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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,310 --> 00:00:02,172 [explosion] 2 00:00:10,310 --> 00:00:11,103 [sizzling] 3 00:00:21,965 --> 00:00:22,655 [intense] 4 00:00:29,655 --> 00:00:31,689 [spooky music] 5 00:02:38,827 --> 00:02:40,344 [music starts to fade] 6 00:02:46,241 --> 00:02:47,068 Ahh! 7 00:02:47,931 --> 00:02:49,206 [heavy breathing] 8 00:02:52,103 --> 00:02:55,241 This is the most frightening movie, and these are only 9 00:02:55,241 --> 00:02:58,827 the opening credits! I don't know what I'm gonna do! 10 00:03:00,896 --> 00:03:04,344 Greetings from Tromaville! I'm Lloyd Kaufman, president of Troma Entertainment and 11 00:03:04,344 --> 00:03:06,793 creator of the Toxic Avenger. 12 00:03:08,793 --> 00:03:12,310 And the film you are about to see is probably one of the most horrifying, and downright 13 00:03:14,241 --> 00:03:19,206 bloodcurdling creations that I have ever witnessed in my fifty years of Troma filmmaking! 14 00:03:21,793 --> 00:03:26,793 Yep! The Killer Shrews! A movie about redemption, hope... and ice cream. 15 00:03:29,103 --> 00:03:34,103 Ah, yes. The year was 1959. Eisenhower was president. Communism was flourishing, the music 16 00:03:38,689 --> 00:03:43,689 was dying... and I... I was getting out of prison. I'll never forget it. 17 00:03:46,034 --> 00:03:49,620 And who could forget those wonderful dogs wearing mops?! 18 00:03:51,068 --> 00:03:53,620 And I know mops. Just ask ol' lumpy head back there. 19 00:03:55,551 --> 00:03:56,620 Killer shrews... 20 00:03:56,620 --> 00:03:58,137 ...murderous Muppets! 21 00:03:58,862 --> 00:03:59,344 Yes! 22 00:04:00,620 --> 00:04:02,758 There's no business like shrew business! 23 00:04:03,931 --> 00:04:06,310 It's now time to sit back, relax... 24 00:04:08,793 --> 00:04:12,000 ...munch on some delicious popcorn with that artery-hardening butter stuff they put on it... 25 00:04:13,931 --> 00:04:18,620 ...and get ready to watch the amazing reimagining of Ken Cosentino's 26 00:04:19,620 --> 00:04:22,310 Attack of the Killer Shrews! 27 00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:27,413 [creepy music starts] 28 00:04:29,793 --> 00:04:30,275 [slap] 29 00:04:31,689 --> 00:04:32,172 [slap] 30 00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:33,724 [slap] 31 00:04:35,068 --> 00:04:38,137 Svenson! We're going to be rich beyond our wildest dreams! 32 00:04:38,896 --> 00:04:39,862 That's great, sir! 33 00:04:48,068 --> 00:04:53,000 See, Svenson? It's working! My children are growing! 34 00:04:54,517 --> 00:04:56,103 My serum is working! 35 00:04:57,034 --> 00:04:57,896 You did it sir! 36 00:04:58,758 --> 00:05:00,103 No, Svenson.... we did it! 37 00:05:00,793 --> 00:05:01,827 [purring] 38 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,758 Look Svenson!!! Look how big it's getting!! 39 00:05:06,344 --> 00:05:06,793 Uh, sir?! 40 00:05:07,655 --> 00:05:09,551 I think I will call it Nibbles! 41 00:05:09,551 --> 00:05:10,344 [shrew screeching] 42 00:05:10,344 --> 00:05:10,965 [Svenson screaming] 43 00:05:11,827 --> 00:05:13,103 Nibbles! Stop it! Nibbles! 44 00:05:13,965 --> 00:05:15,137 Stop eating him! 45 00:05:15,137 --> 00:05:16,000 Nibbles! 46 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:17,586 [roaring, gurgling] 47 00:05:20,724 --> 00:05:22,034 [laughter] Oh, Charles.. 48 00:05:23,724 --> 00:05:25,482 Thank you again for inviting us. 49 00:05:26,413 --> 00:05:27,862 It's a pleasure, darling! 50 00:05:29,068 --> 00:05:30,517 You too, Lewis. Thank you, Charles. 51 00:05:31,103 --> 00:05:31,310 [cork popping] 52 00:05:32,034 --> 00:05:33,206 [champagne pouring] 53 00:05:36,034 --> 00:05:38,137 Maybe once we're finished with our drinks, the professor can you show his 54 00:05:38,137 --> 00:05:40,413 shrunken head collection from South Africa! 55 00:05:41,551 --> 00:05:42,965 Oh how exciting! I'd love to see it! 56 00:05:44,758 --> 00:05:46,655 Here's to a successful first run! 57 00:05:47,517 --> 00:05:47,931 Here here! [glasses clank] 58 00:05:48,517 --> 00:05:48,793 Congratulations! 59 00:05:54,172 --> 00:05:56,551 [whispering] I couldn't have done it without you, Lewis... 60 00:05:58,482 --> 00:06:02,103 Charles.. you know I'm more than just your agent, I'm your biggest fan! 61 00:06:03,448 --> 00:06:05,000 Would you give us a preview reading, professor? 62 00:06:05,482 --> 00:06:06,000 Please? 63 00:06:06,724 --> 00:06:08,034 Ha! If you insist! 64 00:06:08,793 --> 00:06:09,034 We'd be delighted! 65 00:06:09,931 --> 00:06:11,103 Please... 66 00:06:11,103 --> 00:06:13,862 Make yourselves comfortable, actually... 67 00:06:14,965 --> 00:06:17,931 This'll be brief! ....from the prologue... 68 00:06:18,379 --> 00:06:18,827 Oh! 69 00:06:22,413 --> 00:06:27,310 Nary a quest has been ventured, in the scrolls of the history of man.. 70 00:06:27,310 --> 00:06:32,310 ..where one educated physicist has determined an exact equation for the heart and 71 00:06:34,689 --> 00:06:37,689 soul of mankind. 72 00:06:39,137 --> 00:06:43,310 Darwin! Maxwell! Einstein! 73 00:06:44,689 --> 00:06:49,379 They will quiver and cringe in the shadow of I... 74 00:06:51,344 --> 00:06:53,862 ..Professor Charles Perry. 75 00:06:56,413 --> 00:06:57,448 Brilliant, Charles! 76 00:06:58,034 --> 00:06:58,793 Marvelous! 77 00:06:59,517 --> 00:07:00,103 Thank you! Thank you! 78 00:07:01,551 --> 00:07:04,620 Well, I'll have to reread this when Fiona arrives! 79 00:07:05,724 --> 00:07:08,206 Fiona Rae?! The movie starlet?? 80 00:07:08,965 --> 00:07:10,103 The one and only! 81 00:07:11,241 --> 00:07:13,034 She's coming here? Now?! How's my hair?? 82 00:07:13,655 --> 00:07:14,103 You look great.. 83 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:16,724 She should be here already... 84 00:07:23,137 --> 00:07:26,482 I wonder what's taking her so long...? 85 00:07:30,206 --> 00:07:31,620 What the fuck is that?! 86 00:07:32,206 --> 00:07:34,965 [steam hissing] 87 00:07:34,965 --> 00:07:36,413 [engine thumping] 88 00:07:59,413 --> 00:07:59,931 [door slam] 89 00:08:04,965 --> 00:08:06,310 Having trouble ma'am? [thud] 90 00:08:06,793 --> 00:08:07,000 Ow! 91 00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:08,827 Woah! Hold on! 92 00:08:09,689 --> 00:08:10,862 You alright? 93 00:08:12,241 --> 00:08:13,241 I'm fine.. 94 00:08:14,241 --> 00:08:17,482 Ya sure you're OK? I know CPR... 95 00:08:18,827 --> 00:08:20,379 What's CPR? 96 00:08:22,137 --> 00:08:25,758 It's this new breathin' thing... say! Don't I recognize you's from somewheres? 97 00:08:27,689 --> 00:08:28,758 I get that a lot.. 98 00:08:29,655 --> 00:08:30,931 Where were you headin' miss? 99 00:08:32,620 --> 00:08:36,000 I was just going up the road... Mulberry Street? 100 00:08:37,413 --> 00:08:39,034 I was supposed to meet some friends for a small gathering... 101 00:08:39,034 --> 00:08:43,758 and then the engine started knocking and all this smoke poured out. 102 00:08:45,310 --> 00:08:48,344 Well, I can give you a ride there if you'd like? 103 00:08:49,068 --> 00:08:50,517 It's on my route anyway. 104 00:08:52,068 --> 00:08:54,241 Are you sure you don't mind? 105 00:08:54,862 --> 00:08:55,517 No absolutely! 106 00:08:56,689 --> 00:08:56,965 I wouldn't want to be a bother... 107 00:08:57,862 --> 00:08:58,724 Nonsense! 108 00:09:00,689 --> 00:09:04,586 You'd be surprised how lonely it can get in the car! Especially without Wayne... 109 00:09:05,896 --> 00:09:07,586 Come on! Hop in! I'll give ya a ride! 110 00:09:09,137 --> 00:09:10,206 I'll get my bag! 111 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:18,000 Does your friend have a phone? 112 00:09:18,551 --> 00:09:19,310 Yes. 113 00:09:20,724 --> 00:09:23,241 Alright! We'll just call a tow truck once we get inside. 114 00:09:23,862 --> 00:09:25,172 You're too kind! 115 00:09:31,448 --> 00:09:33,758 Your friend sure does like his privacy! 116 00:09:34,379 --> 00:09:35,310 Don't we all... 117 00:09:36,655 --> 00:09:37,448 [knocking] 118 00:09:45,413 --> 00:09:49,103 Feeeee-ooooh-nuh!!! 119 00:09:49,724 --> 00:09:50,586 Charles!! 120 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:52,758 [muttering] I see you brought a guest with you.. 121 00:09:54,103 --> 00:09:56,655 I'm Charles Perry, welcome to my humble abode! 122 00:09:56,655 --> 00:09:57,241 Martin Blake! 123 00:09:59,241 --> 00:10:02,310 Come on in, darling, we're having the most choice discussion about my book! 124 00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,172 You too Officer Drake! 125 00:10:04,172 --> 00:10:04,689 Blake, sir! 126 00:10:05,275 --> 00:10:05,620 Please come in.. 127 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:08,206 Come and have a drink with us! 128 00:10:09,379 --> 00:10:10,206 I'd love to but I'm on the clock. 129 00:10:12,034 --> 00:10:14,551 Mineral water for officer...[stammering] 130 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:15,413 Blake... 131 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,517 [dryly] Blake... 132 00:10:17,517 --> 00:10:20,310 Charles, I was so afraid I wasn't going to make it! 133 00:10:21,482 --> 00:10:24,413 Fiona! My dear! So good to see you! 134 00:10:24,413 --> 00:10:29,413 Lewis! Oh... there it is... the smell that won't go away... 135 00:10:31,068 --> 00:10:34,827 Allow me to introduce you to my better half, the lovely Cassandra! 136 00:10:35,586 --> 00:10:36,310 Cassandra? So beautiful! 137 00:10:37,206 --> 00:10:39,793 I am such a huge fan Miss Rae! 138 00:10:39,793 --> 00:10:40,724 May I call you Fiona? 139 00:10:40,724 --> 00:10:42,034 [whispering] Fiona Rae! 140 00:10:42,931 --> 00:10:43,724 Yes please! 141 00:10:45,689 --> 00:10:48,620 I am such a huge fan! I've seen all of your films! Some of them twice! 142 00:10:49,241 --> 00:10:50,068 Haha why? 143 00:10:50,068 --> 00:10:50,689 You're Fiona Rae! 144 00:10:53,827 --> 00:10:54,862 I am, yes! 145 00:10:56,827 --> 00:11:00,793 Wow! To think I had a movie star in my car! Wait til Wayne hears about this! 146 00:11:02,827 --> 00:11:07,689 Charles, I hate to trouble you, but may I please use your phone? I have to call a tow truck. 147 00:11:08,413 --> 00:11:09,344 Of course, my dear! 148 00:11:11,275 --> 00:11:14,965 Cassandra! Be a dear, would you please? And help Fiona with her....personals? 149 00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:18,137 Certainly! 150 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:20,448 Use the phone in the study! 151 00:11:21,034 --> 00:11:21,793 Thank you. 152 00:11:23,758 --> 00:11:26,310 You two will have much to talk about... 153 00:11:30,724 --> 00:11:32,241 Quite a place you've got here, Professor! 154 00:11:33,379 --> 00:11:35,482 It's a roof over my head, y'know...really... 155 00:11:37,448 --> 00:11:40,724 I do beg your pardon! This man is Lewis Fontana, my agent! Sheriff Blake! 156 00:11:44,551 --> 00:11:47,517 Please to meet you Sheriff...[slimy squishes]...thanks for keeping us safe. 157 00:11:49,413 --> 00:11:52,931 Just doing my duty. Why does a professor need an agent? 158 00:11:54,862 --> 00:11:59,655 I've simply published my latest book! It's a Symposium of History's Greatest Scholars! 159 00:12:04,275 --> 00:12:05,241 Non-fiction. 160 00:12:07,344 --> 00:12:08,620 We were just celebrating. 161 00:12:09,482 --> 00:12:11,103 Well, don't celebrate too hard. 162 00:12:12,586 --> 00:12:15,000 Congratulations, Professor, but I really must be going. 163 00:12:16,379 --> 00:12:18,965 So soon! But you've practically just got here! 164 00:12:19,551 --> 00:12:20,241 I'm on patrol. 165 00:12:21,758 --> 00:12:24,724 And what could possibly happen way out here? 166 00:12:27,655 --> 00:12:28,965 [sticks breaking] 167 00:12:30,482 --> 00:12:33,275 Where are you, you Shrewish bastards?!? 