26,820 --> 01:07:28,296
- It's not funny!
1525
01:07:29,462 --> 01:07:31,035
- Okay, all
right, all right, all right.
1526
01:07:31,065 --> 01:07:32,462
Hand me the gun.
1527
01:07:32,492 --> 01:07:33,495
Drop it.
1528
01:07:33,525 --> 01:07:34,858
Drop it.
1529
01:07:35,760 --> 01:07:38,420
- Jillian, what if there
was people down there?
1530
01:07:38,450 --> 01:07:39,900
- I didn't mean to.
1531
01:07:43,500 --> 01:07:44,571
- Hello?
1532
01:07:44,601 --> 01:07:46,950
- What if the windows are open down there?
1533
01:07:46,980 --> 01:07:48,973
Jillian you're letting poisonous air in!
1534
01:07:49,003 --> 01:07:49,806
- It was an accident!
1535
01:07:49,836 --> 01:07:51,230
- All right, we need to seal this, okay?
1536
01:07:51,260 --> 01:07:52,963
Somebody find something.
1537
01:07:53,794 --> 01:07:56,193
Other than your ass, Frankie.
1538
01:08:03,260 --> 01:08:04,704
- I have a dildo.
1539
01:08:04,734 --> 01:08:06,249
- I have washi tape.
1540
01:08:06,279 --> 01:08:07,903
- I have Lysol.
1541
01:08:12,720 --> 01:08:13,523
- Peen.
1542
01:08:13,553 --> 01:08:15,200
- Peen.
1543
01:08:17,870 --> 01:08:18,810
- Tape.
1544
01:08:18,840 --> 01:08:20,190
- Tape.
1545
01:08:29,940 --> 01:08:30,743
- Praise.
1546
01:08:30,773 --> 01:08:31,576
- Praise.
1547
01:08:31,606 --> 01:08:32,939
- Praise.
1548
01:08:40,750 --> 01:08:42,413
Don't trip on it.
1549
01:08:43,460 --> 01:08:45,140
- Don't shoot anything else.
1550
01:08:45,170 --> 01:08:46,100
- I won't.
1551
01:08:46,130 --> 01:08:47,743
I'm sorry.
1552
01:08:48,290 --> 01:08:50,790
- We should light it for safety.
1553
01:08:59,550 --> 01:09:00,967
- Lo, I'm sorry.
1554
01:09:00,997 --> 01:09:02,330
- No, don't.
1555
01:09:03,260 --> 01:09:04,593
It's fine.
1556
01:09:07,499 --> 01:09:09,020
Were there more bath bombs?
1557
01:09:09,050 --> 01:09:12,038
- Oh, yeah, there was three or four more.
1558
01:09:12,068 --> 01:09:13,860
- Was the water still warm?
1559
01:09:13,890 --> 01:09:14,693
- It was hot.
1560
01:09:14,723 --> 01:09:15,770
It's probably still warm.
1561
01:09:15,800 --> 01:09:18,870
- Okay so I am gonna go
put another bath bomb
1562
01:09:18,900 --> 01:09:21,353
in what is now strictly our flushing water
1563
01:09:21,383 --> 01:09:23,190
and I'm gonna soak in it.
1564
01:09:23,220 --> 01:09:25,702
And don't make a thing out of it.
1565
01:09:25,732 --> 01:09:26,630
- Gross.
1566
01:09:26,660 --> 01:09:27,600
- No, it's not gross.
1567
01:09:27,630 --> 01:09:29,640
Shitting out of your ear is gross.
1568
01:09:29,670 --> 01:09:30,850
Plus, Jill doesn't have cooties
1569
01:09:30,880 --> 01:09:32,670
and if you cut out the
would-you-rather questions
1570
01:09:32,700 --> 01:09:35,300
I might let you go after me.
1571
01:09:35,330 --> 01:09:37,293
- Yeah hard pass.
1572
01:09:49,609 --> 01:09:52,831
- Four Women in The End by Loren Atwood.
1573
01:09:52,861 --> 01:09:54,415
It's a Thursday night.
1574
01:09:54,445 --> 01:09:57,530
Every other Thursday
night is girls' night in.
1575
01:09:57,560 --> 01:10:00,940
My circle of friends, we meet
up at our dear friend's condo.
1576
01:10:00,970 --> 01:10:02,560
It's a safe space.
1577
01:10:02,590 --> 01:10:03,570
We gossip.
1578
01:10:03,600 --> 01:10:05,180
We confide.
1579
01:10:05,210 --> 01:10:08,013
We cherish these Thursdays in Nashville.
1580
01:10:08,540 --> 01:10:10,470
Tonight, Music City was one of five
1581
01:10:10,500 --> 01:10:12,303
American cities attacked.
1582
01:10:12,840 --> 01:10:13,900
We don't know why.
1583
01:10:13,930 --> 01:10:15,440
We don't know who.
1584
01:10:15,470 --> 01:10:16,803
Not yet.
