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LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Okay, here we go. Let's start with our Jane.
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00:00:05,539 --> 00:00:07,239
As a child her grandmother
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00:00:07,241 --> 00:00:09,041
taught her to protect her flower.
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00:00:09,043 --> 00:00:10,743
And so Jane waited to have sex
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00:00:10,745 --> 00:00:12,578
until she married Michael.
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And then, well... you know.
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Yeah. I still miss him, too.
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00:00:17,051 --> 00:00:18,717
But it's been three years, and since then,
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Jane wrote a novel about their love story.
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And she recently decided she was ready to date again.
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Also ready to date, Alba.
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00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:29,361
See, she was crushing on her coworker Jorge,
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00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:31,063
and guess what. He asked her out.
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00:00:31,065 --> 00:00:33,632
And as for Rafael, well, he'd recently gotten closer
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00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:35,567
to his ex-wife Petra.
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00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:39,238
In fact, he was downrightinto her, lately. Only problem,
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00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:42,141
Petra was dating Chuck, the owner of the hotel next door.
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Plus, Petra had other problems.
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See, her former employee, Scott,
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00:00:46,180 --> 00:00:48,147
died on the grounds of the Marbella.
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And Scott used to be married
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00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:51,784
to her twin sister Anezka.
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00:00:51,786 --> 00:00:53,485
But Anezka was long gone,
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00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:55,754
and according to Petra, they were no longer in touch.
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But here's the thing-- Petra was lying.
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And the cops were on to her.
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Oh, and speaking of crime,
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00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:03,729
you'll recall Rafael's sister Luisa
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00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:05,831
was dating Eileen, but Eileen
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00:01:05,833 --> 00:01:08,233
is really her old girlfriend, Rose,
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00:01:08,235 --> 00:01:10,152
aka the crime lord Sin Rostro.
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I know, straight out of a telenovela, right?
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And speaking of telenovelas,
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Rogelio got a huge new part
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playing someone very tiny.
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Unfortunately, he felt chilly about his new costar Fabian.
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But Jane was positively hot for him.
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I know, right? I'm getting the tingles, too.
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So let's get busy, people.
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Ah, lust!
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Jane Gloriana Villanueva
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would never forget the first time she felt it.
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MAN (on TV):
Magdalena.
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(woman moaning)
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LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Unfortunately, she was sitting between her mother
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and grandmother at the time.
(woman moans)
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Más!
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Más! Más!
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LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Yeah, I'm uncomfortable, too.
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I'm gonna do some homework.
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LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
So, yeah,
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00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:08,260
they clearly didn't want to talk about it.
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00:02:08,262 --> 00:02:10,696
But, oh, how times have changed.
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Tell me everything.
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About what?
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00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:16,668
Come on, you're clearly
crushing on Fabian.
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I am not.
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00:02:18,239 --> 00:02:20,139
I am reading an article...
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about how underboob
is the new side boob.
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00:02:21,876 --> 00:02:24,643
Oh, please. You've been finding
the most ridiculous excuses
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to go see your father on set.
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LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
True, for the record.
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You forgot
your sides at home.
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♪ ♪
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We shot this yesterday.
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(sexy music plays)
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JANE:
Más...
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Más... Más...
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Fine. I may have
a small crush
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in that he may excite me
in a superficial way.
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So make a move.
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Mom, he dated Miss Universe,
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Shakira's backup dancer,
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and Gisele Bundchen's twin.
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00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:00,179
For someone
who's not interested,
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00:03:00,181 --> 00:03:01,580
you sure know a lot about him.
I'm just saying
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that I'm not his type.
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00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:03,949
And-and he's not my type.
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00:03:03,951 --> 00:03:05,184
Maybe not to date.
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00:03:05,186 --> 00:03:06,585
But what about a fling?
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00:03:06,587 --> 00:03:07,719
You ever open to that?
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With him?
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Oh, yeah.
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(laughs)
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(woman moans)
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So, just casual sex?
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No strings.
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Why not, right?
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I mean, I waited.
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00:03:37,218 --> 00:03:38,684
I did it.
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00:03:38,686 --> 00:03:41,620
But now, like,
everything's changed,
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00:03:41,622 --> 00:03:43,422
and, you know, what...
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00:03:43,424 --> 00:03:44,990
Oh.
(clears throat)
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She says with
an extra helping
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of guilt.
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00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:54,466
Not everyone wants
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to be celibate, Mom.
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00:03:55,669 --> 00:03:57,836
Hey, how did Jorge
take it?
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Hmm?
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00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:01,306
When you told him you
weren't gonna have sex.
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00:04:03,010 --> 00:04:05,477
Oh, my God,
you didn't tell him.
Ma.
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00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:11,550
JANE:
No kidding.
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Would you like me to give you
the advice you gave me?
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No.
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00:04:17,958 --> 00:04:20,525
Need a flower to destroy
in your angry fist?
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00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:21,893
Oh.
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00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:23,962
(phone ringing)
Oh.
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00:04:25,399 --> 00:04:28,367
Hey, Jeremy, what's up?
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00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:30,402
Wait, what?
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00:04:30,404 --> 00:04:33,005
So... that's it?
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00:04:33,007 --> 00:04:35,741
A big part of writing is knowing
when to put the pen down.
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Pen down.
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I love it.
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The plot really moves,
the emotional payoff is huge...
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and it's romantic as all hell.
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Ah.
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ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA
www.PSArips.com
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I can't believe I'm done.
Well, not done.
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Writing's only
the half of it, right?
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Now the fun part begins.
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We gotta drop it like it's hot.
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I'll bring the pot holder.
Great.
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00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:06,371
I set up a meeting with the
marketing and PR departments...
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00:05:06,373 --> 00:05:07,806
So they can figure out
how to market it
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00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:09,808
to booksellers and audiences.
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00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,376
That's amazing.
I know.
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00:05:11,378 --> 00:05:12,944
Anyway, what's up?
Why'd you call?
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00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:15,080
Ah, it's terrible timing.
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00:05:15,082 --> 00:05:18,317
What is?
Luisa's coming in tomorrow.
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00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:21,353
And we're pushing up
our annual shareholder meeting.
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Yeah, no problem.
I'll keep Mateo till she's gone.
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LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Can't blame them for being a little skittish
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around the ex-girlfriend of the woman who kidnapped their son.
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00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:29,995
I'm sorry for messing up
the schedule.
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00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:32,030
I just wish she would give us
notice for once.
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00:05:32,032 --> 00:05:34,399
It's fine.
(knocking on door)
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00:05:34,401 --> 00:05:35,701
I'll talk to you later.
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00:05:35,703 --> 00:05:37,803
Thank you, Jane. Bye.
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00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:42,407
So we set?
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
I know what you're thinking.
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Are we finally going to find out
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00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:45,811
what this shady dude is up to?
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00:05:45,813 --> 00:05:48,480
Yup, Luisa's suite is bugged.
And she won't find anything?
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00:05:48,482 --> 00:05:50,649
No way. I went in through
Petra's vent.
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00:05:50,651 --> 00:05:52,050
But trust me, if Rose tries
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to get in touch with your
sister, we'll know.
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00:05:54,054 --> 00:05:55,854
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Yup. Elvis isn't an ex-con
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00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:58,123
or a maintenance man; he's Raf's private eye.
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That explains a lot.
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00:05:59,727 --> 00:06:02,060
Or rather, I just explained it.
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00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:04,963
Good. My family will never feel
completely safe
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00:06:04,965 --> 00:06:07,065
until Rose is locked up
for good.
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LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
I know,
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00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:10,469
straight out of a telenovela, right?
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Also known as a scientist.
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00:06:42,770 --> 00:06:44,836
Again, scientist.
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DIRECTOR:
And cut!
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Fantastic.
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00:07:00,487 --> 00:07:03,121
It must be nice not to have to
worry about your body anymore.
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00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:05,123
Sometimes I feel
like a sex object.
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00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:09,060
It must be very
hard for you.
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00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:10,929
Not really, no.
So listen, Ro,
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00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,898
do you want a stunt double for
when you swing from her hair?
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00:07:12,900 --> 00:07:14,433
Well, I-I-I'd be
happy to do it.
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00:07:14,435 --> 00:07:15,867
I was an award-winning
stunt double
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before I discovered my talent
and passion for acting.
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00:07:17,438 --> 00:07:19,938
Rogelio de la Vega
does his own stunts,
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00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,640
thank you very much.
