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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,640 --> 00:00:09,120 DAVID: Michael. 2 00:00:10,920 --> 00:00:13,480 Michael... I've got a plan. 3 00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:17,040 - For what? - Getting back on the show. 4 00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:21,160 I thought you'd welcomed chaos into your life. 5 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:22,520 I know. We had, but... 6 00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:25,160 ...we have an opportunity. 7 00:00:25,200 --> 00:00:26,280 What? 8 00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:28,280 Reading with the other actors today, it's an opportunity. 9 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:30,080 Sure. 10 00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:32,880 So, have you ever... 11 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:37,400 ...taken part in an act of sabotage? 12 00:00:39,160 --> 00:00:40,400 No. 13 00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:41,400 - Never? - Never. 14 00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:42,800 What, you don't approve of sabotage or...? 15 00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:45,040 My father...was... 16 00:00:45,080 --> 00:00:47,240 ...a saboteur. 17 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:49,320 - Of what? - Of confidence. 18 00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:50,880 - How? - Playing catch. 19 00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:53,440 - Can you catch? - Sometimes. 20 00:00:53,480 --> 00:00:55,840 - So really you were playing throw? - I... Maybe. 21 00:00:55,880 --> 00:01:01,040 No, sure. So how did your father sabotage your confidence using throw? 22 00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:05,840 OK, um... (CLEARS THROAT) 23 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:09,840 So, we would have a few back-and-forths. 24 00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:12,280 Um... And then... 25 00:01:12,320 --> 00:01:15,520 ...he would go to throw the ball really far... 26 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:19,760 ...but at the last minute he'd hide it behind his back, 27 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:22,680 but my eyes would follow the trajectory of the ball and I wouldn't notice 28 00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:26,040 that he'd hidden it behind his back, and I would go running off, running... 29 00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:28,960 (PANTS) ...and I would look for it and look for it and look for it 30 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:30,280 and...um, for ages... 31 00:01:30,320 --> 00:01:32,440 ...and then, you know, 32 00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:33,880 I wouldn't find it. 33 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:37,760 Yeah, it's sad, isn't it? 34 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:41,680 Years later, he told me what he'd been doing. 35 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:44,000 - How did you feel? - Betrayed. 36 00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:47,520 You know that's what people do with dogs? 37 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:49,560 - What? - Throwy-hidey-ball thing. 38 00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:51,240 I don't think so. 39 00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:53,280 - Yeah, we do it with Myrtle. - Myrtle's a dog. 40 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:55,120 Yeah. Drives her nuts. We do it all the time. 41 00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:57,720 And... And she falls for it? 42 00:01:57,760 --> 00:01:58,880 Well, I mean... 43 00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:01,600 She works it out a bit quicker than you did, but... 44 00:02:01,640 --> 00:02:02,680 How quick? 45 00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:04,560 Is the truth 46 00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:07,920 perhaps you're a maybe a little bit more simple 47 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:09,120 than we've always thought? 48 00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:11,240 - What are we sabotaging? - The other actors. 49 00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:12,720 - No. - Yeah, it's easy. 50 00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:15,960 No, cos we're reading with them. So we employ underhand tactics... 51 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:17,240 I'm not convinced. 52 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:20,480 If I throw a stick for you, will you chase it? 53 00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:21,880 Woof! 54 00:02:21,920 --> 00:02:23,720 Good boy. 55 00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:26,800 Grrrrr... 56 00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:28,160 Grr! 57 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:34,360 (SIGHS) 58 00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:39,160 (ATTEMPTS SCOTTISH ACCENT) The Welsh must have a good phrase 59 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:41,680 for the end of the world. 60 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:43,880 Why do you have to say that? 61 00:02:43,920 --> 00:02:45,760 Dylan Thomas must have written about it. 62 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:48,080 I mean... Poem. 63 00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:51,760 Well, yeah. He wrote, "Do not go gentle into that good night." 64 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:53,040 There you go. 65 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:55,440 I did a little bit for the BBC. 66 00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:56,640 Oh, did you? 67 00:02:56,680 --> 00:03:01,360 Mm. "Rage, rage against the dying of the light." 68 00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:03,760 Who wrote that? 69 00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:07,960 Er, Dylan Thomas? 70 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:11,480 It was Dylan. Yeah. I thought it was Kipling for some reason. 71 00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:13,040 - (LAUGHS) - What...? 72 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:14,880 You know loads about poetry, do you? 73 00:03:14,920 --> 00:03:16,480 I know the fucking classics. 