1585
01:10:17,190 --> 01:10:18,590
We may never know.
1586
01:10:19,580 --> 01:10:21,083
There's sickness.
1587
01:10:21,460 --> 01:10:23,040
There's fear.
1588
01:10:23,070 --> 01:10:25,418
We're on the 14th floor of a high rise,
1589
01:10:25,448 --> 01:10:27,130
and it's almost Christmas.
1590
01:10:27,160 --> 01:10:28,550
The building is half empty,
1591
01:10:28,580 --> 01:10:31,050
and some panicked and ran outside.
1592
01:10:31,080 --> 01:10:33,110
The walls rattled as they stampeded
1593
01:10:33,140 --> 01:10:35,733
like a wild herd down the stairs.
1594
01:10:36,090 --> 01:10:38,603
But others, like us, stayed put.
1595
01:10:39,020 --> 01:10:41,920
Because outside the air
is too toxic to breathe.
1596
01:10:42,650 --> 01:10:45,083
We are terrified.
1597
01:10:45,470 --> 01:10:48,430
But we are not alone.
1598
01:10:48,460 --> 01:10:50,610
There's our domestic darling.
1599
01:10:50,640 --> 01:10:51,890
She used to be a child star
1600
01:10:51,920 --> 01:10:54,880
and she always brings us
homemade snicker doodles.
1601
01:10:54,910 --> 01:10:57,640
And she wants a baby,
though she never had one.
1602
01:10:57,670 --> 01:10:59,460
But she's in a place
where she can share this
1603
01:10:59,490 --> 01:11:00,800
and nobody judges her.
1604
01:11:00,830 --> 01:11:04,400
Instead, we rave about her baking skills,
1605
01:11:04,430 --> 01:11:07,010
and we tell her we love
her, because we do.
1606
01:11:07,040 --> 01:11:08,524
There's our guy's girl.
1607
01:11:08,554 --> 01:11:10,840
We are her only girl friends.
1608
01:11:10,870 --> 01:11:12,313
We trust her.
1609
01:11:12,343 --> 01:11:15,510
She makes us laugh with her weird humor.
1610
01:11:15,540 --> 01:11:17,670
Occasionally she'll show her soft side
1611
01:11:17,700 --> 01:11:20,230
because she knows she can around us.
1612
01:11:20,260 --> 01:11:22,130
And she's unapologetically herself.
1613
01:11:22,160 --> 01:11:24,860
And for that we applaud her.
1614
01:11:24,890 --> 01:11:27,090
And we tell her we love her,
1615
01:11:27,120 --> 01:11:28,453
because we do.
1616
01:11:28,910 --> 01:11:31,666
Like every group, we've got a drama queen.
1617
01:11:31,696 --> 01:11:34,470
Our drama queen loves to gossip.
1618
01:11:34,500 --> 01:11:37,080
And since we've come to
terms with our own mortality,
1619
01:11:37,110 --> 01:11:39,684
we've learned a lot
about each other tonight.
1620
01:11:39,714 --> 01:11:41,630
We listen to her stories.
1621
01:11:41,660 --> 01:11:43,100
We share her heartbreak.
1622
01:11:43,130 --> 01:11:44,190
We indulge her.
1623
01:11:44,220 --> 01:11:45,588
We accept her.
1624
01:11:45,618 --> 01:11:48,246
We even tolerate the Kardashians.
1625
01:11:48,276 --> 01:11:50,653
And we tell her we love her,
1626
01:11:50,683 --> 01:11:52,373
because we do.
1627
01:11:52,977 --> 01:11:55,550
Our career girl owns more property than
1628
01:11:55,580 --> 01:11:56,866
all of us combined.
1629
01:11:56,896 --> 01:11:59,687
She's the definition of a boss bitch.
1630
01:11:59,717 --> 01:12:03,000
This isn't the first time
I've written about her.
1631
01:12:03,030 --> 01:12:05,270
She makes time for us every other Thursday
1632
01:12:05,300 --> 01:12:07,070
as we invade her condo.
1633
01:12:07,100 --> 01:12:08,500
She orders a feast.
1634
01:12:08,530 --> 01:12:09,920
She turns off her phone.
1635
01:12:09,950 --> 01:12:10,860
She vents.
1636
01:12:10,890 --> 01:12:12,258
She brags.
1637
01:12:12,288 --> 01:12:15,983
She encourages us all to
be the best that we can be.
1638
01:12:16,360 --> 01:12:19,673
Tonight she left us and she
went to be with her lover.
1639
01:12:21,030 --> 01:12:22,430
We may never see her again.
1640
01:12:22,460 --> 01:12:26,110
But she left us food and
water, an emergency radio,
1641
01:12:26,140 --> 01:12:30,623
four Le Labo candles, and a
ridiculously comfortable bed.
1642
01:12:32,030 --> 01:12:33,729
We're not mad.
1643
01:12:33,759 --> 01:12:35,663
We want her to be happy.