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00:07:21,642 --> 00:07:22,941
You're very welcome.
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00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:25,477
Selfie? Yeah?
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ELLIE:
No more pictures.
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We're just taking a test.
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For the Gifted and Talented
program. That's a big deal!
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Critters.
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I see critters.
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00:07:34,922 --> 00:07:36,188
(laughing):
Oh.
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Oh, now, why are
my legs so heavy?
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00:07:38,592 --> 00:07:40,826
Did I step in something?
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00:07:40,828 --> 00:07:43,628
I didn't know the girls
were hanging out with Chuck.
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00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:46,164
What happened
to our six-month rule?
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00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:48,200
You waited six months
to tell them about Abbey
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00:07:48,202 --> 00:07:50,235
and then broke up
with her anyway.
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00:07:50,237 --> 00:07:52,604
Besides, they only know
Chuck as Mommy's friend.
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00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:53,905
Hmm.
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00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:57,008
Hey, girls,
who's this guy?
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Mommy's boyfriend.
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00:07:58,779 --> 00:08:02,180
Smoochie, smoochie.
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00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:04,182
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Well, they are gifted and talented.
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00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:08,153
Not again.
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00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:10,055
I already told you guys
everything I know.
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00:08:10,057 --> 00:08:11,590
DANA:
Yeah, well,
unfortunately,
191
00:08:11,592 --> 00:08:14,092
there are a couple of
holes in your story.
192
00:08:14,094 --> 00:08:15,861
JANE:
My story.
193
00:08:15,863 --> 00:08:18,663
Me, 90 seconds. That's all
they need for the PR meeting.
194
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,932
A snapshot to help
sell the book.
195
00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:22,901
Well, you can start
practicing now with Fabian.
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00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:25,670
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Ah, yes. Jane and her wing mom.
197
00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:27,839
Don't worry.
I have a plan.
198
00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,274
What are those?
199
00:08:29,276 --> 00:08:30,609
FABIAN:
Oh, my God.
200
00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:32,577
Goji berries!
I love those so much!
201
00:08:32,579 --> 00:08:34,746
Are you serious? They're, like,
my favorite snack.
202
00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:37,182
No way. What
a coincidence.
203
00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:39,050
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Or the result of a deep dive
204
00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:41,653
Internet search.
Have one, please.
205
00:08:51,732 --> 00:08:54,766
Look at this. My hair is a mess,
my forehead is shiny,
206
00:08:54,768 --> 00:08:57,903
I'm holding a doughnut,
and he didn't even use a filter.
207
00:08:57,905 --> 00:08:59,538
You look fine.
Exactly.
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00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:01,573
"Fine."
209
00:09:01,575 --> 00:09:04,042
Fabian is clearly sabotaging me.
210
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,710
What?
He's trying
to get in my head.
211
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:07,212
First he comments on my weight,
212
00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:09,147
then on my ability
to do my own stunts.
213
00:09:09,149 --> 00:09:11,950
I am telling you, this is
an All About Eve situation.
214
00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:14,219
Are you sure you're not
overreacting?
215
00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:15,820
This is exactly what happened
in my telenovela,
216
00:09:15,822 --> 00:09:17,822
No Eres Tú, Yo Soy Yo, Somos Nosotros.
217
00:09:17,824 --> 00:09:20,158
One character tries to
sabotage another character?
218
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:21,192
What?
219
00:09:21,194 --> 00:09:23,128
No, I did it in real life.
220
00:09:23,130 --> 00:09:25,263
Have you ever heard
of Eduardo Espinosa?
221
00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:27,132
No.
Exactly.
222
00:09:27,134 --> 00:09:29,267
What?
223
00:09:30,637 --> 00:09:32,137
Wh-Wh-Wh... ?
224
00:09:32,139 --> 00:09:34,139
Why is Jane
giggling like that?
225
00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:35,640
Take a deep breath.
226
00:09:35,642 --> 00:09:37,576
She might have
a little crush.
227
00:09:37,578 --> 00:09:39,344
That's ridiculous. Jane
would never be interested
228
00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:41,279
in that throw pillow.
Why do you think
229
00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:43,949
she's been making excuses
to come see you all week?
230
00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:47,319
First he goes after my stunt,
231
00:09:47,321 --> 00:09:49,287
and now my daughter?
232
00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:51,089
Fasten your seat belt,
233
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:54,659
it's going to be
a bumpy afternoon.
234
00:09:54,661 --> 00:09:56,027
FABIAN:
So I massage my kale
235
00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:58,196
for half an hour
with olive oil.
Wow.
236
00:09:58,198 --> 00:09:59,981
That's amazing.
237
00:09:59,982 --> 00:10:01,765
I think super foods
are just so... super.
238
00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:03,234
(laughs)
239
00:10:03,236 --> 00:10:06,605
Excuse me, may I talk to my
daughter privately?
240
00:10:06,607 --> 00:10:08,206
Dad, where are we... what?
241
00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:10,241
Dad, what are you...?
242
00:10:10,243 --> 00:10:12,344
Dad, what is your problem?
243
00:10:12,346 --> 00:10:15,246
My problem is that you've been
pretending to come visit me
244
00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:18,049
to ogle Fabian's bee-stung lips.
245
00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:20,852
That's right.
Your mother told me
246
00:10:20,854 --> 00:10:23,388
all about your unholy
mega-crush on Fabian.
247
00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:26,257
And I forbid it.
248
00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:27,859
(gasps)
249
00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:39,304
See, Dad, look around.
Actual walls for privacy!
250
00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:42,207
I am sorry, Jane. I didn't
mean for Fabian to overhear.
251
00:10:42,209 --> 00:10:45,076
I'm just concerned. The
guy's a total playboy.
252
00:10:45,078 --> 00:10:47,245
I just don't want you
to get your heart broken!
253
00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:48,647
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
I don't think
254
00:10:48,649 --> 00:10:50,081
Jane's thinking about her heart.
255
00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:52,384
I know.... but I'm an adult.
256
00:10:52,386 --> 00:10:54,786
I can handle myself.
257
00:10:54,788 --> 00:10:57,756
Fine. I'll talk to Fabian
and make things better.
258
00:10:57,758 --> 00:11:03,028
No! Dad, you need to stay out
of it and let me handle it.
259
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:10,301
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Yeah, I bet you'll handle it, Jane.
260
00:11:10,303 --> 00:11:11,736
Jane!
(laughs)
261
00:11:11,738 --> 00:11:13,204
Oh, uh, sorry.
Forgot something.
262
00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:14,939
So embarrassed.
263
00:11:16,143 --> 00:11:18,176
(sighs)
264
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:20,378
Ay. Better.
265
00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:22,447
What's up?
266
00:11:22,449 --> 00:11:24,049
I just wanted to clear that up.
267
00:11:24,051 --> 00:11:25,750
I do not have a crush on you.
268
00:11:25,752 --> 00:11:27,185
My dad is a little
overprotective.
269
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:29,387
Well, don't worry.
I totally understand.
270
00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:30,855
You're his little daughter.
271
00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:32,390
Not little.
272
00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:34,693
Well, then again,
I'm tiny on the show.
273
00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:37,929
We need you
in your fitting.
Well, bye, Jane.
274
00:11:37,931 --> 00:11:39,698
I'm bringing you those
chia seeds tomorrow, eh?
275
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:41,199
You're gonna die.
Oh.
276
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,201
Right. Cool!
277
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:44,402
Actually, the opposite of die.
278
00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:45,870
You're gonna live
super extra long!
279
00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:47,405
Oh.
280
00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:49,407
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Stop leering, Jane.
281
00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:52,343
You, too, Alba.
282
00:11:57,384 --> 00:12:00,351
(groans)
283
00:12:04,858 --> 00:12:07,158
Ay.
284
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,794
(whipping)
285
00:12:11,832 --> 00:12:13,331
Stop it,
both of you!
286
00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:15,333
I am so, so sorry.
Let's go.
287
00:12:19,806 --> 00:12:21,740
Hmm.
288
00:12:23,009 --> 00:12:24,375
Hmm.
289
00:12:24,377 --> 00:12:28,146
(gasping)
290
00:12:28,148 --> 00:12:30,415
Jorge.
291
00:12:36,523 --> 00:12:38,790
(chuckles)
292
00:12:55,509 --> 00:12:57,108
(sighs)
293
00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:09,821
DANA:
No. We're not done.
294
00:13:09,823 --> 00:13:11,256
Your client's
story isn't true.
