All language subtitles for The Kentucky Fried Movie

The popcorn you're eating
has been pissed in.
Film at 11:00.

At Argon, we know that a
country which depends on oil

can't afford to run short.

But conventional drilling
is not always possible.

Now, new ways must be found
to produce crude oil.

Here at our multi-million-dollar
refinery in Fairbanks.

we're extracting 2,5 billions
of barrels of crude oil every day,

from teenagers' faces.

The crude oil can be shipped
via mammoth supertankers

in order to better utilize
our country's vast supplies

of yet untapped
natural resources.

And here in Milan, Italy,

an affiliate of Argon has
developed a way to reclaim oil

from the discarded combs
of local residents. Enough to fill

an 1,100 ft. tanker and save
60,000 gallons of valuable energy.

Back in the United States,

we've developed a way to filter
the oil from carry-out food.

An amount sufficient to supply
the entire city of Oakland

in California.
And for the future,

the promise of capturing over forty
trillion cubic feet of natural gas

has brought us to Beaumont, Texas,
and this unique recycling method.

At Argon, we're working to
keep your money.

Welcome to "A.M. Today."
I'm Barbara Duncan.

I'm Frank Bowman.

We'll see why school children
are learning faster in Louisiana.

Why trains are slower in Vermont.

We'll meet an adorable, furry
Australian friend.

And we'll take an up-close look
at the nation's newest safety craze:

Smoke detector alarms.
But first,

New York city teachers are voting
on whether to continue the strike.

Ron Butler with local affiliate W.I.L.O.

is at the convention center now
with a live report.

Ron, what's the situation?

Ron, are the teachers still voting?

We are having trouble getting that report.
We'll try back later in the program.

In the mean time, this is "A.M. Today."

It's 18 minuters after the hour,
and time for our daily debate:

Count Pointercount"
with J. Fitzsimmons and S. Hamilton.

Sheila, I guess even you
and your liberal cronies

have found the light at the end
of love

with our beloved president.

The intellectuals have been
much agitated

and now, having gotten the presidency
by exploiting the problems

they themselves have manufactured,

he has done his best to fuel their
anxieties about him.

Sheila. Will you and your pack
of bleeding heart liberals

never learn that
expanding welfare roles

only accelerate inflation

and inevitably hurt most
those they purport to help?

Why John, you old stick in the mud.

Ive been listening to that
horse shit of yours for months.

And you can take that crap
and blow it out your ass.

And for good measure,
sit on this, John.

The teachers has completed their balloting
and the decision if forthcoming.

Ron Butler, would you hazard a guess
as to the outcome for that vote?

It's 19 min after the hour,
time for our daily feature:

"The astrological report."

These reports are not intended
to foster beliefs in astrology,

but to support people who can not
take responsibility for their own lives.

If you are a Libra and hesitate
to make this big purchase,

hold on for a couple of days.

Don't forget, your
Moon is in Sagittarius.

Not the time for
reckless spending.

You Virgos can expect
an untimely death

or perhaps a tragic dismemberment
to someone close to you.

Pisces: It's a good time to
pull the plug on that machine

that's been keeping your daughter
alive the past six months.

If you are Taurus,
see your florist.

And if you are Gemini like me,
you can expect the unexpected.

I'm Joyce Wilson, your astro...

Thank you, Joyce.

With us, Judy Morton from the
San Diego Wild Animal Preserve.

Judy's been a guest in the past,
it's always been a delightful segment.

Welcome, Judy.

What have you got
for us today?

I brought an Australian gerbil,

one of the few to have
been raised in captivity.

He's tame, he won't bite?

No, he's really friendly.

They are very loveable.
His name is Oscar.

I'd like to get one of those
for my kids.

They would make great pets

except that they really do need
a wild surrounding.

Well... Oscar?

- is absolutely irresistible.

You have another surprise for us.

That's right, Frank.

The next fellow is not small,
but he certainly is cute.

