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1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:05,840
♪ We're not going out
Not staying in
2
00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:09,200
♪ Just hanging around
with my head in a spin
3
00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:12,800
♪ But there is no need
to scream and shout
4
00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:15,440
♪ We're not going out
5
00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:18,280
♪ We are not going out. ♪
6
00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:28,040
Morning.
7
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:32,760
Hair of the dog?
Looks lovely. Just had it cut?
8
00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:37,520
Do you know what I like about you?
..Finished.
9
00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:43,640
So what are you doing for Bonfire
Night? Nothing planned.
10
00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:47,880
Shame, really. I used to love it
when I was a kid. So exciting.
11
00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:51,920
Writing my name with sparklers,
toffee apples...
12
00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:54,640
I see why you changed it to Lucy.
13
00:00:57,400 --> 00:01:04,040
Why don't we do something tonight?
We could go on the roof and light some fireworks. Just me and you?
14
00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:09,640
Yeah. Well, and my good friends
Jacob Screek, Buck Sfizz
15
00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:14,320
and Rose a la Tesco.
I think I'd like them.
16
00:01:14,320 --> 00:01:19,160
You would. They're such pissheads
they named themselves after wine.
17
00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:26,600
Can't a lodger treat his landlady?
I'll create poetry in the sky. Screaming Exocets, Napalm Showers.
18
00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:29,440
Poetry? Stick to the limericks.
19
00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:35,440
There was an old woman from China,
who had an enormous... No, thank you!
20
00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:38,960
OK. Let's do it.
21
00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:44,480
Great.
You know a decent firework display can cost a couple of hundred quid?
22
00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:50,560
I don't remember using the word
"decent". Maybe I should nail you to the wall, set fire to your feet
23
00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:58,120
and watch you spin round and
whistle. That joke would be funny if your name was Catherine.
24
00:01:58,120 --> 00:02:03,920
KNOCKING
He's early. If that's my taxi, I'll just make myself look respectable.
25
00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:07,400
I'll tell him
to turn the engine off.
26
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:25,240
Is this
the world's slowest burglary?
27
00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:30,560
Sorry, can I help you?
28
00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:34,280
Who are you? ..I'm Lee.
29
00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:36,920
Put the television on.
30
00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:41,000
Sorry?
What are you doing here?
31
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:44,840
I live here.
I don't like porridge, you know.
32
00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:50,080
Am I having little blackouts
between these sentences?
33
00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:52,720
What time is Brian getting here?
34
00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:55,800
What's your favourite type of zebra?
35
00:02:55,800 --> 00:03:00,640
Pardon? Just thought I'd join in
with the game. It looks like fun.
36
00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:03,800
Hello.
37
00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:08,400
Sorry, you are...?
I slept with him last night.
38
00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:18,440
She's not firing on all cylinders.
I don't want the intimate details.
39
00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:24,880
I don't even know her name.
This isn't getting any better. She's confused. I know how she feels.
40
00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:28,960
She keeps wondering why I'm
in her flat. I know how she feels.
41
00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:33,200
And she keeps fantasising about
having sex with me. Your turn.
42
00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:37,520
She just wandered in. She's...
You know? What?
43
00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:41,320
The wheel's still spinning,
but the hamster's dead.
44
00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:46,000
Oh, beautifully put(!) Tell me more
about the woman from China.
45
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,920
Her... No!
46
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:57,400
Where do you live, darling?
I live here. No, you don't. I live here...with that.
47
00:03:57,400 --> 00:04:01,840
With my boyfriend?!
Will you please stop saying that?
48
00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:05,480
I think you've got the wrong house.
Oh, no.
49
00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:10,960
Have I done it again?
Oh, that's OK. We all get confused now and again, sweetheart.
50
00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:16,280
Don't patronise me
or I'll punch you in the face!
51
00:04:16,280 --> 00:04:20,320
You can take care of this
seeing as you let her in. I didn't.
52
00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:26,720
She confused me with her non
sequiturs and smell of biscuits. I'm going to be late. Sort it out.