295
00:13:11,258 --> 00:13:13,258
We tapped
her computer.
296
00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:15,426
Is that legal?
With a subpoena, yes.
297
00:13:15,428 --> 00:13:17,562
Which we got after finding out
that you had just scooched
298
00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:19,497
Mr. Archuletta's bones over
to Mr. Chesser's property.
299
00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:21,466
DENNIS:
You said you didn't know
where your sister was,
300
00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:24,402
and you lied.
You've been e-mailing her.
301
00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:26,905
You don't have to say anything.
It's fine.
302
00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:28,573
I've been sending her money.
303
00:13:28,575 --> 00:13:31,109
Yes, but it's just
to keep her away.
304
00:13:31,111 --> 00:13:33,478
It has nothing
to do with Scott.
305
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,446
And I didn't
tell you earlier
306
00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:39,517
because, well, it's a personal
family drama between us.
307
00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:44,322
DENNIS:
Well, we need
to question Anezka.
308
00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:46,591
So you need to convince her
to return to Miami.
309
00:13:46,593 --> 00:13:48,159
I'd really prefer not to.
310
00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:49,527
Oh.
311
00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:51,162
Well, it's your choice.
312
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:53,565
Of course, if you don't,
we'll charge you
313
00:13:53,567 --> 00:13:55,500
with obstructing
a police investigation.
314
00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:57,368
On account of lying to us.
315
00:13:57,370 --> 00:13:59,537
Oh, and the bones.
316
00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:02,607
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
And speaking of criminal enterprises...
317
00:14:02,609 --> 00:14:05,443
You remember Luisa, right?
318
00:14:08,415 --> 00:14:10,582
And of course, her girlfriend, Eileen,
319
00:14:10,584 --> 00:14:12,851
who, you'll recall, is actually...
320
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:16,421
Which makes Luisa...
321
00:14:16,423 --> 00:14:18,590
EILEEN:
Do you like them?
322
00:14:18,592 --> 00:14:20,592
Yes, thank you.
323
00:14:20,594 --> 00:14:22,427
Well, you look
so good in linen.
324
00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:23,494
LUISA:
And...
325
00:14:23,496 --> 00:14:25,196
(rolling her tongue)
326
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:27,065
These are for Mateo.
327
00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:29,200
Mm.
I want my nephew
to know that
328
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:30,869
he has an auntie
that loves him,
329
00:14:30,871 --> 00:14:32,570
even if I'm not
allowed to see him.
330
00:14:32,572 --> 00:14:35,506
Even though he wouldn't exist
if it wasn't for me.
331
00:14:35,508 --> 00:14:37,575
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Yeah, I wouldn't brag about that, Dr. Alver.
332
00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:39,611
I'm just going
through some personal problems.
333
00:14:39,613 --> 00:14:42,947
And these are
for the twins.
334
00:14:42,949 --> 00:14:45,583
Mm.
Who I also hope
to meet very soon.
335
00:14:45,585 --> 00:14:48,119
Yes. Great.
We'll see.
336
00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:50,588
So, Raf, we saw a bunch
of cops around outside.
337
00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:52,323
What's that about?
338
00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:53,558
They're investigating
Scott's death.
339
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:56,895
I thought it was an accident.
340
00:14:56,897 --> 00:14:59,464
Yeah, well,
now they're not so sure.
341
00:14:59,466 --> 00:15:00,665
Did you...?
342
00:15:00,667 --> 00:15:01,633
(mouths)
343
00:15:03,136 --> 00:15:05,203
You know how hard it is
for me to fall asleep
344
00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:06,671
when I'm not in my own bed,
345
00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:08,239
so I got this contraption
that makes wave sounds.
346
00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:10,608
(loud wave sounds playing)
347
00:15:10,610 --> 00:15:12,677
(whispering):
Of course I did
not kill Scott.
348
00:15:12,679 --> 00:15:14,545
(quietly):
Oh, we were here
right around then.
349
00:15:14,547 --> 00:15:16,314
Are you saying
it was just a coincidence?
350
00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:18,416
Yes, because we were
together that whole trip.
351
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:20,385
We sent away the real Eileen,
and then we made love.
352
00:15:20,387 --> 00:15:22,220
There was no time for me
to have murdered him.
353
00:15:22,222 --> 00:15:24,522
But you did leave
the room once. Remember?
354
00:15:24,524 --> 00:15:27,492
I had to stop having sex
and then take a shower
355
00:15:27,494 --> 00:15:29,594
'cause the lotion
we were using gave me a rash?
356
00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:31,996
And then we figured we might
as well get some Chinese?
357
00:15:31,998 --> 00:15:35,033
And then, while I showered,
you went to get the food.
358
00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:37,435
No, I was going to go
pick up the Chinese food,
359
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:38,636
but we ended up
having it delivered,
360
00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:40,505
and the concierge
brought it up to us.
361
00:15:40,507 --> 00:15:42,106
Because at that point,
362
00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:44,442
the oil was starting to
bother me, too, remember?
363
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:47,111
(sighs)
364
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:49,580
And this is why I hate
coming to the Marbella,
365
00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:52,517
because we always
start fighting.
366
00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:54,285
I know.
367
00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:56,120
You're right.
368
00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:58,723
We need to switch
rooms, just in case.
369
00:15:58,725 --> 00:16:00,725
In case what?
370
00:16:00,727 --> 00:16:03,161
In case the cops are
here because of us...
371
00:16:03,163 --> 00:16:05,330
and your room is wired.
372
00:16:05,332 --> 00:16:07,598
You're being paranoid.
373
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:09,667
So, yes,
I was strongly influenced
374
00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:11,970
by the telenovelas
I grew up watching.
375
00:16:11,972 --> 00:16:14,706
But also by the romance novels
I grew up reading.
376
00:16:14,708 --> 00:16:18,142
And I think you feel
both influences in my book.
377
00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:19,610
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Relax, Jane.
378
00:16:19,612 --> 00:16:21,612
You have a whole two seconds of wiggle room.
379
00:16:21,614 --> 00:16:24,182
You're gonna crush this meeting.
380
00:16:24,184 --> 00:16:26,651
So, you probably want
to hear a little about me.
381
00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:28,219
Where to start?
382
00:16:28,221 --> 00:16:29,654
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
You're spiraling, Jane.
383
00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:31,356
You've practiced enough.
384
00:16:31,358 --> 00:16:33,124
Play chapter three.
385
00:16:33,126 --> 00:16:34,692
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Good, yes.
386
00:16:34,694 --> 00:16:36,694
A nice, juicy novel will help you relax.
387
00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:38,696
MAN:
Chapter three: selling yourself.
388
00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:40,198
Let's start with posture.
389
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,000
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Oy.
390
00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:43,468
Imagine a string
391
00:16:43,470 --> 00:16:46,637
attached to the crown
of your head, pulling upward.
392
00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:49,374
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Which brings us here... now.
393
00:16:49,376 --> 00:16:52,410
So, you probably want
to hear a little about me.
394
00:16:52,412 --> 00:16:54,178
Oh, stop. We know
all about you.
395
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:56,414
The artificial insemination,
the virgin birth,
396
00:16:56,416 --> 00:16:59,050
the kidnapping,
your husband's tragic death.
397
00:16:59,052 --> 00:17:01,419
Oh, wow.
398
00:17:01,421 --> 00:17:03,788
Well, it's an amazing
backstory, and the fact
399
00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:06,724
that it's all
thinly veiled in there--
400
00:17:06,726 --> 00:17:10,161
well, it gives us
a real angle to market.
401
00:17:10,163 --> 00:17:12,096
Right. Yes.
402
00:17:12,098 --> 00:17:13,631
Uh, here's the thing.
403
00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:16,334
I know it's a wild story,
but I actually think
404
00:17:16,336 --> 00:17:19,404
that if it's out there,
it would kind of take over.
405
00:17:19,406 --> 00:17:21,239
And it was
pretty traumatic,
406
00:17:21,241 --> 00:17:24,742
so I don't really want to talk
about any of that publicly.
407
00:17:24,744 --> 00:17:27,412
What?
I just want
to stick to the book.
408
00:17:27,414 --> 00:17:28,813
Answering questions like
409
00:17:28,815 --> 00:17:30,782
process, influences.
410
00:17:30,784 --> 00:17:32,750
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Remember the string, Jane.
