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1
00:00:07,325 --> 00:00:10,885
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
2
00:00:12,045 --> 00:00:15,285
- Ooh. A woman, right? Huh!
- ♪ Ooh, yeah ♪
3
00:00:15,365 --> 00:00:17,861
Fallen in love with somebody
who's got the vote this time.
4
00:00:17,885 --> 00:00:19,685
How old is she? 20?
5
00:00:19,765 --> 00:00:20,765
♪ Everything ♪
6
00:00:20,805 --> 00:00:23,045
- No, she's about 30.
- ♪ Everything ♪
7
00:00:23,125 --> 00:00:25,485
♪ Everything gon' be all right
This morning ♪
8
00:00:30,525 --> 00:00:31,765
♪ Ooh, yeah ♪
9
00:00:34,845 --> 00:00:35,845
♪ Whoo! ♪
10
00:00:37,525 --> 00:00:38,605
Do you like my tits?
11
00:00:38,685 --> 00:00:39,685
♪ Yeah... ♪
12
00:00:41,045 --> 00:00:42,765
Hello? Tits!
13
00:00:43,445 --> 00:00:45,005
Yeah. I love your tits.
14
00:00:47,085 --> 00:00:48,125
Do you wanna come on them?
15
00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:51,125
Sure. Let me just get this off.
16
00:00:52,765 --> 00:00:55,885
Actually, don't. I got a rash last time.
Let's do it from behind.
17
00:00:56,365 --> 00:00:57,365
Okay.
18
00:00:58,925 --> 00:01:00,365
♪ Hey, child... ♪
19
00:01:03,405 --> 00:01:04,405
Mm!
20
00:01:05,485 --> 00:01:07,325
♪ Don't hurt me, don't hurt me, child ♪
21
00:01:09,845 --> 00:01:12,085
I'm gonna come. Are you gonna come?
22
00:01:18,765 --> 00:01:19,845
Mm!
23
00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:27,074
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24
00:01:32,965 --> 00:01:34,885
Did you just fake it?
25
00:01:35,285 --> 00:01:36,365
Don't be stupid.
26
00:01:40,645 --> 00:01:42,261
- Why are you staring?
- Show me the condom.
27
00:01:42,285 --> 00:01:43,285
No way.
28
00:01:47,565 --> 00:01:49,045
Where's the spunk, Adam?
29
00:01:52,405 --> 00:01:57,285
♪ I've got secrets
I don't know if I can tell you ♪
30
00:01:58,685 --> 00:02:04,085
♪ I've got things to show
That no one's ever seen ♪
31
00:02:05,085 --> 00:02:08,605
♪ I've got habits that are hard to break ♪
32
00:02:08,685 --> 00:02:11,885
♪ I swear each mornin', when I wake ♪
33
00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:13,525
♪ Today's the day ♪
34
00:02:14,165 --> 00:02:16,005
♪ I'm comin' clean ♪
35
00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:22,565
♪ 'Cause I've got dreams that might not
Come to any kind of fruition ♪
36
00:02:24,365 --> 00:02:30,285
♪ I've got cracks in my facade
I may fall between ♪
37
00:02:30,845 --> 00:02:33,925
♪ I've got pictures
In the dresser drawer ♪
38
00:02:34,445 --> 00:02:39,205
♪ I whisper to the bedroom door
Today's the day ♪
39
00:02:39,885 --> 00:02:41,645
♪ I'm comin' clean ♪
40
00:02:43,085 --> 00:02:46,725
♪ I'm comin' clean ♪
41
00:02:48,445 --> 00:02:50,645
Whoa, there.
42
00:02:50,805 --> 00:02:52,445
This is not the bathroom.
43
00:02:53,565 --> 00:02:55,365
Sorry, man. I'm very sorry. I'm, uh...
44
00:02:55,445 --> 00:02:56,765
- Uh...
- Sleeping with my mother?
45
00:02:58,205 --> 00:02:59,645
Correct.
46
00:03:00,525 --> 00:03:01,765
Awkward. I'm Dan.
47
00:03:01,845 --> 00:03:03,605
- And you are...
- Otis.
48
00:03:03,805 --> 00:03:04,805
Ah...
49
00:03:05,725 --> 00:03:07,245
Don't worry. Left-handed.
50
00:03:11,445 --> 00:03:13,685
- First door on your left.
- Cheers, dude.
51
00:03:23,805 --> 00:03:25,645
- Morning, darling.
- Morning.
52
00:03:26,765 --> 00:03:28,925
- Coffee?
- I've got some.
53
00:03:29,245 --> 00:03:30,245
Toast?
54
00:03:30,565 --> 00:03:32,845
Um... Maybe...
55
00:03:32,925 --> 00:03:34,885
Uh, I've got clients in a few minutes.
56
00:03:36,565 --> 00:03:38,165
Oh, Otis, this is, um...
57
00:03:38,485 --> 00:03:39,605
We've met.
58
00:03:41,925 --> 00:03:43,805
- Coffee?
- Oh, yes, please.
59
00:03:49,525 --> 00:03:50,605
How old are you, Dan?
60
00:03:51,245 --> 00:03:52,805
How old am I... Uh, I'm 32.
61
00:03:53,765 --> 00:03:56,325
You having some kind
of preemptive midlife crisis?
62
00:03:56,685 --> 00:03:59,045
- Otis...
- Mum, he rides a motorbike.
63
00:03:59,125 --> 00:04:00,885
I'll take you for a ride in it,
if you like?
64
00:04:00,965 --> 00:04:03,045
No, thanks.
65
00:04:03,325 --> 00:04:04,885
Do you have an Oedipal complex?
66
00:04:04,965 --> 00:04:07,285
As in, you mean
do I wanna have sex with my mum?
67
00:04:07,365 --> 00:04:09,085
- Mm.
- Uh, not really.
68
00:04:09,165 --> 00:04:12,125
- It's not really my thing, that.
- Just ignore him. He's teasing you.
69
00:04:12,205 --> 00:04:14,445
Otis, it's perfectly normal
for a younger man
70
00:04:14,525 --> 00:04:17,125
to be sexually attracted
to a mature woman.
71
00:04:17,205 --> 00:04:19,885
In fact, when you stigmatize his choice,
72
00:04:19,965 --> 00:04:21,845
then you feed into an unhealthy narrative
73
00:04:21,925 --> 00:04:23,485
on masculinity in middle age.
74
00:04:23,925 --> 00:04:26,965
That's why I say you should
never date a shrink, huh?
75
00:04:27,045 --> 00:04:29,885
Sex and relationship therapist,
thank you very much.
76
00:04:31,845 --> 00:04:32,845
That's me.
77
00:04:33,205 --> 00:04:35,805
Yeah, I should probably, uh,
shoot off as well.
78
00:04:39,045 --> 00:04:40,045
- Thanks.
- Okay.
79
00:04:40,125 --> 00:04:41,565
- Mm-hm.
- Um...
80
00:04:41,645 --> 00:04:44,645
Thanks for everything, Mum.
Uh, Jean. Jean. Definitely Jean.
81
00:04:45,965 --> 00:04:46,965
Okay.
82
00:04:50,005 --> 00:04:52,205
- Hopefully see you again, then, dude.
- Yeah.
83
00:04:52,845 --> 00:04:53,885
Unlikely.
84
00:04:54,605 --> 00:04:58,805
Your mum's new boyfriend
is a big hot sticky wet dream.
85
00:04:59,205 --> 00:05:00,205
Yeah.
86
00:05:00,725 --> 00:05:01,885
Mum doesn't do boyfriends.
87
00:05:02,005 --> 00:05:04,525
Ah-ah! Are those the ones
that like to do it in animal costumes?
88
00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:07,605
No, he wants her to wear
a strap-on. She's not really into it.
89
00:05:07,965 --> 00:05:09,765
It's a classic power dynamic issue.
90
00:05:09,845 --> 00:05:12,045
Aww! I wish my mum was a sex guru.
91
00:05:12,125 --> 00:05:14,245
Trust me, you don't.
92
00:05:18,205 --> 00:05:19,205
Marjorie...
93
00:05:19,965 --> 00:05:22,085
how are you getting on with your penis?
94
00:05:23,805 --> 00:05:26,325
- I'm not hating it.
- Fantastic.
95
00:05:26,405 --> 00:05:27,765
Okay, let's proceed.
96
00:05:34,445 --> 00:05:36,125
So, did you do it?
97
00:05:37,445 --> 00:05:39,685
Don't tell me you choked again.
98
00:05:40,165 --> 00:05:41,165
Ha-ha!
99
00:05:41,285 --> 00:05:43,045
- You didn't even try.
- I've given up.
100
00:05:43,125 --> 00:05:46,085
It's too much. I don't...
I don't wanna talk about it.
101
00:05:46,165 --> 00:05:50,325
I mean, what exactly is the problem here?
I mean, can you even get a hard-on?
102
00:05:50,405 --> 00:05:53,245
Of course I can.
I'm not a fucking eunuch, all right?