53
00:04:31,280 --> 00:04:33,520
I'll put the kettle on.
54
00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:45,040
I can't get
this bloody television on!
55
00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:53,240
You need to press TV3, then Help,
then Select, then on this one AV1, Backup, TV Guide,
56
00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:56,320
then on this one All Channels,
then Select again.
57
00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:04,360
Don't worry, it's not you. That even
breaks teenagers. Let's forget the telly and find out about you.
58
00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:07,920
Where do you live? In a house.
59
00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:12,560
Great. We've ruled out
the old woman who lives in a shoe.
60
00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:17,320
I can't remember the address. Well,
how did you get here this morning?
61
00:05:18,280 --> 00:05:22,600
I'm not sure.
Did you get the bus? Yes!
62
00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:24,760
Are you sure? Yes.
63
00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:29,600
How many?
..Was it two buses? Yes.
64
00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:32,600
Was one of them green? Yes.
65
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:35,520
And the other one pink? Yes.
66
00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:40,720
Did you do the last bit
in a hot-air balloon? Yes.
67
00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:46,840
When's my son Brian getting here?
Who knows? 8, 9, Friday, Christmas Eve? Brian - just like his mum!
68
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:53,160
Can I have a look in your handbag?
Why? You might have some ID.
69
00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:59,040
You mean you want my house key
so you can rob me blind, you dodgy little bastard.
70
00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:07,200
How can I rob you if I don't know
where you live? When's Brian coming?
71
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:12,040
I'm starting to dislike Brian.
Do you know where he lives? Who?
72
00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:19,240
Are you doing this deliberately?
I've got loads to do, like trying to get free fireworks, so can I look?
73
00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:22,880
I haven't got fireworks
in my handbag.
74
00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:25,040
I'm not mental!
75
00:06:25,040 --> 00:06:27,480
I've got this.
76
00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:37,600
Right, that's it. Get out.
77
00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:40,480
Well, someone had to pick him up!
78
00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:45,200
Sorry, I can't handle this.
You'll have to go. Is Brian outside?
79
00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:48,800
Yeah. He's in a cab.
Are you sure? Absolutely.
80
00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:53,080
Yep, there he is.
She's just coming down now, Brian!
81
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:58,280
Has he brought me some sherry?
Have you brought the sherry? Yes.
82
00:06:58,280 --> 00:07:04,720
And the flapjacks? And the flapjacks,
Brian? Yes. And the air rifle and the live squirrels.
83
00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:13,080
Thanks again for last night.
I don't know what was best - the sex or the free Werther's Original.
84
00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:23,640
Where's she gone? I threw her out.
You did what? I threw her out.
85
00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:25,800
You threw her out? Yes.
86
00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:29,600
You threw her out?
Is what she's got catching? Yes.
87
00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:36,040
But she doesn't know where her home
is. Maybe if she hadn't killed that pigeon, he could have helped.
88
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:44,720
Throwing out an old lady when
she clearly needs help. What's the matter with you? Get her back, now.
89
00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:48,760
Why can't you go?
I'm wearing a towel.
90
00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:50,920
I'll keep hold of it.
91
00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:54,920
And I am wearing my pyjamas, Lucy.
92
00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:57,160
OK, fair enough.
93
00:07:57,160 --> 00:08:00,960
She'll be all right, won't she?
Of course she will.
94
00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:07,800
All right. You did your best.
Exactly. Grab the newspaper and I'll make you a nice cup of tea. Thanks.
95
00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:14,160
DOOR LOCKS
I can't believe I fell for that. Again.
96
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:22,240
Hello? Old woman?
97
00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:24,080
Hello?
98
00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:26,200
Old woman?
99
00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:30,200
Hello...young woman.
100
00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:34,160
I'm looking for an old woman
with a dead pigeon.
101
00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:39,960
I mean, she's got the dead pigeon.
I'm not using a dead pigeon to look for an old woman.
102
00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:44,040
A big net would be better.
103
00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:47,520
Do you need all of those fireworks?
