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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,515 --> 00:00:09,117 Ah, good morning, Kelsey. 2 00:00:09,428 --> 00:00:10,584 - Good morning, Liza. - Morning. 3 00:00:10,661 --> 00:00:12,622 - Good morning, Charles. - Nice weather we're having. 4 00:00:12,699 --> 00:00:13,966 Did you enjoy your walk to work? 5 00:00:14,043 --> 00:00:15,092 I did. 6 00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:16,278 I mean, I took a train. 7 00:00:16,355 --> 00:00:18,138 But the walking part was, uh, really nice. 8 00:00:18,215 --> 00:00:20,269 Sunny, but cold. I had a hat. 9 00:00:20,346 --> 00:00:23,301 Uh, okay, then. See you in there. 10 00:00:23,378 --> 00:00:25,492 - Okay. - Oh, my God. 11 00:00:25,569 --> 00:00:27,318 Ever since you two pressed "pause," 12 00:00:27,395 --> 00:00:29,490 you're so damn polite to each other. 13 00:00:29,567 --> 00:00:32,814 It's like... watching two butlers in love. 14 00:00:33,247 --> 00:00:36,453 The Frankfurt Book Fair is next week, 15 00:00:36,530 --> 00:00:39,552 and this year I've decided on a show of strength. 16 00:00:39,629 --> 00:00:42,306 So Kelsey, Zane, Diana, 17 00:00:42,442 --> 00:00:44,963 and Liza, get your passports in order. 18 00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:47,015 Surely you don't need me to go. 19 00:00:47,092 --> 00:00:48,841 I'll stay here and hold down the fort. 20 00:00:48,918 --> 00:00:50,252 Liza can help me. 21 00:00:50,350 --> 00:00:52,434 Nope. This is a full court press. 22 00:00:52,511 --> 00:00:54,601 After the hit we took with the L.L. Moore scandal, 23 00:00:54,678 --> 00:00:56,206 we have to be more visible than ever. 24 00:00:56,283 --> 00:00:58,745 So Millennial, you got plenty to brag about this year. 25 00:00:58,822 --> 00:01:02,968 But... Zane, this is a chance for Empirical to close the gap, 26 00:01:03,045 --> 00:01:05,103 so work your contacts, set up some meetings. 27 00:01:05,180 --> 00:01:07,207 A little, uh, in-house competition 28 00:01:07,284 --> 00:01:08,619 is good for everyone. 29 00:01:10,731 --> 00:01:13,447 Why do I suddenly feel like I'm in the minors? 30 00:01:13,631 --> 00:01:16,347 "Millennial, you're great. Empirical, don't give up hope." 31 00:01:16,424 --> 00:01:19,095 - I'm sure he didn't mean it... - Save it. 32 00:01:20,645 --> 00:01:23,017 Wow, so I'm going to Frankfurt. 33 00:01:24,007 --> 00:01:26,302 It's kind of exciting, right? Don't get too excited. 34 00:01:26,379 --> 00:01:28,938 They found the most charmless city in Europe to host it. 35 00:01:29,015 --> 00:01:31,213 It's like Buffalo, with dumplings. 36 00:01:31,628 --> 00:01:33,072 Lovely language, German. 37 00:01:33,331 --> 00:01:34,872 Like a thousand cats coughing. 38 00:01:34,949 --> 00:01:37,361 So much for keeping your distance from Charles. 39 00:01:40,936 --> 00:01:43,627 *YOUNGER* Season 05 Episode 11 40 00:01:43,729 --> 00:01:46,418 *YOUNGER* Episode Title: "Fraudlein" 41 00:01:46,495 --> 00:01:48,600 Synchronized by srjanapala 42 00:01:48,796 --> 00:01:50,870 Really guarding that thing with your life, huh? 43 00:01:50,947 --> 00:01:53,615 Oh, yeah. I got a money belt too for my traveler's checks. 44 00:01:53,692 --> 00:01:56,669 - Ooh, they still make those? - They make me feel jet-setty. 45 00:01:56,746 --> 00:01:59,549 You got your hat box and your steamer trunk too? 46 00:01:59,626 --> 00:02:01,319 Diana. 47 00:02:01,528 --> 00:02:04,494 Meine Babypuppe. Aw. 48 00:02:04,845 --> 00:02:06,849 Are we ready to rock this town? 49 00:02:06,926 --> 00:02:08,943 Cheryl Sussman, my liebchen. 50 00:02:09,020 --> 00:02:13,476 My BFFF. Best Frankfurt Friend Forever. 51 00:02:13,553 --> 00:02:14,862 Drinks later in the beer garden? 52 00:02:14,939 --> 00:02:16,097 Oh, I have had such a day. 53 00:02:16,174 --> 00:02:18,765 My pod in first class wouldn't... pod, 54 00:02:18,842 --> 00:02:20,521 so I think I'm just gonna lay low tonight. 55 00:02:20,598 --> 00:02:22,439 Nonsense, wingwoman. 56 00:02:22,523 --> 00:02:25,283 We're gonna party like it's 1999. 57 00:02:25,576 --> 00:02:27,177 Remember 1999? 58 00:02:27,254 --> 00:02:30,156 You tried to take your pantyhose off over your head 59 00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:31,724 at the Simon and Schuster party. 60 00:02:31,801 --> 00:02:33,416 We were a lot younger. 61 00:02:33,715 --> 00:02:36,404 Oh, come on, it's not how old you are, 62 00:02:36,481 --> 00:02:38,353 it's how old you feel. 63 00:02:38,799 --> 00:02:41,322 Or how old you say you are. 64 00:02:41,399 --> 00:02:44,193 Hello, ladies. Cheryl Sussman. 65 00:02:44,454 --> 00:02:45,835 Plaza Publishing. 