103
00:05:53,325 --> 00:05:55,085
I just... I wait for them to go away.
104
00:05:55,165 --> 00:05:58,485
I don't like how it feels.
Can we drop it now, please?
105
00:05:58,565 --> 00:06:00,405
No offense, but that is super weird.
106
00:06:01,125 --> 00:06:02,125
Super weird.
107
00:06:03,485 --> 00:06:06,445
♪ Wah, wah, wah, wah-wah-wah
Wah, wah... ♪
108
00:06:09,085 --> 00:06:10,405
♪ Wah-wah-wah, wah, wah ♪
109
00:06:10,485 --> 00:06:13,925
♪ Wah, wah, wah, wah-wah-wah
Wah, wah ♪
110
00:06:14,005 --> 00:06:16,565
♪ Wah, so bad ♪
111
00:06:16,645 --> 00:06:17,965
♪ Oh ♪
112
00:06:20,045 --> 00:06:22,045
♪ Wah, wah, wah ♪
113
00:06:23,645 --> 00:06:25,645
♪ Wah, wah, wah ♪
114
00:06:31,285 --> 00:06:34,445
Oh, my God, the Untouchables have a car.
115
00:06:34,525 --> 00:06:37,645
Just when you thought they couldn't get
any more elusive, now they have wheels!
116
00:06:37,885 --> 00:06:40,301
You reckon Anwar's been workin' out?
He's lookin' extra tight.
117
00:06:40,325 --> 00:06:42,381
Just because he's
the only other gay in our year,
118
00:06:42,405 --> 00:06:44,765
- it doesn't mean you have to fancy him.
- Yeah, correction.
119
00:06:44,965 --> 00:06:46,245
Only other gay we know of.
120
00:06:46,485 --> 00:06:47,725
Could be anywhere.
121
00:06:48,405 --> 00:06:50,165
What are you lookin' at, El Pervo?
122
00:06:50,525 --> 00:06:51,525
Did you hear that?
123
00:06:51,925 --> 00:06:54,645
He spoke to me! With actual words!
124
00:06:54,725 --> 00:06:57,925
- He called you a Spanish pervert.
- Oh, this is gonna be such a good year!
125
00:06:58,005 --> 00:06:59,005
I can feel it!
126
00:07:08,165 --> 00:07:09,725
- Is that Tom Baker?
- Yup.
127
00:07:10,165 --> 00:07:13,165
Captain of the Warhammer Society.
His balls finally dropped.
128
00:07:13,525 --> 00:07:16,885
Yeah, I keep telling you, man,
everyone has had sex over the summer.
129
00:07:16,965 --> 00:07:19,325
- Everyone except you.
- And you.
130
00:07:19,405 --> 00:07:23,325
Excuse me, I gave two and a half hand jobs
to that guy I met in Butlin's.
131
00:07:23,405 --> 00:07:25,725
- Why the half?
- We got interrupted.
132
00:07:26,525 --> 00:07:28,165
Stupid surprise karaoke.
133
00:07:28,565 --> 00:07:30,565
Still, not exactly a player.
134
00:07:30,645 --> 00:07:32,805
Yeah, at least I can touch my own penis.
135
00:07:36,885 --> 00:07:38,325
I'm worried about you, man.
136
00:07:38,725 --> 00:07:39,765
Like, look around.
137
00:07:39,845 --> 00:07:42,005
Everybody's either thinking
about shagging,
138
00:07:42,485 --> 00:07:43,525
about to shag,
139
00:07:45,445 --> 00:07:46,645
or actually shagging,
140
00:07:47,125 --> 00:07:49,005
and you can't even jack your beanstalk.
141
00:07:49,085 --> 00:07:51,085
- I've got plenty of time.
- Mm, I don't know, man.
142
00:07:51,245 --> 00:07:53,925
Everything's changing round here,
and it's changing fast.
143
00:07:54,045 --> 00:07:56,525
Case in point, even Maeve Wiley's boobs
have gotten bigger,
144
00:07:56,605 --> 00:07:58,285
which I thought
was technically impossible.
145
00:07:58,325 --> 00:07:59,685
They look the same to me.
146
00:08:00,165 --> 00:08:02,125
I heard she bit Simon Furthassle
on the scrote,
147
00:08:02,645 --> 00:08:03,885
and now, it's all wonky.
148
00:08:03,965 --> 00:08:06,165
- Like a discount avocado.
- I don't think that's true.
149
00:08:06,245 --> 00:08:08,421
I heard she sucked off
12 guys in ten minutes for a dare.
150
00:08:08,445 --> 00:08:10,485
- That's definitely not true.
- What a slag.
151
00:08:10,565 --> 00:08:12,781
Look at that greasy hair.
Maybe she can't afford shampoo.
152
00:08:12,805 --> 00:08:15,205
- Or deodorant.
- Told you.
153
00:08:15,525 --> 00:08:17,165
She's basically a nympho.
154
00:08:22,645 --> 00:08:25,365
This is a new frontier,
my sexually repressed friend.
155
00:08:25,765 --> 00:08:28,645
Our chance to finally move up
the social food chain.
156
00:08:28,725 --> 00:08:30,125
We shall transform
157
00:08:30,965 --> 00:08:34,765
from lowly caterpillars into...
awesome killer whales.
158
00:08:35,805 --> 00:08:36,805
Do we have to?
159
00:08:37,085 --> 00:08:39,485
Prepare for the best two years
of our lives.
160
00:09:09,165 --> 00:09:10,165
I'm sorry.
161
00:09:10,885 --> 00:09:13,805
Thank you, Eric,
for that rendition of the school anthem.
162
00:09:14,285 --> 00:09:15,285
It was...
163
00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:16,805
adequate.
164
00:09:21,445 --> 00:09:23,725
So, just a few things to get us started.
165
00:09:23,805 --> 00:09:30,685
The toilet block behind the gymnasium
is full of asbestos, so, please, keep out.
166
00:09:30,845 --> 00:09:34,085
Running in the corridors is the scourge...
167
00:09:34,165 --> 00:09:36,446
- Told you not to do it.
- I wanted to impress Swing Band.
168
00:09:36,525 --> 00:09:40,245
...the story of
James Cairney and the pencil.
169
00:09:40,325 --> 00:09:43,525
I have spoken to his mother.
He, uh, has recovered.
170
00:09:43,605 --> 00:09:47,045
However, the mental scars still remain.
171
00:09:47,765 --> 00:09:49,405
A lesson for us all.
172
00:09:50,125 --> 00:09:51,165
Calmly moving on.
173
00:09:51,245 --> 00:09:53,845
It is my great pleasure
to introduce to you
174
00:09:53,925 --> 00:09:56,245
our brand-new head boy...
175
00:09:57,485 --> 00:09:58,645
Jackson Marchetti.
176
00:10:13,525 --> 00:10:14,645
Whoo!
177
00:10:22,965 --> 00:10:24,045
We are taking over.
178
00:10:38,085 --> 00:10:39,485
Hi, Adam.
179
00:10:40,325 --> 00:10:42,725
- Good summer?
- Shut the fuck up, Tromboner.
180
00:10:42,845 --> 00:10:43,885
Give me what you've got.
181
00:10:53,445 --> 00:10:55,525
- What's in the bag?
- My lunch.
182
00:10:55,885 --> 00:10:57,965
You know that, because you always eat it.
183
00:11:07,125 --> 00:11:09,301
- I think you forgot something.
- It's just a pencil case.
184
00:11:09,325 --> 00:11:11,485
Don't give a fuck about your pencil case.
Curly Wurly.
185
00:11:11,565 --> 00:11:13,885
Come on, man. Not my Curly Wurly.
186
00:11:15,205 --> 00:11:16,685
Give me that Curly Wurly...
187
00:11:17,605 --> 00:11:19,045
or I will break your face.
188
00:11:21,365 --> 00:11:22,365
Okay.
189
00:11:41,245 --> 00:11:42,245
Aah!
190
00:11:43,485 --> 00:11:45,205
Yeah, see you tomorrow.
191
00:11:45,285 --> 00:11:46,285
Shit biscuit.
192
00:12:11,885 --> 00:12:14,085
- Are you a complete moron?
- No, I'm not.
193
00:12:14,165 --> 00:12:15,501
That was a rhetorical question.
194
00:12:15,525 --> 00:12:16,621
- Here.
- Don't touch my shit.
195
00:12:16,645 --> 00:12:17,845
- Just trying to help.
- Don't.
196
00:12:17,965 --> 00:12:20,125
Guys! You're not supposed to run
in the hallway.
197
00:12:20,205 --> 00:12:22,525
It was my fault. Fuck off, snowflake.
198
00:12:23,405 --> 00:12:25,045
Nice rack, Wiley.
199
00:12:27,645 --> 00:12:28,805
Are you going to write me up?
200
00:12:28,845 --> 00:12:30,685
I'll let you off. This time.
201
00:12:30,765 --> 00:12:32,725
I'm eternally grateful for your kindness.