104
00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:57,200
Old woman!
105
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:07,960
Hello.
106
00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:09,960
Er, hello, old woman?
107
00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:16,200
Who are you?
Do you want to come back to my flat?
108
00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:21,840
What flat? The flat you were at
a few minutes ago.
109
00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:24,120
I wasn't at any flat.
110
00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:27,680
Yes, you were.
Come back with me. No!
111
00:09:27,680 --> 00:09:30,120
I've got flapjacks.
112
00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:32,600
Leave me alone!
113
00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:37,200
Do you know this man? I've never
met him before in all of my life!
114
00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:41,600
She's not well. Well, at least
she managed to get dressed properly.
115
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:46,960
Actually,
I think I do know him.
116
00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:48,640
See.
117
00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:51,160
We slept together last night.
118
00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:58,120
Are we going back to have more sex?
119
00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:03,360
Yes, dear.
We're going back to have more sex.
120
00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:09,440
Two cups of Horlicks
and she's anyone's. Thanks, dear.
121
00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:12,080
You're a good grandson. Oh, God!
122
00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:18,240
KNOCK AT DOOR
123
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:24,160
Hello. Remember me? I'm the one
that used to have a bit of dignity.
124
00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:26,680
No, it's not ringing any bells.
125
00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:30,440
Phone the police. Now.
126
00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:33,920
Right, you just...sit there.
127
00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:37,840
And if you remember anything at all,
let me know.
128
00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:45,400
I remember the war. Well,
keep spooling forward from there and at 2011, I'll meet you there.
129
00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:47,640
KNOCK AT DOOR
130
00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:56,000
Sorry, madam. The madhouse is full
today. You and your donkey will have to sleep in the stables.
131
00:10:56,000 --> 00:11:01,320
Oh, I get it. It's a Nativity joke
because it's Guy Fawkes Night.
132
00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:07,800
Hello.
133
00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:11,000
It's an old woman.
134
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:15,440
Thank God you're on the case,
Holmes. We were lost.
135
00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:18,320
Beer goggles on again last night?
136
00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:25,880
I didn't meet her last night.
I wasn't talking to you.
137
00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:34,520
She just appeared at the flat
this morning. She's...you know.
138
00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:37,920
What? A nugget short
of a Happy Meal.
139
00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:42,920
I thought they'd done that
to me once.
140
00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:48,400
But it was my mistake.
I'd actually ordered a fishburger.
141
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,360
Make us a cup of tea, then.
142
00:11:55,360 --> 00:12:00,960
Look, I've got loads to do,
so get to the point and sod off. No offence.
143
00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:07,360
None taken. Want to join us at
a firework display, you degenerate lowlife cretin? No offence.
144
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:11,400
We've already made plans.
We? We?
145
00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:17,920
I assume "we" is you and my sister.
I need the toilet. All this wee talk.
146
00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:23,600
It's through there. Follow
your nose. I never understood that.
147
00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:27,880
It means go straight. I know,
but it could also mean turn right.
148
00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:32,520
If you turn right, you're still
following your nose. Look.
149
00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:36,440
That's left.
150
00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:43,960
I'd like to discuss this further,
but I have lots to do.
151
00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:48,400
Someone usually takes me to the
toilet. I'll stick the kettle on!
152
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:53,840
We'll take her to the toilet.
Really? Yes, not a problem.
153
00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:57,800
Then we'll polish your shoes
and buy you some prophylactics.
154
00:12:57,800 --> 00:13:00,880
The word is pyrotechnics.
155
00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:07,720
They're condoms, Daisy,
for sarcastic posh boys obsessed with their sister's welfare.
156
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:12,440
Wow. That's very specific. We'll
just stick with the strawberry ones.
157
00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:18,360
Fine! I'll take her.
Can you at least phone the police?
158
00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:23,360
I don't know the number. If only
they had an easy three-digit one!
159
00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:30,320
I can't phone 999. It's not an
emergency. You're not the one taking Thora Hird's mum to the bog! Phone!
160
00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:37,560
Is it the policeman who will get
the reward, do you think?
