Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:05,843
SLIDE IN ON YOUR BUTT,
FRONT KNEE BENT, HANDS UP.
2
00:00:05,873 --> 00:00:08,183
YEAH, SO WHEN WE TEACH YOU
TO POP UP, YOU CAN COME UP,
3
00:00:08,209 --> 00:00:11,049
HIT 'EM RIGHT IN THE MOUTH
WITH A GOOD ELBOW, ALL RIGHT?
4
00:00:11,079 --> 00:00:13,879
NO. NO.
IT'S TO PROTECT YOUR HANDS.
5
00:00:13,914 --> 00:00:14,884
[ WHIRRING ]
6
00:00:14,915 --> 00:00:17,915
[ ALL MURMURING ]
7
00:00:22,223 --> 00:00:24,993
I WANT TO HAVE ONE.
8
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:27,025
HEY! HEY! HEADS OUT OF
YOUR BUTTS. LET'S GO.
9
00:00:27,061 --> 00:00:31,531
COME ON, MAN. THIS GAME
IS ABOUT COMMITMENT AND FOCUS.
10
00:00:31,565 --> 00:00:32,725
COMMITTED!
YOU KNOW WHO'S COMMITTED?
11
00:00:32,766 --> 00:00:34,166
THE CHINESE.
THEY'RE COMMITTED.
12
00:00:34,202 --> 00:00:35,872
AND ONE DAY,
THEY'RE GONNA COME
13
00:00:35,903 --> 00:00:38,073
SCREAMING UP THAT BEACH
IN SANTA MONICA,
14
00:00:38,106 --> 00:00:39,666
AND THEY'RE GONNA
LOP YOUR HEADS OFF
15
00:00:39,707 --> 00:00:43,077
AND SEND THEM TO YOUR MOTHERS
IN A LITTLE WHITE TO-GO BOX!
16
00:00:43,111 --> 00:00:46,011
RIGHT?
NOW, LET'S GO SLIDING.
17
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,676
AND FOR NOW,
COME IN SPIKES HIGH!
18
00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:49,575
[ WHIRRING ]
COME ON!
19
00:00:55,956 --> 00:00:57,226
OW!
20
00:00:58,226 --> 00:01:00,626
HELP! HELP! OW!
21
00:01:11,739 --> 00:01:14,539
Terry Jr.:
ALL RIGHT. GOOD STUFF.
22
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:16,205
WHAT?
THAT WAS GOOD STUFF?
23
00:01:16,244 --> 00:01:18,054
IT'S A DISGRACE.
[ WHIRRING ]
24
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:21,048
TED WILLIAMS' HEAD
WOULD ROLL OVER IN ITS FREEZER.
25
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,421
[ ALL MURMUR ]
26
00:01:25,119 --> 00:01:27,959
BLACK HAWK IS GOING DOWN.
27
00:01:27,988 --> 00:01:29,558
WOW.
HE IS IN RARE FORM TODAY.
28
00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:33,130
WHY HAS HE BEEN SO MAD AT US
FOR THE PAST WEEK?
29
00:01:33,161 --> 00:01:34,561
THIS IS
A WHOLE NEW LEVEL OF MEAN.
30
00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:36,925
HIS FOREHEAD VEINS
WERE GIVING ME THE FINGER.
31
00:01:36,964 --> 00:01:39,304
MY DAD GETS MAD LIKE THAT
WHEN MY MOM'S AWAY.
32
00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:41,443
MY BROTHER SAYS
IT'S BECAUSE HE'S PENT UP.
33
00:01:41,469 --> 00:01:43,139
WHAT'S PENT UP?
34
00:01:43,171 --> 00:01:44,971
WHEN HE NEEDS TO
GET SOME.
35
00:01:45,005 --> 00:01:47,575
SOME WHAT?
YOU KNOW, THE GOOD STUFF.
36
00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:48,778
[ CHUCKLES ]
37
00:01:48,809 --> 00:01:50,939
MOM, DOES THE CANNON
NEED SOME OF THE GOOD STUFF?
38
00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:54,750
[ SIGHS ]
39
00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:57,752
THAT'S THE GOOD STUFF.
40
00:01:57,785 --> 00:02:00,445
* BUM-BUM-BUM-BYE-UH
41
00:02:00,488 --> 00:02:03,788
WELL, MAYBE SOME COMPANIONSHIP
WOULD BE GOOD FOR HIM.
42
00:02:03,824 --> 00:02:05,634
[ WHIRRING ]
43
00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:07,757
* HERE WE GO
44
00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:09,095
[ GRUNTS ]
WHOA.
45
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:10,859
[ ALL MURMUR ]
46
00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:14,495
YOU THINK?
DEFINITELY.
47
00:02:14,535 --> 00:02:16,795
* I'M BACK
48
00:02:25,313 --> 00:02:26,483
* I'M BACK
49
00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:32,123
MAN,
WATCHING HER PACK UP
50
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:35,522
IS WAY HOTTER
THAN WATCHING COACH DAVE.
51
00:02:37,558 --> 00:02:39,958
IF HE WERE A DEEJAY,
HE'D BE WOLFMAN BACK.
52
00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:41,833
HE'S LIKE ZZ BOTTOM.
53
00:02:41,862 --> 00:02:43,962
COME ON, GUYS.
IT'S GENETIC.
54
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:46,327
THERE'S NOTHING A MAN CAN DO
ABOUT HIS BODY HAIR.
55
00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:48,037
SHUT UP, STAN.
HEY, ROOKIE!
56
00:02:49,237 --> 00:02:51,507
COME OVER HERE.
I NEED TO TALK TO YOU FOR A SEC.
57
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:55,514
OR I CAN COME TO YOU.
THAT'S FINE.
58
00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:00,812
CHECK IT OUT.
59
00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:02,878
IT'S MY CONDOM SUPPLY
FOR THE MONTH.
60
00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:04,386
[ CHUCKLES ]
I'M KIDDING.
61
00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:05,488
CLASSY, DICK.
62
00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:06,649
SO I'VE BEEN TOLD.
63
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:09,157
BY STAN?
THAT'S FUNNY.
64
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,829
LOOK, AS THE ROOKIE COACH,
YOU GET THE CRAPPIEST JOB.
65
00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:13,659
YOU GOT TO RUN
THE CHOCOLATE-BAR FUNDRAISER.
66
00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:15,034
BUY IT. SELL IT.
