Original subtitles

HeIIo. BaIIoon?

Mommy, buy it forme?

- Sure. - 5 euro.

- Thanks. - Receipt?

Then no.

It's easy Iike that.

- Not the pigeons! - Let him pIay.

They carry diseases.

Cryptococcosis,

aspergiIIosis, histopIasmosis...

- BeautifuI, isn't it? - MiIan is amazing.

It'II change ourIives. Who is it?

It's Mario.

Guess where we are?

What?

I'II caII you this evening.

ProbIems at work?

Optimism, SiIvia!

- Yuck! - Darn it!

- WELCOME TO THE SOUTH -

You can't do anything?

I've been working there for15 years!

You promised!

You know I was counting on it.

I understand.

It's not fair, though.

Bye.

Shoes!

NapIes: gunfire downtown,

MinisterMaroni in visit to the regionaI capitaI.

102 deaths since the yearbegan, 1,300 in the Iast ten.

It's as if an entire viIIage were erased from the map.

- What is it? - No transferto MiIan.

What?

Someone disabIed got the job.

To Iive in MiIan, a person has to be handicapped?

They have priority, it's onIy right.

Wasn't yourfriend ''Leave it to me'' Mario heIping you?

I toId you Mario's a ciaparatt!

Daddy, what's that mean?

''Rat catcher'', good fornothing.

- What are you doing forus? - It's nobody's fauIt.

We're not going to Grandma and Grandpa's in MiIan?

You'II go the American SchooI anyway, yourmotherwiII take you,

if it were up to yourfather... Then university in MiIan,

you'II become a Iawyer, get married and buy a house

in MiIan's biggest square!

- Or stay here and marry Pina. - Who's she?

The daughter of the pizza maker at ''The Reef''.

She's not bad Iooking.

Know how much herfather puts in his account every month?

Fish sticks!

Fish sticks, again.

- What's Pina Iike? - A monster.

Are you crazy?

Did they see you come in?

We work at the Post Office, not the CIA!

- Quiet, I'm running a huge risk! - What?

I've been busting my ass in HicksviIIe for15 years.

Don't shout orwe're screwed!

HeIp me, orSiIvia won't taIk to me anymore.

There's another opening in MiIan.

In a month the manager in Via VaIparaiso is retiring.

- I have to get thatjob. - Loweryourvoice!

- There. - There, what?

Is it him?

- The Director?. - Shut up!

No, I'm not busy.

AIright.

I didn't mean you.

The Directorwants to see me.

If we say I'm handicapped?

Are you nuts?

What can I Iose?

If they find out, you're dead.

- But they aII do it! - Coming!

Thank you sir, goodbye.

Pardon me.

Get the butter and broth ready, then ceIery, carrot and onion.

- GUARDIAN MOMS -

Then the cabbage and the scraped pork rind.

Kids, the area for coupIes is on the other side.

Stop, he's my husband!

We got the transferto MiIan!

ReaIIy?

Mr. Manager, sir?.

An inspector's Iooking foryou.

- What inspector?. - From the CentraI Office.

- It's about yourtransfer. - Have him wait a moment.

To MiIan!

Damn, I shouId have tried it first.

- HeIIo, AIberto CoIombo. - Borghetti.

You wanted to see me?

I'd Iike to check a few detaiIs

on yourtransfer appIication.

WouId you Iike heIp?

It's kids, aIways sIashing the tires.

PIease sit down.

What can I do foryou?

How Iong have you been disabIed?

It's not easy to taIk about.

I was very young.

The memory is bIurred.

It's terribIe to reIive that trauma.

MuscIe spasms.

Done.

PIease, go on.

There are two transfer appIications in yourname.

A recent one for a person with reduced mobiIity

and another six months ago in which the appIicant is normaI.

Are you the same person?

They're both mine.

I did the one as a heaIthy person...

because I wanted my appIication

to be considered Iike aII the others.

It's important to see in a ''normaI'' person's eyes

something otherthan pity.

- That's quite honorabIe. - Thank you.

But if this compromises my transfer...

It's a simpIe but necessary check, because often

peopIe make faIse statements to get a position in MiIan.

It happens very often.

It's shamefuI.

But that's not your case, you'II be fine in MiIan.

Thank you.

I won't botheryou any further.

No bother at aII. Goodbye.

You're totaIIy out of it.

- We're friends. - No way!

I'm no friend of ajerk who pIays handicapped.

I did it forSiIvia.

- Sit down. - I'm sorry.

I have some good news and some bad.

- I've been suspended? - Worse.

- Fired? - Worse.

What couId be worse?

Transferred to the South.

- Like BoIogna? - No, South.

- Don't say Rome! - No, much further south.

- SiciIy? - No, before that comes Campania.

NearNapIes.

That's horrific!

You start on Monday.

I have no Iightweight cIothes, orwhere to sIeep.

There's an apartment forthe manager.

- Where are they sending me? - To CasteIIabate.

- And the good news? - That's it.

- The bad? - You'II be there fortwo years.

- Minimum. - Two years in NapIes!

It's eitherthe South, orfired for serious offences!

Two years in NapIes, it'II kiII me!

Now, go!

- I'm sorry. - How do I teII SiIvia?

You can't do this to me.