1644
01:12:36,230 --> 01:12:38,110
And we tell her we love her,
1645
01:12:38,140 --> 01:12:39,370
because we do.
1646
01:12:39,400 --> 01:12:40,970
Then there's me.
1647
01:12:41,000 --> 01:12:43,820
I write articles like this
to show that as women,
1648
01:12:43,850 --> 01:12:47,170
we can't fix the world, and
we can't fix each other,
1649
01:12:47,200 --> 01:12:50,343
but we can make a difference.
1650
01:12:51,000 --> 01:12:54,462
There's a power that's really
hard to describe at play here.
1651
01:12:54,492 --> 01:12:58,250
It happens when women refuse
to compete with each other,
1652
01:12:58,280 --> 01:13:00,700
and instead we lift each other up.
1653
01:13:00,730 --> 01:13:01,760
We listen.
1654
01:13:01,790 --> 01:13:02,960
We commiserate.
1655
01:13:02,990 --> 01:13:04,050
We collaborate.
1656
01:13:04,080 --> 01:13:05,040
We empathize.
1657
01:13:05,070 --> 01:13:06,110
We sympathize.
1658
01:13:06,140 --> 01:13:09,973
And dammit, we survive.
1659
01:13:13,230 --> 01:13:15,630
A while back talks of an all female reboot
1660
01:13:15,660 --> 01:13:18,150
of Lord of the Flies was
circulating Hollywood.
1661
01:13:18,180 --> 01:13:20,588
Twitter blew up with
responses and confusion.
1662
01:13:20,618 --> 01:13:23,200
How the hell was that supposed to work?
1663
01:13:23,230 --> 01:13:24,810
Some said that it would just be women
1664
01:13:24,840 --> 01:13:26,830
sitting around apologizing to each other
1665
01:13:26,860 --> 01:13:27,930
'til they're dead.
1666
01:13:27,960 --> 01:13:30,423
After tonight, I can see why.
1667
01:13:31,870 --> 01:13:37,010
See, this is the all female
version of Lord of the Flies,
1668
01:13:37,040 --> 01:13:39,810
except, our desert island is a condo
1669
01:13:39,840 --> 01:13:41,740
in a Nashville high rise.
1670
01:13:41,770 --> 01:13:45,053
And still, we are not taking sides.
1671
01:13:45,083 --> 01:13:47,940
Instead we are doing
what my favorite tweet
1672
01:13:47,970 --> 01:13:49,980
said about the reboot,
and it may not be exact,
1673
01:13:50,010 --> 01:13:51,700
but I don't have the
power to check my sources.
1674
01:13:51,730 --> 01:13:54,906
But it's damn close.
1675
01:13:54,936 --> 01:13:58,298
And I quote, "An all
female Lord of The Flies
1676
01:13:58,328 --> 01:13:59,733
"could never work.
1677
01:13:59,763 --> 01:14:01,827
"There would be no conflict,
1678
01:14:01,857 --> 01:14:03,397
"and it would essentially
become the island
1679
01:14:03,427 --> 01:14:05,477
"that Wonder Woman grew up on."
1680
01:14:05,820 --> 01:14:07,430
Hell yeah, it would.
1681
01:14:07,460 --> 01:14:11,440
So, when the dust finally settles
1682
01:14:11,470 --> 01:14:13,810
and the air clears,
1683
01:14:13,840 --> 01:14:15,873
maybe this is paradise island.
1684
01:14:16,900 --> 01:14:19,500
Who knows what will rise from these ruins?
1685
01:14:19,890 --> 01:14:21,917
One thing that I do know,
1686
01:14:21,947 --> 01:14:24,497
is there's four of us left on the island.
1687
01:14:25,000 --> 01:14:26,740
There's no Jack here.
1688
01:14:26,770 --> 01:14:29,780
No Ralph or Simon or Piggy.
1689
01:14:29,810 --> 01:14:35,310
But there's certainly more
than one Wonder Woman.
1690
01:14:43,065 --> 01:14:45,040
- What do you think?
1691
01:14:45,070 --> 01:14:46,650
- You made her eyes cry.
1692
01:14:46,680 --> 01:14:48,300
- Oh Frankie, don't cry.
1693
01:14:48,330 --> 01:14:49,910
Oh my God.
1694
01:14:49,940 --> 01:14:52,090
- I can't believe that no one
is gonna see that in print.
1695
01:14:52,120 --> 01:14:55,030
Oh my God, you have to
get it to Boss Bitch.
1696
01:14:55,060 --> 01:14:56,540
- You have to get it to the radio station.
1697
01:14:56,570 --> 01:14:58,243
- You have to.
1698
01:14:59,540 --> 01:15:00,656
- I love you guys.
1699
01:15:00,686 --> 01:15:01,489
- I love you, too.
1700
01:15:01,519 --> 01:15:03,140
- Love you, too.
1701
01:15:03,170 --> 01:15:04,820
- I love you guys, too.