At least I think so.
I have to go get him.

Go ahead.

This is always one of my
favorite segments, because

I never know quite what they
are going to bring out here.

Look what they are bringin out here!

This is Dino.

He is huge!

But don't let Dino's looks fool you,

he's gentle as a lamb, as result
of being raised in captivity.

That's why we're able
to bring him out here.

Is this a rare animal?

Yes, as a matter of fact
we're having trouble mating him.

You're having trouble
finding a female for Dino?

Not really, we have matched Dino
with several candidates,

but all efforts of reproduction
have been unsuccessful.

I can't believe it. Dino might
not be the most handsome,

but certainly a big gorilla like this...

We're not sure what
the trouble is with Dino.

It could just be shyness,

natural reluctance or
even impotence.

Impotent?

It is now 24 efter the hour,

time for the top story
with Tom Leclair.

Thank you, Barbara.

It concerns the meeting
of OPEC ministers in Teheran.

An anticipated 10% price hike
across the board...

We've finally gotten through
to Ron Butler,

And i'm told our audio is operating.
Go ahead, Ron.

The balloting has lasted three hours.

As soon as the absentees are
counted we should have the results.

Is there any hint
about a possible outcome?

I thought that the teachers
would like to return to work,

but being a Gemini,
I just never know what to expect.

More offensive than "Mandingo"

More shocking than
"Behind the Green Door"

More erotic than
"Deep Throat"

You will cream

in your jeans when you see:

recreating her classic roll.

And introducing
Susan Joyce and Nancy Reems.

Susan, this is Nancy.

Nancy, this is Susan.

The screen has never dared
to be so explicit.

Show me your nuts.

Mrs. Burke! I thought you were Dale.

People often mistake me for
my teenage daughter, Dale.

Never before has the beauty of
the sexual act

been so crassly exploited.

The bizarre story of what happens
when high school girls

are allowed to stay out after curfew.

Finally an adult motion picture
has the courage to reveal

tha truth about masturbation.

You must see:

How much is a ticket?

Three dollars.

Thank you.

You are aware that this movie
is shown in "Feel-around"?

Can I help you?

Some popcorn, please.

One dollar.

Thank you.

Come in. I am in the den.

Guess who.

Zsa Zsa Gabor.

Donald, you're always kidding.

I see you've started smoking again.

I'm on another diet.

And you didn't even
notice my perfume.

May I mix you a drink?

I propose a toast,
to you and me and the future.

Darling, I'm so sorry.

Let me get you a towel
or something.

Carol, watch where you
swing that cigarette.

Let me put this bandage on.

My poor baby.

I love to run my hands
through your hair.

And those big strong
shoulders...

And that curly hair
on your chest...

You're the only one, Carol.

What's this?

Lipstick on your collar?

Let me see!

It is lipstick on your collar!

You cheat, you...

I could kill you!

I could tear every hair of
your insensitive head.

Carol, put down that knife!

All right, Donald.

Tell me you love me
or I'll slit your throat.

I wouldn't tell you that
in a million years.

So you want to see
your own blood, Donald?

You can't scare me. I'm not afraid
of spilling my own blood.

I can't do it.

I know you wouldn't do it.

That's why I want you to marry me.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Rialto "Feel-o-rama" invites you

to stay for our next picture
"Deep Throat",

which will begin shortly.

It's hard to believe
you went to bed with a headache,

when you wake up feeling
so wonderful.

Thanks to Nytex P.M.

The pain reliever that works
while you sleep.

Nytex relaxes you.

Relieves pains from
tensions and minor discomforts.

You wake up feeling so wonderful,

refreshed and ready
to begin a new day.

It's hard to believe
you went to bed with a headache

when you wake up
feeling so wonderful.

Nytex P.M., it is hard to believe.

Hello and welcome to
"High Adventure."

I am Paul Burmaster.

With us today, the famed
adventurer and explorer,

Claude Lamont.

Claude, it's a pleasure
to have you with us.