I've tried everything.

- Mr. Manager, sir... - HeIIo, pIease come in.

- Hi, dear. - HeIIo, sweetheart.

- Hi, Daddy! - Hi, Chicco.

- Time to eat? - Yes, it's ready.

The apartment nearmy foIks...

Mom wrote down the names on the intercom.

Esposito, CoppoIa, Wang, Ahmed, Beretta, Capuozzo.

They're aImost aII from the deep South, I'd forget it.

They're not sending me to MiIan anymore anyway.

Dinner?.

Anotherhandicapped person roIIed overus?

They found me something a Iot better.

- Where? - In Ch�teau de I'Abb�.

CasteIIabate, a charming IocaIity nearNapIes.

- Terrific, isn't it? - What?

- Terrific, isn't it? - Before that.

- Charming IocaIity? - Afterthat.

NearNapIes.

NapIes?

To get the position in MiIan I passed myseIf off as disabIed.

You passed yourseIf off...

What ajack...

What ajackass!

I can't beIieve I married such a...

Jackass! You go down there aIone!

Chicco, pajamas, to bed.

Jackass...

Mommy, I'm scared of Ch�teau de I'Abb�!

- ILLUSTRIOUS ACADEMY OF GORGONZOLA -

I procIaim Mr. Petazzoni iIIustrious academician of gorgonzoIa P.D.O.!

Southern ItaIy is a very bad deaI.

I know because when I was young,

my motherused to screw a shitkicker.

That's the probIem, they're aII shitkickers,

even the animaIs: cats, dogs,

cows, chickens, caIves, aII of them!

They onIy taIk shitkick and you can't understand a word.

When you think you understand, you know they're fucking with you,

they're nice to yourface, ''hospitaIity'',

but they're aII in the Camorra.

- And what heat down there! - It's hot?

Not in the winter, but in summerit hits 40�C.

So, you think it's cooIerindoors, but it's 50�C there!

It's hotterinside than out?

Yeah, those shit houses are made with asbestos.

- What's Iife Iike there? - It's pretty tough.

The ones in the Camorra Iive weII,

aII the others are wretches.

Like they say, ''See NapIes and then die.''

AvioIent death, either of choIera,

ortyphoid, with aII that trash around.

It's disgusting.

But I have a soIution forthe South:

just one huge parking Iot.

Bon app�tit.

I'm not hungry anymore.

Temperatures above 35�C: fever, shock, meningitis...

What's the temperature there?

What is it?

- What was it? - Nothing.

How hot can it get? I've got an extinguisher.

Good Iuck, Mr. CoIombo.

I hope so.

Be a good boy, do what Mommy says.

- This is foryou. - What is it?

It's a rat trap, so they don't bite yourfeet.

It's SPF 50 sunscreen, use it especiaIIy...

You're wearing yourwatch?

- Maybe to take it they'd... - You're right. What an idiot.

This too?

That's right.

LittIe guy.

WearyourIittIe hat!

It's in yourbag.

WiII Daddy be back?

Yes,

very soon.

This is AIberto CoIombo, yournew manager.

I've just Ieft.

It's 7:28 here, and there?

- 7:28. - Good.

- I shouId be there by dinner. - Are you waIkin'?

At EboIi take the coast road,

oryou'II go ''uppa'' the SaIerno-Reggio CaIabria.

UpperCaIabria? There must be some static.

I have a GPS navigator, I'II see you this evening.

I'II be 'ere.

- What? - I'II be 'ere.

Beer?.

Look, I'II caII you when I arrive.

- HeIIo, Iicense and registration. - Was I going too fast?

Too sIow, you're bIocking traffic.

My mind was wandering, I'm going to NapIes.

I've been transferred there.

I understand, I have a brotherin Kosovo.

Be carefuI foryour car and yourseIf.

In 300 meters, keep to the Ieft

and take the SaIerno-Reggio CaIabria.

Here we sit, bidin' time.

Excuse me?

Is it farto CasteIIabate?

I reckon some of 'em tumbIed up.

This road riIes you, it's aIways chock-a-bIock.

Thank you.

What kind of taIk's that?

Shitkicker!

You've arrived at your destination.

Arrived?

- VoIpe, it's me, I'm here. - Where are you?

- Can't see a bIasted.... - What pIaster?.

Look forthe street name.

HoId the Iine.

- HERE YOU DIE -

Mr. Director!

My Lord, is he dead?

What a somethin' to happen!

- Mr. Director! - VoIpe!

VoIpe Mattia, that's me.

- I'II caII an ambuIance. - No way!

Do Iike I say.

Was it bucketin' so you couIdn't turn the steerin'?

- Did I harm you a bit? - My armpit?

- I'II get my things. - Let's go.

Can I Ieave the carhere? They won't steaI it?

WeIcome to yourhouse.

There's no furniture.

Who stoIe it?

I'II report you, throw you in jaiI!

- The other directortook it. - He's a thief.

- Meantime I'II report him. - He's gone.

- Afugitive? - No, he checked out.

He popped off.

- He croaked. - I don't understand.

- Dead. - Great start!

- Take me to a hoteI. - I didn't get that.

There must be a hoteI around.

This time of year, at this hour?. You razzin' me?

Okay.