1702
01:15:10,810 --> 01:15:12,110
- Hey you guys wanna
try and get some sleep?
1703
01:15:12,140 --> 01:15:14,090
It's getting kinda cold, huh?
1704
01:15:14,760 --> 01:15:16,093
- Yeah.
1705
01:15:38,980 --> 01:15:40,580
- Would anyone like to explain why there's
1706
01:15:40,610 --> 01:15:43,498
a very large penis taped
to my kitchen floor?
1707
01:15:48,265 --> 01:15:49,849
- What are you doing here?
1708
01:15:49,879 --> 01:15:51,410
- You have to admit that was pretty good.
1709
01:15:51,440 --> 01:15:52,243
- It wasn't funny.
1710
01:15:52,273 --> 01:15:53,394
- Mel!
1711
01:15:53,424 --> 01:15:55,060
- What are you doing here?
1712
01:15:55,090 --> 01:15:56,770
- Well number one, I live here,
1713
01:15:56,800 --> 01:15:58,070
and two, you didn't think I was gonna
1714
01:15:58,100 --> 01:15:59,650
leave you girls behind did you?
1715
01:15:59,680 --> 01:16:01,090
- Well...
1716
01:16:01,120 --> 01:16:02,090
- No!
1717
01:16:02,120 --> 01:16:04,960
No I have a lesbian
level love for you girls,
1718
01:16:04,990 --> 01:16:06,140
you know this.
1719
01:16:06,170 --> 01:16:08,508
- So does Stacy!
1720
01:16:08,538 --> 01:16:10,233
- And maybe Frankie.
1721
01:16:10,263 --> 01:16:11,600
- Meh.
1722
01:16:11,630 --> 01:16:12,433
- Meh?
1723
01:16:12,463 --> 01:16:13,900
What do you mean meh?
1724
01:16:13,930 --> 01:16:15,691
Scoot over, get out of my bed.
1725
01:16:15,721 --> 01:16:17,987
Get out of my bed, get out of my bed.
1726
01:16:18,017 --> 01:16:19,205
- Don't let her in!
1727
01:16:19,235 --> 01:16:20,040
- Really cozy.
1728
01:16:20,070 --> 01:16:21,609
- So how was the D?
1729
01:16:21,639 --> 01:16:22,990
- Yes, details, please.
1730
01:16:23,020 --> 01:16:24,617
- Oh lady never tells.
1731
01:16:24,647 --> 01:16:25,450
- Oh come.
1732
01:16:25,480 --> 01:16:26,457
- Nothing happened.
1733
01:16:26,487 --> 01:16:27,788
- Nothing happened?
1734
01:16:27,818 --> 01:16:29,870
- We cuddled and ate an MRE.
1735
01:16:29,900 --> 01:16:31,020
- You cuddled?
1736
01:16:31,050 --> 01:16:33,079
You can't get that glow from a cuddle.
1737
01:16:34,041 --> 01:16:35,330
- Standard cuddle glove.
1738
01:16:35,360 --> 01:16:37,423
- Standard cuddle glove.
1739
01:16:38,300 --> 01:16:39,633
- SCG.
1740
01:16:44,670 --> 01:16:47,610
- Okay, we have this, plus and
a few more gallons of water.
1741
01:16:47,640 --> 01:16:48,773
It's all Greg's shit.
1742
01:16:48,803 --> 01:16:51,123
He said we should just take it.
1743
01:16:51,680 --> 01:16:53,971
Chicken pesto pasta.
1744
01:16:54,001 --> 01:16:55,550
- Where is he?
1745
01:16:55,580 --> 01:16:56,420
- I have no idea.
1746
01:16:56,450 --> 01:16:57,870
He wouldn't tell me where he was going
1747
01:16:57,900 --> 01:17:00,590
and I couldn't go with him.
1748
01:17:00,620 --> 01:17:03,170
I didn't want to hide in a bunker, gross.
1749
01:17:04,530 --> 01:17:05,630
- You have service?
1750
01:17:05,660 --> 01:17:06,895
- No, I was just checking.
1751
01:17:06,925 --> 01:17:08,090
I don't think so.
1752
01:17:08,120 --> 01:17:09,380
- You still have battery?
1753
01:17:09,410 --> 01:17:14,910
- Oh yeah, these shark tank
lanterns have USB cords.
1754
01:17:15,000 --> 01:17:16,333
- What?
1755
01:17:18,090 --> 01:17:19,380
- Hey did you guys get the radio to work?
1756
01:17:19,410 --> 01:17:21,510
Have you been listening
to what's going on?
1757
01:17:21,540 --> 01:17:22,521
- Some.
1758
01:17:22,551 --> 01:17:23,650
That shit's depressing.
1759
01:17:23,680 --> 01:17:27,150
- Hey, if we ration, we
have enough for a week.
1760
01:17:27,180 --> 01:17:29,030
They're saying a rain
storm's coming tomorrow,
1761
01:17:29,060 --> 01:17:31,600
which is gonna help clear the air.