67
00:03:15,062 --> 00:03:16,032
IF YOU WANT TO GET KINKY,
68
00:03:16,063 --> 00:03:17,403
MELT IT DOWN
AND TAKE A BATH IN IT.
69
00:03:17,431 --> 00:03:19,001
BUT THEN BE SURE TO TAKE
A REAL BATH AFTER,
70
00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:21,032
'CAUSE YOU'RE
GONNA BE ALL...
71
00:03:21,068 --> 00:03:23,838
YOU KNOW...CHOCOLATY.
72
00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:25,011
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
73
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:26,168
THERE NEEDS TO BE EIGHT HUNDY
IN THIS CASH BOX
74
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:29,006
BY THE END OF THE WEEK,
OR IT'S YOUR ASS.
75
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:31,012
UNLESS YOU'RE NOT UP FOR IT.
I CAN FIND ANOTHER COACH.
76
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:32,384
THAT WON'T BE A PROBLEM.
OH, PLEASE.
77
00:03:32,413 --> 00:03:33,853
I'M GONNA SELL
SO MUCH CHOCOLATE,
78
00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:35,851
IT'S GONNA MAKE YOU CRY
LIKE A BITCH, BITCH.
79
00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:38,723
THAT'S DIRTY TALK,
AND I LIKE IT.
80
00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:39,922
I'LL SEE YOU MONDAY.
81
00:03:39,953 --> 00:03:42,723
PULL YOUR PANTS UP,
DAVE!
82
00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:45,057
Terry Sr.: HEY!
83
00:03:45,092 --> 00:03:46,532
SPEED IT UP,
OR I'M GONNA GET MY CAR
84
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:47,700
AND CHASE YOU AROUND WITH IT!
85
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:50,698
BRAKES ARE SHOT!
86
00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:54,131
DONG,
WHERE IS YOUR PRIDE, MAN?
87
00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:58,606
WHAT A BUM.
88
00:03:58,639 --> 00:04:00,239
[ SCHOOL BELL RINGS ]
89
00:04:00,274 --> 00:04:03,214
HEY, DANNY. DID YOU HEAR
ABOUT DAVID AND VANESSA? NO.
90
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:06,583
OH, THEY HAD A GINORMOUS FIGHT
IN THE CAFETERIA.
91
00:04:06,614 --> 00:04:08,784
TATER TOTS WERE THROWN,
TEARS WERE SHED.
92
00:04:08,816 --> 00:04:10,116
IT WAS KARDASHIAN CRAZY.
93
00:04:10,150 --> 00:04:11,120
SO?
94
00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:13,121
"SO?" YOU LIKE HER!
95
00:04:13,153 --> 00:04:15,223
THIS IS YOUR WINDOW
TO GET IN THERE WITH HER.
96
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:17,885
FIND YOUR INNER ANGELINA
AND TAKE OUT ANISTON.
97
00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:20,725
[ GASPS ]
O-M-G! THERE SHE IS!
98
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:24,931
* ORANGE SKIES
99
00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:29,935
* CARNIVALS AND COTTON CANDY
AND YOU *
100
00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:31,610
* AND I LOVE YOU, TOO
101
00:04:33,974 --> 00:04:35,984
HEY, REMEMBER WHEN WE WERE
AT THE BANK THE OTHER DAY
102
00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:38,779
AND YOU WERE FLIRTING
WITH THAT TALL, SKINNY TELLER?
103
00:04:38,812 --> 00:04:41,082
OH, KAREN, YEAH. KAREN.
YEAH.
104
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:42,254
YOU KNOW,
IF I WAS 10 YEARS YOUNGER,
105
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,082
I'D TRY TO BUST
INTO THAT VAULT.
106
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,287
SO, YOU LIKE TALL WOMEN?
107
00:04:45,319 --> 00:04:46,589
TALL, SHORT,
I DON'T CARE.
108
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:49,490
IT'S ALL THE SAME
DOWN AT THE "Y," YOU KNOW?
109
00:04:49,523 --> 00:04:50,763
SO LET'S TALK AGE, HMM?
110
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:53,831
LET'S SAY A WOMAN
WHO WAS, UH, 60?
111
00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:55,858
50?
112
00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:59,467
40?! OH,
GO LOOK IN THE MIRROR. NO, NO, NO, NO.
113
00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:01,970
I AM NOT KNOCKING BOOTS
WITH SOME BLUE HAIR, OKAY?
114
00:05:02,002 --> 00:05:03,772
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING
WITH THIS MACHINE, ANYWAY?
115
00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:05,974
IT IS
A SENIORS DATING SITE.
116
00:05:06,006 --> 00:05:07,436
I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE NICE
117
00:05:07,475 --> 00:05:09,135
IF YOU FOUND SOMEONE YOU ENJOYED
SPENDING SOME TIME WITH.
118
00:05:09,176 --> 00:05:11,976
YOU KNOW, LIKE A
"FROM HERE TO ETERNITY" MOMENT.
119
00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:13,852
THAT'S THE GOOD STUFF.
YEAH.
120
00:05:13,881 --> 00:05:16,151
SO JUST ANSWER SOME QUESTIONS
AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS, OKAY?
121
00:05:16,183 --> 00:05:18,623
YOU'RE KIDDING.
WHAT KIND OF HAIR DO YOU LIKE?
122
00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:19,652
BRAZILIAN.
123
00:05:19,687 --> 00:05:20,647
ON HER HEAD, DAD!
124
00:05:20,688 --> 00:05:22,018
UH...
125
00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:23,455
IT'S GOT TO BE LONG.
126
00:05:23,491 --> 00:05:26,791
NONE OF THAT, UM,
TENNIS LADY HAIR.
127
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:28,127
YOU KNOW ME.
128
00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:31,671
JUST A NICE GAL WHO'LL WATCH
A BALLGAME WITH ME ON TV,
129
00:05:31,699 --> 00:05:33,329
UH, AFTER WE BOFF.
130
00:05:33,367 --> 00:05:36,297
[ INHALES DEEPLY ]
CAN I SAY "MAKE LOVE"?
131
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:39,136
THAT WOULD BE "BOFF."
TYPE IT. TWO F's.
132
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:40,142
"BOFF."
133
00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:41,313
YOU ARE NOT TAKING THIS
SERIOUSLY.
134
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:44,211
YOU GOT IT, SHERLOCK.
I AM NOT DOING THIS.