168 00:12:34,034 --> 00:12:36,206 Ahhh! There you are!! 169 00:12:39,655 --> 00:12:40,931 You really can't stay? 170 00:12:41,517 --> 00:12:41,965 Positive. 171 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:49,034 You're all in grave danger!!! 172 00:12:49,689 --> 00:12:50,413 Friend of yours? 173 00:12:51,241 --> 00:12:53,344 [parlor music plays] 174 00:12:54,793 --> 00:12:57,862 Doctor... you must be putting us on? 175 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:00,655 I am dead serious! 176 00:13:02,620 --> 00:13:06,137 There are gigantic killer shrews roaming these woods! We must all leave! 177 00:13:09,103 --> 00:13:10,965 There is no more time for discussion! 178 00:13:10,965 --> 00:13:13,827 Calm down! We know shrews aren't that big.. 179 00:13:14,551 --> 00:13:15,896 These ones are!!! 180 00:13:17,275 --> 00:13:19,862 Professor... this is some sort of prank, right? 181 00:13:21,620 --> 00:13:22,758 You must listen! 182 00:13:24,103 --> 00:13:27,000 I was experimenting...with a cure for rabies... 183 00:13:28,172 --> 00:13:30,000 ...when something went very wrong! 184 00:13:30,896 --> 00:13:33,827 These shrews...are RAVENOUS! 185 00:13:34,448 --> 00:13:35,482 What's a shrew? 186 00:13:36,413 --> 00:13:37,551 It's like a mole. 187 00:13:38,103 --> 00:13:38,620 Cute! 188 00:13:41,068 --> 00:13:45,551 Cute?! These shrews are not cute!! Have you not been listening to anything that I've said?! 189 00:13:50,206 --> 00:13:54,413 They are.... vicious killers! These are... 190 00:13:55,034 --> 00:13:56,275 KILLER SHREWS!! 191 00:13:56,275 --> 00:13:57,862 [dun dun DUN!] 192 00:13:57,862 --> 00:14:00,655 Fiona dear! Sounds like the plot for your next picture! 193 00:14:02,241 --> 00:14:04,655 I don't think that's very funny.... he's obviously disturbed... 194 00:14:05,517 --> 00:14:07,344 Come on, doc! Let's getcha home! 195 00:14:09,241 --> 00:14:13,344 You're all going to die!! Don't you see?! You're all going to die!! 196 00:14:14,068 --> 00:14:15,862 Don't make me cuff you! 197 00:14:16,827 --> 00:14:18,724 What a ghastly man! 198 00:14:19,758 --> 00:14:20,482 After you! 199 00:14:22,448 --> 00:14:23,103 [scary music plays] 200 00:14:23,103 --> 00:14:26,103 [screams!] [roaring, shrew noises] 201 00:14:26,862 --> 00:14:28,000 [growling] 202 00:14:28,517 --> 00:14:29,000 Help! 203 00:14:29,758 --> 00:14:30,551 Heeelp! 204 00:14:31,137 --> 00:14:31,482 [shrew noises] 205 00:14:32,068 --> 00:14:32,310 Help me!!! 206 00:14:33,586 --> 00:14:34,448 Heeelp! 207 00:14:35,206 --> 00:14:36,103 Heeeelp meeee! 208 00:14:36,724 --> 00:14:37,000 [roaring] 209 00:14:37,620 --> 00:14:38,137 Help me! 210 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:40,310 [roaring] Please help me!! 211 00:14:40,931 --> 00:14:41,413 [shotgun blast] 212 00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:43,758 [growling] 213 00:14:45,034 --> 00:14:45,620 [BLAM!] 214 00:14:46,896 --> 00:14:48,310 [danger music fades] 215 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:56,655 [whispering] What the fuck IS that thing?? 216 00:14:57,241 --> 00:14:58,068 What is it?! I don't know.. 217 00:14:59,517 --> 00:15:02,620 What the HELL do you think it is?? It's a killer shrew! 218 00:15:03,482 --> 00:15:04,310 He was telling the truth! 219 00:15:05,206 --> 00:15:05,965 Is it a dog? 220 00:15:07,137 --> 00:15:11,965 No it's not a damn dog! It's a SHREW! 221 00:15:12,655 --> 00:15:13,206 [cocks shotgun] 222 00:15:14,655 --> 00:15:16,310 We have to get out of here! Sweetheart, we need to leave! 223 00:15:17,172 --> 00:15:19,827 No one is going anywhere! 224 00:15:20,551 --> 00:15:22,034 And on who's authority? 225 00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:24,758 He's right, it's not safe out there.. 226 00:15:25,620 --> 00:15:26,758 I need to radio for back up! 227 00:15:27,620 --> 00:15:28,379 Doctor! 228 00:15:29,517 --> 00:15:31,586 How many of those things are out there? 229 00:15:32,448 --> 00:15:36,620 Thirty! Well... twenty-nine now! 230 00:15:37,344 --> 00:15:37,896 This is Sheriff Blake! 231 00:15:39,758 --> 00:15:41,620 I'm in a house on Mulberry Street and we're in need of assistance! 232 00:15:42,344 --> 00:15:43,448 [radio] You OK Sheriff? 233 00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:46,103 Can someone please help me?! 234 00:15:48,620 --> 00:15:51,517 We have one wounded a big problem on our hands! Send a squad car and an ambulance immediately! 235 00:15:52,655 --> 00:15:54,206 There's a first aid kit in the W.C. 236 00:15:54,827 --> 00:15:55,172 I-I'll get it! 237 00:15:55,931 --> 00:15:56,896 I'm coming with you! 238 00:15:58,034 --> 00:15:58,931 Watch your step... these are new shoes! 239 00:15:59,379 --> 00:16:01,517 Ew.. 240 00:16:01,517 --> 00:16:04,551 [radio] The ambulance is in Springville assisting in a house fire! I'll head over to you now! 241 00:16:05,413 --> 00:16:06,000 [radio] What's the address? 242 00:16:06,758 --> 00:16:07,241 What's your address? 243 00:16:08,172 --> 00:16:10,620 Three-eight-zero Mulberry Street. 244 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:14,758 Three-eighty Mulberry Street. Did you say Springville? 245 00:16:16,172 --> 00:16:18,275 That's two hours away! Don't they have their own ambulance? 246 00:16:19,655 --> 00:16:22,000 [radio] No! Blake! What's going on out there? 247 00:16:22,758 --> 00:16:23,931 I'm not sure, I think... 248 00:16:25,448 --> 00:16:27,413 I think it might be KILLER SHREWS!! 249 00:16:27,413 --> 00:16:29,517 [dun dun DUNNN!] 250 00:16:29,517 --> 00:16:31,965 [radio] Haha OK! Wayne out! 251 00:16:33,448 --> 00:16:36,137 How many officers do you have, Sheriff? 252 00:16:37,586 --> 00:16:39,586 Well it's just me and Wayne on the clock right now... 253 00:16:40,448 --> 00:16:43,241 He IS my deputy, AND my cousin! 254 00:16:44,689 --> 00:16:47,896 Two officers! You're going to need more than that! 255 00:16:49,275 --> 00:16:53,103 You're telling me- EW! Your wounds are all....goopy! 256 00:16:54,620 --> 00:16:55,827 Which one? 257 00:16:56,551 --> 00:16:57,551 The one on your neck! 258 00:16:58,379 --> 00:17:00,103 It's really gross! 259 00:17:02,206 --> 00:17:04,517 Lewis is on his way with the first-aid kit! 260 00:17:05,482 --> 00:17:07,448 Oh.. THAT'S good! 261 00:17:08,310 --> 00:17:09,862 [disgusting weasel farts] 262 00:17:10,448 --> 00:17:11,724 [poop noises] 263 00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:13,448 This is terrible.. 264 00:17:14,551 --> 00:17:15,620 I know! Those things are so scary! 265 00:17:16,793 --> 00:17:21,620 No, this book. This book is terrible. 266 00:17:23,724 --> 00:17:25,241 Then why do you represent him? 267 00:17:27,793 --> 00:17:30,655 Because he's rich... in fact, this whole shrew thing just might make it easier for us to find his safe.. 268 00:17:31,965 --> 00:17:33,275 I think we should just forget the whole thing. 269 00:17:33,896 --> 00:17:34,931 Nonsense! 270 00:17:36,517 --> 00:17:40,620 All we have to do.... is sneak away... open the safe, grab it and go! 271 00:17:41,586 --> 00:17:42,896 [horrific farting] 272 00:17:44,275 --> 00:17:45,758 You should light a candle or something... that smells awful! 273 00:17:48,344 --> 00:17:49,931 It was the casserole... 274 00:17:51,344 --> 00:17:52,827 I love the one where you use the snake to swing from the cliff! 275 00:17:53,689 --> 00:17:54,965 That was Return to Ape Island! 276 00:17:55,689 --> 00:17:56,172 Wow! 277 00:17:56,793 --> 00:17:57,448 Fiona Rae! 278 00:17:58,620 --> 00:18:01,620 I knew I recognized you from somewhere! Say.. 279 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:04,103 ..can I have your autograph when this is all said and done? 280 00:18:04,724 --> 00:18:05,758 Sure! Why not? 281 00:18:07,310 --> 00:18:08,862 Here you go Professor. 282 00:18:13,275 --> 00:18:17,310 So doc, why were you really messing with those shrews? 283 00:18:18,862 --> 00:18:20,379 [weakly] I told you... 284 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:26,379 I was trying to create a cure for rabies... 285 00:18:27,241 --> 00:18:28,965 But HOW did they turn into THAT? 286 00:18:30,241 --> 00:18:33,586 Something went wrong....OBVIOUSLY! 287 00:18:34,827 --> 00:18:36,931 I...I have to make an emergency phone call. 288 00:18:37,793 --> 00:18:39,517 Use the phone in the study. 289 00:18:41,448 --> 00:18:44,413 Those things are probably miles away by now. 290 00:18:46,344 --> 00:18:50,241 Doubtful! Those are predatory animals! They will go where the prey is! 291 00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:54,241 What? You mean US?! 292 00:18:56,103 --> 00:18:59,551 Yes! They've tasted blood... when they killed my lab assistant... 293 00:19:00,482 --> 00:19:03,310 I have to go, I can't stay here! 294 00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:06,517 You can't go! It's too dangerous out there! 295 00:19:08,517 --> 00:19:11,413 But you don't understand! I have to be on set tomorrow morning, I have a very early call time! 296 00:19:11,413 --> 00:19:14,517 OK. Once the tow truck arrives, I'll escort you. 297 00:19:14,517 --> 00:19:17,206 They're not coming. No one answered the phone! 298 00:19:18,068 --> 00:19:20,206 Well where do you have to go? 299 00:19:20,206 --> 00:19:24,034 Franklinville? I was only supposed to be in town for one day! I have to leave! 300 00:19:25,551 --> 00:19:28,241 Well, once Wayne gets here I'll take you. 301 00:19:28,241 --> 00:19:30,000 No I would prefer to leave now! 302 00:19:31,206 --> 00:19:33,551 We're not going anywhere 'til my backup arrives. 303 00:19:36,379 --> 00:19:38,206 How are you gonna get in without the combination? 304 00:19:38,965 --> 00:19:39,620 I'll think of something. 305 00:19:40,344 --> 00:19:40,482 [creepy sliding noise] 306 00:19:42,379 --> 00:19:43,586 Did you hear something? 307 00:19:44,793 --> 00:19:46,448 Do you think they got in the house? 308 00:19:47,586 --> 00:19:48,724 Come on! Let's go back with the others! 309 00:19:50,172 --> 00:19:51,310 You go on ahead. I'm not leaving 'til I've gotten into the safe. 310 00:19:51,793 --> 00:19:52,137 Lewis! 311 00:19:52,620 --> 00:19:53,034 Go on! 312 00:19:55,551 --> 00:19:57,310 [parlor music continues] 313 00:19:58,965 --> 00:20:02,586 This man is going into shock! We've got to get him to a hospital! 314 00:20:02,586 --> 00:20:03,137 [gurgling] 315 00:20:03,896 --> 00:20:04,137 What's wrong with him? 316 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:08,000 [stammering] 317 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:09,689 BLEEDING! 318 00:20:15,241 --> 00:20:16,862 [ominous music begins] 319 00:20:20,310 --> 00:20:22,137 That's Wayne! We're saved! 320 00:20:23,724 --> 00:20:25,137 Wayne! Come in Wayne! 321 00:20:27,241 --> 00:20:28,448 I'm here Sheriff! 322 00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:30,931 Wayne you listen to me and you listen to me carefully! 323 00:20:32,379 --> 00:20:33,620 We have a man down who is in need of medical assistance! 324 00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:37,517 Be careful getting out of your vehicle! There are monstrous 325 00:20:38,620 --> 00:20:39,931 KILLER SHREWS! 326 00:20:40,689 --> 00:20:41,689 All over the grounds! 327 00:20:42,586 --> 00:20:44,172 Yea, ok Sheriff. Killer shrews! 328 00:20:48,551 --> 00:20:52,896 [monstrous growling] 329 00:20:56,758 --> 00:20:57,793 [shrew noises] 330 00:20:58,482 --> 00:20:59,448 [zap zap zap!] 331 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:03,517 [BLAM!] 332 00:21:04,103 --> 00:21:07,137 [gunshots] 333 00:21:08,517 --> 00:21:09,724 That's my cousin! 334 00:21:10,310 --> 00:21:11,034 Did it getcha?! 