All language subtitles for Hercules 515 - Greece Is Burning

Putting aside the notion...

that elegance
is a conceit of the past,

the toga reminds us...

that no part of the body
should be too hard to get to.

- One never knows...
- Mmm.

e.
when a rendezvous
will lead to a teete-aa-teet

After all, when in Rome,
be romantic.

Ow! Do you see
this side of my face?
My wig? Has anyone seen my wig?

It makes 100 dinars a day.

This other side,
it does too.

You know
what that means?
You have an expensive head?

It means handle with care!

And now, for the highlight
of our annual fashion follies,

the Olympian Collection!

You'll have your enemies
begging for mercy...

when you storm the streets
in Ares Wear.

But if you're a lover,
not a fighter,

then the Aphrodite ensemble...

will tame
even the most savage beast.

[ Woman ]
Naughty, but nice!

Don't pay any attention
to these people.

Someday they'll all be
begging to wear your designs.
I'm glad someone thinks so.

Maybe after we're done here
I could take you out for some--

Hello!

When you and doofus
are done making googly eyes
at each other,

we've got a show to run!

-Yes, Weena.
-This is Count von Verminhaven's
private viewing!

That man could make
or break my career
with one review.

I want him to be impressed.
Now get back to work!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh. Hello. Hmm.

Oh!

[ Grunts ]

Oh!

Count von Verminhaven,
my sincerest apologies.

Uh, if there's anything I
or my models can do for you,

then don't hesitate to ask.

My dear girl,
your generous offer is
entirely unnecessary.

These designs
speak for themselves.

[ Giggles ]

But, perhaps we could
discuss the finer points
of your offer...

over a crock of fondue.

Mmm. Sounds delicious.

I'll bring dessert.

You're fired. You're fired.
You're fired. You're fired.

You're fired.
You're all fired. Move!

Your career in the fashion world
is over. You're fired.

[ Man ]
Thank you for coming today.

You are living proof that
fashion is never too high...

for the lowest
common denominator.

And so, with the cutting
of this ribbon,

our illustrious guest
will declare the commencement...

of the Trendopolis
Annual Fashion Follies!

[ Cheering, Applause ]
Look!
It's von Verminhaven himself!

And don't
you all look wonderful.

If I might direct your attention
to the scroll behind me,

you will find the names
of all designers whom I,
in my infinite good taste,

have personally selected
to showcase this season.

Uh, ex-excuse me.

- What about me?
- Indeed. What about you?

I don't see
my name up there.

Well, judging from the roadkill
you're trying to pass off
as a dress,

I'm not surprised.
[ Giggling ]

As Head of the Fashion Police,

I hereby fine you 100 dinars...

for a violation of Article 2,
Section 16 Alpha, Subset Theta
of the Fashion Code--

wearing a fruit motif
on a cloudy day.

Hi. My mother taught me
never to litter,

but in this case,
I'll make an exception.

Oh!

- Hercules!
-Get him! Get him!

Save the hug.

Hercules!
Hey, Althea!

I told you I'd never
forget my first dance partner.

What are you doing here?
I, uh--

I ran into your father,
back in Rumba,

and he hasn't heard from you
in a while, and he's starting
to get worried.

Well, he shouldn't be.
I told him the next time
he'd hear from me...

I'd be a success
in the big city,
and I meant it.

Then he's never gonna
hear from you again.

Ah, Weena.
You can't help her
this time, Hercules.

The designers
were chosen fair and square,
and she didn't make the cut.

- Fine.
- Fine?

- Fine?
- Fine.

We'll just put on
our own fashion show,
right?

Right.

[ Exhales Sharply ]
Here we go again.

[ Man Narrating ]
This is the story
of a time long ago,

a time of myth and legend,

when the ancient gods
were petty and cruel,

and they plagued mankind
with suffering.

Only one man dared
to challenge their power--

Hercules.

Hercules possessed a strength
the world had never seen,

a strength surpassed
only by the power of his heart.

He journeyed the earth,
battling the minions
of his wicked stepmother, Hera,

the all-powerful
queen of the gods.

But wherever
there was evil,

wherever an innocent
would suffer,

there would be... Hercules.

