All language subtitles for The.Mi hjkjhghj
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Filipino
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hindi
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Igbo
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kannada
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Malayalam
Maltese
Maori
Marathi
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese
Punjabi
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Sundanese
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Telugu
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Xhosa
Yiddish
Yoruba
Zulu
Odia (Oriya)
Kinyarwanda
Turkmen
Tatar
Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:11,218 --> 00:00:16,218
Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
2
00:01:03,522 --> 00:01:04,523
The high point of the weekend
3
00:01:04,724 --> 00:01:07,592
was when my St. Bernard fell
through the attic ceiling
4
00:01:07,794 --> 00:01:09,929
and landed on my kitchen table.
5
00:01:14,767 --> 00:01:18,236
This is one of the top 10 things
that's ever happened to me...
6
00:01:18,437 --> 00:01:20,840
...he said,
as he stared at me with those
7
00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:23,710
cold, blue, sociopathic eyes.
8
00:01:24,543 --> 00:01:26,879
The dog's okay.
He followed me up to the attic...
9
00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:28,580
...the Kid added.
10
00:01:28,781 --> 00:01:33,485
The fact that he was doing
cocaine up there he did not add.
11
00:01:37,990 --> 00:01:38,791
I first met The Kid
12
00:01:38,991 --> 00:01:40,893
when he infiltrated
our small town newspaper
13
00:01:41,094 --> 00:01:42,594
right after my wife died.
14
00:01:42,795 --> 00:01:45,363
I say "infiltrated"
because I believe
15
00:01:45,564 --> 00:01:48,768
it was a deliberate action
designed to meet me.
16
00:01:49,102 --> 00:01:50,402
Not that the women
on the newspaper
17
00:01:50,602 --> 00:01:51,838
aren't worth meeting.
18
00:01:52,038 --> 00:01:53,005
They are.
19
00:01:53,206 --> 00:01:54,874
But they're also old.
20
00:01:55,074 --> 00:01:56,943
In some cases, very old.
21
00:01:57,143 --> 00:02:00,278
So unless The Kid always wanted
to sleep with his mother,
22
00:02:00,479 --> 00:02:02,547
or in this particular case,
his grandmother,
23
00:02:02,749 --> 00:02:03,983
then I was it.
24
00:02:04,183 --> 00:02:05,985
This is what I wanted
to point out to you...
25
00:02:06,219 --> 00:02:07,519
As an only child,
26
00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:09,856
I am used to being around
older people.
27
00:02:10,056 --> 00:02:12,491
I am also used to
entertaining myself.
28
00:02:12,692 --> 00:02:15,527
These older people
are very entertaining.
29
00:02:15,728 --> 00:02:17,362
They would argue about
the relationship between
30
00:02:17,562 --> 00:02:19,397
commas, semicolons and periods
31
00:02:19,598 --> 00:02:20,532
of the last newspaper issue
32
00:02:20,733 --> 00:02:21,834
before starting to work
on the next one.
33
00:02:22,034 --> 00:02:24,436
It should have been a semicolon,
not a period...
34
00:02:24,637 --> 00:02:25,738
That's all there is to it.
35
00:02:25,938 --> 00:02:27,439
It's no wonder
their husbands are dead.
36
00:02:27,640 --> 00:02:28,941
They never had a chance.
37
00:02:29,142 --> 00:02:31,244
Here I am in the middle
of all this,
38
00:02:31,476 --> 00:02:32,879
thinking that my life
is nothing more than
39
00:02:33,079 --> 00:02:35,347
one long, run-on sentence...
40
00:02:35,547 --> 00:02:37,984
- I was an editor...
- Assistant editor.
41
00:02:39,652 --> 00:02:41,586
...when he appears.
42
00:02:43,890 --> 00:02:45,792
I knew your husband
was cheating on you.
43
00:02:46,025 --> 00:02:48,795
Everyone knew my husband
was cheating on me.
44
00:02:48,995 --> 00:02:49,962
Except you.
45
00:02:50,163 --> 00:02:51,664
Including me!
46
00:02:52,064 --> 00:02:54,767
I don't know what I'd do
if my husband cheated on me.
47
00:02:54,967 --> 00:02:56,035
Oh yeah?
48
00:02:56,401 --> 00:02:58,470
Stick around and find out.
49
00:02:58,704 --> 00:02:59,138
Now!
50
00:02:59,739 --> 00:03:02,541
I see we're a little short
on obituaries.
51
00:03:02,742 --> 00:03:04,010
Anyone have any ideas?
52
00:03:04,342 --> 00:03:06,511
I haven't seen
my neighbor in a while.
53
00:03:06,712 --> 00:03:07,814
Can you go over and check?
54
00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:12,450
I have seen a car parked outside
late at night that I don't know.
55
00:03:12,652 --> 00:03:13,186
Woah...
56
00:03:13,853 --> 00:03:17,023
Sounds like he's either dead
or has a new girlfriend.
57
00:03:17,223 --> 00:03:18,691
Hah!
58
00:03:18,724 --> 00:03:20,960
I know the guy
you're talking about.
59
00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:23,328
He couldn't afford to move
so he's living
60
00:03:23,528 --> 00:03:26,032
with his girlfriend
on the second floor.
61
00:03:26,232 --> 00:03:28,835
- That's her car.
- That's her car?
62
00:03:29,035 --> 00:03:30,569
Where's the wife living?
63
00:03:30,770 --> 00:03:32,337
On the first floor.
64
00:03:35,875 --> 00:03:37,109
He's alive.
65
00:03:37,310 --> 00:03:37,777
Next!
66
00:03:38,476 --> 00:03:41,379
Ladies, I'm sorry to interrupt
but we have a guest.
67
00:03:41,580 --> 00:03:43,783
Oh, yes, everyone...
68
00:03:43,983 --> 00:03:46,819
This is our new neighbor,
who wants to join the newspaper.
69
00:03:47,019 --> 00:03:48,120
Show of hands?
70
00:03:50,990 --> 00:03:52,892
Congratulations, young man.
71
00:03:53,726 --> 00:03:54,994
You're in.
72
00:04:04,937 --> 00:04:06,973
- Is it always like that?
- Like what?
73
00:04:07,173 --> 00:04:07,940
That intense.
74
00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:11,010
You think old ladies bickering
about semicolons is intense?
75
00:04:11,210 --> 00:04:12,477
You must be from New Jersey.
76
00:04:12,678 --> 00:04:13,511
I am, actually.
77
00:04:13,713 --> 00:04:14,647
And you just moved to New York?
78
00:04:14,847 --> 00:04:17,382
It's not that far really.
It's only a few miles.
79
00:04:17,582 --> 00:04:19,384
It's a different world.
80
00:04:21,087 --> 00:04:23,555
- Oop, sorry.
- That's okay.
81
00:04:24,223 --> 00:04:25,725
I like the way you smoke.
82
00:04:25,925 --> 00:04:27,592
Ah, it's a bad habit.
83
00:04:27,793 --> 00:04:29,394
Not on you though.
It makes you look confident.
84
00:04:29,594 --> 00:04:30,863
I don't need to smoke
to look confident.
85
00:04:31,063 --> 00:04:32,497
I am confident.
86
00:04:33,132 --> 00:04:34,867
- You never smoked?
- Once...
87
00:04:35,067 --> 00:04:36,568
When I was 19.
88
00:04:36,769 --> 00:04:38,137
I failed miserably at it.
89
00:04:38,337 --> 00:04:40,438
Yeah, my wife
doesn't smoke either.
90
00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:41,406
You married?
91
00:04:41,606 --> 00:04:44,176
Yeah, seven years.
We met in high school
92
00:04:44,476 --> 00:04:46,746
- How old are you?
- 31. And you?
93
00:04:46,946 --> 00:04:48,080
Mmm...
94
00:04:48,648 --> 00:04:49,649
Not 31.
95
00:04:52,852 --> 00:04:55,420
Oh look, mushrooms.
96
00:04:59,591 --> 00:05:01,160
Ha-hah...
97
00:05:07,233 --> 00:05:08,433
Ahhh...
98
00:05:09,669 --> 00:05:11,704
Such an unusual species, too.
99
00:05:12,305 --> 00:05:14,539
Yeah, there's all kinds of
strange species around here.
100
00:05:14,740 --> 00:05:16,909
The Mycological Society
will really like this.
101
00:05:17,109 --> 00:05:19,812
It'll help fellow mushroom
hunters identify their finds.
102
00:05:20,012 --> 00:05:21,579
So that's what you do?
103
00:05:21,781 --> 00:05:22,982
Mmm...
104
00:05:23,015 --> 00:05:24,750
Smell my smoke and you help
people find the right mushroom?
105
00:05:24,951 --> 00:05:27,519
I also raise ducks. It can be
very intimidating, you know.
106
00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:29,454
- You're intimidated by ducks?
- Well...
107
00:05:29,655 --> 00:05:30,656
Is your wife intimidated too?
108
00:05:30,856 --> 00:05:31,691
Well, yes!
109
00:05:32,058 --> 00:05:33,125
I'm beginning to see
the attraction.
110
00:05:33,326 --> 00:05:34,293
It's not the ducks exactly.
111
00:05:34,660 --> 00:05:37,495
It's the satisfaction of having
one need in our lives isolated
112
00:05:37,697 --> 00:05:39,065
from the rest of the world
that we find intimidating.
113
00:05:39,265 --> 00:05:40,967
Most people call that
one need "children."
114
00:05:41,167 --> 00:05:43,102
Yes, but could a child
lay 600 eggs in a year?
115
00:05:43,302 --> 00:05:44,536
Maybe if you had one.
116
00:05:44,737 --> 00:05:45,705
I'm too restless
to have children.
117
00:05:45,905 --> 00:05:47,106
- Is your wife restless too?
- No...
118
00:05:47,306 --> 00:05:48,074
But she likes the ducks for now.
119
00:05:48,374 --> 00:05:50,776
- What about later?
- Later she might move on.
120
00:05:50,977 --> 00:05:52,011
- To a baby?
- To a bee.
121
00:05:52,211 --> 00:05:53,112
She also likes beekeeping.
122
00:05:53,446 --> 00:05:55,513
What happens if you decide
you want to stay with the ducks?
123
00:05:55,715 --> 00:05:56,816
Then we're gonna have a problem.
124
00:05:57,016 --> 00:05:57,549
You ever had them before?
125
00:05:57,750 --> 00:05:58,851
- Before the ducks?
- Yeah.
126
00:05:59,051 --> 00:05:59,484
- And the mushrooms?
- Yeah.
127
00:05:59,785 --> 00:06:01,687
- And the cheating?
- Woah!
128
00:06:02,688 --> 00:06:03,555
No.
129
00:06:04,757 --> 00:06:07,159
That's far enough back.
What happened?
130
00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:09,494
I left her for an older woman,
but it didn't work out.
131
00:06:09,695 --> 00:06:10,229
And?
132
00:06:10,963 --> 00:06:12,698
And she took me back. We got
married very soon after that.
133
00:06:12,898 --> 00:06:13,799
She took you back?
134
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:14,800
She's very understanding.
135
00:06:15,301 --> 00:06:17,069
I could disappear for two days
and she'd just send me a text
136
00:06:17,269 --> 00:06:18,503
asking if I was all right.
137
00:06:18,704 --> 00:06:19,705
- Have you ever done that?
- Done what?
138
00:06:19,905 --> 00:06:20,673
Disappear.
139
00:06:20,706 --> 00:06:21,707
Once when I went hunting
for tail.
140
00:06:21,907 --> 00:06:22,675
Thought we already covered that?
141
00:06:22,875 --> 00:06:23,442
- No...
- No?
142
00:06:23,709 --> 00:06:24,910
- Un-huh.
- Were you disappointed?
143
00:06:25,111 --> 00:06:25,911
Yes.
144
00:06:26,445 --> 00:06:28,047
Well, you're honest,
I'll give you that.
145
00:06:28,247 --> 00:06:30,515
An Eagle Scout has to be honest.
146
00:06:30,783 --> 00:06:32,852
- You were an Eagle Scout.
- Weren't you?
147
00:06:33,052 --> 00:06:34,987
I would have been if
I'd earned all my badges.
148
00:06:35,187 --> 00:06:36,822
- You didn't earn them?
- No, I bought them..
149
00:06:37,023 --> 00:06:37,857
That must have upset
your parents.
150
00:06:38,124 --> 00:06:40,960
- They gave me the money.
- I could never do that.
151
00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:43,095
No, of course not, you were
too busy cheating on your wife.
152
00:06:43,295 --> 00:06:44,864
I wasn't cheating on my wife.
153
00:06:45,064 --> 00:06:46,866
You just told me
you went hunting for tail.
154
00:06:47,066 --> 00:06:50,069
Yes, I did. I went
hunting for bear and moose.
155
00:06:51,103 --> 00:06:52,537
Wait...
156
00:06:55,041 --> 00:06:56,042
So...
157
00:06:56,242 --> 00:06:59,078
You pick mushrooms,
you raise ducks,
158
00:06:59,445 --> 00:07:01,647
but you hunt for bear and moose?
159
00:07:01,847 --> 00:07:03,149
My father likes to go.
160
00:07:03,349 --> 00:07:05,084
You or your father?
161
00:07:06,185 --> 00:07:08,287
Do you like it
or do you have to go?
162
00:07:08,487 --> 00:07:09,889
I have to go.
163
00:07:10,089 --> 00:07:12,725
- Then just don't go.
- I have no choice.
164
00:07:12,925 --> 00:07:14,093
Why?
Because your father says so?
165
00:07:14,293 --> 00:07:15,928
No, because my wife says so.
166
00:07:16,128 --> 00:07:17,229
So you go hunting
with your wife?
167
00:07:17,430 --> 00:07:19,331
No, I go shopping with my wife.
168
00:07:19,832 --> 00:07:23,669
That's why I have to go now.
Besides, you're home anyway.
169
00:07:30,009 --> 00:07:31,343
He even knew where I lived.
170
00:07:34,413 --> 00:07:37,183
I thought that was it
but it wasn't it.
171
00:07:41,220 --> 00:07:42,620
Ohh!
172
00:07:48,828 --> 00:07:49,795
Hah!
173
00:07:52,865 --> 00:07:55,734
As a screenwriter,
I just couldn't pass this up.
174
00:07:56,035 --> 00:07:58,137
So that weekend, I decided
to invite him and his wife
175
00:07:58,337 --> 00:07:59,939
up to my beach house.
176
00:08:00,139 --> 00:08:02,708
I wasn't surprised
when he came alone.
177
00:08:03,242 --> 00:08:05,144
But I was surprised
that after that,
178
00:08:05,344 --> 00:08:07,780
every time I went someplace,
he was there.
179
00:08:07,980 --> 00:08:09,148
And no matter
where he turned up,
180
00:08:09,348 --> 00:08:10,916
he would always say
the same thing:
181
00:08:11,117 --> 00:08:13,152
We're on the same wavelength!
182
00:08:15,287 --> 00:08:17,723
A sushi restaurant, there...
183
00:08:17,923 --> 00:08:19,992
We're on the same wavelength.
184
00:08:22,061 --> 00:08:24,130
A local gym, there...
185
00:08:24,697 --> 00:08:26,398
We're on the same wavelength.
186
00:08:26,599 --> 00:08:28,167
I didn't even cry
when my wife died,
187
00:08:28,367 --> 00:08:31,003
but this kid was making me laugh
until I cried.
188
00:08:31,237 --> 00:08:33,305
We're on the same wavelength.
189
00:08:33,739 --> 00:08:35,741
We're on the same wavelength!
