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1
00:00:26,114 --> 00:00:27,574
(EXplosion)
2
00:00:31,245 --> 00:00:33,830
- (Growls)
- 'So that's what you look like.
3
00:00:35,123 --> 00:00:37,000
'You're ugly! Horrible!
4
00:00:37,626 --> 00:00:40,420
'Go on. Try your intellect on me.'
5
00:00:40,546 --> 00:00:42,673
- (Growls)
- 'I'll see you in hell first!'
6
00:00:42,798 --> 00:00:44,258
(Gunshot)
7
00:00:44,383 --> 00:00:45,801
(Screams)
8
00:00:47,302 --> 00:00:48,679
Stop!'
9
00:00:50,389 --> 00:00:52,641
'Let's get out of here!'
10
00:00:53,475 --> 00:00:54,851
'Cease firing.'
11
00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:03,318
(Grunts)
12
00:01:03,443 --> 00:01:04,987
(G roans)
13
00:01:07,239 --> 00:01:10,742
- 'He acted like he knew it.'
- 'He did.
14
00:01:11,368 --> 00:01:14,830
'He learned almost too late
that man is a feeling creature.
15
00:01:16,206 --> 00:01:18,542
'And because of it
the greatest in the universe.
16
00:01:19,668 --> 00:01:24,006
'There is hope,
but it has to come from man himself.'
17
00:01:25,632 --> 00:01:28,010
I have to go.
I'm gonna eat now.
18
00:01:28,135 --> 00:01:29,511
Hold on. Just a second.
19
00:01:29,636 --> 00:01:31,263
(indistinct chatter)
20
00:01:37,269 --> 00:01:38,895
'Hello, darling. It's me again.
21
00:01:39,021 --> 00:01:40,939
'Yours cruelly, Elvira.
22
00:01:41,064 --> 00:01:44,651
'The gal with the enormous...
uh, ratings. Hmm.
23
00:01:44,776 --> 00:01:46,612
'Well, that's our show.
24
00:01:47,154 --> 00:01:50,532
'I hope you enjoyed watching it
as much as I did.'
25
00:01:50,657 --> 00:01:52,701
(Chuckles, imitates retching)
26
00:01:52,826 --> 00:01:55,579
Oh, boy. I mean, could you believe
that cheesy-looking monster?
27
00:01:55,704 --> 00:01:57,831
Looked like Gumby on steroids.
28
00:01:57,956 --> 00:02:00,125
(Scoffs) Well, at least
the movie had a moral.
29
00:02:00,250 --> 00:02:01,960
Where's the shrimp?
30
00:02:03,003 --> 00:02:04,796
Are you ready for the news?
31
00:02:04,921 --> 00:02:06,256
(Overlapping chatter)
32
00:02:06,381 --> 00:02:08,342
Does anybody know
what that movie was about?
33
00:02:08,467 --> 00:02:12,346
Uh, I'll tell you what it was about.
It was about an hour and half too long!
34
00:02:12,471 --> 00:02:14,306
- (Mouths) Cut.
- Hmm. Oh...
35
00:02:14,431 --> 00:02:17,351
And, uh, don't forget next week,
it's "The Head with Two Things"...
36
00:02:17,476 --> 00:02:19,394
Uh, I mean,
"The Thing with Two Heads".
37
00:02:19,519 --> 00:02:21,897
And until then this is Elvira,
38
00:02:22,022 --> 00:02:25,609
the gal who put the boob
back into boob tube,
39
00:02:25,734 --> 00:02:29,029
saying unpleasant dreams.
40
00:02:32,741 --> 00:02:35,243
- (Crew) Got the news in one minute.
- Very nice.
41
00:02:36,912 --> 00:02:38,246
Hey! Put me down, will ya?
42
00:02:38,372 --> 00:02:40,332
How do you expect me
to fix your hair...?
43
00:02:40,457 --> 00:02:41,792
Oh, idiot!
44
00:02:44,503 --> 00:02:47,964
Is there anything
that could possibly shame you?
45
00:02:48,090 --> 00:02:50,759
Yeah. Wearing this
in a public place might do it.
46
00:02:50,884 --> 00:02:52,219
(Make-up artist) Ha!
47
00:02:54,471 --> 00:02:56,390
Get it, girlfriend!
48
00:02:56,515 --> 00:02:58,433
You got your news and counting?
49
00:03:00,352 --> 00:03:01,895
- Elvira.
- Not now, Rudy.
50
00:03:02,020 --> 00:03:05,065
Wait a sec, wait a sec.
See, see that guy over there?
51
00:03:05,857 --> 00:03:07,901
What, the lard bucket
in the ten-gallon hat?
52
00:03:08,026 --> 00:03:09,778
Yes, that's the station new owner.
53
00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:13,156
From the edge of the sea
to the end of the valley...
54
00:03:13,281 --> 00:03:14,658
- (Shouts) You what?
- Shut up!
55
00:03:14,783 --> 00:03:16,410
Relax, relax.
56
00:03:16,535 --> 00:03:18,328
This guy's a millionaire, OK?
57
00:03:19,162 --> 00:03:20,497
Mr Hooter...
58
00:03:21,498 --> 00:03:23,750
...this is, uh, Elvira.
59
00:03:25,168 --> 00:03:28,630
Name's Earl, but the ladies back home
call me Longhorn.
60
00:03:29,214 --> 00:03:31,216
Maybe you can guess why.
61
00:03:31,341 --> 00:03:34,803
(Chuckles) Gee, I... I don't know. Does
it have anything to do with your breath?
62
00:03:35,804 --> 00:03:38,432
Why don't we let this little filly
get herself gussied up? And...
63
00:03:39,558 --> 00:03:42,144
...the sooner I get in the saddle,
the better.
64
00:03:42,269 --> 00:03:44,813
(Chuckles) Well, sorry, partner.
65
00:03:44,938 --> 00:03:48,150
But it looks like it's gonna be you
and your trusty old right hand.
66
00:03:48,275 --> 00:03:51,945
Sounds like you're looking
to get yourself fired, little lady.
67
00:03:52,070 --> 00:03:53,405
Huh! Go ahead and fire me.
68
00:03:53,530 --> 00:03:55,907
I need this job like a leper
needs a three-way mirror!
69
00:03:56,032 --> 00:04:00,078
Itjust so happens
I have an act opening up in Las Vegas.
70
00:04:00,203 --> 00:04:04,666
Oh, terrific. You can try your act
out on me. It's milkin' time!
71
00:04:05,417 --> 00:04:08,420
- (Yells)
- That's it! I'm walkin'!
72
00:04:08,545 --> 00:04:10,338
I don't have to take this
from anybody!
73
00:04:10,464 --> 00:04:12,924
And as for you,
you cretinous cowpoke...
74
00:04:13,049 --> 00:04:14,342
Whoa! She's got Hooter!
75
00:04:14,468 --> 00:04:16,678
Somebody on the floor,
get her out of there.
76
00:04:16,803 --> 00:04:18,597
...within so much as ten feet of me
77
00:04:18,722 --> 00:04:21,183
and I'm gonna tie your weenie
in a granny knot!
78
00:04:21,308 --> 00:04:23,518
- (Groans)
- Whoa!
79
00:04:23,643 --> 00:04:25,520
You said she was a nympho.
80
00:04:25,645 --> 00:04:30,442
Come on, will you?
Not the ball game! Oh!
81
00:04:30,567 --> 00:04:33,153
- You can't quit!
- (Elvira) What's the big deal?
82
00:04:33,278 --> 00:04:34,863
As soon as my show opens
in Las Vegas,
83
00:04:34,988 --> 00:04:38,074
I never have to host
one of those crap horror movies again.
84
00:04:39,159 --> 00:04:41,286
- There's no problem with the show?
- Problem?
85
00:04:41,411 --> 00:04:42,746
(Chuckles)
86
00:04:42,871 --> 00:04:45,207
Complications maybe,
but never a problem.
87
00:04:45,332 --> 00:04:47,250
All right. Out with it, Manny.
88
00:04:47,375 --> 00:04:49,961
OK. The Flamingo won't...
89
00:04:50,086 --> 00:04:51,505
...won't go ahead
with the show
90
00:04:51,630 --> 00:04:53,673
unless you come up
with some money.
91
00:04:53,799 --> 00:04:57,344
- Well, how much do they want?
- (Gulps) 50,000 dollars.
92
00:04:58,553 --> 00:05:01,515
50,000 dollars?
Are you nuts?
93
00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:04,100
(Gasps) Where am I gonna
come up with that kind of money?
94
00:05:04,226 --> 00:05:06,603
Maybe it's not too late
to get yourjob back.
95
00:05:06,728 --> 00:05:09,648
Forget it, Manny. I'm never working
for that sleazeball again!
96
00:05:10,357 --> 00:05:13,527
(Sighs) I'll just have to find
another sleazeball.
97
00:05:13,652 --> 00:05:15,445
(Knocking on door)
98
00:05:15,570 --> 00:05:17,447
- Ooh!
- (Crew) A telegram for Miss Elvira.
99
00:05:17,572 --> 00:05:18,990
I'll take it.
100
00:05:22,494 --> 00:05:26,915
"Dear Elvira, as executor of the estate
of your great-aunt, Miss Morgana Talbot,
101
00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:31,086
"l'm sorry to inform you
of her un...timely passing."
102
00:05:31,211 --> 00:05:34,089
Whoa! I didn't even know I had a good aunt,
much less a great one.
103
00:05:34,214 --> 00:05:35,549
Let me see that.
104
00:05:36,925 --> 00:05:39,594
Says here all I have to do
is come to Fallwell, Massachusetts,
105
00:05:39,719 --> 00:05:42,597
for the reading of the will
and I'll pick up my inheritance!
106
00:05:43,223 --> 00:05:44,975
Is that timing or what?
107
00:05:46,768 --> 00:05:48,395
(Sobs, blows nose)
108
00:05:49,396 --> 00:05:53,483
"And lastly
to my enchanting niece Elvira,
109
00:05:53,608 --> 00:05:55,777
"who has unflinchingly withstood
110
00:05:55,902 --> 00:05:58,655
"the slings and arrows
of an imperfect world
111
00:05:58,780 --> 00:06:01,741
"without so much
as a whimper or a complaint..."
112
00:06:01,867 --> 00:06:03,451
Mm. (Gasps)
113
00:06:03,577 --> 00:06:07,330
bequeath my entire fortune."
114
00:06:07,455 --> 00:06:08,832
(Congregation) Oh.
115
00:06:08,957 --> 00:06:11,084
(Gasps, sobs)
116
00:06:12,002 --> 00:06:15,839
Let's show Elvira
exactly what she's inherited!
117
00:06:15,964 --> 00:06:17,966
(I Game show music)
118
00:06:18,091 --> 00:06:19,551
(Bell rings)
119
00:06:20,468 --> 00:06:21,553
(Gasps)
120
00:06:21,678 --> 00:06:26,349
Elvira, you are going to start
with something that dreams are made of.
121
00:06:26,474 --> 00:06:28,810
- (Gasping)
- A beautiful new sailboat!
122
00:06:29,561 --> 00:06:31,938
You're going to sail away
123
00:06:32,063 --> 00:06:35,984
- in a sporty Sunchaser ll from Snark.
- (Yelps)
124
00:06:36,109 --> 00:06:37,235
And that's not all.
125
00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:38,820
When you're tired of sailing,
126
00:06:38,945 --> 00:06:43,241
you'll drive home
in this brand-new Jeep Wrangler!
127
00:06:43,366 --> 00:06:44,868
(Squeals) I needed one of those!
128
00:06:44,993 --> 00:06:49,456
And you'll sit down to dinner at
this beautiful ten-piece dining-room suite
129
00:06:49,581 --> 00:06:51,416
from American Heritage.
130
00:06:51,541 --> 00:06:53,126
(Screams, yelps)
131
00:06:53,251 --> 00:06:55,587
And top... and top of all of that...
132
00:06:57,255 --> 00:06:59,007
...money!
133
00:06:59,132 --> 00:07:02,552
- Lots and lots of money!
- (Yelps)
134
00:07:08,016 --> 00:07:10,518
Elvira? Elvira, are you all right?
135
00:07:10,644 --> 00:07:13,104
Hm. Go ahead
and call The Flamingo, Manny.
136
00:07:13,229 --> 00:07:14,564
Tell 'em I'll have that 50 grand
137
00:07:14,689 --> 00:07:16,608
as soon as I get back
from Massachusetts.
138
00:07:17,108 --> 00:07:19,402
Las Vegas, here I come!
139
00:07:19,527 --> 00:07:22,989
(I LORI CHACKO:
"Once Bitten Twice Shy")
140
00:07:23,114 --> 00:07:24,240
J' Hey, heY
141
00:07:26,201 --> 00:07:27,285
♪ Hey, hey...
142
00:07:27,410 --> 00:07:28,954
(Tyres screeching)
143
00:07:29,079 --> 00:07:30,538
J' Hey, heY
144
00:07:32,457 --> 00:07:36,252
J' Hey, hey
I've been around round and round
145
00:07:36,378 --> 00:07:40,382
J' I broke it up
cos you shot me down, down, yeah
146
00:07:41,841 --> 00:07:43,176
J' Oh, yeah...
147
00:07:43,301 --> 00:07:44,427
(Tyres screeching)
148
00:07:44,552 --> 00:07:46,137
Hop in, sailor!
149
00:07:46,262 --> 00:07:48,723
J' I took a ride on your winding road
150
00:07:48,848 --> 00:07:52,435
J' Told you some secrets
I ain't ever told before...
151
00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:54,562
(Chuckles)
152
00:07:54,688 --> 00:07:56,106
J' No more...
153
00:07:56,231 --> 00:07:57,315
(Tyres screeching)
154
00:07:58,149 --> 00:08:00,902
J' So if you wanna meet
in the halfway...
155
00:08:01,027 --> 00:08:02,779
Here. You forgot your axe!
156
00:08:03,738 --> 00:08:05,073
(G roans)
157
00:08:05,198 --> 00:08:08,284
J' I said once bitten, twice shy
158
00:08:09,786 --> 00:08:14,290
J' I said once bitten, twice shy...
159
00:08:14,416 --> 00:08:16,710
(Howling)
160
00:08:16,835 --> 00:08:19,796
J' There's a place
just down the road
161
00:08:19,921 --> 00:08:22,173
J' Where the little ones
have fallen souls
162
00:08:22,298 --> 00:08:24,050
J' Oh, yeah
163
00:08:25,427 --> 00:08:27,137
J' Oh, yeah...
164
00:08:27,846 --> 00:08:29,180
(Siren wails)
165
00:08:29,305 --> 00:08:32,267
J' Take me to Shanghai,
take me away
166
00:08:32,392 --> 00:08:35,603
J' I need a rest
from this crazy masquerade...
167
00:08:35,729 --> 00:08:38,606
You know you were doing 50
in a 25 mile-per-hour zone?
168
00:08:39,315 --> 00:08:42,110
Uh, no. But if you hum a few bars,
I'll fake it.
169
00:08:42,235 --> 00:08:44,070
(Chuckles)
170
00:08:46,656 --> 00:08:48,908
(Clears throat, sighs)
171
00:08:49,034 --> 00:08:50,493
Oh, I gotta get a newjoke.
172
00:08:50,618 --> 00:08:52,287
This one's costing me a fortune.
173
00:08:53,413 --> 00:08:56,958
J' I said once bitten, twice shy
174
00:08:59,711 --> 00:09:01,087
J' Huh...
175
00:09:04,841 --> 00:09:06,301
(Farts)
176
00:09:11,514 --> 00:09:13,058
r Hey, hey, hew- J'
177
00:09:15,852 --> 00:09:17,353
(Switches radio station)
178
00:09:17,479 --> 00:09:20,023
J' I go inside
and order some chicken-fried steak...
179
00:09:20,148 --> 00:09:22,484
Hey! How about some gas?
180
00:09:22,609 --> 00:09:24,110
J' Chicken-fried steak
181
00:09:24,235 --> 00:09:27,405
J' Oh, chicken-fried steak
182
00:09:27,530 --> 00:09:29,240
J' Potatoes and gravy
183
00:09:29,365 --> 00:09:31,117
J' And peas on a plate...
184
00:09:32,243 --> 00:09:33,620
This...