135
00:05:44,244 --> 00:05:47,984
[ KEYBOARD CLACKING ]
"MAKE...LOVE."
136
00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:51,145
BO-O-FF.
[ GRUNTS ]
137
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:52,524
[ BLENDER WHIRS ]
138
00:05:58,726 --> 00:05:59,986
OKAY, YOU EACH NEED TO SELL
20 BARS, OKAY?
139
00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:03,057
SMILE AND BE CHARMING.
HEY, DUDLEY, NO SNACKING.
140
00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:04,156
NEXT TIME.
141
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:05,597
[ BOX THUDS ]
OKAY, SELL!
142
00:06:08,536 --> 00:06:11,166
SO, DID YOU GET ANY REPLIES
TO THE CANNON'S PROFILE?
143
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:13,714
OH, ONE. YEAH. A GUY WHO
CALLS HIMSELF "DIAPER DUDE"
144
00:06:13,741 --> 00:06:15,881
WHO LIKES GETTING PUNCHED
BY OLD MEN.
145
00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:18,049
POINT IS,
HE IS NOT AN EASY SELL.
146
00:06:18,078 --> 00:06:21,878
LAST NIGHT, I SAW HIM DRINKING
THE JUICE FROM A CAN OF CLAMS.
147
00:06:21,915 --> 00:06:23,075
I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE
I CAN JUST GO TO THE STORE
148
00:06:23,116 --> 00:06:24,046
AND BUY HIM A GIRLFRIEND.
149
00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:26,694
[ THE STRANGLERS'
"PEACHES" PLAYS ]
150
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,090
WELL, ACTUALLY,
MAYBE YOU CAN.
151
00:06:28,121 --> 00:06:29,761
HMM?
152
00:06:29,790 --> 00:06:32,930
* STROLLING ALONG,
MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS *
153
00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:35,360
OH, LULU.
154
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,025
I LOVE YOU.
155
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,704
CIRCLE UP, BOYS!
NEW PLAN!
156
00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:40,432
HURRY! HURRY! HURRY!
157
00:06:40,468 --> 00:06:42,068
OKAY, VERY IMPORTANT,
ALL RIGHT?
158
00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:44,242
IF YOU WANT THE CANNON
TO STOP YELLING AT YOU,
159
00:06:44,271 --> 00:06:46,041
HELP ME FIND HIM
A LADY FRIEND.
160
00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:48,883
OKAY? THIS PLACE IS CRAWLING
WITH POTENTIAL WOMEN.
161
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:52,049
45-60 IS OUR TARGET AGE.
SHORT, TALL, BIG, SMALL.
162
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:54,409
IF THERE'S A RING ON HER LEFT
HAND, DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME.
163
00:06:54,448 --> 00:06:57,418
IF THERE'S A TAN LINE,
SHE'S SHADY AND READY TO PARTY.
164
00:06:57,451 --> 00:07:01,291
OKAY! LET'S DO THIS!
ANGLES! 1, 2, 3!
165
00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:02,291
All: ANGLES!
166
00:07:02,322 --> 00:07:03,762
WHOO!
WHOO!
167
00:07:06,159 --> 00:07:07,759
HIS NAME'S THE CANNON,
168
00:07:07,795 --> 00:07:09,555
AND HE USED TO PLAY
PROFESSIONAL BASEBALL.
169
00:07:09,597 --> 00:07:11,297
ALL ORIGINAL HAIR.
ORIGINAL TEETH.
170
00:07:11,331 --> 00:07:13,101
SMELLS LIKE BEER,
BUT IN A FUN WAY.
171
00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:14,803
Angel: HOLA, SEÑORA.
172
00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:20,572
Boy: HEY, BABY!
173
00:07:20,608 --> 00:07:21,938
YOU INTERESTED
IN AN AMERICAN GUY
174
00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:24,775
WITH AN UNLIMITED ACCESS
TO TOILET PAPER?
175
00:07:24,812 --> 00:07:27,752
* WHOO, WHOO, OOH-OOH
176
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:28,921
* AHH
177
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:31,589
HEY, THERE, GORGEOUS.
ARE YOU SINGLE?
178
00:07:31,619 --> 00:07:32,589
* MMM
179
00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:34,590
HEY. DANNY, MICHAEL.
180
00:07:34,622 --> 00:07:36,162
HEY, VANESSA.
181
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:38,789
YOU KNOW MY MOM?
UM...
182
00:07:38,826 --> 00:07:41,126
OH, MY GOSH!
DON'T YOU LOVE THAT ICED TEA?
183
00:07:41,161 --> 00:07:43,931
TOTALLY. I LIKE THE RANDOM FACTS
ON THE BOTTLE CAPS.
184
00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:46,434
"KANGAROOS
CAN'T WALK BACKWARDS."
185
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,096
DANNY LIKES SOMETHING,
TOO.
186
00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:49,765
RIGHT, DANNY?
187
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:50,973
UH, D-- UM,
188
00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:54,444
K--
UH, B-BABY K-KANGAROOS.
189
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,184
AWESOME.
YOU SHOULD SEND THAT IN.
190
00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:58,949
I GOT TO GO CATCH UP
WITH MY MOM.
191
00:07:58,979 --> 00:07:59,979
UH, SEE YA.
192
00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:01,983
SOUNDS GOOD. ALL RIGHT.
193
00:08:02,015 --> 00:08:03,115
[ HORN HONKS ]
194
00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:06,650
COACH TERRY, I BELIEVE
WE HAVE FOUND OUR LADY.
195
00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:08,987
HI, I'M DOTTY.
HI.
196
00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:12,692
WELL, YOU DIDN'T RUN OR CALL
THE COPS, SO THAT'S A GOOD SIGN. [ CHUCKLES ]
197
00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:14,626
UNLESS SHE'S HOMELESS.
ARE YOU HOMELESS, DARLING?
198
00:08:14,662 --> 00:08:15,702
'CAUSE YOU ARE VERY TANNED.
199
00:08:15,729 --> 00:08:17,129
OH, NO. NO. NO.
I HAVE A BEACH HOUSE.
200
00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:18,874
I LIKE TO GET
MY HAMMOCK ON.
201
00:08:18,899 --> 00:08:21,299
THE BOYS TOLD ME
ABOUT YOUR DAD.
202
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:24,004
KIND OF A CRAZY WAY TO MEET
A GUY, BUT WHAT THE HELL?
203
00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:25,307
I LIKE 'EM
ROUGH AROUND THE EDGES.