74 00:03:20,320 --> 00:03:24,720 "Rage, rage against the dying of the light." 75 00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:25,960 Any thoughts at the moment? 76 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:29,560 No, it sounds good. Erm, I suppose I wonder 77 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:33,960 if there's a version where you just go much more theatrical. 78 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:36,520 - Theatrical? - Cos Michael really leaned into it. 79 00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:37,680 - Really? - Really, yeah. 80 00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:39,360 - Really? - Didn't you, Michael? 81 00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:42,840 Er, really. 82 00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:47,040 Yeah. Cos I think the arc of the show - 83 00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:49,240 we get to humility down the line. 84 00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:52,560 So if in the early stages you just hammer 85 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,760 those theatrical stereotypes, 86 00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:57,680 I think it gives you somewhere to go, to subvert it. You know what I mean? 87 00:03:57,720 --> 00:04:00,360 Right, and that...? You found that worked? 88 00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:03,040 That's... Yeah. That's how we made it work, yeah, really. 89 00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:04,080 SIMON: Really? 90 00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:06,640 - Didn't we, Michael? - All right, so...bigger. 91 00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:07,760 So... 92 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:09,320 On the stage, kind of... 93 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:15,120 Rage! Rage against the dying of the light! 94 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:17,320 (LAUGHS) 95 00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:19,160 Don't laugh. This is... I'm doing a... 96 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:21,080 - This is stage acting. - I know you are. 97 00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:22,880 But you... That's not something you've ever done. 98 00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:24,840 I did a bit of theatre as a student. 99 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:28,200 Honestly, it works. It really works. I would blast it. 100 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:29,400 Rage! 101 00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:32,040 Rage against the dying of the light! 102 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:34,360 - See, that's brilliant. - MICHAEL: Fantastic. 103 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:36,600 Do you know what it was in the original Welsh? 104 00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:37,760 Hang on. Sorry. 105 00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:40,000 Do you know what it was in the original Welsh? 106 00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:41,520 I got it, I got it, I got it. How do you mean? 107 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:42,680 Before it was translated. 108 00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:45,080 - Translated? - What did he originally write? 109 00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:48,240 He wrote, "Do not go gentle into that good night." 110 00:04:48,280 --> 00:04:49,680 - In English? - Yes. 111 00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:53,080 - That's disappointing. - Can I just say how grateful we are? 112 00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:55,720 It's a pleasure. 113 00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:59,280 Just to, you know, have this kind of access to you is... It's a treat. 114 00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:00,600 Listen, we just want the best for it. 115 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:03,600 Well, you know. We're reading it for the producers tomorrow. 116 00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:06,920 - Are you? Right. - Yeah. And we were... 117 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:10,560 ...a little nervous to, er, to ask, you know, cos this is all a bit 118 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:12,240 sort of new, 119 00:05:12,280 --> 00:05:14,240 but it's just brilliant to have your insight. 120 00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:15,600 We're just happy to help. 121 00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:18,920 I know that we're, you know, supposedly better known than you. 122 00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:20,000 Don't say that. 123 00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:22,840 Well, I mean, you know. Let's not argue the toss. 124 00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:24,920 But I'm just saying, this is your show... 125 00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:26,600 - Yeah. - ...either way. 126 00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:28,040 It is. Yeah. I don't think it's... 127 00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:29,440 Listen. It's... 128 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:30,520 Yeah. 129 00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:32,520 Nick said that you might mislead us as well. 130 00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:34,800 Why don't we just fucking crack on? 131 00:05:34,840 --> 00:05:37,120 I'm just saying. I thought they'd find that funny. 132 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:38,160 Yeah, I did. 133 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:43,040 I've got a massage in 40 minutes, so it would be great if we could crack on. 134 00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:46,160 - Sure. - Cachoo wich. 135 00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:50,440 Cachoo... Cachoo... 136 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:52,280 (THROATY) ...hw...hw...hw... 137 00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:53,520 Spit everywhere. 