1762
01:17:31,630 --> 01:17:32,910
And then in a few more days they're gonna
1763
01:17:32,940 --> 01:17:34,120
start rescue missions.
1764
01:17:34,150 --> 01:17:35,483
- Wait, really?
1765
01:17:35,984 --> 01:17:37,317
- Really.
1766
01:17:38,623 --> 01:17:40,683
- How many people died?
1767
01:17:43,800 --> 01:17:44,690
- A lot, Jilly.
1768
01:17:44,720 --> 01:17:46,203
A lot of people.
1769
01:17:48,040 --> 01:17:50,358
But, all we can do is wait.
1770
01:17:50,388 --> 01:17:53,863
It's not gonna be easy,
but we just have to wait.
1771
01:17:54,630 --> 01:17:56,880
- Was there a dead guy in the hall?
1772
01:17:58,570 --> 01:18:00,885
- Just don't think of all that, okay?
1773
01:18:00,915 --> 01:18:02,360
Don't think about that stuff.
1774
01:18:02,390 --> 01:18:03,464
It's okay.
1775
01:18:03,494 --> 01:18:04,470
It's okay.
1776
01:18:04,500 --> 01:18:06,008
- I think you were exposed.
1777
01:18:06,038 --> 01:18:07,480
- I think we've pretty much all been
1778
01:18:07,510 --> 01:18:09,510
exposed through the air vents.
1779
01:18:09,903 --> 01:18:13,340
- Fuck, why didn't I
think to cover the vents?
1780
01:18:13,370 --> 01:18:16,800
- I think you've sprayed
enough Lysol to save us all.
1781
01:18:16,830 --> 01:18:18,333
- Damn right I did.
1782
01:18:20,319 --> 01:18:21,200
Here's the thing guys,
1783
01:18:21,230 --> 01:18:24,390
we've done absolutely everything we can.
1784
01:18:24,420 --> 01:18:26,330
I mean Greg and I stayed up all night
1785
01:18:26,360 --> 01:18:29,850
cleaning the entire hallway
in full rubber suit,
1786
01:18:29,880 --> 01:18:32,320
and I learned a life lesson
that you're only ever
1787
01:18:32,350 --> 01:18:33,980
one rubber suit adventure away
1788
01:18:34,010 --> 01:18:35,410
from fitting in your skinny jeans.
1789
01:18:35,440 --> 01:18:37,400
So, do I look thinner?
1790
01:18:37,430 --> 01:18:38,369
- Yeah girl.
- Yeah.
1791
01:18:38,399 --> 01:18:39,363
- Yeah.
- Really good.
1792
01:18:39,393 --> 01:18:41,210
- I feel amazing.
1793
01:18:41,240 --> 01:18:43,040
Here's the deal guys, okay.
1794
01:18:43,070 --> 01:18:45,910
There's 25 units in the building
that still have tenants.
1795
01:18:45,940 --> 01:18:48,900
We went, we cleared out
Greg's entire storage unit,
1796
01:18:48,930 --> 01:18:50,630
we distributed all of his supplies
1797
01:18:50,660 --> 01:18:52,360
evenly among the tenants.
1798
01:18:52,390 --> 01:18:54,020
He took enough for himself and then
1799
01:18:54,050 --> 01:18:55,060
we brought the rest here.
1800
01:18:55,090 --> 01:18:57,650
So it's just all we can do.
1801
01:18:57,680 --> 01:18:59,000
- You never left the building?
1802
01:18:59,030 --> 01:19:00,380
- No.
1803
01:19:00,410 --> 01:19:02,490
- Wait, so you were up
all night distributing
1804
01:19:02,520 --> 01:19:04,200
supplies to your tenants?
1805
01:19:04,230 --> 01:19:05,563
- Yeah.
1806
01:19:08,222 --> 01:19:10,780
- I am so proud to know you right now.
1807
01:19:10,810 --> 01:19:13,010
- I mean the captain
can't jump ship, right?
1808
01:19:13,040 --> 01:19:15,040
Hey, I was just doing my job.
1809
01:19:15,070 --> 01:19:16,440
Plus, I love you guys.
1810
01:19:16,470 --> 01:19:18,900
There was no way in hell I
was gonna leave you behind.
1811
01:19:18,930 --> 01:19:22,460
- Correction, this is the all
female Dead Poets Society.
1812
01:19:22,490 --> 01:19:24,863
Oh captain, my captain.
1813
01:19:28,420 --> 01:19:30,130
- Oh captain, my captain.
1814
01:19:30,160 --> 01:19:31,493
- Yes!
1815
01:19:32,136 --> 01:19:33,890
- I know what you guys are thinking,
1816
01:19:33,920 --> 01:19:36,500
and I am not gonna stand on a chair.
1817
01:19:36,530 --> 01:19:38,870
This is more of that
shit white people love.
1818
01:19:38,900 --> 01:19:39,920
- We do love it.
1819
01:19:39,950 --> 01:19:41,331
We love that shit.