It's a great pleasure to be here.

It's a thrill to
have someone with us

who lives such great adventures.

I live the unknown,

I love the unknown,
I am the unknown.

Claude...
Where are you living, now?

That is unknown.
I don't know.

Let me ask you about
the film we're going to see.

I understand there were
great dangers involved.

Yes, there were
great many dangers involved.

The most dangerous,
was the poisonous fish.

Poisonous fish?

Continue, it is your show.

No, you are my guest.

The poisonous fish will kill
more faster than a bullet.

In what ocean do we
find these fish?

The Atlantic and the Pacific.

What sizes are they?

Some are very large,
others very small.

That's very interesting.

Tell us, Claude,

how many men do you take
with you on these voyages?

Sometimes, we take 45 or 50 men

on a single voyage.

- That many?
- Yes.

You can just imagine
the food problems we have.

Often, we must take
enough food for three,

maybe four months at a time.

The important thing,
is to eat well

on a regular basis.

If you don't eat
well balanced meals at sea,

several things can happen.

By the way, many of you
may not know this,

but Claude Lamont has made
many humanitarian deeds.

He is a teacher of diving and
involved with several charities.

You've done work with
the great white shark.

Have you verified this idea
of distinct territories?

Not only has this idea
been substantiated,

we also can show
that few or no shark

change territories.

My guest tonight has been
famed explorer Claude Lamont.

This is Paul Burmaster,
thanking you for joining us on:

"High Adventure."

Moscow in flames.
Missiles headed toward New York.

Film at 11:00.

Actor/director,
Bill Bixby.

People must feel their best
to do their best.

So when I'm on the set
and have headache pain,

I take Sanhedrin.

Here, at the world's leading
headache clinic.

tests have proven
Sanhedrin's modern formula

provides fast, effective
relief from pain of:

headache, cold
or minor arthritic discomfort

It's safe

and effective. So the next time
you have a cold,

do what Bill Bixby does,

take Sanhedrin.
The extra strength pain reliever.

I remember the day
the girls came over for bridge club.

I was so embarrassed
because of lingering odors.

Fish for dinner last night?

Harvey's still smoking those cigars?

Christ! Did a cow shit in here?

That was a delicious dinner.

I do my best.

Welcome to
"The Wonderful World of Sex",

where together we will achieve

a new level of sexual fulfillment.

After dimming the lights, give
your partner a reassuring smile,

and a gentle kiss.

Then, move to opposite areas
of the bedroom to disrobe.

The revelation of
erogenous zones

is an enticing prelude
to sexual foreplay

Become aware of your own body

as it readies itself
for the ultimate

sensual awareness.

It is now time to approach
your love partner

placing both hands
round her waist.

Tenderly...

Moving smoothly up the torso,

slowly massaging
the erotic areas,

and gently exploring the curves

of the upper body.

Wasn't that nice?

Now you are ready to approach
the conjugal bed,

relaxing as you fill your senses,

in your world of awareness.

A this instant, the male
may whisper to the female:

A: "I love you."

B: "I need you".

or C: "I want you."

"B"

The female may respond:
"I want you now."

"I want you now."

"Recuerdos a todos."

It is now time to insert
the birth control device.

And we're back.

We are now ready to heighten
our foreplay to petting.

The male may fondle
her back and arms.

The female, if she is so inclined,

may latch on to his honker.

Now he may kiss her gently
on the face and neck,

seeking out the erogenous zones.

The kissing should be
increasingly passionate,

with both partners working into
a sexual frenzy.

One of the most frequent problems
encountered during the sexual act

is that of
premature ejaculation.

Should premature ejaculation occur,

"The Joy of Sex" album
comes equipped with

"BIG JIM SLADE".

Big Jim, tight end for Kansas City Chiefs
is outfitted with whips, chains

and a sexual appetite
that will knock your socks off.

Big Jim has satisfied women
throughout the world,

and the capital of Nebraska
is Lincoln!