138 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:56,320 Cachoo wich. Am I saying that right? There's no vowels in this. 139 00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:57,960 Cachoo wich. 140 00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:00,600 Michael... Is that...? 141 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:02,920 Um, sorry, say...say it again. 142 00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:05,160 Cachoo h-wichhh. 143 00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:08,440 Spot on. 144 00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:10,720 Oh! (COUGHS) I didn't know... 145 00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:12,440 - Really? - Absolutely. 146 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:14,840 - Cachoo h-wich. - Cos I thought it was cachu hwch. 147 00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:17,640 No, it's cachoo h-wich. It is cachoo h-wich. 148 00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:18,760 Cachoo h-wich. 149 00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:20,640 I was told cachu hwch. 150 00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:21,920 Cachoo h-wich. 151 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:23,800 - "Cach-ee." - H-wich! 152 00:06:23,840 --> 00:06:24,960 "Cach-ee hooch." 153 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:26,960 - Cachoo. - Cachoo h-wich. 154 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:29,240 - H-wich. - Maybe it's a regional thing. 155 00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:32,640 - Maybe it's a regional thing. - Might be a regional thing, yeah. 156 00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:35,640 Hey, is Michael supposed to be Welsh? 157 00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:38,200 - I-I am. - He is Welsh. 158 00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:41,000 Oh. So, does that mean I have to do a Welsh accent? 159 00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:44,640 - Can you do a Welsh accent? - Yeah, I can do pretty much any accent. 160 00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:46,440 What part of Wales are you from, Michael? 161 00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:50,520 The south of Wales. Port Talbot. 162 00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:54,280 Yeah, Port Talbot. What, Baglan end or Taibach? 163 00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:56,000 Er, Baglan end. 164 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:57,440 Baglan. Baglan. Baglan. 165 00:06:57,480 --> 00:07:00,760 (ATTEMPTS WELSH ACCENT) Do not go gentle into that good night. 166 00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:04,360 I think that's better. Michael? 167 00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:08,920 - Spot on. - Yes! 168 00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:11,680 I knew it. When you said Baglan, I was like... 169 00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:13,160 Don't do this again, man. 170 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:16,080 - Why are you talking to me like that? - Fuck you. Like what? 171 00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:17,640 Like I'm a fucking irritant. 172 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:19,160 - You're not an irritant. - Thank you. 173 00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:21,680 - You're a black hole. - Oh, fuck you, man! 174 00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:23,840 You just eat... You eat time, you know. 175 00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:26,400 Oh, this fucking tired old shit. 176 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,400 He refuses to do any kind of preparation. 177 00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:30,600 Why are you being like this? 178 00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:32,440 You don't know the poem. You don't know the Welsh. 179 00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:35,160 You didn't even know that Michael was fucking one of the Welsh. 180 00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:36,120 I do now. 181 00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:38,640 Had you even read this before you came on the call? 182 00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:40,160 I had read bits of it. 183 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:42,000 - Is that a Star Trek mug? - Yeah. 184 00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:43,640 - Nice. - Fucking hell. 185 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:45,880 Scotty does this every fucking time. Don't you, Scotty? 186 00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:47,160 Oh. 187 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:50,520 So we don't have a chance to switch it round and try it the other way on the day. 188 00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:51,760 The other way? 189 00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:53,200 (ATTEMPTS WELSH ACCENT) I want to try Michael. 190 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:54,960 They want us to do it this way, mate. 191 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:58,080 They were happy for us to do it both ways. 192 00:07:58,120 --> 00:08:01,240 They want me to play Michael because Michael and I have the same face. 193 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:03,680 (ATTEMPTS WELSH ACCENT) I want them to hear me read Michael. 194 00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:06,880 - You don't want to read David? - So you've switched roles before? 195 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:08,480 Yes. All the time. 196 00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:10,960 And... Sorry, you don't want to read David? 197 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:13,120 - Can I speak candidly? - Yeah. 198 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:16,720 We feel that David is just a little tepid. 199 00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:18,440 Tepid? 200 00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:20,840 - I mean, sluggish. - Sluggish? 201 00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:23,360 Yeah, well, you know, cos he just sort of floats about, 202 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:26,600 you know? And he's sort of... 203 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:29,200 ...inert is the word I was looking for. 204 00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:31,080 - Inert. Yeah. - Inert? 