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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:26,027 I WOULDN'T LIKE TO BE A MAN 2 00:00:26,152 --> 00:00:29,280 A COMEDY IN THREE ACTS by Ernst Lubitsch 3 00:00:29,405 --> 00:00:31,824 Cast: 4 00:00:40,499 --> 00:00:43,711 Direction: 5 00:00:43,836 --> 00:00:48,132 Decoration and Set Design: 6 00:00:48,257 --> 00:00:50,092 FIRST ACT 7 00:01:43,062 --> 00:01:46,983 Is that proper for a young girl? 8 00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:08,963 I was playin' a bit o' poker. 9 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:16,679 When I was your age - -! 10 00:02:20,558 --> 00:02:24,645 Come on, that was a long time ago. 11 00:02:43,581 --> 00:02:48,210 I really don't understand how a lady can smoke. 12 00:03:22,036 --> 00:03:24,830 Now what's all this? 13 00:03:26,624 --> 00:03:30,753 I'm slugging back my troubles. 14 00:03:49,855 --> 00:03:55,444 Well, it looks like you've got a few nasty troubles of your own! 15 00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:22,429 Would you allow us to serenade you? 16 00:04:49,206 --> 00:04:52,626 We'd like something sweet too. 17 00:05:25,159 --> 00:05:27,953 Where are you off to, then?! 18 00:05:31,290 --> 00:05:35,211 Oh, if Petrus only knew about this...! 19 00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:09,453 Dearest Councillor of Commerce, 20 00:06:09,578 --> 00:06:15,793 The institution you have planned has now been founded. 21 00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:20,547 It is essential that you come. 22 00:07:30,075 --> 00:07:34,955 Behave yourself, so you make your governess very happy. 23 00:07:40,419 --> 00:07:44,465 See, you're supposed to be happy with me. 24 00:07:51,430 --> 00:07:56,602 And you want to be a refined young girl? 25 00:08:00,731 --> 00:08:03,525 I don't want that at all! 26 00:08:27,341 --> 00:08:31,720 I think the poor child's going to be pretty miserable. 27 00:08:51,323 --> 00:08:54,368 What are you up to? 28 00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:57,830 Dilly-dallying! 29 00:09:03,794 --> 00:09:07,172 What would your uncle say about this? 30 00:09:10,384 --> 00:09:14,012 Oh, I'm feeling pretty awful! 31 00:10:17,451 --> 00:10:20,579 Your new guardian. 32 00:10:38,222 --> 00:10:42,643 You're the guardian who's in for a rude awakening? 33 00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:58,367 Stand up when you're addressing me!! 34 00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:08,168 Now curtsy! 35 00:11:12,089 --> 00:11:13,799 Lower! 36 00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:40,909 Gracious Miss, your car is here. 37 00:12:02,306 --> 00:12:08,562 Young girls your age belong in bed at this time! 38 00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:34,129 I'll break you down yet! 39 00:12:53,565 --> 00:12:55,317 Down to here! 40 00:13:01,406 --> 00:13:05,118 What a petty man! 41 00:14:11,143 --> 00:14:15,480 Why didn't I come into this world as a boy. 42 00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:39,838 END OF THE FIRST ACT 43 00:14:39,963 --> 00:14:42,674 SECOND ACT 44 00:14:58,148 --> 00:15:01,693 I'd like an evening-suit. 45 00:15:15,916 --> 00:15:17,626 Measurements - 46 00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:32,557 By which gentleman do you wish to be served? 47 00:15:40,774 --> 00:15:44,152 Perhaps the gentlemen will compromise. 48 00:15:52,035 --> 00:15:54,996 Me - the left arm! 49 00:15:56,414 --> 00:15:59,000 Me - the right arm! 50 00:16:04,798 --> 00:16:08,677 And what'll be leftover here for me then? 51 00:16:25,986 --> 00:16:28,947 Ossi emancipates herself 52 00:16:59,811 --> 00:17:03,690 Good heavens does a man not have it easy. 53 00:17:25,629 --> 00:17:29,424 And this here's not as simple as it looks. 