Three days ago,

Russian intelligence
sent up this photograph,

clearly at least a thirty
megaton nuclear blast.

First reports from CIA
linked it with the red Chinese.

however, Radio Peking
denied the allegation.

These are the Hartz mountains of Asia.

A terrain so rugged, so traitorous,
no country will claim it.

Worse than Detroit?

I am afraid so.

Here, doctor Klahn has built
his fortress.

Klahn?

Yes. Klahn has been connected

with every sort of
nefarious activity:

Opium, weapons traffick, assassination,

motion picture distribution...

And global extortion.

Precisely. Klahn has kidnapped

the famous Chinese
nuclear physicist Ada Gronik.

And attends to use
her knowledge of atomic devices

to create a practical detonator,

with which he will then
threaten the world.

This is Butkus. Klahn's bodyguard.

He is tough and ruthless.

Here is Kwong, Klahn's chauffeur.

He is rough and toothless.

We need someone to find
an uncharted mountain,

defeat an army of killers

and come back with Ada Gronik.

I know just the man.

I hope you were paying attention.

Kick me.

What was that?

This is not a charade.

We need total concentration.

Now, once again.

This time, with feeling.

Better.

My government is prepared
to offer you 50,000 pounds,

to join Klahn's army
as our agent.

I'm afraid you underestimated me,
Mr. Pennington.

Your people and mine,
have different values.

Mr. Loo,

you must understand that the survival
of the free world is at stake.

You must understand,
Mr. Pennington,

geographical boundaries
are of no significance to me.

I owe my allegiance
to a higher source.

But you'll have the chance
to kill fifty or sixty people.

Hello. My name is Ming Chow.

You are joining a noble leader.

Gentlemen, welcome.

We are honored
to have you among us.

We are building a fighting force

of an extraordinary magnitude.

We forge our spirits

in the tradition of our ancestors.

You have our gratitude.

ADA, I HAVE COME TO RESCUE YOU

Now, bring me the prisoners!

Now, take him to be tortured.

As for my American friend,

the CIA thinks he can infiltrate

the mountain of doctor Klahn?

You can't scare me,
you slant-eyed yellow bastard!

Take him to Detroit.

No! Not Detroit!

Please! Anything but that.

This way, gentlemen. I'll
show you to your rooms.

Hello, this is doctor Klahn.
I'm not home right now.

Leave me a message
when you hear the beep.

You have our gratitude.

Come in.

I have come to rescue you.

Where do you come from?

Pennington...

How was your trip
to the mountains, Mr. Loo?

It was a very pleasant journey.

You are fortunated. The seas can
be very stormy this time of year.

I hope your accomodations are
to your liking.

Doctor Klahn has a great
sense of hospitality.

Have you ever been in
a martial arts army like this?

Not for quite some time.

I am sure you'll find
the caliber of men here

among the finest in the world.

We're building a fighting force
of extraordinary magnitude.

You honor our mountains.

We forge our spirits in the
tradition of our ancestors.

The guards will have to be bribed.
We need money.

We can waste some money,
thats no problem.

But it would be wrong!

What was that?

This is not a charade.

We need total concentration.

Try again.

I brought you a present.
Take your pick.

If you don't see anything you like...

And if you follow me,
we are now entering the Haybrick wing,

where the opium goes through
it's final processing

prior to packaging
and world wide distribution.

We manufacture enough heroine

to supply one fourth
of the world's addicts.

The tanks to your left, stores our
biological chemicals for germ warfare.

Their capacity is of 4,000 cubic liters.

To my right, is the atomic detonator,

with which the Dr Kahn intends
to threaten the entire world.

Are there any questions?

No? Good. Follow me.

We remind you to stay near the
white line, and not using flash bulbs.

A toy robot!

A toy robot?

Eat lead, sucker!

You have my gratitude.

You are a man of an
extraordinary magnitude.

Come in.

Your technique is only surpassed
by your courage, Mr. Loo.