205 00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:33,440 Yeah. Michael is surprising. You know? 206 00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:35,360 Michael's fascinating. 207 00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:39,600 So what roles have you both read for before? 208 00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:40,640 All of them. 209 00:08:40,680 --> 00:08:41,960 All of them? 210 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:43,840 Yeah, the zombie one, Boxtrolls... 211 00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:45,200 - Michael... - (DOG BARKS) 212 00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:46,960 - May I ask you a question? - Yes. 213 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,280 Don't let him distract you, Michael. 214 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:51,400 - (BARKING CONTINUES) - Tell me the story about the birds. 215 00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:55,400 - What? - In episode one, 216 00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:59,320 you are really preoccupied because of birds, 217 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:00,480 and it's gorgeous. 218 00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:03,520 What you're doing is so subtle, but it's lovely. 219 00:09:03,560 --> 00:09:06,120 - Yeah, but there weren't any birds. - There were no fucking birds. 220 00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:08,760 No. I don't mean in the... I mean, in the character's head. Let's talk about that. 221 00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:11,840 I just want to know where that fear came from, cos it was real. 222 00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:17,400 Hm. Um, OK, well... Well, yeah, they were... They were working in teams. 223 00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:19,640 Right. And you... And you fought back. 224 00:09:19,680 --> 00:09:21,640 I did fight. Yes. 225 00:09:21,680 --> 00:09:23,280 - You're a fighter. - Yes. 226 00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:25,360 I can play a fuckin' fighter. 227 00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:27,960 You're like a paragon of human physical fitness. 228 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,640 Yeah, well, I was going to be a footballer, you know? 229 00:09:29,680 --> 00:09:31,720 That doesn't surprise me one bit. 230 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:33,560 But he very much is not a footballer. 231 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:36,400 He is a coward with a Hitchcock fetish, is what he is. 232 00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:39,320 "I see you, you little feathered shit!" 233 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:40,800 (LAUGHS) 234 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:42,920 Don't laugh at that. Is that the only line you read? 235 00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:44,200 No, I read all of Michael's lines. 236 00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:47,480 (WELSH ACCENT) "I see you, you little feathered shit!" 237 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:49,440 - "I see you, you little feathered shit!" - Ooh. 238 00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:52,360 - "I see you!" - "I see you!" 239 00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:54,680 - Please do it! - "You little feathered shit!" 240 00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:57,640 - He's doing it, he's doing it! - "Shit!" 241 00:09:57,680 --> 00:10:00,640 I see you, you little feathered shit! 242 00:10:00,680 --> 00:10:03,160 Oh, my goodness. Why do we even bother? 243 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:04,640 But Dave... 244 00:10:04,680 --> 00:10:07,400 David is... David is a fighter too. 245 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:08,720 Against what? 246 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:13,800 Like, the... You know, the apathy. 247 00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:16,680 I don't like you. 248 00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:19,600 I find you weaselly. 249 00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:23,280 Michael, what was going on in your head when you said that? 250 00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:25,920 Oh! Um... 251 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:28,080 - I mean, the truth. - Well, how do you mean? 252 00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:31,640 Well, you see, Nick, I don't actually like Simon. 253 00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:34,240 - Me? - No. God, no. 254 00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:38,600 No, not you. It's like looking in the mirror. No. Um, er...Simon the writer. 255 00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:40,680 OK, OK. But why not? 256 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:42,720 - Er... Have you met him? - No. 257 00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:45,160 - Meet him. - David is a complex character. 258 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:46,640 Well, no, he's not, really. 259 00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:48,760 - No, he... He is. - He never leaves the house. 260 00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:50,680 - Michael didn't leave the house. - He went to the library. 261 00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:51,880 I wish I could've left the house. 262 00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:53,600 I wish I could leave the house now. I'm not allowed. 263 00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:56,920 - I think Michael would have found a way. - Yes, I did actually go to the library. 264 00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:58,720 No! Only in the fucking show! 265 00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:01,720 David also wears just the same clothes. 266 00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:03,280 Yeah, which is a choice. 267 00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:05,760 - Well, it's a boring choice. - Hoo-hoo-hoo! 268 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:07,240 Hey, Michael do you have a scar? 269 00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:09,560 Um, a scar? 270 00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:12,240 - I have a scar. - Oh, do you, Nick? Where? 