185
00:09:33,745 --> 00:09:35,997
J' Don't make no mistake
186
00:09:36,539 --> 00:09:40,835
J' There ain't nothing better
than chicken-fried steak
187
00:09:42,253 --> 00:09:44,756
J' Well, the first bite
is the best bite
188
00:09:44,881 --> 00:09:47,300
J' It's the one that sets me free
189
00:09:47,425 --> 00:09:49,761
J' Smothered in some gravy
190
00:09:49,886 --> 00:09:51,930
J' It drips all over me
191
00:09:53,139 --> 00:09:55,600
J' I can sink down into it
192
00:09:55,725 --> 00:09:58,269
J' It's more than I can take
193
00:09:58,394 --> 00:10:02,732
J' When I started chewing
on that chicken-fried steak
194
00:10:04,609 --> 00:10:06,111
J' Chicken-fried steak
195
00:10:06,236 --> 00:10:08,613
J' Oh, chicken-fried steak
196
00:10:09,114 --> 00:10:11,157
J' Potatoes and gravy
197
00:10:11,282 --> 00:10:13,159
J' And peas on a plate...
198
00:10:13,284 --> 00:10:16,287
- (Engine starts)
- You know, those things'll kill ya.
199
00:10:19,624 --> 00:10:21,209
Have a nice day!
200
00:10:21,334 --> 00:10:23,086
J' Chicken-fried steak
201
00:10:24,170 --> 00:10:28,007
J' If there ever comes a time,
I get my gun and I go wrong...
202
00:10:28,133 --> 00:10:29,467
(Farts)
203
00:10:29,592 --> 00:10:31,678
J' And the judge says I must die
204
00:10:31,803 --> 00:10:33,805
J' Or the jury wants me gone... J'
205
00:10:33,930 --> 00:10:35,557
(Explosions)
206
00:10:38,977 --> 00:10:42,397
(I LORI CHACKO:
"Once Bitten Twice Shy")
207
00:10:47,861 --> 00:10:49,404
J' Hey, hey, he)'
208
00:11:01,082 --> 00:11:02,417
IOw
209
00:11:04,752 --> 00:11:07,714
J' Just like a cat on a hot tin roof
210
00:11:07,839 --> 00:11:09,340
J' Feel I'm feminine
211
00:11:09,465 --> 00:11:10,800
J' Why can't you lose her?
212
00:11:10,925 --> 00:11:14,888
J' Once bitten, twice shy
213
00:11:16,389 --> 00:11:21,102
J' I said once bitten, twice shy...
214
00:11:21,227 --> 00:11:22,562
(Mouths) Hi.
215
00:11:22,687 --> 00:11:27,275
J' I said once bitten, twice shy
216
00:11:28,985 --> 00:11:32,614
J' I said once bitten, twice...
217
00:11:32,739 --> 00:11:34,449
(Bell tolls)
218
00:11:36,826 --> 00:11:39,287
(Music drowns speech)
219
00:11:45,793 --> 00:11:48,880
J' So, if you wanna meet
in the halfway
220
00:11:49,005 --> 00:11:50,632
J' Too damn bad
221
00:11:51,341 --> 00:11:55,845
J' I said once bitten, twice shy...
222
00:11:55,970 --> 00:11:57,305
(Horn honks)
223
00:11:57,430 --> 00:12:02,268
- J' I said once bitten, twice shy...
- (Whimpers)
224
00:12:03,436 --> 00:12:04,771
IHuh... J'
225
00:12:04,896 --> 00:12:08,149
I can make darn sure he doesn't get.
I have my ways, you know.
226
00:12:13,905 --> 00:12:15,240
(Engine stops)
227
00:12:17,158 --> 00:12:20,078
- (Man) Keep the kids back, honey.
- Well!
228
00:12:20,203 --> 00:12:22,580
- (Car door closes)
- Ooh! Ooh!
229
00:12:23,790 --> 00:12:25,124
Well, I never!
230
00:12:25,250 --> 00:12:27,710
Yeah, and you never will
with them soup cans on your head.
231
00:12:28,378 --> 00:12:31,673
Listen, young lady, I don't know
who you are or where you came from,
232
00:12:31,798 --> 00:12:34,217
but you most certainly
don't fit in this town.
233
00:12:34,342 --> 00:12:36,302
Why, you don't even fit
in that dress.
234
00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:41,266
Listen, sister, if I want your opinion,
I'll beat it out of ya.
235
00:12:41,391 --> 00:12:43,601
(Yelps) Anita!
236
00:12:43,726 --> 00:12:46,938
Anita! It's the Antichrist, I tell you.
The Antichrist!
237
00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:49,941
Can someone tell me
where there's a garage around here?
238
00:12:50,066 --> 00:12:52,110
Yeah, yeah.
There's one right up the street.
239
00:12:53,069 --> 00:12:54,404
Oh. (Chuckles)
240
00:12:54,529 --> 00:12:57,323
Well, uh, would one of you
big strong men
241
00:12:57,448 --> 00:12:59,951
mind give me a little push?
242
00:13:00,076 --> 00:13:01,411
(Chuckles)
243
00:13:06,541 --> 00:13:08,876
Easy, easy.
Don't scratch the paint.
244
00:13:15,091 --> 00:13:16,426
She's incredible.
245
00:13:16,551 --> 00:13:19,053
And what I wouldn't do
forjust one peek at those gazongas.
246
00:13:19,178 --> 00:13:20,513
They're unreal!
247
00:13:21,139 --> 00:13:24,267
Oh, great!
That means I'm stuck in this hellhole!
248
00:13:24,392 --> 00:13:26,853
I mean, this quaint little hellhole.
249
00:13:26,978 --> 00:13:29,647
Uh, listen, is there a motel
or somethin' around here?
250
00:13:29,772 --> 00:13:34,027
Well, there's the Cozy Cot
down by the widow Bishop's feed store.
251
00:13:34,152 --> 00:13:38,781
Of course, her son sort of took that over
after she had that spell of gingivitis.
252
00:13:38,906 --> 00:13:43,578
Her whole mouth swole up.
It looked like she ate a box of staples.
253
00:13:43,703 --> 00:13:46,998
Folks were saying she got it from kissin'
that old dog of hers. (Chuckles)
254
00:13:50,376 --> 00:13:51,711
Nice tits.
255
00:14:01,429 --> 00:14:02,764
(Door bell rings)
256
00:14:04,724 --> 00:14:06,059
Yoo-hoo!
257
00:14:06,184 --> 00:14:07,810
(TV plays)
258
00:14:08,978 --> 00:14:10,855
- (Bell dings)
- Can I have a room?
259
00:14:16,277 --> 00:14:17,820
Sorry. We're booked solid.
260
00:14:17,945 --> 00:14:19,864
So how it come
it says "vacancy" out there?
261
00:14:25,828 --> 00:14:28,122
Look, we do have a room.
262
00:14:28,247 --> 00:14:29,999
Remember the trucker
with the bad skin
263
00:14:30,124 --> 00:14:31,334
that checked out this morning?
264
00:14:31,459 --> 00:14:33,419
Eew. I hope you changed the sheets.
265
00:14:39,467 --> 00:14:40,802
Hi.
266
00:14:40,927 --> 00:14:43,930
Is that makeup
I see on your face, young lady?
267
00:14:44,055 --> 00:14:46,224
Hm... No, ma'am.
268
00:14:46,349 --> 00:14:48,643
I mean, yes, ma'am.
Well, just a little.
269
00:14:48,768 --> 00:14:52,188
How many times have I told you?
You're too young to wear makeup.
270
00:14:52,313 --> 00:14:54,857
- No, Mother, I don't see the harm...
- Shut up, Leslie!
271
00:14:54,982 --> 00:14:57,193
Grandma, all the other girls at school
are wearing makeup.
272
00:14:57,318 --> 00:15:00,279
Well, if all the other girls at school
jumped off a cliff,
273
00:15:00,405 --> 00:15:01,739
would you jump off a cliff?
274
00:15:01,864 --> 00:15:06,327
You don't have the sense
that you were born with! You have...
275
00:15:06,452 --> 00:15:09,914
I hate to interrupt this little episode
of "The Waltons" but could I get a room?
276
00:15:11,249 --> 00:15:14,210
OK, but it's cash upfront.
277
00:15:14,752 --> 00:15:17,964
I know what you pinko,
heavy metal weirdos
278
00:15:18,089 --> 00:15:19,799
do to motel rooms.
279
00:15:20,466 --> 00:15:22,510
Read all about it in "The Star".
280
00:15:22,635 --> 00:15:24,554
I'll, uh, I'll show the lady
to her room.
281
00:15:24,679 --> 00:15:26,013
Oh, no, you don't!
282
00:15:35,273 --> 00:15:36,899
Hey, don't let them get you down.
283
00:15:37,024 --> 00:15:38,526
I used to get the same line
about makeup
284
00:15:38,651 --> 00:15:40,319
from the nuns
at the orphanage.
285
00:15:40,445 --> 00:15:41,821
Of course, I was only eight.
286
00:15:41,946 --> 00:15:44,782
Uh... I'm Elvira. (Chuckles)
287
00:15:44,907 --> 00:15:46,534
I'm Robin.
288
00:15:46,659 --> 00:15:49,954
So, um, Robin, what's there to do
for fun around here, anyway?
289
00:15:50,663 --> 00:15:53,749
- Hmm. This town isn't real big on fun.
- Hm.
290
00:15:53,875 --> 00:15:57,044
Well, there is one place that's open.
The bowling alley.
291
00:15:57,170 --> 00:15:59,005
That gets real wild
on League Night.
292
00:15:59,130 --> 00:16:02,258
(Chuckles) Gee, I think I can handle it.
293
00:16:11,058 --> 00:16:13,144
Oh, I am so sure.
294
00:16:13,269 --> 00:16:15,229
They must think we're really stupid.
295
00:16:15,354 --> 00:16:17,690
They're gonna kill Spider-Man
with plutonium?
296
00:16:17,815 --> 00:16:19,650
He's got radioactive blood.
297
00:16:20,234 --> 00:16:22,737
Yeah? Let me see that.
298
00:16:26,115 --> 00:16:28,659
- Hey, man. What did you do that for?
- Shut up!
299
00:16:35,750 --> 00:16:38,127
Look at what just walked in.
300
00:16:40,171 --> 00:16:41,839
(Sighs)
301
00:16:45,593 --> 00:16:48,387
Ooh, uh, Bloody Mary.
302
00:16:48,513 --> 00:16:51,432
No hard liquor served past eight o'clock.
Do you want a Virgin?
303
00:16:51,891 --> 00:16:54,936
Uh, maybe, but, uh, I'll have
a couple of drinks first.
304
00:16:55,061 --> 00:16:56,521
Mm. Uh.
305
00:17:07,031 --> 00:17:08,407
Hey, babY-
306
00:17:08,991 --> 00:17:10,576
I got somethin' to show you.
307
00:17:12,119 --> 00:17:14,497
Sorry.
Left my magnifying glass at home.
308
00:17:15,957 --> 00:17:17,750
(Chuckles)
309
00:17:17,875 --> 00:17:20,795
Hey, that's pretty good. Billy...
310
00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:23,756
That is no way to talk to a lady.
311
00:17:23,881 --> 00:17:26,676
So... how about a blowjob?
312
00:17:26,801 --> 00:17:28,719
(Both chuckling)
313
00:17:43,484 --> 00:17:44,819
Ah...
314
00:17:46,112 --> 00:17:49,198
I bet you think that was pretty funny,
dontya?
315
00:17:49,323 --> 00:17:50,324
I enjoyed it.
316
00:17:50,449 --> 00:17:53,035
Yeah? You're gonna enjoy
this even more.
317
00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:54,870
- Uh, uh, uh.
- I'll cut you, man!
318
00:17:55,871 --> 00:17:57,290
Oh! She stabbed me!
319
00:17:58,708 --> 00:18:01,544
- Faked ya out.
- Yeah, well, this ain't fake, baby!
320
00:18:01,669 --> 00:18:03,879
So stand still
cos I'm gonna... I'm gonna...
321
00:18:07,216 --> 00:18:08,593
- (Grunts)
- (Chuckles)
322
00:18:10,344 --> 00:18:14,515
Um, my name is Elvira,
but you can call me... tonight.
323
00:18:15,850 --> 00:18:18,394
Hmm. I'm Bob. Bob Redding.
324
00:18:18,853 --> 00:18:20,271
Pleased to meet you.
325
00:18:21,188 --> 00:18:23,899
Look at this mess.
Who the heck is gonna pay for it?
326
00:18:24,025 --> 00:18:26,277
It's all right, Patty.
I'll take care of the damages.
327
00:18:26,402 --> 00:18:30,156
Seems to me
it's all this cheap little tart's fault.
328
00:18:30,281 --> 00:18:32,283
Cheap? Who are you calling cheap?
329
00:18:32,408 --> 00:18:35,036
What's that perfume you're wearing?
Catch of the day?
330
00:18:35,161 --> 00:18:38,748
Look, honey, I don't know
which hole you crawled out of,
331
00:18:38,873 --> 00:18:42,209
but I suggest you crawl right back in
if you know what's good for you.
332
00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:44,378
Yeah, you better watch out.
333
00:18:44,503 --> 00:18:46,380
You could put somebody's eyes out
with them things.
334
00:18:47,465 --> 00:18:49,258
(Clears throat) Hmm.
335
00:18:49,383 --> 00:18:50,885
- (Patty) Break it up.
- We better go.
336
00:18:54,555 --> 00:18:57,725
It looks like
you've got some competition, Patty.
337
00:18:59,644 --> 00:19:04,023
Charlie, trash
does not compete with class.
338
00:19:06,817 --> 00:19:09,987
Right down the street
at the Cozy Cot.
339
00:19:10,112 --> 00:19:11,447
Oh.
340
00:19:12,114 --> 00:19:13,699
So, what brought you to Fallwell?
341
00:19:13,824 --> 00:19:15,534
Um, my car.
342
00:19:15,660 --> 00:19:17,203
(Both chuckling)
343
00:19:17,328 --> 00:19:20,998
(Clears throat) No, I'm here for the
reading of my great-aunt Morgana's will.
344
00:19:21,582 --> 00:19:24,335
Morgana Talbot? She's your aunt?
345
00:19:25,002 --> 00:19:27,630
Yeah, came as a surprise to me too.
(Chuckles)
346
00:19:27,755 --> 00:19:30,925
I never really knew her,
but I sure admired her spunk.
347
00:19:31,050 --> 00:19:33,844
She never caved in the way
everybody else in this town has.
348
00:19:34,929 --> 00:19:37,306
Well, I don't wanna bore you
with local politics.
349
00:19:37,431 --> 00:19:38,766
(scoffs)
350
00:19:38,891 --> 00:19:41,394
Go ahead. Bore me.
351
00:19:41,519 --> 00:19:45,439
OK, we've got this town council
that lives in mortal fear
352
00:19:45,564 --> 00:19:49,485
that somewhere, somehow, somebody
in Fallwell's having a good time.
353
00:19:49,610 --> 00:19:52,113
Oh.
Bunch of real preservatives, huh?
354
00:19:52,238 --> 00:19:54,115
- (Chuckles)
- Oh. (Chuckles)
355
00:19:54,949 --> 00:19:58,953
- I run the movie house.
- Oh, really? I'm in movies too!
356
00:19:59,078 --> 00:20:02,039
Have you ever shown,
uh, um, "l Married Satan"?
357
00:20:02,164 --> 00:20:03,666
No.
358
00:20:03,791 --> 00:20:06,127
How about the sequel,
"l Married Satan 2?"
359
00:20:06,585 --> 00:20:07,753
No.
360
00:20:09,004 --> 00:20:10,381
Uh... Hm.
361
00:20:11,132 --> 00:20:13,384
I, uh... I can only play G-rated movies.
362
00:20:13,509 --> 00:20:15,886
Oh, well, there's nothing wrong
with G-rated movies,
363
00:20:16,011 --> 00:20:18,472
as long as there's lots
of sex and violence.
364
00:20:18,597 --> 00:20:20,474
Um, hey, listen, Bob. Hmm.
365
00:20:20,599 --> 00:20:22,977
I'm only gonna be in town
for a couple of days
366
00:20:23,102 --> 00:20:26,856
and... I can't think of anyone
who I'd rather squeeze into my...
367
00:20:28,065 --> 00:20:29,859
.“agenda.