- [ Screeching ]
- [ Roaring ]

Hail!

My own fashion show?
Why not?

Where do you want me
to start?

I can't compete
with people like Weena.

Correct me if I'm wrong,
but didn't you beat her...

in the dance contest
back in Rumba?

Yeah,
but that was Rumba.

This is the big city.
People here expect more--
I don't know--

sophistication.

I just don't think
I've got enough style.

You have plenty
of style.

Don't worry about
what other people think.

It's good to see you,
Hercules.

You too.

Althea, are you okay?
I heard there was trouble.

Yeah, I'm fine.
Titus, this is my friend--

- Hercules.
- Nice to meet you, Titus.

He's gonna help me
put on my own fashion show.

Really?

Well, I'll be glad to
lend a hand, but we don't
have much time.

I, uh, think we know someone
who can help speed things along.

I can't believe it.

People used to line up
all down the block
to take lessons from her.

- Is she the one who
taught you how to dance?
-Yeah.

[ Coughing ]
Ah, the earth moved, eh?

Excuse me.
How long has this
place been closed?

Oh, well, it's been
quite a while now,
laddie.

Aye. You know,
it just doesn't seem
the same round here...

without her smile.

[ Dog Whimpers ]

[ Snoring ]

Wake up!

Oh.

Oh. I-I'm sorry,
Mistress Weena.

I haven't slept
in four days.

Ohhh. Four days?

Well, why didn't you
say so?
[ Mumbles ]

Do I look like I care!

Nobody gets any sleep until
my designs are finished, okay?

My darling, I can't stand
to see you like this.

So I'm leaving.
No!

Don't leave me!
The pressure's
unbearable!

When you're on top,
everybody wants
to knock you off.

Well, you don't have to
worry about that with me,
my little doodlebug,

I love it
when you're on top.

Oh, Vermy,

Althea and Hercules
are gonna ruin everything.

Oh,please!

Hercules doesn't know
the first thing about fashion.

And besides,
my little sauerkraut sandwich,

the people will like
what I tell them to like.

You promise?

If you're really concerned,
there is something you can do.

I want you to play nice
with Althea.

Make her
your new best friend.

If I polish it
and attach shiny beads, it'll
look wonderful for the show.

[ Scissors Snipping ]

- You ready?
- Mm-hmm.

Ta-da! What do you think?

You don't like 'em.

Well, they don't look
anything like the sketches
you showed me before.

Yeah, I know.
I changed my mind.

This is the kind of thing
people wanna wear.

- It's not you.
- How do you know?

I think
they're brilliant.

What do you want?

I came here to talk.

See you later.

I came here
to apologize.

At least hear me out,
please?

The truth is,
I've always been
jealous of you.

Why?

Because you have
natural talent.

I've had to learn
what I know.

- Why should I believe you?
- Because I have no reason
to lie to you.

I have everything
I could ever want.

Except one thing:

a friend from back home
who understands how lonely
it can be in the big city.

You get lonely?

All the time.

[ Sniffles ]

[ Screeching ]
dddd [ Guitar Strumming ]

dddd [ Soft Bagpipes ]

[ Chattering ]

[ Man ]
Two, three.

And, uh, two.
Three.
You're much better.

[ Man #2 ]
I don't wanna scare you.
Here comes the fancy stuff.

[ Woman ]
Ohhh! That was fine.

Hi, honey.
Just about that time!

[ Groans ]
Why don't you grow up?

[ Sniffs ]
Whew. You should be
ashamed of yourself.

You smell like the bottom
of a parrot's cage.

Why don't you and I
go away somewhere...

and discuss the desalination
of your putrefic suspiration?

I paid for this dance,

and I'm gonna
get my money's worth!

Ooh.
Mind if I cut in?

Aaah!

[ Thump ]
[ Man Groans ]

[ Gasps ]
Hercules. What are
you doing here?

I'm looking for you.
Althea and I need your help.

No, no, no, no, no.
You shouldn't have come. I don't
want you to see me like this.

Twanky, what happened?
I went to your studio,
and it was closed.

Hercules, I have
fallen on hard times.

I'm shagged out.

The lead's gone
right out of my pencil,
and I don't need your pity.