335 00:21:12,206 --> 00:21:13,000 It took a chunk off my damn ear!!! 336 00:21:14,103 --> 00:21:15,448 We gotta get everybody to the hospital! 337 00:21:16,620 --> 00:21:18,724 ...but we can only take one of you! 338 00:21:20,344 --> 00:21:20,862 You go! 339 00:21:22,620 --> 00:21:23,931 Thank you Charles. 340 00:21:25,344 --> 00:21:26,241 Perry you cover us while we get the doc to the car! 341 00:21:26,241 --> 00:21:27,206 Aye! 342 00:21:33,620 --> 00:21:34,931 [bloody gurgling] 343 00:21:36,137 --> 00:21:39,758 [ominous music intensifies] 344 00:21:50,862 --> 00:21:52,137 Good luck, my dear! 345 00:21:52,931 --> 00:21:54,206 Be safe, Professor! 346 00:21:56,310 --> 00:21:58,310 Let's get the Hell outta here! 347 00:21:59,482 --> 00:22:00,931 Wait for help to arrive! We'll be back soon! 348 00:22:01,827 --> 00:22:02,862 [shrew noises] 349 00:22:06,655 --> 00:22:07,793 [shotgun blast] 350 00:22:10,448 --> 00:22:12,206 [growling, shrew noises] 351 00:22:16,103 --> 00:22:17,206 [shotgun blast] 352 00:22:17,827 --> 00:22:20,655 [whimpering] 353 00:22:23,275 --> 00:22:24,241 Where's Lewis? 354 00:22:25,310 --> 00:22:27,448 He's in the study...did they leave us?! 355 00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:32,344 They're sending help. We just need to... sit tight... 356 00:22:33,517 --> 00:22:35,931 I can't take this! Hold me professor!! 357 00:22:36,517 --> 00:22:38,172 [whimpering] 358 00:22:42,689 --> 00:22:43,724 [shrew noises] 359 00:22:44,896 --> 00:22:45,379 Hello? 360 00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:47,103 Is anyone there? 361 00:22:53,103 --> 00:22:54,137 [shrew noises] 362 00:22:56,034 --> 00:22:57,655 Cassandra? Is that you? 363 00:23:02,586 --> 00:23:03,620 [shrew noises] 364 00:23:05,586 --> 00:23:08,137 Oh I hope it's not one of those shrews! 365 00:23:10,448 --> 00:23:11,827 [foreboding music] 366 00:23:13,137 --> 00:23:13,724 Got it.. 367 00:23:14,310 --> 00:23:15,000 [intense crash!] 368 00:23:15,586 --> 00:23:20,000 AHHHHHHHHH! 369 00:23:21,137 --> 00:23:21,655 [shrew noises] 370 00:23:22,862 --> 00:23:26,586 Ahhh! There's a killer shrew in the house!!! 371 00:23:27,034 --> 00:23:27,413 [thud] 372 00:23:28,137 --> 00:23:29,241 Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! 373 00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:33,310 AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! 374 00:23:35,965 --> 00:23:37,344 [screaming] 375 00:23:38,068 --> 00:23:39,000 EAAAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!! 376 00:23:39,793 --> 00:23:42,517 [screaming] 377 00:23:43,241 --> 00:23:44,103 [growling, shrew noises] 378 00:23:44,103 --> 00:23:45,793 AHHHHHH!!!!!! 379 00:23:46,379 --> 00:23:47,103 [growling] 380 00:23:48,241 --> 00:23:49,862 AHHHHHHH!! 381 00:23:50,586 --> 00:23:52,000 [roaring, shrew noises] 382 00:23:53,206 --> 00:23:55,827 AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! 383 00:23:56,448 --> 00:23:57,103 [growling] 384 00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,103 [screaming, shrew noises] 385 00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:03,034 Confound it Lewis! Keep still! 386 00:24:03,655 --> 00:24:04,103 [screaming] 387 00:24:05,344 --> 00:24:05,965 [shotgun blast, glass breaks] 388 00:24:07,137 --> 00:24:07,862 [screaming, roaring] 389 00:24:08,448 --> 00:24:08,586 [shotgun cocks] 390 00:24:11,965 --> 00:24:12,517 [click] 391 00:24:13,103 --> 00:24:13,965 AHHHHHH!!!! 392 00:24:14,689 --> 00:24:16,206 Keep 'em occupied Lewis! 393 00:24:17,413 --> 00:24:18,275 [screaming] 394 00:24:19,034 --> 00:24:20,241 AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! 395 00:24:21,206 --> 00:24:22,862 [animal grunts] 396 00:24:24,034 --> 00:24:28,551 AHHHH! It's humping meeee!! AHHHHH!!!!! 397 00:24:32,448 --> 00:24:34,000 [goofy musical score] 398 00:24:35,551 --> 00:24:37,068 [score ends abruptly] 399 00:24:42,931 --> 00:24:43,724 [rustling] 400 00:24:52,448 --> 00:24:55,517 [whispering] What the fuck IS that...? 401 00:24:57,931 --> 00:25:02,931 [screaming, shrew noises] 402 00:25:16,275 --> 00:25:17,241 [lock clicks] 403 00:25:25,862 --> 00:25:28,896 [low rumbling score] 404 00:25:30,344 --> 00:25:31,000 [huge crash] 405 00:25:31,620 --> 00:25:32,827 Eeeeee!!! 406 00:25:33,517 --> 00:25:34,137 [grunts] 407 00:25:35,620 --> 00:25:36,655 [score builds] 408 00:25:37,862 --> 00:25:38,344 God!! 409 00:25:39,862 --> 00:25:40,344 Ugh! 410 00:25:42,379 --> 00:25:43,827 [score intensifies] 411 00:25:49,689 --> 00:25:54,034 Ahh! Good shrew! You don't want to eat me! 412 00:25:55,413 --> 00:25:59,413 I'm just a literary agent! I'm all pudgy ahhh! 413 00:26:00,896 --> 00:26:01,931 [shrew noises] 414 00:26:05,137 --> 00:26:06,758 [shotgun blast, splat] 415 00:26:07,827 --> 00:26:09,000 [score finishes] 416 00:26:10,724 --> 00:26:12,310 [Lewis gasping for air] 417 00:26:15,448 --> 00:26:17,310 Lewis, put some trousers on! 418 00:26:18,206 --> 00:26:22,310 EEEEEEEEEYAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! 419 00:26:22,931 --> 00:26:23,379 [roaring] 420 00:26:25,862 --> 00:26:27,517 [shotgun blast, squeak] 421 00:26:31,655 --> 00:26:32,206 My dear! 422 00:26:45,965 --> 00:26:48,344 We gotta go. We gotta get outta here! 423 00:26:51,655 --> 00:26:54,344 I wonder how they got in... 424 00:26:55,862 --> 00:26:56,655 The window! 425 00:26:57,965 --> 00:26:59,137 [fun music plays] 426 00:27:02,241 --> 00:27:05,275 What the fuck IS THAT THING?! [cocks shotgun] 427 00:27:06,034 --> 00:27:06,862 [fun music] 428 00:27:11,034 --> 00:27:11,758 [KABLAM!] 429 00:27:23,206 --> 00:27:23,862 Let's go! 430 00:27:28,413 --> 00:27:31,137 [fun music transitions to spooky score] 431 00:27:33,551 --> 00:27:37,448 We're not safe here! Murdock said that they'd be hunting us and that's exactly what they are doing! 432 00:27:39,310 --> 00:27:39,827 [shrew noises] 433 00:27:40,448 --> 00:27:41,103 [shotgun blast] 434 00:27:44,517 --> 00:27:45,655 [shotgun blast] 435 00:27:46,827 --> 00:27:47,379 Come on! 436 00:28:00,103 --> 00:28:00,965 [door slams] 437 00:28:02,034 --> 00:28:03,137 [engine starts] 438 00:28:08,517 --> 00:28:11,655 [tires squealing] 439 00:28:14,758 --> 00:28:16,206 [siren] 440 00:28:26,413 --> 00:28:26,931 Ew.. 441 00:28:29,172 --> 00:28:32,206 We're almost there! You're gonna make it doc! 442 00:28:33,862 --> 00:28:36,620 We need to go back and get my ear! Maybe they can sew it back on! 443 00:28:37,827 --> 00:28:39,931 We're gonna get you a new ear! A better ear! 444 00:28:40,793 --> 00:28:42,758 Yea well I want my ear damn it! 445 00:28:44,034 --> 00:28:45,586 Well you-LOOKOUT!!!! 446 00:28:48,310 --> 00:28:49,172 [screaming] 447 00:28:49,172 --> 00:28:50,620 [tires screech] [thud SPLAT] 448 00:28:52,034 --> 00:28:52,965 [screaming] 449 00:28:53,689 --> 00:28:54,034 [tires screeching] 450 00:28:54,655 --> 00:28:55,000 [loud CRASH] 451 00:28:55,586 --> 00:28:57,517 [metal crashing] 452 00:28:58,103 --> 00:28:59,206 [steam hissing] 453 00:29:08,137 --> 00:29:08,965 [body thud] 454 00:29:10,827 --> 00:29:11,620 Sheriff... 455 00:29:12,206 --> 00:29:13,275 Are you alright? 456 00:29:14,931 --> 00:29:18,655 I think so... I've done stunts before.. 457 00:29:18,655 --> 00:29:20,344 Oooh...Wayne! 458 00:29:20,931 --> 00:29:21,482 Wayne!! 459 00:29:22,068 --> 00:29:23,793 Aw shit! Wayne! 460 00:29:24,482 --> 00:29:26,137 Awww shit nooo! 461 00:29:26,620 --> 00:29:27,413 Do CPR! 462 00:29:27,413 --> 00:29:29,103 I don't know CPR!! 463 00:29:29,862 --> 00:29:32,310 Aww shit! Wayne! Aww.. 464 00:29:32,310 --> 00:29:33,551 The doctor's body is gone! 465 00:29:34,724 --> 00:29:35,862 It musta got thrown during the crash! 466 00:29:37,827 --> 00:29:41,206 Aw shit! Wayne's dead! I'm gonna lose my badge! Killer shrews all over the place! Aww shit! 467 00:29:43,724 --> 00:29:48,344 Alright alright! Calm down. You are gonna get it together and you're going to take me to Franklinville! 468 00:29:50,551 --> 00:29:54,206 Alright, we need to radio the town... where's my radio? 469 00:29:55,758 --> 00:29:57,241 My radio's gone?!? 470 00:29:58,103 --> 00:30:00,034 Goddamnit! Jesus! Look oh man! 471 00:30:00,034 --> 00:30:02,137 I paid fifteen dollars for that thing! 472 00:30:02,137 --> 00:30:05,379 Look at this shit!! It's gonna come outta my pay!! 473 00:30:06,241 --> 00:30:08,310 Oh my God what the Hell is goin- 474 00:30:09,517 --> 00:30:10,827 ...I bumped my head off the dashboard... 475 00:30:11,344 --> 00:30:11,862 Wayne!? 476 00:30:13,068 --> 00:30:14,689 I think I saw his eyes blink! 477 00:30:15,275 --> 00:30:16,137 No, he's dead. 478 00:30:17,655 --> 00:30:19,655 Well my hat's at least is here! 479 00:30:21,448 --> 00:30:26,448 Aww Wayne come on.... aw we're just gonna have to walk... 480 00:30:29,827 --> 00:30:30,620 [crickets] 481 00:30:33,586 --> 00:30:34,551 [scary theme] 482 00:30:37,103 --> 00:30:40,310 [evil laughing] 483 00:30:48,103 --> 00:30:48,827 [traffic] 484 00:30:51,724 --> 00:30:52,758 [upbeat tempo] 485 00:31:12,241 --> 00:31:14,413 Hey look what the cat dragged in! 486 00:31:15,586 --> 00:31:17,379 Wife finally let you out the house huh? 487 00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:18,827 Can't complain. 488 00:31:19,724 --> 00:31:21,241 Sit your old ass down. 489 00:31:22,689 --> 00:31:25,000 You know when I was a young man, I woulda kicked your ass! 490 00:31:25,724 --> 00:31:27,482 Yea... right sir! 491 00:31:29,655 --> 00:31:33,068 So we gonna buff the top or we're gonna give you a cut? 492 00:31:35,137 --> 00:31:36,379 OK just the cut! 493 00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:39,310 You know what [breathing] 494 00:31:39,931 --> 00:31:41,827 [squeaks] 495 00:31:42,586 --> 00:31:43,758 That one's on the house! 496 00:31:44,241 --> 00:31:44,620 Thanks.. 497 00:31:46,413 --> 00:31:47,620 So how's the kids? 498 00:31:48,241 --> 00:31:48,379 Kids are good.. 499 00:31:50,655 --> 00:31:54,344 I see that you've been drinking a lot lately? 500 00:31:55,793 --> 00:31:57,551 Well you know, sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do. 501 00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:00,620 [diner music, chatter] 502 00:32:02,551 --> 00:32:06,586 [off screen] Hey Ted, I'm just hanging out... you still rubbing your belly button? 503 00:32:13,827 --> 00:32:14,310 Ted. 504 00:32:14,793 --> 00:32:15,103 Martin. 505 00:32:19,965 --> 00:32:20,931 [phone beeps] 506 00:32:24,517 --> 00:32:25,000 Hello. 507 00:32:26,103 --> 00:32:29,655 This is Sheriff Blake... no, the OTHER one. 508 00:32:30,586 --> 00:32:31,965 Yea, I'm out in Franklinville... 509 00:32:33,310 --> 00:32:35,034 There's been a major accident out on Route 33. 510 00:32:36,379 --> 00:32:39,344 Yea there's two casualties, one is my deputy... 511 00:32:39,344 --> 00:32:41,103 ..who IS my COUSIN.. 512 00:32:42,620 --> 00:32:44,620 Yea I'm at the Sunshine Cafe. 513 00:32:45,724 --> 00:32:48,206 Yea alright I'll be here...bye! 514 00:32:48,862 --> 00:32:49,379 [hangs up] 515 00:32:50,896 --> 00:32:53,655 [really stupid restaurant chatter in the background] 516 00:32:55,103 --> 00:32:57,931 [the sound of people enjoying breakfast in the afternoon] 517 00:32:59,551 --> 00:33:00,827 Did you tell them about the shrews? 518 00:33:01,689 --> 00:33:03,103 Do ya think they'd believe me? 519 00:33:04,310 --> 00:33:05,862 Can I start you guys off with something to drink? 520 00:33:06,448 --> 00:33:06,965 Water, please! 521 00:33:07,551 --> 00:33:08,517 [weakly] Water. 522 00:33:11,965 --> 00:33:13,827 I've missed my call time! 523 00:33:14,551 --> 00:33:16,000 I have to call my agent. 524 00:33:20,068 --> 00:33:20,724 Uh huh... 525 00:33:22,758 --> 00:33:26,206 Yeah baby... naw I'm telling you when you get out of jail we're gonna have some real good times! 