190
00:08:35,941 --> 00:08:38,410
And for that, I was grateful
to feel anything,
191
00:08:38,611 --> 00:08:40,779
and I wanted to feel some more.
192
00:08:42,148 --> 00:08:47,419
S-O-C-I-O...
193
00:08:48,053 --> 00:08:49,288
Okay.
194
00:08:51,857 --> 00:08:53,025
P-A...
195
00:08:53,225 --> 00:08:55,895
Well, there's nothing wrong
with your eyes.
196
00:08:56,095 --> 00:08:56,996
Great.
197
00:08:57,329 --> 00:09:00,366
But I think there might be
something wrong with your mind.
198
00:09:02,268 --> 00:09:03,235
Why?
199
00:09:03,435 --> 00:09:05,905
Because that word
isn't on the chart.
200
00:09:07,873 --> 00:09:09,175
Can you give me a prescription?
201
00:09:09,375 --> 00:09:13,245
I can give you an address.
202
00:09:13,445 --> 00:09:16,248
My brother is a psychiatrist.
203
00:09:16,448 --> 00:09:18,984
Oh no, I don't need him.
I need you.
204
00:09:19,685 --> 00:09:21,921
I can only give you
a pair of frames.
205
00:09:22,121 --> 00:09:23,055
Right...
206
00:09:23,255 --> 00:09:24,857
Do you have anything
intimidating?
207
00:09:25,057 --> 00:09:26,325
Intimidating frames?
208
00:09:26,525 --> 00:09:27,493
Yes.
209
00:09:27,526 --> 00:09:31,230
Something thick and black,
with dark lenses.
210
00:09:31,430 --> 00:09:32,798
Why dark?
211
00:09:32,998 --> 00:09:34,934
Makes it harder to see me.
212
00:09:35,134 --> 00:09:36,468
That's not going to solve
your problem.
213
00:09:36,670 --> 00:09:39,038
No, I know but I'm having dinner
with The Kid tonight and
214
00:09:39,238 --> 00:09:40,973
I think it might just
slow it down.
215
00:09:41,173 --> 00:09:42,741
Are you looking to save money?
216
00:09:43,042 --> 00:09:43,742
Of course.
217
00:09:43,943 --> 00:09:46,378
Then don't see him...
218
00:09:47,980 --> 00:09:50,115
And then you won't need
new glasses.
219
00:09:51,350 --> 00:09:52,785
Thank you.
220
00:09:54,153 --> 00:09:55,955
But I'm a writer...
221
00:09:56,488 --> 00:09:59,959
And I'm still trying
to read between the lines.
222
00:10:15,441 --> 00:10:16,475
Oh!
223
00:10:25,284 --> 00:10:26,986
What is this guy doing?
224
00:10:31,090 --> 00:10:32,791
What's the matter with this guy?
225
00:10:39,098 --> 00:10:41,267
What? What?
What does that mean?
226
00:10:44,270 --> 00:10:45,204
Why don't you...?
227
00:10:45,404 --> 00:10:46,939
Let me pass!
228
00:10:52,278 --> 00:10:54,213
What's the matter with you, huh?
229
00:10:54,413 --> 00:10:55,814
What? Are you psycho?
230
00:10:56,615 --> 00:10:58,550
What does that mean?
231
00:11:03,956 --> 00:11:06,492
Oh, no! C'mon!
232
00:11:23,575 --> 00:11:25,411
- Excuse me...
- Not now.
233
00:11:26,078 --> 00:11:27,513
Library humor.
234
00:11:28,247 --> 00:11:28,981
How can I help?
235
00:11:29,348 --> 00:11:32,384
I'm wondering if you have
any information on...
236
00:11:39,591 --> 00:11:40,559
What?
237
00:11:42,094 --> 00:11:45,030
If you have
any information on...
238
00:11:45,397 --> 00:11:46,965
Sociopaths.
239
00:11:47,166 --> 00:11:49,468
- I still can't hear you.
- Un-huh...
240
00:12:00,379 --> 00:12:01,480
Oh...
241
00:12:01,681 --> 00:12:03,082
My brother-in-law's one.
242
00:12:03,315 --> 00:12:04,483
Follow me.
243
00:12:26,605 --> 00:12:27,873
Here we are.
244
00:12:32,978 --> 00:12:34,480
It's a small section.
245
00:12:34,748 --> 00:12:37,650
Yeah, most of them
live in the city.
246
00:12:38,016 --> 00:12:40,919
There are just
a few stragglers up here.
247
00:12:41,186 --> 00:12:43,422
Now, which shelf?
248
00:12:44,490 --> 00:12:46,225
I don't understand.
249
00:12:46,558 --> 00:12:48,961
There are different types
of sociopaths.
250
00:12:49,161 --> 00:12:51,397
They each get their own shelves.
251
00:12:51,798 --> 00:12:54,166
What type
is your brother-in-law?
252
00:12:55,501 --> 00:12:56,602
Second shelf.
253
00:12:57,403 --> 00:12:59,639
- That's where I'll start.
- Okay.
254
00:13:19,158 --> 00:13:22,060
As he talks, he stares at you
and holds his gaze
255
00:13:22,261 --> 00:13:24,463
a beat longer than he should.
256
00:13:26,498 --> 00:13:27,700
Why the beat?
257
00:13:27,901 --> 00:13:31,403
Is it to make what he's saying
seem more important?
258
00:13:33,605 --> 00:13:35,607
Is it to convince himself
that what he's saying
259
00:13:35,809 --> 00:13:39,044
is more important
than what he actually is saying?
260
00:13:39,813 --> 00:13:43,949
Or is it to convince me
that he is as important as me?
261
00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:50,155
Not that I think I'm important.
262
00:13:51,056 --> 00:13:55,327
But if at least one other person
at the table thinks I am,
263
00:13:56,128 --> 00:14:00,700
it puts me in a better mood and
I order an expensive appetizer.
264
00:14:05,571 --> 00:14:07,439
The carpaccio please.
265
00:14:08,340 --> 00:14:10,175
I was thinking of
ordering the duck but...
266
00:14:10,375 --> 00:14:12,478
- Why do you stare?
- Because...
267
00:14:13,312 --> 00:14:14,213
Why do I what?
268
00:14:14,413 --> 00:14:14,881
Stare.
269
00:14:15,547 --> 00:14:17,416
You look at me a bit longer
than you should. Why?
270
00:14:18,083 --> 00:14:21,286
- That's the way I communicate.
- No, that's the way you stare.
271
00:14:21,487 --> 00:14:23,088
The way you talk is different.
272
00:14:23,288 --> 00:14:23,790
How do I talk?
273
00:14:24,256 --> 00:14:25,524
Like someone
who shouldn't be married.
274
00:14:25,725 --> 00:14:27,059
But I am married.
275
00:14:27,326 --> 00:14:29,495
Yeah, I wanted to talk
to you about that.
276
00:14:29,696 --> 00:14:30,996
You talk more than you listen.
277
00:14:31,196 --> 00:14:33,432
I have to talk,
I'm The Narrator.
278
00:14:33,633 --> 00:14:36,301
Now it's been my experience,
279
00:14:36,636 --> 00:14:38,170
with women, at least,
280
00:14:38,370 --> 00:14:40,707
that if she orders white wine
she's classy.
281
00:14:40,907 --> 00:14:43,041
If she orders red wine,
she has class,
282
00:14:43,242 --> 00:14:44,443
but can get a little wild.
283
00:14:44,644 --> 00:14:47,714
And if she orders rosé,
she's a slut.
284
00:14:47,947 --> 00:14:49,481
I'll have the rosé.
285
00:14:51,450 --> 00:14:52,719
Tap water for me, please.
286
00:14:57,556 --> 00:14:58,624
Does your wife order rosé?
287
00:14:58,825 --> 00:15:00,693
- No, she orders white.
- Hmm.
288
00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:03,630
Who are you smiling at?
289
00:15:03,997 --> 00:15:06,431
This older woman over there
who keeps looking at us.
290
00:15:06,633 --> 00:15:08,166
You like older women, right?
291
00:15:08,367 --> 00:15:08,835
I did.
292
00:15:09,067 --> 00:15:10,637
Ever been to a cougar club?
293
00:15:10,837 --> 00:15:12,271
- A what?
- A cougar club.
294
00:15:12,471 --> 00:15:15,240
A place where younger guys
go to meet older women.
295
00:15:15,507 --> 00:15:16,375
I have.
296
00:15:16,575 --> 00:15:17,777
Oh, what happened?
297
00:15:20,112 --> 00:15:20,579
Not much.
298
00:15:21,313 --> 00:15:23,048
Your last three responses
have been two-word answers,
299
00:15:23,248 --> 00:15:26,184
which tells me that
something very much did happen.
300
00:15:26,686 --> 00:15:27,787
I went in,
301
00:15:27,987 --> 00:15:29,321
I met somebody.
302
00:15:29,521 --> 00:15:31,223
I bought her a drink.
303
00:15:32,524 --> 00:15:33,726
She sat on my lap.
304
00:15:36,228 --> 00:15:36,796
I left.
305
00:15:36,996 --> 00:15:38,564
- Alone?
- I left.
306
00:15:38,765 --> 00:15:40,700
- Back to two words.
- I left alone.
307
00:15:40,900 --> 00:15:42,367
Three words. That's better.
308
00:15:42,568 --> 00:15:44,236
- Was this recent?
- Recent enough.
309
00:15:44,436 --> 00:15:46,471
"Recent enough."
310
00:15:48,540 --> 00:15:49,642
Do you think that's fair
to your wife?
311
00:15:49,842 --> 00:15:50,442
Nothing happened.
312
00:15:50,877 --> 00:15:52,277
But the thought that something
could happen,
313
00:15:52,477 --> 00:15:54,580
- that was enough for you?
- For now.
314
00:15:54,781 --> 00:15:57,215
I'm trying to get you from
now to later a little faster.
315
00:15:57,416 --> 00:15:58,216
Why?
316
00:16:25,277 --> 00:16:27,479
Have you ever read
"The Sociopath Next Door?"
317
00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:29,381
I don't live next door.
318
00:16:30,049 --> 00:16:31,718
Nevertheless, have you read it?
319
00:16:33,352 --> 00:16:34,020
No.
320
00:16:34,053 --> 00:16:36,355
Do you know what a sociopath is?
321
00:16:37,556 --> 00:16:38,357
No.
322
00:16:38,390 --> 00:16:40,592
You'd say no
even if you did know.
323
00:16:41,027 --> 00:16:43,830
Lack of conscience
is the biggest trait.
324
00:16:44,529 --> 00:16:46,264
One in 25 people is a sociopath.
325
00:16:46,465 --> 00:16:47,466
What are you saying?
326
00:16:47,667 --> 00:16:48,668
I'm saying
I just did a head count
327
00:16:48,868 --> 00:16:50,870
and it doesn't look good
for you.
328
00:16:52,571 --> 00:16:53,138
I have a conscience.
329
00:16:53,438 --> 00:16:54,741
Did you develop this
before or after
330
00:16:54,941 --> 00:16:56,341
you let my dog
fall through the ceiling?
331
00:16:56,541 --> 00:16:57,142
That wasn't my fault.
332
00:16:57,542 --> 00:16:58,811
What were you doing
up in the attic anyway?
333
00:16:59,012 --> 00:16:59,611
I was doing blow.
334
00:17:00,013 --> 00:17:00,780
Why didn't you just
do it downstairs?
335
00:17:01,346 --> 00:17:03,181
'Cause there's lots of dog hair
downstairs and I'm allergic.
336
00:17:03,382 --> 00:17:05,550
Be allergic to shellfish.
Not to my dog.
337
00:17:05,752 --> 00:17:08,553
- Clams on the half shell?
- Me.
338
00:17:25,337 --> 00:17:26,706
Tell me about your wife.
339
00:17:26,906 --> 00:17:27,807
Not much to tell really.
340
00:17:28,041 --> 00:17:29,942
Oh god, I hate people
who start stories that way.
341
00:17:30,143 --> 00:17:31,911
I'm only 31,
so it's gonna be a short story.
342
00:17:32,111 --> 00:17:33,913
- I prefer novels.
- That's because you're older.
343
00:17:34,113 --> 00:17:34,947
Is that a crack about my age?
344
00:17:35,347 --> 00:17:37,482
The photo on your driver's
license wasn't recent.
345
00:17:37,684 --> 00:17:38,517
And you saw
my driver's license when?
346
00:17:38,851 --> 00:17:39,752
When I was looking for
something to cut the coke with.
347
00:17:40,053 --> 00:17:42,220
- You went into my wallet?
- You left it lying around.
348
00:17:42,421 --> 00:17:43,856
I most certainly did not
leave it lying around,
349
00:17:44,057 --> 00:17:45,758
certainly not
when you're around.
350
00:17:45,958 --> 00:17:47,526
Are you saying
you don't trust me?
351
00:17:47,727 --> 00:17:49,829
You let my dog fall through
the kitchen ceiling!
352
00:17:50,029 --> 00:17:51,798
You didn't apologize
or offer me any money to fix it!
353
00:17:51,998 --> 00:17:52,899
Of course I don't trust you...
354
00:17:53,099 --> 00:17:54,466
Well, it was your fault.
355
00:17:54,667 --> 00:17:55,534
How was it my fault?
I was in the bathroom.
356
00:17:55,835 --> 00:17:57,937
Exactly. It was your fault
you were in the bathroom.
357
00:17:58,137 --> 00:17:59,237
If you'd come up
to the attic with me,
358
00:17:59,438 --> 00:18:00,173
then nothing
would have happened.
359
00:18:00,372 --> 00:18:02,274
I think you wanted
something to happen.
360
00:18:02,474 --> 00:18:04,209
- Between me and the dog?
- Between me and you.
361
00:18:05,111 --> 00:18:06,445
I don't know
what you're talking about.
362
00:18:06,646 --> 00:18:07,780
Really?
I think that you do.
363
00:18:07,980 --> 00:18:08,881
What kind of a person comes over
364
00:18:09,581 --> 00:18:11,516
to somebody's house for the weekend
with just the clothes on his back?
365
00:18:11,718 --> 00:18:12,819
I left from work.
I didn't have time to pack.
366
00:18:13,019 --> 00:18:14,954
Goes up into a hot attic
with a candle
367
00:18:15,154 --> 00:18:17,322
and proceeds to do
12 lines of coke.
368
00:18:17,522 --> 00:18:18,356
The candle was your idea.
369
00:18:18,557 --> 00:18:20,693
And doesn't offer to pay for it.
370
00:18:20,893 --> 00:18:22,762
- The candle?
- The coke!
371
00:18:22,995 --> 00:18:24,362
You counted the lines?
372
00:18:24,563 --> 00:18:26,331
I bought the cocaine!
373
00:18:26,531 --> 00:18:27,867
I count the things I pay for!
374
00:18:28,067 --> 00:18:29,534
Lower your voice.
375
00:18:30,169 --> 00:18:31,738
People are beginning to stare.
376
00:18:32,972 --> 00:18:34,239
Oh, yeah?
377
00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:35,708
How do you like it?
378
00:18:36,274 --> 00:18:38,543
I'd like it better
if we were at a strip club.
379
00:18:38,745 --> 00:18:39,377
What are you talking...?
380
00:18:39,679 --> 00:18:42,247
You know what?
Never mind. Why is that?
381
00:18:42,447 --> 00:18:43,683
Because I like staring
a stripper down
382
00:18:43,883 --> 00:18:44,884
when she's on stage.
383
00:18:45,118 --> 00:18:48,620
I can usually intimidate her
into doing anything I want.
384
00:18:48,821 --> 00:18:50,690
Too bad she isn't a duck.