204
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:27,708
WHAT ABOUT HAIRY
AROUND THE EDGES? I CAN WORK WITH THAT.
205
00:08:27,741 --> 00:08:30,841
AND CHECK THIS OUT --
INFIELD FLY RULE. GO.
206
00:08:30,878 --> 00:08:33,648
OH, IF A BATTER POPS UP
AND THERE'S LESS THAN TWO OUTS
207
00:08:33,681 --> 00:08:35,981
AND A FORCE ON THIRD,
IT'S AN AUTOMATIC OUT,
208
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:37,846
REGARDLESS
IF THE BALL IS CAUGHT.
209
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:41,662
I USED TO SELL BEER
AT DODGER STADIUM.
210
00:08:41,689 --> 00:08:45,229
ARE YOU FREE
TONIGHT AT 8:00?
211
00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:47,828
OH, THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
JUST COME MEET DOTTY FOR 20 MINUTES, PLEASE?
212
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:49,061
BAGGIN' ON THAT.
213
00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:50,826
KERSHAW'S PITCHING,
AND I GOT TO GET THROUGH
214
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:53,034
THIS SALMON JERKY
BEFORE IT EXPIRES.
215
00:08:54,234 --> 00:08:56,704
HMM.
216
00:08:56,737 --> 00:08:59,237
IS THAT
A TOOTHPICK NECKLACE?
217
00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:00,342
HAD IT MADE SPECIAL.
218
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:03,383
IT SAVES ME A TON OF MONEY
ON TOOTHPICKS.
219
00:09:03,410 --> 00:09:04,850
DO YOU EVER WASH IT?
220
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:06,178
WHAT, AM I GONNA CATCH SOMETHING
FROM MYSELF?
221
00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:08,183
WHY DON'T YOU THINK
BEFORE YOU TALK?
222
00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:10,015
HEY, I BUSTED MY ASS
TO FIND SOMEONE FOR YOU!
223
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:12,550
THE ENTIRE INTERNET
TURNED YOU DOWN.
224
00:09:12,586 --> 00:09:13,916
I FOUND HER IN A PARKING LOT,
ALL RIGHT?
225
00:09:13,954 --> 00:09:15,524
YOU ARE GOING
ON THIS DATE.
226
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:17,015
LET ME TELL YOU,
IF THIS HOUSE WAS ON FIRE,
227
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:19,627
I WOULD SIT HERE
AND BURN LIKE A MONK.
228
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:22,731
Announcer:
HE THROWS THE FASTBALL.
229
00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:25,403
IT'S A HARD HIT.
[ BEEP ]
230
00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:27,202
HEY, GIVE ME THAT.
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?
231
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:28,274
WHAT DID YOU PRESS?
COME ON.
232
00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:29,241
HMM?
233
00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:30,899
COME ON.
GET RID OF THE SNOW.
234
00:09:30,938 --> 00:09:33,068
YEAH, TRY THAT ONE.
235
00:09:33,106 --> 00:09:34,706
"HD" MIGHT --
OH, COME ON!
236
00:09:34,742 --> 00:09:35,912
OH,
THAT DIDN'T WORK?
237
00:09:35,943 --> 00:09:36,913
OH, NO.
238
00:09:36,944 --> 00:09:38,954
FIX THIS.
OH, I'LL FIX IT...
239
00:09:38,979 --> 00:09:41,379
IF YOU GO ON THIS DATE.
240
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:43,284
PICK THAT
OUT OF YOUR TEETH.
241
00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:45,386
[ BEEPING ]
242
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:47,718
YOU GOT TO GO TO M.I.T.
FOR THIS STUPID...
243
00:09:47,755 --> 00:09:50,755
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!
244
00:09:50,791 --> 00:09:52,131
PIECE OF CRAP!
245
00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:55,129
DAD, THIS IS DOTTY SANCHEZ.
SHE IS DIVORCED.
246
00:09:55,162 --> 00:09:57,132
HER SON LIVES IN CHICAGO.
MM-HMM.
247
00:09:57,164 --> 00:10:00,304
AND SHE HAS A BASSET HOUND
NAMED KEVIN KLINE.
248
00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:01,943
YEAH, WELL,
WHEN HE WAS A PUPPY,
249
00:10:01,969 --> 00:10:03,939
HIS CUTE LITTLE FACE
REMINDED ME OF KEVIN KLINE.
250
00:10:03,971 --> 00:10:04,971
[ CHUCKLES ]
251
00:10:05,005 --> 00:10:06,135
AND...GOODBYE.
252
00:10:07,507 --> 00:10:09,777
THINK OF THE TV.
253
00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:11,580
IT'S GONNA BE SNOWING
EVERY DAMN DAY
254
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,081
OF YOUR MISERABLE LIFE.
255
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:15,423
HMM, YEAH.
256
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:16,918
ANYWAY,
FOUND YOU IN A PARKING LOT,
257
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:18,920
HE ALMOST KILLED A GUY
IN A PARKING LOT.
258
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:21,122
DISCUSS. HAVE FUN.
259
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:25,593
Dick:
HEY. LOOK WHO'S HERE.
260
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:27,455
HOW'S THE CHOCOLATE SALE
COMING, TERRY?
261
00:10:27,494 --> 00:10:29,604
DID YOU, UH...
DID YOU TAKE THAT BATH YET?
262
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:32,099
JUST DROPPING OFF MY DAD.
HE'S ON A DATE, THANKS TO ME.
263
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:33,672
WHERE'S YOUR DATE?
WHERE'S YOUR DATE?
264
00:10:33,701 --> 00:10:35,501
YEAH, WHERE'S YOUR DATE?
WHERE'S YOUR DATE?
265
00:10:35,535 --> 00:10:37,465
UH, WELL,
JUST GOT HER NUMBER.
266
00:10:37,504 --> 00:10:39,944
SO THAT DEAL IS CLOSED...
LIKE CIRCUIT CITY.
267
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:40,943
[ CHUCKLES ]
268
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,184
[ WHISTLES ]
ANYWAY, LOOK.
269
00:10:42,209 --> 00:10:44,949
SAY NO MORE, ROOKIE, 'CAUSE
I GOT YOU ALL FIGURED OUT.
270
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,278
OH, REALLY?
YEAH.
271
00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:48,123
YOUR EX WRECKED YOU, AND YOU'RE
SCARED TO START DATING AGAIN.