66 00:02:46,014 --> 00:02:47,271 Yeah, we've met. 67 00:02:47,348 --> 00:02:49,888 Oh, uh, you remember my assistant, Liza? 68 00:02:49,965 --> 00:02:53,248 Of course I remember. I remember everything. 69 00:02:53,490 --> 00:02:55,486 - Hi. - Hi. 70 00:02:55,623 --> 00:02:57,314 Frankfurt, baby. 71 00:03:00,123 --> 00:03:02,065 Forgot you'd met Cheryl Sussman. 72 00:03:02,142 --> 00:03:05,135 Uh, yeah, from my old life, back at Random House. 73 00:03:05,212 --> 00:03:07,145 Oh, my God. She knows? 74 00:03:07,222 --> 00:03:09,344 She plays dirty, Liza. I know. 75 00:03:09,421 --> 00:03:10,899 Don't worry about it. It's handled. 76 00:03:10,976 --> 00:03:13,781 Handled? What's been handled? 77 00:03:13,858 --> 00:03:15,736 Never mind. I don't wanna know. 78 00:03:21,654 --> 00:03:22,813 Yes. 79 00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:24,620 I just... I can't believe I'm here. 80 00:03:24,697 --> 00:03:26,204 Besides Ireland last year... 81 00:03:26,281 --> 00:03:27,675 I mean, I've only been to Europe once, 82 00:03:27,752 --> 00:03:29,744 and that was 20 years ago for my honey... 83 00:03:32,109 --> 00:03:33,960 Suckle. Honeysuckle birthday. 84 00:03:34,037 --> 00:03:36,517 You know, the thing where every, uh, birthday 85 00:03:36,594 --> 00:03:38,712 is a flo... a flower? 86 00:03:38,833 --> 00:03:42,007 Y... you... Seven is honeysuckle. 87 00:03:42,287 --> 00:03:44,892 Eight is Daisy. 88 00:03:45,091 --> 00:03:47,616 Ten is Tiger lily. 89 00:03:47,693 --> 00:03:48,942 Yeah, I've hear of that. 90 00:03:49,019 --> 00:03:50,864 - It's a New Jersey thing, right? - Yep. 91 00:03:50,941 --> 00:03:52,483 Can we try to be more cosmopolitan? 92 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:53,940 We're in Frankfurt, not Trenton. 93 00:03:54,017 --> 00:03:56,361 More weiner, frauleins? 94 00:03:58,661 --> 00:04:00,389 We're gut. 95 00:04:01,590 --> 00:04:04,874 Wow. Light on leder, heavy on hosen. 96 00:04:04,951 --> 00:04:06,586 What's camel toe for a man? 97 00:04:06,663 --> 00:04:09,928 Oh, eh... Elchknochel. 98 00:04:10,005 --> 00:04:12,634 - Elchknochel. - Moose knuckle. 99 00:04:12,711 --> 00:04:15,444 Moose knuckle. 100 00:04:15,749 --> 00:04:18,874 - Elchknochel. - Elchknochel. 101 00:04:22,316 --> 00:04:25,424 Um, you know wha... Uh, excuse me. 102 00:04:25,501 --> 00:04:28,874 I'm gonna use the little fraulein's room. 103 00:04:32,557 --> 00:04:33,863 Schnapps? 104 00:04:34,989 --> 00:04:36,718 Already on my second. 105 00:04:37,557 --> 00:04:39,226 Something wrong? 106 00:04:39,690 --> 00:04:42,476 I wouldn't want anybody in the company to know about this, 107 00:04:42,553 --> 00:04:45,240 but our trip here, it's a Hail Mary pass. 108 00:04:45,317 --> 00:04:48,085 Wait, did Quinn Tyler say no to investing? 109 00:04:48,523 --> 00:04:50,862 Uh... she seems so happy with the editing we're doing. 110 00:04:50,939 --> 00:04:52,905 - I was hoping that... - No-no word yet. 111 00:04:54,248 --> 00:04:56,690 But I... I can't put all my eggs in one basket, 112 00:04:56,767 --> 00:04:59,342 so... I booked back-to-back meetings 113 00:04:59,419 --> 00:05:03,140 with international investors, and three just cancelled. 114 00:05:03,524 --> 00:05:06,647 And I have four more tomorrow, but... 115 00:05:06,730 --> 00:05:08,445 I'm so sorry. I didn't know. 116 00:05:08,522 --> 00:05:10,335 Been a tough year. 117 00:05:11,834 --> 00:05:13,560 You're the one bright spot. 118 00:05:13,746 --> 00:05:18,094 Except that you're two feet away from me, and I can't... 119 00:05:18,171 --> 00:05:19,699 I know. 120 00:05:19,933 --> 00:05:22,049 And it's... it's worse over here. 121 00:05:22,126 --> 00:05:25,059 Am I crazy? But I think that Frankfurt's romantic. 122 00:05:25,594 --> 00:05:27,145 Paris should look out. 123 00:05:27,446 --> 00:05:31,441 I would love to take you there. 124 00:05:31,930 --> 00:05:33,028 Right now. 125 00:05:33,118 --> 00:05:35,804 Go to the train station, book a sleeper car, 126 00:05:35,881 --> 00:05:37,723 and wake up in a different world. 127 00:05:37,863 --> 00:05:39,416 I miss you. 128 00:05:39,764 --> 00:05:41,348 I miss you too. 129 00:05:41,500 --> 00:05:43,621 You're the only person I wanna talk to. 130 00:05:43,698 --> 00:05:47,364 But the more we talk, the more I wanna hold you 131 00:05:47,452 --> 00:05:49,655 or kiss you, and if we do that, 132 00:05:49,732 --> 00:05:53,981 then... you'll be going back on your decision. 133 00:05:54,461 --> 00:05:55,892 And you'll hate me. 134 00:05:55,969 --> 00:05:58,285 I could never hate you, Charles. 135 00:05:59,102 --> 00:06:01,168 This is temporary. 