202
00:12:32,805 --> 00:12:35,605
Actually, on second thought...
203
00:12:38,245 --> 00:12:40,885
Head Boys notoriously peak too early.
I'd watch out, if I were you.
204
00:12:41,205 --> 00:12:42,205
Oh, yeah?
205
00:12:42,485 --> 00:12:44,845
I said, nice rack, Wiley.
206
00:12:47,525 --> 00:12:49,565
- Say that again.
- Nice... ra...
207
00:12:53,485 --> 00:12:55,165
You did kind of deserve that, man.
208
00:13:09,365 --> 00:13:10,925
Settle down, class.
209
00:13:11,445 --> 00:13:13,885
Settle down. Thank you.
210
00:13:13,965 --> 00:13:15,205
Ahh!
211
00:13:15,285 --> 00:13:19,485
We're jumping straight in to
the romantic world of the immortal Bard.
212
00:13:19,565 --> 00:13:21,245
Shakespeare, obviously.
213
00:13:21,325 --> 00:13:24,245
This year's first assignment
will be on As You Like It.
214
00:13:24,325 --> 00:13:27,245
Set in the fictional forest of Arden.
215
00:13:27,325 --> 00:13:30,125
Uh, nice of you to join us, Adam.
216
00:13:30,525 --> 00:13:32,205
Uh, you'll be doing presentations
217
00:13:32,285 --> 00:13:35,365
on Shakespeare's relationship
with love and disguise.
218
00:13:35,445 --> 00:13:39,405
The person you are sat next to now
will be your partner for the project.
219
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:41,365
So if you just look at your sheets,
220
00:13:41,445 --> 00:13:43,285
you're gonna go through
all the five points.
221
00:13:43,365 --> 00:13:45,045
I want you to talk in pairs.
222
00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:48,525
Please listen, right? Listening is key.
223
00:13:48,605 --> 00:13:50,845
So, um, the assignment brief, um...
224
00:13:50,925 --> 00:13:55,205
Examine the ways that Rosalind,
uh, tests Orlando's love for her
225
00:13:55,285 --> 00:13:57,085
- in act four...
- And who are you?
226
00:13:57,165 --> 00:14:01,325
- Um... I'm Otis. Yeah.
- Act four, scene one. The impression...
227
00:14:01,405 --> 00:14:04,005
- I guess we're partners for the project.
- Are you new?
228
00:14:04,085 --> 00:14:06,525
No. No, no, no.
I've been here since first year.
229
00:14:06,885 --> 00:14:08,741
- We had chemistry together...
- Explore the ways
230
00:14:08,765 --> 00:14:10,845
- Shakespeare uses witty wordplay...
- ...last term.
231
00:14:10,925 --> 00:14:13,765
- You set my desk on fire.
- ...sport and wrestling analogies...
232
00:14:13,845 --> 00:14:15,805
- Anyway.
- ...to reveal his characters' views
233
00:14:15,885 --> 00:14:19,645
- on the subject of love.
- Maybe later on we can get together.
234
00:14:19,725 --> 00:14:21,725
I know the library's open...
235
00:14:22,405 --> 00:14:24,045
I don't do after hours, new kid.
236
00:14:24,125 --> 00:14:26,421
- Uh, discuss the concepts of fortune...
- Where do you live?
237
00:14:26,445 --> 00:14:30,165
...and nature as they apply to Orlando
and, um, and Oliver.
238
00:14:30,245 --> 00:14:32,725
- 43 Ashford Street.
- Compare and contrast the relationship...
239
00:14:32,805 --> 00:14:33,845
I'll be there at 6:00.
240
00:14:33,925 --> 00:14:35,301
...Orlando with Rosalind and Celia.
241
00:14:35,325 --> 00:14:39,085
Um... If you have any questions,
please, uh, do ask.
242
00:14:39,165 --> 00:14:42,125
But what I'd like you to do is,
really, first, just mind map.
243
00:14:42,205 --> 00:14:43,805
Mind map together...
244
00:14:44,365 --> 00:14:45,445
- Um...
- Boring.
245
00:14:45,525 --> 00:14:47,765
What? Excuse me, this is boring?
246
00:14:48,205 --> 00:14:49,485
Okay, um...
247
00:14:57,085 --> 00:14:58,605
You told Adam where you live?
248
00:14:59,045 --> 00:15:00,085
He asked me.
249
00:15:00,525 --> 00:15:03,525
Dude, your mum has a lot
of weird sex shit in the house.
250
00:15:03,965 --> 00:15:05,285
I'm cool with it, obviously,
251
00:15:05,365 --> 00:15:10,045
but if that guy even sees a Kama Sutra,
he will destroy your life.
252
00:15:10,125 --> 00:15:12,325
- She won't be home.
- Oh. She better not be.
253
00:15:13,485 --> 00:15:16,045
He still calls me Tromboner.
It's been four years.
254
00:15:16,325 --> 00:15:17,485
Four years.
255
00:15:17,885 --> 00:15:21,565
You did get an erection on the stage,
in front of the entire school.
256
00:15:21,645 --> 00:15:23,005
It was a semi!
257
00:15:26,085 --> 00:15:27,965
The nickname doesn't even make sense.
258
00:15:28,645 --> 00:15:29,845
I play the French horn.
259
00:15:30,405 --> 00:15:31,765
Such a philistine.
260
00:15:31,845 --> 00:15:34,885
Look, he'll be in my house
for an hour, tops. It will be fine.
261
00:15:35,965 --> 00:15:38,845
Do you reckon his brain is so small
'cause his dick is so big?
262
00:15:39,485 --> 00:15:41,205
- That's a myth.
- Well, it's not.
263
00:15:41,525 --> 00:15:43,165
A friend of a friend saw it once.
264
00:15:43,245 --> 00:15:46,085
She said it was the size of two Coke cans.
One on top of the other.
265
00:15:46,165 --> 00:15:47,725
Length and width.
266
00:15:48,085 --> 00:15:50,885
- You don't have any friends. Except me.
- Not for long.
267
00:15:51,285 --> 00:15:54,005
Because Adam is going to kill you
in your own home.
268
00:16:01,445 --> 00:16:04,365
Do you really think this place
has asbestos in it?
269
00:16:04,525 --> 00:16:07,365
I don't know.
There's worse ways to go, I suppose.
270
00:16:07,445 --> 00:16:10,925
God, yeah. My auntie got eaten by wasps.
271
00:16:11,205 --> 00:16:13,805
What? Was she stung to death?
272
00:16:13,885 --> 00:16:14,885
No.
273
00:16:15,045 --> 00:16:16,165
She was eaten.
274
00:16:19,485 --> 00:16:21,925
Scabby Queen. I win! I win!
275
00:16:22,005 --> 00:16:24,405
No, you don't.
You have to get rid of the queen.
276
00:16:25,005 --> 00:16:27,685
- You lost, sorry.
- I still don't get this game.
277
00:16:27,765 --> 00:16:28,765
Hand them over.
278
00:16:30,325 --> 00:16:31,525
Thank you.
279
00:16:39,845 --> 00:16:42,845
- How’s it going with Knobzilla?
- He can't come.
280
00:16:44,165 --> 00:16:47,085
So, the other night,
we're, like, goin' and goin'.
281
00:16:47,165 --> 00:16:50,061
- And I'm losin' my shit.
- And I, you know...
282
00:16:50,085 --> 00:16:51,925
- Reached the summit.
- Yeah.
283
00:16:52,005 --> 00:16:54,125
But he, like...
284
00:16:54,205 --> 00:16:56,525
- Slipped and dropped the yogurt?
- No, I wish.
285
00:16:56,925 --> 00:16:57,925
He faked it.
286
00:16:58,365 --> 00:16:59,365
You sure?
287
00:17:01,445 --> 00:17:03,085
I don't know what I'm doin' wrong.
288
00:17:03,965 --> 00:17:05,541
Maybe he was nervous
or something.
289
00:17:05,565 --> 00:17:07,765
Ruby and Olivia think I should dump him.
290
00:17:07,845 --> 00:17:10,325
They say he's bringin' down
my social status, but...
291
00:17:11,125 --> 00:17:14,165
The thing is, he can be really sweet
when nobody's watchin'.
292
00:17:14,925 --> 00:17:17,005
Don't know why you listen
to those dickheads.
293
00:17:17,165 --> 00:17:18,685
If you like him, do what you want.
294
00:17:19,765 --> 00:17:20,845
Tits.
295
00:17:21,125 --> 00:17:22,365
They're looking for me.
296
00:17:23,925 --> 00:17:25,605
- Thanks for the game.
- No worries.
297
00:17:25,685 --> 00:17:26,725
And the chat.
298
00:17:29,285 --> 00:17:31,485
- Oh, and...
- Don't worry, you were never here.
299
00:17:32,045 --> 00:17:33,885
- Ta-ra, lad.
- See you later, pet.
300
00:17:38,925 --> 00:17:39,925
Hiya!