271 00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:14,120 Yes, I have one on my thigh. 272 00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:16,000 - Ooh. - I got it, um... 273 00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:17,480 Let's have a look. 274 00:11:17,520 --> 00:11:19,440 Ooh. Beauty! 275 00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:21,320 Which one did you get that in? 276 00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:23,120 (NICK MUTTERS) 277 00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:26,400 - In what? - I find the best characters have scars. 278 00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:28,920 - You know? - Yeah. I've got one here somewhere. 279 00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:31,320 No. Clumsy fucking idiots have scars. 280 00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:35,160 By definition, you have to be to get a scar. 281 00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:38,280 Michael's not a clumsy fucking idiot, Doctor Who. 282 00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:40,920 Michael is interesting. 283 00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:42,920 Michael is unpredictable. 284 00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:44,720 Yeah. I am unpredictable. 285 00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:46,200 I can be unpredictable. 286 00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:49,680 Oh, you... Go on, then. Do something unpredictable. 287 00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:51,120 Right now? 288 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,120 Yeah. 289 00:11:56,720 --> 00:11:59,120 I rest my case. I'm not playing David. 290 00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:00,240 I'm not playing David. 291 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:02,600 I could play David. 292 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:27,560 - We can't. - No, you're right. We can't. 293 00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:29,840 - I don't have time. - Neither do I. 294 00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:33,360 And I do not think the boys would understand. 295 00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:36,080 No. They wouldn't. 296 00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:38,520 If I'm honest, I don't think I want to. 297 00:12:38,560 --> 00:12:40,600 - No? - I did have a nice time last time, 298 00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:42,560 but I don't think I'd want to do it again with someone else. 299 00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:45,120 - I'll let Mary know. - But you can say yes if you want to. 300 00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:47,520 Oh, no, no. I think it should be both of us or neither. 301 00:12:47,560 --> 00:12:49,080 Yeah, we're a team, aren't we? 302 00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:50,680 Mm. 303 00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:52,880 And presumably they're looking for people who already 304 00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:54,040 have their own partners, right? 305 00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:56,080 - Maybe. - As part of the illusion. 306 00:12:58,080 --> 00:13:00,040 - Is Nick Frost married? - Is Simon Pegg married? 307 00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:04,240 I'll let Mary know. 308 00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:06,600 How is the trip to New York looking? 309 00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:10,120 - Ugh, the rules keep changing. - Mm. 310 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:12,200 And I want us to go to Sweden first, if we can. 311 00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:13,280 Oh, to see family? 312 00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:16,240 Yeah. I mean, they haven't seen Lyra in months, 313 00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:18,000 but it's a risk. 314 00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:20,720 Um, rules change again and we're stuck there. 315 00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:21,880 Would that be such a bad thing? 316 00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:23,520 Michael doesn't like the cold. 317 00:13:23,560 --> 00:13:24,760 David's like that too! 318 00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:26,880 - (CRASHING) - What was that? 319 00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:28,120 I don't know. 320 00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:29,480 You all right? 321 00:13:29,520 --> 00:13:31,040 DAVID: Yeah. I'm all right. 322 00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:32,480 What are you doing? 323 00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:33,720 DAVID: Do we have any bleach? 324 00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:37,880 - Just wait one second. - Hm. 325 00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:44,600 - Michael! - MICHAEL: Yeah. 326 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:46,240 Are you behaving? 327 00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:48,400 I'm just oil-painting with Lyra. 328 00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:51,000 (FOOTSTEPS) 329 00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:55,600 Everything all right? 330 00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:57,160 Yup. 331 00:13:57,200 --> 00:14:00,040 I just found him in the bathroom 332 00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:02,600 trying to cut his own hair. 333 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:04,520 OK. 334 00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:07,680 He said he was trying to do something unpredictable. 335 00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:09,680 - Why? - I don't know. 336 00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:14,280 I mean, you know, he was going to South Africa and then he was going to Italy 337 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:15,720 and now he's going to Romania. 