161
00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:41,800
What reward?
This happens a lot, I'm afraid.
162
00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:44,000
I get a little lost
163
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:50,000
and the person that takes me home
gets a reward from my son.
164
00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:55,040
He's a very rich man.
165
00:13:56,440 --> 00:14:01,200
Good morning, Officer.
I'd like to report an incident.
166
00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:11,760
Sorry? You want me to help you claim
a reward so you can buy expensive fireworks that I can't watch
167
00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:15,800
so you can worm your way into my
sister's bed? Don't be ridiculous.
168
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:20,240
I don't want expensive ones.
I just wanna banger.
169
00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:23,440
No chance. OK.
170
00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:26,080
You and Daisy are invited, too.
171
00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:32,600
You can't win me over with
a few sparklers. I'm not a child.
172
00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:36,640
There will be rockets, too.
Can I light them?
173
00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:41,920
I made it with wholemeal bread.
Hope that's OK.
174
00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:46,480
I don't know
why they call it wholemeal.
175
00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:53,400
Cos I don't think
that's a whole meal, is it? Especially if you didn't eat it all.
176
00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:57,080
Is there something wrong with you?
177
00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:04,800
Hello.
Sorry, I didn't introduce myself. I'm Tim. I'm Lee's best friend.
178
00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:09,640
Him? Yes. Unbelievable, isn't it?
It was him or Idi Amin.
179
00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:13,480
If only I'd called "Heads".
So what's your name?
180
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:17,880
Betty. Well, Betty, I think we need
to find out exactly where you live.
181
00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:24,480
Now I want you
to close your eyes and relax. Why do I need to close my eyes?
182
00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:27,880
To help you keep a straight face.
Daisy does it.
183
00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:32,120
Actually, I do sometimes giggle
when we're doing it, don't I? Daisy!
184
00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:38,560
Sorry. It's just that sometimes
when you're on top of me, I just want to shout, "Pile on!"
185
00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:47,840
If you close your eyes and relax,
it might help you remember. OK.
186
00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:50,480
Now, Betty, think about your home.
187
00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:54,600
What can you see?
A man. Good.
188
00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:57,320
Actually, two men.
189
00:15:57,320 --> 00:16:02,080
Great. Now who are these men, Betty?
I don't know.
190
00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:04,320
What do they look like?
191
00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:08,760
One of them
has got a green jumper on.
192
00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:14,200
And blue trousers.
And a stripy scarf.
193
00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:20,160
I don't trust him.
He's got blond hair.
194
00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:23,160
And an evil face like a Nazi.
195
00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:30,880
The other one...
has got his pyjamas on
196
00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:32,920
and no shoes.
197
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:41,400
I don't like him, either.
I think he might be one of them sexual deviants.
198
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,640
And they've got a pet monkey.
199
00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:51,000
Oh, I love monkeys.
200
00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:58,000
I think it's time for Plan B.
I'll have to take her out. We can't shoot her!
201
00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:07,440
We'll walk round and see if anyone
knows her. I'll get dressed. You carry on the interrogation.
202
00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:11,280
Five more minutes
of good cop, monkey cop.
203
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:18,600
You can hit her across the face
with your leather glove, Goebbels. You'd like that...pervert!
204
00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:26,560
♪ When I get older, losing my hair
205
00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:28,960
♪ Many years from now
206
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:32,560
♪ Will you still be sending me
a valentine
207
00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:36,720
♪ Birthday greetings,
bottle of wine
208
00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:40,240
♪ If I've been out
'til quarter to three
209
00:17:40,240 --> 00:17:42,920
♪ Would you lock the door
210
00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:46,920
♪ Will you still need me
Will you still feed me
211
00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:49,360
♪ When I'm sixty-four
212
00:17:56,800 --> 00:18:01,800
♪ You'll be older, too
213
00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:09,920
♪ And if you say the word
214
00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:14,520
♪ I could stay with you
215
00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:25,560
♪ I could be handy mending a fuse
When your lights have gone
216
00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:29,400
♪ You can knit a sweater
by the fireside
217
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:32,840
♪ Sunday mornings, go for a ride
218
00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:36,160
♪ Doing the garden, digging the weeds
219
00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:39,040
♪ Who could ask for more
220
00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:43,280
♪ Will you still need me
Will you still feed me
221
00:18:43,280 --> 00:18:45,920
♪ When I'm sixty-four... ♪
222
00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:53,480
We're never going to find out
where she lives. No reward, no fireworks.