368
00:20:30,609 --> 00:20:31,944
Gee, that'd be swell.
369
00:20:38,659 --> 00:20:41,579
(Car door closes, engine starts)
370
00:20:51,922 --> 00:20:53,924
(Birds chirping)
371
00:20:54,550 --> 00:20:56,677
(Woman) Oh, Mr Talbot.
372
00:20:57,303 --> 00:21:01,807
Your sister was like a mother to me.
373
00:21:01,932 --> 00:21:04,143
She was a mother to me too, dear.
374
00:21:04,268 --> 00:21:08,230
Well, now that we've dispensed with
the obligatory display of bereavement,
375
00:21:08,355 --> 00:21:10,733
you may begin the proceedings,
Mr Bigelow.
376
00:21:10,858 --> 00:21:13,152
Uh, it was Mrs Talbot's wish
377
00:21:13,277 --> 00:21:16,238
to have all of her relatives present
for the reading of the will.
378
00:21:16,363 --> 00:21:22,453
All of her relatives are present,
me, myself and I.
379
00:21:22,578 --> 00:21:24,580
(Chuckles nervously)
380
00:21:24,705 --> 00:21:28,292
Well, apparently,
Mrs Talbot has a grand-niece, Elvira,
381
00:21:28,417 --> 00:21:30,836
who was also
one of the beneficiaries.
382
00:21:30,961 --> 00:21:33,339
- That's impossible.
- Uh, uh, well...
383
00:21:33,464 --> 00:21:36,759
- Who is this grand-niece?
- (Door opens)
384
00:21:36,884 --> 00:21:41,096
Hey, guys! Sorry I'm late,
but then so's my aunt! (Chuckles)
385
00:21:41,222 --> 00:21:43,641
Hey, what she die of?
Nothing serious I hope.
386
00:21:43,766 --> 00:21:46,352
Say, nice jacket.
Who shot the couch?
387
00:21:46,477 --> 00:21:49,980
(Chuckles) Hey, is there
a bathroom around here?
388
00:21:50,105 --> 00:21:51,732
I'm telling you the toilet
over the Cozy Cot
389
00:21:51,857 --> 00:21:53,818
looks like somebody's science project.
390
00:21:53,943 --> 00:21:55,945
Who is this woman?
391
00:21:56,070 --> 00:21:59,532
This must be Mrs Talbot's grand-niece.
392
00:22:00,241 --> 00:22:05,412
Uh, Elvira, this is your great-aunt's
brother, Vincent Talbot.
393
00:22:05,538 --> 00:22:08,541
She was my aunt
and you're her brother.
394
00:22:08,666 --> 00:22:12,294
Then you must be my Uncle Vinnie!
395
00:22:12,419 --> 00:22:14,505
Get this woman off of me!
396
00:22:15,297 --> 00:22:18,634
Oh, and you must be
Auntie Em and Uncle Remus.
397
00:22:18,759 --> 00:22:23,013
Oh! There's no place like home!
There's no place like home!
398
00:22:23,138 --> 00:22:26,183
Hurry up, Bigelow.
Let's get on with it!
399
00:22:26,308 --> 00:22:29,186
Yeah, really. Let's get going
before somebody else dies!
400
00:22:29,311 --> 00:22:30,938
(Chuckles)
401
00:22:31,063 --> 00:22:33,107
- (Mutters)
- Ooh.
402
00:22:35,025 --> 00:22:38,529
Hm, uh, "This is the certified
and only last will and testament
403
00:22:38,654 --> 00:22:41,323
"of the deceased Morgana Talbot.
404
00:22:41,448 --> 00:22:45,661
"To my housekeeper, Mrs Morrissey,
for years of loyalty and devotion,
405
00:22:45,786 --> 00:22:49,874
"l leave my silver tea service
and a cash allotment of 5,000 dollars."
406
00:22:49,999 --> 00:22:51,542
- (Snores)
- Oh. (Sobs)
407
00:22:53,419 --> 00:22:55,129
Hey, babe, what you whining about?
408
00:22:55,254 --> 00:22:56,881
You made out like a bandit.
409
00:22:57,506 --> 00:23:00,259
"To Mr Morrissey, my driver,
410
00:23:00,384 --> 00:23:04,513
"l leave my automobile
and an allotment of 5,000 dollars."
411
00:23:04,638 --> 00:23:07,266
VVhoa,dude!
Ten grand just for the help?
412
00:23:07,391 --> 00:23:09,810
Ha! That old gal
must have really been loaded!
413
00:23:09,935 --> 00:23:14,732
Oh, I mean, dear sweet Aunt Morgana
certainly was generous. (Chuckles)
414
00:23:14,857 --> 00:23:17,276
What's it say about me?
What I get? What I get? What I get?
415
00:23:17,401 --> 00:23:19,612
Uh...
416
00:23:19,737 --> 00:23:23,657
- "To my grand-niece Elvira..."
- Come on. Lay it on me, Aunt Morgana.
417
00:23:23,782 --> 00:23:25,993
Big bucks! Big bucks!
418
00:23:26,118 --> 00:23:27,578
Uh, uh...
419
00:23:28,287 --> 00:23:32,791
Uh, uh, "l bequeath my house,
my beloved poodle, Algonquin
420
00:23:32,917 --> 00:23:35,628
- "and my precious book of recipes."
- (Stamps stick)
421
00:23:35,753 --> 00:23:38,464
That's it?
A house, a dog and a book?
422
00:23:40,007 --> 00:23:42,092
Please, if you will allow me to finish.
423
00:23:43,260 --> 00:23:45,930
"And finally, to my dear brother, Vincent,
424
00:23:46,055 --> 00:23:48,849
"l leave the rest of my estate
and holdings
425
00:23:49,308 --> 00:23:51,435
"of which there is none."
426
00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:53,479
Hm.
427
00:23:53,604 --> 00:23:56,732
Where's the cash?
Where's the furniture?
428
00:23:56,857 --> 00:23:58,067
Where's Bob Eubanks?
429
00:24:00,361 --> 00:24:01,904
He wasn't mentioned.
430
00:24:03,489 --> 00:24:05,199
I don't get it, man, uh, boss.
431
00:24:05,324 --> 00:24:07,284
What's so important
about a dumb recipe book?
432
00:24:07,409 --> 00:24:11,038
That dumb recipe book
contains more power
433
00:24:11,163 --> 00:24:13,749
than your feeble little minds
can ever imagine.
434
00:24:13,874 --> 00:24:16,126
And it rightfully belongs to me.
435
00:24:16,251 --> 00:24:18,837
I must have that book.
436
00:24:18,963 --> 00:24:21,215
Great! Just what I need, a house.
437
00:24:21,340 --> 00:24:23,842
I need a house in Fallwell,
like I need a padded bra!
438
00:24:25,302 --> 00:24:27,596
I can't live here!
I'll go crazy, I tell you!
439
00:24:27,721 --> 00:24:29,348
Get... Oh...
440
00:24:29,473 --> 00:24:31,558
(Grunts) Crazy!
441
00:24:31,684 --> 00:24:33,602
(Horn honks, tyres screeching)
442
00:24:34,353 --> 00:24:38,065
- May I offer you a ride?
- Buzz off, creep! I'm not in the mood!
443
00:24:38,190 --> 00:24:40,651
- Oh, it's you, Uncle Vinnie!
- Yes!
444
00:24:41,777 --> 00:24:43,278
Uncle Vinnie.
445
00:24:43,404 --> 00:24:45,739
I must apologise
for my behaviour in the office.
446
00:24:45,864 --> 00:24:49,076
It's just that your appearance
was a bit of a shock to me.
447
00:24:49,201 --> 00:24:51,620
It's OK. My appearance
is kind of a shock to everybody.
448
00:24:51,745 --> 00:24:54,206
Yes, well,
as you may have surmised,
449
00:24:54,331 --> 00:24:59,211
my sister and I, well...
let's just say we... had our differences.
450
00:24:59,920 --> 00:25:02,423
Yeah, I guess.
You really got shafted.
451
00:25:02,923 --> 00:25:04,800
Uh, look,
I'll tell you what, Uncle Vinnie,
452
00:25:04,925 --> 00:25:06,969
um, I'll share my inheritance
with you.
453
00:25:07,094 --> 00:25:09,430
- You can have the dog.
- No! Thank you.
454
00:25:10,556 --> 00:25:13,642
But I would be interested
in acquiring that recipe book.
455
00:25:13,767 --> 00:25:16,979
You know, for sentimental reasons.
I'd be willing to pay you.
456
00:25:17,104 --> 00:25:18,772
Say, 50 dollars.
457
00:25:18,897 --> 00:25:20,899
Hey, sure! I'll do it for fifty bucks.
458
00:25:21,025 --> 00:25:22,359
Oh!
459
00:25:23,444 --> 00:25:24,987
Vinnie, you got yourself
a cookbook.
460
00:25:25,112 --> 00:25:26,780
That lawyer guy
is taking me over to the house,
461
00:25:26,905 --> 00:25:27,990
so you can pick up it later.
462
00:25:28,115 --> 00:25:29,783
Fine. I'll see you there.
463
00:25:30,784 --> 00:25:32,995
- Oh, uh, don't forget to bring the cash.
- Mm-hm.
464
00:25:35,956 --> 00:25:37,291
Drive!
465
00:25:37,416 --> 00:25:40,627
(Elvira) If one of those bottles
should happen to fall... Oh, we're here.
466
00:25:41,879 --> 00:25:43,213
(Engine stops)
467
00:25:44,673 --> 00:25:46,091
(Bicycle bells ring)
468
00:25:46,216 --> 00:25:47,551
(Boy) Wait up!
469
00:25:48,510 --> 00:25:50,512
Hey, this place ain't half bad!
470
00:25:50,637 --> 00:25:52,347
Bet you could get a bundle for it.
471
00:25:52,473 --> 00:25:55,768
Yes, you could,
but your house is over there.
472
00:25:59,063 --> 00:26:00,397
(Sighs)
473
00:26:08,989 --> 00:26:10,449
Ooh, Mr Talbot!
474
00:26:10,574 --> 00:26:14,661
I wanted to thank you for that generous
donation you made to the Morality Club.
475
00:26:14,787 --> 00:26:18,665
- You're quite welcome.
- As I always say, morals aren't cheap.
476
00:26:18,791 --> 00:26:21,668
And speaking of cheap,
uh, a little birdy told me
477
00:26:21,794 --> 00:26:24,963
- that Elvira woman is related to you.
- Mm.
478
00:26:25,089 --> 00:26:29,426
Now, not that it's any of my business,
but then, 'course, everything is.
479
00:26:29,551 --> 00:26:32,513
Believe me, I'm as anxious
to get rid of her as you are.
480
00:26:32,638 --> 00:26:33,639
Oh, good!
481
00:26:33,764 --> 00:26:35,933
You know, because
someone like that comes to town,
482
00:26:36,058 --> 00:26:39,019
the next thing you know they're teaching
sex education in the schools
483
00:26:39,144 --> 00:26:41,438
and they're passing out condoms
to kindergartners.
484
00:26:41,563 --> 00:26:43,357
You remember
when those swarthy fellas...
485
00:26:43,482 --> 00:26:45,776
She won't be with us very long.
486
00:26:46,318 --> 00:26:48,445
Oh. Um...
487
00:26:48,570 --> 00:26:50,656
Uh, why, uh...
488
00:26:51,156 --> 00:26:53,283
Ah, well,
I know I'm needed somewhere.
489
00:26:53,408 --> 00:26:56,078
Chastity Pariah can do.
Bye-bye now.
490
00:26:56,912 --> 00:26:58,914
(Door creaks)
491
00:27:00,791 --> 00:27:02,876
Careful.
Some of the boards are loose.
492
00:27:05,629 --> 00:27:08,090
(sighs) What a dump!
493
00:27:08,215 --> 00:27:11,176
Like I said,
the house needs a little something.
494
00:27:12,052 --> 00:27:14,930
- Yeah! Like a wrecking ball.
- (Dog barks)
495
00:27:18,433 --> 00:27:20,769
I think Algonquin likes you.
496
00:27:20,894 --> 00:27:23,814
Oh... Here, doggie. Go on.
Go chase this into the street.
497
00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:28,485
(Sighs) I can't stand little dogs.
498
00:27:28,610 --> 00:27:30,821
Boy, if my aunt wasn't dead,
I'd kill her!
499
00:27:32,072 --> 00:27:33,907
- Oh.
- (Floorboard creaks)
500
00:27:34,032 --> 00:27:36,577
Sorry, Aunt Morgana.
Just... kidding.
501
00:27:38,370 --> 00:27:40,455
- (Exhales)
- Mm-hm.
502
00:27:41,165 --> 00:27:43,167
Here's the rest of your inheritance.
503
00:27:44,168 --> 00:27:46,044
Your great-aunt's recipe book.
504
00:27:51,175 --> 00:27:53,218
Oh, yeah, some inheritance.
505
00:27:53,343 --> 00:27:55,387
Well, at least
I'm getting 50 bucks for it.
506
00:27:56,346 --> 00:27:58,432
Say, how much you think
I can get for this place?
507
00:27:58,557 --> 00:28:02,436
Well, even though the house
is in disrepair, it is in a prime location.
508
00:28:02,561 --> 00:28:05,606
I'd venture to say
you could get, uh, 70,000.
509
00:28:05,731 --> 00:28:08,692
- 70 grand?
- Maybe more, if it were fixed up.
510
00:28:08,817 --> 00:28:11,778
- Would you be interested in selling?
- Does a chicken have a pecker?
511
00:28:11,904 --> 00:28:13,238
'Course I'm interested!
512
00:28:13,363 --> 00:28:14,948
(M utters)
513
00:28:16,575 --> 00:28:17,951
(Floorboards creaking)
514
00:28:18,869 --> 00:28:20,579
(Door creaks, closes)
515
00:28:21,246 --> 00:28:23,957
(Tuts) Now, what am I gonna do
with you?
516
00:28:24,833 --> 00:28:26,418
(Whimpers)
517
00:28:33,634 --> 00:28:35,636
(Exhales) That's more like it, Algonquin.
518
00:28:35,761 --> 00:28:37,262
' (Whimpers)
- (Tuts)
519
00:28:37,387 --> 00:28:40,015
Algonquin... What a sissy name.
520
00:28:40,891 --> 00:28:42,893
Let's see. What do I call ya?
521
00:28:43,018 --> 00:28:45,520
I know! Gonk.
How do you like that?
522
00:28:45,646 --> 00:28:47,397
(Snarls)
523
00:28:48,857 --> 00:28:50,192
(Barks)
524
00:28:55,239 --> 00:28:56,698
(Knocking on door)
525
00:28:57,950 --> 00:28:59,701
Yeah, hold your horses.
526
00:28:59,826 --> 00:29:01,620
(Knocking on door)
527
00:29:03,288 --> 00:29:06,541
Hi, Uncle Vinnie! You're here
for the book, right? Come on in!
528
00:29:06,667 --> 00:29:08,335
Can I make you a cup of tea
or somethin'?
529
00:29:08,460 --> 00:29:10,337
I wouldn't want to put you
to any trouble.
530
00:29:10,462 --> 00:29:11,922
Mm. Good point.
531
00:29:12,047 --> 00:29:14,007
I can't stay very long, anyway.
532
00:29:14,132 --> 00:29:16,426
Say, you don't wanna buy a house,
would ya?
533
00:29:16,551 --> 00:29:18,428
- I'm afraid not.
- I'll sell it to you cheap.
534
00:29:18,553 --> 00:29:20,138
Uh, no, thank you.
535
00:29:20,264 --> 00:29:22,140
They don't make houses
like this any more.
536
00:29:22,266 --> 00:29:24,059
I mean, look at that detailing.
537
00:29:24,184 --> 00:29:27,562
Look at the craftsmanship! Uh...
538
00:29:27,688 --> 00:29:29,106
What would you pay
for a house like this?
539
00:29:29,231 --> 00:29:30,983
Don't answer
because you not only get a house.
540
00:29:31,108 --> 00:29:34,111
If you act right now,
you also get all this beautiful furniture!
541
00:29:34,236 --> 00:29:36,571
Now what would you pay?
I'm telling you it's a jewel box.
542
00:29:36,697 --> 00:29:38,365
It's a gem, a love hutch for two.