411
00:17:32,752 --> 00:17:36,287
Uh, it's sort of a combination
of the telenovelas
412
00:17:36,289 --> 00:17:38,256
that I watched growing up,
plus the American...
413
00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:41,492
But if you talk about your life,
we can get you interviews.
414
00:17:41,494 --> 00:17:43,795
Print, radio.
415
00:17:43,797 --> 00:17:45,763
The Miami book fair's
this weekend.
416
00:17:45,765 --> 00:17:48,332
Maria Semple is moderating.
417
00:17:48,334 --> 00:17:49,767
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Oh, my God!
418
00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:51,436
One of her favorite authors!
419
00:17:51,438 --> 00:17:53,371
And mine. Okay, freaking out a little.
420
00:17:53,373 --> 00:17:54,839
Come on, Jane.
421
00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:57,075
I'm sorry.
422
00:17:57,077 --> 00:17:59,143
I really want the work
to stand on its own.
423
00:17:59,145 --> 00:18:03,181
Okay, well, uh, I think
we have all the info we need.
424
00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:05,783
We'll confer
and then get back to you
425
00:18:05,785 --> 00:18:07,685
about the size
of the initial print run.
426
00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:10,288
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Wow. All in under 90 seconds.
427
00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:19,831
I know everyone's upset.
428
00:18:19,833 --> 00:18:21,466
But we hadn't talked
about that past stuff.
429
00:18:21,468 --> 00:18:23,167
I didn't think
it was a secret.
430
00:18:23,169 --> 00:18:27,238
I mean, is that why you
wanted to publish my book?
431
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,307
No. I liked your writing.
432
00:18:29,309 --> 00:18:31,709
And I realized the marketing
team could sell you.
433
00:18:31,711 --> 00:18:34,612
It's all connected.
434
00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:37,482
Listen, it is what it is.
435
00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:39,750
I still love your writing, and
I think people are gonna buy it.
436
00:18:39,752 --> 00:18:43,321
It's just, the print run
is not as big as I had hoped.
437
00:18:43,323 --> 00:18:44,822
What's the number?
438
00:18:44,824 --> 00:18:46,290
10,000 copies.
439
00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:47,692
Oh.
440
00:18:47,694 --> 00:18:49,127
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Not great, FYI.
441
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:50,561
How are my chances
of getting into that book fair?
442
00:18:50,563 --> 00:18:52,497
What's your social media
presence?
443
00:18:52,499 --> 00:18:54,599
Snapchat, Instagram,
Twitter followers?
444
00:18:54,601 --> 00:18:58,669
You know... not as
many as I'd like.
445
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:05,309
(sighs)
Too bad.
446
00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:07,345
A big social media
following makes them think
447
00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:09,780
you'll draw attendees, which is
what the organizers are after.
448
00:19:09,782 --> 00:19:11,716
How many followers do I need
to get into the fair?
449
00:19:11,718 --> 00:19:14,485
20K, minimum,
but there's no way in hell
450
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:16,220
you're gonna get that many
followers that quickly.
451
00:19:18,191 --> 00:19:22,560
I happen to have a social
media expert in my family.
452
00:19:22,562 --> 00:19:24,695
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Now that's a Twitter feed!
453
00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:26,597
Jane, hi!
454
00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:28,833
Don't worry. I assure you
I am not here to see you.
455
00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:30,701
I just came to get
help from my dad.
456
00:19:30,703 --> 00:19:32,503
Oh, he pulled a muscle
doing a stunt.
457
00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:34,872
No, he's fine. He's just
having an emergency massage.
458
00:19:34,874 --> 00:19:36,541
Oh. (clears throat)
459
00:19:36,543 --> 00:19:39,544
Is everything okay?
Yeah. I just need his help
460
00:19:39,546 --> 00:19:41,245
getting Twitter followers
for this book fair.
461
00:19:41,247 --> 00:19:43,581
A book fair? Oh, does that mean
that you're an author?
462
00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:45,383
I am.
How did I not know that?
463
00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:47,718
I have a book coming out, too.
You wrote a book?
464
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:50,421
Every word of it.
Wow.
465
00:19:50,423 --> 00:19:52,723
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Wow.
Hey, since
you have a little time
466
00:19:52,725 --> 00:19:54,725
while your dad's
getting a massage,
467
00:19:54,727 --> 00:19:56,861
maybe you'd like
to go grab a cup of coffee?
468
00:19:56,863 --> 00:20:00,731
I would love to find out
more about you... and your book.
469
00:20:00,733 --> 00:20:03,634
Sure. I'd like that.
470
00:20:03,636 --> 00:20:07,305
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Hmm. Perhaps he's interested after all.
471
00:20:07,307 --> 00:20:09,774
Oh. Hi.
472
00:20:09,776 --> 00:20:10,841
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
He sure is.
473
00:20:10,843 --> 00:20:12,276
Hey.
474
00:20:12,278 --> 00:20:13,744
Just came by to check on you
475
00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:14,979
and drop off some backpacks.
476
00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:17,782
Hey, how'd your call
with Anezka go?
477
00:20:17,784 --> 00:20:19,784
Fine.
478
00:20:19,786 --> 00:20:21,385
I, uh, bought her a ticket,
479
00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:22,820
promised I'd buy her
an electric bike.
480
00:20:22,822 --> 00:20:23,754
She's on her way.
481
00:20:23,756 --> 00:20:25,790
You okay?
482
00:20:25,792 --> 00:20:27,825
Yeah. It'll be fine.
483
00:20:27,827 --> 00:20:29,327
She'll answer some
questions, then leave.
484
00:20:29,329 --> 00:20:30,861
Oh, come on.
It's got to be traumatic
485
00:20:30,863 --> 00:20:32,663
to see her again.
486
00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:33,864
Did you call
your therapist?
487
00:20:33,866 --> 00:20:35,833
CHUCK:
She don't need to call her.
488
00:20:35,835 --> 00:20:38,502
We talked about it a bunch.
She's fine.
489
00:20:38,504 --> 00:20:39,704
Appreciate the input, Chuck.
490
00:20:39,706 --> 00:20:40,805
But, you know,
you weren't around
491
00:20:40,807 --> 00:20:42,340
when Anezka was here.
492
00:20:42,342 --> 00:20:43,808
Well, Petra told me
all about her.
493
00:20:43,810 --> 00:20:44,775
Yeah, that's...
that's not really
494
00:20:44,777 --> 00:20:46,477
the same as actually being here.
495
00:20:46,479 --> 00:20:47,812
No.
496
00:20:47,814 --> 00:20:49,880
It's better.
You know, you're not
497
00:20:49,882 --> 00:20:50,798
living in the past.
498
00:20:50,799 --> 00:20:51,715
Look, I'm...
499
00:20:51,718 --> 00:20:53,985
I'm not living in the past.
500
00:20:53,987 --> 00:20:56,287
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Huh. Well, this feels familiar,
501
00:20:56,289 --> 00:20:57,455
doesn't it?
502
00:20:59,525 --> 00:21:01,292
You done?
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yeah.
503
00:21:01,294 --> 00:21:02,960
Sorry.
Great.
504
00:21:02,962 --> 00:21:04,962
I appreciate your concern.
505
00:21:04,964 --> 00:21:06,297
But I can handle my sister.
506
00:21:06,299 --> 00:21:07,999
(phone dings)
507
00:21:10,003 --> 00:21:11,502
ELVIS:
Your sister
508
00:21:11,504 --> 00:21:13,004
switched rooms.
Apparently the cannons
509
00:21:13,006 --> 00:21:15,373
for the pirate tour can
be heard from their suite.
510
00:21:15,375 --> 00:21:17,341
What do you want me to do?
511
00:21:17,343 --> 00:21:18,709
All right,
I'll shut off their AC.
512
00:21:18,711 --> 00:21:20,645
You go repair it
and put in a bug.
513
00:21:20,647 --> 00:21:22,013
FABIAN:
I must hear everything.
514
00:21:22,015 --> 00:21:23,814
Tell me
all about your book.
515
00:21:23,816 --> 00:21:26,550
Oh. Well, it's a romance novel.
516
00:21:26,552 --> 00:21:27,985
Of course it is.
517
00:21:27,987 --> 00:21:30,021
Yeah. It takes
place in 1902.
518
00:21:30,023 --> 00:21:31,555
Wh... Yes, yes, yes.
519
00:21:31,557 --> 00:21:33,291
Such a good year.
Such a good year.
520
00:21:33,293 --> 00:21:34,292
Oh, you know it?