Is there much more to waIk?

Want me to carry it?

Come in.

It's kind of you to host me.

PIease, this way.

Mr. Director...

Take your shoes off.

My mother's fanaticaI about dirt.

Watch your step.

Go ahead in.

I'II camp out on the couch, I can't stay here.

I'II move the box.

I'II get you settIed, change the sheets too.

You shouIdn't...

It's moth baIIs, Mom puts them everywhere.

There are rats? Tiny mice maybe.

- Every rat's this big. - Living here?

No, they're renting next door, a one-room pIace.

Goodnight.

Thank you.

- WouId you Iike coffee? - Not at this hour.

Neverin the evenings, maybe herbaI tea.

Nevermind, it's okay.

Ajunkie.

ExpIosives!

HoIy mother, he's in the Camorra!

Mr. CoIombo!

He's dead.

What's this stink?

Mr. Director?.

What do you want?

- What do you want yourseIf. - Meaning?

Forbreakfast.

- What time is it? - 8:15.

- Tea with miIk. - How about coffee?

Mom makes great coffee.

No, aIways tea with coId miIk on the side, some toast

and a pIain yogurt, thank you.

This is yours.

- I'd put it there. - That's the chimney vent.

I didn't want to dirty anything.

There was a draft.

Mom.

- He wants tea. - Got a beIIyache?

I don't know, it puzzIed me a bit, threw me off.

I'II take care of him.

Good morning.

- Good morning. - Mr. Director.

Madame.

- Madame, how is Madame? - Who's a Madame?

Madame, how is Madame?

- Who's he taIking to? - To you.

My mom's used to ma'am, we don't use Madame here.

Sorry.

- What did I do? - That's my pIace.

This has been my mug since I was a kid.

So much, there's no need,

I aIways have tea, and maybe one sIice of toast.

You have to eat, or she'II be offended.

Eat up.

Have some sausages, the zabagIione's forme.

She makes it forme every morning with fresh eggs.

- It's dynamite! - I can imagine.

Eat something.

- Just to... - Don't you Iike it?

It's deIicious, but I don't...

Ataste.

Sausage?

A IittIe dessert?

Mom, some dessert forthe Director.

- I'm reaIIy fine as is. - Taste it.

It's good, a kind of chocoIate.

Kind of, it's caIIed bIood pudding.

It's chocoIate with pig's bIood.

- You have to eat it. - I got that.

Yourmother's right, it's not so hot here.

They toId me it was very hot here, but...

CameIs used to bring the maiI, the directorwas a Bedouin.

- Are you making fun of me? - No...

- Mattia! - How's it goin'?

This guy? Looks Iike the MicheIin man.

He's joking. He's the new director, from MiIan.

- I get it. - What?

He aIways gets things Iate.

- Buy you a coffee? - No, I have to work.

Wait, Iet me introduce two staIwart co-workers.

LittIe CostabiIe, one of our greatest empIoyees.

- WeIcome to the famous CasteIIabate. - Wait!

Big CostabiIe, a seniorworker, cIose to retirement.

Big CostabiIe and LittIe CostabiIe?

It's ourpatron saint's name, they're not reIated.

- You're from the ''nor-d''? - No, from the ''north''.

I don't know where ''nor-d'' is.

A coffee to weIcome you?

Is drinking coffee aII you do here? I've had 3 aIready!

To work!

Bye, doII, see you Iater.

HeIIo to everyone.

Shut yourmouth oryou'II be catchin' fIies.

Good morning.

Maria FIageIIo, insured maiI and financiaI services.

- You're Iate, it's 9. - We aIways open at 9.

You take Iife easy here.

- WouId you show me my office? - Of course.

What's the difference between ''nor-d'' and ''north''?

A guy tries to be poIite!

I can teII right off, this guy's a nice person,

you can see by his ears.

During office hours Iet's dress appropriateIy.

He means me.

This guy wants us to sweat bIood. You'II see.

- Who brought Maria here? - I don't know.

You forgot your snack.

I'm 35, and you stiII bring me snacks?

Wait, take a IittIe mozzareIIa.

And a piece of macaroni omeIet.

In case you get hungry...

Am I Ieaving on a trip?

- You have a tape worm. - When I was a kid!

Besides, if it eats the omeIet, the ham and the bread,

it's no IittIe tape worm, it's a tape python!

Morning, Mrs. VoIpe.

- You're stiII here? - AfuII empIoyee.

She has to go!

I understand, but why do I need this?

If you Iose it, we'II repIace it.

Don't waste time, there's a Iine forming.

Want to be here tiII nightfaII?

I'm taIking to a cIient, I can't do him Iickety spIit.

Take the toothpick out of yourmouth.

I need it so I don't stammer.

I'II handIe this man, you continue with the others.

- Mr.? - Scapece.

What can we do foryou?

I'd Iike to appIy for a Postamat.

Afriend?

Afriend of his came here and got a Postamat.

This friend gets his retirement pay accredited to his account

so he can easiIy withdraw cash.

Without sweating bIood.

Do you understand?

CouId you repeat that?

I got it!

Third window.

Come in.

- What is it? - We're cIosing forIunch.

- Want to come with us? - Where do you go?

Home, we aII Iive nearby.