223
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:56,080
So now what do we do?
224
00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:59,920
Come on. Let's get you
to the police station, Betty.
225
00:19:01,360 --> 00:19:04,800
Hello, Betty! Are you lost again?
226
00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:10,040
You know her? Oh, yes.
I always see Betty out and about.
227
00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:16,880
She's a little forgetful.
She lives in the big house, corner of Victoria Road and Spencer Avenue.
228
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:21,720
You beauty!
229
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:38,040
Wow. This bloke must be minted.
230
00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:44,480
There's going to be some serious
firework action on that roof tonight. Oh, I love fireworks.
231
00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:46,720
Can I come as well?
232
00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:49,360
It's a very specific guest list.
233
00:19:49,360 --> 00:19:53,800
You have to be under 35, work
in recruitment and be my sister.
234
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:57,440
Is that me? No. Come on.
235
00:20:00,360 --> 00:20:06,240
Well, well, well, look who it is.
We've been looking for you. We've taken good care of her.
236
00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:09,320
He tried to sleep with me!
237
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:14,640
I didn't. Honest.
Don't worry. I understand.
238
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:19,440
She gets a little confused.
Are you going to say thank you?
239
00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:23,080
Good luck with the fireworks.
240
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:25,600
I hope you get your end away.
241
00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:32,600
Thanks a lot, guys.
It's really appreciated. It's OK.
242
00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:36,120
Very kind of you. ..Yeah.
243
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:43,280
We found the whole experience
quite...rewarding.
244
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:46,240
Yeah, Betty's quite a character.
245
00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:48,800
It was very good of you.
246
00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:51,280
Thanks. Again.
247
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:53,360
That's OK.
248
00:20:53,360 --> 00:20:57,040
It's the kind of good deed
you can't put a price on.
249
00:20:57,040 --> 00:21:00,360
Or maybe you can. Who knows?
250
00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:02,160
Bye.
251
00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:04,480
Oi, Brian?
252
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:07,160
My name's not Brian.
253
00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:11,760
So who are you? I'm Andy.
I work here. This is a care home.
254
00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:14,200
Betty's lived here for a few years.
255
00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:18,600
But she said... There was
a rich son and a big reward?
256
00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:22,080
Yes.
257
00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:26,720
She always tells people that.
There's no reward. Or rich son.
258
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:31,200
He lives abroad. Hardly ever
sees her. She hasn't got anyone.
259
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:33,640
That's awful. Yeah.
260
00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:37,280
So she hasn't got any...money?
261
00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:39,840
He means family.
262
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:44,120
No family. I think that's why she
keeps wandering off. She's lonely.
263
00:21:44,120 --> 00:21:48,000
Anyway, thanks again, guys.
Appreciated.
264
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:50,200
Wait...
265
00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:55,840
Don't suppose you've got any
old fireworks you're not using?
266
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:10,040
Do you ever think about getting old?
Being about 80, on your own in a care home,
267
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:12,640
lonely, waiting for death?
268
00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:15,160
Only when I'm out with you.
269
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:20,640
Well? I think of old age
a bit like going to Wales.
270
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:24,480
I'll cross that bridge
only when I have to.
271
00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:28,000
One day you will have to cross it.
272
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:33,000
Like The Who said, "I hope I die
before I get old." And if you don't?
273
00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:38,320
I'll become deaf, dumb and blind
and learn to play pinball.
274
00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:41,840
I'll be fine.
I'll get loads of visitors.
275
00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:46,440
Like who?
My mum and dad. When you're 80?!