So why don't you just shoo
and leave me to wallow
in my humble commode?

Wait.
What's going on here?

You've got too much self-respect
to let people likethat
rent you for a cheap dance.

Self-respect, Hercules,

is a luxury
I can no longer afford.

dddd [ Accordion ]

dddd [ Continues ]

dd I once was a star
the belle of the ball dd

d
dd The queen of the floo
r Men begging for more d

dd I used to believe
that I had it all dd

dd But that was before dd

dd My great fall dd

dddd [ Continues ]

dd One dinar a dance dd

dd I don't twirl for free dd

dd I've fallen so low dd

dd No place left to go dd

dd I once was a star
as bright as could be dd

dd There once was a time
that I danced just for me dd

dd One dinar a dance dd

dd One dinar a dance dd

dd I've fallen so low dd

dd No place left to go dd

dd My life's a disgrace dd

dd I'm lost in the race dd

dd So just let it be dd

dd
dd Like it or not, this is me dd

I'm sorry, Hercules.
I can't help you.

[ Music Ends ]

Twanky's not coming?
She had to, uh, work.

[ Sighs ]
So what now?

- Can't have a fashion show
without a stage, right?
- But how?

Every hall and auditorium
in this town is booked.
And we're broke.

Good. The less we have,
the more creative
we'll have to be.

Oh, thank the gods.
It's the police.

You are under arrest...

for violation of Article 1A,
Section 10, Subset 234D
of the Fashion Code--

wearing leather
in the summer.

Oh. Well,
then why aren't you
out arresting cows?

- [ Snickers ]
-[ Cow Mooing ]

Oh, forget it.
You have no sense
of humor, do you?

[ Distant Moaning, Shouting ]

I do apologize, Hercules,
for this embarrassing situation.

It seems our Fashion Police
can at times be a touch
overzealous.

Hercules, I can't stand
to see you like this,

so I shall make sure
you are released
as soon as possible.

After all,
being the chief arbiter
of taste in this city...

does confer some advantages.

Like deciding
who's in your little club
and who isn't...

because of what they wear.

As a matter of fact, yes.

And why shouldn't we?
Every institution of honor
has its dress code, does it not?

In case you haven't noticed,
Greece isn't an institution.
It's a free society.

And you're encouraging people
to turn against each other
just for being different.

Oh, Hercules.
We're encouraging
harmony and equality...

by ensuring that no one person
stands out above the rest.

Except for you.

I am but a humble
public servant.

So let me do you the service...

of explaining that
all designers have been chosen
for this season's festival.

Any exhibit
not sanctioned by me...

will not be tolerated lightly,
if at all.

Thanks for the tip.
Now let me give you one.

If you or your goons
get in my way again,

you'll all be out of style
faster than you can say
"tube top."

[ Clears Throat ]

Ohhh. Where is he?

Don't worry.
He'll be back.

Of course he will.

In the meantime, why don't
you and I have ourselves
a girls' afternoon out?

But, Althea,
there's work to be done.

[ Stammering ]
How nice of you
to volunteer.

Come on.
We've got so much to do.

If you're going to be
a successful designer,
you gotta look the part.

[ No Audible Dialogue ]

Another
Flirty Dryad.

[ Slurps ]
Oh.

[ Chuckling ]
All right, toots.

I got a string of tickets
in this hand,

and nothing in this one.

Are you ready to meet
Mr. Palm?

[ Chuckles ]
Huh. I wouldn't want
to come between you both.

Hmm.

I'm only gonna
ask nice once.

But if you're a good girl--
[ Chuckles ]

Oh!
You'll know
your place.

I'm a lady, sir,
and that makes it all the more
difficult for me to do this.

But a girl's got to do
what a girl's got to do.
[ Chuckling ]

[ Yelling ]

[ Laughs ]
Twanky!

Oh, Twanky,
that was wonderful!
Oh. Oh, thanks.

Oh, Hercules was right.
I deserve better than this.

Uh-huh.
I deserve respect.
I deserve consideration.

I deserve to be spit-polished by
the Olympic weight-lifting team!

But as I can't have that,
I shall settle for my dignity.

That's it, girls.
I quit!

The floor is yours!