543
00:29:38,490 --> 00:29:39,908
I'll bend over backwards
to make you a deal.
544
00:29:40,033 --> 00:29:43,120
I'll bend over forwards...
I'd stand on my head and...
545
00:29:43,245 --> 00:29:45,747
(Yells) No! Just the book!
546
00:29:47,165 --> 00:29:49,918
OK. I mean,
if you're gonna get crabby about it...
547
00:29:51,503 --> 00:29:53,213
(Floorboards creaking)
548
00:29:53,338 --> 00:29:55,340
(Clock ticks)
549
00:29:57,175 --> 00:30:00,554
That's weird. I would have sworn
the book was just on that table.
550
00:30:00,679 --> 00:30:02,764
You promised me that book!
551
00:30:02,889 --> 00:30:05,100
Hey, don't get your panties
in a bunch.
552
00:30:05,225 --> 00:30:07,352
It didn'tjust walk away.
I'm sure it'll turn up.
553
00:30:07,477 --> 00:30:08,895
Yes!
554
00:30:09,563 --> 00:30:11,148
Of course, it will.
555
00:30:12,607 --> 00:30:13,942
Forgive me.
556
00:30:16,570 --> 00:30:18,822
(Barks, growls)
557
00:30:18,947 --> 00:30:20,699
Hmm. Thinks he's a pitbull.
558
00:30:21,992 --> 00:30:23,618
(Snarls)
559
00:30:24,536 --> 00:30:26,538
(Thunderclaps)
560
00:30:28,999 --> 00:30:30,667
(Sighs)
561
00:30:31,251 --> 00:30:33,295
(Bed creaks)
562
00:30:33,420 --> 00:30:35,714
(Exhales) Good thing
I'm not gonna be here very long.
563
00:30:35,839 --> 00:30:37,841
The neighbours would never get
any sleep.
564
00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:40,927
(Thunder rumbles, thunderclap)
565
00:30:43,221 --> 00:30:44,556
Ah!
566
00:30:45,140 --> 00:30:48,268
About time, doofus.
Did you bring the camera?
567
00:30:48,393 --> 00:30:50,479
- Do I look like an idiot?
- Want me to answer that?
568
00:30:50,604 --> 00:30:52,564
Shut up, you guys!
She's gonna hear us.
569
00:31:01,073 --> 00:31:02,532
(Mirror squeaks)
570
00:31:04,618 --> 00:31:06,536
Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
571
00:31:06,661 --> 00:31:09,831
who's the most drop-dead gorgeous
one of all?
572
00:31:09,956 --> 00:31:12,918
(Chuckles) Oh, you're just saying that.
573
00:31:13,043 --> 00:31:14,419
Hmm.
574
00:31:17,130 --> 00:31:19,257
(Thunderclap)
575
00:31:28,058 --> 00:31:29,476
(indistinct chatter)
576
00:31:31,728 --> 00:31:33,980
(Grunts) Crap.
577
00:31:34,898 --> 00:31:37,234
- (Boy #1) What do you see?
- (Boy #2) In a minute, in a minute.
578
00:31:37,359 --> 00:31:38,693
Ow! My fingers.
579
00:31:38,819 --> 00:31:41,113
- Guys, I can't see...
- In a minute.
580
00:31:42,614 --> 00:31:45,033
(Boy #1) Wait. God, it's cold out.
581
00:31:46,243 --> 00:31:47,577
Whoa.
582
00:31:53,417 --> 00:31:55,419
Don't drop it. Ow, ow.
583
00:32:01,174 --> 00:32:02,592
Ow! Let me see.
584
00:32:14,938 --> 00:32:17,274
- Awesome!
- (Camera shutter clicks)
585
00:32:17,399 --> 00:32:19,151
Whoa!
586
00:32:19,276 --> 00:32:20,694
L gQt ya.
587
00:32:22,154 --> 00:32:24,156
(indistinct chatter)
588
00:32:24,281 --> 00:32:25,699
Did you get it?
589
00:32:26,450 --> 00:32:29,744
- (Screams)
- Bo!
590
00:32:30,579 --> 00:32:32,831
Haven't you boys got someplace else
to hang around?
591
00:32:32,956 --> 00:32:36,084
Uh, we heard you might need a little help
fixing up the place.
592
00:32:36,209 --> 00:32:37,752
Hmm. That's very thoughtful,
593
00:32:37,878 --> 00:32:40,297
but why don't you come back
when the light's better?
594
00:32:40,422 --> 00:32:41,923
Good night!
595
00:32:42,048 --> 00:32:44,176
(Boys screaming)
596
00:32:47,429 --> 00:32:50,140
- You blew it!
- Did you see those gazongas?
597
00:32:50,265 --> 00:32:52,851
- Some.
- I got it!
598
00:32:52,976 --> 00:32:54,311
- Gmm!
- All right!
599
00:32:55,395 --> 00:32:57,022
(Thunderclap)
600
00:33:03,320 --> 00:33:05,030
(Woman) 'Elvira.
601
00:33:09,159 --> 00:33:10,911
'Elvira.
602
00:33:20,879 --> 00:33:22,672
'Elvira.
603
00:33:32,599 --> 00:33:34,434
'Elvira.'
604
00:33:46,863 --> 00:33:48,532
(Door creaks)
605
00:34:00,669 --> 00:34:02,087
(Tinkling)
606
00:34:02,546 --> 00:34:04,005
(Screams)
607
00:34:05,090 --> 00:34:06,550
(Gasps)
608
00:34:08,218 --> 00:34:10,220
(Thunderclap)
609
00:34:10,345 --> 00:34:12,347
(Pants)
610
00:34:12,889 --> 00:34:14,224
(Exhales deeply)
611
00:34:15,559 --> 00:34:17,352
(Sighs)
612
00:34:17,477 --> 00:34:19,980
Oh, out, out, out! Out!
613
00:34:20,105 --> 00:34:21,439
(Barks)
614
00:34:26,611 --> 00:34:28,947
(Sighs, exhales)
615
00:34:29,072 --> 00:34:31,074
(Thunderclap)
616
00:34:34,703 --> 00:34:36,246
(Birds chirping)
617
00:34:37,122 --> 00:34:38,498
(Exhales)
618
00:34:42,252 --> 00:34:43,587
- Hi, Elvira.
- Hi.
619
00:34:44,087 --> 00:34:45,422
Oh, hi. You're here.
620
00:34:45,547 --> 00:34:48,675
Richard's folks run the hardware store.
And we got lots of paint.
621
00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:51,469
Oh, do you?
Too bad they don't own the bank.
622
00:34:51,595 --> 00:34:53,138
Uh, I'll be right down.
623
00:34:55,557 --> 00:34:57,392
- Let's do it!
- (I LARRY WRIGHT: "Shout")
624
00:34:57,517 --> 00:34:58,685
J' You know you make me
wanna shout
625
00:34:58,810 --> 00:35:00,145
J' Kick my heels up and shout
626
00:35:00,270 --> 00:35:01,855
J' Throw my hands up and shout...
627
00:35:02,564 --> 00:35:05,317
Hey, Elvira,
we got us a couple more volunteers.
628
00:35:06,192 --> 00:35:08,486
Great! Just grab a tool
and start banging! Hmm.
629
00:35:08,612 --> 00:35:10,655
J' Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
630
00:35:10,780 --> 00:35:12,532
J' Say you will
631
00:35:12,657 --> 00:35:14,117
J' Say it right now, baby
632
00:35:14,242 --> 00:35:15,577
J' Come on, come on
633
00:35:15,702 --> 00:35:18,163
J' Say you will
634
00:35:18,288 --> 00:35:19,623
J' Say...
635
00:35:20,415 --> 00:35:22,959
- Hi, Elvira.
- Hi, Robin. Come on in.
636
00:35:23,543 --> 00:35:25,045
J' Say that you need me
637
00:35:25,170 --> 00:35:26,755
J' You wanna please me
638
00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:29,007
J' Come on now, come on now...
639
00:35:29,132 --> 00:35:31,509
(Robin) Randy,
can you get me that rag?
640
00:35:32,761 --> 00:35:34,346
Randy!
641
00:35:34,471 --> 00:35:37,182
Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure.
642
00:35:37,307 --> 00:35:39,851
J' I still remember
when you used to be nine years old...
643
00:35:41,645 --> 00:35:43,396
Young lady!
644
00:35:44,356 --> 00:35:48,109
Robin Meeker, what in the name
of damnation are you doing here?
645
00:35:48,234 --> 00:35:50,320
- You're gonna pay...
- Robin!
646
00:35:50,445 --> 00:35:52,447
I'm gonna find out about this,
youngladyl
647
00:35:52,572 --> 00:35:54,115
- Robin!
- Come over here!
648
00:35:54,240 --> 00:35:56,284
When are you gonna learn
to do what you're told?
649
00:35:56,409 --> 00:35:59,454
If you're not gonna do what you're told,
you're gonna end up on...
650
00:35:59,579 --> 00:36:01,289
J' You know you make me
wanna shout
651
00:36:01,414 --> 00:36:03,124
J' Lift my head up and shout
652
00:36:03,249 --> 00:36:05,001
J' Throw my hands back and shout
653
00:36:05,126 --> 00:36:06,461
J' Come on now, shout
654
00:36:06,586 --> 00:36:08,838
J' Come on now, shout
655
00:36:08,963 --> 00:36:10,465
J' All right now, shout
656
00:36:10,590 --> 00:36:12,258
J' Come on now, shout
657
00:36:12,384 --> 00:36:13,760
J' Come on, yeah, shout
658
00:36:13,885 --> 00:36:15,303
J' Come on now, shout
659
00:36:15,428 --> 00:36:16,971
J' Come on, yeah, shout
660
00:36:17,097 --> 00:36:18,473
J' Come on, shout
661
00:36:18,598 --> 00:36:20,058
J' Come on, shout...
662
00:36:20,183 --> 00:36:21,768
(Elvira) Lemonade!
663
00:36:21,893 --> 00:36:23,228
J' Come on now, shout
664
00:36:23,353 --> 00:36:24,688
J' Come on, yeah, shout
665
00:36:24,813 --> 00:36:26,398
J' Come on now, shout...
666
00:36:27,315 --> 00:36:28,942
(Crowd mutters)
667
00:36:30,652 --> 00:36:31,986
It's fabulous!
668
00:36:32,112 --> 00:36:34,447
J' You know you make me
wanna shout...
669
00:36:34,572 --> 00:36:35,907
(Cheering, whooping)
670
00:36:36,032 --> 00:36:39,160
J' Come on now, shout... J'
671
00:36:39,285 --> 00:36:41,121
I tell you, I nearly died.
672
00:36:41,246 --> 00:36:43,915
There she was parading around
in clothes
673
00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:46,793
that couldn't keep
a titmouse dry in a drizzle.
674
00:36:46,918 --> 00:36:49,045
I mean, it was next to nothin'!
675
00:36:50,046 --> 00:36:51,715
I'd say it was next to plenty.
676
00:36:52,257 --> 00:36:57,929
And she had half the teenagers in town
writhing around to thatjungle music!
677
00:36:58,054 --> 00:37:03,852
And this morning on my regular tour
of the boys lavatory I confiscated this!
678
00:37:06,396 --> 00:37:08,106
Hm.
679
00:37:10,567 --> 00:37:12,736
I'll be making the announcement
this afternoon.
680
00:37:12,861 --> 00:37:17,282
Henceforth, all students
will be subject to immediate expulsion
681
00:37:17,407 --> 00:37:20,994
if there are found
in the company of that floozy!
682
00:37:21,119 --> 00:37:24,873
Please, I don't think we need
to resort to name-calling.
683
00:37:24,998 --> 00:37:26,750
I think what Calvin is trying to say
684
00:37:26,875 --> 00:37:31,171
is that this Elvira
is a person of easy virtue,
685
00:37:31,296 --> 00:37:33,339
a purveyor of pulchritude,
686
00:37:33,465 --> 00:37:36,009
one woman's Sodom and Gomorrah,
if you will.
687
00:37:36,551 --> 00:37:40,638
A slimy, slithering succubus,
a concubine,
688
00:37:40,764 --> 00:37:44,017
a street walker, a tramp,
a slut, a cheap whore!
689
00:37:45,894 --> 00:37:49,355
She'll be nothing but a bad dream
just as soon as she sells that property.
690
00:37:49,481 --> 00:37:51,399
An open house
has been planned for tomorrow.
691
00:37:51,524 --> 00:37:53,818
But what if she decides not to sell?
692
00:37:54,402 --> 00:37:56,696
What if she decides to settle here?
693
00:37:56,821 --> 00:37:59,073
Well, if she is morally unfit,
694
00:37:59,199 --> 00:38:02,702
then we have every right to do anything
we can to get her out of this town.
695
00:38:02,827 --> 00:38:05,121
- Are we agreed?
- Absolutely.
696
00:38:05,246 --> 00:38:07,665
Maybe we're not being
entirely objective about this.
697
00:38:07,791 --> 00:38:09,334
Shut up, Leslie!
698
00:38:09,459 --> 00:38:11,044
Then it's unanimous.
699
00:38:13,546 --> 00:38:16,299
Harold Glotter, Fallwell Real Estate.
700
00:38:17,133 --> 00:38:18,635
Well, I sure hope you got a buyer.
701
00:38:19,427 --> 00:38:21,387
I haven't had so much
as a lookie-loo.
702
00:38:21,513 --> 00:38:22,847
Don't worry.
703
00:38:22,972 --> 00:38:24,390
(Clock ticks)
704
00:38:25,225 --> 00:38:28,269
I have some wealthy investors friends
who'd buy this house in a minute.
705
00:38:28,394 --> 00:38:31,022
That is... if you play your cards right.
706
00:38:31,147 --> 00:38:34,192
Oh! Honey, I'd do anything
to get rid of this rat trap.
707
00:38:34,317 --> 00:38:37,070
Hm. That's what I like,
a motivated seller.
708
00:38:37,862 --> 00:38:39,447
It's all a matter of technique.
709
00:38:39,572 --> 00:38:41,866
For starters, let's try and...
710
00:38:43,827 --> 00:38:45,453
...set the proper mood.
711
00:38:45,578 --> 00:38:46,996
Oh, good idea. Hmm.
712
00:38:47,121 --> 00:38:48,790
I mean, the less they see,
the better.
713
00:38:49,666 --> 00:38:52,585
Then it's usually a matter
of getting close to the buyer.
714
00:38:52,710 --> 00:38:55,296
Tell him all about
the potential appreciation.
715
00:38:55,421 --> 00:38:58,675
Then guide him
through every nook and cranny.
716
00:38:58,800 --> 00:39:02,971
Slowly unveil everything
from the balcony to the basement.
717
00:39:03,096 --> 00:39:04,430
One area at a time.
718
00:39:04,556 --> 00:39:06,641
When he's so enthralled,
he's ready to burst,
719
00:39:06,766 --> 00:39:09,602
you... clinch the deal!
720
00:39:10,103 --> 00:39:11,813
(Groans) Ow!
721
00:39:11,938 --> 00:39:14,941
You'll be sorry!
You'll never sell this place without me!
722
00:39:15,692 --> 00:39:19,529
Just because this house is up for grabs
doesn't mean I am!
723
00:39:19,654 --> 00:39:21,322
(G rowls, barks)
724
00:39:21,447 --> 00:39:23,241
Ah! Get this dog off!
725
00:39:23,783 --> 00:39:25,201
Ah!
726
00:39:27,495 --> 00:39:29,163
Get back! Get outta here!
727
00:39:53,730 --> 00:39:55,356
(Phone rings)
728
00:40:02,739 --> 00:40:04,908
"Calm down, Manny", she says!
729
00:40:05,033 --> 00:40:06,951
I've got the Flamingo
breathing down my neck
730
00:40:07,076 --> 00:40:10,580
to cough up the dough
and you're telling me to calm down?
731
00:40:10,705 --> 00:40:12,957
I told ya,
I'll come up with the money.
732
00:40:13,082 --> 00:40:16,878
Heck, I was just... six inches
from selling this house today.
733
00:40:17,003 --> 00:40:21,299
Look, kid, you better get that money
here pronto or you're through.
734
00:40:21,424 --> 00:40:22,425
Do you hear me?
735
00:40:22,550 --> 00:40:25,929
The only showroom you'll see in Vegas
will have Toyotas in it.