276
00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:52,440
That would make them... Let me
think. You're from the north. 94?
277
00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:58,520
Poor old dear said
she loves fireworks.
278
00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:03,440
I bet it would mean the world to her
to be invited to a firework display tonight.
279
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:09,520
Oh, this night's getting better
by the minute! "Sorry, it was two sparklers and a petrol bomb, Lucy,
280
00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:13,680
"but don't worry. Here's forgetful
Betty and her dead animals!
281
00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:18,480
"And later we've got the evil Nazi
and his amazing performing monkey!"
282
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:22,800
She's an unhappy and confused woman
with a severe mental condition!
283
00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:27,360
Yeah, and I shouldn't call her
a monkey. She's your girlfriend.
284
00:23:27,360 --> 00:23:33,800
Betty's a very lonely woman
who needs a little compassion. Your attitude hasn't helped.
285
00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:36,360
Just do the right thing for once.
286
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:39,680
Well?
287
00:23:45,560 --> 00:23:49,000
♪ Good night, sweetheart
288
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:53,560
♪ 'Til we meet tomorrow
289
00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:59,040
♪ Good night, sweetheart
290
00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:03,080
♪ Sleep will banish sorrow... ♪
291
00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:06,000
Hello, Betty. AAAAH!
292
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:09,120
Who the bloody hell are you?!
293
00:24:09,120 --> 00:24:12,080
Get out! Get out, you bloody pervert!
294
00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:14,360
Pervert! Get out!
295
00:24:14,360 --> 00:24:17,000
Get out! Somebody help!
296
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:33,560
Right.
Stand back and hold on to your hats. This little baby is about to blow.
297
00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:50,720
Whoo!
298
00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:53,200
A-All right!
299
00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:57,760
More...
300
00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:03,520
That's it. Not the first time
you've had to say that to a woman.
301
00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:09,120
That was a waste of ã5.60.
Not the first time you've had to say that to a woman.
302
00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:17,440
Last time I buy fire-damaged stock.
You bought fireworks that didn't even go off in a fire?
303
00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:21,480
Anyone want to share a last
sparkler? Oh, that reminds me.
304
00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:26,040
It isn't strawberry we like.
It's the ones that glow in the dark.
305
00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:40,480
Tim told me what you did.
306
00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:43,160
I cleaned it up.
307
00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:45,320
I mean about Betty.
308
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:49,400
Why, what have you...? Nothing.
309
00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:56,160
Sorry it's been such a let down.
Betty doesn't seem to think so.
310
00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:02,800
She's having the time of her life.
311
00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:05,960
Well done.
312
00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:08,120
You did well.
313
00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:13,040
FIREWORK EXPLODES
314
00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:17,080
♪ Yeah, you and me
we can ride on a star
315
00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:19,920
♪ If you stay by my side
316
00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:23,760
♪ We can rule the world
317
00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:27,560
♪ All the stars
are coming out tonight
318
00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:30,600
♪ They're lighting up the sky tonight
319
00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:35,040
♪ For you, for you
320
00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:39,480
♪ All the stars
are coming out tonight
321
00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:42,640
♪ They're lighting up the sky tonight
322
00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:46,640
♪ For you, for you
323
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:50,480
♪ All the stars
are coming out tonight
324
00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:53,120
♪ They're lighting up the sky tonight
325
00:26:53,120 --> 00:26:55,200
♪ For you
326
00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:58,200
♪ For you
327
00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:02,240
♪ All the stars
are coming out tonight
328
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:05,080
♪ They're lighting up the sky tonight
329
00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:07,320
♪ For you
330
00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:11,720
♪ For you-ou. ♪
331
00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:15,120
FIREWORKS EXPLODE
332
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:23,840
♪ We're not going out
Not staying in
333
00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:27,280
♪ Just hanging around
with my head in a spin
334
00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:30,320
♪ But there is no need
to scream and shout
335
00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:32,760
♪ We're not going out
336
00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:36,120
♪ We are not going out. ♪
337
00:27:36,170 --> 00:27:40,720
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