[ Woman ]
Yes. That's Althea.

Althea?
What happened to you?

Well, you sure know
how to make a girl
feel special.

I didn't mean--
What's with you,
anyway?

First you didn't
like my designs and now this.
I thought you were my friend.

But I--
You're jealous.

I'm fitting in
for the first time,
and you can't stand it.

[ Huffs ]
Well, with all
your new friends,

y-you don't need me.

Hey, Titus.

Where's he going?

I don't care.
I'm going home
to finish my frocks.

Great.
Yoo-hoo!

Ohhh.
[ Giggles ]

Hi.

Hi, yourself.
Woof.

You're a sight
for sore thighs.

Kiss me!
Aaah. Oh!

Sorry. I slipped.
Oh. Never mind.

That's perfectly all right.
After all, our love is eternal.

Ooh. I haven't felt anything
that hard in a long time.

Now then,
I have a fashion show
to organize.

Where do we start?
Uh, Twanky.

Tell me why you closed
your studio down.

Well, I was going to retire
to a sunny beach...

and eat caviar
off the washboard abs of
a virile young Nubian.

That's quite an image.
Uh, just tell me what happened.

dddd [ Ballad ]

Well, let's just say
that one bad review
can ruin a girl's career.

And we'll leave it at that,
shall we?

After all, what's done is done.
It's all in the past now.

Let bygones be bygones.
It's no use crying
over spilt milk.

We've got to keep
our eyes on the prize
and look to the future.

Now, go and round up
the troops.

I've got to work my magic.
Hmm.

[ Record Needle Scratching ]
Oh, off with it,
you hooty!

Bingo.

[ Chuckles ]
Torch the place.

Hurry up! Quickly!

My designs!

Oh! My designs!

Oh! My designs.
[ Breathing Heavily ]

Oh.

Aaah!
[ Whimpers ]

[ Coughing ]

[ Coughing ]

- Althea!
- Herc-- Hercules. Help.

[ Coughing ]

I gotcha!

Stay low.
[ Coughing ]

[ Coughing ]

You okay?
[ Gasps ]
My designs.

How am I gonna
do a show
without my designs?

Althea, all we have to
do is just--
Hercules.

I really appreciate
everything you've done
for me, but...

not all of us
can reach for the sky.

Some of us
just wanna fit in.

Weena will understand.
She's my friend.

Althea.

Who do you think
did this?

You don't know
what you're talking about.

To my little
pastry face.

No, no, no. To you,
my lugubrious love-biscuit.

Let us usher in
a new era...

of narcissism,
designer-label
inflation...

and eating disorders.

Weena!

Oh, I'm so glad I found you.

[ Crying ]

Oh, you poor thing.

What happened?

My designs,
they're gone.
Oh, there, there.

With your talent,
you'll be back on your feet
in no time.

I'm sorry
I ever doubted you.

Weena, I knew
I could come to you.

Always.

This fabric-- I used this
in one of my pieces.

That proves
that we're soul mates.

Althea, all that matters
is that you weren't hurt
in the fire.

I never told you
about a fire.

It was you?

You stole them?

[ Whimpering ]

My designs!

You stole my designs!

Well, my little
Black Forest cherry face,
time to come clean.

-It seems our little ruse
has been unmasked.
- Thank the gods!

If I have to pretend to be your
friend another moment longer,
I think I'll puke!

You won't get away
with this!

But my dear girl,
we already have.

These can't be your designs,
because your designs
were burnt in the fire.

-[ Weena Laughing ]
- Now, where were we?

Ah, yes.
To an incendiary season.

[ Sobbing ]

[ Snarls ]
[ Giggling ]

Althea, wait.
If you've come to yell at me,
don't bother.

Where
are you going?
To Rumba.

I've-- I've
ruined everything.

Hercules tried to warn me,
but I wouldn't listen.

Instead, I insulted him,
and I insulted you and--
Althea, stop!

You-- You can't just throw
your dreams away...

because some spoiled prima donna
tried to bring you down.

You've got more talent
in your little finger...

than all the Weenas
of the world put together.

And by the way,

I love you.

Now would be a really good time
to say something.

I-- I don't know
what to say.

Just say you'll
get even with Weena.