521
00:21:34,294 --> 00:21:35,893
Well, if you chose it...
522
00:21:35,895 --> 00:21:37,895
it must be great.
523
00:21:37,897 --> 00:21:39,830
Oh.
524
00:21:39,832 --> 00:21:41,465
(chuckles)
525
00:21:42,468 --> 00:21:44,035
Tell me about your book.
526
00:21:44,037 --> 00:21:46,037
Uh, it's-it's a memoir.
527
00:21:46,039 --> 00:21:48,472
To help my fans
understand the real me.
528
00:21:48,474 --> 00:21:50,541
Not just the shirtless doctor
under a waterfall,
529
00:21:50,543 --> 00:21:53,077
or the shirtless detective
under a waterfall,
530
00:21:53,079 --> 00:21:56,047
or shirtless serial killer
under a waterfall.
531
00:21:57,317 --> 00:21:58,916
Can you pass the sugar?
532
00:21:58,918 --> 00:22:00,985
Oh, sure.
533
00:22:02,855 --> 00:22:05,323
I can't believe
you're doing this!
534
00:22:05,325 --> 00:22:06,424
After everything
we've been through!
535
00:22:06,426 --> 00:22:07,625
Excuse me?
You broke my heart,
536
00:22:07,627 --> 00:22:09,093
Jane Villanueva.
537
00:22:09,095 --> 00:22:10,661
I'm done.
538
00:22:14,734 --> 00:22:16,067
(shutters continue clicking)
539
00:22:21,674 --> 00:22:23,774
(exclaims)
Shh, shh. It's okay.
540
00:22:23,776 --> 00:22:25,076
It's me, Fabian.
(exclaims)
541
00:22:25,078 --> 00:22:27,111
That was incredible, no?
They're gonna think
542
00:22:27,113 --> 00:22:29,513
that you're my
lady for sure.
Who will?
543
00:22:29,515 --> 00:22:31,349
All the paparazzi I tipped
off. You say you needed
544
00:22:31,351 --> 00:22:32,750
more Twitter followers
to sell your book,
545
00:22:32,752 --> 00:22:34,118
and now you'll have them.
546
00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:36,020
My fans will
hate-follow you instantly.
547
00:22:36,022 --> 00:22:38,356
You... you did that so I could
get more Twitter followers?
548
00:22:38,358 --> 00:22:39,824
Exactly. For the book fair.
549
00:22:39,826 --> 00:22:42,126
Oh... Oh, that's...
550
00:22:42,128 --> 00:22:43,627
that's kind of sweet.
551
00:22:43,629 --> 00:22:45,429
(chuckles)
Thanks.
552
00:22:46,366 --> 00:22:48,366
Uh, will you tell
your dad for me?
553
00:22:48,368 --> 00:22:49,633
Excuse me?
554
00:22:49,635 --> 00:22:51,602
Oh, he's... my hero.
555
00:22:51,604 --> 00:22:53,504
Only I keep putting
my foot in my mouth
556
00:22:53,506 --> 00:22:55,106
every time I'm around him.
Mm.
557
00:22:55,108 --> 00:22:56,674
Will you put in
a good word for me?
558
00:22:56,676 --> 00:22:58,709
Uh, tell him that I
tried to help you?
559
00:22:59,846 --> 00:23:01,379
Sure.
560
00:23:01,381 --> 00:23:02,880
No problem.
561
00:23:02,882 --> 00:23:04,749
So... (chuckles)
562
00:23:05,718 --> 00:23:07,685
Hey, Dad.
Feeling better?
563
00:23:07,687 --> 00:23:10,388
So much better.
I am refreshed and reenergized
564
00:23:10,390 --> 00:23:12,556
and ready to help you
with all things social media.
565
00:23:12,558 --> 00:23:14,458
Let'sDoThis.
566
00:23:14,460 --> 00:23:16,460
Actually,
Fabian already helped me.
567
00:23:16,462 --> 00:23:18,629
Huh?
Dad.
568
00:23:18,631 --> 00:23:21,165
(exhales) I'm sorry.
I know I'm not allowed to say
569
00:23:21,167 --> 00:23:24,402
anything bad to you
about Fabian. It's just...
570
00:23:24,404 --> 00:23:26,470
he's been a little hard on me.
571
00:23:26,472 --> 00:23:28,139
What are you talking about?
He worships you.
572
00:23:28,141 --> 00:23:29,707
What?
Yeah.
573
00:23:29,709 --> 00:23:31,409
(scoffs)
For a second I thought
574
00:23:31,411 --> 00:23:33,577
he liked me
and I got all excited.
575
00:23:33,579 --> 00:23:36,480
But trust me: it's all you.
576
00:23:38,885 --> 00:23:41,485
I have to say, I'm a
little tired of everybody
577
00:23:41,487 --> 00:23:43,821
being so happy that
Fabian isn't into me.
578
00:23:48,928 --> 00:23:51,562
What happened to my
choice is my choice?
579
00:23:51,564 --> 00:23:53,664
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yeah,with that big helping of guilt.
580
00:23:55,435 --> 00:23:56,467
Wait for it.
581
00:24:07,547 --> 00:24:08,846
What?
582
00:24:08,848 --> 00:24:10,448
Hmm.
583
00:24:14,454 --> 00:24:16,153
Abuela, I'm so sorry.
584
00:24:30,603 --> 00:24:32,570
On the other hand,
585
00:24:32,572 --> 00:24:35,539
meaningless sex with me
would be so hot, Jane.
586
00:24:35,541 --> 00:24:38,809
Oh.
EILEEN:
It's so stinking hot in here.
587
00:24:40,613 --> 00:24:41,879
(sighs)
588
00:24:41,881 --> 00:24:43,214
Well, no wonder.
589
00:24:43,216 --> 00:24:44,715
The AC is broken.
590
00:24:44,717 --> 00:24:46,217
I'm gonna call the front desk
591
00:24:46,219 --> 00:24:47,885
and I'm gonna
have 'em come fix it.
592
00:24:47,887 --> 00:24:49,753
Don't you think it's
a little suspicious?
593
00:24:49,755 --> 00:24:52,690
That the AC is broken?
Right after we happen
to switch rooms?
594
00:24:52,692 --> 00:24:55,259
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Well, she's not a criminal mastermind for nothing.
595
00:24:55,261 --> 00:24:57,528
(phone dings)
596
00:25:02,502 --> 00:25:04,568
Aha-- you see? You see that?
597
00:25:04,570 --> 00:25:06,937
You're being paranoid.
Maybe. But I
am not leaving
598
00:25:06,939 --> 00:25:08,672
this room
unattended.
Well... (sighs)
599
00:25:08,674 --> 00:25:11,509
Then what am I supposed
to tell Rafael?
600
00:25:11,511 --> 00:25:13,711
I don't know what to tell you
except it blows.
601
00:25:13,713 --> 00:25:15,246
I couldn't get the book fair
to bite.
602
00:25:15,248 --> 00:25:17,515
But you said if I had
20,000 followers...
603
00:25:19,552 --> 00:25:22,052
I know, but my team did
analytics on your followers,
604
00:25:22,054 --> 00:25:23,287
and they're all
from Latin America,
605
00:25:23,289 --> 00:25:25,189
which won't convert
to book sales
606
00:25:25,191 --> 00:25:27,157
till it's translated to Spanish,
which it won't be
607
00:25:27,159 --> 00:25:28,259
if the first print run tanks.
608
00:25:28,261 --> 00:25:30,027
Ugh.
609
00:25:30,029 --> 00:25:32,796
I-I'm sorry.
I'm just frustrated.
610
00:25:32,798 --> 00:25:35,032
Yeah. Me, too.
611
00:25:35,034 --> 00:25:36,200
(sighs)
612
00:25:36,202 --> 00:25:38,002
So here's my
frustration.
613
00:25:38,004 --> 00:25:39,970
If you look up to me so much,
why would you assume
614
00:25:39,972 --> 00:25:41,572
I need a stunt double?
615
00:25:41,574 --> 00:25:43,240
And why would you
take that dig at me
616
00:25:43,242 --> 00:25:45,242
about not needing to take
my shirt off anymore?
617
00:25:45,244 --> 00:25:46,277
No, those-those weren't digs.
618
00:25:46,279 --> 00:25:47,878
I swear.
All I meant was that
619
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:49,813
the show would fall apart
if you got hurt.
620
00:25:49,815 --> 00:25:52,583
Without you,
the show is nothing.