A magnificent display of skill.

I am flattered by your curiosity.

Evidently, you are anxious
to see my operation.

Who are they?

Refuse, found in waterfront bars.

Shanghaied?

Just lost drunken men who don't know
where they are, and no longer care.

Where are we?

I don't care.

And these?

These are lost drunken men who don't
know where they are, but do care.

And these are men who know where
they are and care, but don't drink.

Where am I?
I don't know who I am!

Yeah. and I don't drink.

Guards!

- Do you care?
- No.

Put this man in cell number one,
and give him a drink.

- What do you drink?
- I don't care.

Gentlemen.

Regrettably, we have
discovered among us

am unfriendly visitor.

Mr. Loo will be punished
for his treason.

But that is not important right now.

What is important, is that my
guards have accepted bribes

and failing their duties.

Now, they must prove
themselves worthy

to remain among us.

Let us meet our guards.

Number one is a senior on Klahn's
mountain and aspires to be a chemist.

Welcome, please, Hung Well!

Number two is a real skating buff.
A warm welcome for Long Wang!

Traveling comes naturally to number three,
as he's a licensed airplane pilot.

Welcome, please, Enormous Genitals!

Guard number one,
you're out on your first date,

it is too late to see a movie.
What do you propose to do?

Well...

First, we walk on the beach
to the moonlight.

Then I play love songs
on my guitar.

And the next morning...

Butkus!

Guard number two,

if I were asleep,
and you were my alarm clock,

how would you wake me up
in the morning?

I wouldn't. I'm no ding-a-ling.

How about you, number three?

The same question?

We're building a fighting force
of extraordinary magnitude.

We forge our spirits in the same
tradition as our ancestors.

Dr. Klahn is magnificent leader.
He has our gratitude.

Let's give Dr. Klahn
a great big hand!

Are you ready for this mornings
exercise, Mr. Loo?

Not water!

I'm melting!

What a world!

It was a fighting force
of extraordinary magnitude!

Congratulations, Mr. Loo.

Your mission is a complete success.

Since you are responsible for
the death of Dr. Klahn,

you may assume the rights to the
fortress and all it's riches.

Thank you, Mr. Pennington.

But all I wanna do right now,
is to go back home.

Back to Kansas.

But my dear fellow, you had the
power to go back home all along.

I had?

All you have to do is
click your heels three times,

and say: "There's no place
like home."

There's no place like home.

Loo...

Wake up!

Auntie Em!

Toto!

I'm home at last.

You must have had a bad dream.

No, I was there.

Where were you?

On this terrible mountain

ruled by the evil Dr. Klahn.

And there were prisoners, and...

Jake was there and...

Slim, and Ben.

Maybe it was just a dream.

And quite a nasty one, young feller!

A dream of extraordinary magnitude.

- It sure was real.
- I know, dear.

But what have you learned
from all of this?

Well,

you can search all over for happiness,

but there's no need to look
any further than your own front door.

There are plenty of things you can do
in your own community.

To visit a dairy

and find out how milk is handled and
prepared for delivery.

Or plant a series of window displays
on home safety.

Or help start a library.

To discuss with your dentist how
to make your teeth more attractive.

You've just sold your last case of incense

and pestered over sixty pedestrians.

After a gruelling day,
you finally run out of leaflets.

Now it's Willer time.

Time to kick off your sandals,

and pop open a Willer.

The best taste in beer since 1892.

It's time to relax
after a tough day.

You owe yourself
the best tasting beer you can buy.

It goes down easily.

It's cool, refreshing
and far less filling.

You're only reincarnated
six or seven times in life,

so you got to reach
for all the guster you can.

"Rams" plagued by fumbles
as earthquake shatters Los Angeles.

Film at 11:00.

New from Barker Brothers,
a game for the entire family.

"Scot Free." Your team has just
assassinated the president.

Can you get away "Scot Free"?

Shake the dice and see.

Great! You found a patsy. Go again.