136 00:06:01,833 --> 00:06:04,356 You'll get the company back on its feet. 137 00:06:04,580 --> 00:06:06,051 I know you will. 138 00:06:06,383 --> 00:06:08,129 And I hope so. 139 00:06:08,868 --> 00:06:10,770 Wish me luck tomorrow. 140 00:06:10,954 --> 00:06:12,770 You don't need it. 141 00:06:13,095 --> 00:06:14,797 I do. 142 00:06:15,753 --> 00:06:19,902 We have three months of operating expenses left. 143 00:06:20,493 --> 00:06:23,074 If we don't get an investor, 144 00:06:24,244 --> 00:06:26,996 Empirical, Millennial, 145 00:06:27,091 --> 00:06:29,429 everything that we have all worked for 146 00:06:29,506 --> 00:06:30,953 will just... 147 00:06:32,971 --> 00:06:34,571 disappear. 148 00:06:40,634 --> 00:06:44,856 ♪ 'Cause you've got that something ♪ 149 00:06:47,370 --> 00:06:50,965 ♪ 'Cause you've got that something ♪ 150 00:07:05,742 --> 00:07:08,053 Hello, fraud-lein. 151 00:07:08,298 --> 00:07:10,840 Did you hear the D? 'Cause I put it in there. 152 00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:15,887 "Fraud-lein"? 153 00:07:16,368 --> 00:07:17,563 Great. 154 00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:19,039 I've just heard from Karl Teuscher. 155 00:07:19,116 --> 00:07:20,272 It's ours, the title. 156 00:07:20,349 --> 00:07:21,637 - What's ours? - Oh, my God. 157 00:07:21,714 --> 00:07:24,290 Okay, every year a book makes such a splash in Frankfurt, 158 00:07:24,367 --> 00:07:25,674 that they call it the Book of the Fair. 159 00:07:25,751 --> 00:07:28,119 This year there are two. Both of them ours. 160 00:07:28,196 --> 00:07:29,666 "Marriage Vacation," and "Capital Letters." 161 00:07:29,743 --> 00:07:33,186 - It has never happened before. - Oh, my gosh! 162 00:07:33,263 --> 00:07:35,196 Oh, stretching. That's... that's better. 163 00:07:35,273 --> 00:07:37,054 Yeah, no, I set up an impromptu press panel. 164 00:07:37,131 --> 00:07:38,463 You know, I thought it'd be nice to have sort of a... 165 00:07:38,540 --> 00:07:41,255 A sales... oh, my God. Oh, wow. Word must be out. 166 00:07:41,332 --> 00:07:42,426 Oh, my gosh. 167 00:07:42,503 --> 00:07:44,375 Oh, uh, Diana, can you get me a pen? 168 00:07:44,452 --> 00:07:46,462 - What? - I need a pen. Can you just... 169 00:07:47,373 --> 00:07:48,505 Go on. 170 00:07:48,582 --> 00:07:52,369 Um, can you, uh, just excuse me while I go get myself a pen? 171 00:07:52,615 --> 00:07:54,978 I'll get you a pen, Liza. 172 00:07:55,164 --> 00:07:57,509 Just remember this moment well. 173 00:07:57,788 --> 00:07:59,272 I certainly will. 174 00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:01,907 Hey, Trout. 175 00:08:01,984 --> 00:08:04,393 So Millennial's the talk of the Fair. 176 00:08:04,617 --> 00:08:07,349 What do those young girls have that we old gals don't? 177 00:08:07,426 --> 00:08:09,090 Oh, I don't know. Of course, I have been 178 00:08:09,158 --> 00:08:11,494 grooming Kelsey for years, but it wasn't till I loaned her 179 00:08:11,596 --> 00:08:13,719 my assistant that things really took off. 180 00:08:13,796 --> 00:08:15,004 - Oh. - You can't work for me 181 00:08:15,081 --> 00:08:16,350 for long without absorbing 182 00:08:16,427 --> 00:08:17,974 - some wisdom. - Right. 183 00:08:18,051 --> 00:08:19,984 - That Lisa girl. - Liza. Yes. 184 00:08:20,074 --> 00:08:22,002 - Mm. - I mentored her pretty hard. 185 00:08:22,079 --> 00:08:23,645 God love her. She's so green. 186 00:08:23,722 --> 00:08:26,231 She's basically doing it for the assistant salary I pay her. 187 00:08:26,308 --> 00:08:28,089 Interesting. What are those? 188 00:08:28,166 --> 00:08:31,233 - Oh, just the souvenirs. - Mm-hmm. 189 00:08:31,310 --> 00:08:32,326 Oh, please. 190 00:08:32,403 --> 00:08:35,127 It's not what we remember of Frankfurt, DiDi. 191 00:08:35,264 --> 00:08:37,323 It's what Frankfurt remembers of us. 192 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:39,783 And it remembers 1999. 193 00:08:40,285 --> 00:08:42,700 Standing ovation, I seem to recall. 194 00:08:42,777 --> 00:08:44,505 I am afraid those days are over. 195 00:08:44,582 --> 00:08:46,234 I've spoken to the band leader. 196 00:08:46,311 --> 00:08:48,455 She's game if we are. 197 00:08:48,913 --> 00:08:51,707 - You cannot be serious. - Oh, I'm dead serious. 198 00:08:51,784 --> 00:08:53,051 I'll see you tonight. 199 00:08:53,128 --> 00:08:55,744 Unless you're, like your company, 200 00:08:55,885 --> 00:08:57,502 past your prime. 201 00:09:01,428 --> 00:09:04,188 ♪ Hey, hey ♪ 202 00:09:04,574 --> 00:09:07,552 ♪ I like it ♪ 203 00:09:07,629 --> 00:09:09,129 - Josh. - Hey. 204 00:09:09,206 --> 00:09:10,840 Marlowe and Daughters had crown roast. 