- When wiII you be back? - At 3.

- Imagine that! - But we stay open untiI 6.

- Coming? - No, thank you, I'm not hungry.

I'II stay here and work.

Enjoy yourIunch.

The time wiII pass quickIy.

It's just two years.

- CostabiIe, is this yours? - No, Mr. Director.

- WouId you Iike a coffee? - Excuse me?

- What is it? - I have to get by.

You're here to Iisten to the criticaI issues I've noticed

and want to taIk about with you. Where's VoIpe?

You'II refer.

There are two urgent points: safety and working hours.

I'd Iike a steeI door and cameras inside and out.

Start time: 8 am, Iunch break from 1 pm to 2,

work ends at 5 pm.

I wish to remind you that this is ItaIy too.

Objections?

I toId you he'd make us sweat bIood.

Where's Mattia?

Maybe you don't understand how it works.

PeopIe come about 1 o'cIock, they're busy before that.

And before 4 pm nobody moves.

Robberies? Everyone knows everyone here.

With aII these stairs, how couId they everrob us?

It wouId take Tom Cruise from ''Mission: ImpossibIe''.

You deny this area has a high crime rate?

You have no perception of reaIity!

We'II get a speciaIist to evaIuate.

He was sent here orhe came by hisseIf?

And anotherthing: when you speak, I don't understand you.

Speak to me in ItaIian.

Were you sent here or did you come by yourseIf?

They sent me here to make you work.

Let's try to optimize the work.

I'm constipated.

You're pushing it.

Maria!

You couId have come a IittIe Iater!

I can drive Iike a pro, too,

taking curves with an ear on the ground.

FinaIIy Mr. VoIpe is here too.

Had to wash Mommy's dishes? AII those courses...

Aren't you feeIing weII?

Why are you Iaughing?

Know what this man did?

I invited him to my house, he Iocked himseIf in

and hid his waIIet, scared I'd steaI it.

Don't force me to report you for discipIine.

I'm shakin'.

You asked forit.

Didn't they teach you manners?

Cut it out! Stop being a cIown.

He just got here, I'd Iike to see you in his shoes,

if they treated you Iike that.

Mattia and I grew up together, he's a good kid.

- But he can't insuIt me. - He has an Oedipus compIex.

PersonaI probIems can't be dumped on others.

You won't reaIIy report him!

I can't Iet it sIip by.

It's Iike he's stiII a kid.

Go aIong, I'II Iock up.

And teII Mr. VoIpe I'm sIeeping at my house,

even on the fIoor.

Mr. Director!

Where are you going?

- Home. - It's the otherway.

We'II take you there.

- What'II you do to me? - We'II take you home.

- See you tomorrow. - No, we gotta take you inside.

HeIp!

What were you thinking?

Who's there?

- What's happened? - Why are you here?

Don't be afraid, we wanted to surprise you.

Each of us gave something.

It's make-shift, but it's okay for a start.

It's wonderfuI.

It's beautifuI.

It's so nice of aII of you, even pictures!

- HorribIe! Who's this? - My father, rest his souI.

They've done fireworks for generations.

Mattia does them too.

That's why the expIosives...

He's tops. And this is forthe curtains.

And I thought...

But I'm a IittIe sorry

that you're not sIeeping at my house.

Who'II steaI yourwaIIet now?

I don't know how to thank you.

- How much? - What are you doin'?

- We did it in friendship. - We don't even know each other!

We'II Iearn to.

I owe you one.

The curtains wiII come Iater.

There's the sea!

I hadn't reaIized.

One of these evenings I'II invite you to dinner at the sea,

to thank you.

Okay, this evening.

- But you're our guest. - I can't, my back...

Why, you eat with yourback?

Whitebait omeIet, cianfotta, cecata soup and soppressata.

Stuffed anchovies,

fusiIIi with meat sauce and white CiIentan figs.

- What? - You have to taste everything.

Why just taste? Let's eat it aII!

When it comes to eating, you're aIways first.

Come on.

A IittIe soppressata.

You even have to try the musseIs 'mpepata.

Atrumpet!

We've mixed you up.

Know what they say when someone's reaIIy mixed up?

That he mistook one thing for another.

A dick for a spigot.

It's not hard to taIk Iike us, just take off the Iast voweI.

For exampIe, banana becomes ''bana-n''.

- Sofa becomes ''so-f''. - Then it's easy.

PIate becomes ''pIa-t'', this wouId be ''for-k'',

''kni-f''.

- MaIe, ''ma-I''. - You wiped us out!

But these Ietters don't get Iost.

- We neverthrow anything out. - We recycIe.

A simpIe voweI becomes a word.

An ''E'' becomes affirmative.

An ''O'' is a warning. A guy says...

An ''I'' means go away.

And a ''U''?

The ''U'' and ''A'' are together, it's amazement.

Like when you see a beautifuI woman.

You strike it Iucky?

Orthe new director shows up from MiIan unexpectedIy...

- Try ordering a dish. - Between us sure, but...

- Try a practicaI demonstration. - It's a good idea.

Go forit!

Hurry.

- Waiter?. - He'II never come.

You have to say ''oway''.

He's here.

We'd Iike to order...

We'da Iike...

I don't understand a word, I'm Venetian, been here fortwo months.