385
00:18:50,890 --> 00:18:52,859
Does your wife know
you go to strip clubs?
386
00:18:53,059 --> 00:18:54,426
I don't tell her everything.
387
00:18:54,627 --> 00:18:55,762
Is that where
you picked up your little habit?
388
00:18:55,962 --> 00:18:57,496
- What habit?
- Your attic habit.
389
00:18:57,697 --> 00:18:58,296
I'm not an addict.
390
00:18:58,530 --> 00:18:59,932
You said "addict."
I said "attic."
391
00:19:00,133 --> 00:19:01,433
I'd really like to go
upstairs again.
392
00:19:01,634 --> 00:19:02,668
I don't want an addict
in my attic!
393
00:19:02,869 --> 00:19:03,502
I'll stay downstairs.
394
00:19:03,903 --> 00:19:05,337
I wouldn't let you
back in my house without
395
00:19:05,537 --> 00:19:06,806
a security deposit.
396
00:19:07,106 --> 00:19:08,540
Remember the next morning
when I asked you if
397
00:19:08,741 --> 00:19:10,342
you wanted something to eat
or some coffee?
398
00:19:10,542 --> 00:19:11,010
I remember.
399
00:19:11,276 --> 00:19:11,978
Do you remember what you said?
400
00:19:12,477 --> 00:19:14,579
I said "I don't have anything
when I first get up."
401
00:19:14,781 --> 00:19:15,982
That's right.
402
00:19:16,015 --> 00:19:17,917
Then 10 minutes later when
we drove to my neighbor's house
403
00:19:18,117 --> 00:19:20,820
to go clamming and she
offered you coffee, you said...
404
00:19:21,020 --> 00:19:22,487
Oh, yes please.
405
00:19:24,456 --> 00:19:25,457
Don't give me the eyes!
406
00:19:25,658 --> 00:19:26,926
I said,
407
00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:30,696
"Not when I first get up."
408
00:19:32,397 --> 00:19:33,733
I didn't say it like that.
409
00:19:33,933 --> 00:19:35,433
That's exactly how you said it.
410
00:19:35,735 --> 00:19:36,636
I didn't mean anything by it.
411
00:19:36,869 --> 00:19:39,639
That's exactly what you say
when you get caught.
412
00:19:39,839 --> 00:19:40,907
Remember the first thing
you said to me
413
00:19:41,107 --> 00:19:42,474
after the dog
fell through the ceiling?
414
00:19:42,675 --> 00:19:43,743
I don't remember.
415
00:19:43,943 --> 00:19:45,678
You said, "This is one of
the top 10 things
416
00:19:45,878 --> 00:19:47,579
"that has ever happened to me."
417
00:19:48,981 --> 00:19:49,682
It was.
418
00:19:50,917 --> 00:19:51,583
Do you want to hear
the other 9?
419
00:19:52,018 --> 00:19:54,854
No, I'm 41 years old
and that's not the point.
420
00:19:55,054 --> 00:19:56,521
What is the point?
421
00:19:56,722 --> 00:19:58,090
The point is
you weren't concerned
422
00:19:58,291 --> 00:20:00,559
about anything but yourself.
423
00:20:04,396 --> 00:20:05,698
That's the way I've always been.
424
00:20:05,965 --> 00:20:07,633
Is your wife as unconcerned?
425
00:20:07,834 --> 00:20:10,502
- She's very concerned.
- She should be.
426
00:20:11,037 --> 00:20:12,839
I don't know how
she puts up with you, kid.
427
00:20:13,039 --> 00:20:14,140
Don't call me kid.
I have a name.
428
00:20:14,372 --> 00:20:18,410
I know you have a name, I just
can't bring myself to say it.
429
00:20:20,780 --> 00:20:21,379
Why not?
430
00:20:21,613 --> 00:20:22,815
It implies
a sense of familiarity
431
00:20:23,015 --> 00:20:23,683
between the two of us
432
00:20:23,983 --> 00:20:24,616
that I'm not at all
comfortable with.
433
00:20:24,851 --> 00:20:27,987
No, you and I
are on a strictly...
434
00:20:28,888 --> 00:20:30,522
pronoun name basis.
435
00:20:30,890 --> 00:20:32,557
Can I call you by your name?
436
00:20:32,758 --> 00:20:34,894
No, I'd be equally
uncomfortable with that.
437
00:20:35,094 --> 00:20:36,428
Okay...
438
00:20:36,729 --> 00:20:37,395
Kid.
439
00:20:37,897 --> 00:20:40,933
See? You can't even come up
with anything original.
440
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:42,802
Okay...
441
00:20:43,336 --> 00:20:45,037
- Friend.
- Friend?
442
00:20:45,238 --> 00:20:46,504
You're a neighbor.
443
00:20:46,706 --> 00:20:47,572
Pal?
444
00:20:47,773 --> 00:20:48,975
Don't tell me what to call you.
445
00:20:49,175 --> 00:20:50,575
Well, somebody
has to make a decision.
446
00:20:50,776 --> 00:20:53,012
- Have we decided?
- Yes, we have.
447
00:20:57,016 --> 00:20:59,517
I'll have the prime rib
and the sociopath here
448
00:20:59,719 --> 00:21:02,520
will have the pasta
from the children's menu.
449
00:21:05,658 --> 00:21:06,859
Very good, sir.
450
00:21:09,494 --> 00:21:11,030
Oh, I like those glasses.
451
00:21:11,230 --> 00:21:12,564
But I can hardly see you though.
452
00:21:12,765 --> 00:21:13,465
That's the point.
453
00:21:13,666 --> 00:21:14,166
I wear contacts.
454
00:21:14,634 --> 00:21:17,103
And that's how I can see
right through you.
455
00:21:20,139 --> 00:21:22,041
You don't have to order for me.
I'm not a child.
456
00:21:22,241 --> 00:21:22,875
Do you remember what you said
457
00:21:23,276 --> 00:21:24,844
the first time
I gave you a ride in my truck?
458
00:21:25,044 --> 00:21:27,146
I said,
"Where are you taking me?"
459
00:21:27,512 --> 00:21:28,381
That's right.
460
00:21:28,781 --> 00:21:30,983
Don't you think you should
have said, "Where are we going?"
461
00:21:31,183 --> 00:21:33,085
- I did.
- No, you didn't.
462
00:21:33,286 --> 00:21:34,887
You said,
"Where are you taking me."
463
00:21:35,087 --> 00:21:36,588
- It's the same thing.
- No, it isn't.
464
00:21:36,789 --> 00:21:37,790
"Where are we going?"
is two friends
465
00:21:37,990 --> 00:21:38,958
going out for a night
on the town.
466
00:21:39,292 --> 00:21:42,995
"Where are you taking me?" is
two friends going home to bed.
467
00:21:43,195 --> 00:21:44,562
What are you saying?
468
00:21:44,764 --> 00:21:46,065
I'm saying that
this is turning into
469
00:21:46,265 --> 00:21:48,533
a gay relationship
without the sex.
470
00:21:49,068 --> 00:21:50,435
Eeehh...
471
00:21:55,041 --> 00:21:57,843
- What was that?
- An allergy.
472
00:22:00,112 --> 00:22:01,948
Are you saying I'm gay?
473
00:22:02,148 --> 00:22:03,783
I'm saying that you
474
00:22:03,983 --> 00:22:05,685
are about as straight
as this corkscrew.
475
00:22:05,885 --> 00:22:07,053
Now what do you want?
476
00:22:07,253 --> 00:22:08,788
What do you want?
477
00:22:14,961 --> 00:22:17,630
Excuse me, fellas.
478
00:22:17,830 --> 00:22:21,167
But have either of you read,
The Sociopath Next Door because
479
00:22:21,367 --> 00:22:22,969
- Shut up!
- Shut up!
480
00:22:26,839 --> 00:22:29,607
- Why are you mirroring me?
- It's you that's mirroring me.
481
00:22:29,809 --> 00:22:31,911
Oh my God, you're even
mirroring my mirrors.
482
00:22:32,111 --> 00:22:33,611
If you would have asked me
first what I wanted,
483
00:22:33,813 --> 00:22:35,114
it would've been easier
for me to say "your wife."
484
00:22:35,314 --> 00:22:36,548
But since you asked me
after I asked you,
485
00:22:36,749 --> 00:22:37,482
it's much more difficult
to answer.
486
00:22:37,783 --> 00:22:40,720
Regardless of who asked
the question first...
487
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:42,888
you just answered it.
488
00:22:50,963 --> 00:22:52,564
You tricked me into answering.
489
00:22:52,765 --> 00:22:53,899
I didn't trick you.
490
00:22:54,100 --> 00:22:57,069
You got me so frustrated
that I blew.
491
00:22:57,269 --> 00:22:58,603
Somebody had to make a decision.
492
00:22:58,804 --> 00:22:59,271
Wow.
493
00:22:59,537 --> 00:23:01,841
Spoken like a true sociopath.
494
00:23:02,375 --> 00:23:03,776
You make me think
that I'm in control
495
00:23:03,976 --> 00:23:05,644
and all the while,
you're actually in control.
496
00:23:05,878 --> 00:23:06,912
I'm sure I don't know
what you mean.
497
00:23:07,179 --> 00:23:09,982
I'm sure that you do and now
you're gonna gaslight me.
498
00:23:10,983 --> 00:23:12,118
"Gaslight?"
499
00:23:12,318 --> 00:23:13,719
Yeah, it's named
after an old movie
500
00:23:13,919 --> 00:23:15,087
where a husband
drives his wife insane
501
00:23:15,287 --> 00:23:17,056
by making her doubt herself.
502
00:23:17,256 --> 00:23:19,058
You make me doubt myself.
503
00:23:19,392 --> 00:23:22,594
- You're mimicking me.
- You're mimicking me.
504
00:23:28,134 --> 00:23:30,202
Maybe we're both sociopaths.
505
00:23:31,270 --> 00:23:32,838
That's impossible.
506
00:23:33,039 --> 00:23:34,173
There's not enough people
in the room
507
00:23:34,373 --> 00:23:36,142
for there to be two of us.
508
00:23:37,176 --> 00:23:38,778
Did you count the bar?
509
00:23:42,314 --> 00:23:43,949
No, I did not.
510
00:23:44,750 --> 00:23:46,719
I did not count the bar.
511
00:23:57,863 --> 00:23:59,765
We need another 25.
512
00:23:59,965 --> 00:24:02,201
- Does the bartender count?
- The bartender counts.
513
00:24:02,401 --> 00:24:04,637
Did you get the guy talking
to himself in the corner?
514
00:24:04,837 --> 00:24:05,905
Yeah, I counted him.
515
00:24:06,105 --> 00:24:07,773
- He could be the one.
- Too obvious.
516
00:24:07,973 --> 00:24:09,875
They usually blend in.
517
00:24:11,210 --> 00:24:12,344
Hold on.
518
00:24:20,386 --> 00:24:21,720
Nah, it's okay.
You can go.
519
00:24:25,191 --> 00:24:26,659
I count 17.
520
00:24:26,859 --> 00:24:28,894
Yeah, I got the same count.
521
00:24:29,095 --> 00:24:30,162
Not enough.
522
00:24:30,796 --> 00:24:32,865
Well, one of us
is off the hook.
523
00:24:33,065 --> 00:24:35,901
Not so fast.
We gotta check the bathrooms.
524
00:24:36,202 --> 00:24:37,970
I'm gonna go look
in the men's room.
525
00:24:38,170 --> 00:24:39,939
Why can't I take the men's room?
526
00:24:40,139 --> 00:24:42,208
Because you're gonna go talk
to that woman over there.
527
00:24:42,408 --> 00:24:44,009
She's gonna go check
the ladies room.
528
00:24:44,210 --> 00:24:45,678
That's why.
529
00:25:04,363 --> 00:25:06,132
Can I buy you a drink?
530
00:25:06,332 --> 00:25:08,701
- What are you, 12?
- I'm 31.
531
00:25:09,301 --> 00:25:11,103
Is that guy
your father over there?
532
00:25:11,303 --> 00:25:12,738
No, he's my friend...
533
00:25:12,938 --> 00:25:14,874
Ah, pal, ah...
534
00:25:15,074 --> 00:25:17,943
Neighbor... God!
I don't know who he is.
535
00:25:18,144 --> 00:25:20,079
Well, this is off
to a good start.
536
00:25:23,015 --> 00:25:24,783
Can I see some ID?
537
00:25:26,051 --> 00:25:28,354
I was just having dinner
over there.
538
00:25:28,554 --> 00:25:31,757
That was over there,
this is over here.
539
00:25:31,957 --> 00:25:33,259
ID?
540
00:25:42,234 --> 00:25:43,802
I'll have a rosé...
541
00:25:44,003 --> 00:25:46,705
I mean, I'll have a white wine.
542
00:25:46,939 --> 00:25:48,040
That's too bad.
543
00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:50,709
- I'm having red.
- I'll have red.
544
00:25:50,910 --> 00:25:52,978
Any particular kind?
545
00:25:53,746 --> 00:25:55,414
I'm having the kind
that bears my name.
546
00:25:55,614 --> 00:25:58,184
I'll have her.
I mean I'll have that.
547
00:25:59,318 --> 00:26:02,988
There were two more in
the men's room. That's 19.
548
00:26:03,522 --> 00:26:04,790
Ma'am.
549
00:26:10,162 --> 00:26:11,697
19?
550
00:26:11,964 --> 00:26:14,900
Ah, yes, my 19th birthday,
it was great.
551
00:26:15,100 --> 00:26:17,303
We were talking
about that before.
552
00:26:17,503 --> 00:26:18,938
Before what?
553
00:26:20,806 --> 00:26:23,142
Before... the before.
554
00:26:23,976 --> 00:26:26,145
Well, that's clear.
555
00:26:26,345 --> 00:26:27,846
- You married?
- Basically, yes.
556
00:26:28,047 --> 00:26:29,181
- You understand?
- No...
557
00:26:29,381 --> 00:26:30,983
But it's consistent.
558
00:26:38,057 --> 00:26:39,758
Can I ask you a question?
559
00:26:39,959 --> 00:26:42,228
Married, three times, one kid.
560
00:26:42,428 --> 00:26:45,965
Wow, that's not
what I was gonna ask.
561
00:26:46,165 --> 00:26:47,900
Impossible.
They what they all ask.
562
00:26:48,100 --> 00:26:49,935
It wouldn't even occur to me
to ask that.
563
00:26:50,135 --> 00:26:52,238
So you're saying
you're different?
564
00:26:52,438 --> 00:26:53,505
No, you're saying I'm different.
565
00:26:53,707 --> 00:26:54,873
So what are you saying?
566
00:26:55,074 --> 00:26:56,041
I'm saying hello.
567
00:26:56,242 --> 00:26:57,076
Hello!
568
00:26:57,977 --> 00:26:58,911
Yep...
569
00:26:59,545 --> 00:27:01,313
- You are different.
- A little.
570
00:27:01,513 --> 00:27:04,083
- How little?
- Largely... little.
571
00:27:05,084 --> 00:27:08,254
Does your "basically married"
wife talk the same way you do?
572
00:27:08,454 --> 00:27:10,055
She doesn't talk that much.
573
00:27:10,256 --> 00:27:12,925
Maybe 'cause she doesn't know
what to say.
574
00:27:13,125 --> 00:27:15,194
I'd say you're very attractive.
575
00:27:15,394 --> 00:27:16,562
I'd say you're not wearing
a wedding ring.
576
00:27:16,762 --> 00:27:20,332
I'd say I'm not wearing a ring
because you're very attractive.
577
00:27:20,532 --> 00:27:21,767
Mmm...