736
00:40:26,054 --> 00:40:27,513
(Hangs UP)
737
00:40:30,058 --> 00:40:32,477
(I WASHINGTON: "Town Without Pity")
738
00:40:37,190 --> 00:40:41,069
And now I understand
she is out looking for a job?
739
00:40:41,736 --> 00:40:45,156
J' When you're young
and so in love as we...
740
00:40:45,281 --> 00:40:47,116
(Voices in fast-forward)
741
00:40:47,241 --> 00:40:51,955
J' And bewildered
by the world we see...
742
00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:53,957
- (Engine starts)
- Let's go.
743
00:40:54,082 --> 00:40:56,584
J' How can people hurt us so
744
00:40:56,709 --> 00:40:59,671
J' Only those in love
would know
745
00:40:59,796 --> 00:41:04,467
J' What a town without pity
can do
746
00:41:05,176 --> 00:41:09,973
J' If we stop to gaze upon a star
747
00:41:11,557 --> 00:41:16,020
J' People talk
about how bad we are...
748
00:41:17,522 --> 00:41:19,857
There's no book upstairs,
but I found these panties.
749
00:41:19,983 --> 00:41:21,985
Try one. They're edible.
750
00:41:24,529 --> 00:41:26,406
(M utters)
751
00:41:28,157 --> 00:41:29,742
Now, keep lookin'!
752
00:41:31,494 --> 00:41:32,829
(Gonk growls)
753
00:41:32,954 --> 00:41:35,623
(Pants, barks)
754
00:41:39,627 --> 00:41:41,921
- Huh!
_ (GTOWIs)
755
00:41:42,422 --> 00:41:43,965
(Billy) Hey, up!
756
00:41:46,050 --> 00:41:47,385
(Snarls)
757
00:41:47,510 --> 00:41:50,013
Excuses,excuses.
758
00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:54,267
- We turned the place inside out.
- Yeah, and tell him about the dog.
759
00:41:55,518 --> 00:41:57,812
Well, it must have been the size
of a water buffalo.
760
00:41:57,937 --> 00:41:59,272
(Shouts) Quiet!
761
00:42:01,149 --> 00:42:03,151
Now, listen to me very carefully.
762
00:42:03,276 --> 00:42:06,821
Go to the courthouse and remove
all the records of the town ordinances
763
00:42:06,946 --> 00:42:08,573
and bring them back to me.
764
00:42:08,698 --> 00:42:10,116
Do you understand?
765
00:42:10,241 --> 00:42:11,576
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
766
00:42:11,701 --> 00:42:13,161
Then get out!
767
00:42:19,792 --> 00:42:21,669
- (Whimpers)
- Come here, dummy.
768
00:42:21,794 --> 00:42:24,255
(Door opens, closes)
769
00:42:24,380 --> 00:42:25,757
(Voices in fast-forward)
770
00:42:25,882 --> 00:42:30,386
J' Can be real,
a town without pity...
771
00:42:30,511 --> 00:42:32,138
Oh.
772
00:42:32,263 --> 00:42:33,598
(Horn honks, tyres screeching)
773
00:42:33,723 --> 00:42:37,894
J' Can do J'
774
00:42:43,149 --> 00:42:44,484
Ow!
775
00:42:45,068 --> 00:42:47,945
Oh, my gosh! Elvira, I'm sorry.
776
00:42:48,613 --> 00:42:50,990
- Are you all right?
- Yeah, I think so.
777
00:42:51,115 --> 00:42:54,160
- How's your head?
- I haven't had any complaints yet.
778
00:42:54,285 --> 00:42:55,703
Excuse me?
779
00:42:56,788 --> 00:43:01,375
Oh, I'll live. Believe me, it's not the
worst thing that's happened to me today.
780
00:43:01,501 --> 00:43:04,170
I mean, every place in this town
and no one will give me a job!
781
00:43:04,295 --> 00:43:07,548
It's... it's like it's a conspiracy
or something.
782
00:43:08,591 --> 00:43:11,302
You know what your problem is?
Chastity Pariah.
783
00:43:11,427 --> 00:43:13,596
(Gasps) Ooh, I thought
that cleared up.
784
00:43:13,721 --> 00:43:16,557
No! Chastity Pariah.
She's the old biddy.
785
00:43:16,682 --> 00:43:18,601
She's got the whole town
turned against you.
786
00:43:18,726 --> 00:43:20,061
Oh, swell!
787
00:43:20,186 --> 00:43:22,814
So now no one will hire me
and I'm flat busted!
788
00:43:23,773 --> 00:43:27,235
Uh, no, I mean I'm broke. (Sighs)
789
00:43:27,360 --> 00:43:28,694
I'd hire you ifl could,
790
00:43:28,820 --> 00:43:31,489
but I'm barely make enough money
to stay in business as it is.
791
00:43:31,614 --> 00:43:33,324
Duh! I'm not surprised.
792
00:43:33,449 --> 00:43:36,494
I mean, who wants to pay
to see some quack making duck calls?
793
00:43:37,036 --> 00:43:40,790
And, besides that, Bob,
you got an extra "E" in "matinée".
794
00:43:40,915 --> 00:43:43,251
No, I don't. That's how you spell it.
795
00:43:43,376 --> 00:43:47,171
Uh, Bob, I'm in show business.
I think I know how to spell "matinée".
796
00:43:48,714 --> 00:43:51,467
- Well, I think it's a good idea.
- Mm.
797
00:43:57,348 --> 00:43:58,683
(Gasps)
798
00:44:00,434 --> 00:44:02,019
(G roans)
799
00:44:02,145 --> 00:44:03,646
(Screams)
800
00:44:10,153 --> 00:44:13,114
Oh, Bob, how can I ever repay you?
801
00:44:13,239 --> 00:44:14,949
Here. Let me try.
802
00:44:16,742 --> 00:44:18,369
- That witch!
- (Engine starts)
803
00:44:18,494 --> 00:44:19,954
(Tyres screeching)
804
00:44:28,004 --> 00:44:29,964
l-| guess I better get back to work.
805
00:44:30,089 --> 00:44:31,674
Uh, the matinée's gonna start soon.
806
00:44:31,799 --> 00:44:35,052
Mm. Oh, yeah.
I can see the crowds lining up now.
807
00:44:35,178 --> 00:44:39,390
Bobby, baby, you are gonna go broke
showing turkeys like these.
808
00:44:40,850 --> 00:44:42,560
You gotta a better idea?
809
00:44:42,685 --> 00:44:47,773
(Scoffs) ltjust so happens that I have
some of the classic films of all time
810
00:44:47,899 --> 00:44:49,817
in the trunk of my car.
811
00:44:50,818 --> 00:44:52,987
As a matter of fact...
812
00:45:34,737 --> 00:45:41,327
(Speaks in paranormal language)
813
00:45:42,620 --> 00:45:44,914
He who holds the book of sight,
814
00:45:45,039 --> 00:45:48,209
when the moon is drained
of all its light,
815
00:45:48,334 --> 00:45:50,544
will then be ruler of the night,
816
00:45:50,670 --> 00:45:53,214
Master of the Dark!
817
00:45:54,924 --> 00:45:57,301
The lunar eclipse, Morgana.
818
00:45:57,927 --> 00:46:00,263
It's less than a week away.
819
00:46:00,846 --> 00:46:05,142
When the moon
is drained of all its light...
820
00:46:07,979 --> 00:46:09,563
(Rattling)
821
00:46:10,356 --> 00:46:13,067
There is nothing you can do!
822
00:46:13,943 --> 00:46:16,904
You're dead and I'm not!
823
00:46:17,029 --> 00:46:19,031
(Cackles)
824
00:46:32,962 --> 00:46:34,839
Oh! There you are!
825
00:46:34,964 --> 00:46:36,757
I have been looking all over
for you guys.
826
00:46:36,882 --> 00:46:39,385
You are not gonna believe
the good news.
827
00:46:39,510 --> 00:46:43,973
Yours truly is hosting a special
midnight screening at Bob's theatre
828
00:46:44,098 --> 00:46:46,183
of one of the worst movies
ever made!
829
00:46:46,892 --> 00:46:48,602
I mean, it is bad.
830
00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:55,276
You know, like bad as in bad!
Like, "l'm bad, Jamal, you know it."
831
00:46:56,235 --> 00:46:59,864
Hey, what is this?
"lnvasion of the Body Snatchers"?
832
00:46:59,989 --> 00:47:01,782
Two days ago
we were bosom buddies.
833
00:47:01,907 --> 00:47:03,242
(Robin) It's the principal.
834
00:47:03,367 --> 00:47:06,412
Darn right it's the principle.
Friends ought to stick together.
835
00:47:06,537 --> 00:47:09,040
No. I mean, the principal, Mr Cobb.
836
00:47:09,165 --> 00:47:11,208
(Randy) He'd kill us
if we went to your show.
837
00:47:11,334 --> 00:47:12,793
Not to mention our parents.
838
00:47:12,918 --> 00:47:14,837
Kill your parents too?
839
00:47:14,962 --> 00:47:17,923
No, our parents would never
let us stay out that late.
840
00:47:18,883 --> 00:47:20,968
Oh. Hmm. I see.
841
00:47:22,136 --> 00:47:26,223
Well, the last thing I wanna do
is get you guys in any trouble.
842
00:47:27,224 --> 00:47:31,020
I mean, so what if it blows
my only chance at making a living?
843
00:47:32,021 --> 00:47:33,814
I mean, that's not your problem.
Hmm.
844
00:47:33,939 --> 00:47:36,650
And if I get so depressed,
845
00:47:36,776 --> 00:47:40,112
I... wind up hanging myself
in the oven?
846
00:47:41,155 --> 00:47:43,491
Heck! Those are the breaks.
847
00:47:46,619 --> 00:47:48,245
But if they ever ask about me,
848
00:47:48,371 --> 00:47:50,956
tell 'em I was more
than just a great set of boobs.
849
00:47:52,291 --> 00:47:54,502
I was also an incredible pair of legs.
850
00:47:55,920 --> 00:47:58,839
And tell 'em, tell 'em
that I never turned down a friend.
851
00:48:00,883 --> 00:48:03,177
I... never turned down a stranger,
for that matter.
852
00:48:04,261 --> 00:48:07,139
And tell 'em, tell 'em
that when all is said and done,
853
00:48:07,264 --> 00:48:11,185
I only ask that people
remember me by two simple words.
854
00:48:14,563 --> 00:48:17,400
Any two, as... long as they're simple.
855
00:48:18,442 --> 00:48:20,069
(Pretends to sob)
856
00:48:24,907 --> 00:48:27,743
If we all decide to help Elvira,
what can Cobb do?
857
00:48:27,868 --> 00:48:29,620
He can expel us all.
858
00:48:30,454 --> 00:48:34,125
I do not know about rest of you,
but I'll be there.
859
00:48:34,250 --> 00:48:36,252
(Elvira wails)
860
00:48:38,295 --> 00:48:41,132
- Me too.
- Count on me.
861
00:48:42,758 --> 00:48:44,885
- We're sorry, Elvira.
- (Wails)
862
00:48:45,010 --> 00:48:46,554
We'll all come to your show.
863
00:48:46,679 --> 00:48:48,639
(Stops wailing)
864
00:48:48,764 --> 00:48:52,726
Great. 12 o'clock sharp.
Be there or be square.
865
00:48:55,438 --> 00:48:57,440
(indistinct chatter)
866
00:49:01,026 --> 00:49:02,361
Shh.
867
00:49:23,632 --> 00:49:25,217
(Exhales)
868
00:49:26,969 --> 00:49:28,387
(Grunts)
869
00:49:33,809 --> 00:49:34,935
(Grunts)
870
00:49:53,078 --> 00:49:54,455
(Ripping)
871
00:50:19,939 --> 00:50:21,357
Oh, that looks great!
872
00:50:21,482 --> 00:50:22,816
- You really like it?
- Yeah.
873
00:50:22,942 --> 00:50:25,569
- Elvira, where do you want this?
- Um, just right up there.
874
00:50:25,694 --> 00:50:27,738
- OK.
- What's the bucket for?
875
00:50:27,863 --> 00:50:30,699
I tell you, oh, it's so cool!
876
00:50:30,824 --> 00:50:32,826
This is the part
that I ripped off, uh, um...
877
00:50:32,952 --> 00:50:34,912
Was in inspired by "Flashdance".
878
00:50:35,037 --> 00:50:37,915
I reach up, I pull this rope
879
00:50:38,040 --> 00:50:42,628
and my entire body
is covered in gold glitter!
880
00:50:42,753 --> 00:50:44,713
- Couldn't you die?
- All right!
881
00:50:44,838 --> 00:50:47,883
Oh, Bob, I'm telling you,
it's a guaranteed standing ovulation.
882
00:50:55,057 --> 00:50:56,684
(Bell dings)
883
00:51:05,818 --> 00:51:07,570
(Overlapping chatter)
884
00:51:11,282 --> 00:51:12,908
(Laughter)
885
00:51:16,662 --> 00:51:17,997
You're late.
886
00:51:18,998 --> 00:51:21,166
(Elvira) When the guy gets purée.
887
00:51:22,668 --> 00:51:24,003
Don't worry. They're Italian.
888
00:51:24,128 --> 00:51:26,338
They'll wind up making
a great marinara sauce.
889
00:51:26,463 --> 00:51:28,465
(Laughter, overlapping chatter)
890
00:51:32,886 --> 00:51:34,263
Robin?
891
00:51:36,557 --> 00:51:38,309
Is that you?
892
00:51:39,560 --> 00:51:40,894
Man!
893
00:51:41,937 --> 00:51:43,897
Oh, this is where the heroine
gets grabbed by the tomatoes!
894
00:51:44,023 --> 00:51:45,065
I can't watch!
895
00:52:00,623 --> 00:52:02,291
(Screams)
896
00:52:05,127 --> 00:52:07,129
(Raucous laughter)
897
00:52:12,384 --> 00:52:13,761
(Chuckles)
898
00:52:13,886 --> 00:52:15,429
Boy, this ending's so bad,
899
00:52:15,554 --> 00:52:18,474
the tomatoes ought to start
throwing rotten people at the screen.
900
00:52:21,477 --> 00:52:23,354
(Crowd cheers, whoops, whistles)
901
00:52:29,860 --> 00:52:33,030
Hey, darlings, don't move
because the best is yet to come.
902
00:52:33,155 --> 00:52:37,493
Ladies and Dobermans,
it's time for the grand finale!
903
00:52:38,994 --> 00:52:40,913
(I RICK GERSHAW: "Maniac")
904
00:52:51,215 --> 00:52:54,176
J' Just a steel town girl
on a Saturday night
905
00:52:54,301 --> 00:52:56,762
J' Lookin' for the fight of her life
906
00:52:57,554 --> 00:53:00,391
J' In the real-time world
no one sees her at all
907
00:53:00,516 --> 00:53:03,185
J' They all say she's crazy
908
00:53:03,310 --> 00:53:06,230
J' Locking rhythms
to the beat of her heart
909
00:53:06,355 --> 00:53:09,066
J' Changing movement into light
910
00:53:09,191 --> 00:53:12,778
J' She has danced
into the danger zone
911
00:53:12,903 --> 00:53:15,030
J' When the dancer
becomes a dance
912
00:53:16,824 --> 00:53:18,992
J' It can cut you like a knife
913
00:53:19,118 --> 00:53:22,830
J' If the gift becomes the fire
914
00:53:22,955 --> 00:53:27,710
J' On a wire between will
and what will be
915
00:53:27,835 --> 00:53:32,673
J' She's a maniac, maniac
on the floor... J'
916
00:53:32,798 --> 00:53:34,133
(Gasps)
917
00:53:34,258 --> 00:53:36,885
(Groans, exhales)
918
00:53:41,432 --> 00:53:43,434
(Grunts, splutters)
919
00:53:45,602 --> 00:53:47,813
- (Cackles)
- (Elvira) Patty! Ugh!
920
00:53:49,148 --> 00:53:50,482
(Exhales deeply)
921
00:53:55,946 --> 00:53:59,241
Ugh, I have never been
so humiliated in my entire life!
922
00:53:59,825 --> 00:54:03,746
Huh... Just wait
until I get my hands on that Patty.