338 00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:18,360 - Romania? - Yeah. I think 339 00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:22,000 he just feels like everyone else's lives are going back to normal faster than his. 340 00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:24,760 - Sure. - It's just... Erm, it's our routine. 341 00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:28,400 It's how it works. It's, you know, intense proximity followed by distance. 342 00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:29,760 It's a... You know, it's great. 343 00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:32,120 It's just that you can't have one without the other. 344 00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:33,320 Hm. 345 00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:40,040 (MICHAEL CHUCKLES) 346 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:41,880 Wow! That was a good day! 347 00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:48,600 Look, I'll admit, I wasn't keen on the idea at first, 348 00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:49,880 but it worked. 349 00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:52,000 - I thought it was a train wreck. - Well, it was your plan. 350 00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:54,320 Yeah, the plan was good, but the feedback was horrible. 351 00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:56,080 Oh, I wouldn't worry about that. 352 00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:58,440 No, you wouldn't worry about it, cos apparently you're... 353 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:01,760 ...you're the richest character since King Lear. 354 00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:03,120 Come on! 355 00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:07,480 Prospero bows down before your contradictions and complexities! 356 00:15:07,520 --> 00:15:08,680 Oh, stop it! 357 00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:12,840 I get a one-word summary in SparkNotes - inert. 358 00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:18,640 (IMITATES MICHAEL) Oh, no, David, you're not inert. 359 00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:21,000 No, David, you're not inert. 360 00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:22,720 Absolutely useless. 361 00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:26,040 Look, they weren't talking about you. They were talking about the character of you. 362 00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:27,880 The character is based on me! 363 00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:30,120 But there are seismic differences. 364 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:31,880 Name one seismic difference. 365 00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:35,280 You can't just put me on the spot. 366 00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:36,680 Name one minor difference. 367 00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:41,160 - (PHONE BUZZES) - Oh, thank fuck. (CLEARS THROAT) 368 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,480 Oh...ooh! Mary's office. 369 00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:44,680 OK. 370 00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:46,960 Tom wants to speak to us. 371 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:49,400 - Who the fuck's Tom? - Mary's assistant. 372 00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:51,680 - Is he? - Right, I'm going to send him a link. 373 00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:52,800 OK? 374 00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:55,200 (TYPES) 375 00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:59,640 - You're taller. - I'm taller? 376 00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:00,760 On the show. 377 00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:03,720 Oh, right, so I'm even... I'm even less impressive in real life? 378 00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:06,840 - What, you wanted something else? - Well, I'd like something, yeah. 379 00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:09,520 Er, look, I'm sorry they came at you like that, all right, 380 00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:12,800 but it worked. You're a... You're a Monkeyvellian genius. 381 00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:14,960 I'm a Monk...Monkeyvellian genius? 382 00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:18,240 - You said Monkeyvellian. - No, I didn't. 383 00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:19,680 Not Machiavellian. You said Monkeyvellian. 384 00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:21,480 You're upset. You're not hearing properly. 385 00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:25,080 So I'm a short...monkey... I'm a monkey pygmy genius. 386 00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:26,640 The plan worked. 387 00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:29,120 - OK? - Do you even have a scar? 388 00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:31,120 - No. - I fucking knew it! 389 00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:32,480 Hi there! 390 00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:34,760 - Ah. - Hey, hey! Tom! 391 00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:37,120 - Michael! - Hi, Tom. 392 00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:38,160 David! 393 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:39,240 How are you doing? 394 00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:42,240 Oh, I'm fucking great. Thank you so much for asking. 395 00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:43,720 - Nobody ever asks me that... - Sure. 396 00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:44,840 ...so thank you. 397 00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:48,640 - And you? And you, David? - Inert and dwarfish. 398 00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:51,080 - Oh, well, it's a good look for you. - Thank you. 399 00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:52,760 - I like that on you. - Thank you. 400 00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:55,000 - And I'm good, too. - I don't have time, Michael, 401 00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:58,360 so I just want to keep you guys in the loop real quick cos we are in a hurry, OK? 402 00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:01,640 Mary wanted you to know that Nick and Simon called 403 00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:05,680 and they were just so grateful for the time that you spent 404 00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:07,880 with them today. They went on and on about it. 405 00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:09,640 - They are so grateful that... - Great. 