578
00:27:21,967 --> 00:27:23,135
See?
579
00:27:23,335 --> 00:27:24,937
You're not that different.
580
00:27:25,137 --> 00:27:26,438
I guess not...
581
00:27:27,873 --> 00:27:29,508
Except for one little thing.
582
00:27:29,709 --> 00:27:31,377
Oh yeah, what's that?
583
00:27:31,977 --> 00:27:34,413
I have a thing for bathrooms.
584
00:27:38,284 --> 00:27:39,551
Men's?
585
00:27:42,121 --> 00:27:43,222
No.
586
00:27:47,326 --> 00:27:49,361
Oh God, I was watching you
all through dinner, you know.
587
00:27:49,561 --> 00:27:50,796
I heard.
588
00:27:50,829 --> 00:27:53,465
When you took that bread stick
and shoved it in the guy's face,
589
00:27:53,667 --> 00:27:55,134
my God, it really
did something to me.
590
00:27:55,334 --> 00:27:58,103
- No, I hope you're okay.
- I will be.
591
00:28:01,907 --> 00:28:04,009
God, I love a man in red pants.
592
00:28:04,209 --> 00:28:05,477
- I hope you're privileged.
- I am...
593
00:28:05,679 --> 00:28:06,612
My family has money.
594
00:28:06,979 --> 00:28:09,815
Oh, that's not the kind of
privilege I was talking about.
595
00:28:10,015 --> 00:28:11,483
Were your husbands privileged?
596
00:28:11,685 --> 00:28:13,852
Underprivileged.
That's why we got divorced.
597
00:28:14,053 --> 00:28:15,020
I'm happily married.
598
00:28:15,220 --> 00:28:16,588
Yeah, in a woman's bathroom?
599
00:28:16,790 --> 00:28:19,058
If I told you why I'm here,
you wouldn't believe it.
600
00:28:19,258 --> 00:28:20,225
I believe almost anything.
601
00:28:25,531 --> 00:28:26,332
Excuse me.
602
00:28:26,532 --> 00:28:28,200
- Are you alone?
- Yes!
603
00:28:29,968 --> 00:28:32,304
My boyfriend
left me this morning.
604
00:28:33,572 --> 00:28:35,941
It's a horrible situation.
605
00:28:37,376 --> 00:28:38,610
Horrible.
606
00:28:40,245 --> 00:28:42,848
And it doesn't look good.
607
00:28:46,653 --> 00:28:49,154
No. I meant,
"Are you working alone?"
608
00:28:50,322 --> 00:28:52,091
Oh, yeah...
609
00:28:53,492 --> 00:28:55,361
Another tap water?
610
00:29:01,100 --> 00:29:02,368
Why do they call it Happy Hour?
611
00:29:02,568 --> 00:29:03,636
I don't know.
612
00:29:04,570 --> 00:29:07,206
You think people are
really happy during that hour?
613
00:29:07,406 --> 00:29:09,241
I told you I don't know.
614
00:29:09,642 --> 00:29:11,944
The sign was here
when I bought the place.
615
00:29:12,511 --> 00:29:14,580
An hour is a long time,
616
00:29:14,781 --> 00:29:16,582
especially to be happy.
617
00:29:17,717 --> 00:29:19,485
I'd rather be sad.
618
00:29:19,686 --> 00:29:21,053
Why?
619
00:29:22,621 --> 00:29:24,556
There's no time limit.
620
00:29:29,696 --> 00:29:32,665
I'm trying to find out
if I'm a sociopath.
621
00:29:32,866 --> 00:29:35,100
A sociopath, really?
622
00:29:35,769 --> 00:29:38,270
I doubt it because there's
not enough of us in here.
623
00:29:38,470 --> 00:29:40,038
How do you know
about sociopaths?
624
00:29:40,239 --> 00:29:41,240
Who doesn't know
about sociopaths?
625
00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:43,008
- I didn't.
- Well, you wouldn't...
626
00:29:43,208 --> 00:29:44,042
if you are one.
627
00:29:44,243 --> 00:29:45,678
I've heard that before.
628
00:29:47,079 --> 00:29:48,447
Ahh, all clear.
629
00:29:48,815 --> 00:29:51,550
- Are we good to go?
- We stand at 19.
630
00:29:51,751 --> 00:29:54,520
Okay, we're still on
the nineteen thing.
631
00:29:55,722 --> 00:29:58,056
Happy Birthday...
632
00:30:18,477 --> 00:30:21,180
There was nobody else
in the bathroom.
633
00:30:21,380 --> 00:30:23,582
But five more
were in the kitchen.
634
00:30:23,783 --> 00:30:25,117
One short.
635
00:30:26,018 --> 00:30:27,152
24...
636
00:30:27,352 --> 00:30:28,520
Too bad for you.
637
00:30:35,227 --> 00:30:37,029
25...
638
00:30:38,497 --> 00:30:40,199
Too bad for you.
639
00:30:44,536 --> 00:30:48,607
- You like older vehicles, too?
- I don't like to depreciate.
640
00:30:48,942 --> 00:30:51,143
Who in the world does?
641
00:30:53,145 --> 00:30:54,446
What did you say
you do again?
642
00:30:54,647 --> 00:30:55,648
I didn't.
643
00:30:55,849 --> 00:30:58,050
Oh-oh, back to
the two-word answers.
644
00:30:58,250 --> 00:30:58,952
After what you just
put me through,
645
00:30:59,251 --> 00:31:00,018
you're lucky I'm talking
to you at all.
646
00:31:00,586 --> 00:31:02,755
- After what I put YOU through?
- I'm not the one after my wife.
647
00:31:02,956 --> 00:31:05,023
Don't you have your own wife?
648
00:31:05,424 --> 00:31:07,092
I did. She died.
649
00:31:08,060 --> 00:31:09,228
I'm sorry.
650
00:31:09,461 --> 00:31:11,463
I assume she drank white wine?
651
00:31:11,664 --> 00:31:12,699
All the time.
652
00:31:13,766 --> 00:31:16,034
Too much of the time, actually.
653
00:31:16,435 --> 00:31:18,003
Were you happy?
654
00:31:18,370 --> 00:31:19,772
An old car is like
an old marriage.
655
00:31:19,973 --> 00:31:20,439
After a while,
656
00:31:21,173 --> 00:31:23,342
you don't even realize
it's not working properly.
657
00:31:23,542 --> 00:31:24,543
I see.
658
00:31:24,744 --> 00:31:26,345
How do you see? You're 31.
659
00:31:26,545 --> 00:31:27,346
You're only 41.
660
00:31:27,647 --> 00:31:29,615
- But I've seen more.
- So I've seen less?
661
00:31:29,816 --> 00:31:31,283
A lot less.
Surprisingly less.
662
00:31:31,483 --> 00:31:32,719
- I like surprises.
- Yeah?
663
00:31:32,919 --> 00:31:35,487
When your wife leaves you,
don't be surprised.
664
00:31:36,255 --> 00:31:38,524
This guy behind me
is in for a surprise.
665
00:31:38,725 --> 00:31:41,460
- He's following me too close.
- Careful...
666
00:31:41,661 --> 00:31:44,096
Remember, sociopaths are prone
to sudden outbursts.
667
00:31:44,296 --> 00:31:45,163
Yeah?
668
00:31:46,565 --> 00:31:48,500
Watch this outburst.
669
00:31:59,913 --> 00:32:03,415
Too bad psychiatrists
don't issue gift certificates.
670
00:32:11,925 --> 00:32:12,892
Do you have the money
to tailgate me?
671
00:32:13,091 --> 00:32:15,795
What are you crazy? You could
have caused an accident.
672
00:32:15,995 --> 00:32:17,062
Careful!
673
00:32:17,262 --> 00:32:18,698
He's a sociopath!
674
00:32:18,898 --> 00:32:21,500
I have a sister-in-law
who's one of those.
675
00:32:21,701 --> 00:32:24,369
I really really don't like her.
676
00:32:24,938 --> 00:32:27,239
I don't care about your wife's
sister! I care about my truck!
677
00:32:27,439 --> 00:32:30,576
So let me ask you again, do you
have the money to tailgate me?
678
00:32:30,777 --> 00:32:33,211
None of your business
how much money I have.
679
00:32:33,412 --> 00:32:34,279
That means you don't.
680
00:32:34,479 --> 00:32:35,815
It also means you don't have
the money to pay
681
00:32:36,015 --> 00:32:38,183
- for my chiropractor.
- What chiropractor?
682
00:32:38,383 --> 00:32:40,787
The chiropractor I'd call if
you hit me from this direction
683
00:32:40,987 --> 00:32:43,088
causing my neck to go
in that direction!
684
00:32:43,288 --> 00:32:45,390
- But I didn't hit you!
- But you could have!
685
00:32:45,591 --> 00:32:46,793
Much the same way
you could have had
686
00:32:46,993 --> 00:32:48,393
a happy marriage.
687
00:32:51,864 --> 00:32:54,366
How do you know
my marriage isn't happy?
688
00:32:54,566 --> 00:32:56,468
You're all hunched over
and too close to the wheel.
689
00:32:56,669 --> 00:32:58,337
You're not getting laid.
690
00:33:01,306 --> 00:33:02,675
I drive this way all the time.
691
00:33:02,875 --> 00:33:04,343
So you haven't been getting laid
for a while?
692
00:33:04,543 --> 00:33:05,611
None of your business!
693
00:33:05,878 --> 00:33:08,681
I'm sure your shortsightedness
isn't helping the situation.
694
00:33:08,881 --> 00:33:10,549
How do you know
I'm short-sighted?
695
00:33:10,750 --> 00:33:12,150
Because when you passed
the merge before,
696
00:33:12,351 --> 00:33:13,853
you waited too long
to put your signal on.
697
00:33:14,053 --> 00:33:14,620
If you had the ability
to look ahead,
698
00:33:15,220 --> 00:33:17,155
you would have seen the obstacle
before you got to it,
699
00:33:17,356 --> 00:33:18,323
which would have put you
in the car in front of me
700
00:33:18,523 --> 00:33:19,726
instead of the car behind me,
701
00:33:19,926 --> 00:33:21,894
which is why
we're at this point.
702
00:33:22,461 --> 00:33:24,764
You figured out all this
from the way I drive?
703
00:33:24,964 --> 00:33:26,231
I told you!
704
00:33:26,431 --> 00:33:27,566
He's crazy.
705
00:33:27,934 --> 00:33:30,302
Yeah, well, how do you drive?
706
00:33:30,903 --> 00:33:31,904
Not close.
707
00:33:32,772 --> 00:33:34,339
I don't like automatics.
708
00:33:34,539 --> 00:33:37,442
I wanted to buy a stick,
my wife wouldn't...
709
00:33:40,445 --> 00:33:41,914
So I was right.
710
00:33:42,347 --> 00:33:44,416
It hasn't been going well...
711
00:33:44,616 --> 00:33:45,885
- Lately.
- Lately?
712
00:33:46,218 --> 00:33:49,454
Well, it hasn't been going well
for a while.
713
00:33:51,623 --> 00:33:53,191
I'm sorry to hear that.
714
00:33:53,392 --> 00:33:55,260
It wasn't always like this!
715
00:33:55,460 --> 00:33:57,897
Two years ago, I would have seen
that merge coming.
716
00:33:58,097 --> 00:34:00,399
Don't be so hard on yourself.
It was a heavy merge.
717
00:34:00,599 --> 00:34:03,168
Don't make excuses.
A merge is a merge.
718
00:34:03,368 --> 00:34:04,403
If that's the way
you feel about it.
719
00:34:04,603 --> 00:34:06,538
That is the way
I feel about it!
720
00:34:06,739 --> 00:34:08,875
See, there are a lot
of indecisive guys out there
721
00:34:09,075 --> 00:34:10,877
in indecisive marriages.
722
00:34:11,110 --> 00:34:14,814
That is why they put
the right turn signal on
723
00:34:15,014 --> 00:34:16,281
before making a left,
724
00:34:16,481 --> 00:34:18,885
and the left one on
before making a right.
725
00:34:19,085 --> 00:34:20,853
I can tell you've put
a lot of thought into it.
726
00:34:21,054 --> 00:34:24,256
Maybe I was supposed to end up
behind you tonight
727
00:34:24,456 --> 00:34:26,625
so you could set me straight.
728
00:34:30,630 --> 00:34:32,732
Do you want to hit me?
729
00:34:33,700 --> 00:34:35,367
I'm not a violent person.
730
00:34:35,567 --> 00:34:38,470
Hey, you could hit my truck?
731
00:34:42,474 --> 00:34:44,911
I mean it might make you
feel better.
732
00:34:46,578 --> 00:34:47,412
Hunh?
733
00:34:47,780 --> 00:34:48,881
Careful.
734
00:34:49,082 --> 00:34:50,282
It's a trick.
735
00:34:51,249 --> 00:34:53,920
What do you usually do
to work out your aggression?
736
00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:55,955
I usually go to the library.
737
00:34:56,221 --> 00:34:57,957
Library's closed.
738
00:34:58,725 --> 00:34:59,926
Hit me!
739
00:35:02,461 --> 00:35:04,463
Ooo, start slow.
740
00:35:04,797 --> 00:35:05,530
Is this good?
741
00:35:05,932 --> 00:35:06,966
Don't talk to me.
I'm not supposed to be here.
742
00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:09,434
I'm supposed to be there,
unaware you're gonna hit me.
743
00:35:09,635 --> 00:35:10,903
I'd rather you be here.
744
00:35:11,104 --> 00:35:12,805
He can't be. That's why
it's called an accident.
745
00:35:13,005 --> 00:35:15,875
Ignore him. Just go slow
like you're on a first date.
746
00:35:16,075 --> 00:35:17,677
- How's this?
- Good!
747
00:35:17,877 --> 00:35:19,511
Now speed up like
you're on the honeymoon.
748
00:35:19,712 --> 00:35:21,613
Boy, this is getting exciting!
749
00:35:21,814 --> 00:35:23,448
Has your life ever
flashed before your eyes?
750
00:35:23,649 --> 00:35:25,383
Once, and I didn't like
what I saw.
751
00:35:25,584 --> 00:35:26,953
Have you ever had
a near-death experience?
752
00:35:27,153 --> 00:35:28,755
I hope I'm about
to have one now.
753
00:35:28,955 --> 00:35:31,389
By the way, why are
you doing this for me?
754
00:35:31,590 --> 00:35:33,291
Because I like to help people.
755
00:35:33,492 --> 00:35:35,460
And it's also not my truck!
756
00:35:35,661 --> 00:35:40,398
- Ahhhh!
- AHHHHHH!
757
00:36:02,621 --> 00:36:05,457
- Doctor, am I going to die?
- Yes!
758
00:36:06,025 --> 00:36:08,728
It's a horrible situation.
Horrible.
759
00:36:08,995 --> 00:36:11,530
And it doesn't look good.
760
00:36:12,198 --> 00:36:15,001
Well, at least I'll be
with my wife.
761
00:36:15,201 --> 00:36:17,536
We'll be putting you under now.
762
00:36:17,737 --> 00:36:19,337
I'm ready.
763
00:36:24,110 --> 00:36:26,679
You're an anesthesiologist?
764
00:36:26,979 --> 00:36:28,748
That's what you do?
765
00:36:28,948 --> 00:36:32,450
See you on the other side.
766
00:36:54,841 --> 00:36:56,976
This is one of the top 10 things
that's ever happened to me.
767
00:36:57,176 --> 00:36:58,845
Did you say something?
768
00:36:59,145 --> 00:37:00,378
No.