923
00:54:03,871 --> 00:54:08,500
I am gonna rip every single
bleach-blonde hair out of her scalp
924
00:54:08,625 --> 00:54:11,545
gouge out her eyeballs
and use her head for a bowling ball!
925
00:54:12,212 --> 00:54:15,090
I'm telling you,
they are not gonna get away with it!
926
00:54:15,215 --> 00:54:18,218
That, that barfman Chastity
blacklisting me out of a job
927
00:54:18,343 --> 00:54:20,888
and that, that sleazoid
of a high-school principal
928
00:54:21,013 --> 00:54:22,765
turning all the kids against me.
929
00:54:22,890 --> 00:54:28,312
And that bench-sniffin' real estate letch,
trying to get his commission in the sack!
930
00:54:28,937 --> 00:54:32,441
I'll get even with every one of 'em,
if it's the last thing I do!
931
00:54:36,653 --> 00:54:38,113
(Sniffs)
932
00:54:39,698 --> 00:54:42,576
- What's that perfume your wearing?
- Super unleaded.
933
00:54:43,035 --> 00:54:44,411
Don't smoke.
934
00:54:49,166 --> 00:54:50,751
(Drink fizzes)
935
00:54:50,876 --> 00:54:53,212
Well, here's to my big opening!
936
00:54:53,337 --> 00:54:55,380
- (Chuckles)
- I mean...
937
00:54:56,256 --> 00:54:58,091
(Sighs) Forget it.
938
00:55:03,430 --> 00:55:04,765
(Gasps) Uh...
939
00:55:05,224 --> 00:55:07,351
Don't you kids think
it's past your bed time? Hmm.
940
00:55:07,476 --> 00:55:09,311
Oh, heck, no.
I'm not tired... Ouch.
941
00:55:09,436 --> 00:55:11,480
(Chuckles) It is getting awfully late.
942
00:55:12,481 --> 00:55:14,942
Uh, yeah. We better be going.
943
00:55:15,067 --> 00:55:17,486
(Clicks tongue) Yep.
Well, see you dudes tomorrow.
944
00:55:17,611 --> 00:55:19,029
(Chuckles)
945
00:55:19,154 --> 00:55:21,406
(I Music on TV)
946
00:55:32,876 --> 00:55:34,294
(Exhales)
947
00:55:53,272 --> 00:55:54,606
Ow!
948
00:55:58,235 --> 00:56:01,196
There's the darn recipe book!
How did it get under there?
949
00:56:01,321 --> 00:56:02,948
(Whimpers)
950
00:56:05,534 --> 00:56:06,952
(Bob gasps)
951
00:56:07,077 --> 00:56:09,246
Uh, that reminds me. I'm starving.
952
00:56:09,371 --> 00:56:11,331
Mm, me too. Hmm.
953
00:56:12,291 --> 00:56:14,042
Uh, let's go get somethin' to eat.
954
00:56:14,167 --> 00:56:16,003
There's an all-night truck stop
on the interstate.
955
00:56:16,128 --> 00:56:19,089
No, no, no, no, Bob.
956
00:56:19,214 --> 00:56:20,716
I've got a better idea.
957
00:56:20,841 --> 00:56:22,885
Why don't you set the table,
958
00:56:23,010 --> 00:56:26,513
while I see what I can whip up
in the kitchen?
959
00:56:29,349 --> 00:56:30,767
(Sighs)
960
00:56:32,853 --> 00:56:35,105
My aunt sure had lousy penmanship.
961
00:56:36,023 --> 00:56:37,608
I can't read a word of this stuff.
962
00:56:38,609 --> 00:56:41,570
It looks like it was written
in some foreign language or somethin'.
963
00:56:43,071 --> 00:56:45,824
Hm. Hm, hm.
Hey, wait. Look at this.
964
00:56:45,949 --> 00:56:47,618
- "Adraka Kazorol".
- (Growls)
965
00:56:48,243 --> 00:56:51,455
Kazorol... Oh, casserole!
966
00:56:51,580 --> 00:56:53,040
Mm, that sounds good.
967
00:56:53,165 --> 00:56:55,042
OK. Let's see.
What does it say here?
968
00:56:55,167 --> 00:56:58,253
"One edrazeba."
969
00:56:59,046 --> 00:57:01,506
Huh. Wonder where she keeps
edrazeba around here.
970
00:57:02,341 --> 00:57:03,967
(Gonk growls, yaps)
971
00:57:08,931 --> 00:57:11,058
Wow! This is some spice rack.
972
00:57:13,060 --> 00:57:14,478
Tramazol.
973
00:57:15,145 --> 00:57:16,813
Folemgra. Kuderox.
974
00:57:17,481 --> 00:57:20,609
Oh! Here it is! Edrazeba.
975
00:57:25,405 --> 00:57:26,740
Hm, hm.
976
00:57:26,865 --> 00:57:28,909
One edrazeba.
977
00:57:33,789 --> 00:57:36,208
OK! One half folemgra.
978
00:57:36,333 --> 00:57:37,751
Oh...
979
00:57:39,586 --> 00:57:41,964
Whoa!
Looks like the folemgra went bad.
980
00:57:43,548 --> 00:57:46,051
I don't know, it says it's good
until June of next year.
981
00:57:46,176 --> 00:57:49,638
What the heck!
I got a cast-iron stomach.
982
00:57:49,763 --> 00:57:51,807
OK, then. Let's see.
983
00:57:51,932 --> 00:57:55,602
Two to three guletra. Guletra...
984
00:57:55,727 --> 00:57:57,104
La, la...
985
00:57:57,229 --> 00:58:00,357
Uh, let's see. One kuderox.
986
00:58:00,482 --> 00:58:02,526
Kuderox. Where could it be?
987
00:58:03,318 --> 00:58:04,736
(Bubbles)
988
00:58:09,324 --> 00:58:10,867
(Sniffs) Mm.
989
00:58:10,993 --> 00:58:12,327
It doesn't smell too bad.
990
00:58:12,452 --> 00:58:14,871
But it looks like kaka-doodoo.
991
00:58:24,840 --> 00:58:26,466
(Hums)
992
00:58:42,274 --> 00:58:44,109
There! That's much better.
993
00:58:47,696 --> 00:58:49,156
(Hums)
994
00:58:51,700 --> 00:58:53,035
It's soup!
995
00:58:56,997 --> 00:58:59,416
Mmm. Smells great. What is it?
996
00:58:59,541 --> 00:59:02,085
Oh, just a little something
I conjured up.
997
00:59:02,753 --> 00:59:04,087
- (Clears throat)
- Oh.
998
00:59:06,548 --> 00:59:10,218
- Allow me.
- (Chuckles) Thank you ever so.
999
00:59:13,263 --> 00:59:15,766
Well, I hope you're hungry. (Chuckles)
1000
00:59:16,224 --> 00:59:17,851
Cos here's dinner!
1001
00:59:17,976 --> 00:59:20,187
(Elvira screams)
1002
00:59:21,980 --> 00:59:23,148
(Screams)
1003
00:59:26,026 --> 00:59:28,070
(Both screaming)
1004
00:59:48,590 --> 00:59:50,092
(Bob) Ugh!
1005
00:59:52,260 --> 00:59:54,888
- (Squeals, hisses)
- Get out!
1006
00:59:55,013 --> 00:59:56,723
(Grunts) Ugh!
1007
00:59:57,641 --> 00:59:58,850
Out, out!
1008
00:59:59,476 --> 01:00:00,977
The switch! Bob, the switch!
1009
01:00:06,274 --> 01:00:07,275
Eew!
1010
01:00:13,198 --> 01:00:15,033
- Eew!
- (Exhales, pants)
1011
01:00:17,744 --> 01:00:20,372
First time I was ever an appetiser
for the main course.
1012
01:00:20,497 --> 01:00:21,957
Where'd you learn how to cook?
1013
01:00:22,082 --> 01:00:25,043
I didn't. ljust followed the directions
in my aunt's...
1014
01:00:25,168 --> 01:00:27,546
Gonk, what are you doing?
Gimme that cookbook!
1015
01:00:32,342 --> 01:00:34,136
Gonk? Gonk!
1016
01:00:34,970 --> 01:00:38,723
Gonk, you get back here right now
or you are grounded for one week.
1017
01:00:39,641 --> 01:00:40,976
Gonk!
1018
01:00:41,101 --> 01:00:42,727
- Oh!
- Gonk, come here!
1019
01:00:43,645 --> 01:00:45,105
(Gasps)
1020
01:00:48,400 --> 01:00:49,943
Déjé vu.
1021
01:00:58,410 --> 01:00:59,786
Wow.
1022
01:01:00,537 --> 01:01:02,330
Gonk?
1023
01:01:02,455 --> 01:01:03,999
Gonk, are you in here?
1024
01:01:09,171 --> 01:01:10,297
(Barks)
1025
01:01:10,422 --> 01:01:14,092
Gonk, you are very bad, bad dog.
1026
01:01:16,052 --> 01:01:18,513
Oh, yuck!
He's slobbered all over it.
1027
01:01:19,639 --> 01:01:21,308
(Barks)
1028
01:01:21,433 --> 01:01:23,059
- Now what do you want?
- (Whimpers)
1029
01:01:24,144 --> 01:01:25,562
(G rowls)
1030
01:01:28,565 --> 01:01:30,317
I think he wants you
to open the trunk.
1031
01:01:30,442 --> 01:01:33,028
(Tuts) Well, why didn't you just say so?
1032
01:01:40,911 --> 01:01:43,163
Wow! Look at all this cool junk!
1033
01:01:45,040 --> 01:01:47,209
- This could be you, Gonk.
- (Growls)
1034
01:01:49,294 --> 01:01:51,671
Eew! I think I used go out with this guy.
1035
01:01:58,845 --> 01:02:00,305
(Bob) Hey, look at this.
1036
01:02:02,182 --> 01:02:03,808
Think it's for me?
1037
01:02:04,559 --> 01:02:05,936
Go ahead. Open it.
1038
01:02:06,645 --> 01:02:08,271
Uh-uh. You open it.
1039
01:02:13,777 --> 01:02:15,403
"Dearest, Elvira.
1040
01:02:15,528 --> 01:02:18,198
"For all these years
I protected you from the truth,
1041
01:02:18,323 --> 01:02:23,036
"but the time has now come
when your only protection is the truth."
1042
01:02:23,620 --> 01:02:24,955
Say what?
1043
01:02:25,664 --> 01:02:26,998
Let me see this.
1044
01:02:28,124 --> 01:02:31,086
"Your mother, Devana,
1045
01:02:31,211 --> 01:02:32,879
"was an extraordinary woman.
1046
01:02:33,004 --> 01:02:35,465
"She was the true Mistress of the Dark.
1047
01:02:35,590 --> 01:02:38,260
"But her power
did not go unchallenged."
1048
01:02:38,385 --> 01:02:42,472
(Morgana) 'For 300 years
your great-uncle Vincent
1049
01:02:42,597 --> 01:02:44,266
'coveted her dominion.'
1050
01:02:45,642 --> 01:02:47,018
(Elvira) 300?
1051
01:02:47,143 --> 01:02:49,187
God, I hope I look that good
when I'm that old.
1052
01:02:50,272 --> 01:02:52,315
(Morgana) 'He would have
destroyed you, as he did her,
1053
01:02:52,440 --> 01:02:54,526
'had I not sent you away.
1054
01:02:54,651 --> 01:02:57,529
'I left you with all the power
you would need to protect yourself
1055
01:02:57,654 --> 01:02:59,489
'and entrusted you
to my loyal familiar.'
1056
01:02:59,614 --> 01:03:01,241
(Bob) What's that about a familiar?
1057
01:03:01,366 --> 01:03:04,202
Bob, haven't you ever seen
any old Roger Corman movies?
1058
01:03:04,327 --> 01:03:08,415
Every witch has one. They're like a pet
that can change into almost anything.
1059
01:03:08,540 --> 01:03:11,626
Where was I? Oh, yeah. Um...
1060
01:03:11,751 --> 01:03:14,087
"But it wasn't you alone
that I sought to protect,
1061
01:03:14,212 --> 01:03:18,383
"it was the book
that contained your mother's magic."
1062
01:03:19,134 --> 01:03:21,594
(Morgana) 'Our enemy
is a formidable one.
1063
01:03:21,720 --> 01:03:23,471
'Protect the book, Elvira.
1064
01:03:23,596 --> 01:03:25,765
'And above all keep it from Vincent
1065
01:03:25,890 --> 01:03:29,853
'when the moon falls
under the Earth's shadow.
1066
01:03:29,978 --> 01:03:33,773
'Remember, you carry the power
with you.
1067
01:03:35,191 --> 01:03:38,028
'Your loving aunt, Morgana.'
1068
01:03:38,153 --> 01:03:40,280
Too macabre!
1069
01:03:40,405 --> 01:03:43,491
I knew I was different, but
I didn't think I was quite that different.
1070
01:03:44,326 --> 01:03:46,286
No wonder Vinnie
had such a spaz attack
1071
01:03:46,411 --> 01:03:47,579
when I couldn't find the book!
1072
01:03:48,496 --> 01:03:49,998
(Bob) Yeah, you heard
what your aunt said.
1073
01:03:50,123 --> 01:03:51,583
He can't get his hands on it.
1074
01:03:51,708 --> 01:03:53,335
No way he's gettin' it now.
1075
01:03:53,460 --> 01:03:57,130
I mean, here I am knocking myself out
to make a living as a horror hostess
1076
01:03:57,255 --> 01:04:01,843
when I'm actually descended from,
like, a major metaphysical celebrity!
1077
01:04:01,968 --> 01:04:03,178
(Exhales)
1078
01:04:03,303 --> 01:04:06,056
Oh, all I have to do
is just find the right spell
1079
01:04:06,181 --> 01:04:08,600
and I can make the money
I need for Vegas.
1080
01:04:08,725 --> 01:04:10,935
I mean, really make the money.
1081
01:04:12,437 --> 01:04:15,190
Uh, I don't think you should go foolin'
with that book again.
1082
01:04:15,315 --> 01:04:18,485
Bob, here it is!
"Selzba Riki Moola!"
1083
01:04:18,610 --> 01:04:21,112
This exactly what I need.
Lots 0' moola.
1084
01:04:22,155 --> 01:04:26,284
OK, OK.
Selzba riki moola sheen.
1085
01:04:26,409 --> 01:04:27,827
Hey, Elvira, l-| don't think...
1086
01:04:27,952 --> 01:04:31,289
Pasera floctum kezrah flome!
1087
01:04:31,414 --> 01:04:32,791
(Rattling)
1088
01:04:32,916 --> 01:04:35,585
It's, it's working, Bob!
It's, it's working!
1089
01:04:40,340 --> 01:04:42,842
- Bob, are you still here?
- Right here!
1090
01:04:50,183 --> 01:04:51,518
What is this?
1091
01:04:53,353 --> 01:04:56,398
(Gasps) Oh. Why, Bob!
1092
01:04:57,232 --> 01:04:58,566
(Chuckles)
1093
01:04:58,691 --> 01:05:01,111
You know, Bob, I may be wrong,
1094
01:05:01,236 --> 01:05:03,738
but I think
that might have been a love spell.
1095
01:05:04,406 --> 01:05:05,740
Really?
1096
01:05:06,658 --> 01:05:08,201
Oh, Bob!
1097
01:05:08,326 --> 01:05:09,953
- (Lighter clicks)
- Bob.
1098
01:05:10,078 --> 01:05:11,913
(Moans)
1099
01:05:13,456 --> 01:05:15,083
(Screams)
1100
01:05:15,208 --> 01:05:17,043
(Yelps, grunts)
1101
01:05:23,007 --> 01:05:25,718
Hold me, Bob. Hold me.
1102
01:05:32,934 --> 01:05:34,936
(I Brass band plays)
1103
01:05:35,061 --> 01:05:37,063
(Overlapping chatter)
1104
01:05:48,074 --> 01:05:49,534
Stand up. Up.
1105
01:05:51,578 --> 01:05:54,497
Chastity, the picnic's a great success.
1106
01:05:54,622 --> 01:05:58,126
Yes, I think it's something
we can all be proud of.
1107
01:06:02,464 --> 01:06:03,840
(Crowd cheers)
1108
01:06:06,009 --> 01:06:08,303
- (Bell rings)
-(Chastity) Come and get it.