526 00:33:26,206 --> 00:33:27,482 Excuse me! 527 00:33:28,965 --> 00:33:30,965 Hold on baby, someone's trying to talk to me... what is it?? 528 00:33:32,137 --> 00:33:34,137 Sir, I need to make an emergency phone call! 529 00:33:34,137 --> 00:33:38,517 Listen, this one's in use. Why don't you go use the barbershop across the street alright? 530 00:33:40,551 --> 00:33:41,137 [sarcastically] Thanks... 531 00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:47,379 I have to go across the street to make a phone call.. 532 00:33:47,379 --> 00:33:48,586 OK. What do you want? 533 00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:51,241 Eggs and toast. 534 00:33:52,862 --> 00:33:56,379 [yelling] Can I get some eggs and toast please? And where's my water?! 535 00:33:57,965 --> 00:33:58,689 [traffic] 536 00:34:03,448 --> 00:34:08,448 You know man? I can see myself in your head! That thing really shiny! Hello!! 537 00:34:11,344 --> 00:34:13,137 Fuck you, King Kong! 538 00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:16,034 May I please use your phone?! Ya sure, right there. 539 00:34:16,655 --> 00:34:17,275 Thank you! 540 00:34:19,620 --> 00:34:20,275 [boop boop boop] 541 00:34:20,275 --> 00:34:20,620 [boop boop] 542 00:34:21,206 --> 00:34:21,344 [boop boop] 543 00:34:22,413 --> 00:34:23,448 [truck engine] 544 00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:30,379 [engine squealing] 545 00:34:33,103 --> 00:34:34,310 [truck shuts off] 546 00:34:36,724 --> 00:34:37,517 [door slam] 547 00:34:38,310 --> 00:34:39,689 [another door slams] 548 00:34:41,103 --> 00:34:41,586 [another door slams damn they really like slamming doors huh?] 549 00:34:42,448 --> 00:34:43,862 Looks like there's nobody here! 550 00:34:45,379 --> 00:34:46,000 Helloo!? 551 00:34:48,551 --> 00:34:52,241 Our truck broke down! We're out of gas! 552 00:34:53,620 --> 00:34:55,724 I don't like this, I'm going back in. 553 00:34:56,310 --> 00:34:56,862 Cassandra.. 554 00:34:57,689 --> 00:34:58,827 [mysterious soundtrack] 555 00:35:00,103 --> 00:35:02,758 Helloooooooooo?! 556 00:35:05,517 --> 00:35:06,827 [another slam come on seriously? do you want the shrews to know where you are?] 557 00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:09,000 Find a gas can Lewis and meet me back here! 558 00:35:09,827 --> 00:35:10,310 OK. 559 00:35:12,724 --> 00:35:13,344 [too late] 560 00:35:17,310 --> 00:35:18,344 [wind blowing] 561 00:35:21,379 --> 00:35:22,344 [spooky tune] 562 00:35:30,344 --> 00:35:31,793 This place is a dump.. 563 00:35:36,758 --> 00:35:37,896 [spooky spooky] 564 00:35:46,413 --> 00:35:48,241 Hellooooo? 565 00:35:49,206 --> 00:35:49,931 Who's there? 566 00:35:50,379 --> 00:35:50,793 Ah! 567 00:35:51,689 --> 00:35:52,655 [stammering] 568 00:35:53,517 --> 00:35:55,000 We've run out of fuel.. 569 00:35:55,689 --> 00:35:57,758 [stammering] 570 00:35:57,758 --> 00:36:01,379 Have no concern, I'm a man of considerable academic and intellectual achievements! 571 00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:07,344 [Scottish accent] Oh yea! Well you just look like a man who's run out of gas to me, and ain't no gas here.. 572 00:36:08,275 --> 00:36:08,965 ..move on! 573 00:36:11,931 --> 00:36:16,931 [stammering] But it's an emergency! We've been attacked by wild animals! One of us has been injured! 574 00:36:20,068 --> 00:36:22,034 What kind of wild animals? 575 00:36:22,724 --> 00:36:23,655 Shrews.. 576 00:36:24,862 --> 00:36:26,206 KILLER SHREWS! 577 00:36:26,206 --> 00:36:27,620 [dun dun DUNNN!] 578 00:36:27,620 --> 00:36:30,000 So you're the ones that brought them devils around here! 579 00:36:30,724 --> 00:36:31,379 How could that be? 580 00:36:32,793 --> 00:36:36,000 Look out the window son. Ya gotta be blind not to see them! 581 00:36:39,448 --> 00:36:40,655 Cassandra! 582 00:36:44,310 --> 00:36:46,034 Damn killer shrews! 583 00:36:48,655 --> 00:36:49,344 [snoring] 584 00:37:01,206 --> 00:37:02,000 Errrmmmm.. 585 00:37:05,965 --> 00:37:07,137 Oh Jesus! 586 00:37:07,896 --> 00:37:08,137 [dramatic music!] 587 00:37:10,241 --> 00:37:10,758 Arrr! 588 00:37:15,241 --> 00:37:16,275 [shrew noises] 589 00:37:17,137 --> 00:37:18,827 Thank you Simon! Thank you! 590 00:37:21,275 --> 00:37:24,827 I'll await the cab. Tah-tah! 591 00:37:25,862 --> 00:37:26,551 [hangs up] 592 00:37:29,103 --> 00:37:32,862 Darrr!!! Derrrrr! Deeeerr duhduhduhduhduh! 593 00:37:33,724 --> 00:37:34,965 Daaahhh errrreeeaaaaaaahhhhhh!!! 594 00:37:35,551 --> 00:37:36,689 [shrew noises] 595 00:37:37,413 --> 00:37:38,655 Huminna Hummina!! 596 00:37:38,655 --> 00:37:39,448 [together] What the fuck is that?! 597 00:37:40,034 --> 00:37:41,000 [snorting] 598 00:37:42,103 --> 00:37:44,103 Derrpppppp derrrrrrr ayyyyeeeee!!!! Derrrrrrrrr!!! 599 00:37:44,103 --> 00:37:45,862 [snip! squish!] Ahhhh!!!! Sonofa! 600 00:37:45,862 --> 00:37:47,000 [loud and wet pooping noises] 601 00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:48,862 Oh the doo-doo butter dookie!! 602 00:37:48,862 --> 00:37:51,517 [shitting noises] 603 00:37:51,517 --> 00:37:54,379 [lots and lots of shit happening in that guy's pants] 604 00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:55,655 [shrew noises] 605 00:37:56,241 --> 00:37:57,551 [more shit] 606 00:37:58,724 --> 00:37:59,724 That thing doesn't look friendly!! 607 00:38:00,517 --> 00:38:01,758 Somebody kill that shit! 608 00:38:04,551 --> 00:38:07,620 This is a tasty glass of water! 609 00:38:11,034 --> 00:38:13,655 [doo wop] 610 00:38:18,034 --> 00:38:19,896 [it's OK to get up and dance] 611 00:38:23,517 --> 00:38:27,931 Seymour! You keep dropping crumbs all over the floor, we're gonna get rats! 612 00:38:29,793 --> 00:38:32,827 Did you hear what I said? Pick up your crumbs or we're gonna get.. 613 00:38:33,413 --> 00:38:34,241 [shrew noises] 614 00:38:35,413 --> 00:38:36,034 ..rats! 615 00:38:36,827 --> 00:38:38,103 [loud growling] 616 00:38:38,103 --> 00:38:40,310 [screaming] 617 00:38:42,034 --> 00:38:44,275 [screaming, monstrous roaring] 618 00:38:46,206 --> 00:38:47,482 [heavy breathing] 619 00:38:48,517 --> 00:38:53,517 [screaming] 620 00:38:56,034 --> 00:38:57,068 [shrew noises] 621 00:38:57,689 --> 00:38:58,620 [roaring] 622 00:38:59,482 --> 00:39:00,241 [snap!] 623 00:39:00,862 --> 00:39:02,310 [roaring] 624 00:39:02,931 --> 00:39:03,413 [thud squeak!] 625 00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:06,137 [thud squeak!] [thud squeak!] 626 00:39:06,137 --> 00:39:07,689 [thud squeak!] [thud squeak!] [thud squeak!] 627 00:39:07,689 --> 00:39:07,827 [thud squeak!] [thud squeak!] [thud squeak!] [thud squeak!] 628 00:39:08,413 --> 00:39:08,551 [roaring] 629 00:39:10,965 --> 00:39:12,413 [thud squeak!] [thud squeak!] [thud squeak!] [thud squeak!] [thud squeak!] [thud squeak!] [thud squeak!] 630 00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:14,034 [thud squeak!] [thud squeak!] 631 00:39:14,931 --> 00:39:15,034 [thud squeak!] [thud squeak!] 632 00:39:18,137 --> 00:39:19,206 [thud squeak!] 633 00:39:24,862 --> 00:39:26,344 Do you have a back door? 634 00:39:27,862 --> 00:39:28,655 Thank you.. 635 00:39:35,793 --> 00:39:37,379 That's a bad bitch! 636 00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:41,275 What's the matter? 637 00:39:42,103 --> 00:39:42,620 Come on! 638 00:39:44,896 --> 00:39:45,413 [shrew noises] 639 00:39:46,620 --> 00:39:49,034 How do you use this fucking thing?! 640 00:39:50,551 --> 00:39:55,551 Lewis I think your darling is about to become shrew chow! 641 00:39:56,827 --> 00:39:59,413 I'll distract them, you get Cassie! 642 00:39:59,413 --> 00:40:01,137 How do you expect to do that? 643 00:40:02,827 --> 00:40:03,724 GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE!! 644 00:40:04,827 --> 00:40:06,827 Are you out of your fucking mind?! 645 00:40:07,551 --> 00:40:08,310 AHHHHHH!!! [roaring] 646 00:40:08,931 --> 00:40:09,034 [fun theme song] 647 00:40:09,655 --> 00:40:10,448 [screaming] 648 00:40:10,448 --> 00:40:12,586 [screaming, roaring] 649 00:40:14,448 --> 00:40:19,448 [screaming, roaring] 650 00:40:22,965 --> 00:40:25,206 [roaring] 651 00:40:25,965 --> 00:40:27,000 [shrew noises] 652 00:40:28,413 --> 00:40:29,448 [roaring] 653 00:40:30,620 --> 00:40:34,758 It's humping me again!!!! Stop it! 654 00:40:38,862 --> 00:40:39,482 [thump!] 655 00:40:42,655 --> 00:40:44,827 I'm here to save you! 656 00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:51,413 Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! 657 00:40:52,034 --> 00:40:53,413 [roaring] Graaaahhh!! 658 00:40:54,896 --> 00:40:55,448 [bang!] 659 00:40:57,413 --> 00:40:58,965 I hate shrews. 660 00:40:59,724 --> 00:41:01,034 [fun theme continues] 661 00:41:02,103 --> 00:41:04,206 Come on! Hop in! 662 00:41:09,241 --> 00:41:10,758 [door slam] Where's Lewis?? 663 00:41:11,620 --> 00:41:13,827 He's creating a distraction! 664 00:41:15,172 --> 00:41:16,379 [engine roars to life] 665 00:41:16,379 --> 00:41:18,620 Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! 666 00:41:18,620 --> 00:41:19,965 [roaring] 667 00:41:20,931 --> 00:41:22,482 Ahhhh!!!!! 668 00:41:24,586 --> 00:41:26,103 Ahhhhhh! 669 00:41:33,034 --> 00:41:34,310 Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!! 670 00:41:37,275 --> 00:41:42,275 AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Oh my God!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! 671 00:41:45,448 --> 00:41:46,137 [roaring] 672 00:41:47,241 --> 00:41:48,034 [KA-BLAM!] 673 00:41:49,517 --> 00:41:52,310 Damn girl! You got crazy written all over ya haha! 674 00:41:53,827 --> 00:41:55,724 [whining] 675 00:42:06,620 --> 00:42:08,448 [engine sputtering, dies] 676 00:42:09,931 --> 00:42:11,689 Oh....right right right.. 677 00:42:12,724 --> 00:42:13,758 [shrew noises] 678 00:42:16,862 --> 00:42:17,655 [growling] 679 00:42:18,931 --> 00:42:19,482 [BLAM!] 680 00:42:20,241 --> 00:42:21,310 [roaring ferociously] [BLAM!] 681 00:42:22,241 --> 00:42:22,827 [BLAM!] 682 00:42:23,275 --> 00:42:23,517 [BLAM!] 683 00:42:24,586 --> 00:42:25,448 [KA-BLAM!] Woo-hoo! 684 00:42:26,551 --> 00:42:26,689 Ya ugly shrew bastards! [gunshots] 685 00:42:27,413 --> 00:42:27,758 [gunshots] Look at that! 686 00:42:28,620 --> 00:42:29,344 Look at that motherfucker! 687 00:42:29,344 --> 00:42:30,000 [gunshots] 688 00:42:33,896 --> 00:42:35,724 Oh! I thought you were dead! 689 00:42:35,724 --> 00:42:37,241 We gotta call the national guard! 690 00:42:38,379 --> 00:42:40,482 Oh I hope the others got out alright! 691 00:42:40,482 --> 00:42:42,137 Well they all ran all over the place, one lady got hit by an ice cream truck! 692 00:42:42,896 --> 00:42:44,310 I meant the professor! 693 00:42:45,482 --> 00:42:47,793 Yea me too. Let's get out of here! 694 00:42:55,862 --> 00:42:58,655 Come on, this way will take us back to town! 695 00:42:59,827 --> 00:43:00,965 Are you sure the road won't be quicker? 696 00:43:03,241 --> 00:43:05,241 Those things are everywhere! 697 00:43:06,379 --> 00:43:08,034 I'm so frightened! Hold me Lewis! 698 00:43:09,724 --> 00:43:11,241 We're being followed! 699 00:43:12,206 --> 00:43:12,862 You go 700 00:43:13,655 --> 00:43:14,793 Not without you! 701 00:43:15,965 --> 00:43:17,206 I'm staying, so that you can go.. 702 00:43:18,275 --> 00:43:20,206 ..if you go, then... I can stay.. 703 00:43:21,068 --> 00:43:23,137 ..but if you stay, I'll stay... 704 00:43:24,724 --> 00:43:28,517 ..and if you go, then I can stay, and I'll stay so that you can go! 705 00:43:30,241 --> 00:43:31,620 Thank you, Charles! 706 00:43:34,103 --> 00:43:39,103 I've got a score to settle with some shrews, and I've got a pocket full of shells! 707 00:43:42,034 --> 00:43:43,068 He's so valiant! 