1820
01:19:41,361 --> 01:19:43,173
- How can we help, Mel?
1821
01:19:43,550 --> 01:19:45,550
- I think it's all done.
1822
01:19:45,580 --> 01:19:48,550
Oh, you guys can help me hang sheets.
1823
01:19:48,580 --> 01:19:49,763
- What do you mean?
1824
01:19:49,793 --> 01:19:51,126
- Come on.
1825
01:19:59,672 --> 01:20:02,928
- We're going now to
Mayor Stills of Nashville.
1826
01:20:02,958 --> 01:20:04,337
- Good morning, everyone.
1827
01:20:04,367 --> 01:20:07,070
Nashville remains under Martial Law.
1828
01:20:07,100 --> 01:20:09,760
We ask that no one
within eyesight of impact
1829
01:20:09,790 --> 01:20:11,910
step outside until further notice.
1830
01:20:11,940 --> 01:20:13,830
If you are alive and safe please display
1831
01:20:13,860 --> 01:20:15,785
white material in your windows.
1832
01:20:15,815 --> 01:20:18,730
If you can write a number
of people, please do so.
1833
01:20:18,760 --> 01:20:21,250
If there is injury or
need of medical attention
1834
01:20:21,280 --> 01:20:22,775
please mark with an X.
1835
01:20:22,805 --> 01:20:25,830
If you are in need of water
please mark with an H.
1836
01:20:27,100 --> 01:20:30,124
A winter storm is due to
hit Nashville tonight.
1837
01:20:30,154 --> 01:20:32,060
When the storm clears, we will continue to
1838
01:20:32,090 --> 01:20:35,120
survey the damage and attempt
to begin rescue missions.
1839
01:20:35,150 --> 01:20:36,000
Stay strong.
1840
01:20:36,030 --> 01:20:36,980
Stay safe.
1841
01:20:37,010 --> 01:20:37,940
Hunker down.
1842
01:20:37,970 --> 01:20:39,260
Tape your windows.
1843
01:20:39,290 --> 01:20:40,944
Let us know you're alive.
1844
01:20:40,974 --> 01:20:43,230
Government teams are
working around the clock
1845
01:20:43,260 --> 01:20:45,789
to restore power and communication.
1846
01:20:45,819 --> 01:20:48,770
I'm not taking any questions at this time.
1847
01:20:51,416 --> 01:20:52,983
- Guys.
1848
01:20:54,270 --> 01:20:58,335
All of this cake we're eating
is destroying my blood sugar.
1849
01:20:58,365 --> 01:20:59,390
- Oh.
1850
01:20:59,420 --> 01:21:01,018
- That's insane.
1851
01:21:01,048 --> 01:21:02,420
- Ooh.
1852
01:21:02,450 --> 01:21:03,790
Speaking of cake.
1853
01:21:03,820 --> 01:21:04,660
Melissa.
1854
01:21:04,690 --> 01:21:05,850
I've got one for you.
1855
01:21:05,880 --> 01:21:06,750
- Okay, shoot.
1856
01:21:06,780 --> 01:21:08,880
I can't wait for this.
1857
01:21:08,910 --> 01:21:14,173
- Would you rather sit
on a dick and eat cake,
1858
01:21:15,310 --> 01:21:20,353
or sit on a cake and eat a dick?
1859
01:21:21,120 --> 01:21:24,473
- That's entirely dependent on whose dick?
1860
01:21:26,555 --> 01:21:28,440
- Jamie from Outlander's dick.
1861
01:21:28,470 --> 01:21:29,273
- Ooh.
1862
01:21:29,303 --> 01:21:30,660
- That's a good one.
1863
01:21:30,690 --> 01:21:31,520
Is he in a kilt?
1864
01:21:31,550 --> 01:21:32,353
- Duh.
1865
01:21:32,383 --> 01:21:35,270
- Wait, where is the uncircumcised
1866
01:21:35,300 --> 01:21:37,060
Outlander penis going when you sit on it?
1867
01:21:37,090 --> 01:21:38,873
- Ah, very important.
1868
01:21:39,500 --> 01:21:40,817
Up the butt.
1869
01:21:40,847 --> 01:21:41,790
- Oh, no.
1870
01:21:41,820 --> 01:21:42,840
- Of course it is up the butt.
1871
01:21:42,870 --> 01:21:43,673
- Fuck that.
1872
01:21:43,703 --> 01:21:45,710
I would sit on a cake and eat a dick.
1873
01:21:47,200 --> 01:21:48,440
- Jillian, everyone.
1874
01:21:48,470 --> 01:21:49,658
- Oh yeah.
1875
01:21:49,688 --> 01:21:52,583
Jillian is a new woman, now, Mel.
1876
01:21:53,410 --> 01:21:54,250
- Oh my God.
1877
01:21:54,280 --> 01:21:55,839
- Sweet little Jilly.
1878
01:21:55,869 --> 01:21:56,672
- What?