769
00:37:00,713 --> 00:37:03,015
Mmmm, I like Febreze...
770
00:37:04,449 --> 00:37:06,018
You want some Febreze?
771
00:37:07,519 --> 00:37:09,621
- I'm good.
- You sure?
772
00:37:09,822 --> 00:37:11,523
I said no.
773
00:37:11,991 --> 00:37:13,993
My wife likes Febreze.
774
00:37:17,096 --> 00:37:19,065
Alright, I'll try it.
775
00:37:19,464 --> 00:37:21,366
That's one of their best ones.
776
00:37:21,566 --> 00:37:24,402
It reminds me of when my wife
and I went on our honeymoon.
777
00:37:24,603 --> 00:37:26,772
You want to know where we went?
778
00:37:31,344 --> 00:37:34,412
- Not especially, no.
- Sicily.
779
00:37:34,714 --> 00:37:37,850
I'm Italian, you know.
Ahh, it was amazing.
780
00:37:38,184 --> 00:37:39,986
So romantic.
Can you imagine?
781
00:37:40,186 --> 00:37:41,553
Linen and Sky.
782
00:37:41,754 --> 00:37:44,123
Hot sun,
beautiful beaches.
783
00:37:44,323 --> 00:37:45,992
Skinny dipping at night...
784
00:37:46,192 --> 00:37:48,694
I don't have
a great imagination.
785
00:37:48,895 --> 00:37:51,563
- Keep it.
- I really don't want to.
786
00:37:52,298 --> 00:37:54,466
Why? I have a lot more scents
where that came from.
787
00:37:54,667 --> 00:37:55,801
I would prefer no scents.
788
00:37:56,002 --> 00:37:57,770
I'd rather have some scents
than no scents.
789
00:37:57,970 --> 00:37:59,705
If you had any sense,
you wouldn't have gotten married.
790
00:37:59,906 --> 00:38:01,140
But I love her.
791
00:38:01,573 --> 00:38:03,075
You left her!
792
00:38:03,508 --> 00:38:04,944
But I came back.
793
00:38:05,410 --> 00:38:08,381
She took you back,
which is nonsense.
794
00:38:08,613 --> 00:38:10,149
- She's very understanding.
- She's too understanding.
795
00:38:10,349 --> 00:38:12,550
I don't understand.
796
00:38:12,752 --> 00:38:15,087
You're a kid who wears red pants
797
00:38:15,288 --> 00:38:17,555
and belongs
to a mushroom society.
798
00:38:17,757 --> 00:38:20,625
- Who would take you seriously?
- Apparently she does.
799
00:38:20,826 --> 00:38:22,460
Does she apparently know
you stole a truck?
800
00:38:22,695 --> 00:38:24,964
I didn't steal a truck.
I borrowed it from a friend.
801
00:38:25,164 --> 00:38:29,135
Who would have you as a friend?
802
00:38:29,335 --> 00:38:30,903
Another mushroom picker?
803
00:38:31,103 --> 00:38:33,505
I was hoping
we could be friends.
804
00:38:33,706 --> 00:38:35,775
Real friends,
not just acquaintances.
805
00:38:36,642 --> 00:38:38,811
I had my heart set
on acquaintances.
806
00:38:39,211 --> 00:38:40,713
The guy that drove the car
was my friend.
807
00:38:40,913 --> 00:38:42,181
The guy who was driving the car
got divorced.
808
00:38:42,381 --> 00:38:44,549
- He was unhappy.
- I'm unhappy.
809
00:38:47,119 --> 00:38:49,621
Your wife would make me
less unhappy.
810
00:38:49,822 --> 00:38:50,990
Would "Meadows and Rain"
make you happy?
811
00:38:51,190 --> 00:38:52,892
Would you please stop talking
about Febreze!
812
00:38:53,092 --> 00:38:54,193
I'm talking about real life.
813
00:38:54,393 --> 00:38:56,461
What's the difference?
814
00:39:04,036 --> 00:39:06,005
Ahhh, hello.
815
00:39:07,073 --> 00:39:08,007
Mmm...
816
00:39:10,176 --> 00:39:12,044
My wife's on her way up.
817
00:39:13,079 --> 00:39:14,612
What?
818
00:39:15,881 --> 00:39:17,183
Ohh...
819
00:39:18,184 --> 00:39:21,619
- I gotta get out of here.
- Why? There's no time.
820
00:39:21,887 --> 00:39:23,856
Because if she starts
feeling romantic,
821
00:39:24,056 --> 00:39:25,557
I'm not gonna be able
to take it.
822
00:39:25,758 --> 00:39:27,159
Turn up the radio.
823
00:39:27,860 --> 00:39:31,998
Hey, switch places with me
so I can be closer to the exit?
824
00:39:32,765 --> 00:39:34,233
We could...
825
00:39:34,834 --> 00:39:37,103
but then you'd have
a lot more scents.
826
00:39:37,303 --> 00:39:38,104
Hmmm...
827
00:39:38,304 --> 00:39:40,773
I hadn't thought of that.
828
00:40:11,871 --> 00:40:14,006
Hiiii...
829
00:40:14,273 --> 00:40:16,776
Oh, thank you.
830
00:40:18,778 --> 00:40:21,814
No, no, don't worry, I'm okay.
831
00:40:22,014 --> 00:40:23,883
It's the last time
I trust the neighbor.
832
00:40:24,083 --> 00:40:27,186
There we were. He wants me
to take a ride in his truck.
833
00:40:27,386 --> 00:40:29,922
No, I don't think he's gay.
834
00:40:30,256 --> 00:40:33,225
He said he was married,
but his wife died.
835
00:40:33,625 --> 00:40:35,928
At least that's what he said.
836
00:40:36,128 --> 00:40:38,596
We were having this
perfectly nice dinner...
837
00:40:38,798 --> 00:40:39,632
Umpff.
838
00:40:39,665 --> 00:40:41,566
I don't think
he should throw it.
839
00:40:42,134 --> 00:40:42,835
Why?
840
00:40:43,035 --> 00:40:43,836
He's angry.
841
00:40:44,136 --> 00:40:46,672
Because if he throws it,
we'll have to see her,
842
00:40:46,872 --> 00:40:49,574
and I think it's important
that we don't see her.
843
00:40:49,775 --> 00:40:50,810
Why?
844
00:40:51,877 --> 00:40:54,013
Because she's not funny.
845
00:40:54,947 --> 00:40:56,348
We could make her funny.
846
00:40:56,549 --> 00:40:58,217
No, I've met her. We can't.
847
00:40:58,451 --> 00:41:00,653
It could be a great scene.
848
00:41:00,853 --> 00:41:02,221
Great scenes
aren't always funny.
849
00:41:02,421 --> 00:41:04,256
I hope this one is.
850
00:41:04,457 --> 00:41:05,758
Do you think it's too abrupt?
851
00:41:05,958 --> 00:41:08,027
No! Audiences want
something different.
852
00:41:08,828 --> 00:41:11,596
Like us? Even though
we're never seen again?
853
00:41:11,797 --> 00:41:15,267
Who wants to see us? We're only
the writer and director.
854
00:41:15,501 --> 00:41:16,769
Do you think he's submissive?
855
00:41:16,969 --> 00:41:17,736
Who?
856
00:41:17,770 --> 00:41:19,038
The Kid in the picture.
857
00:41:19,238 --> 00:41:21,807
I don't think so.
He's more sick.
858
00:41:22,041 --> 00:41:22,741
That's important.
859
00:41:23,175 --> 00:41:25,377
Otherwise, nobody would believe
that he's married.
860
00:41:25,711 --> 00:41:26,312
I'd believe it.
861
00:41:26,745 --> 00:41:28,681
Of course you'd believe it.
You wrote it.
862
00:41:28,881 --> 00:41:30,116
Even if I didn't write it,
I'd believe it.
863
00:41:30,316 --> 00:41:32,284
They've known each other
since high school.
864
00:41:32,485 --> 00:41:34,353
- Did you write that?
- No, that's why I believe it.
865
00:41:34,553 --> 00:41:37,089
When you know somebody
that long
866
00:41:37,289 --> 00:41:39,024
you really know them.
867
00:41:39,225 --> 00:41:40,759
Why does he stay with her?
868
00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:42,628
Because she's nonthreatening.
869
00:41:42,828 --> 00:41:44,230
Why does she stay with him?
870
00:41:44,430 --> 00:41:46,699
Because she doesn't know
any better way to be treated.
871
00:41:46,899 --> 00:41:48,234
The Narrator
would treat her better.
872
00:41:48,434 --> 00:41:52,371
The Kid knows that which is
why he knows he can't lose her.
873
00:41:52,805 --> 00:41:54,940
Why? He already lost her once.
874
00:41:55,141 --> 00:41:56,876
But she'll never
come back twice.
875
00:41:57,109 --> 00:42:00,312
My wife came back twice and
I was trying to lose her once.
876
00:42:00,813 --> 00:42:03,716
The Narrator's wife
is not coming back.
877
00:42:04,116 --> 00:42:07,253
Don't you think you should
mention how she died?
878
00:42:07,720 --> 00:42:10,322
Death isn't funny
and it bogs me down.
879
00:42:10,523 --> 00:42:12,858
DON'T BOG ME DOWN!
880
00:42:13,292 --> 00:42:16,128
Alright,
but it would be helpful.
881
00:42:17,863 --> 00:42:19,131
Brain aneurism.
882
00:42:23,035 --> 00:42:25,404
The doorman found her and
she was gone in 24 hours.
883
00:42:25,604 --> 00:42:26,739
Is that helpful?
884
00:42:27,206 --> 00:42:28,440
Considerably.
885
00:42:31,310 --> 00:42:34,680
I want to give The Narrator
another love interest.
886
00:42:35,047 --> 00:42:36,782
Like who?
887
00:42:37,216 --> 00:42:39,084
One of the women
on the newspaper staff?
888
00:42:39,285 --> 00:42:40,786
Which one?
889
00:42:40,986 --> 00:42:42,454
The youngest one.
890
00:42:46,091 --> 00:42:49,762
Do you think if I wore an ascot,
I'd be a better writer?
891
00:42:51,263 --> 00:42:52,431
Yes.
892
00:42:57,770 --> 00:42:58,904
Aaah.
893
00:42:59,538 --> 00:43:01,006
Thank you.
894
00:43:02,341 --> 00:43:05,211
My cleaning lady usually
does that for me.
895
00:43:05,411 --> 00:43:08,113
The last time I saw her, I
threatened to have me deported.
896
00:43:08,314 --> 00:43:09,982
Aren't you okay?
897
00:43:11,984 --> 00:43:13,953
- Where did you get that?
- What?
898
00:43:14,153 --> 00:43:15,120
That.
899
00:43:15,321 --> 00:43:16,855
This? Downstairs.
900
00:43:18,224 --> 00:43:19,725
What is wrong with you?
901
00:43:19,925 --> 00:43:21,093
I'm sorry, I'm just...
902
00:43:21,293 --> 00:43:22,494
I'm under a lot of pressure.
903
00:43:22,696 --> 00:43:25,764
So is this can,
but it's not gonna explode.
904
00:43:26,432 --> 00:43:28,801
Can we just stop talking
about the can.
905
00:43:29,001 --> 00:43:31,070
I think you should
really get married again.
906
00:43:31,270 --> 00:43:32,805
Ohhhh...!
907
00:43:33,839 --> 00:43:37,943
Wouldn't it be easier just
to get another cleaning lady?
908
00:43:39,011 --> 00:43:40,379
I'm not talking about right now.
909
00:43:40,579 --> 00:43:41,280
Good.
910
00:43:41,313 --> 00:43:43,349
I'm talking about the future.
911
00:43:43,549 --> 00:43:44,483
Because right now,
912
00:43:44,850 --> 00:43:49,788
I'm burying myself in my work in
order to avoid my personal life.
913
00:43:51,156 --> 00:43:52,791
What kind of work?
914
00:43:53,693 --> 00:43:58,197
Well, it's a new screenplay
based on a neighbor.
915
00:43:58,864 --> 00:44:02,201
Is it about a woman who's been
married three times?
916
00:44:02,401 --> 00:44:05,271
Because if it is, all I ask
is that you spell my name right.
917
00:44:05,471 --> 00:44:07,873
I would if it was, but it isn't.
918
00:44:08,207 --> 00:44:10,075
Then who is it about?
919
00:44:13,112 --> 00:44:15,114
I'd really rather not say.
920
00:44:15,381 --> 00:44:17,216
Then what's it about?
921
00:44:17,483 --> 00:44:20,119
I'd really rather not
say that, either.
922
00:44:20,720 --> 00:44:23,989
You are so similar
to my middle husband.
923
00:44:24,189 --> 00:44:26,458
- Was he a writer?
- He was a liar.
924
00:44:26,859 --> 00:44:28,227
A good writer can be both.
925
00:44:28,427 --> 00:44:30,029
A good husband can't be.
926
00:44:30,229 --> 00:44:31,964
What did he lie about?
927
00:44:32,164 --> 00:44:33,999
I'd rather not say.
928
00:44:34,233 --> 00:44:35,901
Unless I say so first, right?
929
00:44:36,135 --> 00:44:38,304
He was
a good negotiator as well.
930
00:44:38,504 --> 00:44:42,841
Alight, it's about the new guy
at the newspaper.
931
00:44:43,542 --> 00:44:45,911
Who? The Kid?
932
00:44:46,512 --> 00:44:48,113
How many other guys do we have?
933
00:44:48,314 --> 00:44:49,882
Sadly, not enough.
934
00:44:50,082 --> 00:44:50,983
What?
935
00:44:51,183 --> 00:44:52,451
I'm not enough?
936
00:44:52,686 --> 00:44:53,419
You are.
937
00:44:53,720 --> 00:44:56,555
But I like you too much
to have sex with you,
938
00:44:56,756 --> 00:44:58,824
although we have great banter.
939
00:44:59,024 --> 00:45:00,225
And you were married 3 times?
940
00:45:00,426 --> 00:45:02,027
And I didn't like any of them,
941
00:45:02,227 --> 00:45:03,996
which is why I thought
it would work out.
942
00:45:04,196 --> 00:45:05,297
You were surprised
when it didn't?
943
00:45:05,497 --> 00:45:06,498
Yes.
944
00:45:06,800 --> 00:45:09,201
I guess I just didn't
dislike them enough,
945
00:45:09,401 --> 00:45:12,338
which is strange because
I hated the third one.
946
00:45:12,538 --> 00:45:15,607
I think you could really grow
to dislike this Kid.
947
00:45:15,809 --> 00:45:17,443
I certainly did.
948
00:45:18,377 --> 00:45:21,447
- Then maybe it would work out.
- He's married also.
949
00:45:21,648 --> 00:45:23,515
Ah, then forget it.
950
00:45:23,717 --> 00:45:25,951
I wouldn't do to her
what someone did to me.
951
00:45:26,185 --> 00:45:27,119
Ohh...
952
00:45:27,453 --> 00:45:30,255
- Your husband cheated?
- One of them.
953
00:45:30,589 --> 00:45:32,858
But not with a woman.
954
00:45:37,262 --> 00:45:38,897
Which one?
955
00:45:39,098 --> 00:45:40,999
Which husband or which man?
956
00:45:41,200 --> 00:45:42,234
Either.
957
00:45:42,635 --> 00:45:44,470
There was the first one
with someone from
958
00:45:44,671 --> 00:45:46,338
the Second Avenue Deli.
959
00:45:46,538 --> 00:45:48,440
I don't think The Kid
works at a deli.
960
00:45:48,641 --> 00:45:50,109
He always seems to be around.
961
00:45:50,309 --> 00:45:51,410
What does he do?