708 00:43:43,551 --> 00:43:43,793 I know. 709 00:43:44,655 --> 00:43:45,275 Why can't you be like that? 710 00:43:46,137 --> 00:43:47,206 I'm just a literary agent. 711 00:43:54,655 --> 00:43:57,482 [growling] 712 00:44:03,758 --> 00:44:04,241 Rawr! 713 00:44:06,482 --> 00:44:07,517 [shrew noises] 714 00:44:13,241 --> 00:44:14,862 What the Hell happened? 715 00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:17,724 Martin! 716 00:44:19,896 --> 00:44:20,724 Martin! 717 00:44:21,931 --> 00:44:23,448 I'm coming Martin! 718 00:44:25,965 --> 00:44:27,827 I'm coming Martin! 719 00:44:31,724 --> 00:44:33,379 [clunking and clanking] 720 00:44:39,655 --> 00:44:40,517 [puttering] 721 00:44:43,344 --> 00:44:44,724 [crash!] 722 00:44:45,344 --> 00:44:46,068 [beeping] 723 00:44:50,034 --> 00:44:51,000 Goddamnit! 724 00:45:03,344 --> 00:45:04,931 [engine rumbling] 725 00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:08,758 [action music] 726 00:45:09,344 --> 00:45:09,620 [shrew noises] 727 00:45:10,206 --> 00:45:10,551 [KA-BLAM!] 728 00:45:11,517 --> 00:45:12,551 [shrew noises] 729 00:45:13,655 --> 00:45:14,379 [roaring] 730 00:45:17,931 --> 00:45:18,413 Gah! 731 00:45:21,758 --> 00:45:22,310 [KA-BLAM!] 732 00:45:22,931 --> 00:45:23,137 Ha Ha Ha! 733 00:45:23,758 --> 00:45:24,379 [trumpets build] 734 00:45:25,620 --> 00:45:26,137 [BLAM!] 735 00:45:27,655 --> 00:45:30,827 Alright! Come on get it! Oh yes! [BLAM!] 736 00:45:31,448 --> 00:45:31,965 Oh yes! 737 00:45:32,689 --> 00:45:34,206 Come on then! Cooome on! 738 00:45:34,689 --> 00:45:35,206 [BLAM!] 739 00:45:37,827 --> 00:45:39,068 [trumpets blare!] 740 00:45:40,206 --> 00:45:41,172 [click click] 741 00:45:43,241 --> 00:45:45,241 [music builds, shrew noises] 742 00:45:55,310 --> 00:45:55,827 Uggh! 743 00:45:57,724 --> 00:46:01,827 Alriiight! Come on! Cooome ooon! 744 00:46:02,689 --> 00:46:03,931 I went to Julliard you know! 745 00:46:04,793 --> 00:46:07,137 Uh huh you didn't know that! 746 00:46:08,586 --> 00:46:11,034 I didn't always want to be a physicist philosopher! 747 00:46:12,517 --> 00:46:16,310 I wanted to be a dancer! I could have been a dancer! 748 00:46:18,517 --> 00:46:20,344 Let's dance! 749 00:46:20,827 --> 00:46:22,344 AHHH!! 750 00:46:22,965 --> 00:46:23,517 [shrew noises] 751 00:46:24,379 --> 00:46:24,586 [heavy drums, trumpets blare] 752 00:46:25,310 --> 00:46:26,793 [roaring, screaming] 753 00:46:30,172 --> 00:46:30,931 [roaring] 754 00:46:32,103 --> 00:46:33,000 [screaming] 755 00:46:41,034 --> 00:46:41,793 [roaring] 756 00:46:45,137 --> 00:46:46,103 Simon... 757 00:46:47,241 --> 00:46:49,068 Simon you can't be serious! 758 00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:53,827 When have I ever?? 759 00:46:54,758 --> 00:46:55,551 Simon! 760 00:46:58,068 --> 00:47:01,344 I am FIONA RAE, Simon! 761 00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:06,448 Hmpph! Well she's a hussy! 762 00:47:07,344 --> 00:47:08,034 [hangs up] 763 00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:13,827 I'm sorry you didn't make it to your film, it wasn't safe for you to be out there. 764 00:47:14,586 --> 00:47:15,724 They fired me... 765 00:47:16,655 --> 00:47:18,482 I've never been.....fired... 766 00:47:20,482 --> 00:47:24,000 Shiiiit! I've been fired from just about every job except this one! Ain't no big deal! 767 00:47:24,655 --> 00:47:25,379 [crash] 768 00:47:25,379 --> 00:47:25,896 Sheriff! 769 00:47:26,344 --> 00:47:26,965 Dewey! 770 00:47:27,620 --> 00:47:28,724 Damn it! 771 00:47:29,758 --> 00:47:30,862 You ok Sheriff? 772 00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:33,137 Who's been messing with my chair!!? 773 00:47:35,517 --> 00:47:36,551 I don't know! 774 00:47:37,137 --> 00:47:37,965 Damn it Dewey! 775 00:47:39,517 --> 00:47:41,482 We'll get that fixed for ya Sheriff! 776 00:47:42,413 --> 00:47:43,172 Get on it! 777 00:47:44,068 --> 00:47:45,310 Miss Rae! 778 00:47:46,517 --> 00:47:47,620 Dewey... 779 00:47:51,827 --> 00:47:52,551 Damn him.. 780 00:47:53,724 --> 00:47:55,965 Martin... what are we going to do? 781 00:47:55,965 --> 00:47:58,000 I'll tell ya what we're gonna do.. 782 00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:02,310 ..we're gonna sit here and wait for the cavalry to arrive, the mayor has ordered in the army. 783 00:48:03,310 --> 00:48:05,103 What until then? 784 00:48:07,655 --> 00:48:10,724 You're gonna drink your coffee...I'm gonna sit on my desk, and we're gonna get to know each other better. 785 00:48:15,758 --> 00:48:16,241 Sheriff! 786 00:48:16,724 --> 00:48:17,034 Dewey.. 787 00:48:19,068 --> 00:48:21,068 There's some big shot army guy out there who would like to have some words with you! 788 00:48:21,689 --> 00:48:22,206 Send him in. 789 00:48:22,724 --> 00:48:23,620 Yessir! 790 00:48:24,965 --> 00:48:26,034 Miss Rae..... 791 00:48:29,172 --> 00:48:30,241 Sorry about that... 792 00:48:30,241 --> 00:48:31,344 What is the hiring process- 793 00:48:33,586 --> 00:48:34,206 Cap'n! 794 00:48:34,931 --> 00:48:35,965 Sheriff Blake. 795 00:48:37,896 --> 00:48:41,344 Holy shit..... Fiona Rae! 796 00:48:43,310 --> 00:48:47,758 The wife and I just went to see "Tomb of the One-Eyed Weasel" last night, and we loved it! 797 00:48:49,793 --> 00:48:53,931 That scene... when you were hanging from the balcony...and the weasel was right there!!! 798 00:48:54,655 --> 00:48:55,413 Gave me the chills! 799 00:48:57,448 --> 00:49:01,379 Wow! You're more beautiful in person than you are on the screen! Fiona Rae... 800 00:49:06,137 --> 00:49:09,103 ..men, we are in the presence of greatness! 801 00:49:09,724 --> 00:49:09,862 [giggling] 802 00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:13,586 Cap'n.... the task at hand please.. 803 00:49:14,931 --> 00:49:17,586 This city is being invaded by killer shrews. 804 00:49:19,931 --> 00:49:21,344 Killer shrews? 805 00:49:22,724 --> 00:49:24,827 [together] KILLER SHREWS! 806 00:49:25,275 --> 00:49:26,551 Hahaha! 807 00:49:27,517 --> 00:49:29,793 Hahahahahaha! 808 00:49:31,793 --> 00:49:35,827 With all do respect, SIR, when you are done laughing, my deputy, who IS my COUSIN, is DEAD! 809 00:49:39,206 --> 00:49:40,379 Did the shrews kill him? 810 00:49:41,758 --> 00:49:44,068 It was a car accident...but it was shrew related! 811 00:49:45,275 --> 00:49:46,689 How do you expect me to believe all this? 812 00:49:46,689 --> 00:49:48,448 Because it's true! 813 00:49:49,896 --> 00:49:53,137 The Thing From Nantucket! Now that was a good one! 814 00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:55,172 [engine roaring] 815 00:50:08,551 --> 00:50:09,517 [sputtering] 816 00:50:13,551 --> 00:50:14,965 Damn it! 817 00:50:17,931 --> 00:50:18,827 [splashing] 818 00:50:43,620 --> 00:50:47,448 I'm coming Martin! I'm coming Martin! I'm coming Martin! 819 00:50:50,896 --> 00:50:52,068 [throttle roars] 820 00:51:02,517 --> 00:51:04,206 Mr. Mayor! Mr. Mayor! 821 00:51:04,206 --> 00:51:05,413 Wha? What what?? 822 00:51:05,413 --> 00:51:08,448 Snakes snakes snakes SNAKES SNAKES!!! 823 00:51:09,827 --> 00:51:12,862 Sir! You're just having a nightmare! I tried to stop them- 824 00:51:12,862 --> 00:51:16,448 John, we got a big problem on our hands, a shit storm is a-brewin' out there in the shape of big ass killer shrews, and you're in here napping'! 825 00:51:21,620 --> 00:51:23,310 What is the meaning of this? 826 00:51:25,206 --> 00:51:29,206 Your town is being overrun by ravenous rodents! People are dying out there! 827 00:51:31,827 --> 00:51:32,448 Floyd... 828 00:51:34,379 --> 00:51:38,827 Why is Fiona Rae in my office and you didn't warn me? I look like shit! 829 00:51:40,344 --> 00:51:41,793 Sir! Sorry- 830 00:51:41,793 --> 00:51:45,862 Get out! Get out and get Miss Rae a cup of tea please! 831 00:51:47,413 --> 00:51:48,620 Oooh! Earl Grey. 832 00:51:50,241 --> 00:51:52,655 Yea... that guy's a retard. 833 00:51:54,034 --> 00:51:57,310 Mayor, I've seen one of these things... they're huge! 834 00:51:58,827 --> 00:52:02,931 We need to shut down the town! A curfew is in effect immediately! 835 00:52:04,310 --> 00:52:06,206 We need to exterminate the infestation before it spreads. 836 00:52:07,310 --> 00:52:09,482 My God, could things get any worse? 837 00:52:12,241 --> 00:52:14,413 Sir... your wife just called... 838 00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:15,793 ..your dog died. 839 00:52:18,413 --> 00:52:19,034 Pugsly? 840 00:52:20,689 --> 00:52:22,034 My little Pugsly? 841 00:52:24,965 --> 00:52:27,206 Sir! The town is a war zone! 842 00:52:28,275 --> 00:52:29,482 This is terrible! 843 00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:35,344 I think the mayor's gone bye-bye... 844 00:52:36,827 --> 00:52:39,103 What do you need from us, Captain? 845 00:52:40,517 --> 00:52:43,344 Let's step outside for a minute... give him a moment. 846 00:52:45,068 --> 00:52:45,965 [sniffling] 847 00:52:47,310 --> 00:52:48,655 My little Pugsly... 848 00:52:52,103 --> 00:52:57,103 First Wayne, now Pugsly... what's going on in this town? 849 00:52:57,896 --> 00:52:59,206 Mayor major wuss.. 850 00:53:02,413 --> 00:53:05,965 We need a map of the town. Close down all the streets coming and going. 851 00:53:06,413 --> 00:53:06,655 Done! 852 00:53:08,620 --> 00:53:12,586 We need to gather as much intel on these things as we can... find out what makes them tick. 853 00:53:14,137 --> 00:53:17,172 They're shrews, how complicated can they be? 854 00:53:18,034 --> 00:53:20,310 Girlie, you have no idea. 855 00:53:26,172 --> 00:53:27,620 How much further? 856 00:53:28,793 --> 00:53:30,448 I don't know, I was following you! 857 00:53:31,137 --> 00:53:32,103 Are you serious? 858 00:53:32,862 --> 00:53:34,206 Yea! I thought you knew! 859 00:53:35,137 --> 00:53:36,206 Who is this guy? 860 00:53:38,137 --> 00:53:39,655 I don't really know... 861 00:53:41,103 --> 00:53:44,137 The name's Wilkens, I own the saw mill you guys stopped at. 862 00:53:45,689 --> 00:53:48,724 So you own the mill, but you have no idea where we are right now? 863 00:53:48,724 --> 00:53:50,517 I never come this way! 864 00:54:04,275 --> 00:54:05,310 [shrew noises] 865 00:54:06,689 --> 00:54:08,655 Ahhhhhh! 866 00:54:09,241 --> 00:54:10,931 Cassandra! 867 00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:12,965 Eeeeeeeee!!! 868 00:54:18,413 --> 00:54:19,206 Cassandra! 869 00:54:22,517 --> 00:54:23,689 They're right behind us! 870 00:54:23,689 --> 00:54:24,758 Cassie!! 871 00:54:33,586 --> 00:54:35,068 And what's this here? 872 00:54:35,068 --> 00:54:38,172 That's the old saw mills...it's in the outskirts of the city. 873 00:54:39,344 --> 00:54:41,655 I can see that. It's a good vantage point. 874 00:54:41,655 --> 00:54:44,931 Take a couple of guys and get there. Make sure it's secure.. 875 00:54:46,551 --> 00:54:49,000 ..leave my men there and we'll rendezvous back here at fifteen-hundred. 876 00:54:49,620 --> 00:54:50,413 Sure thing. 877 00:54:52,034 --> 00:54:54,862 And I'm gonna deeter some skeeters with my Deter Insect RepellentC©. 878 00:54:55,862 --> 00:54:57,000 Fiona! 879 00:54:58,172 --> 00:55:00,758 Fiona Rae... you are one lucky guy. 880 00:55:01,482 --> 00:55:02,413 It's not what you think. 881 00:55:03,862 --> 00:55:07,000 Sir, you're needed back at the barracks right away. 882 00:55:13,413 --> 00:55:14,896 Thank you Mrs. Rae!! 883 00:55:14,896 --> 00:55:17,517 Looks like I'm gonna have to scoot. Duty calls. 884 00:55:19,137 --> 00:55:21,655 The town is on lockdown, and I think you'll be safest by staying here. 885 00:55:22,482 --> 00:55:23,689 Can't I come with you? 886 00:55:23,689 --> 00:55:26,241 Not this time. Way too dangerous. 887 00:55:27,034 --> 00:55:27,689 If you say so.. 888 00:55:28,137 --> 00:55:28,896 I do. 889 00:55:29,620 --> 00:55:31,103 I'll see you soon. 890 00:55:31,862 --> 00:55:35,896 [sentimental score] 891 00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:43,034 Blake! Blake! 