1879
01:21:56,702 --> 01:21:58,980
- Sweet Jilly not so sweet anymore.
1880
01:21:59,010 --> 01:22:00,286
- You got her.
1881
01:22:00,316 --> 01:22:02,903
Somebody get the woman some cake.
1882
01:22:19,979 --> 01:22:23,293
Okay girls, here we go.
1883
01:22:24,464 --> 01:22:26,030
I'm gonna go sleep in my room.
1884
01:22:26,060 --> 01:22:28,320
I'll take one of you
or two if you're lucky.
1885
01:22:28,350 --> 01:22:29,840
You can rock paper scissors that shit
1886
01:22:29,870 --> 01:22:33,080
or alternate nights or
whatever, I don't care.
1887
01:22:33,110 --> 01:22:34,260
But I get one hour alone.
1888
01:22:34,290 --> 01:22:36,388
And I like to be the little spoon.
1889
01:22:36,418 --> 01:22:38,085
- That's fair.
1890
01:22:38,815 --> 01:22:40,148
Praise.
1891
01:22:43,548 --> 01:22:46,543
- All right everybody, as
information becomes available
1892
01:22:46,573 --> 01:22:48,660
we will continue to share.
1893
01:22:48,690 --> 01:22:50,810
But me and Maggs here...
1894
01:22:58,490 --> 01:22:59,893
I'm sorry, y'all.
1895
01:23:01,883 --> 01:23:06,730
Here at WBNA FM we are
not here to scare you.
1896
01:23:06,760 --> 01:23:10,553
We're sending out all of
our thoughts and prayers.
1897
01:23:12,984 --> 01:23:15,013
We're with you, Nashville.
1898
01:23:20,230 --> 01:23:21,563
Tonight,
1899
01:23:24,063 --> 01:23:27,640
well tonight I just might
play some more music again.
1900
01:23:29,285 --> 01:23:30,723
In fact,
1901
01:23:34,653 --> 01:23:37,413
this old man stopped by yesterday.
1902
01:23:38,211 --> 01:23:40,170
- Campbell Station.
1903
01:23:40,200 --> 01:23:41,450
- It's just one of those songs
1904
01:23:41,480 --> 01:23:42,890
I think we could all use right now.
1905
01:23:42,920 --> 01:23:44,630
What do you think Maggs?
1906
01:23:44,660 --> 01:23:46,960
- I couldn't agree with you more PJ.
1907
01:23:47,900 --> 01:23:49,233
Let's hear it.
1908
01:23:52,287 --> 01:23:57,787
? Hope is a promise for better days ?
1909
01:23:58,787 --> 01:24:04,287
? I hope it's not too
late to make a change ?
1910
01:24:06,012 --> 01:24:11,512
? Something's gotta grow
out of quite a mess ?
1911
01:24:11,650 --> 01:24:17,150
? So I pray for rain ?
1912
01:24:19,675 --> 01:24:22,796
? You know I don't mind ?
1913
01:24:22,826 --> 01:24:26,348
? Leaving this old world behind ?
1914
01:24:26,378 --> 01:24:31,878
? Start over this time
and wash it all away ?
1915
01:24:33,518 --> 01:24:36,710
? You know I don't mind ?
1916
01:24:36,740 --> 01:24:40,152
? Leaving this old world behind ?
1917
01:24:40,182 --> 01:24:45,682
? Start over this time
and wash it all away ?
1918
01:24:46,493 --> 01:24:49,861
- You guys remember when it
was okay to say retarded?
1919
01:24:53,720 --> 01:24:55,833
- You gonna go lock yourself
in the bathroom and write?
1920
01:24:55,863 --> 01:24:56,760
- Hell, no.
1921
01:24:56,790 --> 01:24:57,660
It's way too cold in there.
1922
01:24:57,690 --> 01:24:59,670
- It's too cold in here.
1923
01:24:59,700 --> 01:25:01,136
Hurry back!
1924
01:25:01,166 --> 01:25:02,557
- You hurry back.
1925
01:25:02,587 --> 01:25:08,087
? Is this some kind of
divine intervention ?
1926
01:25:08,294 --> 01:25:10,191
? If you're up there God ?
1927
01:25:10,221 --> 01:25:14,854
? Well you got my attention ?
1928
01:25:14,884 --> 01:25:18,011
? I hope it aint more of the same ?
1929
01:25:18,041 --> 01:25:21,882
? And don't take it the wrong way ?
1930
01:25:21,912 --> 01:25:27,412
? But do you hear me
when I pray for rain ?
1931
01:25:29,145 --> 01:25:32,102
? You know I don't mind ?
1932
01:25:32,132 --> 01:25:35,749
? Leaving this old world behind ?
1933
01:25:35,779 --> 01:25:41,279
? Start over this time
and wash it all away ?
1934
01:25:42,968 --> 01:25:45,788
? You know I don't mind ?
1935
01:25:45,818 --> 01:25:49,506
? Leaving this old world behind ?