962
00:45:51,610 --> 00:45:52,645
I don't know,
963
00:45:52,846 --> 00:45:54,613
but he has money.
964
00:45:54,814 --> 00:45:57,516
- Where's his family from?
- Sicily.
965
00:45:57,817 --> 00:45:59,451
Do you think he's in the mob?
966
00:45:59,652 --> 00:46:01,487
They'd have him serving
espressos in the back room
967
00:46:01,688 --> 00:46:03,122
if he was.
968
00:46:04,623 --> 00:46:06,558
What is his wife like?
969
00:46:10,028 --> 00:46:11,363
Attractive.
970
00:46:13,065 --> 00:46:14,566
- Really?
- Uh-huh.
971
00:46:14,900 --> 00:46:16,435
When did you see her?
972
00:46:16,636 --> 00:46:18,337
I saw her at the...
973
00:46:19,405 --> 00:46:20,038
hospital.
974
00:46:20,506 --> 00:46:22,908
I got a look at her
through the privacy curtain.
975
00:46:23,108 --> 00:46:26,111
Did he ever apologize
for that car accident?
976
00:46:26,311 --> 00:46:29,649
God, he never apologized
for the attic accident.
977
00:46:30,115 --> 00:46:31,917
Which reminds me,
how's your dog?
978
00:46:32,117 --> 00:46:33,118
Hmmm...
979
00:46:33,585 --> 00:46:35,387
He's still recuperating.
980
00:46:35,587 --> 00:46:39,191
He just stares at the ceiling
and shakes his head.
981
00:46:41,661 --> 00:46:44,029
Poor thing.
He'll get over it.
982
00:46:53,005 --> 00:46:54,273
I'm still not over it.
983
00:46:54,473 --> 00:46:57,176
- Then get over it!
- Uhhh...
984
00:46:58,243 --> 00:46:59,411
Are you okay?
985
00:46:59,611 --> 00:47:02,214
Yeah, I think the neck brace
is a little tight.
986
00:47:02,414 --> 00:47:04,082
You need to see that Kid again.
987
00:47:04,283 --> 00:47:06,151
Oh no, I just spent a week
with him at the hospital
988
00:47:06,351 --> 00:47:07,586
I can't take anymore.
989
00:47:07,787 --> 00:47:10,389
But you're a writer and
he's your subject.
990
00:47:10,622 --> 00:47:12,558
If you're going to go up
to the bell, then ring it.
991
00:47:12,759 --> 00:47:14,526
I've rung the bell.
It's hollow!
992
00:47:14,727 --> 00:47:16,195
HOLLOW!
993
00:47:16,395 --> 00:47:17,697
Then keep ringing it.
994
00:47:17,897 --> 00:47:18,964
Why?
995
00:47:19,164 --> 00:47:20,432
There's no one home.
996
00:47:22,100 --> 00:47:24,603
Maybe if you keep ringing it
then maybe someday
997
00:47:24,804 --> 00:47:27,105
someone will come to the door.
998
00:47:31,043 --> 00:47:33,011
I hope it's his wife.
999
00:48:16,789 --> 00:48:18,357
Paula...
1000
00:48:18,624 --> 00:48:22,060
You remember our first days.
You remember Italy.
1001
00:48:22,261 --> 00:48:23,328
There've been times when
1002
00:48:23,529 --> 00:48:25,632
I thought
I only dreamed those days.
1003
00:48:25,832 --> 00:48:27,599
Come closer, Paula.
1004
00:48:29,802 --> 00:48:31,236
Closer.
1005
00:48:36,341 --> 00:48:38,076
Look into my eyes.
1006
00:48:38,443 --> 00:48:42,180
If I ever meant anything to you
and I believe I did...
1007
00:48:42,481 --> 00:48:44,449
Then help me Paula.
1008
00:48:57,697 --> 00:49:00,065
Don't tell me you're dealing
with another palimony suit?
1009
00:49:00,265 --> 00:49:03,268
Yes, but worse. This time,
I'm the defendant.
1010
00:49:03,468 --> 00:49:04,136
Again?
1011
00:49:04,469 --> 00:49:06,739
- You should just get a cat.
- I hate cats.
1012
00:49:06,940 --> 00:49:09,074
They close their eyes
when they eat, it's just...
1013
00:49:09,274 --> 00:49:10,009
So?
1014
00:49:10,275 --> 00:49:12,144
So I want them to know
who's feeding them
1015
00:49:12,344 --> 00:49:14,146
and who's paying for everything.
1016
00:49:14,346 --> 00:49:16,783
You wouldn't get sued so much
if you weren't such a tough guy.
1017
00:49:16,983 --> 00:49:20,319
I'm not a tough guy.
I just know how to hurt people
1018
00:49:21,420 --> 00:49:22,055
So what are you having?
1019
00:49:22,321 --> 00:49:23,056
Litigation
if you're not careful.
1020
00:49:23,455 --> 00:49:25,725
As your lawyer, I'm telling you
to drop the case.
1021
00:49:25,925 --> 00:49:27,426
It's not a case. He's a kid.
1022
00:49:27,626 --> 00:49:29,394
He's a basket-case kid.
Just drop him.
1023
00:49:29,595 --> 00:49:30,863
Not that simple.
1024
00:49:31,631 --> 00:49:34,232
He endangered your life,
put you in the hospital.
1025
00:49:34,433 --> 00:49:35,334
It's very simple.
1026
00:49:35,534 --> 00:49:37,804
- I can't do it to him.
- He'd do it to you.
1027
00:49:38,004 --> 00:49:40,238
No, he wouldn't
unless I do it to him first.
1028
00:49:40,439 --> 00:49:42,140
A counter suit.
Even better.
1029
00:49:42,341 --> 00:49:43,676
Better for you not for me.
1030
00:49:44,077 --> 00:49:45,577
What are you talking about?
1031
00:49:45,778 --> 00:49:47,880
I see liability everywhere.
Just look at this menu.
1032
00:49:48,081 --> 00:49:49,882
I don't see specials.
1033
00:49:50,083 --> 00:49:51,684
I see misspellings.
1034
00:49:51,951 --> 00:49:54,353
"Spicy Tina."
What is that? C'mon!
1035
00:49:54,553 --> 00:49:57,724
- They mean tuna roll.
- That's raw, somebody...
1036
00:49:57,924 --> 00:50:00,860
- Turn it off for a second!
- No, I can't, no, I can't.
1037
00:50:01,060 --> 00:50:03,796
I suspect everyone,
especially if they're frameable.
1038
00:50:03,997 --> 00:50:06,131
It doesn't even matter if
they're guilty, not guilty...
1039
00:50:06,331 --> 00:50:08,400
- You suspect The Kid?
- I suspect The Kid...
1040
00:50:08,600 --> 00:50:11,336
his wife and
definitely the ducks.
1041
00:50:11,536 --> 00:50:13,873
If he was my client,
I'd plea bargain.
1042
00:50:14,073 --> 00:50:15,675
Not everything
is a negotiation.
1043
00:50:15,875 --> 00:50:16,541
Oh, yeah?
1044
00:50:16,743 --> 00:50:17,677
Hey, excuse me.
1045
00:50:18,210 --> 00:50:21,346
Yeah, I get $350 an hour,
we're already $150 into it.
1046
00:50:21,546 --> 00:50:23,315
Where's my edamame?
1047
00:50:24,917 --> 00:50:26,151
Oh!
1048
00:50:27,720 --> 00:50:29,656
I'm a Republican too.
1049
00:50:31,658 --> 00:50:33,492
- You see?
- Yeah, I see.
1050
00:50:33,693 --> 00:50:34,694
You're charging me by the hour.
1051
00:50:34,894 --> 00:50:35,895
If you didn't get sued so much,
1052
00:50:36,095 --> 00:50:37,429
you wouldn't have
to charge so much.
1053
00:50:37,630 --> 00:50:38,363
I'll pick up the lunch.
1054
00:50:38,597 --> 00:50:39,899
Which means
I'm picking up the lunch.
1055
00:50:40,099 --> 00:50:41,433
Since there's not going to be
any suit,
1056
00:50:41,634 --> 00:50:42,702
there's not going to be
any settlement.
1057
00:50:42,902 --> 00:50:44,603
What would I settle for?
1058
00:50:45,872 --> 00:50:47,305
His wife.
1059
00:50:50,609 --> 00:50:51,778
I'll think about it.
1060
00:50:51,978 --> 00:50:52,745
Don't think too long.
1061
00:50:52,945 --> 00:50:53,545
I'm not gonna have to.
1062
00:50:54,013 --> 00:50:55,648
I'm seeing The Kid
tomorrow night for dinner.
1063
00:50:55,848 --> 00:50:58,583
- Will she be there?
- I'll settle for that.
1064
00:50:59,085 --> 00:51:01,754
Do you have shrimp cocktail
with the sauce, no rice?
1065
00:51:01,954 --> 00:51:03,422
Red sauce, no rice.
1066
00:51:03,622 --> 00:51:05,290
Spicy, spicy...
1067
00:51:07,359 --> 00:51:10,730
Now the fact is
I couldn't settle for that.
1068
00:51:15,835 --> 00:51:17,904
I had gotten to the point
in my script where
1069
00:51:18,104 --> 00:51:19,772
I started to wonder.
1070
00:51:22,041 --> 00:51:24,811
Was it The Kid's motives
I was questioning?
1071
00:51:27,814 --> 00:51:29,214
- Oh my God!
- Hi!
1072
00:51:29,414 --> 00:51:30,415
Or mine?
1073
00:51:30,615 --> 00:51:32,551
- You're not her.
- Miss me?
1074
00:51:47,900 --> 00:51:49,936
What do you think?
1075
00:51:53,072 --> 00:51:53,940
My grandmother used to say,
1076
00:51:54,207 --> 00:51:57,844
"The cleaner the house,
the more they're hiding."
1077
00:52:02,314 --> 00:52:03,482
Oh...
1078
00:52:04,483 --> 00:52:06,351
I'm so sorry.
1079
00:52:08,755 --> 00:52:10,890
What is this? Popcorn?
1080
00:52:12,324 --> 00:52:14,626
I don't know
what you think I'm hiding.
1081
00:52:15,194 --> 00:52:16,763
Other than your wife?
1082
00:52:16,963 --> 00:52:18,563
She's at the lake house.
I told you.
1083
00:52:18,765 --> 00:52:20,365
No, you didn't. I didn't even
know you had a lake house.
1084
00:52:20,565 --> 00:52:21,067
I don't.
1085
00:52:21,533 --> 00:52:23,401
But if I did,
that's where she'd be.
1086
00:52:23,602 --> 00:52:26,438
As it is,
she's at her photography class.
1087
00:52:28,340 --> 00:52:30,009
- This you?
- Yes.
1088
00:52:30,375 --> 00:52:32,879
- Is that her?
- Who else would it be?
1089
00:52:33,079 --> 00:52:34,579
What do you think?
1090
00:52:34,781 --> 00:52:36,414
I don't know...
1091
00:52:36,615 --> 00:52:39,484
Looks like you're running away
from something.
1092
00:52:41,620 --> 00:52:43,421
Is this hers too?
1093
00:52:43,656 --> 00:52:45,624
- She's good.
- They are good, aren't they?
1094
00:52:45,825 --> 00:52:46,793
Real good.
1095
00:52:48,027 --> 00:52:50,362
Ooh, look at that composition.
1096
00:52:55,500 --> 00:52:57,335
They're not hers.
1097
00:53:02,541 --> 00:53:03,608
What is hers?
1098
00:53:03,843 --> 00:53:06,979
The baked ziti.
Would you like some salad?
1099
00:53:07,312 --> 00:53:10,549
- She can cook, too?
- She can do a lot of things.
1100
00:53:12,652 --> 00:53:13,920
What can you do?
1101
00:53:14,120 --> 00:53:15,353
You asked me that before.
1102
00:53:15,554 --> 00:53:16,856
I'm asking again.
1103
00:53:19,058 --> 00:53:21,027
I'm a mechanical engineer.
1104
00:53:21,227 --> 00:53:21,994
Oh, yeah?
1105
00:53:22,195 --> 00:53:23,696
Can you fix
a clogged drain?
1106
00:53:23,930 --> 00:53:24,931
Ah, yeah.
1107
00:53:26,065 --> 00:53:27,332
Then you're a plumber.
1108
00:53:27,532 --> 00:53:28,600
You're very quick.
1109
00:53:29,001 --> 00:53:30,002
Not really.
1110
00:53:31,871 --> 00:53:33,605
Mmm... Pass the salad.
1111
00:53:37,009 --> 00:53:38,543
You're not good
when I give you compliments.
1112
00:53:38,744 --> 00:53:39,344
Have you ever given me one?
1113
00:53:39,779 --> 00:53:41,379
See what I mean?
I just said you were very quick
1114
00:53:41,580 --> 00:53:42,815
and you replied with a quip.
1115
00:53:43,015 --> 00:53:44,616
What do you want me to say?
1116
00:53:44,817 --> 00:53:46,484
I want you to say,
1117
00:53:46,953 --> 00:53:48,054
"Thank you."
1118
00:53:48,353 --> 00:53:50,022
Don't tell me what to say.
1119
00:53:50,223 --> 00:53:51,590
If you don't say what I want
then I'm going to stop
1120
00:53:51,791 --> 00:53:52,992
giving you compliments.
1121
00:53:53,192 --> 00:53:54,961
I don't want you
to give me compliments.
1122
00:53:55,161 --> 00:53:56,662
I'd rather you criticize
my criticisms.
1123
00:53:56,929 --> 00:53:57,763
That's not as powerful.
1124
00:53:57,964 --> 00:54:00,365
Oh? Is that what this is about?
1125
00:54:00,565 --> 00:54:01,167
Power?
1126
00:54:01,600 --> 00:54:03,069
Are these the mind games
you play on your wife?
1127
00:54:03,269 --> 00:54:04,569
None of your business.
1128
00:54:04,770 --> 00:54:06,038
I think it is my business.
1129
00:54:06,239 --> 00:54:08,908
I think at a party when a
husband only introduces himself
1130
00:54:09,108 --> 00:54:10,643
and the woman he's with
has to say,
1131
00:54:10,843 --> 00:54:13,545
"And I'm his wife,"
that's my business.
1132
00:54:13,746 --> 00:54:15,114
I think when a husband
gets so drunk
1133
00:54:15,314 --> 00:54:16,782
that he jumps in
his neighbor's car
1134
00:54:16,983 --> 00:54:18,117
and asks that neighbor
to drive him home,
1135
00:54:18,317 --> 00:54:19,852
leaving his wife
standing on the street...
1136
00:54:20,052 --> 00:54:21,553
That's my business.
1137
00:54:22,554 --> 00:54:25,691
- Who are you talking about?
- I'm talking about you, Kid.
1138
00:54:26,125 --> 00:54:28,794
The first time I saw you wasn't
at that newspaper meeting.
1139
00:54:28,995 --> 00:54:31,063
It was at a party
back in December.
1140
00:54:31,731 --> 00:54:34,166
- I don't remember meeting you.
- You didn't.
1141
00:54:34,367 --> 00:54:36,769
But I met your wife.
I spoke to her.
1142
00:54:36,969 --> 00:54:37,770
When?
1143
00:54:38,971 --> 00:54:39,972
Right after you got so drunk,
1144
00:54:40,172 --> 00:54:41,406
she had to tell you
to calm down.
1145
00:54:41,606 --> 00:54:42,975
What did you say?
1146
00:54:43,175 --> 00:54:44,911
I told her she could do better.
1147
00:54:45,111 --> 00:54:46,544
- What did she say?