892 00:55:43,793 --> 00:55:45,206 You kill those shrews! 893 00:55:47,000 --> 00:55:47,689 [DING!] 894 00:55:56,241 --> 00:55:57,724 [low, creeping tone] 895 00:55:58,724 --> 00:55:59,758 Cassie! 896 00:56:31,793 --> 00:56:32,551 Cassandra! 897 00:56:34,551 --> 00:56:37,793 Careful with the yellin', boy! The reverberations can bring this whole thing down on us! 898 00:56:38,724 --> 00:56:40,103 Better that than eaten by shrews. 899 00:56:44,275 --> 00:56:46,620 I just can't believe it's happening again.. 900 00:56:47,482 --> 00:56:49,896 What do you mean "again"? 901 00:56:51,103 --> 00:56:51,965 Eeee!! 902 00:56:52,758 --> 00:56:55,862 I wanna go to Bermuda!! 903 00:56:56,310 --> 00:56:57,965 OK...OK! 904 00:56:58,551 --> 00:56:59,551 We can do that.. 905 00:57:00,931 --> 00:57:03,034 These shrews'll be on us any minute! 906 00:57:05,103 --> 00:57:07,724 Let's follow the creepy Scottish guy.. 907 00:57:11,068 --> 00:57:13,241 Come on, let's take this tunnel! 908 00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:23,413 This is a dead end! 909 00:57:24,862 --> 00:57:26,413 Well that's good! We'll get our back against the wall! 910 00:57:27,965 --> 00:57:29,758 We're trapped! How is that good? 911 00:57:31,137 --> 00:57:32,517 Well they can't sneak up on us, the sneaky bastards! 912 00:57:34,448 --> 00:57:38,241 Wilkens, this isn't your first encounter with killer shrews... is it... 913 00:57:39,827 --> 00:57:43,344 You youngsters take a seat and I'll tell you a tale. 914 00:57:51,931 --> 00:57:54,310 I come from the village of Killiecrankie. 915 00:57:55,172 --> 00:57:56,413 I've never heard of that before? 916 00:57:56,413 --> 00:57:58,965 It's in Scotland. I left when I was a wee boy. 917 00:58:00,137 --> 00:58:01,965 It seems I brought these creatures with me.. 918 00:58:03,103 --> 00:58:05,517 That doesn't make any sense. What do you mean? 919 00:58:07,965 --> 00:58:11,379 Ah it was a long time ago... huge man eating shrews stormed the village wiping out everything in their path! 920 00:58:13,655 --> 00:58:16,172 I was lucky. Me and a few others.. 921 00:58:19,241 --> 00:58:21,758 That doesn't make any sense. Murdock told us that he created them in his lab when he was experimenting with a cure for rabies... 922 00:58:23,758 --> 00:58:25,206 ..it just doesn't make sense. How could they have gotten here from Scotland? 923 00:58:27,689 --> 00:58:30,655 Murdock, eh? There was a Murdock in the village... crazy guy. Our parents told us not to talk to him. 924 00:58:33,241 --> 00:58:35,034 That seems highly coincidental.. 925 00:58:37,000 --> 00:58:41,034 Or not! You kids don't have to sit on the ground, there's plenty boxes! 926 00:58:46,034 --> 00:58:47,241 Holy shit! 927 00:58:47,862 --> 00:58:48,965 Hot diggity! 928 00:58:50,000 --> 00:58:51,620 This'll blow them up! 929 00:58:52,206 --> 00:58:53,241 [shrew noises] 930 00:58:55,862 --> 00:58:57,448 Derrr duhh duhhh buhhh! 931 00:58:58,931 --> 00:59:00,793 I'll keep them busy, you guys go! 932 00:59:00,793 --> 00:59:02,827 That's what the professor said and he's not coming back! 933 00:59:02,827 --> 00:59:05,275 Ah, I'm old. I've had my fun.. 934 00:59:05,275 --> 00:59:09,724 Go to the saw mill, there's a shoe box in my office... you'll find everything you're lookin' for.. 935 00:59:10,586 --> 00:59:12,241 ..Murdock, I should have known. 936 00:59:13,586 --> 00:59:14,620 [shrew noises] 937 00:59:15,310 --> 00:59:16,310 [dramatic music] 938 00:59:20,034 --> 00:59:20,551 [fuse ignites] 939 00:59:21,137 --> 00:59:21,758 [hissing] 940 00:59:23,206 --> 00:59:26,965 Alright, ya rat bastard shrew sonsabitches! COME AND GET IT! 941 00:59:28,344 --> 00:59:30,758 Hahahaha! 942 00:59:33,310 --> 00:59:36,241 HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! 943 00:59:36,862 --> 00:59:38,862 [screaming] 944 00:59:43,068 --> 00:59:43,862 [hiss, shrew noises] 945 00:59:44,448 --> 00:59:45,655 [KA-BOOM!] 946 00:59:49,413 --> 00:59:50,620 [crickets] 947 00:59:57,068 --> 00:59:58,275 There it is! 948 00:59:58,275 --> 00:59:59,724 I've never had to shit so bad in my life! 949 00:59:59,724 --> 01:00:00,206 Lewis! 950 01:00:00,689 --> 01:00:00,862 EVER!! 951 01:00:01,448 --> 01:00:01,931 Hold it!!! 952 01:00:05,827 --> 01:00:07,689 Oh thank God we're saved! 953 01:00:08,862 --> 01:00:10,482 What the Hell are you two doing way out here? 954 01:00:11,793 --> 01:00:14,448 Don't you know there's....KILLER SHREWS... everywhere?! 955 01:00:15,034 --> 01:00:16,068 They're OK. 956 01:00:17,655 --> 01:00:18,241 [military music] 957 01:00:19,137 --> 01:00:20,275 They're with me. 958 01:00:20,896 --> 01:00:21,344 Oh thank God.. 959 01:00:22,931 --> 01:00:25,206 I'm glad to see you two made it out alright. Where's the professor? 960 01:00:26,034 --> 01:00:26,551 No.. 961 01:00:28,620 --> 01:00:30,034 Get us out of here Sheriff! 962 01:00:30,931 --> 01:00:32,413 Get these two some place safe! 963 01:00:33,000 --> 01:00:33,689 Sir yes sir! 964 01:00:35,448 --> 01:00:35,965 Ma'am. 965 01:00:38,344 --> 01:00:40,034 Hold on Sheriff... I have something to tell you... 966 01:00:40,827 --> 01:00:42,103 Cassie, you go on. 967 01:00:43,620 --> 01:00:46,103 Any time anyone ever says that they never come back! 968 01:00:54,655 --> 01:00:55,827 [slobbering] 969 01:00:57,862 --> 01:00:58,758 Ahem! 970 01:00:59,724 --> 01:01:00,793 I'll wait for you. 971 01:01:02,310 --> 01:01:02,827 [dramatic score] 972 01:01:03,689 --> 01:01:05,620 Hut hut hut hut hut hut hut! 973 01:01:06,482 --> 01:01:07,827 Whatchu talkin' bout Lewis?! 974 01:01:09,896 --> 01:01:12,448 The guy that owned the mill, he told me something that might be useful. I'll show you, come on! 975 01:01:14,551 --> 01:01:16,206 What the fuck is a shrew anyway? 976 01:01:16,965 --> 01:01:17,931 I have no fuckin' idea. 977 01:01:18,655 --> 01:01:19,827 We're about to find out! 978 01:01:21,758 --> 01:01:24,620 He said it was up here... in an old shoe box.. 979 01:01:25,448 --> 01:01:26,620 Yahtzee! 980 01:01:32,413 --> 01:01:33,034 [thud] 981 01:01:33,965 --> 01:01:35,034 It's junk! 982 01:01:35,931 --> 01:01:37,413 Who does that look like to you? 983 01:01:38,482 --> 01:01:39,862 Looks like Murdock. 984 01:01:42,275 --> 01:01:45,000 Holy shit... I think I know what's happening! 985 01:01:46,172 --> 01:01:46,965 Good cuz I don't have a fuckin' clue! 986 01:01:47,724 --> 01:01:49,551 Murdock... where is he? 987 01:01:51,620 --> 01:01:54,551 His body got thrown from the car during the crash! Shoulda seen it he went flyyyyyiiiing! 988 01:01:56,137 --> 01:01:58,655 And his body? Did you recover it? Do you know where it is? 989 01:01:58,655 --> 01:02:01,758 No he's gone, just like I told you! Just like Wayne! 990 01:02:04,344 --> 01:02:06,103 We need to get back to town. 991 01:02:06,862 --> 01:02:08,275 Alright! Let's go! 992 01:02:09,517 --> 01:02:13,206 [maniacal giggling] 993 01:02:21,862 --> 01:02:26,862 Alright! Listen up! This is it men! It's either us or these damn shrews! And you know what they say... 994 01:02:29,379 --> 01:02:31,379 ..ya shrews, ya lose! 995 01:02:33,931 --> 01:02:35,758 Sir! We have a visual on the shrews! They're heading this way and they'll be on top of us within minutes! 996 01:02:38,862 --> 01:02:40,862 Beautiful! Alright, listen up! This is where I give my big inspirational speech letting you sissies know that some of you ain't gonna make it! 997 01:02:44,034 --> 01:02:46,137 Nobody dies without my permission! 998 01:02:49,172 --> 01:02:52,034 Let's secure the left perimeter, secure the right perimeter! We'll drag 'em all into the mill and bring the whole fuckin' thing down on their heads! 999 01:02:55,310 --> 01:02:57,137 We're gonna leave it here today! 1000 01:02:59,206 --> 01:03:02,413 We're gonna cover this place in shrew blood! It's gonna be biblical! Who's with me? 1001 01:03:02,413 --> 01:03:03,448 Yes sir yes sir! 1002 01:03:03,448 --> 01:03:04,517 Let's go! 1003 01:03:04,517 --> 01:03:05,103 [bonk!] 1004 01:03:06,620 --> 01:03:07,724 Sorry, sir! 1005 01:03:13,103 --> 01:03:16,344 Get your ass up son! We're here to slay rodents! 1006 01:03:16,344 --> 01:03:17,793 SIR YES SIR! 1007 01:03:17,793 --> 01:03:19,965 Now I need you to get upstairs, and get ready to- 1008 01:03:20,413 --> 01:03:20,551 Arrggh! 1009 01:03:21,137 --> 01:03:21,931 [shrew noises] 1010 01:03:24,000 --> 01:03:25,758 [machine gun fire] 1011 01:03:26,344 --> 01:03:27,000 [action music] 1012 01:03:29,000 --> 01:03:32,413 What the Hell's the matter with you boy?! Get your ass up, we got shrews to kill! 1013 01:03:32,413 --> 01:03:32,931 Sir yes sir- 1014 01:03:33,655 --> 01:03:35,068 Cowboy up! Yeeeee-haw! 1015 01:03:35,689 --> 01:03:35,827 Yeeeeee-haaa! 1016 01:03:36,275 --> 01:03:36,620 Let's go 1017 01:03:38,103 --> 01:03:43,103 Hut hut hut hut hut hut hut hut hut hut hut hut hut! 1018 01:03:52,137 --> 01:03:52,655 [crunching] 1019 01:04:00,344 --> 01:04:01,000 [shrew noises] 1020 01:04:01,620 --> 01:04:02,344 EEEEEEEEEE!!!! 1021 01:04:02,827 --> 01:04:03,620 [roar] 1022 01:04:03,620 --> 01:04:04,551 Sonofa bitchin' beaver! 1023 01:04:04,551 --> 01:04:07,827 [machine gun fire, screaming] 1024 01:04:08,413 --> 01:04:08,551 Sonofabitch! 1025 01:04:09,137 --> 01:04:09,448 [roaring] 1026 01:04:10,172 --> 01:04:11,931 [machine gun fire] 1027 01:04:13,206 --> 01:04:15,206 [machine gun fire] 1028 01:04:16,103 --> 01:04:17,310 [punches, kicks] 1029 01:04:17,931 --> 01:04:18,896 Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!! 1030 01:04:19,620 --> 01:04:20,310 [machine gun fire] 1031 01:04:21,034 --> 01:04:22,172 [gunshots] 1032 01:04:23,655 --> 01:04:24,724 Ahhhhhhh! 1033 01:04:27,620 --> 01:04:28,206 Mom 1034 01:04:28,827 --> 01:04:29,103 [roaring] 1035 01:04:35,724 --> 01:04:36,758 [shrew noises] 1036 01:04:37,344 --> 01:04:38,000 [roaring] 1037 01:04:41,448 --> 01:04:42,724 Ahhh! 1038 01:04:43,310 --> 01:04:44,310 [shrew noises] 1039 01:04:50,241 --> 01:04:51,344 Ahhh! 1040 01:04:52,931 --> 01:04:53,793 Ahhhhhhh! 1041 01:04:55,827 --> 01:04:57,241 [action score ends] 1042 01:05:01,172 --> 01:05:01,724 [SQUEAK!] 1043 01:05:03,758 --> 01:05:04,241 Ah! 1044 01:05:05,137 --> 01:05:05,724 [thump] 1045 01:05:09,034 --> 01:05:10,068 [shrew noises] 1046 01:05:14,965 --> 01:05:16,068 [panting] 1047 01:05:18,931 --> 01:05:19,965 [shrew noises] 1048 01:05:22,379 --> 01:05:25,413 They're everywhere! Get the Hell out of here! 1049 01:05:26,000 --> 01:05:26,793 [shrew noises] 1050 01:05:28,620 --> 01:05:29,551 [thunk thunk] 1051 01:05:30,965 --> 01:05:32,000 [shrew noises] 1052 01:05:35,310 --> 01:05:38,448 [explosion] 1053 01:05:41,137 --> 01:05:44,931 Yep! Biblical! Haha! 1054 01:05:47,620 --> 01:05:52,620 I assure you Miss Rae, you're safe here for the time being! We've taken over this house as our command center. 1055 01:05:54,068 --> 01:05:55,724 No shrews are getting' in here! 1056 01:05:55,724 --> 01:05:56,344 [shrew screeches] 1057 01:05:56,965 --> 01:05:57,482 What the Hell!? 1058 01:06:00,517 --> 01:06:01,000 [blam!] 1059 01:06:06,241 --> 01:06:10,413 That was a freak occurrence! It must have gotten in here before us! 1060 01:06:12,482 --> 01:06:16,103 Captain, I am trained in the operation of most firearms. I have to be for my feature films... 1061 01:06:18,413 --> 01:06:21,241 I would feel a lot safer if I had a gun! 1062 01:06:23,137 --> 01:06:26,517 Hahaha! A gun? Sweetheart, this is not the movies. Leave the heavy stuff for us. 1063 01:06:29,241 --> 01:06:30,034 [knocking] 1064 01:06:30,034 --> 01:06:31,793 [doorbell ringing] 1065 01:06:35,758 --> 01:06:36,310 Open it. 1066 01:06:38,000 --> 01:06:40,586 Woah woah woah! Slow down, Turbo! 