205 00:09:10,917 --> 00:09:12,581 So you're coming over, and bring Lauren. 206 00:09:12,649 --> 00:09:13,849 - All right. - I wanna make up 207 00:09:13,924 --> 00:09:15,298 for the last one that I ruined. 208 00:09:15,368 --> 00:09:18,508 So it's just the four of us, and it'll be fun, I promise. 209 00:09:18,585 --> 00:09:20,782 No drama. We have meet, wine, and weed. 210 00:09:20,859 --> 00:09:23,318 Okay. The Maggie Amato Trifecta. 211 00:09:23,395 --> 00:09:25,034 - I am in. - Yes, all right. 212 00:09:25,111 --> 00:09:26,885 - See you later. - Bye. 213 00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:32,683 Well, what's next? 214 00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:36,687 Uh, the paperback release of "Marriage Vacation," of course. 215 00:09:36,780 --> 00:09:39,776 And a new nonfiction book that we are just editing now, 216 00:09:39,853 --> 00:09:42,927 by world-renowned finance expert Quinn Tyler. 217 00:09:43,004 --> 00:09:44,677 A provocative examination 218 00:09:44,754 --> 00:09:46,954 of women helping women in business. 219 00:09:47,043 --> 00:09:48,656 Next question? 220 00:09:49,192 --> 00:09:51,290 Yeah, you keep mentioning young people, 221 00:09:51,367 --> 00:09:53,755 but tell me, how old is this tall one? 222 00:09:53,832 --> 00:09:56,462 Um, old enough to know an appropriate question 223 00:09:56,539 --> 00:09:58,269 when I hear it, and that wasn't it. 224 00:09:58,346 --> 00:10:00,065 Next. Uh, follow up. 225 00:10:00,142 --> 00:10:02,405 Maybe it's the light. If you move a little... 226 00:10:02,482 --> 00:10:04,071 No, it doesn't help. 227 00:10:04,148 --> 00:10:06,175 So does the young one do the young books 228 00:10:06,252 --> 00:10:07,565 and you do the old ones? 229 00:10:07,642 --> 00:10:09,989 Believe me, we are both millennials. 230 00:10:10,066 --> 00:10:11,409 - Yeah. - Next question. 231 00:10:11,486 --> 00:10:14,341 From somebody else. You look young, though. 232 00:10:14,418 --> 00:10:16,782 So you should tell her your face cream. 233 00:10:16,859 --> 00:10:20,675 That is women helping women. And you do what she tells you. 234 00:10:20,752 --> 00:10:22,443 Push up, always up. 235 00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:24,542 Oh, we're out of time. Thank you very much. 236 00:10:24,619 --> 00:10:26,679 Uh, thank you. No, we're good. 237 00:10:27,712 --> 00:10:29,849 Gosh, Kelsey, I am so sorry. I... 238 00:10:29,926 --> 00:10:31,793 I know I look tired. It's the jetlag and... 239 00:10:31,870 --> 00:10:32,980 It's fine, don't worry about it. 240 00:10:33,057 --> 00:10:34,005 It's part of the deal. 241 00:10:34,082 --> 00:10:35,847 I just... I hate that you have to keep covering for me. 242 00:10:35,924 --> 00:10:37,437 I don't wanna talk about it anymore. 243 00:10:37,514 --> 00:10:39,541 You know what I wanna do? I wanna go get drunk. 244 00:10:39,618 --> 00:10:41,050 You in? 245 00:10:48,098 --> 00:10:50,851 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 246 00:10:57,043 --> 00:11:00,339 Ooh! I am gonna get us drinks. 247 00:11:00,416 --> 00:11:03,000 Okay. Wow. 248 00:11:03,470 --> 00:11:05,341 - Hello, youngster. - Mm. 249 00:11:05,418 --> 00:11:06,958 Did they card you at the door? 250 00:11:07,035 --> 00:11:08,734 Cheryl, I'm not here to get blackmailed. 251 00:11:08,811 --> 00:11:12,296 Look, what I wanna say is, congratulations. 252 00:11:12,373 --> 00:11:13,497 You're a hit. 253 00:11:13,574 --> 00:11:16,263 Empirical's on the ropes, but you guys, wow. 254 00:11:16,340 --> 00:11:18,230 Thank you, but Empirical's gonna be... 255 00:11:18,307 --> 00:11:19,954 So I wanna offer you a job. 256 00:11:20,130 --> 00:11:22,568 I'm pretty sure you're not making what you deserve, 257 00:11:22,645 --> 00:11:25,437 and I can fix that, so come to Plaza. 258 00:11:25,514 --> 00:11:27,703 - You're joking. - No. 259 00:11:28,302 --> 00:11:31,003 You're killing it for a company that's going underwater, 260 00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:33,437 and I'm throwing you a life preserver. 261 00:11:33,552 --> 00:11:37,044 And the great part is I know your age. 262 00:11:37,121 --> 00:11:39,210 So you wouldn't have to lie anymore. 263 00:11:39,325 --> 00:11:42,351 Or put your employer or your colleagues at risk. 264 00:11:42,458 --> 00:11:44,430 You can't keep this a secret much longer. 265 00:11:44,507 --> 00:11:46,258 And if I say no, you'll expose me? 266 00:11:46,335 --> 00:11:50,466 No. Look, Liza, you're a mother, I'm a mother. 267 00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:53,101 I swear on my children's lives. 