- Nothing.
1148
00:54:46,746 --> 00:54:48,848
She just looked at me with
this vacant stare.
1149
00:54:49,048 --> 00:54:49,682
That's because she's shy.
1150
00:54:49,882 --> 00:54:51,817
No, that's because she's vacant.
1151
00:54:52,018 --> 00:54:55,121
- What's the difference?
- Being married to you.
1152
00:54:55,688 --> 00:54:57,189
I vaguely remember that party.
1153
00:54:57,390 --> 00:54:58,423
I clearly remember it.
1154
00:54:58,623 --> 00:54:59,457
Why?
1155
00:54:59,759 --> 00:55:03,062
Because you were wearing
those same stupid red pants.
1156
00:55:05,597 --> 00:55:06,866
What's wrong
with these pants anyway?
1157
00:55:07,066 --> 00:55:07,833
Nothing...
1158
00:55:08,034 --> 00:55:08,701
If you were 20 years old and
1159
00:55:09,201 --> 00:55:11,203
mimicking your personality
from Abercrombie & Fitch.
1160
00:55:11,404 --> 00:55:14,173
- I'm not mimicking anybody.
- Then say something original.
1161
00:55:15,775 --> 00:55:16,776
You say it first.
1162
00:55:17,009 --> 00:55:18,576
It'd be much more interesting
if you did.
1163
00:55:19,078 --> 00:55:20,578
Are you saying
I'm not interesting?
1164
00:55:20,780 --> 00:55:21,981
No...
1165
00:55:22,181 --> 00:55:24,951
I'm saying the most interesting
thing about you...
1166
00:55:25,151 --> 00:55:26,085
is me.
1167
00:55:28,821 --> 00:55:30,022
What was that?
1168
00:55:30,222 --> 00:55:31,691
I had an itch.
1169
00:55:32,590 --> 00:55:33,826
An itch?
1170
00:55:34,760 --> 00:55:36,228
I mean, look at this house.
1171
00:55:36,696 --> 00:55:40,598
What could anyone possibly know
about the people that live here?
1172
00:55:40,800 --> 00:55:42,567
That they're neat and clean?
1173
00:55:42,902 --> 00:55:43,836
Is that a bad thing?
1174
00:55:44,036 --> 00:55:44,770
Not really.
1175
00:55:45,137 --> 00:55:47,907
But when I walk into a room,
I act like I own it.
1176
00:55:48,107 --> 00:55:50,542
When you walk into a room,
you act like you're renting it.
1177
00:55:50,743 --> 00:55:51,177
Where's the clutter?
1178
00:55:51,476 --> 00:55:53,179
- The what?
- The clutter.
1179
00:55:53,511 --> 00:55:56,649
The stuff that makes up
a relationship, a real life.
1180
00:55:58,150 --> 00:55:59,251
I have clutter.
1181
00:56:00,086 --> 00:56:01,053
Where is it?
1182
00:56:01,654 --> 00:56:03,022
Upstairs.
1183
00:57:03,749 --> 00:57:04,850
That's it?
1184
00:57:05,251 --> 00:57:06,252
Isn't that clutter?
1185
00:57:06,452 --> 00:57:08,921
That's organized clutter.
1186
00:57:09,121 --> 00:57:11,023
Yeah, it took me hours
to get it to look that way.
1187
00:57:11,223 --> 00:57:12,291
It should have taken you years.
1188
00:57:12,491 --> 00:57:13,659
I don't have that kind of time.
1189
00:57:13,859 --> 00:57:15,627
- Then make it.
- How?
1190
00:57:15,828 --> 00:57:17,630
By getting a bigger cabinet,
1191
00:57:17,830 --> 00:57:20,099
in another house,
in a different town.
1192
00:57:20,299 --> 00:57:21,667
Well, I'm not moving.
1193
00:57:21,867 --> 00:57:23,302
I think you should consider it.
1194
00:57:23,502 --> 00:57:25,905
I think you're
out of your element.
1195
00:57:26,172 --> 00:57:26,872
I like my element.
1196
00:57:27,373 --> 00:57:30,209
Do you even know what
your element is because I don't.
1197
00:57:30,409 --> 00:57:32,311
You have no emotion,
no inflections, no opinions.
1198
00:57:32,511 --> 00:57:34,146
In short, you have no empathy.
1199
00:57:34,346 --> 00:57:36,182
- I don't understand.
- Exactly.
1200
00:57:36,482 --> 00:57:38,684
When was the last time
you cried?
1201
00:57:38,918 --> 00:57:40,319
In about ten minutes.
1202
00:57:40,618 --> 00:57:43,355
There's like a chunk of you
that's missing.
1203
00:57:43,588 --> 00:57:44,957
Maybe it's in the clutter.
1204
00:57:45,157 --> 00:57:47,193
- I bet you don't even vote.
- I don't, do you?
1205
00:57:47,393 --> 00:57:48,961
- I'm not telling you.
- I'm not telling you either.
1206
00:57:49,161 --> 00:57:50,329
- You just did.
- You tricked me.
1207
00:57:50,529 --> 00:57:52,164
You tricked yourself.
1208
00:57:52,531 --> 00:57:53,666
Does your wife vote?
1209
00:57:53,866 --> 00:57:55,334
She hasn't voted
since high school.
1210
00:57:55,534 --> 00:57:58,971
This is not high school.
This is life school,
1211
00:57:59,171 --> 00:58:00,605
and you have to participate.
1212
00:58:00,806 --> 00:58:01,974
What if I don't want
to participate?
1213
00:58:02,174 --> 00:58:03,608
Then you get marked as absent
1214
00:58:03,809 --> 00:58:06,946
and you don't get any presents
at Christmas time.
1215
00:58:08,114 --> 00:58:10,649
- I like presents.
- Oh?
1216
00:58:23,929 --> 00:58:24,897
What's that?
1217
00:58:25,097 --> 00:58:26,765
That is a house-warming present.
1218
00:58:26,966 --> 00:58:29,168
There's more where that
came from if you join us.
1219
00:58:29,368 --> 00:58:30,669
Where do I join up?
1220
00:58:31,103 --> 00:58:32,304
Any place there's an opinion.
1221
00:58:32,505 --> 00:58:34,006
The kitchen table
is a good place to start.
1222
00:58:34,206 --> 00:58:35,975
I don't have a kitchen table.
1223
00:58:36,175 --> 00:58:37,209
That's probably why
you don't vote.
1224
00:58:37,409 --> 00:58:38,377
I have a dining room table.
1225
00:58:38,577 --> 00:58:39,278
Not the same.
1226
00:58:39,311 --> 00:58:40,379
But I can make
a kitchen table.
1227
00:58:40,579 --> 00:58:41,013
Building is good.
1228
00:58:41,413 --> 00:58:43,048
I built everything
in this house.
1229
00:58:43,249 --> 00:58:44,049
Rebuilding is better.
1230
00:58:44,450 --> 00:58:46,986
- What's wrong with this house?
- It's monotonous.
1231
00:58:47,186 --> 00:58:49,121
It's why you speak
in a monotone.
1232
00:58:49,321 --> 00:58:49,822
Oh yeah?
1233
00:58:50,089 --> 00:58:52,825
At least my house isn't messy.
1234
00:59:02,001 --> 00:59:04,837
How do you know
that my house is messy?
1235
00:59:06,071 --> 00:59:08,707
Were you in there
when I wasn't home?
1236
00:59:14,146 --> 00:59:16,115
- Were you?
- You left the back door open.
1237
00:59:16,382 --> 00:59:18,284
The back door is for the dog,
not for you.
1238
00:59:18,484 --> 00:59:19,151
How is the dog?
1239
00:59:19,418 --> 00:59:21,187
He's fine.
Don't change the subject.
1240
00:59:21,387 --> 00:59:22,188
Well...
1241
00:59:23,422 --> 00:59:25,457
- Your desk is nice.
- Thank you.
1242
00:59:27,860 --> 00:59:30,296
Did you see anything interesting
on my nice desk?
1243
00:59:30,496 --> 00:59:33,265
- Your desk light is nice too.
- I know.
1244
00:59:33,699 --> 00:59:36,001
Did you read anything
interesting on my nice desk
1245
00:59:36,202 --> 00:59:37,703
with my nice desk light?
1246
00:59:38,003 --> 00:59:40,239
Not really. Just a script.
1247
00:59:40,606 --> 00:59:42,141
But your handwriting
is very hard to read.
1248
00:59:42,341 --> 00:59:43,876
I'm sorry, I'll work on that.
1249
00:59:44,076 --> 00:59:46,078
And what did you think
of my script?
1250
00:59:46,278 --> 00:59:48,814
I think if you thought that
was an expensive bottle of wine
1251
00:59:49,014 --> 00:59:50,216
that I ordered
at the restaurant,
1252
00:59:50,416 --> 00:59:52,051
then you'd be wrong.
1253
00:59:53,552 --> 00:59:55,487
And that's all
you have to say?
1254
00:59:55,955 --> 00:59:59,959
Other than that? I thought it
was a very well-written scene.
1255
01:00:06,165 --> 01:00:08,000
Am I missing something?
1256
01:00:10,102 --> 01:00:11,971
Everything!
1257
01:00:12,338 --> 01:00:14,306
You know I'm making you
much more interesting
1258
01:00:14,506 --> 01:00:16,275
than you actually are.
1259
01:00:19,311 --> 01:00:22,414
You really should clean up
that house of yours.
1260
01:00:22,615 --> 01:00:24,350
- Oh, no...
- I could do it.
1261
01:00:24,617 --> 01:00:27,219
- No, no, no...
- It wouldn't take any time.
1262
01:00:27,419 --> 01:00:28,187
It's messy.
1263
01:00:28,587 --> 01:00:32,091
It's messy because there's
a real, actual life
1264
01:00:32,291 --> 01:00:34,193
going on in there!
1265
01:00:34,661 --> 01:00:36,395
Plus I have a dog.
1266
01:00:36,595 --> 01:00:37,763
I had ducks.
1267
01:00:37,963 --> 01:00:39,431
You had...?
1268
01:00:39,633 --> 01:00:40,866
I ate them.
1269
01:00:41,533 --> 01:00:42,868
You seem upset.
1270
01:00:44,336 --> 01:00:46,105
I am upset.
1271
01:00:52,945 --> 01:00:54,980
I had the wrong shelf.
1272
01:00:55,247 --> 01:00:56,782
What?
1273
01:00:57,883 --> 01:00:59,151
Nothing.
1274
01:01:00,586 --> 01:01:02,955
How can you live like this?
1275
01:01:03,355 --> 01:01:05,424
Knock those pencils over.
1276
01:01:06,959 --> 01:01:08,294
- I can't.
- Try.
1277
01:01:08,460 --> 01:01:09,094
I cannot.
1278
01:01:09,428 --> 01:01:11,063
I order you to knock
those pencils over!
1279
01:01:11,263 --> 01:01:12,064
You knock them over for me.
1280
01:01:12,331 --> 01:01:14,900
No, you're going to do
something first, first!
1281
01:01:15,100 --> 01:01:16,535
I'll pay you to do it.
1282
01:01:19,405 --> 01:01:21,073
How much do I owe you?
1283
01:01:21,407 --> 01:01:22,841
I insist.
1284
01:01:33,986 --> 01:01:35,421
Now, we're even!
1285
01:01:39,425 --> 01:01:40,859
Your wife paints?
1286
01:01:41,060 --> 01:01:41,593
She did.
1287
01:01:43,663 --> 01:01:45,264
So did mine.
1288
01:01:45,597 --> 01:01:47,366
Was she any good?
1289
01:01:49,234 --> 01:01:50,936
The truth is she turned
to the brush
1290
01:01:51,136 --> 01:01:52,604
instead of the bottle.
1291
01:01:52,871 --> 01:01:55,174
She should have turned
to the bottle.
1292
01:01:55,374 --> 01:01:56,875
But instead all I said was,
1293
01:01:57,076 --> 01:01:58,010
Yes...
1294
01:01:58,210 --> 01:01:59,445
She was very good.
1295
01:01:59,646 --> 01:02:01,180
Mine was, too.
1296
01:02:02,181 --> 01:02:03,349
What a surprise.
1297
01:02:03,549 --> 01:02:04,183
I'm not mirroring you.
1298
01:02:04,550 --> 01:02:06,552
You can't be,
it's a one-way mirror.
1299
01:02:06,753 --> 01:02:08,587
I can see you,
you can't see me.
1300
01:02:08,788 --> 01:02:10,356
Oh yeah? Why is that?
1301
01:02:10,556 --> 01:02:12,324
Because when one side of
the mirror is brightly lit
1302
01:02:12,524 --> 01:02:14,059
and the other side is darkened,
1303
01:02:14,259 --> 01:02:16,462
you can only see
from the darkened side.
1304
01:02:16,663 --> 01:02:18,230
Why do I have to be the one
that's brightly lit?
1305
01:02:18,430 --> 01:02:20,366
Because you're the one
wearing the red pants.
1306
01:02:20,599 --> 01:02:22,601
And I'm the one all in black.
1307
01:02:22,802 --> 01:02:25,070
- You're an imp.
- Thank you.
1308
01:02:25,270 --> 01:02:27,005
I hate imps.
1309
01:02:27,439 --> 01:02:29,608
No one talks to them at parties,
1310
01:02:29,809 --> 01:02:32,611
and somehow they still find me.
How do they always find me?
1311
01:02:32,812 --> 01:02:34,480
It was you who found me.
1312
01:02:34,681 --> 01:02:36,915
You came up to me that day
after the newspaper meeting.
1313
01:02:37,116 --> 01:02:39,351
You came up to me,
I did not come up to you, imp.
1314
01:02:39,551 --> 01:02:40,653
Then why didn't you walk away?
1315
01:02:40,854 --> 01:02:42,588
I really don't know.
1316
01:02:44,590 --> 01:02:47,192
I think morbid curiosity.
1317
01:02:48,160 --> 01:02:52,598
You were so odd, so strange,
that I was intrigued.
1318
01:02:53,232 --> 01:02:54,299
Is that it?
1319
01:02:54,500 --> 01:02:55,635
No, that's just the beginning.
1320
01:02:55,835 --> 01:02:58,270
Then I found myself
being defensive.
1321
01:02:58,470 --> 01:03:00,072
Why are you so sensitive?
1322
01:03:00,272 --> 01:03:02,541
Because of you,
because you're so manipulative.
1323
01:03:02,742 --> 01:03:05,611
You want me to explain
why you think I'm sensitive.
1324
01:03:05,812 --> 01:03:06,679
And I won't.
1325
01:03:06,880 --> 01:03:08,947
- Are you done?
- I will be...
1326
01:03:10,082 --> 01:03:11,885
Once I get over my depression.
1327
01:03:12,117 --> 01:03:13,385
You're depressed?
1328
01:03:13,585 --> 01:03:14,920
Not as much as you.
1329
01:03:15,120 --> 01:03:17,423
I'm always happy.
Like a Bollywood movie.
1330
01:03:17,623 --> 01:03:18,957
That's what's depressing.
1331
01:03:19,158 --> 01:03:20,526
Bollywood movies
aren't depressing.
1332
01:03:20,727 --> 01:03:23,429
You base your emotional life
on Indian musicals.
1333
01:03:23,630 --> 01:03:25,397
- Yes.
- Why?
1334
01:03:25,597 --> 01:03:27,032
Because even after
the sad parts,
1335
01:03:27,232 --> 01:03:29,067
they still sing and dance.
1336
01:03:32,337 --> 01:03:35,507
Reality just isn't good enough
for you, is it?