1067 01:06:41,310 --> 01:06:42,586 Where is Captain Frost? 1068 01:06:43,034 --> 01:06:44,172 Blake! Fiona! 1069 01:06:45,103 --> 01:06:45,931 They're OK. 1070 01:06:51,379 --> 01:06:52,827 Miss Rae, I'm so glad that you're alive- 1071 01:06:52,827 --> 01:06:56,137 EWWW Lewis! You stink! 1072 01:06:57,448 --> 01:06:58,448 Where's your girlfriend? 1073 01:06:59,862 --> 01:07:01,758 Not exactly sure... she's in good hands though. 1074 01:07:05,896 --> 01:07:07,137 I'm Captain Frost. 1075 01:07:08,000 --> 01:07:09,448 Lewis Fontana. Literary agent. [squishing] 1076 01:07:10,551 --> 01:07:12,413 This is Lieutenant Falcon. 1077 01:07:13,310 --> 01:07:13,862 [bark!] 1078 01:07:15,068 --> 01:07:17,896 Mittens! Mittens! Where the Hell's Mittens? 1079 01:07:18,482 --> 01:07:19,724 Right here, sir! 1080 01:07:19,724 --> 01:07:21,310 Where the Hell you been? 1081 01:07:22,103 --> 01:07:24,275 Right here, sir! Don't do that to me boy! 1082 01:07:24,275 --> 01:07:24,862 Yes sir! 1083 01:07:26,137 --> 01:07:27,862 Take Mr. Fontana upstairs to be debriefed! 1084 01:07:27,862 --> 01:07:29,034 Yes sir, you got it boss! 1085 01:07:32,827 --> 01:07:33,310 C'mon! 1086 01:07:37,517 --> 01:07:39,206 The mill is secure, Cap'n! 1087 01:07:39,827 --> 01:07:42,344 That's great, I- 1088 01:07:42,344 --> 01:07:44,517 [radio] Captain Frost! Captain Frost! Come in Captain Frost! They're breaking through the wire! 1089 01:07:44,517 --> 01:07:48,413 [radio] There are dozens of them! Coordinates niner-niner-whiskey-do-the-tango! 1090 01:07:49,896 --> 01:07:52,724 What the Hell?? Hold the line! 1091 01:07:53,827 --> 01:07:55,655 I'm so glad you're here! 1092 01:07:58,172 --> 01:08:01,034 Me too! Hey get this: That doctor guy? Murdock? Seems like he's got an interesting family tree... 1093 01:08:04,344 --> 01:08:04,862 Oh? 1094 01:08:06,275 --> 01:08:10,482 His grandfather went nuts in a small Scottish village! 1095 01:08:11,655 --> 01:08:14,896 He created gigantic murderous shrews! 1096 01:08:16,275 --> 01:08:20,103 Wipin' out every man, woman and child for miles! 1097 01:08:20,965 --> 01:08:21,482 Oh my God! 1098 01:08:22,862 --> 01:08:25,448 How is that possible? 1099 01:08:25,448 --> 01:08:29,275 Well, he told us he was looking for a rabies cure. What he was really doing was following in his grandfather's footsteps. 1100 01:08:35,482 --> 01:08:38,689 Now obviously he's a few cans short of a six pack. 1101 01:08:39,827 --> 01:08:41,689 But after he succeeded... 1102 01:08:42,793 --> 01:08:46,241 He created gigantic killer shrews! 1103 01:08:47,896 --> 01:08:52,482 I don't know if he planned on having them escape, but they did! 1104 01:08:54,482 --> 01:08:58,965 I think he was going to use them to conquer the town... maybe even conquer the world! 1105 01:09:03,758 --> 01:09:07,103 This is complete madness! How did I even get here? 1106 01:09:07,103 --> 01:09:09,586 Well, your car broke down and- 1107 01:09:09,586 --> 01:09:13,551 This is so much like a movie! Giant killer rodents! An evil scientist with a chip on his shoulder! 1108 01:09:16,241 --> 01:09:19,172 A glamorous leading lady... 1109 01:09:20,620 --> 01:09:23,344 If this were a movie, this would be the third act! 1110 01:09:24,206 --> 01:09:25,931 The third act! What's that?? 1111 01:09:27,068 --> 01:09:29,551 It means we're about to reach the climax... 1112 01:09:30,000 --> 01:09:31,448 [BLAM!] [rustling] 1113 01:09:32,655 --> 01:09:35,655 It just went off! It just went off! 1114 01:09:35,655 --> 01:09:38,000 Calm down, bring it back! 1115 01:09:39,379 --> 01:09:43,241 Calm down! Bring it back! It's over! It's over! 1116 01:09:44,931 --> 01:09:47,965 [radio] Sir, I have the president of the United States on channel one! 1117 01:09:47,965 --> 01:09:49,413 Patch him through. 1118 01:09:50,413 --> 01:09:51,517 [radio] Captain Frost.. 1119 01:09:52,310 --> 01:09:53,206 Mr. President. 1120 01:09:54,620 --> 01:09:56,965 You must be absolutely certain of this decision. 1121 01:09:57,689 --> 01:09:58,965 Affirmative! Drop it! 1122 01:10:00,275 --> 01:10:02,896 All those people... evacuate as many as you can! 1123 01:10:03,620 --> 01:10:06,103 Yes sir! Nuke 'em... 1124 01:10:07,000 --> 01:10:08,206 I've told you everything I know! 1125 01:10:09,068 --> 01:10:10,172 You ain't told us shit, bitch! 1126 01:10:12,068 --> 01:10:13,551 That's because I don't know anything! There's killer shrews running around- KILLER SHREWS! 1127 01:10:13,551 --> 01:10:15,448 What more do you need?? 1128 01:10:15,448 --> 01:10:18,172 Killer shrews! Say something else for a Goddamn change, how 'bout that? 1129 01:10:20,448 --> 01:10:21,068 Mittens! 1130 01:10:21,551 --> 01:10:21,793 Sir.. 1131 01:10:23,620 --> 01:10:24,655 Boy's a tough one sir, I don't know... 1132 01:10:26,034 --> 01:10:28,517 Forget him! Gather up the men, we're moving out! 1133 01:10:29,000 --> 01:10:29,206 Yes sir! 1134 01:10:30,413 --> 01:10:32,000 Hey uh, shrews are here! We gotta go! 1135 01:10:32,620 --> 01:10:32,965 We're out! 1136 01:10:38,241 --> 01:10:40,724 Do you think I can get your autograph now? 1137 01:10:41,724 --> 01:10:42,620 Absolutely. 1138 01:10:43,379 --> 01:10:44,000 Make it out to Martin. 1139 01:10:44,000 --> 01:10:44,517 [giggle] 1140 01:10:46,103 --> 01:10:50,413 Miss Rae. Sheriff.... we're leaving, and I suggest you do the same. 1141 01:10:51,586 --> 01:10:52,965 Something wrong Cap'n? 1142 01:10:52,965 --> 01:10:53,931 They're on their way. 1143 01:10:53,931 --> 01:10:55,241 Oh no, they're here already! 1144 01:10:55,241 --> 01:10:55,931 Quiet! 1145 01:10:57,103 --> 01:10:59,758 But I thought you said this place was safe? 1146 01:10:59,758 --> 01:11:03,448 From the shrews, yes... well, maybe. But not from the big-ass nuke that's about to hit the city! 1147 01:11:04,172 --> 01:11:05,413 [together] WHAT?!? 1148 01:11:05,413 --> 01:11:08,000 I've said enough! Men, we're out! 1149 01:11:09,758 --> 01:11:10,931 Get the door, son. 1150 01:11:12,827 --> 01:11:13,551 [roaring] 1151 01:11:14,275 --> 01:11:15,103 [machine gun fire] 1152 01:11:15,724 --> 01:11:15,862 [screaming] 1153 01:11:16,586 --> 01:11:19,551 Kill 'em men! Shoot! 1154 01:11:20,137 --> 01:11:20,344 [gunshots] 1155 01:11:21,482 --> 01:11:22,482 There's more coming through the door, men!!! 1156 01:11:22,482 --> 01:11:23,172 Get 'em! 1157 01:11:24,034 --> 01:11:25,448 [screaming, machine gun fire] There's so many! 1158 01:11:26,034 --> 01:11:27,000 [shrew noises] 1159 01:11:27,586 --> 01:11:27,862 [gunfire] 1160 01:11:28,724 --> 01:11:29,551 There's too many of them! 1161 01:11:30,413 --> 01:11:30,758 [shrews screeching, gunshots] 1162 01:11:31,758 --> 01:11:33,413 [screaming] 1163 01:11:34,000 --> 01:11:34,482 Jimmy, no!! 1164 01:11:35,310 --> 01:11:36,586 Ahhhhh!!! [chomp!] 1165 01:11:37,310 --> 01:11:38,137 Jimmy!! Get up!!! 1166 01:11:38,137 --> 01:11:40,103 [Wilhelm scream!] 1167 01:11:40,724 --> 01:11:41,379 [gunshots] 1168 01:11:41,862 --> 01:11:42,551 Jimmy!!! 1169 01:11:43,620 --> 01:11:44,517 Jimmy!! 1170 01:11:45,137 --> 01:11:45,275 [screaming] 1171 01:11:46,034 --> 01:11:46,931 They killed Jimmy!!!!!! 1172 01:11:47,689 --> 01:11:48,206 [explosion of gunfire] 1173 01:11:49,931 --> 01:11:51,103 Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!! 1174 01:11:52,137 --> 01:11:53,517 [roaring, gunfire] 1175 01:11:56,344 --> 01:11:58,068 [screaming, machine gunfire] 1176 01:11:58,724 --> 01:11:59,310 Jimmy!!!!! 1177 01:12:01,551 --> 01:12:03,137 What are those things?! 1178 01:12:03,137 --> 01:12:04,379 I have no clue!!! 1179 01:12:04,379 --> 01:12:06,517 I think...I think they're shrews! 1180 01:12:06,517 --> 01:12:07,517 What's a fucking shrew?! 1181 01:12:07,517 --> 01:12:08,620 I don't fucking know!!! 1182 01:12:08,620 --> 01:12:09,275 [screaming] 1183 01:12:09,275 --> 01:12:10,241 [roaring] 1184 01:12:11,724 --> 01:12:12,206 [yelping] 1185 01:12:13,586 --> 01:12:14,068 [machine gunfire, growling] 1186 01:12:14,758 --> 01:12:15,517 Ahhhhhhh! 1187 01:12:16,000 --> 01:12:16,931 [BANG!] [BANG] 1188 01:12:17,517 --> 01:12:17,862 Ahhhhh!!!!!! 1189 01:12:18,724 --> 01:12:22,448 Die! Die ahhhhhhh!! Die ahhhhhh! 1190 01:12:23,034 --> 01:12:23,241 [shrew noises] 1191 01:12:24,000 --> 01:12:24,827 [machine gunfire] 1192 01:12:26,758 --> 01:12:30,827 This is Sheriff Blake! Do not drop the nuke! I repeat, do not drop the nuke! 1193 01:12:31,758 --> 01:12:33,000 [machine gunfire] 1194 01:12:33,000 --> 01:12:34,448 You have to press that button and hold it down! 1195 01:12:34,448 --> 01:12:35,103 Duh!! 1196 01:12:35,103 --> 01:12:36,551 [screaming] 1197 01:12:36,551 --> 01:12:38,724 This is Sheriff Martin Blake! Don't drop the nuke! 1198 01:12:39,896 --> 01:12:40,896 [radio] Sorry dude, this is a restricted line. 1199 01:12:41,586 --> 01:12:42,793 You sonofabitch! 1200 01:12:42,793 --> 01:12:44,379 We have to find Cassandra! 1201 01:12:44,379 --> 01:12:45,000 Let's go! 1202 01:12:45,758 --> 01:12:46,620 [roaring, gunshots] 1203 01:12:48,068 --> 01:12:49,103 [shrew noises] 1204 01:12:50,379 --> 01:12:52,551 Oh sweet baby Jesus, I'm comin'! 1205 01:12:55,413 --> 01:12:57,241 Sonofabitch rat bastards! 1206 01:12:58,310 --> 01:12:59,034 [grunting] 1207 01:13:00,103 --> 01:13:03,344 Gimme a sec.... OK we're good! 1208 01:13:04,137 --> 01:13:05,068 Die! [BLAM!] [BLAM!] 1209 01:13:05,068 --> 01:13:06,344 Don't you know who I am?! 1210 01:13:06,827 --> 01:13:07,620 [BLAM!] 1211 01:13:07,620 --> 01:13:09,034 I'm Captain Jack Frost! 1212 01:13:09,034 --> 01:13:11,000 [BLAM!] Die! [BLAM!] Die!! 1213 01:13:11,000 --> 01:13:12,689 Ahhhhhhhhh!!! [animal grunts] 1214 01:13:12,689 --> 01:13:14,000 It's humping me!! 1215 01:13:14,000 --> 01:13:15,034 Get it off! 1216 01:13:15,655 --> 01:13:18,827 [deep breathing] 1217 01:13:19,413 --> 01:13:19,758 [action music] 1218 01:13:20,965 --> 01:13:22,827 [hiss] 1219 01:13:36,793 --> 01:13:37,827 [shrew noises] 1220 01:13:39,137 --> 01:13:39,862 [roaring] 1221 01:13:40,310 --> 01:13:40,655 [BLAM!] 1222 01:13:45,275 --> 01:13:45,862 [BLAM!] 1223 01:13:47,586 --> 01:13:48,137 [BLAM!] 1224 01:13:52,448 --> 01:13:53,103 [CRACK!] 1225 01:13:54,206 --> 01:13:54,931 [roaring] 1226 01:13:56,068 --> 01:13:57,241 [shrew screeches, deep breathing] 1227 01:13:58,862 --> 01:13:59,413 [BLAM!] 1228 01:14:04,620 --> 01:14:06,862 Dude, why is he moving so slow? 1229 01:14:06,862 --> 01:14:07,724 I don't know! 1230 01:14:09,965 --> 01:14:10,689 Yo! Hey fellas! 1231 01:14:15,034 --> 01:14:16,482 Guys I think I'm good! 1232 01:14:17,206 --> 01:14:18,068 Aw they got Mittens! 1233 01:14:18,689 --> 01:14:19,448 No, no I'm OK! 1234 01:14:20,034 --> 01:14:20,310 Are you ok? 1235 01:14:21,758 --> 01:14:23,172 Uhhhh... nope, nope, they got Ol' Mittens good this time! 1236 01:14:23,655 --> 01:14:24,172 [bang!] 1237 01:14:24,931 --> 01:14:26,724 OW! Goddamnit! 1238 01:14:26,724 --> 01:14:27,724 Come on! 1239 01:14:28,448 --> 01:14:30,000 [machine gunfire] 1240 01:14:33,448 --> 01:14:34,482 Fellas come on! 1241 01:14:34,482 --> 01:14:35,275 Aw bitch! 1242 01:14:35,275 --> 01:14:36,068 Shoot him in the head! 1243 01:14:36,068 --> 01:14:36,931 [machine gunfire] 1244 01:14:37,620 --> 01:14:41,448 [gunshots] 1245 01:14:57,758 --> 01:14:59,103 Where is everybody? 1246 01:14:59,586 --> 01:15:00,379 Steve! 1247 01:15:00,965 --> 01:15:02,000 JIMMY! 1248 01:15:03,965 --> 01:15:05,034 Derp derp derp... 1249 01:15:05,793 --> 01:15:06,241 ...derp derp derp. 1250 01:15:16,827 --> 01:15:17,310 Well that's spooky! 1251 01:15:19,000 --> 01:15:20,310 [war noises] Kill the shrews!!!!! 1252 01:15:21,034 --> 01:15:22,344 [gunfire, whimpering] 1253 01:15:24,793 --> 01:15:25,275 [screaming] 1254 01:15:27,344 --> 01:15:31,413 They left me! They left me all alone! GASP! They left me all alone! AHHHHH!!!!! 