272
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:50,618
SO, WHAT DO YOU DO? YOU TAKE
YOUR DAD OUT TO TEST THE WATERS.
273
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,190
YOU HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
274
00:10:52,219 --> 00:10:54,959
[ LAUGHS ]
STRUCK A NERVE, HUH?
275
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:56,118
THAT'S KIND OF HOT.
276
00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:57,786
NO.
NOT EVERYTHING IS HOT.
277
00:10:57,825 --> 00:10:59,155
LIKE THAT RIGHT THERE
YOU JUST DID? IT'S HOT.
278
00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:00,992
NO! STOP GETTING AROUSED
BY MY ANGER!
279
00:11:01,028 --> 00:11:02,028
I'M WALKING AWAY NOW.
280
00:11:02,062 --> 00:11:03,302
I CAN'T WAIT FOR THAT,
281
00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:05,970
'CAUSE IT'S GONNA BE...
SO HOT.
282
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:06,969
OH, MY GOD.
283
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,340
AND...
284
00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:09,968
I'M RIGHT.
285
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:11,143
MM-HMM.
286
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:13,571
[ CLARENCE CARTER'S
"STROKIN'" PLAYS ]
287
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:17,178
* WHEN I START MAKING LOVE *
288
00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:19,010
* I DON'T JUST MAKE LOVE *
289
00:11:19,046 --> 00:11:21,046
* I STROKE IT TO THE EAST *
290
00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:23,381
* AND I STROKE IT TO THE WEST *
291
00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:26,986
* AND I STROKE IT TO THE WOMAN
THAT I LOVE THE BEST *
292
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:29,190
* I BE STROKIN' *
293
00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:32,991
* I STROKE IT TO THE -- *
[ CLICK ]
294
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:35,156
* STROKIN'
295
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:38,725
HEY. WHY DID YOU TURN OFF MY
HI-FI? I'M STROKIN' OVER HERE.
296
00:11:38,766 --> 00:11:41,226
WHY ARE YOU HAPPY?
YOU ARE NEVER HAPPY.
297
00:11:41,268 --> 00:11:42,498
[ COFFEE POT THUDS ]
298
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,365
WAIT.
299
00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:46,374
TWO CUPS OF COFFEE.
300
00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:47,906
OH, MY GOD!
SHE'S HERE, ISN'T SHE?!
301
00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:49,541
SHH, SHH, SHH, SHH, SHH.
KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN, LOUDMOUTH.
302
00:11:49,576 --> 00:11:50,836
SHE'S JUST GETTING UP.
303
00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:53,578
WE, UH, HAD KIND OF
A LONG NIGHT, YOU KNOW?
304
00:11:53,613 --> 00:11:54,883
[ LAUGHS ]
305
00:11:54,915 --> 00:11:56,875
THAT IS
COMPLETELY DISGUSTING. YEAH.
306
00:11:56,917 --> 00:11:59,047
BUT GOOD FOR YOU!
307
00:11:59,086 --> 00:12:01,346
THERE'S MY BARREL-CHESTED
DREAMBOAT.
308
00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:04,688
HEY, HEY. HI, BABE.
[ CHUCKLES ]
309
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:05,864
[ SNORTS ]
310
00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:07,263
[ SNORTS, CHUCKLES ]
311
00:12:07,294 --> 00:12:10,534
HEY, UH, THIS IS, UH,
MY BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER, TERRY.
312
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,533
THIS IS BARB.
HI, HON.
313
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:14,065
AFTER I GET
SOME NICOTINE IN ME,
314
00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:16,101
WE'LL TAKE A SHOWER AND GET
CLEANED UP FOR ROUND TWO.
315
00:12:16,136 --> 00:12:17,066
[ SNORTS ]
316
00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:19,871
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
317
00:12:19,907 --> 00:12:23,907
[ HACKING ]
318
00:12:23,944 --> 00:12:24,914
W-WHAT IS THAT?!
319
00:12:24,945 --> 00:12:27,445
OH, YOU SEE, UH, DOTTY,
SHE'S REALLY SWEET,
320
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:29,450
BUT TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH,
WE JUST DIDN'T CLICK.
321
00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:33,092
SO I WALKED OVER TO THIS
DIVE BAR, AND I MET BARB.
322
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:36,260
AND I GOT TO TELL YOU,
SHE IS TERRIFIC.
323
00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:38,059
SO, TO BE HONEST,
324
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:40,891
I THINK I'M GONNA SPEND
SOME TIME WITH THIS ONE.
325
00:12:40,928 --> 00:12:44,898
[ BARB HACKING IN DISTANCE ]
326
00:12:44,932 --> 00:12:46,432
IS SHE OKAY?
327
00:12:46,466 --> 00:12:48,896
IT SOUNDS LIKE HER LUNGS
ARE ABOUT TO EXPLODE.
328
00:12:48,936 --> 00:12:50,936
HEY, NOTHING WRONG
WITH THOSE LUNGS.
329
00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:52,741
SHE HELD HER BREATH
LIKE A DOLPHIN.
330
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:53,942
[ HACKING CONTINUES ]
331
00:12:53,974 --> 00:12:54,984
YOU KNOW,
I GOT TO TELL YOU,
332
00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:57,778
IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU PUSHING ME
THE WAY YOU DID,
333
00:12:57,811 --> 00:12:59,911
I'D HAVE NEVER MET,
UH, BARB HERE.
334
00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:01,477
AND SO THANK YOU.
335
00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:02,784
[ CHUCKLES ]
336
00:13:02,816 --> 00:13:03,946
IS THERE
A POOL IN THIS HOUSE?
337
00:13:03,984 --> 00:13:05,754
[ LAUGHS ]
338
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:08,985
OH, THAT'S NOT
A CLEAN THING.
339
00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:11,422
[ LAUGHS ]
IS SHE TERRIFIC, OR WHAT?
340
00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:13,088
[ WHIMPERS ]
341
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:21,936
CANNON, I JUST PASSED BARB.
SHE'S TURNING BLUE.
342
00:13:21,969 --> 00:13:23,139
[ BARB HACKING ]
343
00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:26,310
OH, IT'S A TOUCH OF EMPHYSEMA.
SHE'LL SHAKE IT.
344
00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:27,509
[ PLASTIC THUDDING ]
345
00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:29,780
WHY DO THEY MAKE
THESE THINGS CHILDPROOF
346
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:31,109
IF THEY'RE FOR CHILDREN?!