301
00:17:41,165 --> 00:17:43,005
- Where have you been?
- Nowhere.
302
00:17:43,485 --> 00:17:44,485
Biology went over.
303
00:17:44,525 --> 00:17:47,125
We thought you were doin' it
with your whale dick boyfriend.
304
00:17:47,925 --> 00:17:49,645
You know he's a delinquent, right?
305
00:17:52,045 --> 00:17:54,925
Yuck. Is that ham?
We're vegan now, remember?
306
00:17:55,005 --> 00:17:56,461
Oh, right, yeah, I forgot.
307
00:17:56,485 --> 00:17:57,685
Have you been smokin' again?
308
00:17:58,005 --> 00:17:59,405
- No, I haven't.
- Good.
309
00:17:59,485 --> 00:18:01,445
Because smoking is definitely not vegan.
310
00:18:04,725 --> 00:18:05,845
My ham.
311
00:18:12,845 --> 00:18:13,845
Have you got the money?
312
00:18:14,965 --> 00:18:16,245
You taking the piss?
313
00:18:17,285 --> 00:18:18,445
Take it or leave it.
314
00:18:27,045 --> 00:18:29,685
- Tell anyone and I'll maim you.
- This better be an A.
315
00:19:11,045 --> 00:19:13,605
- You're on time.
- How long is this gonna take, new kid?
316
00:19:13,885 --> 00:19:15,005
Well, um...
317
00:19:15,085 --> 00:19:16,245
I'm already bored.
318
00:19:19,685 --> 00:19:21,005
Have you got any Nesquik?
319
00:19:22,165 --> 00:19:23,845
On... Only Mana.
320
00:19:34,205 --> 00:19:35,445
Do you wanna get monged?
321
00:19:35,845 --> 00:19:36,845
Um...
322
00:19:37,405 --> 00:19:38,845
No, thank you.
323
00:19:47,405 --> 00:19:50,485
- Why is there a minge on your wall?
- What? Where? That's...
324
00:19:50,565 --> 00:19:51,445
Uh...
325
00:19:51,525 --> 00:19:53,125
That's just an orchid.
326
00:19:53,205 --> 00:19:54,805
It's... My mum's super into...
327
00:19:55,125 --> 00:19:56,445
flora and fauna.
328
00:19:57,885 --> 00:19:59,085
Ooh, uh...
329
00:19:59,165 --> 00:20:00,725
Maybe not inside, sorry.
330
00:20:02,805 --> 00:20:05,805
I mean, Adam, we've only been working
for half an hour, so...
331
00:20:05,885 --> 00:20:06,805
Yeah.
332
00:20:06,885 --> 00:20:08,365
You should keep goin'.
333
00:20:12,165 --> 00:20:14,085
That's it,
just rolling the testicle...
334
00:20:14,165 --> 00:20:16,925
- There's a ball bag on the TV.
- Good.
335
00:20:17,005 --> 00:20:18,885
Sorry. Sorry, I, uh...
336
00:20:19,125 --> 00:20:21,645
I forgot to take my... my DVD out.
It's my...
337
00:20:22,245 --> 00:20:24,325
- It's my porn.
- A bit old school.
338
00:20:25,885 --> 00:20:28,565
You should get on Pornhub.
There's loads of stuff on there.
339
00:20:28,845 --> 00:20:31,005
You could watch a CGI demon fuck a horse.
340
00:20:32,405 --> 00:20:34,085
- Hm.
- I need to piss.
341
00:20:35,205 --> 00:20:36,925
Upstairs, on your right.
342
00:22:05,325 --> 00:22:06,805
New kid!
343
00:22:09,325 --> 00:22:10,485
Adam?
344
00:22:11,605 --> 00:22:12,605
Get in here!
345
00:22:13,045 --> 00:22:13,925
Oh!
346
00:22:14,005 --> 00:22:15,005
Adam!
347
00:22:15,805 --> 00:22:17,005
Oh...
348
00:22:19,245 --> 00:22:20,685
- You've got a sex dungeon.
- No.
349
00:22:20,765 --> 00:22:22,325
No, this is not. I...
350
00:22:22,765 --> 00:22:26,005
I can explain. This is my mum's office
and she's a therapist.
351
00:22:26,085 --> 00:22:27,845
- Sex therapist.
- I don't know what that is.
352
00:22:28,125 --> 00:22:30,285
She helps people with sex problems.
353
00:22:30,725 --> 00:22:32,125
- She's a prostitute.
- No.
354
00:22:32,445 --> 00:22:35,325
- Like a pimp.
- No, no, she's like a... a shrink.
355
00:22:35,605 --> 00:22:38,965
But instead of talking about mental health
stuff, she talks about sex.
356
00:22:39,085 --> 00:22:40,085
People's sex lives.
357
00:22:40,925 --> 00:22:42,845
She... She helps people bone better.
358
00:22:43,605 --> 00:22:45,005
Yes, in essence.
359
00:22:47,045 --> 00:22:48,285
Look, um...
360
00:22:50,165 --> 00:22:52,245
Could you not tell anyone
about this, please?
361
00:22:52,325 --> 00:22:54,605
Otis, darling?
362
00:22:54,685 --> 00:22:56,085
I'm home!
363
00:23:08,445 --> 00:23:10,125
Mm! Mmm...
364
00:23:14,525 --> 00:23:16,925
God, that's strong stuff.
365
00:23:18,125 --> 00:23:21,205
It is chronic shit.
366
00:23:21,725 --> 00:23:23,925
I'm already hungry.
367
00:23:24,725 --> 00:23:27,445
It's snack time.
368
00:23:35,845 --> 00:23:36,845
Your mum's cool.
369
00:23:37,205 --> 00:23:38,285
Why aren't you cool?
370
00:23:39,685 --> 00:23:41,605
And she's hot.
Why didn't you say she was hot?
371
00:23:42,165 --> 00:23:43,925
Because she's my mum.
372
00:23:44,005 --> 00:23:46,965
- I mean, seriously, are you adopted?
- No.
373
00:23:47,045 --> 00:23:48,845
- Then why are you so shit?
- Adam.
374
00:23:48,925 --> 00:23:49,925
Yeah?
375
00:23:51,205 --> 00:23:52,765
Do you smoke every day?
376
00:23:53,525 --> 00:23:56,285
Yeah. Yeah, most days, Mrs., um...
377
00:23:56,365 --> 00:23:57,685
Oh, just call me Jean.
378
00:23:58,325 --> 00:24:01,085
You know, they've been doing
some interesting studies with cannabis.
379
00:24:01,485 --> 00:24:03,885
They're just starting to wake up
to its health benefits.
380
00:24:03,965 --> 00:24:05,645
Yeah? Like, um...
381
00:24:06,525 --> 00:24:08,405
How it makes everything funny?
382
00:24:08,645 --> 00:24:10,685
- You know, like your face.
- Hm?
383
00:24:10,765 --> 00:24:12,005
Ever so serious,
384
00:24:12,685 --> 00:24:14,125
like a... atlas.
385
00:24:21,845 --> 00:24:26,685
However, it has been linked
to early onset impotence.
386
00:24:27,565 --> 00:24:29,005
Nothing conclusive yet.
387
00:24:30,285 --> 00:24:32,125
But be careful
with how much you smoke.
388
00:24:32,205 --> 00:24:33,205
Mum...
389
00:24:33,605 --> 00:24:37,285
I only bring it up
because I have a number of clients
390
00:24:37,365 --> 00:24:40,125
who were heavy drug users at your age,
391
00:24:40,645 --> 00:24:43,085
and now they have trouble
with sexual performance.
392
00:24:43,765 --> 00:24:46,565
- Sexual performance?
- They have trouble finishing.
393
00:24:48,965 --> 00:24:50,605
- Ejaculation.
- Hm.
394
00:24:50,845 --> 00:24:52,365
Jizz, spunk.
395
00:24:53,245 --> 00:24:54,085
Man milk!
396
00:24:54,165 --> 00:24:56,365
- Mum, Jesus Christ!
- Don't have a problem with that.
397
00:24:56,445 --> 00:24:59,045
What makes you think
I've got a problem with that?
398
00:24:59,485 --> 00:25:01,565
I didn't say you had a problem with that.
399
00:25:03,965 --> 00:25:07,005
- But if you want to talk about it...
- I... Uh, okay, I'm gonna go.
400
00:25:07,085 --> 00:25:08,085
I'm gonna go.
401
00:25:09,805 --> 00:25:11,325
Okay, Adam!
402
00:25:12,085 --> 00:25:14,005
- Nice to meet you!
- Mum!
403
00:25:14,725 --> 00:25:16,205
Come and hang out again.
404
00:25:16,965 --> 00:25:19,765
Adam! Adam, wait. Wait.
405
00:25:19,845 --> 00:25:22,565
You and your mum are freaks.
406
00:25:31,165 --> 00:25:33,165
I hope I didn't touch a nerve.
407
00:25:33,565 --> 00:25:35,965
Your friend is very sensitive.