Are you aIright? I Ieft you so many messages.

Weren't you supposed to caII as soon as you got there?

Yes, but I was in a meeting.

- I have to reorganize everything. - How are you?

Fine, they're very weIcoming.

- It's not even hot. - Stop it.

Stop Iying.

I'm yourwife,

you can teII me you're suffering.

Sure, it's tough, it's a mess here.

I knew it!

- How weII I know you. - I'II be back in two weeks.

Taste the pastiera.

- Are you aIone? - Yes.

I heard a woman's voice.

- It's Maria, my neighbor. - What's she Iike?

Short and fat, with a moustache.

- A beaver. - CIose.

We miss you.

Bye, kitten.

Attempted murder.

Good morning.

- Is this yours? - Yes.

That's 62 euro.

- Why, isn't that how it's done? - Maybe in yourtown.

Good day.

And I thought...

Trash got thrown out the window.

For convenience, we recycIe.

Today organic, Thursday paper, Saturday gIass.

Sir...

Go pIay.

Why did he fine me?

- This festivaI is very popuIar. - Saint CostabiIe is the patron.

''Here you don't die.''

It's what Joachim Murat, the French King, said.

He came here to CasteIIabate, he wrote that phrase

and then he died.

- Smart gaI, ourMaria. - Let's go.

- What? - Let's go.

These two weeks just fIew by.

Go sIow and caII when you get there.

Cut it out! What are you, his mom?

Have a good weekend.

I brought you a CD forthe trip.

- Where's Mattia? - He's been firing for an hour.

See you Monday.

- They're very different from us. - That's for sure.

You can't understand them.

Chicco's sIeeping!

- It's Iike being in Africa. - Were you threatened?

- I'd rathernot say. - What happened?

You have to teII me everything.

If you show them you've got baIIs, they run.

Don't be yourusuaI dare-deviI seIf,

I don't want to be the widow of a hero.

And they eat anything at any time.

They drink gaIIons of coffee and make you drink too.

You can't, you'II have a stroke, you can refuse.

No, you can't.

If you refuse...

Darling!

Daddy, don't go.

And don't be a hero!

In 300 meters turn Ieft

and take the SaIerno-Reggio CaIabria.

Fuck tha-t!

Overhere!

Come join us?

No, thank you, an oId injury...

- We're down one. - Just for a minute.

- I risk getting hurt. - Don't make us beg.

That was a penaIty.

It was!

I'II kick it.

Run, a bombing!

Who eIse? The MiIanese!

CouId you take my window for a minute?

This has to be sent back.

HeIIo.

Do you know my grandson Peppe?

I have to send him this, it's a sweaterI made.

I want it to get there fast, how Iong wiII it take?

- Two orthree days. - Two orthree?

And if it rains, what wiII the dearthing wear?.

ShouId he freeze to death?

Two orthree days? But it's just a smaII package.

Your grandson Peppe?

- You're taIking about Peppe? - Do you know him?

Peppe said, I quote:

''If my grandma comes, teII her she can't make sweaters,''

''she's gotta do fried dough, 'cause she does 'em great.''

But he doesn't Iike sweaters, make him a dessert.

Making sweaters isn't foryou, Peppe said so.

- Make scarves. - I don't know how.

Ma'am, come to this window.

Do you know Peppe?

Are you crazy?

What did I do?

Go home, if the director sees you...

So peacefuI.

They're aII happy to have you here.

And you, everything aIright at work?

I can't compIain.

Can I teII you something?

Why get invoIved in... You can ruin...

Are you married?

Yes, we have a beautifuI 8-year-oId son.

Yourwife didn't come.

No, because...

We'd given up on chiIdren, an incredibIe joy,

but since he was born SiIvia's become apprehensive,

depressed, if I'd brought herhere...

Why, it's depressing here? She might get overit.

Of course.

The move, schooI, packing...

An outsider coming to the South cries when he arrives and when he Ieaves.

It's true, when I came here I was upset.

- Just imagine when you Ieave! - I don't think so.

I'm fine here, but my home is up there.

I Iike the fog, the peopIe, the chaos.

Things you can't understand.

Coffee break.

- Good? - Like onIy in NapIes.

Thanks. Bye.

What's up this evening?

- It's Friday. - Aren't you going home?

- Don't you have to go North? - It's aIready Friday?

Then I'II see you on Monday.

SiIvia?

Surprise!

Hi, IittIe guy.

- See? There's ciaparatt. - Who's ciaparatt?

We invited a few friends, Iet's go.

TeII us about the heII you're going through down there.

Just Iooking at them, they seem normaI,

but in reaIity they're dark, stocky.

No one's in the office in the mornings.

About 11:30 they show up, at 2 off to the beach.

With that heat, no one wants to work.

Do the women wearG-strings undertheirbIack dresses?

- And hygiene? - They're dirty.

There was the start of a choIera epidemic!

It's endemic there.

Tomorrow I'm taking you and Chicco forvaccinations.

I've aIready had them,

the Red Cross came, you don't fooI with choIera.

I worked in the South and I have wonderfuI memories.

I feII forit!

My dearbrothers, I've brought you a smaII gift.

The ''big tit'' of BattipagIia.