Bonus card.

You get Jack Ruby to kill your patsy.

That's good because
dead men don't talk.

Oh no! Abraham Sabruter
films the assassination.

Tough break. But now you go again.

And a stroke of luck,

Twenty-two witnesses

die of unnatural causes.
Now your opponent shakes again.

"Life Magazine"
buys the Sabruter film.

But, you buy "Life Magazine"

and show the frames out of sequence.

You're almost home. Now you must spin
the "Public Opinion Board."

You've got it! The public believes it.

You're "Scot Free"!
Available from Barker Brothers.

If you were thrilled by
"The Towering Inferno",

if you were terrified by
"Earthquake",

then you will be
scared shitless

by the Samuel L. Bronkowitz
production of

The most realistic depiction
of death, doom and destruction

in motion picture history.
See George Lazenby

as the architect.

This building is unsafe.

Barbara Radnitz as the nurse.

Jack Roberts as the governor.

Governor, the city is in flames,

the national guards powerless
to deal with the situation,

the dam is threatening to burst,

the airport has been
seized by terrorists,

and the nuclear plant
is about to blow any second!

Governor, what are we going to do?

Donald Sutherland as the clumsy waiter.

Larry, you can't go in there!
It's certain death!

But I've got to. For Helen's sake!

Leave her.

Come back to Montana with me.

I could no sooner
run away from her than myself.

I'm not asking you to run,
I'm asking you to face reality!

Whose reality, yours or mine?

My reality AND yours, that's whose!

What are you saying?

Leave her! Come back to Montana with me!

I could no more
run away from her than myself!

I'm not asking you to run,
I'm asking you to face reality!

Whose reality, yours or mine?

My reality AND yours, that's whose!

What are you saying?

Larry, we're going now!

Whose game?

You know damn well whose game.

Larry, we're starting the engines.

You will never forget

You know damn well what I'm saying!

In the past year,
over 800,000 Americans have died.

Despite millions of dollars in research,

death continues to be
our nation's number one killer.

Hello, I'm Henry Gibson,

speaking to you on behalf of
the United Appeal for the Dead.

So far, there is no treatment
for death's crippling effects,

still everyone can acquaint himself
with the warning signs of death:

It is also important to know
what to do when you die.

Your past contributions to this cause
has already worked wonders.

Many deserving families
have been helped.

Right now, I'd like you to
meet the Hefsteders.

Three years ago, our Johnny died.

We thought that there was no hope,
but then we discovered

the United Appeal for the Dead.

They showed us that despite
Johnny's handicap,

he could still be a useful member of
our family and the community.

Our "United Appeal for the Dead"
caseworker,

showed us that the absence
of life from Johnny's body

didn't have to mean his absence
from our daily life.

We realized the constant joy
that could be ours,

as we were able to include him
in our family activities.

The United Appeal for the Dead
turn misery into happiness.

We have them to thank for our family's
newfound togetherness.

This is Henry Gibson saying:

please, give generously
when death knocks at your door.

No pictures, please.

I said no pictures, no comments.

No pictures.

On September 22, 1957,

there occured a multi-car collision

resulting in over
55,000 dollars in damages.

Today we bring you the trial
resulting from that incident.

The litigants you will see are the
actual people involved in the accident.

As we join the preceding,
judge Coarse DeSmizer,

is about to ask Mr. Hornung to make
his opening remarks.

Mr. Hornung, you may make your
opening remarks.

If it pleases the court,
ladies and gentlemen of the jury,

it is my intention to prove here today,

that on the evening
of February 22, 1957,

Sheldon Grunwald
was driving his vehicle

on the northbound lane
of U.S. highway 30,

when the rear of his automobile
was struck from behing

by a car driven by the defendant,

Mile Rita Filagree.

In conclusion, your Honor,
I would like the jury

to listen to a tape.

Hey, Wally, being in court
is really neat stuff.

Knock it off! I don't want
the judge to yell at us.