408
00:25:36,205 --> 00:25:37,845
Ooh, my mouth is immensely dry.
409
00:25:37,925 --> 00:25:40,045
Mum, how many times have I said
410
00:25:40,125 --> 00:25:42,845
you can't go around
therapizing people you don't know?
411
00:25:42,925 --> 00:25:45,405
Your generation is so touchy.
412
00:25:45,485 --> 00:25:48,485
- Information is empowering.
- No, it's fucked up!
413
00:25:48,685 --> 00:25:51,565
Okay, calm down, take a breath.
414
00:25:51,645 --> 00:25:54,325
Let's...
415
00:25:54,405 --> 00:25:56,485
Let the negative energy dissipate.
416
00:25:59,805 --> 00:26:01,645
Okay.
417
00:26:05,045 --> 00:26:07,045
Two...
418
00:26:10,685 --> 00:26:11,805
Sorry I yelled.
419
00:26:12,485 --> 00:26:16,365
And I'm sorry... if I upset your friend.
420
00:26:20,445 --> 00:26:21,445
Come on.
421
00:26:30,605 --> 00:26:31,685
Sweetheart...
422
00:26:35,605 --> 00:26:38,125
I've noticed
you're pretending to masturbate
423
00:26:38,205 --> 00:26:40,845
and I was wondering
if you wanted to talk about it.
424
00:26:42,405 --> 00:26:44,245
It was the hand cream that gave it away.
425
00:26:44,325 --> 00:26:47,645
And, well,
the magazine was a bit overkill.
426
00:26:48,285 --> 00:26:52,565
Anyway, I want you to know that
you can talk to me about anything.
427
00:26:52,645 --> 00:26:53,845
No judgment.
428
00:26:54,205 --> 00:26:55,765
This is a safe place.
429
00:26:55,845 --> 00:26:57,405
This is not a safe place, Mum.
430
00:26:57,485 --> 00:27:00,805
You... need to stop analyzing
everything I do.
431
00:27:02,165 --> 00:27:05,885
I will when you stop creating
performative situations
432
00:27:05,965 --> 00:27:07,725
that you clearly want me to observe.
433
00:27:07,805 --> 00:27:09,765
Okay.
434
00:27:10,925 --> 00:27:15,085
I'm going to my room, because I'm angry
and I need some space.
435
00:27:15,165 --> 00:27:17,085
Okay.
436
00:27:17,165 --> 00:27:19,165
We'll talk about it when you're ready.
437
00:27:22,405 --> 00:27:26,125
Darling! It's too loud!
438
00:27:30,205 --> 00:27:31,205
Otis!
439
00:27:32,645 --> 00:27:34,125
Turn it down!
440
00:27:34,685 --> 00:27:38,205
♪ I wasn't born in '77 ♪
441
00:27:41,525 --> 00:27:45,125
♪ When we was together ♪
442
00:27:47,405 --> 00:27:49,725
♪ Everything was so grand ♪
443
00:27:53,605 --> 00:27:56,021
- Eric, come help your mother.
- ♪ Now that we've parted ♪
444
00:27:56,045 --> 00:27:57,525
Down in a minute!
445
00:27:57,605 --> 00:27:59,245
♪ Just one sound ♪
446
00:27:59,885 --> 00:28:02,725
♪ That I just can't stand ♪
447
00:28:02,805 --> 00:28:05,725
♪ I can't stand the rain ♪
448
00:28:05,805 --> 00:28:07,765
♪ Against my window ♪
449
00:28:07,845 --> 00:28:08,845
♪ Oh ♪
450
00:28:11,005 --> 00:28:13,045
♪ Bringin' back sweet memories ♪
451
00:28:14,525 --> 00:28:16,925
- ♪ I can't stand the rain ♪
- Oh-ho-ho!
452
00:28:18,125 --> 00:28:20,125
♪ Against my window ♪
453
00:28:23,045 --> 00:28:25,125
♪ 'Cause he's not here with me ♪
454
00:28:26,725 --> 00:28:28,725
♪ Hey, rain ♪
455
00:28:29,605 --> 00:28:31,925
♪ Get off my window ♪
456
00:28:33,045 --> 00:28:34,365
Did you... you know?
457
00:28:35,085 --> 00:28:36,845
Yeah. I'd tell you if I didn't.
458
00:28:39,085 --> 00:28:41,205
- Do you want me to drive you home?
- Nope.
459
00:28:41,285 --> 00:28:42,165
Where do you live?
460
00:28:42,245 --> 00:28:44,645
- Honestly, I'm fine.
- Come on, let me drive you home.
461
00:28:44,725 --> 00:28:46,165
We're just fucking, Jackson.
462
00:28:46,285 --> 00:28:48,245
We don’t need to know
each other's postcodes.
463
00:28:48,525 --> 00:28:49,605
See you at school.
464
00:29:07,525 --> 00:29:09,245
Shh!
465
00:29:10,685 --> 00:29:11,685
Adam?
466
00:29:20,765 --> 00:29:22,445
You're five minutes past curfew.
467
00:29:23,285 --> 00:29:24,445
Sorry, Dad.
468
00:29:25,325 --> 00:29:27,765
- Lost track of time.
- Don't let it happen again.
469
00:29:29,445 --> 00:29:30,925
You know the rules.
470
00:29:39,645 --> 00:29:41,485
You can have it back in the morning.
471
00:29:50,165 --> 00:29:51,765
- Hello, lover.
- Ooh! Fuck.
472
00:29:52,365 --> 00:29:54,445
How did you get in? You've gotta go.
473
00:29:58,605 --> 00:30:00,365
Your hand's a bit dry.
474
00:30:12,445 --> 00:30:14,285
Can you not even get hard now?
475
00:30:15,285 --> 00:30:16,725
- Am I that bad?
- Yes.
476
00:30:16,805 --> 00:30:19,925
No! No, I meant no. I got confused.
477
00:30:20,565 --> 00:30:22,005
I don't know why I bother.
478
00:30:25,245 --> 00:30:26,725
Well... Leave out the window.
479
00:30:30,525 --> 00:30:31,685
Good night, Mrs. Groff.
480
00:30:32,325 --> 00:30:33,805
Good night, Headmaster Groff.
481
00:30:34,245 --> 00:30:36,165
What is wrong with you?
482
00:30:36,245 --> 00:30:37,925
Adam, get down here now!
483
00:30:46,725 --> 00:30:49,765
Your mum talked to Adam
about ejaculation?
484
00:30:49,845 --> 00:30:51,765
- She used the words "man milk."
- Oh, my...
485
00:30:51,845 --> 00:30:54,085
It's worse than I thought.
486
00:30:54,205 --> 00:30:56,525
No, I mean... I mean... It's fine.
487
00:30:56,605 --> 00:30:58,725
He was baked,
he's probably forgotten all about it.
488
00:30:59,125 --> 00:31:00,205
Shit.
489
00:31:00,285 --> 00:31:02,085
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit...
490
00:31:02,605 --> 00:31:03,605
Don't look.
491
00:31:07,005 --> 00:31:08,485
Watch where you’re going, fag.
492
00:31:08,565 --> 00:31:11,285
Hey, Adam, you know homophobia
is so 2008, right?
493
00:31:11,725 --> 00:31:12,805
Totes passé.
494
00:31:19,965 --> 00:31:20,965
Thanks, Anwar.
495
00:31:21,365 --> 00:31:22,605
- Not your friends.
- Okay.
496
00:31:24,805 --> 00:31:27,005
See? I told you he'd forget.
497
00:31:27,445 --> 00:31:28,445
Yeah...
498
00:32:05,845 --> 00:32:07,245
Yeah!
499
00:32:07,325 --> 00:32:08,325
I'm only saying.
500
00:32:29,925 --> 00:32:31,005
Great, it's you.
501
00:32:31,565 --> 00:32:33,605
I get it. You're mean.
502
00:32:34,645 --> 00:32:35,765
Okay, so...
503
00:32:36,485 --> 00:32:38,085
what was gonna be biology
504
00:32:38,165 --> 00:32:42,845
is now an emergency SRE class.
505
00:32:43,045 --> 00:32:45,445
Apparently, there's been an outbreak
of pubic lice.
506
00:32:46,445 --> 00:32:48,365
Mr. Groff felt you needed a refresher.
507
00:32:48,685 --> 00:32:50,325
Lucky me, huh?
508
00:32:50,605 --> 00:32:53,365
I'm joking. This is actually gonna be
incredibly awkward.
509
00:32:53,445 --> 00:32:55,085
You'll be working in pairs.
510
00:32:55,285 --> 00:32:56,845
You'll need worksheets,
511
00:32:56,925 --> 00:32:58,245
two prophylactics,
512
00:32:58,325 --> 00:33:00,085
and a plastic cock and balls.
513
00:33:14,405 --> 00:33:15,405
Um...
514
00:33:22,925 --> 00:33:24,725
Jesus Christ!
515
00:33:26,965 --> 00:33:27,965
What's next?