621
00:25:52,585 --> 00:25:54,218
Just... my abs.
622
00:25:54,220 --> 00:25:55,819
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
I'd binge it.
623
00:25:55,821 --> 00:26:00,157
So this isn't an
All About Eve situation?
624
00:26:00,159 --> 00:26:02,893
Um, I-I don't know who Eve is.
625
00:26:02,895 --> 00:26:05,229
But I'm all about you, man.
(chuckles)
626
00:26:06,933 --> 00:26:08,632
I-I worship you.
627
00:26:08,634 --> 00:26:09,800
Ever since I was
a little kid, I...
628
00:26:09,802 --> 00:26:11,869
That's enough about that.
629
00:26:11,871 --> 00:26:14,772
And no more using my daughter
630
00:26:14,774 --> 00:26:17,241
and toying with her feelings.
631
00:26:17,243 --> 00:26:18,676
Jane?
Yes.
632
00:26:18,678 --> 00:26:20,144
She's brilliant and beautiful,
633
00:26:20,146 --> 00:26:21,612
with the soul of Gandhi
634
00:26:21,614 --> 00:26:22,913
and the talent of Shakespeare.
635
00:26:22,915 --> 00:26:25,616
But you do not mess
with her emotions.
636
00:26:25,618 --> 00:26:27,751
You don't have to worry--
she said she didn't like me.
637
00:26:27,753 --> 00:26:29,820
(short chuckle)
638
00:26:29,822 --> 00:26:32,356
Okay. General rule:
639
00:26:32,358 --> 00:26:36,226
when you look like we do,
you can never rule that out.
640
00:26:36,228 --> 00:26:37,728
Ah! I get it.
(laughs)
641
00:26:37,730 --> 00:26:39,096
I understand.
642
00:26:39,098 --> 00:26:41,899
Thank you.
643
00:26:41,901 --> 00:26:44,768
Hey, uh, you want to get
our nails done after work?
644
00:26:44,770 --> 00:26:46,170
We're gonna be
climbing that hair
645
00:26:46,172 --> 00:26:48,072
all week.
That means a lot of hand acting.
646
00:26:50,009 --> 00:26:51,976
Actually, I can't.
647
00:26:53,112 --> 00:26:55,245
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Hmm. Rogelio's never
648
00:26:55,247 --> 00:26:57,982
turned down a good, clear polish before.
649
00:26:57,984 --> 00:27:00,684
JANE:
"A polished and lively debut"?
650
00:27:00,686 --> 00:27:02,686
Something like that?
I just need a quick blurb
651
00:27:02,688 --> 00:27:04,288
about my book,
anything would help.
652
00:27:04,290 --> 00:27:06,156
From me? I'm flattered.
653
00:27:06,158 --> 00:27:09,259
Well... sort of more from your
well-known writer friends.
654
00:27:09,261 --> 00:27:12,329
You're kind of blurb-adjacent.
655
00:27:12,331 --> 00:27:14,365
Oh, I see how it is. You only
come when you need a favor.
656
00:27:14,367 --> 00:27:16,700
That is not true.
I am here every week.
657
00:27:16,702 --> 00:27:18,736
Yeah.
658
00:27:18,738 --> 00:27:21,372
But, yes, I do happen
to need one today.
659
00:27:21,374 --> 00:27:25,342
The publisher
only ordered 10,000 copies.
660
00:27:25,344 --> 00:27:26,710
Ooh.
661
00:27:26,712 --> 00:27:28,679
I know. Actually,
662
00:27:28,681 --> 00:27:30,347
you're probably the one person
who will understand this,
663
00:27:30,349 --> 00:27:32,416
but I am trying
to fight for my art.
664
00:27:32,418 --> 00:27:35,019
What do you mean?
Well, I could get them
665
00:27:35,021 --> 00:27:37,121
to print more copies and give
a bigger marketing budget
666
00:27:37,123 --> 00:27:40,858
if I agree to talk about
my whole crazy backstory.
667
00:27:40,860 --> 00:27:42,393
But of course I said no,
because
668
00:27:42,395 --> 00:27:44,428
I want my book
to stand on its own.
669
00:27:44,430 --> 00:27:46,263
Oh, don't be an idiot.
670
00:27:46,265 --> 00:27:49,033
What?
I was once like you,
671
00:27:49,035 --> 00:27:50,868
so full of integrity.
672
00:27:50,870 --> 00:27:54,805
Oh...
You know what being precious
about your art gets you?
673
00:27:56,776 --> 00:27:59,276
And there's a storage locker
in Boca with the other
674
00:27:59,278 --> 00:28:01,712
7,000 unsold copies.
675
00:28:01,714 --> 00:28:04,314
Trust me. Sell it with
everything you've got.
676
00:28:04,316 --> 00:28:07,785
'Cause you don't get
a second debut novel.
677
00:28:24,003 --> 00:28:26,737
Hey, Jeremy, it's Jane.
Oh, hi, Jane.
678
00:28:26,739 --> 00:28:27,971
I've decided
that the marketing people
679
00:28:27,973 --> 00:28:29,473
can sell the book
however they want.
680
00:28:29,475 --> 00:28:30,841
What? You serious?
681
00:28:30,843 --> 00:28:32,076
Just get me into
the book fair, okay?
682
00:28:32,078 --> 00:28:33,310
On it, yes.
683
00:28:40,086 --> 00:28:41,785
LUISA:
What's wrong?
684
00:28:41,787 --> 00:28:43,987
I just... I thought Eileen
was joining us for dinner.
685
00:28:43,989 --> 00:28:45,723
It's my fault.
I forgot that her guru
686
00:28:45,725 --> 00:28:48,092
is in town for a one-night-only
breathing circle.
687
00:28:48,094 --> 00:28:50,461
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Okay, good. So she's still out of the room.
688
00:28:50,463 --> 00:28:51,962
Oh, two
virgin daiquiris.
689
00:28:55,334 --> 00:28:57,000
You're on your phone.
690
00:28:57,002 --> 00:28:58,502
Already.
What are you doing?
691
00:28:58,504 --> 00:29:00,070
Well, clearly, you only like
692
00:29:00,072 --> 00:29:01,939
hanging out with me
when I'm with Eileen.
693
00:29:01,941 --> 00:29:03,741
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Quick, get her to sit back down!
694
00:29:03,743 --> 00:29:05,008
That's not true.
695
00:29:05,010 --> 00:29:06,510
It's not.
696
00:29:06,512 --> 00:29:08,412
Hey, the last couple years,
697
00:29:08,414 --> 00:29:09,913
things have been
really good with us.
698
00:29:09,915 --> 00:29:11,482
Good enough for me
to see your kids?
699
00:29:11,484 --> 00:29:15,352
It's worth having
a longer conversation about.
700
00:29:15,354 --> 00:29:16,854
(sighs)
701
00:29:16,856 --> 00:29:18,856
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Good job, Raf.
702
00:29:20,993 --> 00:29:23,060
(sighs)
703
00:29:33,339 --> 00:29:35,939
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Oh, my God, I can't take this.
704
00:29:35,941 --> 00:29:37,207
I don't even know if I'm rooting for him
705
00:29:37,209 --> 00:29:38,909
to catch her or not.
706
00:29:48,821 --> 00:29:50,020
What the hell?!
707
00:29:50,022 --> 00:29:52,222
I'm so sorry, ma'am.
708
00:29:52,224 --> 00:29:53,490
Ever heard of knocking?
There was a complaint
709
00:29:53,492 --> 00:29:54,892
about the AC on the floor.
Go! Go!
710
00:29:54,894 --> 00:29:56,527
This is so humiliating.
711
00:29:56,529 --> 00:29:58,529
(door closes)
712
00:29:58,531 --> 00:30:01,498
JANE:
"Straight out of a telenovela.
713
00:30:01,500 --> 00:30:02,833
"That's what comes to mind
when you hear
714
00:30:02,835 --> 00:30:04,234
"Jane Villanueva's story.
715
00:30:04,236 --> 00:30:06,870
"And all that and more
is poured into this vibrant
716
00:30:06,872 --> 00:30:08,872
and lively debut."
So you're really
717
00:30:08,874 --> 00:30:11,575
doing it?
It's "on the book fair
Web site" official.
718
00:30:12,978 --> 00:30:14,545
The more you talk
719
00:30:14,547 --> 00:30:17,481
about Michael,
the easier it will get.