54 00:18:33,238 --> 00:18:35,824 The world's mine at any price! 55 00:19:11,109 --> 00:19:13,820 A charming lad! 56 00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:35,860 Such a cheeky boy - won't even stand up!! 57 00:20:50,708 --> 00:20:55,588 Well no need to make such a fuss! After all, you're a man! 58 00:21:00,510 --> 00:21:02,137 That's what you say! 59 00:21:10,103 --> 00:21:12,939 In the Mause-Palast 60 00:22:26,846 --> 00:22:30,141 Rough folk - these men! 61 00:23:08,846 --> 00:23:11,432 Take a look at this one! 62 00:23:58,354 --> 00:24:00,106 Well, junior? 63 00:25:05,338 --> 00:25:09,217 Ruthless people, these women! 64 00:25:53,553 --> 00:25:55,221 Stupid fellow! 65 00:26:14,407 --> 00:26:19,120 I'll seduce her away from him in no time. 66 00:26:59,243 --> 00:27:00,661 Don't clobber me! 67 00:27:02,705 --> 00:27:06,667 I swear I won't do it again. 68 00:27:21,224 --> 00:27:24,143 That's women! 69 00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:31,150 And you're here squabbling with me? 70 00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:45,331 END OF THE SECOND ACT 71 00:27:45,456 --> 00:27:49,293 "I Wouldn't Like to Be a Man!" THIRD ACT 72 00:27:49,418 --> 00:27:52,213 After the Ball's End 73 00:28:43,681 --> 00:28:47,727 You keep puffing - inhale already! 74 00:29:14,253 --> 00:29:17,590 You're making such a wretched face! 75 00:29:20,885 --> 00:29:24,055 I feel wretched, too! 76 00:30:42,007 --> 00:30:43,676 Maybe not, then. 77 00:31:00,860 --> 00:31:04,238 Well - how you doin' now? 78 00:31:06,657 --> 00:31:10,870 It's better not to ask! 79 00:31:19,295 --> 00:31:22,006 To brotherhood! 80 00:31:37,146 --> 00:31:40,024 What's your name, anyway? 81 00:31:47,156 --> 00:31:50,618 It's better not to ask! 82 00:32:17,394 --> 00:32:22,233 Today I'm noticin' for the first time that the earth's spinning! 83 00:33:09,655 --> 00:33:12,700 So where are we off to? 84 00:33:14,743 --> 00:33:17,830 Go straight ahead. 85 00:34:14,470 --> 00:34:18,515 Y'aren't quite on the wagon yerself. 86 00:34:40,871 --> 00:34:43,624 Ossi's his name? 87 00:34:47,252 --> 00:34:51,715 Oh, he's pissed all right! 88 00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:39,633 He's in the bathtub? 89 00:38:26,972 --> 00:38:31,101 I want to see my governess. 90 00:38:38,609 --> 00:38:42,654 Come now, wipe away your tears. 91 00:38:45,324 --> 00:38:48,535 I haven't got a handkerchief! 92 00:40:10,534 --> 00:40:13,704 Well well, what brings you here? 93 00:40:17,833 --> 00:40:21,211 I'm here to visit my cousin. 94 00:40:28,010 --> 00:40:32,472 Don't tell the little one anything of our adventure. 95 00:40:46,069 --> 00:40:47,738 Promise! 96 00:40:51,283 --> 00:40:54,161 The lass is pretty cute, too! 97 00:40:59,541 --> 00:41:02,252 I beg to differ. 98 00:41:30,655 --> 00:41:34,534 Well, already out of the bathtub? 99 00:41:36,119 --> 00:41:38,955 Out of which bathtub? 100 00:41:40,665 --> 00:41:43,377 Well, out of the bathtub. 101 00:41:47,172 --> 00:41:51,718 Naturally, one can't stay in there forever! 102 00:42:14,533 --> 00:42:18,870 Being a man, - that's exhausting stuff! 103 00:42:24,626 --> 00:42:29,047 Ossi has to get up. I'll wake her right away. 104 00:42:42,853 --> 00:42:46,731 No one wakes the way I wake! 105 00:42:50,026 --> 00:42:53,029 I'm an old alarm clock! 106 00:43:12,174 --> 00:43:15,802 That's right, the one and only! 107 00:43:19,097 --> 00:43:22,976 And you let yourself be kissed by me? 108 00:43:24,895 --> 00:43:28,148 Well - didn't you like how it tasted? 109 00:43:37,449 --> 00:43:40,785 I'll break you down yet! 110 00:43:47,626 --> 00:43:50,003 Down to here! 111 00:44:42,597 --> 00:44:45,225 I wouldn't like to be a man! 7108

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