1109
01:06:09,637 --> 01:06:12,640
Ooh. Now, you children,
you're acting like wild animals.
1110
01:06:13,266 --> 01:06:14,601
Get to the end of the line now.
1111
01:06:16,936 --> 01:06:18,605
(Woman) It all looks so good!
1112
01:06:18,730 --> 01:06:21,107
I can't remember
when I've been this hungry.
1113
01:06:21,232 --> 01:06:23,985
- (Melody) Mmm...
- Ooh, Melody.
1114
01:06:24,110 --> 01:06:27,405
I see you've made
your famous Tic Tac pie.
1115
01:06:33,411 --> 01:06:35,705
(Yelps) Bob, what are you doing?
1116
01:06:35,830 --> 01:06:38,208
- You scared the hell out of me!
- What's going on?
1117
01:06:38,333 --> 01:06:42,337
(Chuckles) Let's just say
I'm settling the score.
1118
01:06:42,462 --> 01:06:43,963
(Bob) Oh, no!
1119
01:06:44,088 --> 01:06:45,840
Well, it is a pot luck.
1120
01:06:45,965 --> 01:06:47,383
And when they open that pot
1121
01:06:47,509 --> 01:06:49,344
they're gonna need
all the luck they can get.
1122
01:06:51,930 --> 01:06:54,057
Oh, I don't believe
I've had any of this.
1123
01:06:54,182 --> 01:06:56,935
Revenge is better than Christmas.
1124
01:07:03,358 --> 01:07:05,068
I don't get it. What happened?
1125
01:07:06,194 --> 01:07:08,363
Looks like some sort of casserole.
1126
01:07:11,407 --> 01:07:13,076
(Smacks lips) Mmm.
1127
01:07:13,201 --> 01:07:15,662
Ooh! This is marvellous.
1128
01:07:15,787 --> 01:07:18,456
I must get this recipe. Mmm!
1129
01:07:24,045 --> 01:07:26,130
Oh, shoot!
I must've screwed it up
1130
01:07:26,256 --> 01:07:29,175
when I substituted the falengra
with some Hamburger Helper.
1131
01:07:30,260 --> 01:07:32,387
Oh, yes.
Thank you for my drink.
1132
01:07:32,512 --> 01:07:33,930
There.
1133
01:07:34,472 --> 01:07:36,683
Ah! Ooh.
1134
01:07:37,850 --> 01:07:39,227
Mmm.
1135
01:07:41,854 --> 01:07:43,189
Mmm.
1136
01:07:44,983 --> 01:07:46,901
Mmm-mmm.
1137
01:07:52,282 --> 01:07:53,616
(Chuckles)
1138
01:07:58,079 --> 01:07:59,581
(Chuckles)
1139
01:08:00,623 --> 01:08:02,041
I feel a little odd.
1140
01:08:05,420 --> 01:08:07,130
Suddenly it's very warm.
1141
01:08:07,255 --> 01:08:09,257
(I JOANNA ST. CLAIRE:
"l Put A Spell On You")
1142
01:08:11,509 --> 01:08:15,138
J' I put a spell on you...
1143
01:08:19,309 --> 01:08:21,019
Remind you of anything?
1144
01:08:21,144 --> 01:08:23,521
J' Because you're mine...
1145
01:08:23,646 --> 01:08:25,565
Remind you of anything?
1146
01:08:28,318 --> 01:08:30,028
(Chuckles)
1147
01:08:30,153 --> 01:08:31,571
Mmm.
1148
01:08:31,696 --> 01:08:33,406
Give me that! It's mine!
1149
01:08:33,531 --> 01:08:34,866
- Hm.
- All mine.
1150
01:08:34,991 --> 01:08:37,619
Oh, darling. Ooh.
1151
01:08:41,956 --> 01:08:43,833
Mmm. Mmm.
1152
01:08:45,543 --> 01:08:48,713
Oh, boy, am I a horn dog?
1153
01:08:50,882 --> 01:08:55,720
J' Because you're mine... J'
1154
01:08:55,845 --> 01:08:57,305
Excuse me.
1155
01:08:57,430 --> 01:08:59,390
Is this space taken?
1156
01:09:02,393 --> 01:09:03,728
(Gasps)
1157
01:09:13,279 --> 01:09:14,656
(Chuckles)
1158
01:09:15,990 --> 01:09:17,784
Come on, stud. Let's boogie.
1159
01:09:17,909 --> 01:09:19,577
Bob... (SighS)
1160
01:09:28,670 --> 01:09:31,464
Hey! Let's mambo!
1161
01:09:38,012 --> 01:09:40,014
(Overlapping chatter and laughter)
1162
01:09:40,640 --> 01:09:43,434
- Charge!
- (Chuckles)
1163
01:09:46,437 --> 01:09:49,232
- That's an interesting dish.
- (Gasps)
1164
01:09:49,857 --> 01:09:51,776
Where did you learn how to make it?
1165
01:09:52,652 --> 01:09:54,487
Oh, it's just a old family recipe.
1166
01:09:55,697 --> 01:09:57,365
(Vincent) All right.
1167
01:09:57,490 --> 01:10:01,202
I'll give you 500 dollars
for the book.
1168
01:10:01,911 --> 01:10:04,330
What, do I look
like I just fell off the tuna truck?
1169
01:10:04,455 --> 01:10:06,499
The deal's off, Uncle!
1170
01:10:06,624 --> 01:10:08,584
You think you're pretty clever,
don%you?
1171
01:10:08,710 --> 01:10:11,337
- Mm.
- Well, mark my words,
1172
01:10:11,462 --> 01:10:14,465
I'll get you and your little dog too!
1173
01:10:15,174 --> 01:10:16,509
Ugh.
1174
01:10:20,054 --> 01:10:21,389
(Whispers) Help.
1175
01:10:26,269 --> 01:10:27,895
No!
1176
01:10:28,020 --> 01:10:29,939
Oh, you again?
1177
01:10:30,606 --> 01:10:32,734
Do you always wear
the same dress?
1178
01:10:33,484 --> 01:10:36,612
No. Sometimes I like to wear
somethin' low-cut and sexy.
1179
01:10:36,738 --> 01:10:38,322
Huh.
1180
01:10:38,448 --> 01:10:41,993
Well, I guess in your business
it pays to advertise.
1181
01:10:42,118 --> 01:10:44,036
(Yelps, grunts)
1182
01:10:44,162 --> 01:10:47,582
Come here, Bob.
Let me show you how a real woman does it.
1183
01:10:47,707 --> 01:10:49,709
Mmm-mmm.
1184
01:10:49,834 --> 01:10:51,169
Excuse me!
1185
01:10:52,879 --> 01:10:54,297
(Crowd gasps)
1186
01:10:58,509 --> 01:11:00,136
- (Grunts)
- (Crowd laughs)
1187
01:11:05,892 --> 01:11:07,685
(Chastity) You all saw it!
1188
01:11:07,810 --> 01:11:10,271
He attacked me in broad daylight
and he had his way with me!
1189
01:11:10,396 --> 01:11:13,065
Me? I barely got away
with my life.
1190
01:11:13,191 --> 01:11:15,818
You could have worn out
a mechanical bull!
1191
01:11:15,943 --> 01:11:18,446
Ooh! You're not gonna
get away with this,
1192
01:11:18,571 --> 01:11:20,156
you sex-addled maniac!
1193
01:11:20,281 --> 01:11:22,700
I demand that the council
remove this pervert!
1194
01:11:22,825 --> 01:11:26,120
I never laid a hand on those sheep,
so help me.
1195
01:11:26,245 --> 01:11:29,290
Calvin was the one who was
painting everybody with apple butter.
1196
01:11:29,415 --> 01:11:31,542
I was just an innocent on-licker.
1197
01:11:31,667 --> 01:11:33,669
(Overlapping chatter)
1198
01:11:35,254 --> 01:11:36,589
(Yells) Silence!
1199
01:11:39,342 --> 01:11:40,676
Don't you see?
1200
01:11:42,470 --> 01:11:45,973
You're playing right into her hands.
1201
01:11:46,641 --> 01:11:50,436
It's Elvira
who is responsible for all this.
1202
01:11:50,561 --> 01:11:53,314
Of course. I should have known
it was that little harlot.
1203
01:11:53,439 --> 01:11:57,151
We ought to ride her
out of town on a big fat rail.
1204
01:11:57,276 --> 01:11:59,237
She might enjoy that too much.
1205
01:11:59,987 --> 01:12:02,657
There is a much more
satisfactory solution.
1206
01:12:05,409 --> 01:12:07,495
We can have her arrested.
1207
01:12:07,620 --> 01:12:09,747
Arrested? On what charges?
1208
01:12:09,872 --> 01:12:12,917
It's so happens
that there is a law on the books
1209
01:12:13,042 --> 01:12:15,211
that dates back to the Salem trials.
1210
01:12:16,003 --> 01:12:18,756
It's specifically forbids and I quote,
1211
01:12:18,881 --> 01:12:24,095
"Any town's person from practising
the ancient arts of spell casting,
1212
01:12:24,679 --> 01:12:29,642
"demonology, alchemy
and conjuration."
1213
01:12:31,227 --> 01:12:35,314
The charge,
my fellow council members, is...
1214
01:12:37,149 --> 01:12:38,818
...witchcraft.
1215
01:12:38,943 --> 01:12:41,195
(Gasping, muttering)
1216
01:12:41,320 --> 01:12:43,281
(Clanking)
1217
01:12:43,406 --> 01:12:45,449
Let me outta here!
Let me outta here!
1218
01:12:45,575 --> 01:12:47,118
Pipe down in there!
1219
01:12:47,243 --> 01:12:49,161
Hey, I've seen the "People's Court".
1220
01:12:49,287 --> 01:12:51,789
I'm entitled to one phone call
and a strip search.
1221
01:12:52,498 --> 01:12:54,709
Well, there's a payphone
right across the street.
1222
01:12:54,834 --> 01:12:57,795
What's the matter?
You forget where you put your broom?
1223
01:12:57,920 --> 01:13:01,674
Listen, fatso, ifl had a broom,
I know exactly where I'd put it!
1224
01:13:01,799 --> 01:13:03,050
(Grunts)
1225
01:13:05,428 --> 01:13:07,889
Oh, this is swell!
I can just hear Manny now.
1226
01:13:08,514 --> 01:13:11,517
"Hello, Vegas! We got a slight crimp
in the plans for the show.
1227
01:13:11,642 --> 01:13:13,686
"Yeah, the star was burned
at the stake."
1228
01:13:13,811 --> 01:13:16,188
Elvira... great news.
1229
01:13:16,314 --> 01:13:19,734
I got you the best lawyer in the county.
He'll be here first thing in the morning.
1230
01:13:19,859 --> 01:13:22,153
(Sighs) Bob, in the morning?
1231
01:13:22,278 --> 01:13:25,072
First thing in the morning
I'll be able to fit in an ashtray!
1232
01:13:25,656 --> 01:13:28,284
- You gotta get me outta here.
- But how?
1233
01:13:29,243 --> 01:13:31,329
The book! It's my only chance.
1234
01:13:31,454 --> 01:13:33,456
- Quick! Run to the house and get it!
- OK.
1235
01:13:33,915 --> 01:13:35,333
Oh, and, Bob, wait!
1236
01:13:36,250 --> 01:13:37,376
What?
1237
01:13:37,501 --> 01:13:39,879
I hid it under the floorboard
in the living room.
1238
01:13:40,004 --> 01:13:41,005
OK.
1239
01:13:41,130 --> 01:13:43,257
Oh, and, Bob...
1240
01:13:44,508 --> 01:13:46,385
- What?
- Hurry!
1241
01:13:53,184 --> 01:13:54,852
(Robin) Hey, move!
1242
01:13:54,977 --> 01:13:56,479
Get down low.
1243
01:13:59,857 --> 01:14:01,859
(Overlapping chatter)
1244
01:14:04,737 --> 01:14:06,322
(Saw whirs)
1245
01:14:08,199 --> 01:14:09,575
Now.
1246
01:14:11,243 --> 01:14:13,454
(Drill whirs)
1247
01:14:13,579 --> 01:14:14,914
(Whines)
1248
01:14:15,039 --> 01:14:17,875
What are you whining about?
I'm the one getting barbecued.
1249
01:14:18,793 --> 01:14:20,127
(Barks)
1250
01:14:20,252 --> 01:14:21,754
(indistinct chatter)
1251
01:14:25,883 --> 01:14:27,551
(Snarls)
1252
01:14:27,677 --> 01:14:29,595
Oh. Sorry.
1253
01:14:29,720 --> 01:14:32,014
(G rowls)
1254
01:14:43,234 --> 01:14:44,902
(Glass shatters)
1255
01:14:46,737 --> 01:14:48,906
At last it's mine.
1256
01:14:49,031 --> 01:14:51,409
The power is mine!
1257
01:14:54,954 --> 01:14:56,330
(G rowls, barks)
1258
01:15:00,292 --> 01:15:02,211
Gonk, don't have a conniption fit.
1259
01:15:02,336 --> 01:15:03,754
(Barks)
1260
01:15:11,846 --> 01:15:13,472
(squeaks)
1261
01:15:13,597 --> 01:15:16,559
Whoa. It must have done
too much antacid in the '60s.
1262
01:15:18,310 --> 01:15:22,231
Four, six, eight,
who do we incinerate?
1263
01:15:22,356 --> 01:15:25,735
Elvira! Elvira! Elvira!
1264
01:15:25,860 --> 01:15:28,112
(Cheering)
1265
01:15:28,237 --> 01:15:30,239
(Drill whirs)
1266
01:15:30,364 --> 01:15:32,366
(Overlapping shouting)
1267
01:15:37,329 --> 01:15:39,123
Thank goodness, Padre!
1268
01:15:39,248 --> 01:15:40,958
I am here to save you,
my child.
1269
01:15:41,083 --> 01:15:44,211
At last, someone who can
talk some sense into these people.
1270
01:15:46,547 --> 01:15:50,384
Lord, save this wretched
creature's soul!
1271
01:15:50,509 --> 01:15:56,807
Even though her creamy white flesh
will burn and sizzle.
1272
01:16:05,775 --> 01:16:08,736
Well, isn't that convenient?
1273
01:16:11,947 --> 01:16:13,699
Thanks for trying, you guys.
1274
01:16:14,533 --> 01:16:15,868
(Robin) Elvira!
1275
01:16:18,204 --> 01:16:20,206
(squeaks)
1276
01:16:31,509 --> 01:16:32,843
Gonk?
1277
01:16:33,636 --> 01:16:35,012
Is that you, boy?
1278
01:16:37,431 --> 01:16:39,308
(G rowls)
1279
01:16:42,520 --> 01:16:45,189
- (Barks)
- Good work, Gonk.
1280
01:16:45,314 --> 01:16:49,735
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
Burn the witch! Burn the witch...
1281
01:16:49,860 --> 01:16:51,779
Do you smoke?
1282
01:16:51,904 --> 01:16:53,906
Guess we'll find out soon enough.
1283
01:16:54,031 --> 01:16:57,076
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
1284
01:16:57,201 --> 01:16:59,036
Out of the way!
1285
01:16:59,161 --> 01:17:03,290
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
1286
01:17:03,415 --> 01:17:07,878
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
1287
01:17:08,003 --> 01:17:11,382
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
1288
01:17:16,512 --> 01:17:18,264
Oh, no!
You're not gonna believe this!
1289
01:17:18,389 --> 01:17:21,142
- I left my oven on. I'll be a minute.
- Oh!
1290
01:17:23,102 --> 01:17:27,273
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
1291
01:17:27,398 --> 01:17:29,233
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
1292
01:17:31,110 --> 01:17:33,195
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
1293
01:17:33,320 --> 01:17:35,030
Any last words?
1294
01:17:35,156 --> 01:17:36,490
Uh, just one.
1295
01:17:36,615 --> 01:17:38,826
(Yells) Help!
1296
01:17:40,286 --> 01:17:43,622
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
1297
01:17:43,747 --> 01:17:45,166
(Grunts)
1298
01:17:45,291 --> 01:17:48,419
Hold it! Hold it down!
Quiet! Quiet!
1299
01:17:48,544 --> 01:17:50,129
(Crowd falls silent)
1300
01:17:52,464 --> 01:17:55,050
And now by the power
vested in me
1301
01:17:55,176 --> 01:17:57,511
by the sovereign state
of Massachusetts,
1302
01:17:57,636 --> 01:18:02,391
I do hereby pronounce sentence
on Elvira, the prisoner.