720
00:30:17,483 --> 00:30:20,050
Hmm.
721
00:30:27,526 --> 00:30:30,561
I know.
722
00:30:30,563 --> 00:30:32,963
It already is.
723
00:30:40,272 --> 00:30:41,872
I'm scared.
724
00:30:41,874 --> 00:30:43,507
(sniffles)
725
00:30:43,509 --> 00:30:45,509
I don't...
726
00:30:45,511 --> 00:30:47,077
I just...
727
00:30:47,079 --> 00:30:50,380
I don't want Michael
to be an anecdote, you know?
728
00:30:50,382 --> 00:30:52,916
Something that once happened.
729
00:31:11,937 --> 00:31:14,571
(exhales)
730
00:31:17,109 --> 00:31:19,543
(sighs)
731
00:31:42,635 --> 00:31:44,902
(sighs)
732
00:31:46,171 --> 00:31:50,607
And this book is part
of that process because I...
733
00:31:50,609 --> 00:31:53,677
wrote the happily ever after
I never got.
734
00:31:53,679 --> 00:31:57,381
Your real life story
sounds so crazy.
735
00:31:57,383 --> 00:31:59,950
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
OMG, I can't believe it.
736
00:31:59,952 --> 00:32:01,585
First Britney, then Bruno,
737
00:32:01,587 --> 00:32:03,220
now Maria Semple?
738
00:32:03,222 --> 00:32:04,688
The accidental pregnancy,
739
00:32:04,690 --> 00:32:06,957
the kidnapping.
740
00:32:06,959 --> 00:32:08,558
You talked
about your late husband.
741
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:11,395
How much of the rest
made it into the book?
742
00:32:11,397 --> 00:32:13,430
Let's just say
there's a lot in there.
743
00:32:13,432 --> 00:32:15,165
Thinly veiled.
Any hesitation
744
00:32:15,167 --> 00:32:16,500
talking about this stuff?
745
00:32:16,502 --> 00:32:18,235
Oh, yeah. Tons.
746
00:32:18,237 --> 00:32:20,971
Because with writing
comes exposure,
747
00:32:20,973 --> 00:32:22,406
and with exposure
comes vulnerability.
748
00:32:22,408 --> 00:32:23,941
And there are all these stages
749
00:32:23,943 --> 00:32:26,276
of exposing yourself.
750
00:32:26,278 --> 00:32:27,678
First with writing the book.
751
00:32:27,680 --> 00:32:29,580
Then marketing it.
752
00:32:29,581 --> 00:32:31,481
Uh, and the last is
people reading the book.
753
00:32:31,483 --> 00:32:33,016
That's important,
754
00:32:33,018 --> 00:32:34,418
because otherwise I'd just
be writing in my diary.
755
00:32:34,420 --> 00:32:36,153
So please go buy the
book. Please, please.
756
00:32:36,155 --> 00:32:37,287
(laughter)
757
00:32:37,289 --> 00:32:39,089
(chuckles)
758
00:32:42,194 --> 00:32:44,194
(romantic Spanish song playing)
759
00:32:56,742 --> 00:33:00,010
Mommy, I want to read your book.
760
00:33:00,012 --> 00:33:01,979
When you're older,
Mr. Sweetface.
761
00:33:01,981 --> 00:33:04,014
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Much, much older.
762
00:33:04,016 --> 00:33:06,016
I've read it. It's racy.
763
00:33:06,018 --> 00:33:07,017
Sorry to interrupt,
764
00:33:07,019 --> 00:33:08,385
but I just had to say hello.
765
00:33:08,387 --> 00:33:10,420
Oh, hello.
My friend works at
a publishing house
766
00:33:10,422 --> 00:33:12,422
and got me an advance copy
of your book.
767
00:33:12,424 --> 00:33:13,724
I loved it so much.
768
00:33:13,726 --> 00:33:15,659
Wow, really?
769
00:33:15,660 --> 00:33:17,593
You're the first person
who's read it who I don't know.
770
00:33:17,596 --> 00:33:19,730
I didn't get out of my pajamas
until I finished.
771
00:33:19,732 --> 00:33:22,199
You are making my life
right now.
772
00:33:22,201 --> 00:33:23,700
Can I take a picture with you?
773
00:33:23,702 --> 00:33:25,268
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Is Jane fangirling out
774
00:33:25,270 --> 00:33:27,070
on her first fan?
Only if you agree
775
00:33:27,072 --> 00:33:28,071
to sign this for me.
776
00:33:28,073 --> 00:33:29,272
You want my autograph?
777
00:33:29,274 --> 00:33:30,824
Mm-hmm.
778
00:33:30,825 --> 00:33:32,375
(exhales excitedly)
Aw.
779
00:33:32,378 --> 00:33:35,212
I am passing the baton.
780
00:33:41,020 --> 00:33:44,121
JANE:
I mean...
781
00:33:44,123 --> 00:33:47,424
it was only three autographs,
but it was kind of awesome.
782
00:33:47,426 --> 00:33:49,292
And I can't believe
I'm even saying that.
783
00:33:49,294 --> 00:33:51,061
Good, you deserved it.
784
00:33:51,063 --> 00:33:54,031
Celebrate
in your room tonight...
785
00:33:54,033 --> 00:33:55,265
with this.
786
00:33:55,267 --> 00:33:56,767
Don't be gross.
787
00:33:56,769 --> 00:33:58,252
I'm over Fabian.
788
00:33:58,253 --> 00:33:59,736
He texted and said he'd come
to the book fair,
789
00:33:59,738 --> 00:34:00,804
and then he bailed on me.
790
00:34:02,107 --> 00:34:03,440
Fame is my new lover.
791
00:34:03,442 --> 00:34:05,575
(doorbell rings)
792
00:34:08,781 --> 00:34:10,247
(exhales)
793
00:34:11,817 --> 00:34:13,283
Oh, can we talk?
794
00:34:19,425 --> 00:34:21,792
Fabian, what are you doing here?
795
00:34:21,794 --> 00:34:24,528
I... (grunts)
Oh.
796
00:34:27,132 --> 00:34:28,565
I... I couldn't stop
thinking about you
797
00:34:28,567 --> 00:34:29,766
after the book fair.
798
00:34:29,768 --> 00:34:31,601
You were there?
799
00:34:31,603 --> 00:34:34,604
Why didn't you say hello?
800
00:34:34,606 --> 00:34:36,773
I was too nervous.
801
00:34:36,775 --> 00:34:38,075
What?
Your words
802
00:34:38,077 --> 00:34:39,109
were so incredible.
803
00:34:39,110 --> 00:34:40,142
What you said
about being exposed,
804
00:34:40,145 --> 00:34:41,678
it-it really spoke to me.
805
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:44,648
And I think you'll see why
when you read my book.
806
00:34:44,650 --> 00:34:46,683
Oh.
807
00:34:46,685 --> 00:34:48,351
I can't wait to open it.
808
00:34:48,353 --> 00:34:50,187
That's my book.
Yeah, you just said.
809
00:34:50,189 --> 00:34:51,588
(clears throat)
810
00:34:51,590 --> 00:34:53,090
Also, I spoke to your dad,
811
00:34:53,092 --> 00:34:54,458
and I told him
that I was coming here
812
00:34:54,460 --> 00:34:55,826
and that I wanted
to ask you out.
813
00:34:55,828 --> 00:34:58,528
(grunts)
He said it's okay.
814
00:34:58,530 --> 00:35:00,530
He did?
815
00:35:00,532 --> 00:35:01,865
Is that what's happening?
816
00:35:01,867 --> 00:35:03,567
It is.
817
00:35:03,569 --> 00:35:05,569
(gasps)
818
00:35:05,571 --> 00:35:08,405
Will you go on a date with me,
Jane Villanueva?
819
00:35:09,408 --> 00:35:12,409
I would love to.
820
00:35:13,345 --> 00:35:15,245
(romantic Spanish song playing)
821
00:35:15,247 --> 00:35:17,347
(record scratches)
822
00:35:17,349 --> 00:35:20,317
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Oh, this is really happening.
823
00:35:20,319 --> 00:35:22,719
I guess the sprinklers are just on timers.
824
00:35:22,721 --> 00:35:25,455
So, what time
does Anezka get in?
Noon.
825
00:35:25,457 --> 00:35:27,624
Okay, girls.
Have a great day at school.
826
00:35:27,626 --> 00:35:29,326
I'll come get you
after martial arts.