406 00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:11,680 ...two people like you would give that much time. 407 00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:13,200 - Great. - Great. 408 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:14,360 Great. 409 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:16,640 - Great. - Great. 410 00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:19,280 But they are stepping away from the project. 411 00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:20,640 Faff. I know. 412 00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:23,440 I know. What a shame. What a shame. 413 00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:26,440 But fuck it, OK? The team is already looking for another pairing. 414 00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:28,280 Another pairing? 415 00:17:28,320 --> 00:17:29,840 So a little mouse tells me. 416 00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:31,960 A li... A little mouse? 417 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,840 Mary. I'm talking about Mary. 418 00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:35,080 Oh, right. 419 00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:36,120 Well, that's exciting, then. 420 00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:38,880 Good stuff. Don't tell... Don't tell Mary I called her a little mouse, OK? 421 00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:40,240 - No, sure, sure, sure. - Whatever you do. 422 00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:41,600 No, no, won't. 423 00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:47,240 OK, great. Well, she wants to set up a meeting with both of you tomorrow. OK? 424 00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:48,560 With... With us? 425 00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:49,960 That's right, with you two. 426 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:53,160 That... That is great. That is great. 427 00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:55,800 Great. Does tomorrow at this time work? 428 00:17:55,840 --> 00:17:57,520 Abso... Absolutely, absolutely. 429 00:17:57,560 --> 00:17:59,160 I will clear my schedule for this. 430 00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:01,320 David, thank you for clearing your schedule. That's so kind. 431 00:18:01,360 --> 00:18:03,960 And this is to talk about the new pairing? 432 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,800 Give me a second real quick. I just have to send you this invite. 433 00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:09,040 - David, you have the same Gmail account? - Course. 434 00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:12,120 Great. And, Michael, I don't have any contact information. 435 00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:15,920 May I send it to your band's MySpace account? 436 00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:21,520 You have no contact? You're my agent and you have no contact information for me? 437 00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:23,760 It says... It says TBD for some reason. 438 00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:28,400 But I do have your MySpace account for a-a Welsh rock band that you used to be in? 439 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:29,720 The Dirty Mochyns. 440 00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:32,760 That's right. The Dirty Mochyns. That's right. Right here. And I'll just DM that. 441 00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:34,400 It's bouncing back. 442 00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:38,400 It's just sent me to a different one of your band pages on MySpace, Michael. 443 00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:41,160 How many bands have you been involved in, Michael? 444 00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:43,560 Well, after... So, after The Dirty Mochyns, 445 00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:44,680 it was The Ugly Gussets. 446 00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:45,800 Ugly Gussets. 447 00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:48,440 Can I get these on Spotify? Cos I might just have to... 448 00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:53,040 You can. Er, er, it's... Are You Gussied Enough? is... 449 00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:56,280 Or... Sorry, there's another song called Louis Gusset Junior. 450 00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:58,400 That sounds like a cracker. 451 00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:03,320 Michael, you know what I do have? Is this you? TheRealDavidFrost@aol.com? 452 00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:05,560 - That is not me. - Yeah. He talks just like you. 453 00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:07,360 I can read him one of his emails back. 454 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:08,920 "Hey, hey, ho, ho. It's me, Michael. 455 00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:10,440 "You know how I roll. 456 00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:13,480 "I would love to do this thing with Duracell. Batteries are my jam." 457 00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:15,360 - Is that you? - That does sound like you, Michael. 458 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:17,080 That does sound very like you. 459 00:19:17,120 --> 00:19:20,640 I'm sorry, I missed out on a job for Duracell batteries 460 00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:25,400 because you sent it to someone who just has the name David Frost in their AOL? 461 00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:27,680 I'm going to scroll through it. Tenet. Did you get the Tenet audition? 462 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:28,920 The Tennant audition? 463 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,400 Yeah. No, Tenet. Tenet. 464 00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:32,000 Christopher Nolan did a movie called Tenet. 