That's five kiIos.

It's a quaIity mozzareIIa because it ''ooze-s miI-k''.

- What's it do? - Oozes miIk.

It needs the pause, ''ooze-s miI-k''.

Taste it, you won't be sorry.

- Acidic. - ''Acidi-c''.

Oopsy daisy!

HeIIo, Iicense and registration.

It's ourfriend from NapIes! How's it going?

TerribIe, down South aII the cops have moustaches.

I have to fine you for speeding.

Make it fast, I don't want to miss the sunset.

You know, when the sun goes down into the sea?

HeIIo Ma'am.

I came to say heIIo.

- I'II make you some good coffee. - It's not forthat.

Here you are, wouId you Iike some?

No, if I may, this time I'm bringing you something.

It's a speciaIty from my area, smeII the fragrance.

- ''Invernizzi Gim''. - It's gorgonzoIa.

- You'II Iike it. - Thank you.

It's soft gorgonzoIa, exceIIent for appetizers.

It shouId go in the fridge. I'm off.

- Wait, some coffee. - Duty caIIs.

I have to work.

You have to eat it.

What's this stink?

The MiIanese brought it, it's aII moIdy.

- That's how you eat it. - With moId?

It's MiIanese cooking, refined, it's totaIIy different.

Not Iike us, we eat stuffed peppers.

Taste it.

Try it.

What's it Iike?

But stuffed peppers too...

How about a kiss?

- I don't think so. - Gimme a kiss.

- You're hurting me. - No kiss 'cause he's here?

ProbIems?

If anyone's got probIems here, it's you, if you speak.

TeII yourma to buy somethin' bIack, she's gonna be in mournin'.

Shut up, you moron, yourma stiIIs brings you snacks.

Maybe you stiII don't get my type.

Good boy, go inside.

That cIown...

SettIe down!

- You came on a new motorbike, huh? - No, on foot.

What are you doing to my motorbike?

I'II take the personaI responsibiIity to expIain.

You take the responsibiIity, huh?

Let's take him inside.

CarefuI.

It can't go on Iike this.

Mattia gets aII worked up.

A brawI outside the office during working hours,

stoned on who-knows-what.

- Anotherreport's too much. - You defend him?

Me? Never.

But a report is useIess,

he has to change.

You know what Mattia VoIpe's reaI probIem is?

He's crazy in Iove with you.

Not a chance!

We were togetherfor a year, this is aII I have Ieft.

Why did you break up?

He never says no, not even to his mom, he neverrisks anything.

I got mad and put him to the test.

I toId him I'd asked to transfer.

And what did he do?

Nothing, sir!

- Mr. VoIpe? - Mr. Director.

What is it? You want to report me again?

Why don't you taIk to yourmother?.

- Why? - Maria toId me everything.

Mind your own business.

Okay.

Then behave properly during work hours.

Cocaine wiII never resoIve personaI probIems.

What cocaine?

The cocaine you use when you make deIiveries.

I saw you open that bag.

Sir, it's a powderforfireworks.

My nerves come from coffee.

How much do you drink?

WhereverI deIivermaiI, they offer me some, by evening I'm a wreck.

If it's just coffee, that's easy. Everything can be fixed.

Except thatjerk's motorbike.

- Want to shoot some fireworks? - Can I?

No, that's dangerous, these here, at most.

This is caIIed CrackIing Fuse,

the otheris caIIed a SparkIer, hoId it Iike this...

I'II come with you.

We can't ride doubIe.

You have to Iearn to say no.

- But I'II drive. - Do you know how?

I'm the Director! How do you start it up?

Mr. Matarazzo.

HeIIo.

- I'm the new director. - It's kind of you to come.

- Let me offeryou coffee. - No thank you, we have to go.

I open my home and you refuse my coffee?

Thank you, we don't drink coffee.

Some fruitjuice then.

This fruitjuice wiII give you new Iife.

Are you sure we can drink it?

- It's not coffee. - You're sure?

Fruitjuice.

- Good? It's nociIIo. - DeIicious.

- Next? - The Scapece house.

We'II sIide it underthe door.

No, we have to hand-deIiverit.

If they offer coffee, we'II give a MiIanese no: categoricaI.

- How much sugar?. - Two, pIease.

You say ''no, thank you.''

Got any fruitjuice?

It's Iemon juice he made himseIf.

Here's yourregistered Ietter, yourreceipt,

the juice was very good, maybe a bit strong.

It's his Postamat.

That's wonderfuI, but we have to run.

Even I didn't understand that.

Goodbye.

Good thing it was a MiIanese no!

If it was NeapoIitan, we'd have stayed for dinner?.

SorrowfuI Mother...

ImmacuIate Virgin...

DeIiverus from eviI...

Where are you goin'?

Where are we goin'?

Cyprus, a Ietterfrom Ciro.

Ciro, a Ietterfrom Cyprus.

- Want some coffee? - No, thank you.

When they say ''Want some coffee?'', ''No, thank you.''

I think I'm understanding you better.

Must be my ear.

No, you're understanding us with yourheart.

Now you're a poet.

Just a manner of speaking!

I Iove the South!

I Iove you!

We're dead, I see Saint CostabiIe!

Two fruitjuices, pIease.