347
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:33,654
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM,
BUDDY?
348
00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:35,120
NOTHING.
349
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:36,518
GIRLS.
350
00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:38,149
HOW DID YOU GET BARB
TO LIKE YOU?
351
00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:40,145
OH, WELL...
352
00:13:40,187 --> 00:13:43,957
UH, WE SAT DOWN
AND WE TALKED FOR A WHILE.
353
00:13:43,991 --> 00:13:45,661
I GOT HER LOADED
AND ASKED HER NICELY
354
00:13:45,692 --> 00:13:46,962
TO JOIN ME
IN THE MEN'S ROOM.
355
00:13:46,994 --> 00:13:49,704
EVERY SINGLE PART OF THAT
SENTENCE WOULD GET ME EXPELLED.
356
00:13:49,729 --> 00:13:51,359
YOU GOT YOUR EYE
ON A GIRL?
357
00:13:51,398 --> 00:13:52,628
I JUST DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO.
358
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:54,465
LOOK, IT'S LIKE I TOLD YOU
IN PRACTICE, RIGHT?
359
00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:55,971
YOU GOT TO COMMIT.
360
00:13:56,003 --> 00:13:58,143
YOU JUST GO UP
AND TELL 'EM HOW YOU FEEL.
361
00:13:58,171 --> 00:13:59,471
NOW, IF SHE DOESN'T
LIKE YOU BACK,
362
00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:01,136
SHE'S A BUM
AND YOU DON'T WANT HER ANYWAY.
363
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:02,514
SO, I JUST WALK UP
AND TELL HER?
364
00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:04,212
I MEAN, IF YOU WANT TO MAKE
A REAL IMPRESSION, RIGHT,
365
00:14:04,244 --> 00:14:07,754
THEN, UH, JUST DO SOMETHING,
UH, YOU KNOW, THOUGHTFUL.
366
00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:13,022
YOU KNOW, GIRLS, THEY, UH --
THEY EAT THAT CRAP UP.
367
00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:14,223
THERE YOU GO.
368
00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:16,524
TAKE A HIKE.
369
00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:18,156
HEY. I BROUGHT DINNER.
370
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:19,661
MY NOSE NEVER LIES.
371
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:24,002
I SMELL PIZZA AND BRAKE FLUID
LIKE SHARKS SMELL BLOOD.
372
00:14:24,031 --> 00:14:25,671
BARB.
[ COUGHS ]
373
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:27,668
NOW WEARING MY CLOTHES.
374
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:29,670
Terry Sr.: YEAH, SHE,
UH -- SHE FIXED THE TV.
375
00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:31,002
SHE'S A WIZ AT ELECTRICS.
376
00:14:31,038 --> 00:14:32,408
I WAS GONNA BE
AN ASTRONAUT.
377
00:14:32,439 --> 00:14:34,509
BUT AFTER APOLLO 13,
378
00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:36,681
YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO SMOKE
ON A ROCKET SHIP.
379
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:38,049
SO THERE GOES THAT DREAM!
380
00:14:38,078 --> 00:14:39,348
[ LAUGHS ]
381
00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:40,849
[ CHUCKLES ]
382
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,050
[ HACKING ]
383
00:14:46,086 --> 00:14:48,856
WHAT THE HELL
IS GOING ON?
384
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,218
LOOK, THE POOR THING, SHE'S
IN BETWEEN PLACES, YOU KNOW?
385
00:14:50,257 --> 00:14:52,687
SO, UH, I TOLD HER SHE COULD
BUNK HERE FOR A WHILE.
386
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:53,725
"A WHILE"?
387
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,200
I LEFT IT OPEN-ENDED.
388
00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:56,858
WE CAN'T LIVE
WITH THAT WOMAN.
389
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,866
SHE WASHED HER FLIP FLOPS
IN THE DISHWASHER.
390
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,028
NOW WE NEED NEW DISHES!
391
00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:03,397
GEE, THAT'S, UH...
I MEAN, THAT'S TOO BAD.
392
00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:05,036
'CAUSE, I MEAN, ME AND BARB
ARE KIND OF CONNECTED.
393
00:15:05,072 --> 00:15:06,912
I MEAN, THAT'S WHAT YOU WANTED,
ISN'T IT?
394
00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:08,280
YES. WHEN THIS BEGAN,
THAT'S WHAT I WANTED.
395
00:15:08,308 --> 00:15:10,038
I WANTED YOU HAPPY
AND NICER TO THE KIDS.
396
00:15:10,077 --> 00:15:11,077
BOOM! IT WORKED.
397
00:15:11,111 --> 00:15:12,551
BUT NOW I'M MISERABLE!
398
00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:15,379
I CAN'T TAKE IT, AND I WANT
"MUCUS MARY" OUT OF THIS HOUSE.
399
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:19,045
LUNG BUTTER CHURNED,
DADDY!
400
00:15:19,086 --> 00:15:21,986
OH, THAT IS
ONE OF DANNY'S SOCKS!
401
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:26,763
YEAH, DAIRY'S REALLY GONNA HELP
THAT WHOLE SITUATION. MM-HMM.
402
00:15:26,793 --> 00:15:29,063
MMM, IT'S DELICIOUS.
403
00:15:29,096 --> 00:15:33,126
THE NEXT KID TO DROP A BALL IS
RUNNING BASES TILL HE'S 16!
404
00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:35,267
HEY! START RUNNING,
GOVERNOR CHRISTIE!
405
00:15:35,302 --> 00:15:37,242
WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM,
LADY?
406
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:40,270
HEY, RIGHT NOW! GO!
FIVE LAPS! ALL OF YOU!
407
00:15:40,307 --> 00:15:41,307
NOW!
408
00:15:42,976 --> 00:15:44,136
MOM,
WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?
409
00:15:44,177 --> 00:15:45,907
YOU SEEM JUST
PENT UP LIKE THE CANNON.
410
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:48,445
IT'S THAT BARB.
SHE IS DRIVING ME CRAZY.
411
00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:50,451
THIS MORNING,
I CAUGHT HER USING A HAIR DRYER
412
00:15:50,483 --> 00:15:52,123
TO WARM UP
AN EGG SANDWICH.
413
00:15:52,152 --> 00:15:53,922
THERE WAS BURNT CHEESE
ALL OVER THE NOZZLE,
414
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:57,263
WHICH ENDED UP BEING DELICIOUS,
BUT I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!