465 00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:34,440 The Joker? Did you get that? You got a straight offer for Joker. 466 00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:36,760 - Did you get that? - No, I didn't get any of them. 467 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:40,920 A lot of his stuff goes to Martin Sheen. That's usually who people really want. 468 00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:43,680 OK, all right. So, I'll forward your stuff to Martin Sheen. 469 00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:46,480 - Does that sound good? - Just do that, Tom. Just do that. 470 00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:49,320 OK. Thank you, guys. OK, so I'll send this link to you guys. 471 00:19:49,360 --> 00:19:51,200 Thank you so much. 472 00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:53,480 Michael, always an honour. Thank you so much. 473 00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:55,240 This is about the new pairing. 474 00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:57,440 It's a new pairing. There's an absolute new pairing. 475 00:19:57,480 --> 00:19:59,840 And Mary wants to talk to us about that. 476 00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:02,680 No, no, no, no, no, no. She actually wants to just talk through the session 477 00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:04,600 that you had with Simon and Nick today. 478 00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:07,560 Who knows what that means? OK? 479 00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:10,760 And I am sending you a link now 480 00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:14,520 to your Gmail, David, and your AOL account, Michael. 481 00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:17,200 Er, great. OK, talk soon! 482 00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:20,040 - Bye. - Thanks. Bye. 483 00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:21,600 I wish I could stay for ever! 484 00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:23,640 But I'm gonna head out... I'll head out for now. 485 00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:25,280 - Right. - OK. 486 00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:31,720 She wants to run through the session we had with Simon and Nick today. 487 00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:33,400 Oh, fuck. Yeah. 488 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:35,640 Oh... 489 00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:37,280 That is worrying. 490 00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:48,720 (VIDEO GAME BEEPS) 491 00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:53,440 Hey, I'm sorry we fell out again, man. 492 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:55,680 And me. 493 00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:57,360 It's just an ugly side of me, you know? 494 00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:01,080 Yeah, me...too. 495 00:21:01,120 --> 00:21:02,160 Yeah! 496 00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:05,720 SIMON: Ah, you fiend! Goddamn it. 497 00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:06,920 Grr! 498 00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:10,480 When did we start playing games to resolve our arguments? 499 00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:14,160 I don't know. What was the alien one? 500 00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:15,760 Do you remember any of the titles? 501 00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:16,880 Not really. 502 00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:19,800 It was an argument, though, right? About billing. I remember that. 503 00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:21,800 Yes. Yes. How childish is that? 504 00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:25,200 If and when we work together again, you go first. 505 00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:27,760 - No! - Yeah, I insist. 506 00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:29,680 NICK: No, absolutely not. I don't want to. 507 00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:31,760 When in doubt, alphabetical order. 508 00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:33,840 Yeah, I know the rule. We all know the rule. 509 00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:35,920 Well, Frost comes before Pegg. 510 00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:37,000 There are exceptions. 511 00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:39,040 And Nick comes before Simon. So... 512 00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:40,640 So, what's your middle name? 513 00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:43,600 - John. - Aha! My middle name is John. 514 00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:44,880 - Is it?! - Yeah. 515 00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:46,800 - Did I know that? - Well, apparently not. 516 00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:47,840 SIMON: Hey! 517 00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:49,560 - But you're first. - No, you're first. 518 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:50,920 I owe you everything! 519 00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:52,880 You're... You're funnier. 520 00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:53,920 I know. 521 00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:56,840 You're more handsome. 522 00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:58,640 I know. 523 00:21:58,680 --> 00:21:59,920 You're the best. 524 00:21:59,960 --> 00:22:01,360 Yes, I know. 525 00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:05,200 Oh, man. I miss you, bud. 526 00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:07,200 Oh, man. I miss you. 527 00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:08,600 I'm glad we're not doing it. 528 00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:10,040 Yeah, me too. 529 00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:12,280 - Can you imagine that? - What, ending up like them? 530 00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:13,720 I don't even believe they're friends. 531 00:22:13,770 --> 00:22:18,320 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 40190

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