516
00:33:34,445 --> 00:33:36,845
Uh... That's not the hymen.
517
00:33:37,485 --> 00:33:39,325
I think I know where the hymen is,
but thanks.
518
00:33:39,445 --> 00:33:42,485
Okay, well, I mean, you're... quite wrong.
519
00:33:43,645 --> 00:33:44,645
What is it, then?
520
00:33:46,605 --> 00:33:49,885
They are the paraurethral glands.
521
00:33:50,805 --> 00:33:52,645
The female prostate.
522
00:33:53,885 --> 00:33:54,885
Where's the hymen, then?
523
00:33:58,805 --> 00:33:59,805
Hymen.
524
00:34:01,005 --> 00:34:02,005
Hm.
525
00:34:08,125 --> 00:34:09,365
See me after.
526
00:34:12,925 --> 00:34:15,765
Okay, yeah... Phones away, please!
527
00:34:15,845 --> 00:34:16,885
Phones away!
528
00:34:17,765 --> 00:34:18,765
People!
529
00:34:19,445 --> 00:34:20,445
What is it?
530
00:34:21,165 --> 00:34:22,165
Nothing.
531
00:34:22,725 --> 00:34:25,045
The head of the penis
is incredibly sensitive.
532
00:34:25,405 --> 00:34:28,805
Feel free to stimulate it
with your fingers in a circular motion.
533
00:34:28,885 --> 00:34:32,325
As he gets closer to orgasm,
you can speed up.
534
00:34:32,605 --> 00:34:36,845
You'll feel him throbbing in your hand
like a volcano about to erupt.
535
00:34:37,245 --> 00:34:38,565
Look at that!
536
00:34:38,645 --> 00:34:40,245
Huh. Here we go.
537
00:34:40,765 --> 00:34:43,565
- I can feel it. Look, it's throbbing.
- Can we turn this off, please?
538
00:34:43,645 --> 00:34:45,125
Throbbing...
539
00:34:46,085 --> 00:34:47,285
Look...
540
00:34:47,365 --> 00:34:49,165
Oh, fantastic!
541
00:34:50,125 --> 00:34:51,165
And then he comes.
542
00:34:54,205 --> 00:34:55,685
Can you go and see if he's all right?
543
00:34:56,845 --> 00:34:58,245
Oh, fuck it.
544
00:34:58,525 --> 00:35:01,285
Okay, thank you everyone.
That's enough drama for today.
545
00:35:05,205 --> 00:35:06,685
Oh, my God.
546
00:35:11,125 --> 00:35:12,165
Do you want one?
547
00:35:19,365 --> 00:35:20,605
Was that really your mum?
548
00:35:21,165 --> 00:35:22,565
Mm. Could have been a lot worse.
549
00:35:23,285 --> 00:35:25,045
She could have been stroking
an actual penis.
550
00:35:26,565 --> 00:35:29,125
Oh, God. Yeah, I just think
I'm gonna die now.
551
00:35:29,925 --> 00:35:31,005
Don't worry about it.
552
00:35:31,485 --> 00:35:34,405
Speaking as a long-term member
of the Moordale Social Pariah Club,
553
00:35:34,525 --> 00:35:35,725
you'll survive.
554
00:35:50,045 --> 00:35:51,725
Oh, ow!
555
00:35:56,365 --> 00:35:57,365
Shit!
556
00:35:57,605 --> 00:35:58,925
Oh, my God.
557
00:36:01,685 --> 00:36:02,525
- Get out!
- Okay.
558
00:36:02,605 --> 00:36:03,885
- Fine.
- No, wait!
559
00:36:04,685 --> 00:36:05,685
Don't go.
560
00:36:06,245 --> 00:36:07,125
Help me.
561
00:36:07,205 --> 00:36:09,445
I know it was you
who sent that video around.
562
00:36:09,885 --> 00:36:11,445
- So?
- So I'm not gonna help you.
563
00:36:11,525 --> 00:36:13,845
Please, new kid.
It feels... like it's gonna explode.
564
00:36:13,925 --> 00:36:16,245
- And not in a good way.
- Well, that's not my problem.
565
00:36:16,325 --> 00:36:17,325
No, wait!
566
00:36:18,045 --> 00:36:19,805
Please, don't go.
567
00:36:19,885 --> 00:36:22,565
- Should we get the nurse?
- No! No, you can't tell anyone.
568
00:36:23,365 --> 00:36:25,165
- What if he dies or something?
- Dies?
569
00:36:25,245 --> 00:36:26,245
Adam...
570
00:36:27,285 --> 00:36:28,285
what did you take?
571
00:36:30,045 --> 00:36:31,045
Viagra.
572
00:36:31,125 --> 00:36:32,125
How much Viagra?
573
00:36:33,845 --> 00:36:36,045
Hey, look, um...
574
00:36:36,565 --> 00:36:39,285
Think of this room
as being four walls of trust.
575
00:36:39,365 --> 00:36:41,485
Anything you say is fine.
There's no judgment.
576
00:36:42,725 --> 00:36:44,365
- Three Viagras.
- Jesus Christ.
577
00:36:44,445 --> 00:36:46,205
- You said there'd be no judgment.
- Sorry.
578
00:36:46,285 --> 00:36:49,045
Is three Viagras bad?
Her reaction made it seem like it was bad.
579
00:36:49,125 --> 00:36:51,245
I feel lightheaded and I can taste scampi.
580
00:36:51,325 --> 00:36:54,605
- No wonder. You could besiege a castle.
- I said stop staring at it!
581
00:36:54,685 --> 00:36:55,965
Sorry! It's like a third leg.
582
00:36:58,565 --> 00:36:59,645
What now?
583
00:37:01,445 --> 00:37:02,445
We wait.
584
00:37:07,845 --> 00:37:10,405
- How is it looking?
- Still large, still...
585
00:37:11,885 --> 00:37:12,725
angry.
586
00:37:12,805 --> 00:37:15,645
- Where did you even get the Viagra from?
- None of your business.
587
00:37:15,725 --> 00:37:17,565
Please don't tell me you got it
from your dad.
588
00:37:20,445 --> 00:37:21,445
I didn't.
589
00:37:24,405 --> 00:37:25,325
Why did you take it?
590
00:37:25,405 --> 00:37:28,205
I don't know.
Heard it gives you a good buzz.
591
00:37:28,285 --> 00:37:30,445
You should try it
instead of being such a joy fucker.
592
00:37:30,525 --> 00:37:31,565
He's having dick problems.
593
00:37:31,605 --> 00:37:34,285
- Yeah? What would you know, Wiley?
- Girls talk, clodpole.
594
00:37:34,485 --> 00:37:35,805
Aimee said you can't come.
595
00:37:42,045 --> 00:37:43,165
It's too much pressure.
596
00:37:45,205 --> 00:37:47,285
- What is?
- Everyone knows I've got a giant penis.
597
00:37:47,365 --> 00:37:49,125
- So you wanted to make it bigger?
- No.
598
00:37:50,005 --> 00:37:51,565
I just wanted it to get hard.
599
00:37:51,645 --> 00:37:54,125
- Well, why do you think it couldn't?
- I don't know.
600
00:37:55,565 --> 00:37:57,405
I can't stop thinkin' about stuff
when we shag.
601
00:37:57,445 --> 00:37:59,645
"What if I'm not good at this?
Maybe I'm doin' it wrong.
602
00:37:59,685 --> 00:38:02,285
Maybe she knows I'm doin' it wrong.
What if my dad walks in?
603
00:38:02,365 --> 00:38:04,821
What if my dad walks in and it's right
when I'm blowing my load
604
00:38:04,845 --> 00:38:07,085
and I can't stop,
and he sees my jizz face?
605
00:38:07,165 --> 00:38:09,765
- What if..."
- Okay. Um... Yeah, no, we get it.
606
00:38:12,565 --> 00:38:13,725
Okay.
607
00:38:13,805 --> 00:38:14,805
Well...
608
00:38:15,965 --> 00:38:20,285
Sounds to me like you're experiencing
some performance anxiety.
609
00:38:20,925 --> 00:38:24,805
Perhaps the mythology surrounding the size
of your penis doesn't help things.
610
00:38:24,885 --> 00:38:27,045
It is interesting you mention
your father.
611
00:38:27,765 --> 00:38:29,501
How does being the headmaster's son
affect you?
612
00:38:29,525 --> 00:38:31,125
Well, it's shit, obviously.
613
00:38:31,765 --> 00:38:32,605
Go on.
614
00:38:32,685 --> 00:38:34,741
Everyone's watching me all the time.
Everyone's like,
615
00:38:34,765 --> 00:38:37,045
"There goes Adam Groff,
headmaster's son.
616
00:38:37,125 --> 00:38:39,965
He's got a big massive elephant's cock."
I've got feelings.
617
00:38:44,285 --> 00:38:45,325
I guess that...
618
00:38:48,725 --> 00:38:50,285
I wish I could be a normal kid.