415
00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:58,760
WELL,
THE CANNON SEEMS HAPPIER.
416
00:15:58,791 --> 00:15:59,931
YEAH,
BUT NOW I'M A MESS.
417
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,429
Dick: A HOT MESS.
418
00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:03,101
OY.
419
00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:04,260
HEY, TERRY,
JUST A FRIENDLY REMINDER,
420
00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:07,597
I'M GONNA NEED THAT CHOCOLATE
MONEY IN TWO-ZERO DAYS.
421
00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:09,974
20 DAYS?
ZERO-TWO. DARN.
422
00:16:10,003 --> 00:16:12,013
LOOK,
DON'T TRY TO PUT ME DOWN
423
00:16:12,039 --> 00:16:13,609
JUST 'CAUSE YOU DON'T LIKE
WHAT I SAID THE OTHER NIGHT.
424
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:16,140
YOU REMEMBER,
DR. DICK'S DATING DIAGNOSIS.
425
00:16:16,176 --> 00:16:17,936
OKAY, FIRST OFF, IF THERE'S
AN "M.D." IN YOUR NAME,
426
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,447
IT STANDS
FOR "MASSIVE DOUCHE."
427
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:20,609
SECONDLY,
I HAVE EVERY RIGHT
428
00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:23,347
TO BE A LITTLE CAUTIOUS
ABOUT DATING.
429
00:16:23,383 --> 00:16:24,483
OH, HEY, I GET THAT.
430
00:16:24,517 --> 00:16:25,687
I MEAN, AFTER MY WIFE AND I
SPLIT UP,
431
00:16:25,718 --> 00:16:27,118
I FIGURED
THE NEXT PERSON I MEET
432
00:16:27,154 --> 00:16:29,494
WAS JUST GONNA STOMP
ALL OVER MY HEART.
433
00:16:29,522 --> 00:16:32,362
IT TOOK ME A LONG TIME
TO GET BACK OUT THERE.
434
00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:35,462
LOOK, IF YOU NEED TO TALK
TO SOMEBODY ABOUT THIS,
435
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:38,665
THIS GUY IS REALLY GOOD.
436
00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:41,528
CALL HIM. I PROMISE
YOU HE WILL HELP, AND I NEED THAT MONEY, OKAY?
437
00:16:41,568 --> 00:16:43,198
CALL HIM.
438
00:16:43,236 --> 00:16:44,966
THANKS.
439
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:47,374
YOU'RE WELCOME.
440
00:16:49,376 --> 00:16:50,806
THIS IS YOUR NUMBER,
DICK!
441
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:52,013
I KNOW!
442
00:16:52,045 --> 00:16:53,645
MOM?
HMM?
443
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:55,050
OKAY,
SO, TODAY, AFTER SCHOOL,
444
00:16:55,082 --> 00:16:56,222
I BROUGHT MY CHOCOLATES
BY THE GYM
445
00:16:56,249 --> 00:16:58,649
WHERE THE BIG PEOPLE HANG OUT --
YOU KNOW, TUBBY'S.
446
00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:00,385
AND I JUST OPENED THE BOX
AND GOT OUT OF THE WAY.
447
00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:04,860
PAYDAY!
WELL PLAYED!
448
00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:07,061
THAT BRINGS US TO $800,
BUDDY! WE DID IT!
449
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,527
WHERE'S ALL THE MONEY?!
WHERE'S ALL THE MONEY?!
450
00:17:09,562 --> 00:17:11,532
[ BARB HACKING ]
[ CASH BOX SLAMS ]
451
00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:13,504
BARB!
452
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:15,033
WATCH MY SKIN THERE.
453
00:17:15,068 --> 00:17:18,168
THAT PHLEGMY HAG
STOLE MY MONEY!
454
00:17:18,205 --> 00:17:19,835
WATCH YOUR MOUTH,
BARBIE!
455
00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:22,682
I'M NOT THAT PHLEGMY,
AND I DON'T HAVE YOUR MONEY.
456
00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:24,739
FROM THIS BOX? THE MONEY
FROM THE CHOCOLATE SALE?
457
00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:27,407
OH, TH MONEY.
THAT'S LONG GONE. WELL, GET IT BACK!
458
00:17:27,447 --> 00:17:31,547
THE GUYS WHO HAVE IT DON'T LIKE
IT WHEN YOU ASK FOR IT BACK.
459
00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:34,024
GET ME MY MONEY BACK,
OR SO HELP ME,
460
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:36,023
I WILL SMASH
YOUR APNEA MASK!
461
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,255
NOW GET THE HELL
OUT OF MY HOUSE!
462
00:17:37,290 --> 00:17:39,760
UH, RELAX, LADIES.
JUST RELAX.
463
00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:41,932
BARB, YOU, UH...
YOU WERE A CHAMP.
464
00:17:41,961 --> 00:17:45,061
WE DID GREAT, UH, BUT YOU CAN
HIT THE BRICKS NOW, OKAY?
465
00:17:45,098 --> 00:17:46,098
PERFECT!
[ CHUCKLES ]
466
00:17:46,133 --> 00:17:49,073
IT'S STILL HAPPY HOUR
AT THE AIRPORT RADISSON.
467
00:17:49,102 --> 00:17:49,942
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
468
00:17:49,969 --> 00:17:52,209
[ SNORTS ]
469
00:17:52,239 --> 00:17:54,939
OKAY, UH, WHERE'S SHE GOING?
WHERE IS MY MONEY?
470
00:17:54,974 --> 00:17:57,044
AND WHAT THE HELL
IS GOING ON HERE?!
471
00:17:57,076 --> 00:18:00,046
BARB, UM...
NOT REALLY MY GIRLFRIEND.
472
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:02,049
SHE'S JUST SOME LUSH
FROM MY BAR.
473
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:03,421
I-I'VE KNOWN HER
FOR A WHILE.
474
00:18:03,450 --> 00:18:07,120
SO I PAID HER TO HANG OUT HERE
AND TO DRIVE YOU NUTS.
475
00:18:07,154 --> 00:18:08,594
THAT'S CRAZY!
476
00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:12,231
I-I-I HEARD YOU TWO
HAVING NASTY, OLD-PEOPLE SEX.
477
00:18:12,259 --> 00:18:13,389
SHE WAS HERE.
478
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:14,786
WHAT?!
479
00:18:14,827 --> 00:18:16,227
WAIT.