1303
01:18:03,267 --> 01:18:05,227
Death by fire!
1304
01:18:08,063 --> 01:18:09,398
Hold it, Sheriff.
1305
01:18:10,608 --> 01:18:12,318
What you're doing is wrong.
1306
01:18:12,443 --> 01:18:13,861
Patty?
1307
01:18:13,986 --> 01:18:17,489
It'll catch faster,
if you light it in several places.
1308
01:18:19,116 --> 01:18:20,451
Patty, n0!
1309
01:18:23,579 --> 01:18:26,207
We ought to have one of these
every year!
1310
01:18:27,082 --> 01:18:29,835
- Burn in hell, witch!
- Patty!
1311
01:18:29,960 --> 01:18:34,965
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
1312
01:18:35,090 --> 01:18:38,719
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
Burn the witch! Burn the witch...
1313
01:18:43,265 --> 01:18:44,558
Burn her!
1314
01:18:45,351 --> 01:18:48,771
Bye, kids. It's been swell.
1315
01:18:48,896 --> 01:18:50,981
Just send my ashes to Las Vegas.
1316
01:18:51,523 --> 01:18:53,234
Let me through!
1317
01:18:55,152 --> 01:18:56,779
- Elvira!
- Bob!
1318
01:18:57,363 --> 01:18:58,864
(Grunts)
1319
01:18:59,657 --> 01:19:00,991
(Grunts)
1320
01:19:03,285 --> 01:19:04,954
- Hi, Bob.
- Patty...
1321
01:19:06,205 --> 01:19:07,748
You're not a very nice person.
1322
01:19:07,873 --> 01:19:11,252
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
Burn the witch! Burn the witch...
1323
01:19:15,047 --> 01:19:16,632
' (Grunts)
' (Barks)
1324
01:19:16,757 --> 01:19:18,133
Gonk?
1325
01:19:18,259 --> 01:19:20,386
(Barks)
1326
01:19:24,265 --> 01:19:28,102
(Morgana) 'Remember,
you carry the power with you.'
1327
01:19:32,690 --> 01:19:34,650
' The ring!
' (Barks)
1328
01:19:34,775 --> 01:19:36,568
(Whimpers)
1329
01:19:49,957 --> 01:19:51,458
(Thunderclap)
1330
01:19:51,583 --> 01:19:54,420
(Crowd shouts)
1331
01:20:11,103 --> 01:20:12,438
Are you all right?
1332
01:20:21,447 --> 01:20:24,408
Look, the lunar eclipse.
1333
01:20:25,492 --> 01:20:27,828
Remember? Your aunt's letter.
1334
01:20:27,953 --> 01:20:30,664
"When the moon falls
under the Earth shadow..."
1335
01:20:31,623 --> 01:20:34,209
- Yeah, so?
- Vincent's got the book!
1336
01:20:40,799 --> 01:20:42,217
(Screaming, thunderclaps)
1337
01:20:46,889 --> 01:20:48,390
Elvira!
1338
01:20:51,435 --> 01:20:54,480
Elvira!
1339
01:20:54,605 --> 01:20:56,440
Gonk! Where is Gonk?
1340
01:20:56,565 --> 01:20:57,983
(Barks)
1341
01:20:58,108 --> 01:20:59,735
(Gasps)
1342
01:20:59,860 --> 01:21:01,737
You tricky little devil!
1343
01:21:06,033 --> 01:21:07,743
Oh!
1344
01:21:07,868 --> 01:21:11,497
Vincent, remember us?
We're on your side.
1345
01:21:11,622 --> 01:21:13,665
Swine!
1346
01:21:15,834 --> 01:21:18,295
(Snorting, squeafing)
1347
01:21:22,341 --> 01:21:23,675
(Gasps)
1348
01:21:27,638 --> 01:21:29,139
Stay back.
1349
01:21:34,853 --> 01:21:36,939
(Chokes, rasps)
1350
01:21:37,064 --> 01:21:38,982
- Sic him, Gonk!
- (Barks, snarls)
1351
01:21:42,319 --> 01:21:43,987
- (Grunts)
' (Groans)
1352
01:21:45,155 --> 01:21:47,199
- (Gonk whimpers)
- (Groans)
1353
01:21:49,743 --> 01:21:51,578
Don't make me use this!
1354
01:21:55,207 --> 01:21:56,792
(Chuckles)
1355
01:21:56,917 --> 01:21:59,586
The amulet could not protect
your mother
1356
01:21:59,711 --> 01:22:01,839
and it won't save you.
1357
01:22:01,964 --> 01:22:06,301
Kaldozar ipsole.
1358
01:22:10,681 --> 01:22:12,891
Oh. So you wanna play rough, eh?
1359
01:22:13,016 --> 01:22:14,393
Well, take this!
1360
01:22:19,523 --> 01:22:22,568
Huh? What? Uh... (Gasps)
1361
01:22:43,380 --> 01:22:46,592
You cannot escape me,
daughter of Devana.
1362
01:22:46,717 --> 01:22:49,845
I shall destroy you as I did her.
1363
01:23:00,314 --> 01:23:01,773
Are you looking for me?
1364
01:23:06,111 --> 01:23:07,613
(Blows breath)
1365
01:23:09,281 --> 01:23:12,576
Did you think
you could stop me with your toys?
1366
01:23:13,994 --> 01:23:17,039
No, but I figured
it'd be worth a shot. Look!
1367
01:23:20,250 --> 01:23:21,627
(Cackles)
1368
01:23:37,142 --> 01:23:38,477
(Grunts)
1369
01:23:45,859 --> 01:23:47,277
(Bar clanks)
1370
01:23:51,907 --> 01:23:53,742
(Thunderclap)
1371
01:24:04,586 --> 01:24:08,632
Cosa! Terra! Obtan!
1372
01:24:09,883 --> 01:24:11,593
Sure, that's easy for you to say.
1373
01:24:16,515 --> 01:24:18,892
(G roans)
1374
01:24:22,437 --> 01:24:23,730
(YellS)
1375
01:24:27,484 --> 01:24:28,652
(Yelps)
1376
01:24:31,738 --> 01:24:33,073
(Vincent groans)
1377
01:24:35,242 --> 01:24:36,743
(Gasps)
1378
01:24:38,662 --> 01:24:42,833
Ooh! That hurts!
1379
01:24:49,881 --> 01:24:51,216
Now, baby.
1380
01:24:52,593 --> 01:24:54,428
(Chuckles)
1381
01:24:55,304 --> 01:24:56,763
H53'-
1382
01:24:57,764 --> 01:25:00,726
We have a little unfinished business.
1383
01:25:01,768 --> 01:25:03,270
Yeah, well, uh...
1384
01:25:03,979 --> 01:25:05,480
I think we could do business, uh...
1385
01:25:06,356 --> 01:25:08,191
Uh, yeah, sure.
I can dig it.
1386
01:25:08,317 --> 01:25:10,360
Uh, I'm cool, bro.
1387
01:25:10,485 --> 01:25:13,697
You know, what it is.
Where it's at. Uh...
1388
01:25:13,822 --> 01:25:15,490
I'll show you where it's at.
1389
01:25:15,616 --> 01:25:17,701
(Screams)
1390
01:25:27,294 --> 01:25:29,296
(Clock ticks)
1391
01:25:40,015 --> 01:25:42,059
(Gasps)
1392
01:25:44,853 --> 01:25:46,396
(Grunts)
1393
01:25:46,521 --> 01:25:47,856
(Vincent yells, groans)
1394
01:25:47,981 --> 01:25:49,399
(Pants)
1395
01:25:50,067 --> 01:25:51,735
(Chokes, grunts)
1396
01:25:53,528 --> 01:25:55,739
- (Groans)
- (Screams)
1397
01:25:57,199 --> 01:26:01,787
(Yells) I am Master of the Dark!
1398
01:26:01,912 --> 01:26:05,582
Then I'll see you in hell first.
1399
01:26:13,215 --> 01:26:14,841
(Exhales)
1400
01:26:19,471 --> 01:26:20,972
(Gasps)
1401
01:26:29,731 --> 01:26:31,274
(G roans)
1402
01:26:32,943 --> 01:26:34,403
- (Screams)
- (Fire crackles)
1403
01:26:44,705 --> 01:26:46,081
(Vincent groans)
1404
01:26:51,002 --> 01:26:55,048
And now, Elvira, you die!
1405
01:26:57,384 --> 01:26:59,010
(G roans)
1406
01:27:23,869 --> 01:27:25,203
(Fire crackles)
1407
01:27:26,580 --> 01:27:30,542
(Morgana) 'Remember,
you carry the power with you.'
1408
01:27:46,057 --> 01:27:47,476
(Birds chirping)
1409
01:27:50,270 --> 01:27:52,147
(G roans)
1410
01:27:52,272 --> 01:27:54,316
So what did the insurance guy say?
1411
01:27:56,443 --> 01:27:59,070
My policy doesn't cover
acts of demons.
1412
01:28:01,823 --> 01:28:03,950
Well, at least you still got the ring.
1413
01:28:05,202 --> 01:28:07,996
Yeah, but the only thing
I can get it to do any more is look cheap.
1414
01:28:10,373 --> 01:28:11,708
(Sighs deeply)
1415
01:28:11,833 --> 01:28:13,460
Gosh, Elvira, I'm sorry.
1416
01:28:14,252 --> 01:28:16,463
I know you had your heart set
on playing Las Vegas.
1417
01:28:18,924 --> 01:28:21,426
I'm just not the kind of girl
whose dreams come true.
1418
01:28:22,803 --> 01:28:24,596
I do better on nightmares.
1419
01:28:28,934 --> 01:28:30,936
I wish there was something
I could do.
1420
01:28:31,812 --> 01:28:34,773
(Sniffles) Yeah,
don't worry about me, Bob.
1421
01:28:34,898 --> 01:28:37,692
I'm like fake fruit.
I don't bruise that easy.
1422
01:28:38,276 --> 01:28:39,986
(Overlapping chatter)
1423
01:28:40,111 --> 01:28:41,613
There he is, up there.
1424
01:28:44,866 --> 01:28:46,868
Uh-oh. Here comes the lynch mob.
1425
01:28:46,993 --> 01:28:49,079
Hey, take it easy, take it easy.
I'm leaving.
1426
01:28:49,204 --> 01:28:51,623
- We don't want you to go.
- (Crowd) No, no.
1427
01:28:51,748 --> 01:28:53,250
This is our way of saying
1428
01:28:53,375 --> 01:28:56,002
we were wrong about you
and we're sorry.
1429
01:28:56,127 --> 01:28:59,297
Elvira, you're the best thing
that ever happened to our town.
1430
01:28:59,422 --> 01:29:03,343
You've touched a part of my son that...
that nobody's ever touched before.
1431
01:29:03,468 --> 01:29:04,803
I Wish.
1432
01:29:04,928 --> 01:29:06,179
(Laughter)
1433
01:29:06,304 --> 01:29:10,475
As long as you're in Fallwell you will
always have a free room at the Cozy Cot.
1434
01:29:10,600 --> 01:29:12,143
(Crowd) AW!
1435
01:29:13,144 --> 01:29:15,230
Wait! Just a minute, Leslie!
1436
01:29:15,355 --> 01:29:16,940
Shut up, you old bag.
1437
01:29:17,065 --> 01:29:18,817
(Laughter)
1438
01:29:21,319 --> 01:29:23,071
(Gasps)
1439
01:29:24,364 --> 01:29:25,824
Well, I finally got it running.
1440
01:29:26,992 --> 01:29:28,326
(Chuckles) Great!
1441
01:29:29,619 --> 01:29:31,788
At least now I'll have a place to live.
1442
01:29:32,539 --> 01:29:34,666
But I still don't know
how I'm gonna pay you for it.
1443
01:29:34,791 --> 01:29:37,168
Don't worry.
We'll work out something.
1444
01:29:37,961 --> 01:29:39,296
(Patty) Elvira...
1445
01:29:41,172 --> 01:29:42,841
I'm, uh...
1446
01:29:42,966 --> 01:29:47,387
I'm s... sorry that I set you on fire
and everything and, uh...
1447
01:29:48,013 --> 01:29:49,764
I hope there no hard feelings.
1448
01:29:50,599 --> 01:29:52,976
Don't worry.
She's bigger than that.
1449
01:29:53,101 --> 01:29:56,605
- Yeah, a lot bigger.
- (Laughter)
1450
01:29:56,730 --> 01:30:00,525
Elvira, I've got some important papers
that you're gonna have to sign.
1451
01:30:00,650 --> 01:30:03,320
With your uncle gone
you're the only heir to his estate.
1452
01:30:04,905 --> 01:30:07,949
- I am?
- Not an inconsiderable one at that.
1453
01:30:09,451 --> 01:30:10,785
Las Vegas!
1454
01:30:10,911 --> 01:30:13,121
Elvira, that's fantastic!
1455
01:30:13,246 --> 01:30:14,706
Las Vegas!
1456
01:30:15,790 --> 01:30:17,334
Las Vegas!
1457
01:30:18,084 --> 01:30:19,419
Las Vegas!
1458
01:30:23,590 --> 01:30:25,800
(Announcer) 'Ladies and gentlemen,
1459
01:30:25,926 --> 01:30:28,428
'The Flamingo Hotel is proud
1460
01:30:28,553 --> 01:30:33,266
'to present
the Mistress of the Dark, Elvira!'
1461
01:30:34,225 --> 01:30:38,063
J' I've always dreamed of doing this
1462
01:30:38,188 --> 01:30:42,442
J' And now I've got my chance
1463
01:30:42,567 --> 01:30:46,446
J' So excuse me
while I indulge myself
1464
01:30:47,155 --> 01:30:53,536
J' In a little song and dance
1465
01:31:12,180 --> 01:31:14,724
J' Well, if you're looking for trouble
1466
01:31:16,059 --> 01:31:19,646
J' Here I am
1467
01:31:19,771 --> 01:31:23,191
J' And if you wanna see double
1468
01:31:23,316 --> 01:31:27,237
J' Here I am
1469
01:31:27,362 --> 01:31:31,282
Ildon%do
what the good girls do
1470
01:31:31,408 --> 01:31:35,453
J' Bad dreams really do come true
1471
01:31:43,128 --> 01:31:47,882
J' Here I am
1472
01:31:50,677 --> 01:31:52,554
J' I'm a bitch in black
so you better stand back
1473
01:31:52,679 --> 01:31:54,222
J' You might get motion sickness
or a heart attack
1474
01:31:54,347 --> 01:31:56,099
J' I can really rap up
with the swelling in your pocket
1475
01:31:56,224 --> 01:31:58,059
J' Make your eyeballs drop
right out of their socket
1476
01:31:58,184 --> 01:31:59,936
J' I'm rough, I'm tough,
I'm woman enough
1477
01:32:00,061 --> 01:32:01,813
J' So get ready
I'm gonna do my stuff
1478
01:32:01,938 --> 01:32:03,606
J' I can take it, I can shake it
I can cook it, I can bake it
1479
01:32:03,732 --> 01:32:05,608
J' If I don't have the recipe
I'll fake it
1480
01:32:05,734 --> 01:32:07,694
J' I'm a volcano that's ready to blow
1481
01:32:07,819 --> 01:32:09,988
J' Look out y'all 'cause here I go J'
1482
01:32:16,369 --> 01:32:18,204
(Applause)
1483
01:32:19,748 --> 01:32:21,750
(Crowd cheers, whistles)
1484
01:32:39,893 --> 01:32:41,895
(Crowd cheers)
1485
01:32:43,980 --> 01:32:45,732
(Laughs)
1486
01:32:45,857 --> 01:32:48,276
(Crowd whistles)
1487
01:32:48,401 --> 01:32:50,612
(Barks)
1488
01:33:05,251 --> 01:33:07,295
Yeah! All right!
1489
01:33:09,130 --> 01:33:11,132
(Crowd applauds, cheers, whistles)
1490
01:33:15,428 --> 01:33:16,763
For me? Oh!
1491
01:33:29,943 --> 01:33:32,362
Unpleasant dreams.
1492
01:33:36,199 --> 01:33:38,201
(Crowd applauds, cheers, whistles)
107839
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