619
00:38:53,045 --> 00:38:54,485
With a normal dick.
620
00:38:58,205 --> 00:38:59,325
And a normal dad.
621
00:39:01,845 --> 00:39:03,125
I think...
622
00:39:03,765 --> 00:39:06,765
that you need to own your narrative,
623
00:39:07,125 --> 00:39:08,645
not let it control you.
624
00:39:08,725 --> 00:39:11,005
Yes, you have a large appendage.
625
00:39:11,365 --> 00:39:14,085
Yes, you're very visible in the school
due to your father's position.
626
00:39:14,605 --> 00:39:16,685
But neither is likely to change.
627
00:39:17,165 --> 00:39:18,365
But your outlook can.
628
00:39:19,645 --> 00:39:20,685
Does that make sense?
629
00:39:21,165 --> 00:39:22,165
Not really.
630
00:39:24,045 --> 00:39:26,805
It shouldn't matter
what anyone in the school thinks.
631
00:39:26,925 --> 00:39:28,125
You are who you are.
632
00:39:28,205 --> 00:39:30,205
Don't let anyone take that away from you.
633
00:39:30,725 --> 00:39:32,845
So everyone's wrong, and I'm basically...
634
00:39:33,965 --> 00:39:34,965
awesome.
635
00:39:36,885 --> 00:39:39,805
Be proud of your penis and your heritage.
636
00:39:40,085 --> 00:39:41,845
'Cause neither are going anywhere.
637
00:39:42,285 --> 00:39:43,845
You should work with what you've got.
638
00:39:53,485 --> 00:39:54,885
It's going down, new kid.
639
00:39:56,445 --> 00:39:57,445
Thank God.
640
00:40:00,925 --> 00:40:03,485
Uh, you won't tell anyone about this,
will you?
641
00:40:04,165 --> 00:40:06,165
You said that thing about
the four walls of trust.
642
00:40:06,285 --> 00:40:07,445
We won't tell anyone.
643
00:40:07,725 --> 00:40:10,285
If you leave my friend Eric alone.
644
00:40:11,445 --> 00:40:13,525
- For good.
- Tromboner?
645
00:40:13,765 --> 00:40:14,765
It's your choice.
646
00:40:15,845 --> 00:40:16,845
Fine.
647
00:40:18,045 --> 00:40:19,805
I think you owe Otis an apology.
648
00:40:23,125 --> 00:40:26,605
Sorry for sending the video around,
but your mum...
649
00:40:27,685 --> 00:40:29,325
really got in my head, new kid.
650
00:40:30,165 --> 00:40:31,445
She's like some kind of...
651
00:40:32,645 --> 00:40:33,645
sexy witch.
652
00:40:42,165 --> 00:40:43,405
Well, that was unusual.
653
00:40:46,285 --> 00:40:47,645
See you around, Otis.
654
00:40:57,605 --> 00:41:01,725
♪ Well, I was hideous and handsome ♪
655
00:41:01,805 --> 00:41:04,685
Do you think Headmaster Groff
is well hung too?
656
00:41:05,245 --> 00:41:06,725
Yogurt's vegan, right?
657
00:41:07,165 --> 00:41:11,565
♪ Yes, I was honest and I lied ♪
658
00:41:12,165 --> 00:41:15,925
♪ That's my Dr. Jekyll
659
00:41:16,005 --> 00:41:18,445
- ♪ Oh, and Mr. Hyde ♪
- Hey!
660
00:41:18,525 --> 00:41:20,325
Can I have everyone's attention, please?
661
00:41:23,045 --> 00:41:24,165
I have something to say.
662
00:41:24,685 --> 00:41:27,645
My name is Adam Groff.
Headmaster Groff is my dad.
663
00:41:28,045 --> 00:41:30,605
Which is weird,
'cause I'm quite shit at school.
664
00:41:32,885 --> 00:41:34,525
And this...
665
00:41:36,085 --> 00:41:37,285
This is my dick.
666
00:41:43,845 --> 00:41:44,845
No.
667
00:41:45,405 --> 00:41:46,725
Yes, it is large.
668
00:41:48,045 --> 00:41:49,981
- Oh, my God.
- But I've done some googling.
669
00:41:50,005 --> 00:41:52,485
- Oh, my God.
- And it's actually just above average
670
00:41:52,565 --> 00:41:55,405
in terms of worldwide adult statistics.
671
00:41:56,565 --> 00:41:57,565
So, yeah.
672
00:41:58,045 --> 00:42:00,165
That's me.
673
00:42:00,845 --> 00:42:01,925
And that's my dick.
674
00:42:13,965 --> 00:42:15,605
You have to break up with him.
675
00:42:16,285 --> 00:42:17,485
Yeah, I do.
676
00:42:26,205 --> 00:42:27,525
I have to tell you something.
677
00:42:28,045 --> 00:42:30,205
♪ Don't forget now to take your pills ♪
678
00:42:30,285 --> 00:42:31,965
♪ I know you won't
Because you can't stop ♪
679
00:42:32,045 --> 00:42:33,045
I'm owning my narrative.
680
00:42:33,125 --> 00:42:35,701
- ♪ Don't forget now to take your pills ♪
- I'm owning my narrative!
681
00:42:35,725 --> 00:42:37,565
♪ Because you can't stop ♪
682
00:42:37,645 --> 00:42:39,645
♪ I know you won't
Because you can't stop ♪
683
00:42:39,925 --> 00:42:42,245
♪ I know you won't
Because you can't stop ♪
684
00:42:47,885 --> 00:42:50,005
I owned it!
685
00:42:55,845 --> 00:42:58,445
Welcome back, old friend.
How I've missed you.
686
00:43:01,125 --> 00:43:03,045
Uh, what did you wanna talk about?
687
00:43:05,165 --> 00:43:06,605
We have to break up.
688
00:43:08,645 --> 00:43:11,005
- We just had sex.
- Yeah.
689
00:43:11,325 --> 00:43:12,965
I wanted to do it one last time.
690
00:43:13,645 --> 00:43:15,165
For, like, memories.
691
00:43:16,285 --> 00:43:17,805
But I don't understand.
692
00:43:18,885 --> 00:43:20,085
I thought it was me.
693
00:43:21,005 --> 00:43:22,445
But it's definitely you.
694
00:43:23,045 --> 00:43:25,205
- What is?
- Everything.
695
00:43:26,925 --> 00:43:29,485
Just everything about us is wrong.
696
00:43:30,765 --> 00:43:31,845
Sorry.
697
00:43:32,685 --> 00:43:33,965
But it's over.
698
00:43:42,485 --> 00:43:45,125
Adam Groff
to the headmaster's office, please.
699
00:43:48,045 --> 00:43:50,245
Adam Groff
to the headmaster's office, please.
700
00:43:55,485 --> 00:43:56,765
And thank you for coming.
701
00:44:04,405 --> 00:44:06,485
Do you have any idea what you have done?
702
00:44:08,405 --> 00:44:11,725
I've had multiple parents threatening
to take their children out of school.
703
00:44:11,805 --> 00:44:15,605
They were going to charge you with
public indecency if I hadn't intervened.
704
00:44:17,565 --> 00:44:19,125
Detention for the rest of term.
705
00:44:19,205 --> 00:44:20,925
- What? Dad...
- You heard me.
706
00:44:21,645 --> 00:44:22,645
Now get out.
707
00:44:24,565 --> 00:44:26,285
I can't even bear to look at you.
708
00:44:34,125 --> 00:44:35,685
I broke up with Adam.
709
00:44:36,005 --> 00:44:37,925
- Still couldn't come?
- No, he did.
710
00:44:38,365 --> 00:44:39,645
We had goodbye sex.
711
00:44:40,085 --> 00:44:43,405
Thing is, school's hard enough
without having to date an actual flasher.
712
00:44:43,845 --> 00:44:46,021
I need to find someone
a bit more socially acceptable...
713
00:44:46,045 --> 00:44:48,165
- Rewind, he came?
- Yeah.
714
00:44:48,725 --> 00:44:51,525
It was like something clicked
in his brain. Boom!