Have we Iearned to say no?

Keep moving, nothing happened.

Nothing happened is what I say!

Tortora, the handcuffs!

HeIIo?

Love? I can't come tonight, maybe tomorrow.

Why?

I'm at the IocaI PoIice Station.

You were mugged?

No, I went into a bar and they arrested me.

- Why? - I went in on a motorbike!

Are you aIright?

- Have you been drinking? - No.

- You're drunk! - A IocaI fruitjuice.

I've been thinking about this, I'm coming down tomorrow.

No!

You can't, it's dangerous.

I'II show you dangerous!

My friends,

I have to taIk to you.

I'm in troubIe.

My wife arrives tomorrow.

Aren't you happy?

Sure,

but I Iied to her about my Iife here.

I tried to teII herthe truth, but she didn't beIieve me,

so I Iet herbeIieve what she wanted.

I toId herit's awfuI here.

The more she thinks I'm suffering, the nicer she treats me,

ourreIationship has improved and she's better.

I'm not sure I got it.

She's betterif you're worse?

It sounds strange, but that's it.

What did you teII her?.

I didn't get that.

Stereotypes, more orIess.

Untrue things they say up North.

Like you're somewhat basic.

SimpIetons, duII, that you gesture,

you can't be understood,

you're a bit vuIgar.

Maybe I used the terms dirty, vioIent, shitkickers.

- Shitkickers? - I did it forIove.

ForherI was a hero facing Iife courageousIy.

Don't abandon me.

I didn't even want to come here.

I was sent because I faked being handicapped!

My friends, I did it forher!

His book is on the night tabIe, he's at page 11,

he has to reach page 26, then he can sIeep.

He has to brush his teeth for at Ieast one minute.

That's the humidifier,

and not too much perfume, it dries the boy's mucous membranes,

he'II Iose his sense of smeII, as an aduIt he won't smeII a gas Ieak.

I'II go get the bag of medicines.

Mommy, I'm scared of Grandma and Grandpa!

What's this smeII? AIcohoI, again?

It's the perfume you gave me.

You're drinking perfume now?

From the train I saw a beautifuI beach nearby.

I wanted to taIk to you about that.

There's something I haven't toId you.

An informer said they're gonna kidnap you

to get access to the safe.

We have to escort you to yourhome.

Let me introduce my wife.

- A pIeasure. - Mattia.

Does he want money?

We'II incIude yourwife in the protection program.

- What's this guy want? - High-five him.

- Y'aII ain't neverbeen South? - Who's ''y'aII''?

The next time bring a TV camera,

there are Ioads of things you'II never see again,

the first is the TV camera!

What road's this?

Different, we were afraid of an ambush.

Let's get out.

Hang on.

AII cIear.

Maria FIageIIo, at the ready, it's aII okay, high-five.

FoIIow us.

That wouId be yourugIy neighborMaria?

Maria, my neighbor.

- YOU ASKED FOR IT -

Now, Scapece.

They're coming! Action!

Don't worry, we'II soon be home.

Lady, a few coins.

What are they, animaIs?

Here you win, you pIay...

They're aII crazy!

OriginaI CDs here!

- I'II kiII myseIf! - Then die!

Catch the Iady!

Morning, Iadies.

Oh, Lord!

Wait a minute.

See what you got me doin'?

You're in trainin'.

SorrowfuI Mother, ImmacuIate Virgin...

Ourmayor.

My purse!

You've got a famiIy!

Don't hurt me.

AIberto? Are you aII nuts? No!

That's what you tried to say at the station, right?

Don't move tiII further orders!

Stay away from the windows!

Keep moving.

AII cIear!

ReIax now.

I got it fixed Iast week.

What squaIor!

It's got southern exposure, sunIight.

There's tea.

I thought it was tough, but not Iike this.

Me too.

I'm gIad you came.

How can anyone Iive two years in a pIace Iike this?

The bathroom's cIogged, no water, it's disgusting!

I'm used to it, but you don't have to be.

I can't aIIow you to Iive in a pIace Iike this,

you go home tomorrow, there's a train at 9.

No, I'm yourwife.

- I'm staying here with you. - But Chicco?

- He has to become independent. - As of when?

As of now.

When we're organized,

we'II bring him here to Iive.

We're a famiIy,

we have to stay together.

It wouId be wonderfuI, but I can't aIIow it.

What's that?

It's the neighbors, they fight aII the time.

Not anymore.

HoId me.

But you Ieave tomorrow.

- Think they're asIeep? - Warrior's rest.

- Let's go home. - No, I have an idea.

We end with a bIast, Iet's burn down the town haII.

Aren't you coming?

No, I have to bodyguard his wife.

Goodnight.

Why don't you stay here?

Be serious.

It's the first time we've been aIone, even Mom's not here.

It's aII pretend here anyway, right?

Goodnight.

- Don't you think you exaggerated? - What organization!

- It went weII. - No, she wants to stay.

- In CasteIIabate? - No, nearme!

Then it can't be heIped.

- How do I expIain it was fake? - TeII herthe truth.

Now that it's working between us, I ruin everything?

You heard Iast night.

In spite of everything, she Ioves you, why not be sincere?

I don't accept advice from ajerk

who can't teII his mother he Ioves anotherwoman.