Are you prepared with your case?

Yes I am, your Honor.

Then call your first witness.

The number of a Sheldon Gunwald.

That's me.

Nevermind, operator, I found him myself.

Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth,

the whole truth,
and nothing but the truth?

I do.

You've made me so happy!

We will tell you only that Mr. Grunwald
is salaried, deals in a service,

and we'll start the questioning
with Mr. Hornung.

Mr. Grunwald, would I be more likely
to use your service

than... let's say, my wife?

That's five down,
and forty-five to go.

I think I'll pass to Arlene.

Sorry, we're running short of time.
We'll flip all the cards now..

And I'll tell you that, in fact,
Mr. Grunwald is a spoon.

Mr. Grunwald,

in addition to your
occupation as a spool...

No, spoon!

Ah yes, spoon.

Of course, "spool"
doesn't make much sense.

Mr. Grunwald, in addition
to your occupation as a spoon,

is it not true that
you are a driving instructor?

No.

- Then it is true?
- Yes.

That you're not
a driving instructor?

No.

Your Honor, I object
to this line of questioning.

Overruled.

Very well, then.
I'd like some time to go over my briefs.

Please.

They're fine.

Your witness, council.

Please state your first name.

Sheldon.

Mr. Grunwald,

what does ... that exactly mean?

Happy birthday to you...

Happy birthday dear - Sheldon.

Mr. Grunwald,

would you kindly tell the court
the fabric of which your shirt is made?

Objection! That shirt is immaterial.

Sustained.

Very well, then.

Mr. Grunwald, please follow
me to the south end of the courtroom.

Objection! The council
is leading the witness.

Sustained.

Mr. Hornung, Mr. Taylor,
approach the bench.

While the judge conferres
with the attorneys,

let's pause for this brief message.

What is our little skeptic
doing today?

She's frying the cat
in pure Nesson oil.

The judge will ask Mr. Hornung
to show relevance.

Mr. Hornung, you are going to
have to show relevance.

Not only will I show relevance,

I will show how these facts
relate to the case.

I call to the stand,

Miss Rita Filagree.

As everybody expected,
a surprise witness.

Miss Filagree was a passenger
in the Grunwald vehicle,

but was pronounced
dead at the scene.

I do.

Miss Filagree, as a passenger
in the Grunwald vehicle,

can you identify the man
driving the blue Buick?

Yes.

Is he in this courtroom right now?

Yes!

Can you point him out to me?

I can't do it.

I just can't do it.

Young lady, are you familiar with the
penal codes in this State?

You would not cry, if you were just
getting yelled at, would you, Wally?

Heck no, Beef!
But girls are different.

If a guy cried, everybody would think
he was a creep or something.

Gee, Wally. I guess you're right.

Young lady,

are you aware that to withhold evidence,

pertinent to a crime, so heinious...
- No.

- "Hineous"?
- No.

"Hin�ous."

I think it's pronounced "heenus"

No, you wouldn't say "your heenus."

No! Ladies and gentlemen,
I have it right here.

"Hyenas":

Any of a family of cowardly,
carnivorous beasts of Asia and Africa.

Hey, look, Wally.

Lay off, will you!

You see? I told you we'd get harred at.

We mean no harm to your planet.

Your Honor, the prosecution is making
a mockery of this courtroom!

All right.

He's sitting over there.

Oh, no. Him!

The bailiff is now trying to
the driver of the blue Buick.

Everybody is, of course,
anxiously awaiting

the identification
of the mystery driver.

He could blow the case wide open.

Perhaps the next person to...

That's him!

Announcer Steven McCrosky
was found guilty,

and sentenced to twenty years
in a federal penitentiary.

Stenographer Gordon Simley
had a sex change operation,

and is now a switch-hitter
for the Atlanta Braves.

Wallace and Theodore Cleaver
had their allowance suspended,

and was sent to bed without supper.

She was six feet of black dynamite.

He was a short hasidic jew.