827
00:35:29,328 --> 00:35:30,594
ELLIE:
Bye, Mommy.
828
00:35:30,596 --> 00:35:32,162
Okay, come on.
829
00:35:32,164 --> 00:35:33,463
Come on.
830
00:35:33,465 --> 00:35:34,731
(chuckles)
831
00:35:34,733 --> 00:35:36,566
Call me if you need anything.
832
00:35:39,771 --> 00:35:43,607
Okay, so, when are
we gonna have a talk
833
00:35:43,609 --> 00:35:47,277
about the fact that your ex
still has the hots for you?
834
00:35:47,279 --> 00:35:49,479
(chuckles) What?
835
00:35:49,481 --> 00:35:51,481
No, he doesn't.
Yes, he does.
836
00:35:51,483 --> 00:35:52,849
And if you can't see it,
837
00:35:52,851 --> 00:35:56,820
you're blinder than a
bat in a chimney fire.
838
00:35:56,822 --> 00:35:59,589
Stop. You're being ridiculous.
839
00:36:04,630 --> 00:36:06,429
Um...
840
00:36:09,601 --> 00:36:10,934
(sighs)
841
00:36:59,251 --> 00:37:01,885
ROGELIO:
I heard the great news.
842
00:37:01,887 --> 00:37:04,621
They upped your book order.
843
00:37:04,623 --> 00:37:05,889
Well, it's only
5,000 more copies.
844
00:37:05,891 --> 00:37:08,858
But it's something.
845
00:37:09,795 --> 00:37:12,696
Oh, and you're here
to see Fabian.
846
00:37:12,698 --> 00:37:14,798
Wait, he said he spoke to you.
847
00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:16,700
Of course. Of course, yes.
Go to him.
848
00:37:16,702 --> 00:37:18,001
You okay, Dad?
849
00:37:18,003 --> 00:37:19,736
O-Oh, yes.
850
00:37:19,738 --> 00:37:21,355
I just have to accept
851
00:37:21,356 --> 00:37:22,973
that I'm no longer the only
telenovela star in your life.
852
00:37:22,975 --> 00:37:23,974
Hey.
853
00:37:23,976 --> 00:37:26,576
You're still the main one, okay?
854
00:37:30,682 --> 00:37:34,251
(chuckles)
855
00:37:34,253 --> 00:37:36,853
You're a great actor, Rogelio.
856
00:37:36,855 --> 00:37:39,589
I know. Thank you.
But you can't fool me.
857
00:37:39,591 --> 00:37:41,524
What's really going on?
858
00:37:41,526 --> 00:37:44,527
It's just hard thinking about
Jane dating someone new.
859
00:37:44,529 --> 00:37:47,464
And I know it's not fair.
I know she has to move on.
860
00:37:47,466 --> 00:37:49,032
No, it's okay.
861
00:37:49,034 --> 00:37:51,534
I just don't want
to start getting mani-pedis
862
00:37:51,536 --> 00:37:52,836
with Fabian.
863
00:37:58,510 --> 00:38:02,512
Michael was my best friend.
864
00:38:02,514 --> 00:38:04,581
I really loved him.
865
00:38:04,583 --> 00:38:07,917
And I still think about him
every single day.
866
00:38:07,919 --> 00:38:10,520
I know.
867
00:38:10,522 --> 00:38:13,290
A-And I never want
to burden Jane.
868
00:38:13,292 --> 00:38:16,326
I know that, too.
869
00:38:16,328 --> 00:38:18,395
Thank you for telling me.
870
00:38:18,397 --> 00:38:20,797
Mm-hmm.
And trust me...
871
00:38:20,799 --> 00:38:23,833
Fabian is not
taking Michael's place.
872
00:38:33,412 --> 00:38:35,378
Actually, Abuela,
873
00:38:35,380 --> 00:38:36,479
technically they aren't selfies.
874
00:38:36,481 --> 00:38:38,381
They're stills from his snaps.
875
00:38:38,383 --> 00:38:39,482
Mmm.
876
00:38:44,623 --> 00:38:45,989
(laughs)
877
00:38:45,991 --> 00:38:48,725
What's with all the giggling?
878
00:38:48,727 --> 00:38:49,893
We're reading Fabian's book.
879
00:38:49,895 --> 00:38:52,062
"Chillin' in Capri pants
in Capri.
880
00:38:52,064 --> 00:38:54,431
CapriToBeYouAndMe."
881
00:38:54,433 --> 00:38:55,632
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Hey, he wrote that himself.
882
00:38:55,634 --> 00:38:57,367
Let's give him some credit.
Oh, my God.
883
00:38:57,369 --> 00:38:58,635
Let me see it.
Oh, my God.
884
00:38:58,637 --> 00:39:01,538
(gasps) Oh, wow.
885
00:39:01,540 --> 00:39:02,972
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
886
00:39:02,974 --> 00:39:04,908
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR;
Aw, what a difference
887
00:39:04,910 --> 00:39:06,376
20 years makes.
888
00:39:06,378 --> 00:39:08,445
(sighs)
You may have to be married
889
00:39:08,447 --> 00:39:10,980
to have sex, Abuela,
but I do not. And trust.
890
00:39:10,982 --> 00:39:13,450
I am gonna hit this.
(gasps)
891
00:39:13,452 --> 00:39:14,968
(Jane and Xiomara laugh)
892
00:39:14,969 --> 00:39:16,485
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Also about to get screwed?
893
00:39:16,488 --> 00:39:17,887
Anezka should have landed
by now.
894
00:39:17,889 --> 00:39:19,656
Okay, calm down.
She's not that late.
895
00:39:19,658 --> 00:39:21,658
I can't calm down.
You have no idea
896
00:39:21,660 --> 00:39:22,692
what she's capable of doing.
897
00:39:27,532 --> 00:39:29,432
Why isn't she answering?
898
00:39:29,434 --> 00:39:31,101
She's probably
just getting her luggage.
899
00:39:31,103 --> 00:39:33,937
No. Something is off.
900
00:39:33,939 --> 00:39:35,905
You're wrong.
I am not.
901
00:39:35,907 --> 00:39:38,641
And I am sick of being cooped up
902
00:39:38,643 --> 00:39:40,076
in this sweaty room.
903
00:39:40,078 --> 00:39:43,546
So I am going to put my face
back on,
904
00:39:43,548 --> 00:39:45,081
and then we are going to leave.
905
00:39:45,083 --> 00:39:46,950
No.
906
00:39:46,952 --> 00:39:49,652
What?
907
00:39:49,654 --> 00:39:51,554
I don't want to leave.
908
00:39:51,556 --> 00:39:54,624
I'm finally having
a breakthrough
909
00:39:54,626 --> 00:39:57,160
with Rafael,
and I might meet his kids.
910
00:39:57,162 --> 00:39:58,695
Well...
911
00:39:58,697 --> 00:40:01,131
we can't stay.
912
00:40:01,133 --> 00:40:03,466
Please.
913
00:40:03,468 --> 00:40:06,703
I'm leaving, Luisa.
914
00:40:08,673 --> 00:40:10,607
Are you coming with me?
915
00:40:10,609 --> 00:40:12,709
PETRA:
Hello?
916
00:40:12,711 --> 00:40:15,011
ANEZKA: Sister.
Anezka, where are you? You were
supposed to get in a cab
917
00:40:15,013 --> 00:40:16,329
and come straight
to the Marbella.
918
00:40:16,330 --> 00:40:17,646
Well, I couldn't do that because
when I got off the plane,
919
00:40:17,649 --> 00:40:18,948
the police were arresting me.
920
00:40:18,950 --> 00:40:20,517
Wait, what?
921
00:40:20,519 --> 00:40:21,851
You said they were
just going to ask questions
922
00:40:21,853 --> 00:40:23,486
and then
I would get electric bike.
923
00:40:23,488 --> 00:40:25,021
Yeah, well...
that's what they said.
924
00:40:25,023 --> 00:40:26,790
I'm in jail, Petra.
925
00:40:26,792 --> 00:40:28,658
No. No, no, no.
That... That wasn't the deal.
926
00:40:28,660 --> 00:40:30,493
No, they promised
it was just questions.
927
00:40:30,495 --> 00:40:31,961
Well, you better fix this,
928
00:40:31,963 --> 00:40:34,164
or I will tell them all
what I know.
929
00:40:34,166 --> 00:40:37,167
And then you, sister, will be
in orange jumpsuit with me.
67760
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