But how? She stole
all my latest designs.

Well, then-- it's a good thing
I've still got your old ones.

[ Giggling ]

By the gods!

dddd [ Blues ]

This is all for me?
Well, of course it's for you.
Who else would it be for?

Twanky!
Ohhh, darling Althea.

You look--
It's lovely to see you again.

[ Giggles ]

How did you
build this so fast?
Oh, it was nothing really.

[ Grunting ]
That's easy for you to say.

[ Grunting Continues ]
Oh.

[ Grunts, Exhales Deeply ]

- What?
- Are you going to...
have a drink now?

Oh, no, thanks.
I'm not really thirsty.

Ohhh. Mm.

[ Breathing Heavily ]
On second thought,

I could use
a little cooling off.

Well, I don't know about you,

but I need to loosen me corset.

[ Inhales Sharply ]
Come on, young man.

- You all right?
- Thanks to you.

I'm sorry
about what I said.

I guess I was trying
so hard to fit in, I--

I didn't realize
I already belong somewhere.

Welcome back.

Do you think
that Cleopatra should be...

on this season's
best- or worst-dressed list?

My leader.

Well, speak.

Hercules and the girl
are at it again.

The runway
is nearing completion.

Oh, that Hercules
is like a bad rash.

I hate him, I hate him,
I hate him, I hate him.
I hate him.

Don't frown.
You'll get wrinkles.

Well, if Hercules
is determined to put on
his little show,

we'll just have to help him
bring down the house.

[ Gasps ]

There.
That should do it.

Oh! I feel like
a young girl again.

You know,
this takes me right back
to my modeling days,

when my 12th husband,
Lord Longfellow,

known in the more exotic ports
as "Three-legged Willie,"

demanded that
I give up the catwalk
and bear him an heir.

What did you do?

Well, I said to him,
"Dick," I said,
"I am a career girl."

But he would not
take no for an answer,

so I cut off his aspirations.

Do you know, even though
it ended badly between us,

I still carry part of him
with me.

Alley-oop!
[ Grunts ]

Ohh-kay.
Good to know.

Uh, Althea? How are
your designs coming along?

I'll be ready
by tonight.

Look out!

Aaah.
[ Whimpers ]

Hercules!

- Hercules!
-Look out!

- [ Grunts ]
- Oh.

Go!
[ Grunts ]

Oh.
[ Whimpers ]

- Is anybody hurt?
- I can't believe it.

It's the last day
of the festival.

What are
we gonna do?
Oh.

- Well, you know what they say.
- Never trust a dentist
with hairy knuckles?

No. The party
is where you make it.

Come on. Let's go.

dddd [ '80s Dance ]
Right. Gather round, girls!

Come on. I need your help.

Walk this way.

[ Woman, Background ]
dd It's time to move
on up in the world dd

dd Let's keep it going strong dd

dd Wanna know, wanna know
wanna know dd

dd That my heart is true dd

dd If you let me
have just one chance dd

dd I'll show you
what I'm gonna do dd

dd Gonna tell you how I feel dd

dd Just how I feel tonight dd

dd Make you believe
that everything dd

dd Is all right dd

dd Let me tell you
that tonight dd

dd The whole world's watching dd

dd Tonight dd
dd Tonight dd

dd The stars will be
shining so bright dd

dd Tonight dd
dd Together
we'll make such a sight dd

dd Tonight dd
dd The whole world's
watching tonight dddd

[ Cheering, Applause ]
Ladies and gentlemen,
girls and boys, welcome!

Although true beauty
is on the inside,

it never hurts to have
a little help on the outside.

Believe me,
I know what I'm talking about.

So, without further ado,

it is my privilege
and my honor to bring you...

the Althea Collection!

[ Cheering, Applause ]
dddd [ Techno ]

[ Woman ]
Wonderful!

[ Man ]
Genius!

Last pin.

[ Man ]
The next change is a quick one,
so don't dally around.

[ Chattering Continues ]

So far, so good.

Hmm?

dddd [ Techno Continues ]
[ Onlookers Oohing ]

Smoky Autumn.

A must when you want to
add a little warmth
to those chilly nights.

Ugh! No!
Pathetic.
Who would wear that?