268 00:11:53,348 --> 00:11:56,046 Well, the younger one. 269 00:11:56,229 --> 00:11:59,299 Look, your secret's safe with me, I promise. 270 00:11:59,379 --> 00:12:00,880 And when it explodes, 271 00:12:00,957 --> 00:12:02,966 your friends will be under the rubble. 272 00:12:03,043 --> 00:12:06,000 Anyway, there's no pressure, just, you know, think about it. 273 00:12:13,496 --> 00:12:14,647 Guten Abend. 274 00:12:14,724 --> 00:12:16,583 - You look happy. - Hmm. 275 00:12:16,660 --> 00:12:18,765 - How'd your meetings go? - Excellent. 276 00:12:18,902 --> 00:12:24,058 I think that Media-Italia is interested in investing in us. 277 00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,242 Very interested. How was your day? 278 00:12:26,332 --> 00:12:29,118 Great. Except our press panel got a little off track. 279 00:12:29,195 --> 00:12:30,910 - What happened? - Um... 280 00:12:30,987 --> 00:12:32,823 Had to pull this one away from the bar. 281 00:12:32,900 --> 00:12:35,903 - Whoa! Oh, ho, ho, hoh. - Easy. 282 00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:39,828 - How about something to eat? - I am celebrating, okay? 283 00:12:39,905 --> 00:12:42,072 I'm the hit of the Buchmesse. 284 00:12:42,149 --> 00:12:44,242 Yeah, if you don't slow down, you're gonna be the mess 285 00:12:44,319 --> 00:12:45,292 of the Buchmesse. 286 00:12:45,369 --> 00:12:47,403 Oh, mess of the Buchmesse. 287 00:12:48,580 --> 00:12:51,643 Und now, ladies und gentlemen, 288 00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:54,158 back by popular demand, the Kit Kat Klub 289 00:12:54,235 --> 00:12:56,836 is happy to introduce to you, fresh from New York, 290 00:12:56,913 --> 00:13:00,164 those singing sensations, Fraulein ChiChi Sussman, 291 00:13:00,241 --> 00:13:01,947 and Fraulein DiDi Trout. 292 00:13:02,024 --> 00:13:03,125 What? 293 00:13:05,227 --> 00:13:06,393 Oh! 294 00:13:09,579 --> 00:13:11,101 ♪ Welcome ♪ 295 00:13:11,178 --> 00:13:12,505 Huh. 296 00:13:12,666 --> 00:13:15,290 ♪♪ 297 00:13:15,367 --> 00:13:17,895 ♪ Stranger ♪ 298 00:13:18,140 --> 00:13:19,336 - Ooh. - Yeah! 299 00:13:19,413 --> 00:13:22,587 ♪♪ 300 00:13:22,738 --> 00:13:23,799 Wow. 301 00:13:23,876 --> 00:13:26,710 ♪ Happy to see you ♪ 302 00:13:26,787 --> 00:13:27,924 ♪♪ 303 00:13:28,001 --> 00:13:29,844 - ♪ Stay ♪ - Whoo! 304 00:13:29,921 --> 00:13:32,359 Yes. 305 00:13:32,436 --> 00:13:33,913 ♪ Welcome ♪ 306 00:13:33,990 --> 00:13:39,175 ♪ Im cabaret, au cabaret, to cabaret ♪ 307 00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:43,094 ♪♪ 308 00:13:43,203 --> 00:13:45,847 Ladies... and gentlemen. 309 00:13:46,012 --> 00:13:48,726 ♪♪ 310 00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:50,575 Good evening. 311 00:13:50,652 --> 00:13:53,336 ♪♪ 312 00:13:53,453 --> 00:13:56,824 - Do you feel good? - I feel good, Cheryl, I do. 313 00:13:56,987 --> 00:14:00,164 ♪♪ 314 00:14:00,258 --> 00:14:02,016 - ♪ We are your hosts ♪ - ♪ We are your hosts ♪ 315 00:14:02,093 --> 00:14:05,368 ♪♪ 316 00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:07,483 ♪ Welcome ♪ 317 00:14:07,560 --> 00:14:13,496 ♪ Im cabaret, au cabaret, to cabaret ♪ 318 00:14:13,637 --> 00:14:16,074 Whoo! Whoo. 319 00:14:21,328 --> 00:14:24,920 Whoo! 320 00:14:25,332 --> 00:14:27,539 - Ah... - Oh... 321 00:14:27,616 --> 00:14:30,160 Thank you. Thank you so much. 322 00:14:30,849 --> 00:14:33,945 Oh, we still got it, DiDi. Am I thirsty? 323 00:14:34,022 --> 00:14:36,254 - Liza, shots, please. - Doubles. 324 00:14:36,331 --> 00:14:37,639 You got it, boss. 325 00:14:37,716 --> 00:14:39,292 Hey, you wanna see a magic trick? 326 00:14:39,369 --> 00:14:40,809 - What? - I'm gonna drink this 327 00:14:40,886 --> 00:14:42,567 and turn into a different person. 328 00:14:42,644 --> 00:14:44,493 Watch this. 329 00:14:45,367 --> 00:14:46,746 ♪ ♪ 330 00:14:46,823 --> 00:14:48,509 Mmm. 331 00:14:48,919 --> 00:14:50,359 Okay. Okay, okay. 332 00:14:50,436 --> 00:14:53,418 That is a Frankfurt Freebie. 333 00:14:53,532 --> 00:14:55,765 And there's more where that came from, 334 00:14:55,842 --> 00:14:57,672 - if you're interested. - Aha. 335 00:14:57,749 --> 00:15:00,734 'Cause I came ♪♪♪ to furt to frank. 336 00:15:00,811 --> 00:15:02,594 No, that's not right. 337 00:15:02,671 --> 00:15:05,594 I came to Frank ♪♪♪ to furt. 338 00:15:05,671 --> 00:15:07,001 No. 339 00:15:07,229 --> 00:15:10,562 I, uh, think I ought to get back to the hotel. 340 00:15:10,639 --> 00:15:12,316 - Yep. - You do that. 341 00:15:12,393 --> 00:15:14,539 - Goodnight, Charles. - Good night. - Will see you. 342 00:15:14,616 --> 00:15:15,949 I'm so sorry. 343 00:15:16,673 --> 00:15:19,853 Yeah. Now that the boss is gone we can really drink. 344 00:15:19,930 --> 00:15:21,543 - Oh. - Wait, wait, wait, hold on. 345 00:15:21,620 --> 00:15:24,785 - That was you holding back? - All right, ladies. 346 00:15:25,367 --> 00:15:26,828 - Where's Charles? - He left. 347 00:15:26,905 --> 00:15:28,414 Hey, there, Scheisse Minnelli, 348 00:15:28,491 --> 00:15:31,676 - you wanna go on a pub crawl? - Ha! Hell, yeah. 349 00:15:40,972 --> 00:15:43,188 I think I found a way out for you and me. 350 00:15:43,833 --> 00:15:46,162 For all of us. Can I come in? 351 00:15:46,239 --> 00:15:49,403 I can't promise I won't try to kiss you. 352 00:15:50,060 --> 00:15:52,388 Me first. 353 00:16:01,673 --> 00:16:04,791 Okay, so I wanted to get an erotic cake 354 00:16:04,868 --> 00:16:07,330 from the kosher bakery on Driggs with four breasts, 355 00:16:07,407 --> 00:16:08,734 you know, in honor of your new love, 356 00:16:08,811 --> 00:16:11,072 - but it's a Build-A-Bear now. - I know. 357 00:16:11,149 --> 00:16:13,297 I can top that. Okay, this hipster family 358 00:16:13,374 --> 00:16:16,833 comes into the shop last night, and they wanna tattoo, 359 00:16:17,406 --> 00:16:18,653 get ready, their seven-year-old son. 360 00:16:18,730 --> 00:16:20,344 - Stop. - No. - I swear. 361 00:16:20,421 --> 00:16:21,479 Oh, my God. 362 00:16:21,556 --> 00:16:22,598 - Unbelievable. - You know, 363 00:16:22,675 --> 00:16:24,266 I haven't lived here for 20 years 364 00:16:24,343 --> 00:16:26,867 to start dodging stroller traffic on the sidewalk. 365 00:16:26,944 --> 00:16:29,916 I mean, junkies, yes. But strollers, no. 366 00:16:29,993 --> 00:16:31,795 And you know, it's not just the straight hipsters. 367 00:16:31,872 --> 00:16:33,822 I mean, now, it's lesbian couples now 368 00:16:33,899 --> 00:16:35,313 - that wanna have kids. - Oh, I know. 369 00:16:35,390 --> 00:16:37,369 I'm so misguided. I mean, so many of those kids 370 00:16:37,446 --> 00:16:38,584 are gonna turn out straight. 371 00:16:38,661 --> 00:16:40,705 It's like mice having a litter of kittens. 372 00:16:40,782 --> 00:16:42,033 You know, sure, they're gonna be cute 373 00:16:42,110 --> 00:16:43,649 for the first couple of years, but then, you know, 374 00:16:43,726 --> 00:16:45,571 they're gonna turn. They are gonna turn. 375 00:16:45,704 --> 00:16:48,533 But I... but you must know, you must know, 376 00:16:48,610 --> 00:16:50,253 straight people are not the enemy. 377 00:16:50,330 --> 00:16:52,711 - Thank you. Right back at ya. - Right? Right? 378 00:16:52,788 --> 00:16:56,357 And second of all, I was hoping to be one of those clichés. 379 00:16:56,434 --> 00:17:01,072 I tried really hard for a year, but, ugh, it's expensive. 380 00:17:01,149 --> 00:17:02,779 So I had to just give it up. 381 00:17:02,856 --> 00:17:05,801 - Wait, you wanna have a baby? - Yeah. 382 00:17:05,884 --> 00:17:08,268 You don't think I'd be a good mom? 383 00:17:08,345 --> 00:17:10,666 - No, you'd be amazing. - Thank you. 384 00:17:10,743 --> 00:17:12,229 Come on, just have a C-section. 385 00:17:12,306 --> 00:17:13,945 You know, you don't wanna stretch out your good sweater. 386 00:17:14,022 --> 00:17:15,489 Oh, my God. 387 00:17:15,704 --> 00:17:17,721 You know what? Seriously, Maggie, 388 00:17:17,798 --> 00:17:19,674 you can relax, because, I mean, 389 00:17:19,751 --> 00:17:21,081 forget the fertility treatments, 390 00:17:21,158 --> 00:17:23,364 I can't even afford a sperm donor. 391 00:17:23,441 --> 00:17:26,667 - Unless Josh wants to pitch in. - Oh. Hey, now. 392 00:17:26,744 --> 00:17:28,539 Friends and family discount. Really? 393 00:17:28,616 --> 00:17:30,056 - Mm-hmm. - Yes. 394 00:17:30,133 --> 00:17:32,289 He would be amazing. Those shoulders. 395 00:17:32,366 --> 00:17:34,119 Oy, that face. Yes, come on. 396 00:17:34,196 --> 00:17:35,429 It'll look good on a boy or a girl. 397 00:17:35,506 --> 00:17:38,054 You guys, we should do it lesbian old school. 398 00:17:38,131 --> 00:17:41,140 I'm talking sporty mullets, turkey basters, 399 00:17:41,217 --> 00:17:42,640 Dinah Shore Weekend. 400 00:17:42,774 --> 00:17:45,861 Wait, wait, wait. What is your family history? 401 00:17:45,938 --> 00:17:46,955 - Mm? - And also, 402 00:17:47,032 --> 00:17:49,256 have you had work done? Because I really worry 403 00:17:49,484 --> 00:17:51,910 about noses, and this one, it's been touched. 404 00:17:52,453 --> 00:17:55,403 - No, it's mine. It's mine. - Are you sure? You promise? 405 00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:57,197 Ho... ho... hold on, hold on. 406 00:17:57,274 --> 00:17:59,244 First you spring in the baby thing on me, 407 00:17:59,321 --> 00:18:00,906 and now you're asking my friend for sperm? 408 00:18:00,983 --> 00:18:03,008 Well, do you know how much sperm costs? 409 00:18:03,085 --> 00:18:04,275 It's a lot. 410 00:18:04,352 --> 00:18:06,552 So I have to follow up on any option. 411 00:18:06,629 --> 00:18:09,846 So, wait a second, even if you could afford 412 00:18:09,923 --> 00:18:11,312 to do it, you still want a baby? 413 00:18:11,389 --> 00:18:12,354 Yeah. 414 00:18:12,431 --> 00:18:14,653 When were you planning on telling me this? 415 00:18:14,790 --> 00:18:17,765 I don't know, when we were on solid ground again. 416 00:18:17,842 --> 00:18:19,226 I thought we were. 417 00:18:19,337 --> 00:18:21,078 I guess I was just really worried 418 00:18:21,155 --> 00:18:23,191 about how you were gonna react. 419 00:18:23,446 --> 00:18:27,488 Oh. I'm blindsided. 420 00:18:28,187 --> 00:18:30,192 Well, I'm disappointed. 421 00:18:32,359 --> 00:18:35,851 ♪ Doo do do do do Doo do do, yeah ♪ 422 00:18:35,928 --> 00:18:37,556 You at Plaza? 423 00:18:37,633 --> 00:18:39,939 That's a lot to wrap my head around. 424 00:18:40,016 --> 00:18:42,101 It's not just about you and me, Charles. 425 00:18:42,178 --> 00:18:44,950 It's what my lie is doing to Kelsey. 426 00:18:45,118 --> 00:18:47,324 If I'm gone, she can breathe easy. 427 00:18:47,638 --> 00:18:51,106 But Millennial is our biggest asset. 428 00:18:51,868 --> 00:18:53,685 Is it gonna be as strong without you? 429 00:18:53,762 --> 00:18:56,564 Kelsey's the star. You saw something in her 430 00:18:56,641 --> 00:18:58,903 a year before I got here, and she delivered. 431 00:18:59,267 --> 00:19:01,192 It's her imprint. 432 00:19:01,555 --> 00:19:02,658 I'm not so sure. 433 00:19:02,735 --> 00:19:05,867 Plus, not being together during working hours 434 00:19:05,944 --> 00:19:08,653 allows us to be together after hours. 435 00:19:09,306 --> 00:19:11,817 And we're pretty good after hours. 436 00:19:12,532 --> 00:19:14,801 Only one problem. 437 00:19:15,588 --> 00:19:17,227 You have a contract with us. 438 00:19:17,383 --> 00:19:20,035 What can I do to get you release me? 439 00:19:22,500 --> 00:19:24,524 Um... 440 00:19:29,222 --> 00:19:30,526 Spend the night? 441 00:19:30,603 --> 00:19:32,156 If I do, 442 00:19:32,285 --> 00:19:36,007 we both agree I'm working for Plaza. 443 00:19:37,098 --> 00:19:39,531 Consider yourself fired. 444 00:19:46,731 --> 00:19:50,009 Two vodka sodas, please. Thanks so much. 445 00:19:50,121 --> 00:19:52,382 - It's on me. - Oh, thank you. 446 00:19:52,553 --> 00:19:55,423 Say, you look very nice. 447 00:19:55,629 --> 00:19:57,122 Oh. 448 00:19:57,505 --> 00:19:59,477 - Ah. - Um... 449 00:20:01,239 --> 00:20:02,895 Hey, keep your hands off her. 450 00:20:02,972 --> 00:20:07,071 - It's okay, it's okay. - See? Leave us alone, man. 451 00:20:09,777 --> 00:20:11,630 Ah! 452 00:20:11,707 --> 00:20:13,841 What's happening? 453 00:20:13,918 --> 00:20:15,713 All right, let's get out of here. 454 00:20:17,398 --> 00:20:20,252 Whoa-ho. This floor wobbles. 455 00:20:20,329 --> 00:20:22,653 - Uh-huh. - They should fix that. 456 00:20:22,758 --> 00:20:25,166 Hey. Well, here we are. 457 00:20:25,243 --> 00:20:27,504 - Where's your key? - Uh, it's in my coat. 458 00:20:27,930 --> 00:20:29,512 Where's my coat? 459 00:20:32,673 --> 00:20:34,582 ♪ Are they for real? ♪ 460 00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:45,304 Ooh, Liza. 461 00:20:46,887 --> 00:20:50,184 Liza, I need an answer about that job offer right away, 462 00:20:50,261 --> 00:20:52,467 as soon as possible. 463 00:20:52,567 --> 00:20:53,949 Is now soon enough? 464 00:20:54,026 --> 00:20:55,423 Mm-hmm. 465 00:20:55,500 --> 00:20:57,445 Because the answer is yes. 466 00:20:58,246 --> 00:20:59,778 Hey. 467 00:21:00,551 --> 00:21:02,312 Sleep well. 468 00:21:04,395 --> 00:21:06,570 Phew. Smart girl. 469 00:21:14,785 --> 00:21:17,398 Did you forget your...? 470 00:21:17,660 --> 00:21:20,841 Sorry. Wrong room. 471 00:21:20,918 --> 00:21:23,320 Ah, goodnight. 472 00:21:30,781 --> 00:21:32,243 Mm. 473 00:21:35,406 --> 00:21:37,188 No, no, no, no. 474 00:21:37,265 --> 00:21:38,639 Why am I in your room? 475 00:21:38,716 --> 00:21:43,153 You lost your coat and your key, so I brought you here. 476 00:21:43,572 --> 00:21:46,462 Oh, my God. Okay, and what did we do? 477 00:21:46,539 --> 00:21:49,483 We did nothing. You passed out. 478 00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:51,567 And I... how do I put this? 479 00:21:51,754 --> 00:21:53,763 Had to light a lot of matches. 480 00:21:54,243 --> 00:21:56,958 Oh, my God. Okay, but... 481 00:21:57,038 --> 00:21:58,879 You... you just tucked me in, right? 