She fought a savage battle
to stay alive in the ghetto.

He studied the Talmud at night..

While she burned the ghetto
to the ground,

he kindled the sabbath candles.

Theirs was a love of passion!

A torrid sensual lust
fueled by those who said no!

They alone dared to triumph
in a hellish inferno

of unrelenting desire.

Never before has the screen
unleashed such violent fury.

Never again will one man

and one woman defy
such incredible odds.

Together,

no one could stop them.

Whether we know it or not,

chemicals play an important
and ever increasing role

in our daily life.

One of the most widely used
chemical compounds

is zinc oxide.
This policeman,

this farmer,

and this housewife
don't realize it,

but they all depend on zinc oxide
in their daily lives.

But how do I use zinc oxide?

If it wasn't for zinc oxide,
you wouldn't have that bar of soap.

The dish towels you use every day.

Your toaster.

That brassiere you're wearing.

Your kitchen sink.

Those curtain rods.

The shelves in your refrigerator.

Metal hooks.

The heat control on your stove.

The safety catch on your son's rifle.
That fire extinguisher.

The emergency brake on your car.

All brakes.

That blanket.

How about sand?

Yes, sand.

Oh, my God!

Your husband's pacemaker.

Your artificial limb.

Yes, zinc oxide at work
in our daily life.

Watch for
"Science series number seven":

It's been said that
the test of a man's courage

is how he performs in
the face of danger.

You are gonna meet a very unique
breed of cat.

The kind of man that doesn't know
the meaning of the word "fear".

Rex Kramer, part-time airplane
mechanic, full-time daredevil.

A man willing to risk his life
for the sake of adventure.

He has to chase it, confront it,
and whip it.

Rex Kramer. Danger seeker.

Niggers!

Turn on the tv,
I think the news is on

Forget it!

Come on, turn on the tv.

Governor Billingsley goes
on trial today for extortion.

Billingsley is the fourth governor in U.S. history
to be tried for a crime while in office.

U.S. attorney Mark Fielding
is the prosecutor,

and Billingsley charges
that Fielding is trying to destroy him,

and "hand pick the next governor."

Senator John Hammond
of New Mexico says

that a report scheduled for release
next week, will embarass the CIA

and the FBI.

The report will not damage the agencies,

and recommend resignation
of any senator

who leaks secret intellegency
information.

In Detroit, top officials
of the United Rubber Workers Union,

are concentrating their
contract talks

on the big three
tire and rubber companies.

Because of the wage price freeze
three years ago,

the union didn't get a "cost
of living" clause in its contract

and this time the URW is demanding

an unlimited "cost of living" clause.

The businesses are in turmoil
and traffic is at a standstill,

as more than 500,000
Japanese railway workers

staged a three day strike
which began today.

Officials say the strike disrupted

the lifes of...

17 million city-dwellers
across Japan,

who use trains
to get to work

or to school.

Commuters are scrambled to find
alternative ways

to get to their jobs as
the traffic clogs Tokyo's streets.

Tens of thousands of
lower level employees

were forced to stay in their desks...

They camp out in desks and...

because clo...
stores were closing down.

Strike...

... there is what's happening ...

in Japan ... with those Japanese.

Prices on the stock market
softened this afternoon

from readings earlier in the day

as the pace of trading is slacking.

... tributes the stabilisation

to the recent deregulation
of foreign imports.

A tragedy struck the new
Hitchcock home development today,

when a gas explosion ripped through

their recreation center.

The explosion claimed
the life of the owner

of the development,
Mr. James Hitchcock...

and his entire family of five.

Three others were injured

and two are listed as missing.

Sudan revealed evidence, ehh,

wednesday night, that colonel
Hernando Escalante of Libya

is trying to buy fruits...
and arms... and legs...

to Uganda to assist
president Adi Amin.

Goodnight and thank you

for joining us

on "Eye Witness News."

I'm not wearing any pants.
Film at 11:00.