Note the line of this garment,
as it--

[ Woman ]
Encore!
Oh, bravo!

[ Man ]
Well done!
Bravo!

More!

- Twanky, what's the matter?
- I can't go back out there.

Von Verminhaven's here
with the Fashion Police.

It was him. Verminhaven's
the one that ruined you,
isn't he?

[ Man ]
What's the holdup?

He tried to force
his affections upon me.

And when I spurned
his advances,

he sullied my reputation
all over town.

[ Crowd Clamoring ]

It's time
for you to take back
what he stole from you.

Ohhh. The crowd's
getting restless.
We want our fashion!

[ Crowd Chanting ]
We want our fashion!

Listen to them, Twanky.
You can't leave.

I can't do this
without you.

If you run now,
Verminhaven wins,

and you'll
never forgive yourself.

[ Crowd Chanting ]
We want our fashion.
We want our fashion.

[ People Groaning ]
[ Chanting Continues ]

This is nothing
but a farce.
Yes.

[ Crowd Clamoring ]

What a farce! What cheapness!
What complete and utter slop!

Well, that's enough about you.
What do you think of the show?

[ Laughter ]
On second thought,

I don't care
what you think of the show.

Humph!
Now then, where were we?

Oh, yes.
The Althea Collection.

dddd [ Techno Resumes ]
[ Applause, Cheering ]

The lovely bride,
for those in a romantic mood.

[ Man ]
Elegant!

[ Growling ]

They're gonna
ruin everything!

What are we gonna do?

Improvise.

Learn to tame
the beast within you...

with Althea's
sultry animal prints!

-dd Too sexy for my love dd
-[ Women Howling ]

dd Love's going to leave me dd

dddd [ Dance ]
[ Woman ]
What a silhouette!

[ Woman #2 ]
Oh, baby! Whoo-hoo!

[ Man ]
What a bull Hercules is!

-[ Women Continue Howling ]
-[ Man ] I'd love to have
an outfit like that!

[ Woman ]
How masculine!

dd I'm too sexy for my shirt
Too sexy for my shirt dddd

On second thought,
why not let the beast run wild?

[ Woman ]
What a body! Whoo!
[ Man ]
I want one of those!

dddd [ Music Continues ]

[ Giggling ]

- Stop gawking and get them!
- Yes, sir!

[ Policemen Yelling ]
dddd [ Upbeat Latin ]

dddd [ Music Continues ]

[ Policemen Yelling ]

Oh.

[ Crowd Gasping ]

- Hah. Hyah!
- Aaah!

[ Bones Creak ]
Aaah. Ooh.

Ooh.

dddd [ Upbeat Latin Continues ]

Aaah!

[ Man Groaning ]

[ Cheering, Whistling ]

[ Music Stops ]

Oh. Well, thank you. I--
I hope you enjoyed the show.

Uh, but now I'd like
you to meet the young lady
who made this all possible--

Althea!
[ Woman ]
Bravo!

Come on,
love.
[ Man ]
Fabulous, Althea!

[ Man #2 ]
Wonderful, Althea!

[ Woman ]
You're the best!

Love you a big bunch.
Ohhh.

You liar! You promised
you'd stop Hercules!

These designs are in violation
of the fashion code!

All of these people
are under arrest!

[ Gasps ]

Your fashion code is a joke,
but I'm not laughing anymore.

Everyone has the right
to their own opinion,

but von Verminhaven
has turned his into the law.

Althea had the courage
to remind you that it's okay
to be different.

Well, you all have
your own style.

Don't let him
take that away from you.

- [ Groans ]
-[ Cheering ]

dddd [ Disco ]

d
- [ Mouthing Words ]
- dd I'm too sexy for my shirt d

dd Too sexy for my shirt
so sexy it hurts dd

dd And I'm too sexy for Milan dd

dd Too sexy for Milan
New York and Japan dd

dd I'm a model
You know what I mean dd

dd And I do my little turn
on the catwalk dd

dd Yeah, on the catwalk
On the catwalk, yeah dd

dd I do my little turn
on the catwalk dd

dd I'm too sexy for this song dd
dd

Closed-Captioned By
Captions, Inc., Los Angeles