1936
01:25:49,536 --> 01:25:55,036
? Start over this time
and wash it all away ?
1937
01:25:56,327 --> 01:25:59,661
? You know I don't mind ?
1938
01:25:59,691 --> 01:26:03,096
? Leaving this old world behind ?
1939
01:26:03,126 --> 01:26:08,626
? Start over this time
and wash it all away ?
1940
01:26:25,107 --> 01:26:26,985
? I've been told when I fight ?
1941
01:26:27,015 --> 01:26:29,071
? I'm not very ladylike ?
1942
01:26:29,101 --> 01:26:31,309
? I recall all the times ?
1943
01:26:31,339 --> 01:26:33,510
? I had no other choice ?
1944
01:26:33,540 --> 01:26:37,540
? I use my words but
you don't hear a thing ?
1945
01:26:37,570 --> 01:26:41,937
? Underneath your ocean I can't breathe ?
1946
01:26:41,967 --> 01:26:46,070
? I will turn the tens into nines ?
1947
01:26:46,100 --> 01:26:47,630
? Oh ?
1948
01:26:47,660 --> 01:26:49,706
? And show you my ladylike ?
1949
01:26:49,736 --> 01:26:52,819
? Uh uh uh oh ?
1950
01:26:54,633 --> 01:26:59,637
- Yeah, I get what you're
saying, I just don't care.
1951
01:27:00,220 --> 01:27:01,743
- I'm sorry, what?
1952
01:27:02,200 --> 01:27:04,874
Stacey Dash wanted to eliminate slavery?
1953
01:27:04,904 --> 01:27:06,596
- Nope.
1954
01:27:12,369 --> 01:27:14,297
- And I'm like dead ass serious.
1955
01:27:14,327 --> 01:27:16,903
- Yeah that wedgie right there.
1956
01:27:17,830 --> 01:27:20,880
Let's pick that wedgie out.
1957
01:27:20,910 --> 01:27:23,960
- Hey, I hate to break
up this taco fest but...
1958
01:27:23,990 --> 01:27:25,343
Hate to break up this clam jam here.
1959
01:27:25,373 --> 01:27:28,800
Hate to break up this
episode of The View but...
1960
01:27:28,830 --> 01:27:30,490
I hate to break up the
titty committee here.
1961
01:27:30,520 --> 01:27:34,699
I hate to break up this
flap gathering but...
1962
01:27:37,199 --> 01:27:39,870
- What are you doing, that's
our bathwater in there.
1963
01:27:39,900 --> 01:27:41,088
- Nope.
1964
01:27:41,118 --> 01:27:42,347
- What did I say?
1965
01:27:42,377 --> 01:27:44,484
- That's our bathwater.
1966
01:27:45,317 --> 01:27:47,271
That's our bathwater in there.
1967
01:27:47,301 --> 01:27:48,465
- Peen.
1968
01:27:48,495 --> 01:27:50,245
- Peen.
1969
01:27:53,342 --> 01:27:55,603
- For some that run just got me.
1970
01:27:55,633 --> 01:28:00,225
- There's 25 units you
guys with tenants...
1971
01:28:01,858 --> 01:28:04,777
- And that's okay and it
doesn't mean I want...
1972
01:28:07,400 --> 01:28:09,430
- Strictly speaking from an outsider...
1973
01:28:09,460 --> 01:28:11,640
Strictly speaking from
an outside perspect...
1974
01:28:11,670 --> 01:28:13,000
Strictly speaking from an...
1975
01:28:13,030 --> 01:28:15,520
It sounds to me like your mom is...
1976
01:28:18,910 --> 01:28:20,690
- Hate to break down the beaver dam here.
1977
01:28:20,720 --> 01:28:22,295
Storm the beaver lodge.
1978
01:28:22,325 --> 01:28:24,775
Storm the fucking...
1979
01:28:24,805 --> 01:28:27,599
I wanna like come in
and everyone's going...
1980
01:28:28,897 --> 01:28:30,213
- It was from like another planet.
1981
01:28:30,243 --> 01:28:32,017
- Have you ever looked at your own vagina?
1982
01:28:32,047 --> 01:28:32,850
- I have.
1983
01:28:32,880 --> 01:28:33,683
Have you?
1984
01:28:33,713 --> 01:28:35,190
You stick a mirror down there.
1985
01:28:35,220 --> 01:28:37,926
- Everyone wants to see their own vagina.
1986
01:28:37,956 --> 01:28:40,832
- I try to avoid it at all costs.
1987
01:28:42,453 --> 01:28:44,548
That thing doesn't make any appearances.
1988
01:28:44,578 --> 01:28:48,770
- I just wear a mirror like all the time.
1989
01:28:48,800 --> 01:28:52,142
To happen, so we could wear that outfit.
1990
01:28:55,590 --> 01:28:56,923
- Sorry.
1991
01:29:00,436 --> 01:29:04,186
? Show you my ladylike ?
134077
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian (Nynorsk)
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof