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♪ Watch it! ♪
2
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♪ Just like the one that got away ♪
3
00:00:38,914 --> 00:00:41,208
♪ So close and yet so far ♪
4
00:00:42,793 --> 00:00:45,212
♪ I threw my hook into the water ♪
5
00:00:45,295 --> 00:00:47,214
♪ I nearly caught her ♪
6
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:49,299
♪ How bizarre ♪
7
00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:52,052
♪ Now I'm up the creek ♪
8
00:00:52,135 --> 00:00:53,971
♪ Though I have lost a little pride ♪
9
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:55,681
♪ I'm up the creek ♪
10
00:00:55,764 --> 00:00:57,474
♪ I know that time is on my side ♪
11
00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:59,434
♪ I'm up the creek ♪
12
00:00:59,518 --> 00:01:01,311
♪ Though you have pulled the plug on me ♪
13
00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:03,188
♪ I'm up the creek ♪
14
00:01:03,272 --> 00:01:05,148
♪ There's more than one fish in the sea ♪
15
00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:06,984
♪ I'm not about to let it be ♪
16
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:09,403
♪ I know that I am up the creek ♪
17
00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:12,281
♪ Hey! Hey! ♪
18
00:01:15,993 --> 00:01:19,663
♪ The foreign legion's always there ♪
19
00:01:20,038 --> 00:01:22,499
♪ I need a holiday ♪
20
00:01:23,834 --> 00:01:26,378
♪ Daydream in the desert ♪
21
00:01:26,461 --> 00:01:28,213
♪ With no pressure ♪
22
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:32,968
♪ That's the way
'cause I'm up the creek ♪
23
00:01:33,051 --> 00:01:34,803
♪ Oh, I've lost a little pride ♪
24
00:01:34,886 --> 00:01:36,722
♪ I'm up the creek ♪
25
00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:38,640
♪ I know that time is on my side ♪
26
00:01:38,724 --> 00:01:40,434
♪ I'm up the creek ♪
27
00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:42,144
♪ Though you have pulled the plug on me ♪
28
00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:44,187
♪ I'm up the creek ♪
29
00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:46,064
♪ There's more than one fish in the sea ♪
30
00:01:46,148 --> 00:01:47,899
♪ I'm not about to let it be ♪
31
00:01:47,983 --> 00:01:50,319
♪ I know that I am up the creek ♪
32
00:01:53,155 --> 00:01:54,948
♪ I'm up the creek ♪
33
00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:56,825
♪ Without a paddle ♪
34
00:01:56,908 --> 00:01:58,660
♪ I'm up the creek ♪
35
00:01:58,744 --> 00:02:01,038
♪ But that don't matter at all ♪
36
00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:05,208
♪ Don't matter at all ♪
37
00:02:07,919 --> 00:02:09,796
♪ I'm up the creek ♪
38
00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:11,631
♪ Without a paddle ♪
39
00:02:11,715 --> 00:02:13,258
♪ I'm up the creek ♪
40
00:02:13,342 --> 00:02:16,511
♪ I'm ready to battle it all ♪
41
00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:20,474
♪ Don't matter at all ♪
42
00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:24,019
♪ Oh! ♪
43
00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:27,064
♪ Hey! Hey! ♪
44
00:02:31,982 --> 00:02:35,673
[CAWING]
45
00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:19,743
- Excuse me, could you...
- [PUNCH]
46
00:03:19,773 --> 00:03:21,243
Ew! Oh!
47
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,499
- Ew! What a big nightstick!
- [PUNCH]
48
00:03:24,537 --> 00:03:26,809
Ah! He-he, oh.
49
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:47,853
Mom? No! Take me!
50
00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:50,647
It wasn't Mr. Moo-moo.
I want Mr. Moo-moo!
51
00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:51,857
No!
52
00:04:00,427 --> 00:04:01,952
Ah!
53
00:04:06,997 --> 00:04:08,623
Okay, okay.
How about lunch?
54
00:04:08,707 --> 00:04:09,791
Gotta get lunch, right?
55
00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:11,334
Max, it's five in the morning!
56
00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:13,542
What about dinner?
You gotta get hungry sometime today...
57
00:04:13,605 --> 00:04:15,309
- [DIAL TONE]
- Hello?
58
00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:19,523
Desperation's not pretty.
59
00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:46,870
Cheese!
60
00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:06,723
Hey!
61
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,653
WOMAN ON TAPE:
See José run.
62
00:05:19,698 --> 00:05:21,999
Corre, José, corre!
63
00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:23,824
Run, José, run!
64
00:05:24,143 --> 00:05:27,333
José no tiene tarjeta verde.
65
00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:30,497
José has no green card.
66
00:05:30,730 --> 00:05:33,288
¿Dónde está José?
67
00:05:43,635 --> 00:05:44,970
It was open!
68
00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:47,180
Get out of bed, McGraw,
we haven't got all day.
69
00:05:47,264 --> 00:05:49,307
The zoo's out then, huh?
70
00:05:49,391 --> 00:05:50,934
I've seen your record, McGraw.
71
00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:52,727
I know what kind of a guy you are,
72
00:05:52,811 --> 00:05:54,693
so don't give me
an excuse to use this.
73
00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:57,232
Your mother's ugly.
You're stupid.
74
00:05:57,315 --> 00:05:58,733
- Your sister makes it with...
- You stinkin'...
75
00:05:58,817 --> 00:06:00,861
Stop it, Leslie.
Get a hold of yourself!
76
00:06:00,944 --> 00:06:02,777
Don't let this jerk get to you.
77
00:06:03,530 --> 00:06:04,865
Come on, I'm sorry.
78
00:06:04,948 --> 00:06:06,866
Let's just forget
I said anything, okay?
79
00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:09,160
Let's be pals.
80
00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:11,746
What do you say, Leslie?
81
00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:12,998
Leslie!
82
00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:14,749
Come on,
let me hit him just once.
83
00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:17,502
Just one little crack on the head,
that's all I'm askin'.
84
00:06:17,586 --> 00:06:20,682
Alright. Just a little one.
But make it fast.
85
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,618
Hey, don't you guys
have a sense of humor?
86
00:06:22,714 --> 00:06:24,934
- [PUNCH]
- [CAWING]
87
00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:32,601
Get rid of the bottle, McGraw.
88
00:06:32,684 --> 00:06:35,312
Oh, Leslie.
For you, anything.
89
00:06:35,926 --> 00:06:38,276
- [SMASH]
- [CROW CRIES]
90
00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:40,166
Come on. Come on!
91
00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:55,916
Hey!
92
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,376
Dean Burch.
93
00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:03,131
You've had quite a colorful
career as a student, Mr. McGraw.
94
00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:06,885
You've managed to be suspended,
expelled, or physically thrown out of
95
00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:09,721
16 colleges and universities
throughout the country.
96
00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:14,142
You've changed your major 23 times.
97
00:07:14,643 --> 00:07:16,978
And your presence has been tied directly
98
00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:20,315
to three university presidents
losing their jobs,
99
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:23,401
two others being
committed to sanitariums,
100
00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:25,904
and at least one known suicide.
101
00:07:27,197 --> 00:07:28,782
Have I left anything out?
102
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:30,914
Just the good stuff.
103
00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:36,623
Mr. McGraw, as you are aware,
104
00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:39,918
this university, our university
105
00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:44,172
has the reputation as the single worst
educational institution in the country.
106
00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:46,049
That's because it is the worst
107
00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:48,565
educational institution
in the country, sir.
108
00:07:48,927 --> 00:07:52,263
Do you realize
that not one single student,
109
00:07:52,347 --> 00:07:55,238
including you, and them,
110
00:07:55,934 --> 00:07:58,913
has ever won any award
for anything?
111
00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:02,190
Not one ribbon, not one trophy.
112
00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:04,651
In fact,
the only certifiable recognition
113
00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:07,237
that any of our alumni
have ever received
114
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,949
is a parole.
115
00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:16,246
Mr. McGraw,
every year for the past 15 years
116
00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:18,373
the colleges and
universities of this country
117
00:08:18,456 --> 00:08:21,709
have held an
intercollegiate raft race.
118
00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:26,423
If just once we...
119
00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:28,842
I mean you
120
00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:31,761
could win this race for our school,
121
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,680
it would mean an end
122
00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:36,270
to jokes like "Lobotomy U."
123
00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:45,195
it would mean that
for the first time in our history...
124
00:08:45,316 --> 00:08:49,694
Let me clarify my position,
so that you can understand.
125
00:08:49,988 --> 00:08:52,490
A raft means a river,
126
00:08:52,574 --> 00:08:55,493
and a river means rapids,
127
00:08:55,577 --> 00:08:58,553
and rapids spells death.
128
00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:00,376
You got the wrong guy!
129
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,632
Not so fast, McGraw!
130
00:09:03,126 --> 00:09:04,335
Okay.
131
00:09:04,419 --> 00:09:08,140
You've got the wrong guy.
132
00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:10,216
Excuse me, Dean Burch.
133
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:13,261
Um, I think there's another point
that should be made.
134
00:09:13,344 --> 00:09:14,971
I don't need this aggravation,
135
00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:17,098
and this really
doesn't sound like a lot of fun.
136
00:09:17,182 --> 00:09:18,850
I'm damned if I'll let my university
137
00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:21,352
be the laughing stock
of this country any longer!
138
00:09:21,436 --> 00:09:24,569
I want a victory with a capital "V"
and I want it now!
139
00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:27,234
No more excuses!
No more holding back!
140
00:09:27,484 --> 00:09:30,242
That's why I picked you.
And them!
141
00:09:30,779 --> 00:09:32,113
You have the distinct honor of being
142
00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:34,945
the four worst students
in the entire country.
143
00:09:35,366 --> 00:09:37,577
You are not
at the bottom of the list,
144
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:39,967
you are the bottom of the list!
145
00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:43,583
That's why you're going to
win this race for me and Lepetomane.
146
00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:46,634
You're the only men
who virtually have nothing left to lose!
147
00:09:47,045 --> 00:09:48,777
Except my temper.
148
00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:50,799
Mr. McGraw,
149
00:09:51,466 --> 00:09:53,641
I'm not asking you
to do this for nothing.
150
00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:57,514
In fact, I'm prepared to
make a very generous offer.
151
00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:00,100
Degrees.
152
00:10:00,975 --> 00:10:02,519
For all of you.
153
00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:05,063
Degrees?
154
00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:07,273
In whatever subject you like.
155
00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:09,150
English lit?
156
00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:10,860
If that's what you want.
157
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:13,363
Providing, of course, that you win.
158
00:10:13,696 --> 00:10:14,781
Physics?
159
00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:17,666
Biochemistry.
With a minor in art history.
160
00:10:17,909 --> 00:10:19,391
Home Ec?
161
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:27,544
And what if I say no?
162
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:31,381
I was hoping
we could avoid this scene,
163
00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:34,514
but since you feel
the need to test me...
164
00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:36,928
I suppose you know nothing
about the student loans
165
00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:40,356
you've taken out
in 35 different names.
166
00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:44,332
Or last semester's bookmaking
operation in the computer center.
167
00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:47,730
You think you can blackmail me
168
00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:50,984
into playing this
little game of yours, don't you?
169
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:53,529
Well, I got news for you, Mister.
170
00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:56,989
This ain't just any dumb schmo
you're dealing with here,
171
00:10:57,198 --> 00:11:01,579
this is Bob McGraw.
The Bob McGraw.
172
00:11:01,911 --> 00:11:05,008
And it's gonna take men
a lot bigger than you
173
00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:08,055
to make this guy play ball.
174
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,723
How about Poli-Sci?
175
00:11:25,643 --> 00:11:26,686
I don't believe it!
176
00:11:26,811 --> 00:11:28,938
Bob, listen to this.
She dumped me!
177
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:30,565
Aw, come on, Max.
178
00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:33,151
Bob, she said she never
wants to see me again.
179
00:11:33,776 --> 00:11:35,778
Let me tell you something about women.
180
00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:38,531
They always say
the opposite of what they mean.
181
00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:40,366
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
182
00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:42,619
"If you come within
a three block radius of my house,
183
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:44,996
"I will have my new boyfriend Vito
184
00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:47,790
"rip off your head
and spit in your neck."
185
00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:50,627
You're right, kid.
You've been dumped.
186
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,712
Forget about her.
Have a drink, huh?
187
00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:55,381
The bar is now open.
Cocktails, anyone?
188
00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:58,218
- Banana daiquiri.
- Martini, straight up.
189
00:11:58,301 --> 00:12:01,012
Okay. Here you go,
extra dry, just the way you like it.
190
00:12:01,095 --> 00:12:02,430
Thank you.
191
00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:04,974
How about you, big guy?
192
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:06,430
I'm all set.
193
00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:11,773
Gonzer, do you realize
what you're doing to your body?
194
00:12:12,106 --> 00:12:13,608
That stuff's gonna kill you!
195
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:16,027
Maybe not today
and maybe not tomorrow,
196
00:12:16,110 --> 00:12:18,154
but soon,
and for the rest of your life.
197
00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:19,656
Gonz, your body is your temple.
198
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:22,033
If you don't worship it,
who will?
199
00:12:22,116 --> 00:12:24,992
And, Gonz, your temple
is starting to resemble the astrodome.
200
00:12:26,829 --> 00:12:29,636
Hey, Max is right.
Get rid of that shit.
201
00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:31,876
Come on, Gonzer,
show food who's boss.
202
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:33,819
- Throw it out the window.
- M-mm
203
00:12:33,860 --> 00:12:36,359
Gonzer! Gonzer!
204
00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:40,097
Gonzer! Gonzer! Gonzer!
205
00:12:40,125 --> 00:12:42,220
Gonzer! Gonzer!
206
00:12:42,508 --> 00:12:43,770
Ah!
207
00:12:43,891 --> 00:12:45,975
Ahhhh-ooooo!
208
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,063
[CRASH]
209
00:12:47,094 --> 00:12:48,559
- That's the way to go!
- Alright, Gonz!
210
00:12:48,643 --> 00:12:50,311
What would you like to drink?
211
00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:53,473
- Let me have a Brandy Alexander.
- Brandy Alexander.
212
00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:55,525
There you go.
Especially for you.
213
00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:57,777
Gonz, you look thinner already.
214
00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:00,863
Excuse me. Excuse me.
215
00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:07,328
Uh, look, Bob,
I know we're not exactly the best.
216
00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:10,206
As a matter of fact,
we're not even very good.
217
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:12,166
But, uh, do you think
we have a chance?
218
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,669
Everybody's got a chance, kid.
219
00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:16,587
This is America.
220
00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,715
Let's take you, for example.
221
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:20,967
Skinny, uncoordinated,
222
00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:23,594
got a yellow streak
down your back a mile wide,
223
00:13:23,678 --> 00:13:26,931
you're anemic,
you dress like a creep,
224
00:13:27,015 --> 00:13:30,242
you've got the personality
of a mayo and baloney on white.
225
00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:34,063
You're the kind of guy most people
wouldn't give the time of day to.
226
00:13:34,772 --> 00:13:35,982
What does that mean?
227
00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:37,199
I don't know.
228
00:13:37,592 --> 00:13:38,834
- That doesn't mean...
- Bob!
229
00:13:38,881 --> 00:13:40,146
- ...you don't have a chance.
- [HONKING]
230
00:13:40,199 --> 00:13:41,415
Look at me!
231
00:13:44,198 --> 00:13:47,081
Gee, I never thought of it like that.
232
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:48,911
Hey, don't mention it, kid.
233
00:13:49,376 --> 00:13:52,381
- [WHINING]
- [FART SOUNDS]
234
00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:57,013
Oh, geez!
235
00:13:57,253 --> 00:13:58,554
Gonzer!
236
00:13:58,736 --> 00:14:00,110
[CHUCKLING]
237
00:14:00,757 --> 00:14:02,133
Oh, man!
238
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:04,304
Gonzer!
239
00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:06,931
You ought to be
ashamed of yourself.
240
00:14:07,555 --> 00:14:09,194
It wasn't me, man.
241
00:14:09,891 --> 00:14:11,267
Who was it?
242
00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:13,311
- It wasn't!
- Who was it?
243
00:14:13,770 --> 00:14:15,188
It was Chuck!
244
00:14:15,450 --> 00:14:17,145
- [BARKS]
- Unh!
245
00:14:17,177 --> 00:14:18,777
- Alright!
- [LAUGHING]
246
00:14:18,989 --> 00:14:20,208
You guys.
247
00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:26,922
- [ROCK MUSIC]
- [WOMEN LAUGHING AND SCREAMING]
248
00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:31,871
Ivy U! Ivy U!
249
00:14:44,592 --> 00:14:45,885
Roland Tozer.
250
00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:47,595
- Rex Crandall.
- Rex.
251
00:14:47,929 --> 00:14:49,679
- Roger Van Dyke.
- Roger.
252
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:53,267
Men, I have a lot of race preparation
to do before tomorrow morning.
253
00:14:53,351 --> 00:14:57,063
What do you say we just cut the bullshit
and get down to business?
254
00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:00,900
Standard race equipment.
255
00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:04,701
Regulation handle,
stock and blade.
256
00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:07,031
With the exception of
a little added feature.
257
00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:10,743
Which is quite effective
when it comes to
258
00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:14,084
slashing the tubes of rafts
without dropping a stroke.
259
00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:16,332
- Impressive.
- Adequate.
260
00:15:16,791 --> 00:15:18,761
You haven't seen anything yet.
261
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:21,003
The Ivy U race kit.
262
00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:23,005
Baby!
263
00:15:23,965 --> 00:15:26,425
These ought to take care
of any front runners.
264
00:15:26,509 --> 00:15:27,844
Explosives!
265
00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:29,971
Is this it?
266
00:15:30,054 --> 00:15:33,141
Not to worry.
There's plenty more back at my house.
267
00:15:34,142 --> 00:15:35,893
What you cannot destroy or disable,
268
00:15:35,977 --> 00:15:38,781
I will have my referees disqualify.
269
00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:41,155
Good. Very good.
270
00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:45,492
Here it is. $5,000 in hundreds,
just like you requested.
271
00:15:45,736 --> 00:15:47,321
Well, thanks.
272
00:15:47,405 --> 00:15:49,407
Would you like the trophy now,
273
00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:52,328
or do you want to wait until
you actually cross the finish line?
274
00:15:52,410 --> 00:15:54,456
What,
and disappoint the crowd?
275
00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:57,707
I can't wait to be
standing on my deck
276
00:15:57,790 --> 00:16:00,877
watching you come
around that bend. Thanks.
277
00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:03,212
Aren't you gonna count it?
278
00:16:04,422 --> 00:16:08,221
What, distrust of an alumnus?
Class of '63.
279
00:16:10,428 --> 00:16:12,470
I'll see you in the winner's circle.
280
00:16:12,597 --> 00:16:14,098
Thank you, sir.
281
00:16:35,077 --> 00:16:40,249
I need a shave. Bath.
Cup of coffee and a good woman.
282
00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:43,920
Something told me
we've come to the wrong place.
283
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:45,461
Fill it up, Gonz.
284
00:16:49,884 --> 00:16:51,469
You got any money?
285
00:16:57,892 --> 00:16:59,435
What the hell's this?
286
00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:06,108
Will you check the oil?
287
00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:08,569
Yes, sir.
Just as soon as I'm done here.
288
00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:10,738
What the heck,
I'll do that for you.
289
00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:13,074
No use you standing there
holding your hose.
290
00:17:14,784 --> 00:17:16,410
Yeah. Yeah. Thanks a lot.
291
00:17:16,494 --> 00:17:19,121
Sure. That's it there.
292
00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:22,416
- Hiya.
- Hi, how are ya?
293
00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:23,626
Not bad. Yourself?
294
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:25,044
- Okay.
- Good.
295
00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:27,505
Lots of grit.
296
00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:29,924
Yeah, they get
that way, I guess.
297
00:17:34,679 --> 00:17:36,013
Looks good.
298
00:17:36,097 --> 00:17:37,723
Looks great to me.
299
00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:44,230
Wait. Wait.
Maybe you better check the battery.
300
00:17:44,313 --> 00:17:45,856
It's in here somewhere.
I'm not sure where it is.
301
00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:47,108
It's over here.
302
00:17:47,191 --> 00:17:49,986
- Oh, that's a big one.
- Yeah, they gotta be.
303
00:17:50,361 --> 00:17:51,404
Get up!
304
00:17:51,487 --> 00:17:53,364
You give me a hard on!
305
00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:54,490
Get up!
306
00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:56,867
Party!
307
00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:59,620
Ivy U! Ivy U!
308
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:27,023
Listen to this part, you guys.
309
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:30,192
"His strong hands
ran over her hardened nipples.
310
00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:32,737
"The tender touch
of his glistening body
311
00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:35,865
"sent shock waves
running through her naked breasts."
312
00:18:36,032 --> 00:18:39,071
Yeah, I believe I've read
this book before, Molly.
313
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,536
You know, I think I read it, too.
314
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:41,996
I think it's in the next chapter
315
00:18:42,079 --> 00:18:45,181
where they start talking about
his "throbbing spaceship of love."
316
00:18:45,249 --> 00:18:47,960
Is that what Rexy-poo calls it?
317
00:18:48,669 --> 00:18:50,421
Never mind, Corky.
318
00:18:52,506 --> 00:18:55,760
Look! It's Rexy and the Ivy boys.
319
00:18:55,843 --> 00:18:57,511
If it isn't the spaceship of love.
320
00:18:57,595 --> 00:18:59,889
And it's throbbing away, I'm sure.
321
00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:02,475
Can you believe it?
We actually caught up with these guys!
322
00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:04,060
At 110 miles per hour,
323
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:05,645
I'm surprised
we didn't run them over.
324
00:19:05,728 --> 00:19:06,771
Really!
325
00:19:21,911 --> 00:19:24,893
Looks like Rex has other things
on his mind besides me.
326
00:19:24,955 --> 00:19:26,082
Oh!
327
00:19:26,791 --> 00:19:28,417
Fill it up, okay?
328
00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:40,846
Okay. Is there anything else?
329
00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:43,516
Gaskets? New upholstery?
Retreads? Paint job?
330
00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:45,559
No, I think that's about it.
331
00:19:45,643 --> 00:19:47,144
I think everything's okey-dokey.
332
00:19:47,228 --> 00:19:48,312
- Okey-dokey?
- Yeah.
333
00:19:54,944 --> 00:19:56,362
Wait!
334
00:20:04,495 --> 00:20:05,663
Is that it?
335
00:20:05,746 --> 00:20:07,748
Well, the air cleaner.
336
00:20:08,082 --> 00:20:10,626
We've been having trouble
with the suction.
337
00:20:13,504 --> 00:20:16,257
Rex, I know you're in there!
Now open this door now!
338
00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:19,176
Ladies!
339
00:20:19,260 --> 00:20:20,803
May I be of some assistance here?
340
00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:22,096
Not unless you can open that door.
341
00:20:22,179 --> 00:20:23,556
No problem. Hair pin?
342
00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:27,017
- Heather!
- Listen, if you guys aren't busy later...
343
00:20:30,354 --> 00:20:31,772
You can't see a thing.
344
00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:34,567
Come on, Rex has got
business to take care of.
345
00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:42,408
Heather! Hi.
346
00:20:43,534 --> 00:20:46,370
Peaches!
What are you doing here?
347
00:20:47,705 --> 00:20:50,124
That's it. That does it.
It's over!
348
00:20:51,208 --> 00:20:52,543
Maybe dinner?
Some dancing?
349
00:20:52,626 --> 00:20:53,878
You're an asshole!
350
00:20:53,961 --> 00:20:55,129
Asshole already?
351
00:20:55,212 --> 00:20:56,859
Heather, wait a minute!
352
00:20:57,214 --> 00:20:59,008
Chuck, next time don't drink
out of the toilet bowl
353
00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:00,331
till I check it first, okay?
354
00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:03,015
- Heather...
- Not now.
355
00:21:04,013 --> 00:21:05,222
Heather!
356
00:21:05,389 --> 00:21:06,682
I have nothing to say to you.
357
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:08,309
I'm sure if you just
took the time to get to know me
358
00:21:08,392 --> 00:21:10,278
- we could work something out.
- Heather.
359
00:21:10,352 --> 00:21:12,563
I don't even want to see you again, ever.
Do you understand that?
360
00:21:12,646 --> 00:21:13,981
You are nothing
but a cheap, lying bastard.
361
00:21:14,064 --> 00:21:16,200
- I've had enough!
- Calm down!
362
00:21:16,984 --> 00:21:18,736
Who are you?
Get out of my way.
363
00:21:18,819 --> 00:21:19,945
No, no, no. She's right.
364
00:21:20,029 --> 00:21:22,698
You are a cheap, lying bastard
and we've had enough.
365
00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:24,290
You stinkin'...
366
00:21:25,313 --> 00:21:27,438
ALL:
Whoa!
367
00:21:27,493 --> 00:21:29,453
I'm so sorry, Heather! I'm...
368
00:21:30,206 --> 00:21:31,540
Take your hands off her!
369
00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:32,875
Take your hands off of me!
370
00:21:32,958 --> 00:21:34,835
Take your hands off of her!
371
00:21:36,212 --> 00:21:38,464
If ever I can be
of further assistance,
372
00:21:38,547 --> 00:21:40,174
feel free to call on me.
373
00:21:40,257 --> 00:21:42,468
Anytime, anywhere.
374
00:21:45,554 --> 00:21:47,014
Thank you.
375
00:21:52,770 --> 00:21:54,489
You son of a bitch.
376
00:21:58,567 --> 00:21:59,985
Sorry.
377
00:22:00,069 --> 00:22:02,961
You get in my way again,
and you're gonna be sorry you were born.
378
00:22:03,155 --> 00:22:05,908
He knew then and there that the
friendship they had since youth
379
00:22:05,991 --> 00:22:08,118
had died a sudden
and tragic death,
380
00:22:08,202 --> 00:22:10,120
destroyed by
the love of a woman.
381
00:22:14,959 --> 00:22:17,211
Heather! Cupcake, listen to me!
382
00:22:17,294 --> 00:22:18,898
Forget it, Rex! You're history!
383
00:22:20,572 --> 00:22:21,843
Shit.
384
00:22:26,387 --> 00:22:28,180
$213.37?
385
00:22:30,224 --> 00:22:32,059
Keep the change, pal.
386
00:22:45,155 --> 00:22:47,575
I don't think I need
to remind you gentlemen
387
00:22:47,658 --> 00:22:49,905
about the importance of this race.
388
00:22:50,327 --> 00:22:52,746
I don't think I have to
bore you with the fact
389
00:22:52,830 --> 00:22:54,915
that the Washington Military Institute
390
00:22:54,999 --> 00:22:58,627
has won this race
for the past three years!
391
00:22:59,003 --> 00:23:01,046
I don't think I need
to stress the fact
392
00:23:01,130 --> 00:23:04,091
that we will win this race
at any cost,
393
00:23:04,174 --> 00:23:07,261
because a corpsman,
in his heart, in his gut,
394
00:23:07,344 --> 00:23:09,562
knows no such thing as defeat!
395
00:23:10,681 --> 00:23:13,434
Victory is the only thing he'll eat.
396
00:23:13,934 --> 00:23:15,782
And he'll eat it raw!
397
00:23:16,186 --> 00:23:17,938
Will We Win?
398
00:23:18,022 --> 00:23:19,575
ALL:
Yes, sir!
399
00:23:19,607 --> 00:23:21,108
Then move out!
400
00:23:21,191 --> 00:23:23,493
Detail, hut!
401
00:23:24,136 --> 00:23:25,574
Men out!
402
00:23:29,325 --> 00:23:31,285
Alright, roll!
403
00:23:33,120 --> 00:23:34,705
You see that?
404
00:23:46,175 --> 00:23:48,177
A town like any other town.
405
00:23:48,260 --> 00:23:50,512
A town with nothing to hide.
406
00:23:50,596 --> 00:23:53,098
Until they arrived.
407
00:23:53,182 --> 00:23:54,516
Okay!
408
00:23:58,938 --> 00:24:00,481
Come on, Chuck.
409
00:24:02,024 --> 00:24:03,275
Here we are.
410
00:24:04,526 --> 00:24:05,736
Ladies.
411
00:24:09,838 --> 00:24:10,986
Oh!
412
00:24:11,033 --> 00:24:15,035
Gonzer! Down, boy!
Down, boy. Here you go. Good boy.
413
00:24:19,605 --> 00:24:21,418
Oh, nice finger.
414
00:24:21,502 --> 00:24:23,232
I was just checking out
the competition.
415
00:24:23,253 --> 00:24:24,546
Come on, Chuck!
416
00:24:26,757 --> 00:24:29,385
♪ We're the men from WMI ♪
417
00:24:29,468 --> 00:24:31,303
Shalom aleichem.
418
00:24:32,179 --> 00:24:34,682
Yeah, a few more guys...
419
00:24:35,126 --> 00:24:36,447
[GRUNTS]
420
00:24:37,643 --> 00:24:38,686
Excuse me.
421
00:24:38,769 --> 00:24:40,813
Is that spacelab
up there?
422
00:24:40,896 --> 00:24:42,940
- No, I guess not.
- No.
423
00:24:43,185 --> 00:24:44,234
Alright.
424
00:24:51,949 --> 00:24:54,952
The competition looks
a little weirder than I expected.
425
00:24:55,293 --> 00:24:58,092
[WOLF HOWLING]
426
00:25:01,125 --> 00:25:03,844
What's the matter, Chuck?
You're not thirsty?
427
00:25:05,953 --> 00:25:07,770
[HOWLING]
428
00:25:08,424 --> 00:25:11,557
Oh, it's the call, isn't it, Chuck?
429
00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:14,138
It's reaching out to you.
430
00:25:14,221 --> 00:25:15,901
It's pulling you from the gut.
431
00:25:15,973 --> 00:25:17,484
Isn't that right, boy?
432
00:25:17,558 --> 00:25:20,728
You meet me tomorrow morning,
10:00, at the portage.
433
00:25:20,811 --> 00:25:22,271
Don't be late.
434
00:25:22,354 --> 00:25:25,480
Come here, come here.
Come here, slugger.
435
00:25:28,819 --> 00:25:31,655
Don't stay up all night,
and don't drink too much.
436
00:25:31,739 --> 00:25:35,534
Remember that night on the west side
with that bitch, binga, binga?
437
00:25:35,617 --> 00:25:37,123
Go on, get outta here.
438
00:25:39,872 --> 00:25:41,365
Horny bastard.
439
00:25:42,963 --> 00:25:46,137
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
440
00:25:48,964 --> 00:25:50,299
Thank you.
441
00:25:53,510 --> 00:25:54,803
Nice jugs.
442
00:26:01,143 --> 00:26:03,031
Ringside seats.
443
00:26:04,855 --> 00:26:06,982
Lively crowd, huh?
444
00:26:08,066 --> 00:26:09,693
Hey, did you order me
that old fashioned?
445
00:26:09,777 --> 00:26:12,071
Oh, yeah, just the way
you like it, extra bitters.
446
00:26:12,154 --> 00:26:15,157
I knew I could count on you.
Here's to mediocrity.
447
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:17,117
Mediocrity, yeah!
448
00:26:24,041 --> 00:26:25,334
Nice right cross.
449
00:26:27,753 --> 00:26:30,172
Now, there's a girl
who knows how to party.
450
00:26:35,135 --> 00:26:36,595
Gonz,
who ordered this?
451
00:26:36,678 --> 00:26:38,138
I'll take it.
452
00:26:41,683 --> 00:26:44,061
There's the woman-hitter
and his colleagues.
453
00:26:44,144 --> 00:26:45,576
Nice hair.
454
00:26:49,691 --> 00:26:51,578
I don't think he likes you.
455
00:26:53,433 --> 00:26:54,712
Wow!
456
00:26:54,947 --> 00:26:57,832
Would you look at
all that beefcake.
457
00:26:58,116 --> 00:27:00,911
The odds are definitely in our favor.
458
00:27:00,994 --> 00:27:02,875
Take no prisoners.
459
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:08,585
- Here you go, ladies.
- Thanks.
460
00:27:08,669 --> 00:27:09,962
Our pleasure.
461
00:27:10,337 --> 00:27:12,714
So you girls here
for the big race tomorrow?
462
00:27:12,798 --> 00:27:16,226
No, actually,
we're here to get laid.
463
00:27:16,282 --> 00:27:18,702
- [LAUGHING]
- Well, let's go talk about this.
464
00:27:20,142 --> 00:27:21,142
Oh!
465
00:27:21,181 --> 00:27:22,516
Look at that one there!
466
00:27:22,599 --> 00:27:24,559
Gonzer, that's a guy.
467
00:27:29,648 --> 00:27:31,066
Hey, can I buy you a drink, Irwin?
468
00:27:31,150 --> 00:27:32,651
No, no, I'm fine.
469
00:27:32,734 --> 00:27:34,111
Pink dress.
470
00:27:34,570 --> 00:27:35,988
Max, no!
471
00:27:36,071 --> 00:27:37,281
Come on.
472
00:27:40,576 --> 00:27:42,259
Is it showing?
473
00:27:55,799 --> 00:27:57,662
- Way to go, Gonz!
- Good job, buddy!
474
00:27:58,886 --> 00:28:02,816
Gentlemen!
Soldiers, the map! Once again.
475
00:28:03,015 --> 00:28:04,141
Johnson!
476
00:28:04,224 --> 00:28:06,226
We enter left,
we paddle right behind the big rock.
477
00:28:06,310 --> 00:28:08,353
Then left again
past the dead tree, sir!
478
00:28:08,437 --> 00:28:09,563
Brown!
479
00:28:09,646 --> 00:28:11,690
Hard forward
till we reach the turn of the rapids,
480
00:28:11,773 --> 00:28:13,241
then hug the shore, sir.
481
00:28:13,317 --> 00:28:14,651
Lieutenant Whitney!
482
00:28:14,735 --> 00:28:16,403
Baron's rapids,
head for the hole,
483
00:28:16,486 --> 00:28:19,547
do a 360 degree turn
and paddle hard right, sir!
484
00:28:19,615 --> 00:28:21,326
Good. Good.
485
00:28:21,909 --> 00:28:24,171
Now it's time for night-night.
486
00:28:25,495 --> 00:28:30,750
Alright, guys, there's work to be done.
It's sabotage time.
487
00:28:30,784 --> 00:28:34,151
[ALL CRYING OUT]
488
00:28:34,205 --> 00:28:35,908
Ah!
489
00:28:41,136 --> 00:28:43,472
- What do you want?
- Stoli with a twist.
490
00:28:46,850 --> 00:28:48,185
Thank you.
491
00:29:07,704 --> 00:29:08,914
Hey, want a little popcorn?
492
00:29:08,997 --> 00:29:10,999
Oh! Excuse me.
Gosh, I spilled that.
493
00:29:11,416 --> 00:29:13,168
I'll get it. That's...
494
00:29:17,673 --> 00:29:19,132
Hey, watch it.
495
00:29:19,758 --> 00:29:20,968
Watch what?
496
00:29:21,051 --> 00:29:23,887
Watch what a fool
I can make out of myself.
497
00:29:24,137 --> 00:29:26,231
Is that worth watching?
498
00:29:26,431 --> 00:29:27,766
I'm very good at it,
499
00:29:27,849 --> 00:29:31,353
especially when I'm in the company
of such an attractive woman.
500
00:29:31,436 --> 00:29:33,568
Haven't we met
somewhere before?
501
00:29:35,357 --> 00:29:36,900
I suppose
502
00:29:36,984 --> 00:29:39,784
next you're gonna ask me
if you can buy me a drink.
503
00:29:39,945 --> 00:29:42,155
"Aha" he says to himself,
504
00:29:42,239 --> 00:29:46,090
"here is a woman who knows
a come-on when she hears one.
505
00:29:46,576 --> 00:29:48,662
"He thinks he's got her
where he wants her,
506
00:29:48,745 --> 00:29:50,665
"but he has to make sure."
507
00:29:50,998 --> 00:29:52,416
Can I buy you a drink?
508
00:29:53,250 --> 00:29:55,877
She refuses with a shake
of her beautiful head.
509
00:29:55,961 --> 00:29:57,254
That's perfect!
510
00:29:57,337 --> 00:30:01,300
She's passed the second test,
but she's not an easy mark.
511
00:30:02,175 --> 00:30:04,381
Still, he must try the last line.
512
00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:05,846
What...
513
00:30:05,929 --> 00:30:07,280
What's your major?
514
00:30:08,265 --> 00:30:09,558
Gin and tonic.
515
00:30:09,641 --> 00:30:10,892
Gin and tonic for the lady!
516
00:30:14,271 --> 00:30:16,523
Make it two, will you?
Thank you, my man.
517
00:30:16,606 --> 00:30:18,400
You wanna fool around?
You wanna get married?
518
00:30:18,483 --> 00:30:19,651
Want fellatio or what?
519
00:30:19,735 --> 00:30:22,404
If I'm being too forward,
just tell me to back off.
520
00:30:22,487 --> 00:30:24,281
How about a name first?
521
00:30:24,364 --> 00:30:27,117
An old-fashioned girl,
I like that.
522
00:30:27,659 --> 00:30:28,910
McGraw.
523
00:30:30,454 --> 00:30:31,872
Bob McGraw.
524
00:30:33,623 --> 00:30:35,167
Rex, where you goin'?
525
00:30:35,250 --> 00:30:36,501
Hey, man!
526
00:30:37,586 --> 00:30:38,962
I'm Heather.
527
00:30:39,796 --> 00:30:41,590
Heather Merriweather.
528
00:30:54,353 --> 00:30:56,835
If I'm being too forward,
just tell me.
529
00:30:57,272 --> 00:30:59,732
No, no, no. Not at all.
530
00:31:01,318 --> 00:31:02,908
You know,
it's a little crowded in here.
531
00:31:02,931 --> 00:31:04,493
- Don't you think?
- M-hm.
532
00:31:04,654 --> 00:31:05,864
Smoky.
533
00:31:06,406 --> 00:31:07,574
Noisy.
534
00:31:08,158 --> 00:31:09,701
Crowded.
535
00:31:10,243 --> 00:31:12,621
What do you say we go for a walk?
536
00:31:12,704 --> 00:31:14,164
To my room.
537
00:31:14,247 --> 00:31:15,829
What do you say we run?
538
00:31:17,042 --> 00:31:19,169
What do you say
give me 10 minutes?
539
00:31:19,252 --> 00:31:21,129
I'm in room 27.
540
00:31:21,630 --> 00:31:23,433
Do you think
you can remember that?
541
00:31:23,799 --> 00:31:26,261
I'll carve it in the back of my hand.
542
00:31:30,022 --> 00:31:31,361
Whew.
543
00:31:37,729 --> 00:31:40,532
I guess this means no bedtime story.
544
00:31:40,982 --> 00:31:43,235
If I'm not back in two hours,
545
00:31:43,318 --> 00:31:44,863
borrow a book.
546
00:31:45,112 --> 00:31:46,362
A book?
547
00:32:04,270 --> 00:32:07,444
[TICKING]
548
00:32:11,805 --> 00:32:14,642
You beautiful bomb.
549
00:32:32,951 --> 00:32:34,286
It was a night.
550
00:32:34,369 --> 00:32:36,455
A real, wide open night
551
00:32:36,538 --> 00:32:39,676
filled with the stars
of a thousand dreams.
552
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:43,461
It was the kind of night
that could only be found
553
00:32:43,545 --> 00:32:46,352
in a place called the West.
554
00:32:47,257 --> 00:32:49,815
Or maybe in a cheap spy novel.
555
00:32:50,260 --> 00:32:53,805
The kind with gorgeous,
smooth-skinned women
556
00:32:53,889 --> 00:32:57,852
with accents and .45 caliber lips.
557
00:33:05,284 --> 00:33:06,405
Ouch!
558
00:33:08,486 --> 00:33:11,087
My, how time flies.
You dropped this!
559
00:33:12,542 --> 00:33:14,870
Ah!
560
00:33:20,290 --> 00:33:21,625
Are you alright?
561
00:33:24,169 --> 00:33:25,587
I'm gonna...
562
00:33:26,129 --> 00:33:27,714
I'm gonna get...
563
00:33:27,797 --> 00:33:29,424
I'm gonna get...
564
00:33:30,132 --> 00:33:32,434
Ew!
565
00:33:33,303 --> 00:33:35,937
Who's "ew"?
566
00:33:52,572 --> 00:33:54,241
Who is it?
567
00:33:58,684 --> 00:34:00,627
- Hi.
- Hi.
568
00:34:01,665 --> 00:34:03,834
Why don't you come on in
and shut the door?
569
00:34:08,463 --> 00:34:09,881
Why don't you lock it?
570
00:34:12,602 --> 00:34:13,915
[CLICK]
571
00:34:14,886 --> 00:34:17,886
- Why don't you...
- I think I can take it from here.
572
00:34:25,188 --> 00:34:26,648
Well...
573
00:34:26,898 --> 00:34:28,733
Here we are.
574
00:34:29,776 --> 00:34:31,278
All by ourselves.
575
00:34:31,361 --> 00:34:32,862
With the door locked.
576
00:34:32,988 --> 00:34:35,488
And me lying on the bed
in a robe.
577
00:34:37,284 --> 00:34:40,705
I like a woman
who's not afraid to play hard to get.
578
00:34:41,538 --> 00:34:44,459
I like a man
who's not afraid to play hard.
579
00:34:48,295 --> 00:34:50,589
You know something,
Bob McGraw?
580
00:34:52,215 --> 00:34:53,967
You look a little warm.
581
00:34:54,384 --> 00:34:57,439
Why don't you slip into
something more comfortable?
582
00:34:58,388 --> 00:35:01,365
I didn't bring anything
"more comfortable."
583
00:35:02,809 --> 00:35:04,519
Well, how about me?
584
00:35:07,439 --> 00:35:09,660
You talked me into it.
585
00:35:18,450 --> 00:35:19,784
For crying out loud.
586
00:35:19,868 --> 00:35:23,172
This is a race, not a battlefield.
587
00:35:23,413 --> 00:35:27,005
With blatant disregard
for rules and regulations,
588
00:35:27,292 --> 00:35:29,794
frivolous misuse of
equipment and personnel...
589
00:35:29,878 --> 00:35:32,589
Where did you learn
to be a soldier, soldier?
590
00:35:32,672 --> 00:35:34,140
The institute, sir.
591
00:35:34,215 --> 00:35:35,425
Well, I hope, for your sake,
592
00:35:35,508 --> 00:35:37,427
the institute is a lenient one.
593
00:35:39,429 --> 00:35:41,723
Under the circumstances,
I have no choice
594
00:35:41,806 --> 00:35:44,787
but to impound your raft
and disqualify you.
595
00:36:00,325 --> 00:36:02,289
- Tell me something.
- What?
596
00:36:03,328 --> 00:36:06,331
Was that as good for you
as it was for me?
597
00:36:06,414 --> 00:36:09,042
No. It was...
598
00:36:10,095 --> 00:36:11,633
- [KNOCKING]
- Heather?
599
00:36:11,670 --> 00:36:13,421
It's Rex!
Are you in there?
600
00:36:13,505 --> 00:36:15,715
- Company. How nice.
- Heather!
601
00:36:15,799 --> 00:36:18,551
Rex, go away!
I have nothing to say to you.
602
00:36:18,635 --> 00:36:21,179
You can just stay right here
and just ignore him, okay?
603
00:36:21,262 --> 00:36:23,057
I hate to eat and run, but...
604
00:36:25,183 --> 00:36:28,121
Bob, am I ever
gonna see you again?
605
00:36:28,436 --> 00:36:30,736
We are going to
see each other again.
606
00:36:30,939 --> 00:36:32,524
You wouldn't lie to me?
607
00:36:32,941 --> 00:36:34,943
Of course I'd lie to you,
I'm a guy.
608
00:36:35,026 --> 00:36:36,903
But I'm not lying now.
609
00:36:38,238 --> 00:36:39,406
You mean it?
610
00:36:39,489 --> 00:36:40,656
Honest.
611
00:36:45,078 --> 00:36:46,871
Hey, guys,
612
00:36:46,955 --> 00:36:49,040
it's a little early for the Easter parade,
don't you think?
613
00:36:49,124 --> 00:36:51,336
Look! It's Halley's comet!
614
00:36:52,377 --> 00:36:54,754
Bright, real bright. Bye!
615
00:37:07,567 --> 00:37:09,155
Ah!
616
00:37:15,275 --> 00:37:16,989
Hello, asshole.
617
00:37:17,235 --> 00:37:18,611
Oops.
618
00:37:18,695 --> 00:37:21,504
Things looked bad for McGraw.
He had to think fast.
619
00:37:25,618 --> 00:37:27,078
Get him!
620
00:37:27,412 --> 00:37:28,997
Oh, shit! Hold it!
621
00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:30,582
Hold it! Hold it! Hold it!
Guys, guys...
622
00:37:30,665 --> 00:37:33,209
Now, I know you're wondering
why I called you all here tonight,
623
00:37:33,293 --> 00:37:36,228
because I want to talk
to you about herpes.
624
00:37:46,681 --> 00:37:48,808
That's the end of that chapter.
625
00:37:51,436 --> 00:37:53,229
I don't wanna die tomorrow!
626
00:37:53,313 --> 00:37:56,065
You know I hate water.
It ruins a good drink.
627
00:37:56,149 --> 00:37:58,647
Oh, I'm gonna
projectile vomit on everyone!
628
00:37:58,902 --> 00:38:00,361
Excuse me.
629
00:38:01,321 --> 00:38:03,127
What am I, a turnstile?
630
00:38:04,491 --> 00:38:05,992
Bay Mist.
631
00:38:06,075 --> 00:38:10,205
No, it's either
Misty Crevice or Savage Truth.
632
00:38:10,288 --> 00:38:13,462
No, no, Bay Mist,
I'm tellin' you. Bay Mist.
633
00:38:14,257 --> 00:38:15,421
Oh!
634
00:38:15,835 --> 00:38:16,978
Bob!
635
00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:21,099
What happened?
Are you okay?
636
00:38:21,633 --> 00:38:23,092
Bob, it's us!
637
00:38:24,260 --> 00:38:27,555
Oh, boy!
Am I glad to see you guys.
638
00:38:27,639 --> 00:38:30,308
This is a terrible place
to spend the night alone.
639
00:38:30,391 --> 00:38:31,851
Who did it?
640
00:38:32,602 --> 00:38:34,395
They got you, too?
641
00:38:34,479 --> 00:38:35,939
Bob, how many were there?
642
00:38:36,022 --> 00:38:37,941
I didn't get all their names,
643
00:38:39,192 --> 00:38:42,778
but they all wore
the same cologne.
644
00:38:46,616 --> 00:38:50,124
You know, this is gonna be
a piece of fucking cake.
645
00:38:51,663 --> 00:38:55,291
Good afternoon and welcome
to this year's annual collegiate
646
00:38:55,375 --> 00:38:57,210
White Water Rafting Race.
647
00:38:57,293 --> 00:39:00,839
It's a perfect day
for rapid competition.
648
00:39:00,922 --> 00:39:03,716
The temperature is
a comfortable 86 degrees,
649
00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:06,886
the water at
a refreshing 53 degrees.
650
00:39:08,638 --> 00:39:11,307
With the disqualification
of last year's winner,
651
00:39:11,391 --> 00:39:13,560
Washington Military Institute,
652
00:39:13,643 --> 00:39:15,770
we have 13 entries this year.
653
00:39:15,854 --> 00:39:19,440
Good luck to all
of our participants!
654
00:39:22,443 --> 00:39:25,488
♪ It's either lose or win ♪
655
00:39:25,572 --> 00:39:28,575
♪ You'll either break or bend ♪
656
00:39:28,658 --> 00:39:31,327
♪ Pushing it one more inch ♪
657
00:39:31,411 --> 00:39:34,747
♪ You better be steady, boy ♪
658
00:39:34,831 --> 00:39:37,875
♪ It's waiting all for you ♪
659
00:39:37,959 --> 00:39:41,004
♪ Need to give all you've got ♪
660
00:39:41,087 --> 00:39:43,548
♪ It's time to take your shot ♪
661
00:39:43,631 --> 00:39:46,885
♪ You got nothing to lose ♪
662
00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:01,399
I thought we got rid of him.
663
00:40:02,066 --> 00:40:04,565
Well, he's obviously a slow learner.
664
00:40:17,457 --> 00:40:19,334
Bob, what happened?
665
00:40:19,638 --> 00:40:21,667
Oh, oh!
Does it hurt?
666
00:40:21,693 --> 00:40:22,693
Oh, ah ah!
667
00:40:22,837 --> 00:40:25,312
Not so much anymore,
now that you're here.
668
00:40:25,344 --> 00:40:26,470
Was it that creep?
669
00:40:26,502 --> 00:40:29,052
Let's just say I slipped
on a bar of soap in the shower
670
00:40:29,135 --> 00:40:30,511
as a bus ran out of control
671
00:40:30,595 --> 00:40:32,364
and crashed into
the medicine cabinet.
672
00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:35,808
I'm really sorry.
Is there anything I can do?
673
00:40:35,892 --> 00:40:38,199
Actually,
I made a list, but, uh...
674
00:40:38,770 --> 00:40:41,407
This will have to suffice
until the race is over.
675
00:40:48,863 --> 00:40:51,783
Ten minutes!
Ten minutes to starting time!
676
00:40:52,116 --> 00:40:54,758
Hey, come on, guys!
Where's your spirit?
677
00:40:54,877 --> 00:40:57,921
We oughta give these teams
some support! Yea!
678
00:40:59,757 --> 00:41:02,384
Come on, we can't send
'em down the river with nothing.
679
00:41:02,468 --> 00:41:03,802
What do you say?
680
00:41:06,847 --> 00:41:08,830
Now what do you say?
681
00:41:24,531 --> 00:41:26,617
There they are.
682
00:41:27,868 --> 00:41:31,872
All getting ready for
the start of their little race.
683
00:41:32,790 --> 00:41:36,585
Does that civilian mashed potato
think he can disqualify us?
684
00:41:37,711 --> 00:41:39,463
They'll see.
685
00:41:39,546 --> 00:41:41,507
They'll see!
686
00:41:41,879 --> 00:41:44,635
The race will continue for two days.
687
00:41:45,177 --> 00:41:47,888
Today you will race
to this point, Beaver Flats,
688
00:41:47,971 --> 00:41:50,474
where the first five teams
will pick up flags.
689
00:41:50,557 --> 00:41:53,310
And only the first five teams
to pick up flags
690
00:41:53,393 --> 00:41:55,062
will be in the second day.
691
00:41:55,145 --> 00:41:57,231
And those of you who pick up flags
692
00:41:57,314 --> 00:41:59,274
will then portage to Chicken Falls
693
00:41:59,358 --> 00:42:01,485
where you will spend the night
and turn in your flags.
694
00:42:01,568 --> 00:42:04,154
Then tomorrow morning at 10:00,
695
00:42:04,238 --> 00:42:06,573
you will continue the race downriver.
696
00:42:06,865 --> 00:42:10,661
Now, you all come here to represent
your colleges and your universities.
697
00:42:10,744 --> 00:42:13,539
You have come here
to participate in an annual event
698
00:42:13,622 --> 00:42:18,335
that shows good, healthy
American competition is still alive.
699
00:42:20,510 --> 00:42:22,172
And before we start the race,
700
00:42:22,256 --> 00:42:24,299
I'd like to thank you for participating,
701
00:42:24,383 --> 00:42:27,219
wish you good luck, godspeed,
702
00:42:27,302 --> 00:42:28,952
and may the best team win.
703
00:42:34,101 --> 00:42:35,602
There he is.
704
00:42:36,061 --> 00:42:38,313
There he is.
705
00:42:38,814 --> 00:42:42,651
I'm gonna get that son of a bitch
if it's the last thing I ever do!
706
00:42:46,238 --> 00:42:49,446
Alright.
Rafters, man your paddles!
707
00:42:52,661 --> 00:42:53,811
Ready.
708
00:42:57,374 --> 00:42:58,459
Set.
709
00:42:59,913 --> 00:43:01,042
[GUNSHOT]
710
00:43:01,702 --> 00:43:02,975
[PEW!]
711
00:43:09,011 --> 00:43:11,346
There's the gun, and they're off!
712
00:43:11,430 --> 00:43:14,641
We've got 13 rafts
racing for their school's honor.
713
00:43:14,808 --> 00:43:17,561
The rivalry between
Arkansas Christian State
714
00:43:17,644 --> 00:43:21,773
and St. Martin's Bible College
heats up once again!
715
00:43:27,696 --> 00:43:30,240
And they're hitting the water, folks!
716
00:43:31,241 --> 00:43:34,161
Oh, my, folks, this is bedlam!
717
00:43:36,788 --> 00:43:38,916
The ladies of Iowa A&M...
718
00:43:40,918 --> 00:43:43,086
Uh-oh, what's this?
Oh, that's too bad,
719
00:43:43,170 --> 00:43:45,964
looks like one more
faulty equipment.
720
00:43:46,465 --> 00:43:50,177
We are now down
to nine rafts, just nine!
721
00:43:50,260 --> 00:43:51,803
No, Bob!
722
00:43:54,014 --> 00:43:55,682
Look, guys, please!
I don't wanna die!
723
00:43:55,766 --> 00:43:59,019
I'm so young,
I've got my looks, I've got my health.
724
00:43:59,102 --> 00:44:01,355
- I've got my whole life ahead of me!
- To the water!
725
00:44:01,438 --> 00:44:03,232
I've got too much to live for!
726
00:44:04,483 --> 00:44:05,859
Like what?
727
00:44:05,943 --> 00:44:07,778
Like what? Like what?
728
00:44:07,861 --> 00:44:09,154
Women.
729
00:44:09,238 --> 00:44:12,115
There might be a woman out there
who might want to have sex with me.
730
00:44:17,621 --> 00:44:21,416
And that's Ivy U!
Yes, Ivy U, this year's favorite.
731
00:44:22,167 --> 00:44:24,503
Three, two, one!
732
00:44:24,725 --> 00:44:26,379
[EXPLOSION]
733
00:44:26,756 --> 00:44:28,665
Oh! Sweet Jesus!
734
00:44:30,342 --> 00:44:32,302
Please don't make me do this.
735
00:44:32,386 --> 00:44:35,347
Don't make me go, alright?
I'm gonna die!
736
00:44:35,430 --> 00:44:38,517
I don't wanna die!
I wanna live!
737
00:44:43,355 --> 00:44:45,691
Thanks. I needed that.
738
00:44:46,775 --> 00:44:47,901
Shall we go?
739
00:44:55,200 --> 00:44:56,243
Get him out of there!
740
00:44:57,661 --> 00:44:58,954
Get in here, Shamu!
741
00:45:44,082 --> 00:45:45,709
Hey, that's good.
742
00:45:46,668 --> 00:45:48,003
Alright.
743
00:45:48,879 --> 00:45:50,547
Give me a hard left.
744
00:45:56,094 --> 00:45:58,722
Their situation seemed utterly hopeless.
745
00:45:58,805 --> 00:46:00,640
And with damn good reason.
746
00:46:15,197 --> 00:46:16,698
Yeah! Alright!
747
00:46:24,873 --> 00:46:26,666
Pull! Pull!
748
00:46:29,586 --> 00:46:30,837
Come on!
749
00:47:06,790 --> 00:47:08,250
This is it, guys.
750
00:47:09,251 --> 00:47:11,920
We can do it, guys,
I know we can. I can feel it.
751
00:47:12,003 --> 00:47:14,089
It's just water and rock, that's all!
752
00:47:14,756 --> 00:47:16,633
We'll show this river who's boss!
753
00:47:16,717 --> 00:47:18,343
This river will be ours!
754
00:47:23,432 --> 00:47:25,016
This is not a good sign.
755
00:47:25,100 --> 00:47:26,861
ALL:
No. No, no no, no.
756
00:47:28,812 --> 00:47:31,565
Sorry, guys,
I guess I got a little carried away.
757
00:47:33,161 --> 00:47:34,482
Oh, my God!
758
00:47:41,450 --> 00:47:42,951
Stop! it!
759
00:47:44,494 --> 00:47:46,788
Oh, my God!
760
00:48:20,280 --> 00:48:22,783
- That was great!
- We did it!
761
00:48:25,285 --> 00:48:27,162
I don't believe it!
762
00:48:27,746 --> 00:48:30,790
Son of a bitch, we did it.
And we're still alive!
763
00:48:31,166 --> 00:48:33,376
Un-fucking-believable!
764
00:48:33,460 --> 00:48:36,087
Wasn't bad for
a bunch of losers!
765
00:48:36,463 --> 00:48:40,300
Well, you have just made it through
the world's most dangerous rapid!
766
00:48:40,550 --> 00:48:42,928
And now, it's beer time!
767
00:48:44,679 --> 00:48:47,390
I risked my life,
and you give me light beer?
768
00:48:48,225 --> 00:48:51,061
Lepetomane! Lepetomane!
769
00:48:51,144 --> 00:48:52,562
Lepetomane!
770
00:48:57,275 --> 00:48:58,735
Das raft!
771
00:48:59,069 --> 00:49:01,154
We toast you!
772
00:49:02,656 --> 00:49:04,866
Hey, where've you
Nazis been, huh?
773
00:49:04,950 --> 00:49:06,326
Didn't you see us
go through those rapids?
774
00:49:06,409 --> 00:49:08,161
You think we're
kidding around here?
775
00:49:11,831 --> 00:49:12,958
Hi, boys!
776
00:49:13,041 --> 00:49:15,293
Shoot him, Rex.
777
00:49:15,919 --> 00:49:18,171
I don't like those guys.
778
00:49:19,714 --> 00:49:21,800
I warned you, you bozo!
779
00:49:22,025 --> 00:49:24,840
ALL:
Whoa!
780
00:49:26,518 --> 00:49:28,063
Yeah!
781
00:49:28,181 --> 00:49:29,307
What the hell is that?
782
00:49:29,391 --> 00:49:31,643
Oh, they hit us with a little dart.
783
00:49:32,852 --> 00:49:34,646
Good shot, Rex, good shot.
784
00:49:35,146 --> 00:49:37,732
Bob, it's ticking.
785
00:49:43,817 --> 00:49:45,319
Jerks!
786
00:49:46,616 --> 00:49:50,662
Five, four, three, two, one!
787
00:49:55,959 --> 00:49:57,460
Take that, suckers!
788
00:49:58,045 --> 00:49:59,375
Yeah, you moron!
789
00:49:59,796 --> 00:50:02,007
Were those the guys
that got you last night?
790
00:50:02,090 --> 00:50:03,300
How could ya tell?
791
00:50:03,383 --> 00:50:05,260
They're all wearing
the same cologne.
792
00:50:05,598 --> 00:50:06,631
Scumbag!
793
00:50:07,178 --> 00:50:08,305
Come on, guys,
794
00:50:08,388 --> 00:50:10,140
let's get the hell
out of Dodge!
795
00:50:16,563 --> 00:50:19,357
Alright, now get that rock
in the sling...
796
00:50:19,441 --> 00:50:20,942
I'm goin' up!
797
00:50:27,866 --> 00:50:29,367
- Push, man!
- I'm pushing!
798
00:50:43,673 --> 00:50:44,758
How we doin', guys?
799
00:50:44,841 --> 00:50:45,884
Ready, Bob.
800
00:50:46,009 --> 00:50:47,641
- Okay, let's go.
- God, it's empty.
801
00:50:48,637 --> 00:50:51,056
Bob, it's empty.
802
00:50:51,139 --> 00:50:53,475
I gotta have a drink.
I don't think I can make it.
803
00:50:53,558 --> 00:50:54,684
You can do it, kid,
I know you can.
804
00:50:54,768 --> 00:50:56,269
No, no, no.
I don't think I can.
805
00:50:57,354 --> 00:50:59,105
You're not trying.
806
00:51:00,190 --> 00:51:01,691
Lemme give it another shot.
807
00:51:02,609 --> 00:51:03,818
I knew you could do it.
808
00:51:05,695 --> 00:51:06,905
Irwin.
809
00:51:13,790 --> 00:51:15,870
Hey, ooh-ya!
810
00:51:19,167 --> 00:51:21,252
Alright. Left turn!
811
00:51:22,504 --> 00:51:23,588
Forward easy!
812
00:51:35,475 --> 00:51:37,018
- Push, man!
- I'm pushing!
813
00:51:38,812 --> 00:51:39,938
Now!
814
00:51:41,064 --> 00:51:42,190
- Now?
- Now?
815
00:51:43,448 --> 00:51:44,651
Ah!
816
00:51:50,865 --> 00:51:53,396
Unidentified flying asshole.
817
00:51:54,537 --> 00:51:56,045
ALL:
Ew!
818
00:51:57,330 --> 00:51:59,249
- Party time!
- Two! Two!
819
00:52:39,873 --> 00:52:41,916
Let's move!
820
00:52:52,469 --> 00:52:53,678
Where's Ivy U?
821
00:52:53,762 --> 00:52:55,513
Who cares, as long as
they're not ahead of us!
822
00:52:55,597 --> 00:52:57,015
Let's go!
823
00:52:59,851 --> 00:53:01,144
Grab a flag!
824
00:53:03,396 --> 00:53:04,522
Got a flag!
825
00:53:07,192 --> 00:53:08,401
- Brown.
- Sir!
826
00:53:08,526 --> 00:53:09,861
- Johnson.
- Sir!
827
00:53:09,944 --> 00:53:11,696
Good job, men, good job!
828
00:53:15,241 --> 00:53:16,534
Whitney.
829
00:53:17,452 --> 00:53:18,703
Soon...
830
00:53:22,165 --> 00:53:23,458
Soon.
831
00:53:41,976 --> 00:53:43,269
Look at that!
832
00:53:43,353 --> 00:53:45,480
Now, that can stop us.
833
00:53:45,855 --> 00:53:47,440
Duck! Duck!
834
00:54:01,955 --> 00:54:04,332
Say your prayers, gentlemen.
835
00:54:08,711 --> 00:54:10,839
Come on, come on!
They're gonna get past!
836
00:54:10,922 --> 00:54:12,215
Now!
837
00:54:15,552 --> 00:54:17,011
It's goin' the wrong way!
838
00:54:22,892 --> 00:54:24,936
- Go! Go!
- Move it! Move it!
839
00:54:45,957 --> 00:54:49,169
Tonight, we are gonna be
in bimbette's heaven!
840
00:54:50,753 --> 00:54:52,338
Good work!
841
00:54:53,047 --> 00:54:54,591
Alright, now, Rocky,
842
00:54:54,674 --> 00:54:56,634
get one flag
and lose the other!
843
00:54:56,718 --> 00:54:58,052
Gotcha.
844
00:54:58,928 --> 00:55:00,471
Let's go, man.
845
00:55:00,680 --> 00:55:03,308
- One, two...
- Yeah!
846
00:55:06,352 --> 00:55:07,687
Keep it up, guys.
847
00:55:07,770 --> 00:55:09,314
Keep it goin'.
848
00:55:09,689 --> 00:55:11,441
I know it's tough.
849
00:55:11,524 --> 00:55:13,109
And I know that
you know it's tough.
850
00:55:13,735 --> 00:55:15,361
But try not to think about it.
851
00:55:15,820 --> 00:55:17,697
Think about those degrees
we're gonna get
852
00:55:17,780 --> 00:55:19,699
when we win this race!
853
00:55:19,866 --> 00:55:21,743
Maybe that'll help you
forget the pain.
854
00:55:25,663 --> 00:55:28,082
More likely it won't,
but give it a shot.
855
00:55:30,376 --> 00:55:32,670
Your bag of goodies
was a real bargain, Doctor.
856
00:55:32,754 --> 00:55:33,838
You bet your bottom dollar.
857
00:55:33,922 --> 00:55:35,048
There's only four boats left.
858
00:55:35,131 --> 00:55:38,134
I think we earned
that little soiree of yours tonight.
859
00:55:38,301 --> 00:55:40,053
St. Martin's, Sara Teasdale,
Texas State, and us.
860
00:55:40,428 --> 00:55:41,721
And Lepetomane.
861
00:55:41,804 --> 00:55:43,264
- Lepetomane?
- What?
862
00:55:43,348 --> 00:55:45,725
We took care of those remedials
after the first rapids!
863
00:55:45,808 --> 00:55:47,936
Well, whoever "we" is
didn't do a very thorough job,
864
00:55:48,019 --> 00:55:49,228
'cause they're still on the river.
865
00:55:49,312 --> 00:55:50,438
- What?
- I don't believe it.
866
00:55:50,521 --> 00:55:52,357
I thought we nailed those Twinkies!
867
00:56:00,782 --> 00:56:03,534
Control tower to Ivy,
you're cleared for takeoff.
868
00:56:05,995 --> 00:56:07,455
I love it.
869
00:56:12,669 --> 00:56:14,295
I don't like the sound of this.
870
00:56:15,546 --> 00:56:18,424
It's too quiet.
871
00:56:20,260 --> 00:56:22,095
What could it be?
872
00:56:23,513 --> 00:56:24,639
Indians!
873
00:56:24,751 --> 00:56:26,219
[BUZZING]
874
00:56:29,143 --> 00:56:30,687
What the hell is that?
875
00:56:31,354 --> 00:56:32,772
Sounds like big mosquitoes.
876
00:56:38,392 --> 00:56:39,563
Uh-oh.
877
00:56:41,963 --> 00:56:42,997
It's comin' at us!
878
00:56:43,582 --> 00:56:44,891
Get down!
879
00:56:49,437 --> 00:56:50,930
- It's comin' back!
- Oh, no.
880
00:56:53,042 --> 00:56:54,585
Bob, get down!
881
00:56:55,858 --> 00:56:57,068
This is dangerous!
882
00:56:59,445 --> 00:57:01,155
How'd you like that, guys?
883
00:57:09,080 --> 00:57:11,165
This has gone far enough!
884
00:57:11,629 --> 00:57:15,049
He's right!
It's gone far enough!
885
00:57:22,265 --> 00:57:24,392
Gonz! Get down!
886
00:57:31,996 --> 00:57:33,610
Abandon ship!
887
00:57:34,235 --> 00:57:36,070
- Get out! Get out!
- Not again!
888
00:57:36,946 --> 00:57:38,448
Kamikaze!
889
00:57:45,997 --> 00:57:48,416
Let's see you get out of that one,
you dipshit!
890
00:57:48,499 --> 00:57:49,584
Let's get out of here.
891
00:57:49,667 --> 00:57:50,919
Max!
892
00:57:52,503 --> 00:57:53,838
Hey, Max!
893
00:58:00,511 --> 00:58:02,180
I want the blond!
894
00:58:02,263 --> 00:58:03,890
- You putz!
- Are those real breasts?
895
00:58:08,228 --> 00:58:09,896
I want leverage!
896
00:58:10,021 --> 00:58:14,484
Him, his doggie,
one of his men, anyone!
897
00:58:15,068 --> 00:58:17,293
Reconnoiter 0600 sharp!
898
00:58:19,572 --> 00:58:21,824
Come back with a prisoner,
899
00:58:23,034 --> 00:58:24,980
or don't come back!
900
00:58:25,301 --> 00:58:26,383
Yes, sir!
901
00:58:27,622 --> 00:58:29,082
Hey, it's Chuck!
902
00:58:29,165 --> 00:58:31,459
Wow, he's got the last flag!
903
00:58:33,934 --> 00:58:35,215
[MOANS]
904
00:58:36,005 --> 00:58:37,806
What is this?
An attitude?
905
00:58:37,825 --> 00:58:38,825
[BARK]
906
00:58:39,258 --> 00:58:40,760
I'm sorry if we were a little bit late,
907
00:58:40,843 --> 00:58:42,762
we had a few problems.
908
00:58:42,971 --> 00:58:45,390
We weren't out on the town
like someone I could mention.
909
00:58:45,473 --> 00:58:48,101
- Chuck, he was mugged last night!
- Let him be!
910
00:58:48,184 --> 00:58:49,894
If he wants to be
a complete jerk, let him.
911
00:58:50,061 --> 00:58:51,854
I don't think we need to
explain to him that somebody
912
00:58:51,938 --> 00:58:55,400
tried to destroy our raft,
knock us out of the race.
913
00:58:55,483 --> 00:58:57,402
No, if he's gonna get
his nose bent out of shape
914
00:58:57,485 --> 00:58:59,237
over a little lost time,
915
00:58:59,320 --> 00:59:02,038
I'd rather not talk to him, either.
You're a dog.
916
00:59:02,314 --> 00:59:03,810
- [BARK]
- Grab the raft.
917
00:59:03,837 --> 00:59:05,301
[CHUCK WHINING]
918
00:59:07,327 --> 00:59:08,327
Look...
919
00:59:08,413 --> 00:59:11,089
I suppose it doesn't make any difference
that they beat up Bob?
920
00:59:11,916 --> 00:59:15,211
That's right. Pipes, bottles,
chains, hitting, pain...
921
00:59:15,295 --> 00:59:17,422
There were 10 of 'em.
Ten big ones.
922
00:59:17,797 --> 00:59:19,185
- Maybe eleven.
- [WOOF]
923
00:59:19,257 --> 00:59:22,051
Oh, and you should've heard
the names they called him.
924
00:59:23,445 --> 00:59:24,851
[BARKING]
925
00:59:24,887 --> 00:59:26,444
Sensitive dog.
926
00:59:28,016 --> 00:59:32,311
Yes, okay, okay, I forgive you.
927
00:59:32,395 --> 00:59:34,564
I know you were playing hard to get.
928
00:59:35,481 --> 00:59:37,400
Chuck, what is it?
929
00:59:37,483 --> 00:59:38,609
I smell it, too.
930
00:59:38,693 --> 00:59:40,361
It smells like...
931
00:59:40,486 --> 00:59:41,779
Cologne.
932
00:59:45,408 --> 00:59:49,120
Suddenly he knew what
the night held in store for them.
933
00:59:50,204 --> 00:59:52,332
And he liked the smell of it.
934
00:59:56,586 --> 00:59:58,087
Are you okay?
935
00:59:59,672 --> 01:00:01,466
You know something?
936
01:00:01,841 --> 01:00:05,486
I really thought that McGraw
had a chance.
937
01:00:05,970 --> 01:00:07,055
I mean, however slim,
938
01:00:07,138 --> 01:00:09,277
I really thought
that he might make it.
939
01:00:09,891 --> 01:00:11,601
I would have liked
to have seen him again.
940
01:00:11,684 --> 01:00:13,394
"Seen," young lady?
941
01:00:13,478 --> 01:00:14,812
For starters.
942
01:00:14,896 --> 01:00:17,285
You mean to tell me
you're not coming?
943
01:00:17,774 --> 01:00:18,816
No.
944
01:00:18,900 --> 01:00:20,651
Okey-dokey, honey.
See ya later.
945
01:00:21,402 --> 01:00:23,809
- Happy trails.
- Bye-bye, hon.
946
01:00:38,836 --> 01:00:40,671
Revenge is a dish
best eaten cold
947
01:00:40,755 --> 01:00:42,590
and with your hands.
948
01:00:51,641 --> 01:00:54,102
It's a little early
for Christmas, isn't it?
949
01:01:07,741 --> 01:01:09,423
Just breathe.
950
01:01:19,147 --> 01:01:21,508
[LAUGHING]
951
01:01:23,256 --> 01:01:24,549
Tomorrow should be a breeze.
952
01:01:24,632 --> 01:01:26,551
By the time you cross that finish line,
953
01:01:26,634 --> 01:01:29,887
I'm betting that yours
is the only raft on the river.
954
01:01:52,285 --> 01:01:54,245
Let's have some more champagne!
955
01:02:06,382 --> 01:02:07,675
Waiter!
956
01:02:08,890 --> 01:02:11,179
[GONZER IMITATES FEMALE VOICE]
957
01:02:23,900 --> 01:02:25,610
Wait a minute, I know that dog!
958
01:02:27,111 --> 01:02:28,779
I know that dog!
959
01:02:29,405 --> 01:02:31,115
Hey, what's going on?
960
01:02:31,866 --> 01:02:32,909
Wait a minute!
961
01:02:47,548 --> 01:02:48,925
Well, well, what is this?
962
01:02:49,008 --> 01:02:50,927
A meeting of the assholes of America?
963
01:02:51,093 --> 01:02:52,386
Look who's here.
964
01:02:52,470 --> 01:02:53,721
We missed you guys!
965
01:02:53,804 --> 01:02:55,389
We didn't miss you, you jerk.
966
01:02:55,473 --> 01:02:57,600
Hurry up, put that on!
I haven't got all night!
967
01:02:57,683 --> 01:02:58,935
You asshole!
968
01:02:59,018 --> 01:03:00,645
Oh, excuse me.
969
01:03:15,329 --> 01:03:16,556
Excusez-moi.
970
01:03:19,330 --> 01:03:21,457
You wouldn't hit a lady,
would you?
971
01:03:29,423 --> 01:03:30,466
Mocha.
972
01:03:36,145 --> 01:03:37,190
Ta-da!
973
01:03:37,765 --> 01:03:40,309
No, no, no, no!
No. No.
974
01:03:42,353 --> 01:03:43,646
Get out, come on.
975
01:03:45,731 --> 01:03:47,441
Now I got you, you bastard.
976
01:03:49,485 --> 01:03:51,862
It's so much better this way.
977
01:03:54,865 --> 01:03:56,242
So much for the piano.
978
01:03:59,620 --> 01:04:01,289
Bob. The tub.
979
01:04:03,708 --> 01:04:04,834
Bye.
980
01:04:05,293 --> 01:04:06,836
Table for one.
981
01:04:21,559 --> 01:04:23,102
You incompetent twits!
982
01:04:25,062 --> 01:04:26,981
Let's get outta here!
983
01:04:45,041 --> 01:04:46,917
There you are.
984
01:04:47,293 --> 01:04:50,963
Bob! Where have you been?
What's going on around here?
985
01:04:51,047 --> 01:04:53,257
It's such a long story.
986
01:04:54,425 --> 01:04:57,136
Gosh, is there someplace
that we can talk?
987
01:04:57,571 --> 01:04:58,749
Uh-uh.
988
01:05:00,264 --> 01:05:04,143
Well, is there someplace
that we can pet heavily?
989
01:05:10,721 --> 01:05:11,986
They screwed up our raft!
990
01:05:12,025 --> 01:05:13,246
We're out of the race!
991
01:05:14,737 --> 01:05:16,072
Terrific!
992
01:05:16,530 --> 01:05:17,615
Look at that!
993
01:05:19,742 --> 01:05:21,827
Wait! What...
994
01:05:31,796 --> 01:05:33,381
Now, tell me,
995
01:05:34,548 --> 01:05:38,713
was it as good for you
as it was for me that time?
996
01:05:40,221 --> 01:05:41,616
Not exactly.
997
01:05:42,390 --> 01:05:44,809
Bob! Irwin's gone,
we can't find him anywhere.
998
01:05:44,892 --> 01:05:46,769
I think something happened to him.
999
01:05:47,269 --> 01:05:48,854
Did I interrupt anything?
1000
01:05:51,190 --> 01:05:52,483
Not exactly.
1001
01:05:52,566 --> 01:05:54,360
Look, I'll meet you at the raft.
1002
01:05:54,443 --> 01:05:55,945
Oh, Max, this is Heather.
Heather, this Max.
1003
01:05:56,028 --> 01:05:57,113
- Hi.
- Hi.
1004
01:05:58,531 --> 01:05:59,824
Pleasure to meet you.
1005
01:06:00,699 --> 01:06:01,833
Do you need any help?
1006
01:06:02,326 --> 01:06:04,912
No, thanks. I've been
dressing myself for years.
1007
01:06:04,995 --> 01:06:06,555
But I appreciate the offer.
1008
01:06:11,377 --> 01:06:12,711
When this is over
1009
01:06:12,795 --> 01:06:14,964
and somebody's won this damn thing,
1010
01:06:15,047 --> 01:06:17,321
I'd like to think I could
jump on you again sometime.
1011
01:06:28,561 --> 01:06:30,941
Disqualify me, will they?
1012
01:06:31,188 --> 01:06:35,052
Well, now I've got them
right where I want them!
1013
01:06:35,985 --> 01:06:39,154
You thought the disguise would fool me?
1014
01:06:40,739 --> 01:06:43,457
They can't beat me. No!
1015
01:06:43,784 --> 01:06:46,495
Because I'm the cream
of the military crop,
1016
01:06:46,579 --> 01:06:49,025
and I have a hostage.
1017
01:06:49,749 --> 01:06:53,223
A living, human hostage!
1018
01:06:53,961 --> 01:06:55,713
I can't find Irwin anywhere.
1019
01:06:55,963 --> 01:06:57,214
Poor little guy.
1020
01:06:57,298 --> 01:06:59,049
Hey, Gonz, don't you worry.
1021
01:06:59,133 --> 01:07:01,427
We're gonna find Irwin
if it takes a hundred years.
1022
01:07:01,510 --> 01:07:03,826
Hey, Bob.
He'll be dead by then.
1023
01:07:04,430 --> 01:07:05,848
- Good point.
- Thanks.
1024
01:07:06,891 --> 01:07:08,017
Wait a minute.
1025
01:07:08,100 --> 01:07:10,467
Wait a minute!
What about Chuck?
1026
01:07:11,047 --> 01:07:12,491
[WHINES]
1027
01:07:13,606 --> 01:07:14,648
Come on, Chuck.
1028
01:07:14,732 --> 01:07:17,151
I know you're tired,
but we need your help.
1029
01:07:17,234 --> 01:07:19,904
We've got to find Irwin
before it's too late!
1030
01:07:19,987 --> 01:07:21,906
We'll take the water,
you take the land. Whaddya say?
1031
01:07:21,989 --> 01:07:23,073
Come on, Chuck,
you remember Irwin.
1032
01:07:23,157 --> 01:07:25,441
He's got glasses,
he's skinny, he drinks a lot.
1033
01:07:25,562 --> 01:07:27,303
[GRUMBLING]
1034
01:07:27,661 --> 01:07:30,389
Here, Chuck, here. Try this.
1035
01:07:30,956 --> 01:07:32,833
You remember him now,
don't you, Chuck?
1036
01:07:33,018 --> 01:07:34,465
[LIGHT GROWL]
1037
01:07:34,793 --> 01:07:36,837
Alright. Alright, Chuck,
1038
01:07:36,921 --> 01:07:39,173
there's a new collar
in it for you, huh?
1039
01:07:39,256 --> 01:07:40,819
Does that jar your memory?
1040
01:07:41,029 --> 01:07:42,310
[SNORE]
1041
01:07:42,384 --> 01:07:43,802
Okay, okay.
1042
01:07:44,345 --> 01:07:47,365
No more plain-wrap dog food.
Does that ring any bells for you?
1043
01:07:47,557 --> 01:07:48,992
[WHINES]
1044
01:07:49,058 --> 01:07:52,577
I'll put you up for stud.
But that's it, take it or leave it.
1045
01:07:58,940 --> 01:08:01,237
Boy, what's the world coming to
1046
01:08:01,320 --> 01:08:03,447
when you have to
bribe your own dog?
1047
01:08:03,531 --> 01:08:04,865
The dog's a whore, Bob.
1048
01:08:04,949 --> 01:08:06,596
I trained him well.
1049
01:08:09,036 --> 01:08:11,664
Nobody does that to Ivy!
1050
01:08:11,747 --> 01:08:15,376
Guys, we got a race to win here,
act like adults.
1051
01:08:15,626 --> 01:08:17,753
I'm gonna get that weenie!
1052
01:08:17,878 --> 01:08:19,755
We're gonna get that weenie!
1053
01:08:19,839 --> 01:08:21,465
We're gonna win this race!
1054
01:08:21,590 --> 01:08:24,260
Geez, Rex, too much caffeine
making you tense?
1055
01:08:25,094 --> 01:08:27,846
After last night,
you wanna go again, huh?
1056
01:08:27,930 --> 01:08:29,890
- That's right.
- You must've liked it, huh?
1057
01:08:29,974 --> 01:08:31,100
I'm ready and willing.
1058
01:08:31,183 --> 01:08:33,561
- I'm always able.
- Alright! Nice!
1059
01:08:33,644 --> 01:08:35,563
Left turn, men,
we've got company!
1060
01:08:35,646 --> 01:08:36,772
What?
1061
01:08:36,992 --> 01:08:38,562
- What the fuck?
- It's the bitches!
1062
01:08:38,594 --> 01:08:40,344
- Look who's with us.
- Whew!
1063
01:08:40,818 --> 01:08:42,691
Check it out.
1064
01:08:42,987 --> 01:08:44,738
- Hey.
- The bleach boys.
1065
01:08:44,822 --> 01:08:47,074
Good afternoon, ladies!
1066
01:08:47,366 --> 01:08:49,410
Alright, guys, listen.
1067
01:08:49,535 --> 01:08:50,995
We're gonna beat 'em,
and we're gonna win,
1068
01:08:51,078 --> 01:08:53,038
and let's go into a hard forward.
1069
01:08:54,456 --> 01:08:56,667
The instrument, maestro,
if you will.
1070
01:08:56,876 --> 01:08:58,836
See ya, ladies!
1071
01:09:00,087 --> 01:09:01,839
They'll like this, won't they?
1072
01:09:01,922 --> 01:09:04,008
- What's that?
- What the hell is that?
1073
01:09:04,091 --> 01:09:05,576
Alright,
sweetheart.
1074
01:09:09,054 --> 01:09:10,723
- It's a torpedo.
- Oh, shit!
1075
01:09:10,823 --> 01:09:12,496
We've got to get out of here!
1076
01:09:18,439 --> 01:09:20,107
Good shot, Rex, good shot!
1077
01:09:20,858 --> 01:09:23,258
You jerk! You asshole!
1078
01:09:23,619 --> 01:09:26,333
[ALL JEERING]
1079
01:09:27,489 --> 01:09:28,532
Adios, ladies!
1080
01:09:31,201 --> 01:09:34,455
We got those morons.
So let's go get Lepetomane!
1081
01:09:35,706 --> 01:09:37,777
Well done, soldiers, well done!
1082
01:09:38,847 --> 01:09:40,606
Ah! Ew! Oh!
1083
01:09:41,462 --> 01:09:43,422
From here, we take the island.
1084
01:09:43,505 --> 01:09:45,257
We beach the craft in the south,
1085
01:09:45,341 --> 01:09:47,384
then move to a high point above.
1086
01:09:47,468 --> 01:09:51,960
Then, we hang the bait, and wait!
1087
01:09:52,473 --> 01:09:54,164
Now move out!
1088
01:09:56,852 --> 01:09:59,271
Stroke! Stroke!
1089
01:10:00,147 --> 01:10:01,398
Stroke!
1090
01:10:01,815 --> 01:10:03,233
Stroke!
1091
01:10:06,612 --> 01:10:07,988
Johnson,
1092
01:10:08,322 --> 01:10:09,948
ready the jet.
1093
01:10:10,532 --> 01:10:11,950
Yes sir.
1094
01:10:13,160 --> 01:10:16,705
Brown, ready the wireless control system.
1095
01:10:16,997 --> 01:10:18,040
Yes, sir.
1096
01:10:22,044 --> 01:10:24,220
It's those G.I. Joe guys!
1097
01:10:25,881 --> 01:10:27,346
- Where?
- There.
1098
01:10:32,096 --> 01:10:33,639
Get back in your pouch!
1099
01:10:34,181 --> 01:10:36,850
They got Irwin!
In a wet bag!
1100
01:10:38,769 --> 01:10:40,104
Come on!
1101
01:10:41,188 --> 01:10:42,982
It's toboggan time!
1102
01:10:43,148 --> 01:10:46,235
Wait a minute, Bob!
Are you sure that's a good idea?
1103
01:10:46,318 --> 01:10:48,278
Nah, but at this point
it's beside the point.
1104
01:10:48,362 --> 01:10:49,947
Oh, boy.
1105
01:10:50,364 --> 01:10:52,658
Forward easy.
1106
01:10:55,869 --> 01:10:57,204
Bob! No!
1107
01:10:59,665 --> 01:11:00,958
- Too fast! Too fast!
- Shit!
1108
01:11:01,041 --> 01:11:05,212
No!
1109
01:11:08,757 --> 01:11:11,051
We're gonna get wet again!
1110
01:11:18,434 --> 01:11:20,018
Nice shot, Bob.
1111
01:11:20,102 --> 01:11:21,729
Come on!
Irwin's gettin' away!
1112
01:11:24,481 --> 01:11:27,026
Alright, so I miscalculated.
What are you gonna do, fire me?
1113
01:11:27,234 --> 01:11:28,986
I'll think about it.
1114
01:11:30,112 --> 01:11:31,572
Stroke!
1115
01:11:31,697 --> 01:11:32,948
Stroke!
1116
01:11:33,282 --> 01:11:34,324
Stroke!
1117
01:11:34,742 --> 01:11:35,909
- Stroke!
- Sir!
1118
01:11:37,327 --> 01:11:39,121
The island's just up ahead, sir!
1119
01:11:39,705 --> 01:11:41,707
Good. Good.
1120
01:11:41,790 --> 01:11:44,042
I'm ready with the jet, sir.
1121
01:11:44,126 --> 01:11:47,212
Ready with the wireless
control system, sir.
1122
01:11:50,049 --> 01:11:51,216
Now!
1123
01:11:59,509 --> 01:12:00,509
Hold on!
1124
01:12:01,970 --> 01:12:03,376
Guys! Guys!
1125
01:12:05,481 --> 01:12:08,450
Victory! We are men!
1126
01:12:45,104 --> 01:12:46,772
Alright, meatheads!
1127
01:12:46,855 --> 01:12:49,191
What are you sittin' around for?
This is no picnic!
1128
01:12:49,274 --> 01:12:50,818
Captain, we can't win.
1129
01:12:50,901 --> 01:12:52,884
We were disqualified yesterday.
1130
01:12:53,028 --> 01:12:55,531
Disqualified?
We're not disqualified!
1131
01:12:55,614 --> 01:12:58,175
Not till I say we're disqualified!
1132
01:12:58,826 --> 01:13:01,745
It takes a river to win this war.
1133
01:13:03,163 --> 01:13:05,582
And there can't be a winner,
1134
01:13:05,666 --> 01:13:08,139
if there isn't a river!
1135
01:13:08,335 --> 01:13:09,461
Sir?
1136
01:13:10,420 --> 01:13:14,091
We're gonna blow the mother up!
1137
01:13:26,770 --> 01:13:28,397
Alright!
1138
01:13:28,480 --> 01:13:29,773
Women!
1139
01:13:34,361 --> 01:13:36,124
What is she doing out there?
1140
01:13:36,321 --> 01:13:37,906
Getting tan.
1141
01:13:38,615 --> 01:13:39,922
Forward easy.
1142
01:13:44,705 --> 01:13:46,892
- Alright?
- I'm fine.
1143
01:13:47,916 --> 01:13:49,668
Let me guess what happened.
1144
01:13:50,544 --> 01:13:51,837
That good old Ivy U.
1145
01:13:51,920 --> 01:13:54,434
You didn't have to tell me,
I woulda caught it.
1146
01:13:59,177 --> 01:14:01,388
Those guys almost killed us.
1147
01:14:01,722 --> 01:14:04,391
He's beginning to get a little nervy.
1148
01:14:04,474 --> 01:14:07,705
The thought of them winning this race
really makes me sick.
1149
01:14:08,812 --> 01:14:10,564
It isn't over yet.
1150
01:14:10,981 --> 01:14:12,465
Well, what are we waiting for?
1151
01:14:13,817 --> 01:14:15,986
Just a few indecent thoughts.
1152
01:14:19,948 --> 01:14:21,867
Okay, I'm ready now.
1153
01:14:21,950 --> 01:14:24,995
First, we get Irwin.
Then we get the trophy!
1154
01:14:25,078 --> 01:14:27,789
Hey, you guys!
I'll see you later, okay?
1155
01:14:27,873 --> 01:14:30,301
Revenge! Revenge!
Get 'em!
1156
01:14:32,169 --> 01:14:33,295
Forward easy!
1157
01:14:36,298 --> 01:14:39,974
Soon the river will go ka-boom!
1158
01:14:42,387 --> 01:14:45,390
A commander couldn't ask
for better soldiers.
1159
01:14:57,694 --> 01:14:58,946
Well,
1160
01:14:59,571 --> 01:15:01,156
while we're waiting for your captain
1161
01:15:01,240 --> 01:15:03,116
to come to your rescue,
1162
01:15:03,200 --> 01:15:05,285
maybe I should
warm up on you a little.
1163
01:15:05,369 --> 01:15:07,037
No? Alright.
1164
01:15:08,789 --> 01:15:11,792
How about the old bamboo
under the fingernails?
1165
01:15:12,626 --> 01:15:15,295
It's a personal favorite of mine,
1166
01:15:15,379 --> 01:15:17,631
and a nice way to loosen up, too,
1167
01:15:17,714 --> 01:15:19,675
you little schmo!
1168
01:15:24,721 --> 01:15:25,806
No!
1169
01:15:44,992 --> 01:15:48,245
Chuck, puppy! Am I glad to see you!
Where the hell you been?
1170
01:15:48,412 --> 01:15:50,747
Chuck, we're in
some kind of trouble, okay?
1171
01:15:50,831 --> 01:15:52,416
The guys are heading
right in for a trap,
1172
01:15:52,499 --> 01:15:53,583
we gotta warn 'em, alright?
1173
01:15:53,667 --> 01:15:55,508
So get me outta here.
Come on. Get me out.
1174
01:15:56,003 --> 01:15:57,838
What are you doing?
No, Chuck!
1175
01:15:59,214 --> 01:16:01,508
No, don't do...
Where are you going with those?
1176
01:16:01,591 --> 01:16:03,176
Don't leave me!
1177
01:16:03,510 --> 01:16:05,345
Chuck... What's that?
1178
01:16:05,595 --> 01:16:07,764
What are you doing?
Don't put that on there!
1179
01:16:09,057 --> 01:16:10,600
Chuck! Where you going?
1180
01:16:11,393 --> 01:16:13,812
No! No, Chuck, no!
1181
01:16:14,187 --> 01:16:16,481
Chuck, no! Chuck...
I can't... Not like...
1182
01:16:16,565 --> 01:16:18,317
This is not good, Chuck!
1183
01:16:18,400 --> 01:16:20,742
Oh, God, I'm so depressed!
1184
01:16:31,815 --> 01:16:34,560
[SNIFFING]
1185
01:16:39,629 --> 01:16:40,922
Irwin...
1186
01:16:42,424 --> 01:16:43,884
Irwin...
1187
01:16:45,594 --> 01:16:47,054
Irwin...
1188
01:16:47,971 --> 01:16:49,306
Irwin.
1189
01:16:49,639 --> 01:16:51,016
Irwin!
1190
01:16:51,641 --> 01:16:53,018
Irwin!
1191
01:16:53,351 --> 01:16:56,688
Irwin! Irwin!
1192
01:16:56,772 --> 01:16:57,981
Irwin!
1193
01:16:58,231 --> 01:17:01,485
Irwin! Irwin! Irwin!
1194
01:17:01,568 --> 01:17:03,153
What the hell?
1195
01:17:03,487 --> 01:17:05,155
Let's wait here.
1196
01:17:05,447 --> 01:17:07,199
Irwin! Irwin! Irwin!
1197
01:17:07,282 --> 01:17:09,659
Irwin! Irwin! Irwin!
1198
01:17:13,497 --> 01:17:15,165
Hey, it's Chuck!
1199
01:17:15,248 --> 01:17:16,750
Hey! Chucker!
1200
01:17:22,214 --> 01:17:24,132
Bob, it looks like
he's been drinkin' again.
1201
01:17:24,216 --> 01:17:25,634
No, not drinking.
1202
01:17:25,717 --> 01:17:28,261
Look! In his mouth!
It's Irwin's underwear.
1203
01:17:28,345 --> 01:17:29,888
No wonder he's acting like that.
1204
01:17:32,599 --> 01:17:34,423
That can only mean one thing!
1205
01:17:35,143 --> 01:17:36,744
Irwin's naked.
1206
01:17:37,604 --> 01:17:38,647
Right!
1207
01:17:38,730 --> 01:17:40,732
And Chuck knows where he is!
1208
01:17:40,816 --> 01:17:42,150
Let's go!
1209
01:17:43,527 --> 01:17:45,946
Left turn!
Forward easy!
1210
01:17:46,279 --> 01:17:49,211
They're quitting!
They've given up!
1211
01:17:50,075 --> 01:17:52,224
I knew they didn't have what it takes!
1212
01:17:53,745 --> 01:17:56,873
Hey! That's Lepetomane U
for ya, you degenerates!
1213
01:17:56,998 --> 01:17:59,189
Good old Lobotomy U!
1214
01:18:00,335 --> 01:18:02,379
Let's move out of here.
1215
01:18:02,838 --> 01:18:06,091
Let's just kick back and coast,
because the trophy is ours!
1216
01:18:07,467 --> 01:18:08,817
Scumbags!
1217
01:18:09,928 --> 01:18:11,346
Hey, Chuck!
1218
01:18:12,430 --> 01:18:16,059
It's good to see you, too,
but first things first, huh?
1219
01:18:16,393 --> 01:18:18,979
Now, where is he?
Where's Irwin, Chuck?
1220
01:18:19,385 --> 01:18:20,779
[MOANING]
1221
01:18:20,939 --> 01:18:23,108
Oh, my God!
They killed him!
1222
01:18:23,275 --> 01:18:26,319
No, they haven't killed him,
but he's... He's...
1223
01:18:27,237 --> 01:18:28,905
He's lying on the ground somewhere!
1224
01:18:28,989 --> 01:18:30,115
Right, Chuck?
1225
01:18:30,198 --> 01:18:32,784
No, on the nose!
1226
01:18:32,868 --> 01:18:35,370
But where is Irwin now, Chuck?
Where is he now?
1227
01:18:42,502 --> 01:18:44,504
He's trying to
get into the wet bag.
1228
01:18:44,671 --> 01:18:48,133
- Wet bag, dirtbag, douchebag...
- Bag lady?
1229
01:18:51,761 --> 01:18:53,513
He's got a bone...
1230
01:18:53,763 --> 01:18:55,182
Oh, my God!
1231
01:18:55,307 --> 01:18:57,119
They cut him into steaks!
1232
01:19:00,145 --> 01:19:02,689
They haven't cut him into steaks,
they've, uh, uh...
1233
01:19:02,772 --> 01:19:05,650
They staked him to the ground!
1234
01:19:05,734 --> 01:19:08,487
Where is he, Chuck?
Where is Irwin now?
1235
01:19:09,321 --> 01:19:10,822
Chuck, that's my jacket!
1236
01:19:10,906 --> 01:19:13,098
He's trying to tell us something!
1237
01:19:15,880 --> 01:19:17,237
They plucked him!
1238
01:19:21,291 --> 01:19:22,501
I'm trying.
1239
01:19:22,584 --> 01:19:25,545
They haven't plucked him,
it's something to do with...
1240
01:19:25,629 --> 01:19:26,838
Feathers! Feathers!
1241
01:19:26,922 --> 01:19:29,680
No, those aren't feathers!
That's down!
1242
01:19:29,841 --> 01:19:31,885
Down! Down! Alright!
1243
01:19:32,093 --> 01:19:34,638
Down something.
They've got Irwin down something.
1244
01:19:34,721 --> 01:19:36,890
Come on, Chuck, where?
Give us another clue, quick!
1245
01:19:36,973 --> 01:19:38,200
Chuck, how many syllables?
1246
01:19:38,239 --> 01:19:39,293
[BARK, BARK]
1247
01:19:39,351 --> 01:19:41,767
- Two!
- Two syllables!
1248
01:19:44,689 --> 01:19:47,928
God! They cut out his liver!
1249
01:19:50,403 --> 01:19:53,198
Down... Down...
Down liver... Uh...
1250
01:19:53,949 --> 01:19:55,245
I've got it!
I've got it!
1251
01:19:55,295 --> 01:19:56,295
ALL:
What?
1252
01:19:56,339 --> 01:19:59,376
"Down liver," that's Japanese
for "downriver"!
1253
01:20:04,167 --> 01:20:05,418
Alright, Chuck!
1254
01:20:07,420 --> 01:20:08,630
Those were great clues.
1255
01:20:08,713 --> 01:20:10,257
I thought they were kinda hard.
1256
01:20:12,663 --> 01:20:13,689
[WHISTLES]
1257
01:20:17,180 --> 01:20:20,308
My sweet boom-boom maker.
1258
01:20:30,944 --> 01:20:32,696
Where's your doggie?
1259
01:20:32,779 --> 01:20:34,155
Look, I think there's been some mistake.
1260
01:20:34,239 --> 01:20:36,283
Where's your underwear?
1261
01:20:36,366 --> 01:20:38,326
I don't know.
The dog ran off...
1262
01:20:38,410 --> 01:20:39,953
Don't wanna cooperate, huh?
1263
01:20:40,032 --> 01:20:41,561
[STAMMERING]
1264
01:20:41,830 --> 01:20:43,415
That's okay.
1265
01:20:44,124 --> 01:20:46,595
Your time is up anyway.
1266
01:20:48,086 --> 01:20:49,796
Say your prayers,
1267
01:20:49,921 --> 01:20:53,517
you pinko commie slime!
1268
01:20:54,426 --> 01:20:55,635
Slime?
1269
01:20:56,428 --> 01:20:58,711
No shooting with the gun, please!
1270
01:20:58,972 --> 01:21:01,119
Oh, look,
if we can talk about this...
1271
01:21:06,896 --> 01:21:09,080
Oh, hi, guys.
Glad you could stop by.
1272
01:21:11,109 --> 01:21:12,819
Well, well, well.
1273
01:21:13,528 --> 01:21:15,987
You finally decided
to show your face, eh?
1274
01:21:16,034 --> 01:21:17,034
M-hm.
1275
01:21:17,365 --> 01:21:19,200
Well, you walked
right into my little trap,
1276
01:21:19,284 --> 01:21:21,917
and you'll never get out alive.
1277
01:21:26,330 --> 01:21:27,518
Uh-oh!
1278
01:21:29,586 --> 01:21:31,046
Be my guest.
1279
01:21:35,550 --> 01:21:37,093
Take my money!
Anything you want! No, anything!
1280
01:21:37,177 --> 01:21:39,638
Go ahead, just ask me,
I'll tell you anything! Anything!
1281
01:21:39,971 --> 01:21:41,639
I'd like to know
what he did with my pants.
1282
01:21:46,936 --> 01:21:48,980
Good for you.
Son of a bitch.
1283
01:21:50,357 --> 01:21:51,566
Irwin!
1284
01:21:52,067 --> 01:21:54,090
Just in time to turn me over.
1285
01:21:56,196 --> 01:21:58,865
What's he doing?
He should be here by now!
1286
01:22:00,075 --> 01:22:01,284
Johnson,
1287
01:22:01,368 --> 01:22:02,827
go get Captain Braverman.
1288
01:22:02,911 --> 01:22:05,413
You go get him.
I don't miss him.
1289
01:22:05,538 --> 01:22:07,665
Johnson, you see this?
You know what this means?
1290
01:22:07,749 --> 01:22:09,559
Hey, you see this, sparky?
1291
01:22:09,593 --> 01:22:12,310
[IMITATES COUNTRY TWANG]
You know what this means, huh?
1292
01:22:14,506 --> 01:22:16,091
What do you got there, Chuck?
1293
01:22:16,174 --> 01:22:17,634
What is that?
1294
01:22:17,717 --> 01:22:20,449
Oh, laughing gas.
1295
01:22:22,110 --> 01:22:24,608
ALL:
Whoa!
1296
01:22:29,270 --> 01:22:31,722
Men? Men!
1297
01:22:34,109 --> 01:22:35,985
The enemy is upon us!
1298
01:22:37,278 --> 01:22:38,655
Charge!
1299
01:22:40,615 --> 01:22:41,783
Gosh, is he dead?
1300
01:22:41,866 --> 01:22:43,868
I sure as hell hope so.
1301
01:22:50,452 --> 01:22:53,319
[COUGHING AND LAUGHING]
1302
01:23:03,888 --> 01:23:05,265
That one, right there!
1303
01:23:05,348 --> 01:23:07,235
You get him, we'll take the others.
1304
01:23:14,184 --> 01:23:16,747
[PUNCHING SOUNDS]
1305
01:23:18,319 --> 01:23:21,573
There's nothing like the peace
and quiet of the wilderness.
1306
01:23:21,656 --> 01:23:22,741
Shall we go?
1307
01:23:22,824 --> 01:23:24,295
- I think we should.
- Absolutely.
1308
01:23:26,536 --> 01:23:28,216
Hey, guys,
where you been?
1309
01:23:28,329 --> 01:23:29,914
Taking care of
a little unfinished business.
1310
01:23:29,998 --> 01:23:31,332
You know, returning a favor.
1311
01:23:31,416 --> 01:23:33,376
Irwin, you look good!
1312
01:23:33,460 --> 01:23:35,471
I feel good. Can't complain.
1313
01:23:35,795 --> 01:23:37,380
Guys, guys...
1314
01:23:37,464 --> 01:23:38,882
Enough of this hearts and flowers stuff.
1315
01:23:38,965 --> 01:23:41,987
What do you say
we win this race for us?
1316
01:23:45,346 --> 01:23:48,016
No, no. You dickhead.
1317
01:23:48,099 --> 01:23:51,519
You weren't supposed to get it engraved
until after they cross the finish line.
1318
01:23:51,603 --> 01:23:52,687
Now hide it.
1319
01:23:57,984 --> 01:23:59,828
Five minutes,
ladies and gentlemen.
1320
01:24:00,987 --> 01:24:04,263
Five minutes and counting.
Any bets?
1321
01:24:09,078 --> 01:24:10,455
Keep it steady.
1322
01:24:10,538 --> 01:24:11,915
That's it.
1323
01:24:13,124 --> 01:24:16,294
You know, guys, I can see it all now.
1324
01:24:16,544 --> 01:24:17,921
All of us being
carried around the square
1325
01:24:18,004 --> 01:24:19,964
on the shoulders
of cheering hordes.
1326
01:24:20,048 --> 01:24:23,801
Co-eds beating down our doors,
chaining themselves to our beds.
1327
01:24:25,094 --> 01:24:27,388
We're gonna get laid
for six months off this one.
1328
01:24:27,680 --> 01:24:30,916
Are you kidding? We're gonna be inducted
into the stud hall of fame.
1329
01:24:31,184 --> 01:24:33,144
I thought we already were.
I know I am.
1330
01:24:33,269 --> 01:24:35,146
You're such an animal.
1331
01:24:35,230 --> 01:24:37,324
Come on!
Forward, men, let's do it!
1332
01:24:37,774 --> 01:24:39,275
Move! Let's go.
1333
01:24:39,359 --> 01:24:41,069
Hard forward, that's it.
1334
01:24:41,152 --> 01:24:42,412
Keep it steady.
1335
01:25:09,597 --> 01:25:10,849
Powers.
1336
01:25:11,933 --> 01:25:14,984
Powers... The plunger.
1337
01:25:15,853 --> 01:25:19,950
Blow it!
That's an order, bean head!
1338
01:25:50,430 --> 01:25:52,015
Stroke! Stroke!
1339
01:25:52,098 --> 01:25:53,933
Come on, forward!
1340
01:25:54,392 --> 01:25:56,864
So long, jerks!
1341
01:26:12,243 --> 01:26:13,286
Go! Go!
1342
01:26:13,369 --> 01:26:14,787
Go! Go!
1343
01:26:21,419 --> 01:26:24,468
Oh, God! You give great vibes.
1344
01:26:48,571 --> 01:26:49,874
Where's the river?
1345
01:26:55,912 --> 01:26:57,309
There's the river!
1346
01:26:58,748 --> 01:26:59,916
My God!
1347
01:26:59,999 --> 01:27:02,168
Back paddle!
Back paddle!
1348
01:27:36,244 --> 01:27:37,768
We did it! Come on!
1349
01:27:37,996 --> 01:27:40,770
Another victory for the Mighty Crimson!
1350
01:27:54,345 --> 01:27:55,680
Let's get out of here!
1351
01:28:01,310 --> 01:28:04,280
Oh, I think maybe
your toilet's overflowing.
1352
01:29:23,017 --> 01:29:24,700
Cocktails, anyone?
1353
01:29:35,738 --> 01:29:38,074
There's Ivy!
There's Ivy!
1354
01:29:41,536 --> 01:29:43,084
There's the finish line!
1355
01:29:44,580 --> 01:29:48,307
Let's go! Let's go!
Let's go!
1356
01:29:57,802 --> 01:29:59,486
Come on, you guys!
1357
01:30:00,054 --> 01:30:01,571
See ya, Ivy!
1358
01:30:02,557 --> 01:30:04,100
They can't do that!
1359
01:30:04,183 --> 01:30:06,399
- That's cheating!
- They can't do that!
1360
01:30:10,314 --> 01:30:11,618
Yeah!
1361
01:30:23,327 --> 01:30:25,162
Team Lepetomane!
1362
01:30:25,538 --> 01:30:26,834
We did it!
1363
01:30:30,168 --> 01:30:31,685
Congratulations.
1364
01:30:47,214 --> 01:30:49,081
[TICKING]
1365
01:31:00,740 --> 01:31:02,116
Tell me,
1366
01:31:02,700 --> 01:31:04,619
was it as good for you
1367
01:31:04,785 --> 01:31:07,584
as it was for me that time?
1368
01:31:07,872 --> 01:31:09,874
- No.
- No?
1369
01:31:12,919 --> 01:31:14,568
It was better.
1370
01:31:21,397 --> 01:31:23,479
[WHINES AND BARKS]
1371
01:31:30,811 --> 01:31:31,979
Bob...
1372
01:31:33,022 --> 01:31:35,412
How big could it really be?
1373
01:31:38,069 --> 01:31:40,288
Well, let's find out.
1374
01:31:56,045 --> 01:31:58,339
♪ I'm up the creek ♪
1375
01:31:59,757 --> 01:32:02,343
♪ I'm up the creek ♪
1376
01:32:14,730 --> 01:32:18,401
♪ Just like the one that got away ♪
1377
01:32:18,776 --> 01:32:21,278
♪ So close and yet so far ♪
1378
01:32:22,196 --> 01:32:24,949
♪ I threw my hook into the water ♪
1379
01:32:25,032 --> 01:32:27,702
♪ I nearly caught her ♪
1380
01:32:27,785 --> 01:32:29,161
♪ How bizarre ♪
1381
01:32:29,245 --> 01:32:31,664
♪ Now I'm up the creek ♪
1382
01:32:31,747 --> 01:32:33,582
♪ Though I have lost a little pride ♪
1383
01:32:33,666 --> 01:32:35,418
♪ I'm up the creek ♪
1384
01:32:35,501 --> 01:32:37,962
♪ I know that time is on my side ♪
1385
01:32:38,045 --> 01:32:39,338
♪ I'm up the creek ♪
1386
01:32:39,422 --> 01:32:41,340
♪ Though you have pulled the plug on me ♪
1387
01:32:41,424 --> 01:32:42,883
♪ I'm up the creek ♪
1388
01:32:42,967 --> 01:32:44,802
♪ There's more than one fish in the sea ♪
1389
01:32:44,885 --> 01:32:46,679
♪ I'm not about to let it be ♪
1390
01:32:46,762 --> 01:32:48,806
♪ I know that I am up the creek ♪
1391
01:32:50,433 --> 01:32:52,059
♪ Hey! Hey! ♪
1392
01:32:56,188 --> 01:32:59,066
♪ The foreign legion's always there ♪
1393
01:32:59,775 --> 01:33:02,278
♪ I need a holiday ♪
1394
01:33:03,404 --> 01:33:06,073
♪ Daydream in the desert ♪
1395
01:33:06,157 --> 01:33:08,576
♪ With no pressure ♪
1396
01:33:08,659 --> 01:33:12,538
♪ That's the way
'cause I'm up the creek ♪
1397
01:33:12,621 --> 01:33:14,540
♪ Though I have lost a little drive ♪
1398
01:33:14,623 --> 01:33:16,375
♪ I'm up the creek ♪
1399
01:33:16,459 --> 01:33:18,210
♪ I know that time is on my side ♪
1400
01:33:18,294 --> 01:33:20,046
♪ I'm up the creek ♪
1401
01:33:20,129 --> 01:33:21,839
♪ Though you have pulled the plug on me ♪
1402
01:33:21,922 --> 01:33:23,841
♪ I'm up the creek ♪
1403
01:33:23,924 --> 01:33:25,718
♪ There's more than one fish in the sea ♪
1404
01:33:25,801 --> 01:33:27,595
♪ I'm not about to let it be ♪
1405
01:33:27,678 --> 01:33:30,056
♪ I know that I'm up the creek ♪
1406
01:33:32,725 --> 01:33:34,685
♪ I'm up the creek ♪
1407
01:33:34,769 --> 01:33:36,395
♪ Without a paddle ♪
1408
01:33:36,479 --> 01:33:38,230
♪ I'm up the creek ♪
1409
01:33:38,314 --> 01:33:41,233
♪ But that don't matter at all ♪
1410
01:33:42,651 --> 01:33:46,155
♪ No matter at all ♪
1411
01:33:47,448 --> 01:33:49,241
♪ I'm up the creek ♪
1412
01:33:49,325 --> 01:33:51,035
♪ Without a paddle ♪
1413
01:33:51,118 --> 01:33:53,037
♪ I'm up the creek ♪
1414
01:33:53,120 --> 01:33:56,165
♪ I'm learning to paddle it all ♪
1415
01:33:57,958 --> 01:34:02,004
♪ Paddle it all ♪
1416
01:34:04,924 --> 01:34:06,425
♪ Hey! Hey! ♪
1417
01:34:10,262 --> 01:34:14,934
♪ I'm up the creek ♪
1418
01:34:17,603 --> 01:34:22,191
♪ I'm up the creek ♪
1419
01:34:24,944 --> 01:34:29,573
♪ I'm up the creek ♪
1420
01:34:29,657 --> 01:34:32,535
♪ Here I go!
You want to go? ♪
1421
01:34:32,618 --> 01:34:36,914
♪ I'm up the creek ♪
1422
01:34:36,997 --> 01:34:39,875
♪ Help me! Help me! Help me! ♪
1423
01:34:39,959 --> 01:34:44,588
♪ I'm up the creek ♪
1424
01:34:47,299 --> 01:34:51,929
♪ I'm up the creek ♪
1425
01:34:52,012 --> 01:34:55,599
♪ Watch it! Wow! ♪
1426
01:34:58,477 --> 01:35:02,356
♪ The foreign legion's always there ♪
1427
01:35:02,439 --> 01:35:04,984
♪ I need a holiday ♪
1428
01:35:06,152 --> 01:35:08,821
♪ Daydream in the desert ♪
1429
01:35:08,904 --> 01:35:11,449
♪ With no pressure ♪
1430
01:35:11,532 --> 01:35:15,494
♪ That's the way
'cause I'm up the creek ♪
1431
01:35:15,578 --> 01:35:17,621
♪ Though I have lost a little drive ♪
1432
01:35:17,705 --> 01:35:19,373
♪ I'm up the creek ♪
1433
01:35:19,457 --> 01:35:21,709
♪ I know that time is on my side ♪
1434
01:35:21,792 --> 01:35:23,002
♪ I'm up the creek ♪
1435
01:35:23,085 --> 01:35:24,920
♪ Though you have pulled the plug on me ♪
1436
01:35:25,004 --> 01:35:26,589
♪ I'm up the creek ♪
1437
01:35:26,672 --> 01:35:28,465
♪ There's more than one fish in the sea ♪
1438
01:35:28,549 --> 01:35:30,301
♪ I'm not about to let it be ♪
1439
01:35:30,384 --> 01:35:32,887
♪ I know that I'm up the creek ♪
1440
01:35:35,514 --> 01:35:37,349
♪ I'm up the creek ♪
1441
01:35:37,433 --> 01:35:39,101
♪ Without a paddle ♪
1442
01:35:39,185 --> 01:35:41,103
♪ I'm up the creek... ♪
99724
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