Who said!

You're no betterthan me on courage.

I'II taIk to my mom when I want.

You worry about taIking to yourwife.

So, I'II taIk to my wife and you taIk to yourmother.

DeaI?

- Lookin' for somethin'? - The Post Office.

You have to go to CasteIIabate.

- We're in CasteIIabate. - Not on yourIife.

CasteIIabate is up there.

- You're sure? - I'II take you.

SiIvia!

Mrs. CoIombo!

Here we are, I'II heIp you down.

- Thank you so much. - Goodbye.

- Hi! What faces! - We were worried.

Knowing you were around here aIone... The town's dangerous.

- It's not Iike MiIan. - Not at aII.

- Where were you? - Around.

- Here? - I was Iooking for a perfume shop.

There aren't any here, there's a town store.

- The NannineIIa. - It's not a perfume shop.

- If you ask, what'II she say? - ''No, not on yourIife.''

What can you expect, we're in the South, right?

In CasteIIabate, right?

And I'm an idiot, right?

Darling, wearthis, they might shoot you.

Think she knows?

Get out of my sight.

I tried to teII you the truth so many times!

- The aIcohoI, friends, mandoIin? - What?

It's true, choIera, threats, ''I sacrifice formy famiIy.''

- I said what you wanted to hear. - I don't get you.

We've created a strange magic, it's been better since we separated.

So, we'II continue being separated.

You have to forget about Chicco and me.

You're an unreIiabIe father.

I did it foryou!

I'II shame you aII over the whoIe Po VaIIey!

And besides, Maria doesn't seem to have a moustache!

You haven't had breakfast, your cup's here.

- I have to taIk to you. - Get me the coIander?.

- I'd Iike you to Iisten to me. - I'm Iistenin'.

- I've made a decision. - Good foryou.

Don't interrupt me, I've got the whoIe speech right here.

WiII you get me two eggs forthe zabagIione?

- SeriousIy. - I heard you.

Do you want this zabagIione?

I'II even put marsaIa in it.

MarsaIa?

- So, I'm off. - See you at the festivaI.

We won't be needing you anymore.

I'm sorry about yourwife.

That's Iife, don't worry.

- Did you taIk to yourmother?. - She understood everything.

- How do you know? - She made zabagIione.

With marsaIa, when she uses that...

She understands.

Maria's pretty, isn't she?

Too bad.

What?

She asked to be transferred, I signed it today,

I couIdn't refuse.

- Where? - Up North.

- Rome? - Furtherup.

- MiIan? - Not quite...

Pordenone.

- FriuIi region. - BeIow...

Austria.

- Why not taIk to her about it? - Later.

I've got the fireworks now, then I'II taIk to her.

The MiIanese is here, the fun's over.

- I have to taIk to you urgentIy. - About what?

Come with me. Excuse us.

What a bastard!

- Where are we going? - Wait here.

WiII you teII me what's going on?

I brought you someone who wants to say heIIo.

Later.

Now.

Okay. Go inside.

This is the radio Iinked to the square,

if you get a signaI, it's Scapece.

When he gives the order, don't do anything, caII me.

Do as I say...

- Understand? - No. - Perfect.

- What's the matter?. - Nothing.

- Nothing? - Nothing.

- Okay, then I'II Ieave. - I wanted to know...

What?

Can you confirm that FriuIi's beIow Austria?

- Why are you going to Pordenone? - Where?

Pordenone.

There's no sun, there's no sea.

There's no me.

If you have something to say, okay, if not, I'II go back to the festivaI.

Every time I have something to teII you, you gotta Ieave.

- What transfer?. - You're staying here?

Fire caIIing fuse.

HeIIo?

The music's done, they're wantin' the 'works.

I don't understand a word, couId you repeat cIearly?

I can neverunderstand a word when you taIk!

Mattia, hearme? Shoot!

- HeIIo, Mattia? - Just a minute.

AIberto?

Now I can Ieave, my best to yourIover.

- What Iover?. - AII yourIies!

It's my fauIt, but I didn't do it on purpose!

Scapece was yeIIing, but I couIdn't understand!

Stay back.

Be carefuI.

If I asked you to marry me?

No rush.

Rememberwhen we got married?

We Iived everywhere, we didn't give a damn.

We were happy because we were together.

How couId we have forgotten that?

Jackass.

Come in.

What is it?

It's foryou.

From the CentraI Office.

Two years have gone by, it was bound to come.

So?

MiIan.

You're happy, aren't you?

See you tonight.

Have a good trip.

It's aIways the same with you directors,

you come, we get used to you,

when everything's workin' smooth, you run off Iike thieves.

Goodbye.

Mamma's boy!

This is foryou.

There you go.

Eat this and as soon as you get there, caII me.

HoId this forme, Mom?

See you.

It's mine.

We'II come visit, right Mattia?

We expect you up North. AII of you, even the IittIe shitkicker.

Bye, citysIicker.

Thanks for everything.

Forwhat?

I don't know how to say it.

Knowing you has been reaIIy...

- I toId you. - What?

When an outsider comes to the South,

he cries when he arrives and when he Ieaves.

- WELCOME TO THE SOUTH -

SubtitIes by STUDIO ASCI - Crema