482 00:21:58,956 --> 00:22:01,531 Mm-hmm, yep. "Ucked" with a T, not an F. 483 00:22:01,608 --> 00:22:04,520 I slept on the couch. Well, what a gentleman. 484 00:22:04,597 --> 00:22:06,045 Who would've thought? 485 00:22:06,122 --> 00:22:08,906 I feel like I should buy you breakfast or something. 486 00:22:08,983 --> 00:22:11,289 Not this morning. While you and Liza were busy 487 00:22:11,366 --> 00:22:13,190 patting yourselves on the back yesterday, 488 00:22:13,267 --> 00:22:15,672 Gerhardt Schmidt finally answered my email. 489 00:22:15,749 --> 00:22:18,719 Yep, new agent with an unsigned author 490 00:22:18,796 --> 00:22:20,248 who's just written book one of a series 491 00:22:20,325 --> 00:22:23,738 about the Sicilian Mafia. Could be the next "Godfather." 492 00:22:23,825 --> 00:22:26,094 Wow. Well, you are due for a comeback. 493 00:22:26,171 --> 00:22:28,729 Uh-huh. And once I sign him, 494 00:22:28,806 --> 00:22:31,076 I'll have my pick of breakfast offers. 495 00:22:31,153 --> 00:22:32,718 Pick of everything. 496 00:22:32,795 --> 00:22:35,270 Mm, like you could do better than me. 497 00:22:35,712 --> 00:22:37,383 Well, for one thing, 498 00:22:37,460 --> 00:22:39,848 whoever she is, she won't snore. 499 00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:45,371 Aw. 500 00:22:48,470 --> 00:22:50,368 Gerhardt? Zane Anders. 501 00:22:50,653 --> 00:22:52,950 So glad to finally... 502 00:22:53,526 --> 00:22:55,322 meet you. 503 00:22:56,892 --> 00:22:59,583 Yeah. Sorry about that. 504 00:23:04,098 --> 00:23:06,170 I love Frankfurt. You realize we sold books 505 00:23:06,247 --> 00:23:08,401 in every single territory. 506 00:23:08,478 --> 00:23:10,403 It's gonna be such a good year for us. 507 00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:11,517 Yeah. 508 00:23:11,603 --> 00:23:13,598 You know what? I gotta tell you, 509 00:23:13,820 --> 00:23:17,682 I think Zane, I might've misjudged him. 510 00:23:17,759 --> 00:23:20,052 You weren't there last night, but after you left, 511 00:23:20,129 --> 00:23:21,809 there was this guy... 512 00:23:22,098 --> 00:23:24,145 Hey, what is going on with you? 513 00:23:25,118 --> 00:23:26,693 Do you sometimes hate me a little? 514 00:23:26,770 --> 00:23:30,356 What? Why? Wh... what are you talking about? 515 00:23:31,613 --> 00:23:35,489 I've seen you this weekend, lying to cover up my lie. 516 00:23:35,566 --> 00:23:37,631 And you smile and don't complain, 517 00:23:37,708 --> 00:23:40,411 but, , you gotta hate me a little for it. 518 00:23:40,532 --> 00:23:41,918 It's okay, I... 519 00:23:41,995 --> 00:23:43,438 It's only okay because we've managed 520 00:23:43,515 --> 00:23:45,104 to dodge the bullet so far. 521 00:23:45,181 --> 00:23:46,662 But one day we're not gonna be able to, 522 00:23:46,739 --> 00:23:49,966 and it's all gonna blow up, and Millennial will never recover. 523 00:23:50,861 --> 00:23:52,755 And you'll hate me then. 524 00:23:53,194 --> 00:23:54,594 - No. - Kelsey. 525 00:23:54,671 --> 00:23:56,139 No, it's not... It's not gonna happen. 526 00:23:56,216 --> 00:23:57,619 I got a job offer. 527 00:23:57,696 --> 00:23:59,679 Cheryl Sussman at Plaza Publishing, 528 00:23:59,756 --> 00:24:01,012 and I'm gonna take it. 529 00:24:01,689 --> 00:24:02,843 - No. - Kelsey. 530 00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:04,119 I can never repay you 531 00:24:04,196 --> 00:24:05,329 for what you have done for me, 532 00:24:05,406 --> 00:24:06,678 but that day when you hate me, 533 00:24:06,755 --> 00:24:09,692 I have gotta get out of here before that happens. 534 00:24:09,776 --> 00:24:11,149 While the party's still happening, 535 00:24:11,226 --> 00:24:14,121 and... and we're on a high, and... 536 00:24:14,305 --> 00:24:16,223 It had to happen, Kels. 537 00:24:16,374 --> 00:24:18,919 We've come to the end of this road. 538 00:24:19,098 --> 00:24:22,168 It was a beautiful, beautiful road. 539 00:24:22,258 --> 00:24:25,659 And I had so much fun, and I loved every minute of it. 540 00:24:27,534 --> 00:24:30,573 No. There has to be another way, okay? 541 00:24:30,650 --> 00:24:33,375 We need to just stop and take a second and breathe, 542 00:24:33,452 --> 00:24:35,966 - and think, and... - It's okay. Kelsey, it's okay. 543 00:24:36,254 --> 00:24:38,124 We both know it. 544 00:24:38,685 --> 00:24:40,960 It's time for me to go. 545 00:24:44,113 --> 00:24:46,425 ♪ I love you ♪ 546 00:24:46,616 --> 00:24:51,218 ♪ Hey, sister, I'm gonna be standing with you ♪ 547 00:24:51,300 --> 00:24:53,569 ♪ Yeah, with you ♪ 548 00:24:53,878 --> 00:24:56,741 ♪ Yeah, With you ♪ 39724

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