1255 01:15:32,000 --> 01:15:33,034 AHHHHHHHHH!!! 1256 01:15:33,931 --> 01:15:34,551 [SPLAT!] 1257 01:15:36,000 --> 01:15:36,655 [VROOM!] 1258 01:15:38,413 --> 01:15:39,206 [gunshots] 1259 01:15:43,206 --> 01:15:44,034 You go help those guys! 1260 01:15:44,517 --> 01:15:44,862 Yessir! 1261 01:15:46,827 --> 01:15:50,931 Redirect the nuke! Redirect the nuke! Do whatever you gotta do for the love of God! 1262 01:15:52,827 --> 01:15:54,310 There's the sergeant! 1263 01:15:54,310 --> 01:15:56,862 The blondie! The civilian! Where is she?! 1264 01:15:56,862 --> 01:15:58,137 We got separated!! 1265 01:15:58,137 --> 01:16:00,344 [gunshots, chomping, screaming] 1266 01:16:00,344 --> 01:16:03,241 If I were you I'd get your fuckin' asses out of here! It's coming! It's coming! 1267 01:16:06,241 --> 01:16:07,206 There she is! 1268 01:16:07,206 --> 01:16:08,482 Cassandra! 1269 01:16:08,965 --> 01:16:09,379 Lewis! 1270 01:16:10,827 --> 01:16:13,965 Fiona! It's way too dangerous! You're gonna have to stay here! 1271 01:16:13,965 --> 01:16:16,517 I'm not staying here without a weapon! 1272 01:16:16,517 --> 01:16:17,206 [squish!] 1273 01:16:18,379 --> 01:16:21,379 There you go! You go kill those shrews! 1274 01:16:22,172 --> 01:16:24,103 [kung fu flute] 1275 01:16:24,724 --> 01:16:24,965 [roaring] 1276 01:16:25,689 --> 01:16:27,137 [machine gunfire] 1277 01:16:27,758 --> 01:16:28,517 [roaring] 1278 01:16:29,241 --> 01:16:31,034 [machine gunfire] 1279 01:16:32,000 --> 01:16:34,172 [roaring] [machine gunfire] 1280 01:16:34,862 --> 01:16:35,758 [screaming] 1281 01:16:36,413 --> 01:16:37,448 [action music] 1282 01:16:49,793 --> 01:16:50,517 Uhh! Uggh! 1283 01:16:51,620 --> 01:16:55,448 Jimmy! Stop fucking with me Jimmy! 1284 01:16:57,517 --> 01:16:59,689 AHHHH! [fart!] 1285 01:17:02,689 --> 01:17:03,241 Hold on! 1286 01:17:10,448 --> 01:17:15,448 Hey baby! What's your name? My friends call me Zero but you can call me whatever you want! 1287 01:17:16,862 --> 01:17:20,137 Come on baby don't be shy! What's your sign? I'm a Virgo! 1288 01:17:20,137 --> 01:17:23,862 Hey, we should take a ride in the countryside with the top down, your top off.. 1289 01:17:24,793 --> 01:17:29,517 AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! 1290 01:17:32,448 --> 01:17:36,379 Yea keep walking! Women.. 1291 01:17:38,758 --> 01:17:41,206 Oh... hey there buddy, you lost? 1292 01:17:42,586 --> 01:17:43,551 Come here boy! 1293 01:17:44,137 --> 01:17:44,310 [danger music] 1294 01:17:45,724 --> 01:17:47,413 You don't have a collar! I'm gonna name you Biscuit! 1295 01:17:47,413 --> 01:17:49,827 Hey, Biscuit! Come here boy! 1296 01:17:49,827 --> 01:17:52,965 Roll over! Roll over, Biscuit! You're a good boy! 1297 01:17:52,965 --> 01:17:53,448 [shrew noises] 1298 01:17:55,172 --> 01:17:58,310 [roaring] AHHHHHH!!!!! 1299 01:17:59,275 --> 01:18:00,137 [growling] 1300 01:18:02,862 --> 01:18:04,137 Let's get her and get the Hell out of here! 1301 01:18:04,758 --> 01:18:05,344 Cassandra!! 1302 01:18:05,965 --> 01:18:06,310 [war noises] 1303 01:18:09,517 --> 01:18:11,034 [roaring] [grunting] 1304 01:18:12,103 --> 01:18:15,758 I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorrrryyy! 1305 01:18:15,758 --> 01:18:19,034 I'm sorrrry! I'm sorrrryyy! 1306 01:18:19,793 --> 01:18:21,172 [spitting] I'm sorry! 1307 01:18:22,275 --> 01:18:24,241 I hope you don't have diseases! 1308 01:18:25,034 --> 01:18:26,862 Eeeeeeee!!! 1309 01:18:33,000 --> 01:18:36,275 [girly scream!] 1310 01:18:37,000 --> 01:18:38,620 [terrifying theme!] 1311 01:18:39,413 --> 01:18:41,482 [BLAM! BLAM!] 1312 01:18:44,965 --> 01:18:46,344 CASSANDRA! 1313 01:18:47,068 --> 01:18:48,137 Are you alright ma'am? 1314 01:18:49,137 --> 01:18:51,034 What the fuck was that thing?! 1315 01:18:51,034 --> 01:18:53,655 That was a KILLER SHREW! 1316 01:18:54,137 --> 01:18:54,724 A what?? 1317 01:18:55,310 --> 01:18:56,655 A KILLER SHREW! 1318 01:18:58,034 --> 01:19:00,103 You're saying that THAT was a KILLER SHREW?! [derp] 1319 01:19:00,103 --> 01:19:01,655 Yea! A KILLER SHREW! 1320 01:19:01,655 --> 01:19:02,448 [dundundunnn] 1321 01:19:02,448 --> 01:19:04,724 [jets roar overhead] 1322 01:19:04,724 --> 01:19:07,310 What the Hell was that??! 1323 01:19:07,310 --> 01:19:10,517 Those are the jets! They're about to drop the nuke! We gotta get outta here! This town's been evacuated! 1324 01:19:14,000 --> 01:19:16,034 [yelling] I said get outta here! 1325 01:19:16,793 --> 01:19:19,241 [missile roaring] 1326 01:19:22,068 --> 01:19:25,689 [menacing theme] 1327 01:19:28,965 --> 01:19:29,448 Ah! 1328 01:19:37,827 --> 01:19:38,689 [breathing] 1329 01:19:40,827 --> 01:19:43,862 [drum beats] 1330 01:19:43,862 --> 01:19:48,482 Hey shrew! You wanna dance? You wanna tango? Come on baby! 1331 01:19:48,965 --> 01:19:49,344 [clank] 1332 01:19:51,724 --> 01:19:52,206 [roar] 1333 01:19:52,689 --> 01:19:53,379 DERP!!! 1334 01:19:53,379 --> 01:19:54,000 [SPLAT!] 1335 01:19:54,758 --> 01:19:57,379 [missile roaring] 1336 01:19:58,241 --> 01:19:59,103 [menacing music intensifies] 1337 01:20:01,275 --> 01:20:02,137 [whimpering] 1338 01:20:02,758 --> 01:20:03,344 Cassandra! 1339 01:20:04,931 --> 01:20:05,827 Lewis! 1340 01:20:08,620 --> 01:20:09,413 [growling] 1341 01:20:10,000 --> 01:20:10,931 AHHHHHHHHH!!! 1342 01:20:11,655 --> 01:20:13,965 [screaming, roaring] 1343 01:20:15,448 --> 01:20:16,724 Cassandra noooo! 1344 01:20:17,448 --> 01:20:22,413 [chomping, screaming] 1345 01:20:24,137 --> 01:20:25,413 Oh my God, no!!! 1346 01:20:25,413 --> 01:20:26,206 C'mon Lewis, we gotta get out of here! 1347 01:20:26,206 --> 01:20:27,137 Leave me alone! 1348 01:20:27,137 --> 01:20:28,068 C'mon we gotta get outta here! 1349 01:20:28,068 --> 01:20:29,000 We were gonna get married! 1350 01:20:29,000 --> 01:20:30,000 You WERE gonna get married! 1351 01:20:30,620 --> 01:20:31,862 Oh Cassandra no! 1352 01:20:31,862 --> 01:20:33,517 Lewis come on we've gotta go! 1353 01:20:33,517 --> 01:20:34,551 Leave me alone! 1354 01:20:34,551 --> 01:20:36,448 They're gonna drop the nuke! 1355 01:20:37,034 --> 01:20:38,344 [roaring] [squish] 1356 01:20:39,586 --> 01:20:43,586 AHHHHH! Get back! Get back! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!! 1357 01:20:45,206 --> 01:20:46,931 [roar, CHOMP!] 1358 01:20:47,448 --> 01:20:49,034 [chomp!] 1359 01:20:49,827 --> 01:20:50,931 [action music picks up] 1360 01:20:51,758 --> 01:20:52,310 Help me! 1361 01:20:54,310 --> 01:20:55,586 Are you alright? 1362 01:20:55,586 --> 01:20:57,241 Yes! Where's Lewis? Where's Cassandra? 1363 01:20:57,241 --> 01:21:00,103 They're dead! Everybody's fuckin' dead! 1364 01:21:00,758 --> 01:21:01,413 [evil giggling] 1365 01:21:02,137 --> 01:21:02,689 Is that Murdock?? 1366 01:21:03,551 --> 01:21:04,482 Say hello to your grandpa! 1367 01:21:04,965 --> 01:21:05,137 [BLAM!] 1368 01:21:06,206 --> 01:21:06,931 [squeak!] 1369 01:21:08,965 --> 01:21:13,620 Blake! Before we die, there's something I need to tell you... 1370 01:21:13,620 --> 01:21:15,413 Hold that thought, there's Wayne! 1371 01:21:15,413 --> 01:21:16,620 Wayne, I knew you was alive! 1372 01:21:16,620 --> 01:21:18,620 You won't believe what I've been through! 1373 01:21:18,620 --> 01:21:20,724 Oh, I know what you've been through but we gotta stop that thing, look! 1374 01:21:21,448 --> 01:21:22,379 I've got a better idea! 1375 01:21:23,000 --> 01:21:23,103 [throttle] 1376 01:21:29,275 --> 01:21:31,034 It's coming! It's coming! 1377 01:21:34,862 --> 01:21:36,620 I told you he was blinkin'! 1378 01:21:38,793 --> 01:21:39,931 [action score builds] 1379 01:21:41,689 --> 01:21:42,965 [missile roaring] 1380 01:21:49,344 --> 01:21:52,724 I got ya! Come on! I'ma getcha! 1381 01:21:53,448 --> 01:21:54,137 [whoosh!] 1382 01:21:54,931 --> 01:21:56,724 [heroic theme plays] 1383 01:22:00,172 --> 01:22:04,551 HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yeaaah!!!! 1384 01:22:05,137 --> 01:22:06,310 [nuke explosion] 1385 01:22:06,931 --> 01:22:08,827 [rumbling] 1386 01:22:09,689 --> 01:22:12,517 I can't see! I can't see! 1387 01:22:12,517 --> 01:22:16,931 I looked right into it, they said ya can't look into it! I looked right into it! 1388 01:22:17,517 --> 01:22:17,758 Oh my God! 1389 01:22:18,896 --> 01:22:20,310 This was a gift from Giorgio Armani! 1390 01:22:22,310 --> 01:22:25,586 Where's my hat? Where the Hell's my... there's my hat! Where the Hell is Wayne?? 1391 01:22:27,241 --> 01:22:28,344 Wayne!! 1392 01:22:29,206 --> 01:22:31,758 Wayne! Where are you?! Wayne!!! 1393 01:22:36,034 --> 01:22:38,620 [DUN DUN DUNNNNN!!!!] 1394 01:22:40,620 --> 01:22:42,344 [DUNNNNNNNN!!!] 1395 01:22:45,310 --> 01:22:49,758 [theme] It was a dark and stormy night! The professor was feeling good! Lewis is about... to release the professor's book! Fiona's on the way! 1396 01:22:54,103 --> 01:22:59,103 [theme] The scientist is in the lab! Then it all went bad! Shrews are on the loose! 1397 01:23:01,586 --> 01:23:04,275 [theme] Fiona's car breaks! Sheriff's on the way! Cassandra's so hot! Everybody wants her! The shrews do too!!! 1398 01:23:09,000 --> 01:23:14,000 [theme] Doctor Murdock warns everybody! Sheriff calls for backup, which is his cousin! 1399 01:23:16,448 --> 01:23:21,137 [theme] Lewis searches for the safe in the house! The shrews are coming and they're gonna kill everybody!!! 1400 01:23:24,137 --> 01:23:28,586 [theme] Killer Shrews! Ya Shrews, Ya Lose! Whatcha gonna do when they come for you? They're big and ugly! They've got a taste for blood! 1401 01:23:33,965 --> 01:23:38,965 [theme] Save yourself! Vicious man-eating shrews! Killer Shrews! Ya Shrews, Ya Lose! Whatcha gonna do when they come for you? They're big and ugly, they've got a taste for blood! 1402 01:23:48,586 --> 01:23:53,586 [theme] Save yourself! Vicious man-eating shrews! It starts to get reeeeaaaaaaal!!!! 1403 01:23:56,655 --> 01:23:59,586 [theme] A shrew is humping Lewis! The professor gets his shotgun, and blows the shrew away! Backup arrives, Wild Wayne, which is his cousin! 1404 01:24:05,827 --> 01:24:10,827 [theme] They leave with Fiona on the way to town! They flip over the car! Shrews are everywhere! 1405 01:24:14,551 --> 01:24:19,551 [theme] Captain Jack Frost bitch lock down the town! Lock it down! He's yelling "hold the line!" 1406 01:24:22,068 --> 01:24:25,137 [theme] Shrews are taking over! Killing everybody! Time to drop the nuke! Wayne shows up outta nowhere on his motorcycle! 1407 01:24:30,724 --> 01:24:35,724 [theme] He grabs the nuke [what?!] right in his hands [what!!?!?] he's a crazy ass man everything is going ham!!! 1408 01:24:38,724 --> 01:24:42,931 [theme] Killer Shrews! Ya Shrews, Ya Lose! Whatcha gonna do when they come for you? They're big and ugly! They've got a taste for blood! 1409 01:24:48,551 --> 01:24:53,551 [theme] Save yourself! Vicious man-eating shrews! Killer Shrews! Ya Shrews, Ya Lose! Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?! 1410 01:25:00,448 --> 01:25:04,724 [theme] They're big! And ugly! They've got a taste for blood! Save yourself! Save yourself! 1411 01:25:06,172 --> 01:25:09,724 [theme] Vicious man-eating shrews! Run run ruuuun!!! 1412 01:25:14,482 --> 01:25:17,758 [theme] Shreeeeeeeeeews! 1413 01:25:19,310 --> 01:25:19,827 Yeah! 1414 01:25:20,413 --> 01:25:21,655 [clapping] 1415 01:25:21,655 --> 01:25:24,241 That was shrewtastic! Yeah I love this movie- 1416 01:25:24,241 --> 01:25:26,896 Hey whattya doin' ya old Mel Brooks looking' sonofabitch?!! 1417 01:25:26,896 --> 01:25:28,137 Hey hey hey! I'm watching the movie- 1418 01:25:28,137 --> 01:25:29,241 Get outta my house! This ain't the country club! 1419 01:25:29,241 --> 01:25:30,827 Wait! Just get out!!! 1420 01:25:30,827 --> 01:25:31,758 Hey wait a minute! I- 1421 01:25:31,758 --> 01:25:32,724 AHHHHHH! 93274