480
00:18:16,263 --> 00:18:19,233
YOU BROUGHT BARB HERE
TO PUT ME IN MY PLACE
481
00:18:19,266 --> 00:18:20,566
FOR SENDING YOU ON A DATE,
482
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,970
AND THEN YOU PAID HER OFF
WITH MY CHOCOLATE MONEY?
483
00:18:23,002 --> 00:18:24,402
BINGO.
[ CHUCKLES ]
484
00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:26,807
I CAN COME UP WITH THAT CRAZY
KIND OF CRAP ALL DAY LONG.
485
00:18:27,974 --> 00:18:29,084
YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE MEDDLED.
486
00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:31,238
I WASN'T MEDDLING,
YOU IDIOT!
487
00:18:31,278 --> 00:18:32,748
I WORRY ABOUT YOU,
OKAY?
488
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:34,949
I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO BE ALONE
FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!
489
00:18:34,981 --> 00:18:38,791
BUT YOU HAD TO GO BREAK MY TV,
AND THAT'S WAR.
490
00:18:38,818 --> 00:18:40,948
OH, YOU ARE
A MENTAL PATIENT!
491
00:18:40,987 --> 00:18:42,017
THAT IS COMMITMENT.
492
00:18:43,156 --> 00:18:46,586
AND HERETH ENDETH
THE LESSON.
493
00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:47,956
[ GROANING ]
494
00:18:47,994 --> 00:18:49,964
[ THE FLIRTATIONS' "NOTHING
BUT A HEARTACHE" PLAYS ]
495
00:18:54,033 --> 00:18:57,003
* NOTHING BUT A HEARTACHE
EVERY DAY *
496
00:18:57,036 --> 00:18:58,806
* NOTHING BUT A HEARTACHE
497
00:18:58,838 --> 00:18:59,968
* NOTHING BUT A TEAR DROP
ALL OF THE WAY *
498
00:19:00,006 --> 00:19:01,966
WHATEVER YOU'RE ABOUT TO SAY
TO VANESSA, DON'T.
499
00:19:02,008 --> 00:19:04,838
SHE AND DAVID
ARE TOTES BACK TOGETHER.
500
00:19:04,877 --> 00:19:07,107
* LOVING A BAD GUY
IS SUCH A SIN, YEAH *
501
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:13,646
* HE'S GOT ME,
OH, WHY CAN'T I GET HIM? *
502
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:18,694
* NOTHING BUT A HEARTACHE
EVERY DAY, YEAH *
503
00:19:18,725 --> 00:19:19,955
* NOTHING BUT A HEARTACHE
504
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:23,962
* NOTHING BUT A TEAR DROP
ALL OF THE WAY *
505
00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:28,126
* IT'S ONE SITUATION
THAT I JUST CAN'T WIN, YEAH *
506
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:35,167
* HE'S GOT ME,
OH, WHY CAN'T I GET HIM? *
507
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:39,013
* HEARTACHE
THAT'S THE GOOD STUFF.
508
00:19:42,549 --> 00:19:46,149
WHY DO YOU LOOK NICE?
509
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:47,515
NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
510
00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:48,594
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
511
00:19:49,756 --> 00:19:51,886
HEY.
HI, CANNON.
512
00:19:51,924 --> 00:19:53,664
HEY, DOT.
513
00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:55,333
LISTEN, UH,
WOULD YOU MIND TERRIBLY
514
00:19:55,362 --> 00:19:58,272
JUST WAITING IN THE CAR
FOR ONE MINUTE? OH, SURE.
515
00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:01,702
YEAH.
516
00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:03,344
UH, AFTER
SHE STOPPED YAPPING
517
00:20:03,370 --> 00:20:05,340
ABOUT THAT SILLY DOG
AND EVERYTHING,
518
00:20:05,372 --> 00:20:07,672
WE HAD A PRETTY NICE TIME,
YOU KNOW.
519
00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:09,877
SHE WORKED AT DODGER STADIUM,
AND, UH,
520
00:20:09,909 --> 00:20:13,079
SHE MADE IT WITH STEVE GARVEY,
A GOOD BALLPLAYER.
521
00:20:13,112 --> 00:20:14,352
SO...
YEAH.
522
00:20:14,381 --> 00:20:15,351
I FIGURED
I'D TAKE HER OUT
523
00:20:15,382 --> 00:20:17,852
FOR A...A LEGITIMATE DINNER,
YOU KNOW?
524
00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:19,424
GOOD FOR YOU.
525
00:20:19,452 --> 00:20:23,692
ANYWAY, UM, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU
SAID ABOUT CARING ABOUT ME
526
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:25,893
AND BEING LONELY
AND EVERYTHING?
527
00:20:27,260 --> 00:20:30,200
WELL, I -- I --
I WANT THE SAME FOR YOU.
528
00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:33,069
I HOPE SOMEDAY
YOU FIND SOMEBODY, YOU KNOW,
529
00:20:33,099 --> 00:20:36,069
REALLY GREAT,
SOMEBODY REALLY WONDERFUL.
530
00:20:36,102 --> 00:20:38,042
[ CHUCKLES ]
REALLY?
531
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:40,940
NO. I'LL KILL HIM.
532
00:20:40,973 --> 00:20:44,243
ANYWAY, UH...
533
00:20:44,277 --> 00:20:47,247
[ SIGHS ]
534
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:49,080
DON'T WAIT UP.
535
00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:53,253
WHATEVER I GET IN MY TEETH
TONIGHT, I'M KEEPING IT.
536
00:20:53,286 --> 00:20:54,716
[ CHUCKLES ]
HMM.
537
00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:58,734
AND RIGHT BACK
TO DISGUSTING. [ DOOR CLOSES ]
538
00:21:13,139 --> 00:21:14,569
TERRY!
539
00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:16,107
YES?
540
00:21:16,142 --> 00:21:18,112
WHERE'S
MY TELEVISION SET?
541
00:21:18,144 --> 00:21:19,114
OH!
542
00:21:19,145 --> 00:21:20,575
UH, I SOLD IT IN ORDER
543
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:23,953
TO GET BACK THE CHOCOLATE MONEY
THAT YOU GAVE TO BARB.
544
00:21:23,983 --> 00:21:26,923
NOW
THE LESSON HAS ENDETH.
545
00:21:26,953 --> 00:21:28,323
HMM.
546
00:21:31,858 --> 00:21:32,858
THAT'S MY GIRL.
547
00:21:32,908 --> 00:21:37,458
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
39192
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.