1337
01:03:35,775 --> 01:03:37,976
Is this the sad part?
1338
01:03:38,177 --> 01:03:40,312
This is the sad part.
1339
01:03:40,713 --> 01:03:42,414
I thought so.
1340
01:03:45,284 --> 01:03:47,453
Do you think your wife is happy?
1341
01:03:48,788 --> 01:03:50,522
I've never thought about it.
1342
01:03:53,025 --> 01:03:54,393
Think about it.
1343
01:04:04,336 --> 01:04:05,270
Yes.
1344
01:04:08,407 --> 01:04:10,375
I think she's tired.
1345
01:04:10,910 --> 01:04:12,679
And I think
you're out of control.
1346
01:04:12,879 --> 01:04:14,613
And you're in control?
1347
01:04:16,315 --> 01:04:18,116
At least I don't have
to wrap my personality
1348
01:04:18,317 --> 01:04:20,152
around someone else's
in order to have one.
1349
01:04:20,352 --> 01:04:22,387
- Is that a compliment?
- That is an observation.
1350
01:04:22,588 --> 01:04:24,122
You have other observations?
I'd love to hear them.
1351
01:04:24,323 --> 01:04:25,491
- No, you wouldn't.
- Why?
1352
01:04:25,692 --> 01:04:27,526
Because you're loveless.
1353
01:04:28,293 --> 01:04:31,396
You have no passion for anyone
or anything.
1354
01:04:31,664 --> 01:04:34,299
And I don't know why.
I don't even think you know why.
1355
01:04:34,500 --> 01:04:36,368
Or maybe you do
and this is all just an act,
1356
01:04:36,568 --> 01:04:37,236
but I doubt it.
1357
01:04:37,704 --> 01:04:40,707
What I do know is that no one
can give it to you.
1358
01:04:40,907 --> 01:04:44,142
You have to go and get it
all on your own.
1359
01:04:51,550 --> 01:04:52,417
You're blocking the door?
1360
01:04:52,685 --> 01:04:55,521
No, I'm just leaning
against it rather harshly.
1361
01:04:55,822 --> 01:04:59,124
- Why do you say I'm loveless?
- Because I am!
1362
01:04:59,759 --> 01:05:02,194
And if someone as loveless
as you can find a girl
1363
01:05:02,394 --> 01:05:04,329
who loves him like that,
1364
01:05:04,831 --> 01:05:06,331
then that is the girl for me.
1365
01:05:06,532 --> 01:05:07,599
Is that why you're leaving?
Because of her?
1366
01:05:07,800 --> 01:05:09,301
No, I'm leaving because of you.
1367
01:05:09,501 --> 01:05:11,603
Because you're more loveless
than I am,
1368
01:05:11,804 --> 01:05:14,807
which means you'll need her
far more than I ever will.
1369
01:05:15,040 --> 01:05:16,308
But I thought we were friends?
1370
01:05:16,508 --> 01:05:17,644
We are not and never were.
1371
01:05:17,844 --> 01:05:19,779
- I thought after all this time.
- What time?
1372
01:05:19,979 --> 01:05:21,146
I've only known you
for 6 months.
1373
01:05:21,346 --> 01:05:22,281
But mushrooms grow fast.
1374
01:05:22,481 --> 01:05:24,383
I am not a mushroom!
1375
01:05:26,585 --> 01:05:29,154
People take longer to cultivate.
1376
01:05:29,756 --> 01:05:31,156
How much time do you need?
1377
01:05:31,356 --> 01:05:33,125
I don't know.
We're out of time.
1378
01:05:33,325 --> 01:05:34,293
But I'm still working at it.
1379
01:05:34,493 --> 01:05:35,193
You can't be
1380
01:05:35,762 --> 01:05:38,230
because I'd have to be working
on it first, and I'm not.
1381
01:05:38,430 --> 01:05:39,531
Then I want to work
on something else.
1382
01:05:39,732 --> 01:05:41,133
Like what?
1383
01:05:41,868 --> 01:05:43,268
My backhand.
1384
01:05:43,803 --> 01:05:45,504
You play tennis, don't you?
1385
01:05:45,772 --> 01:05:48,173
Yes, my wife taught me how.
Why're you changing the subject?
1386
01:05:48,373 --> 01:05:51,343
Because I'm losing the argument
and mine taught me, too!
1387
01:05:59,518 --> 01:06:02,789
Your wife has a lot of free time
between her painting,
1388
01:06:02,989 --> 01:06:05,123
photography, and the lake house
she doesn't have.
1389
01:06:05,324 --> 01:06:08,327
- Yeah, she works for me.
- Oh, she holds tools, too?
1390
01:06:08,527 --> 01:06:09,829
She's my accountant.
1391
01:06:10,029 --> 01:06:11,831
- You pay her to be your wife?
- I pay her to account.
1392
01:06:12,031 --> 01:06:13,265
- To who?
- To me.
1393
01:06:13,465 --> 01:06:15,267
I don't have to account to you.
1394
01:06:15,467 --> 01:06:15,902
And I'm leaving.
1395
01:06:16,669 --> 01:06:18,236
You have to account for
yourself. And you're playing.
1396
01:06:18,437 --> 01:06:19,404
- Right now?
- Yes, now.
1397
01:06:19,605 --> 01:06:20,305
It's nighttime.
1398
01:06:20,505 --> 01:06:21,708
And it's on
the other side of town.
1399
01:06:21,908 --> 01:06:24,711
I know.
And it's time I crossed over.
1400
01:06:35,688 --> 01:06:37,623
That was you on the Vespa.
1401
01:06:40,258 --> 01:06:41,493
Get on!
1402
01:06:41,961 --> 01:06:44,463
Are you kidding me?
I'm not getting on that thing.
1403
01:06:44,664 --> 01:06:45,364
Big bikes scare me.
1404
01:06:45,798 --> 01:06:48,333
You wanted me to do
something first, first, so I am.
1405
01:06:48,533 --> 01:06:49,736
So get on.
1406
01:06:57,542 --> 01:06:59,478
I don't have to
hold on to you, do I?
1407
01:07:08,955 --> 01:07:11,189
I can see why you steal cars!
1408
01:07:11,858 --> 01:07:14,426
You can borrow it
anytime you want!
1409
01:07:14,927 --> 01:07:16,528
Did you ever crash?
1410
01:07:16,729 --> 01:07:17,664
What?
1411
01:07:17,897 --> 01:07:18,798
CRASH!
1412
01:07:18,998 --> 01:07:21,266
Once. I hit a tree.
1413
01:07:21,734 --> 01:07:23,335
What happened?
1414
01:07:23,703 --> 01:07:25,872
I woke up after a few hours.
1415
01:07:26,171 --> 01:07:28,206
You went to the hospital?
1416
01:07:28,607 --> 01:07:30,475
No, I went home.
1417
01:07:30,843 --> 01:07:33,178
That explains a lot.
1418
01:07:33,746 --> 01:07:35,948
Watch the road!
1419
01:07:57,436 --> 01:07:59,972
- Am I using your wife's racket?
- No.
1420
01:08:00,740 --> 01:08:03,275
You're using mine.
I'm using hers.
1421
01:08:03,475 --> 01:08:05,477
That explains
why you're winning.
1422
01:08:11,516 --> 01:08:13,318
- Fault!
- Yours.
1423
01:08:13,518 --> 01:08:14,754
- I know it's my fault.
- Good...
1424
01:08:14,954 --> 01:08:16,989
I'm glad
you finally admitted it.
1425
01:08:21,593 --> 01:08:22,161
Double fault!
1426
01:08:22,627 --> 01:08:23,896
I'm glad you're finally
admitting it, too.
1427
01:08:24,097 --> 01:08:24,931
- That was out.
- That was in.
1428
01:08:25,131 --> 01:08:25,698
I'm telling you that was out.
1429
01:08:26,065 --> 01:08:26,933
You're telling me
about boundaries?
1430
01:08:27,432 --> 01:08:29,601
You take other people's cars!
You take other people's coke!
1431
01:08:29,802 --> 01:08:30,535
You go into my attic,
1432
01:08:31,170 --> 01:08:32,839
you go into my wallet, you go
into my house when I'm not home!
1433
01:08:33,039 --> 01:08:35,273
You don't know anything
about boundaries!
1434
01:08:38,044 --> 01:08:39,277
Okay.
1435
01:08:39,478 --> 01:08:40,579
Okay, what?
1436
01:08:40,880 --> 01:08:42,380
Okay, it was in.
1437
01:08:42,815 --> 01:08:43,816
Good...
1438
01:08:44,616 --> 01:08:45,752
I'll serve.
1439
01:08:50,990 --> 01:08:53,358
I really enjoyed the clams on
the half shell the other night.
1440
01:08:53,558 --> 01:08:55,327
They helped me
shoot straight in bed.
1441
01:08:55,527 --> 01:08:57,362
I find that subtly upsetting.
1442
01:08:57,797 --> 01:09:01,333
- My wife also enjoyed them.
- I find that very upsetting.
1443
01:09:03,368 --> 01:09:04,904
Why are you saying this to me?
1444
01:09:05,104 --> 01:09:07,006
- That was in.
- Yeah, I know it was in.
1445
01:09:07,206 --> 01:09:08,975
Good. My serve.
1446
01:09:13,345 --> 01:09:14,680
Do you shoot straight in bed?
1447
01:09:14,881 --> 01:09:16,749
None of your business
how I shoot.
1448
01:09:16,949 --> 01:09:18,785
If you ordered the clams
instead of the carpaccio,
1449
01:09:18,985 --> 01:09:20,285
you would see the difference.
1450
01:09:20,485 --> 01:09:23,288
I don't need an appetizer
to be stimulated.
1451
01:09:23,488 --> 01:09:24,891
We all need stimulation.
1452
01:09:25,091 --> 01:09:26,959
You're too submissive
to be stimulating.
1453
01:09:27,160 --> 01:09:28,593
- Girls love that.
- Women don't.
1454
01:09:28,795 --> 01:09:29,461
Yours?
1455
01:09:29,662 --> 01:09:31,030
No, you don't talk
about my wife.
1456
01:09:31,230 --> 01:09:32,932
Why? You talk about mine.
1457
01:09:33,365 --> 01:09:35,635
I saw you peering at her
through the privacy curtain.
1458
01:09:35,835 --> 01:09:36,636
I wasn't prying.
1459
01:09:36,936 --> 01:09:38,871
I said you were peering.
You said you were prying.
1460
01:09:39,071 --> 01:09:39,906
I didn't mean anything by it.
1461
01:09:40,206 --> 01:09:42,642
That's what you always say
when you get caught.
1462
01:09:42,842 --> 01:09:43,976
I don't remember what I said.
1463
01:09:44,177 --> 01:09:45,678
I remember everything you said.
1464
01:09:45,878 --> 01:09:46,979
That's the problem.
1465
01:09:54,419 --> 01:09:56,088
I lost track of the score.
1466
01:09:56,354 --> 01:09:58,390
I'd say I'm winning.
1467
01:09:58,825 --> 01:09:59,759
Your serve.
1468
01:10:15,507 --> 01:10:16,742
You ready?
1469
01:10:48,674 --> 01:10:49,842
Ready.
1470
01:10:51,711 --> 01:10:53,511
- Fifteen-Love.
- Less.
1471
01:10:54,280 --> 01:10:57,582
What did you just say?
I didn't, I didn't say anything.
1472
01:11:02,520 --> 01:11:04,056
Okay. Here we go again.
1473
01:11:05,958 --> 01:11:06,959
- Fifteen-Love.
- Less.
1474
01:11:07,159 --> 01:11:08,828
I heard you that time.
1475
01:11:11,030 --> 01:11:13,699
How does one become
loveless anyway?
1476
01:11:16,468 --> 01:11:18,137
One's wife has to die.
1477
01:11:18,570 --> 01:11:21,573
- Mine didn't.
- Yeah, well, mine did!
1478
01:11:22,074 --> 01:11:23,142
Okay?
1479
01:11:23,743 --> 01:11:25,011
Mine did!
1480
01:11:40,126 --> 01:11:43,461
Wouldn't that make you
less loveless than me?
1481
01:11:43,996 --> 01:11:45,530
And not more?
1482
01:11:45,731 --> 01:11:47,099
No, more...
1483
01:11:50,903 --> 01:11:53,471
Because your wife
is still alive.
1484
01:11:54,840 --> 01:11:57,944
And if she was dead,
then we would be even.
1485
01:12:00,179 --> 01:12:01,647
Don't even think about it.
1486
01:12:01,847 --> 01:12:03,883
I'm not thinking about that.
1487
01:12:04,817 --> 01:12:06,152
What are you thinking about?
1488
01:12:06,352 --> 01:12:09,689
That a plumber can spot a
clogged drain when he sees one.
1489
01:12:10,723 --> 01:12:12,524
You're calling me
a clogged drain?
1490
01:12:13,960 --> 01:12:16,696
You were talking about
yourself before, weren't you?
1491
01:12:20,866 --> 01:12:22,735
Don't stare at me.
Were you or weren't you?
1492
01:12:23,703 --> 01:12:24,804
Yeah, I guess I was.
1493
01:12:26,973 --> 01:12:27,773
I knew it.
1494
01:12:28,441 --> 01:12:31,110
- I can't believe it.
- Believe what?
1495
01:12:32,610 --> 01:12:35,114
You actually said
something original.
1496
01:12:35,448 --> 01:12:38,017
Something that wasn't mirrored,
or mimicked or mimed.
1497
01:12:38,217 --> 01:12:41,087
It actually came
from deep down inside of you.
1498
01:12:42,788 --> 01:12:46,624
How did you ever come up
with such an astute observation?
1499
01:12:47,226 --> 01:12:48,928
It was work-related.
1500
01:12:50,796 --> 01:12:52,031
I believe you.
1501
01:12:52,564 --> 01:12:54,166
Is that an observation?
1502
01:12:54,499 --> 01:12:55,868
It's a compliment.
1503
01:12:56,068 --> 01:12:57,703
Oh, my first one!
1504
01:12:59,138 --> 01:13:00,538
Will there be others?
1505
01:13:01,007 --> 01:13:02,574
We'll see.
1506
01:13:03,608 --> 01:13:04,744
Thank you, Tony.
1507
01:13:06,345 --> 01:13:08,881
Is it okay if I call you Tony?
1508
01:13:09,749 --> 01:13:10,515
Yeah.
1509
01:13:10,950 --> 01:13:13,019
You see, I called you Tony
before you called me Peter,
1510
01:13:13,219 --> 01:13:15,087
so it's not really
a one-way mirror, is it?
1511
01:13:19,225 --> 01:13:20,826
Maybe not, Peter.
1512
01:13:21,794 --> 01:13:22,762
Maybe not.
1513
01:13:26,365 --> 01:13:29,168
Then maybe you should be the one
wearing the red pants, not me.
1514
01:13:29,435 --> 01:13:32,004
I don't know about that but...
1515
01:13:35,241 --> 01:13:38,610
All black certainly is
depressing after a while.
1516
01:13:42,715 --> 01:13:44,750
You gonna hold on to me
this time?
1517
01:13:44,950 --> 01:13:46,652
I'll let you know.
1518
01:13:47,520 --> 01:13:51,323
You know, my wife has
an identical twin sister.
1519
01:13:51,657 --> 01:13:53,292
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
1520
01:13:53,492 --> 01:13:56,095
So I've been to her house
and she has a lot of it.
1521
01:13:56,295 --> 01:13:57,329
A lot of what?
1522
01:13:58,230 --> 01:13:59,999
A lot of clutter.
1523
01:14:10,313 --> 01:14:15,313
Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
108392