715
00:45:10,765 --> 00:45:13,205
♪ On the floors of Tokyo ♪
716
00:45:13,285 --> 00:45:15,925
♪ Uh, down in London town's a go-go ♪
717
00:45:16,005 --> 00:45:18,925
♪ Uh, with the record selection
And the mirror's reflection ♪
718
00:45:19,005 --> 00:45:21,325
♪ I'm a-dancin' with myself ♪
719
00:45:21,405 --> 00:45:23,965
♪ Uh, when there's no one else in sight ♪
720
00:45:24,045 --> 00:45:26,805
♪ Uh, think a crowded lonely night ♪
721
00:45:26,885 --> 00:45:29,845
♪ Well, I wait so long
For my love vibration ♪
722
00:45:29,925 --> 00:45:32,005
♪ And I'm dancin' with myself ♪
723
00:45:32,085 --> 00:45:34,845
♪ Ah-oh, I'm dancin' with myself ♪
724
00:45:34,925 --> 00:45:37,485
- ♪ Ah-oh, dancin' with myself ♪
- ♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh ♪
725
00:45:37,565 --> 00:45:39,341
- ♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪
- ♪ When there's nothin' to lose ♪
726
00:45:39,365 --> 00:45:41,061
- ♪ And there's nothin' to prove ♪
- ♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪
727
00:45:41,085 --> 00:45:43,005
♪ Well, I'm dancin' with myself ♪
728
00:45:43,085 --> 00:45:44,485
- ♪ Ah-oh-oh ♪
- ♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪
729
00:45:45,725 --> 00:45:48,085
- ♪ Ah-oh-oh-oh ♪
- ♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪
730
00:45:48,445 --> 00:45:51,005
- ♪ Ah-oh-oh ♪
- ♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪
731
00:45:51,085 --> 00:45:54,245
- ♪ Ah-oh-oh ♪
- ♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪
732
00:46:05,405 --> 00:46:06,405
No!
733
00:46:08,445 --> 00:46:10,885
Faster! Faster!
734
00:46:10,965 --> 00:46:12,965
Faster! Oh, oh, oh!
735
00:46:13,045 --> 00:46:15,645
Don't stop! Don't stop! Don't stop!
736
00:46:15,725 --> 00:46:18,085
- Okay! Good! Keep going!
- Yes! Yes!
737
00:46:18,165 --> 00:46:20,165
Don't... don't...
738
00:46:20,245 --> 00:46:22,526
Don't stop! Don't stop!
739
00:46:56,165 --> 00:46:57,165
Oh!
740
00:46:57,285 --> 00:46:58,365
Very sorry.
741
00:46:58,445 --> 00:46:59,765
This isn't the bathroom.
742
00:46:59,845 --> 00:47:01,485
No, this is not the bathroom.
743
00:47:01,565 --> 00:47:03,005
I'm Harry, by the way.
744
00:47:14,365 --> 00:47:16,085
- Mum.
- Yes, darling?
745
00:47:16,965 --> 00:47:18,325
I can't masturbate.
746
00:47:21,125 --> 00:47:22,405
Sweetheart, I'm glad you...
747
00:47:22,485 --> 00:47:24,845
I can't masturbate.
But I don't wanna talk about it.
748
00:47:25,445 --> 00:47:26,645
I'm dealing with it on my own.
749
00:47:28,125 --> 00:47:29,685
Thank you for telling me.
750
00:47:36,605 --> 00:47:38,365
Yeah, I think I'd better leave too.
751
00:47:39,085 --> 00:47:41,045
I think that's probably best.
752
00:47:51,805 --> 00:47:55,965
Well, only 376 days of sixth form left.
753
00:47:56,045 --> 00:47:57,325
Yeah!
754
00:47:57,405 --> 00:48:00,205
I thought this was supposed to be
the best two years of our lives.
755
00:48:00,285 --> 00:48:02,045
At least you got Adam
to leave me alone.
756
00:48:02,125 --> 00:48:03,765
Thank you very much for that, man.
757
00:48:04,645 --> 00:48:06,445
- We had a deal.
- Yeah, your advice was shit.
758
00:48:06,525 --> 00:48:07,965
My girlfriend's broken up with me.
759
00:48:08,045 --> 00:48:10,005
Everyone's got a picture
of my lovely big dick.
760
00:48:11,005 --> 00:48:12,005
Deal's off.
761
00:48:13,325 --> 00:48:14,365
See you later...
762
00:48:15,085 --> 00:48:16,085
Tromboner.
763
00:48:21,965 --> 00:48:23,965
See? That's why you always wear a helmet.
764
00:48:27,165 --> 00:48:29,645
Um, Maeve Wiley's
coming straight over here.
765
00:48:29,725 --> 00:48:32,925
She's literally walking
straight towards us with purpose.
766
00:48:34,125 --> 00:48:36,005
Uh, Otis. Otis! Otis.
767
00:48:36,085 --> 00:48:38,085
- Okay, she's here.
- Nice helmet.
768
00:48:38,765 --> 00:48:40,765
It's just, safety first.
769
00:48:40,885 --> 00:48:42,205
Can I talk to you for a sec?
770
00:48:44,605 --> 00:48:47,165
Oh, do you want me...
Do you want me to go?
771
00:48:47,485 --> 00:48:49,085
- Yeah.
- Oh, good.
772
00:48:50,125 --> 00:48:51,245
I'll just, um...
773
00:48:52,165 --> 00:48:53,805
leave, then, shall I?
774
00:49:02,605 --> 00:49:04,925
What did you wanna talk about?
775
00:49:06,765 --> 00:49:07,885
See those two over there?
776
00:49:08,205 --> 00:49:11,205
The one on the right has never been
in a lesbian relationship before.
777
00:49:11,285 --> 00:49:13,245
She's terrified
of her new girlfriend's vagina.
778
00:49:14,365 --> 00:49:15,245
See her?
779
00:49:15,325 --> 00:49:18,445
She believes that flicking the bean
might make her clit drop off.
780
00:49:18,685 --> 00:49:21,565
She hates herself.
But she just can't stop wanking.
781
00:49:22,485 --> 00:49:23,685
Do you see them?
782
00:49:24,205 --> 00:49:26,725
Yeah, he's definitely giving everyone
pubic lice.
783
00:49:27,005 --> 00:49:28,325
What's your point?
784
00:49:29,445 --> 00:49:31,805
The students at this school
need your help, Otis.
785
00:49:32,485 --> 00:49:33,485
And we need their money.
786
00:49:34,005 --> 00:49:36,781
I haven't really worked out the details
yet, but I'm good with numbers, so,
787
00:49:36,805 --> 00:49:39,525
I'll deal with the business end of things
and you can do the therapy.
788
00:49:39,605 --> 00:49:41,541
We'll charge for every appointment
and split the cash.
789
00:49:41,565 --> 00:49:43,485
- Therapy?
- Yeah, sex therapy.
790
00:49:44,045 --> 00:49:46,245
You have a gift.
It would be irresponsible to waste it.
791
00:49:46,845 --> 00:49:51,085
- Look how you helped Adam.
- But I didn't. He hates me now.
792
00:49:51,165 --> 00:49:52,405
He came, Otis.
793
00:49:53,045 --> 00:49:55,125
Your words made him come.
794
00:49:56,765 --> 00:49:57,845
Sort of.
795
00:50:00,285 --> 00:50:02,405
Look, I haven't got all day.
Are you in or out?
796
00:50:03,245 --> 00:50:05,645
- Uh...
- Okay, fine. Don't worry about it.
797
00:50:10,405 --> 00:50:12,485
Uh... Okay. Maeve!
798
00:50:12,565 --> 00:50:13,565
Wait! Wait!
799
00:50:17,325 --> 00:50:18,325
I'm in!
800
00:50:19,125 --> 00:50:22,245
♪ Everythin' only one time
Gets you nothin' ♪
801
00:50:22,325 --> 00:50:25,445
♪ Everythin' only one time ♪
802
00:50:25,525 --> 00:50:28,565
♪ I need a sex education right away ♪
803
00:50:28,845 --> 00:50:32,165
♪ I need a sex education right away ♪
804
00:50:32,365 --> 00:50:35,485
♪ I'm in the same situation every day ♪
805
00:50:35,565 --> 00:50:39,885
♪ I need a sex education right away ♪
806
00:50:40,245 --> 00:50:43,005
♪ Too little time to clear my mind ♪
807
00:50:43,085 --> 00:50:46,405
♪ I'm too wound up by the afternoon ♪
808
00:50:46,485 --> 00:50:48,205
♪ Ooh, react in the moment ♪
809
00:50:48,285 --> 00:50:51,805
♪ And self-flagellate in the evenin' ♪
810
00:50:52,325 --> 00:50:55,005
♪ Too many times, my tongue got tied ♪
811
00:50:55,205 --> 00:50:58,565
♪ And I'm too wound up now
To tell the true truth ♪
812
00:50:58,645 --> 00:51:00,525
♪ I man up for the moment ♪
813
00:51:00,605 --> 00:51:03,605
♪ And tell myself I believe it ♪
814
00:51:03,685 --> 00:51:07,525
♪ Oh, everythin' only one time
Gets you nothin' ♪
815
00:51:07,605 --> 00:51:10,885
♪ Everythin' only one time ♪
816
00:51:11,245 --> 00:51:14,405
♪ Everythin' only one time
Gets you nothin' ♪
817
00:51:14,485 --> 00:51:17,685
♪ Everythin' only one time ♪
818
00:51:17,765 --> 00:51:20,645
♪ I need a sex education right away ♪
819
00:51:20,885 --> 00:51:24,045
♪ I need a sex education right away ♪
820
00:51:24,565 --> 00:51:27,805
♪ I'm in the same situation every day ♪
821
00:51:27,885 --> 00:51:31,965
♪ I need a sex education right away ♪
822
00:51:32,305 --> 00:52:32,813
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