All language subtitles for Asterix.In.America.1994.720p.BluRay.H264.AAC-RARBG

Back in the year 48 B. C...

... everyone believed the earth
was flat as a pizza.

Right in the middle, where the
anchovies converge, was Rome.

And Julius Caesar,
he was the big cheese.

Julius Caesar bestrode the world
like a colossus...

... and his thumping great sandal
came right down on top of Gaul.

But there was a pebble in his sandal
as he strode to victory.

One village of indomitable Gauls who
had the gall to defy Caesar's legions.

The brave villagers
had only one fear:

That the sky would fall
on their heads tomorrow.

But as their chief,
Vitalstatistix, said:

Yesterday was tomorrow
the day before yesterday.

Which, roughly translated,
means tomorrow never comes.

The secret of the Gauls' courage was
a potion brewed by the druid, Getafix.

It was this that made the Gauls
invincible, inexhaustible...

... and in Caesar's opinion,
intolerable.

Brave sons of Roma.

Mama mia.
Get the inferno out of here.

[SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]

[CONTINUES SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]

You see these barbarians,
they got no respect for us.

Caesar, he say that's no good.
We gotta teach them respect, okay?

-What's the matter, Corpulentus?
-It's Legionnaires' disease.

Silenzio, you wasters!

You all know the drill,
you bunch of salami-heads.

Today we're all gonna be tortoises.

By the right! Tortoise formation.
Pronto. Pronto!

Get a move on.
Move it, you stupido.

Did I say "at ease"?
You big girls' blouses.

Pronto, pronto.
That's right. Very good!

Okay. By the left.
Pizza formation.

At the double. Ouch.

Who did that? You think I forget that?
I do not forget that.

Ouch.

Bella, bella.

Now in mouthwatering,
bite-size slices.

Right away!

That's good. Just make sure
the Gauls do not eat you for dinner.

Paws off, Obelix.
You're fat enough already.

What do you mean, fat?
I'm big-boned. I only eat once a day.

Yeah, from dawn till dusk.

Very funny. Surely one boar
for breakfast isn't too much?

Come on, Dogmatix.

-How many did you have today?
-Three small ones. Piglets, really.

-Morning, Panacea.
-Hello, boys.

Did I do something wrong?

- Come on, Obelix.
- I was only being polite.

That's what I call
toppling the monarchy.

Hello, Cacofonix. Can you see
what the Romans are doing?

What should the Romans be doing?
They're hiding from us, aren't they?

Oh, no. Oh, no.

CORPULENTUS:
Come on, get in there.

CENTURION:
You call that a battle pyramid?

A new lot of Romans have arrived.
The Romans are coming!

Stop the squawking!
Do you hear me?

-Oh, no.
-Goody, goody. Fresh Romans.

New Romans. Boy, oh, boy.

Romans, everybody. Romans.
The Romans are here!

Boys, boys, slow down.

Stop!

There's enough for everyone.

- There's a queue here, mate.
- What about some service?

-Asterix, you first.
-Yum, yum, yum.

Obelix, not you. You fell into
the magic potion when you were a baby.

That's enough to last you a lifetime.

It's worn off. I feel really weak.
I only had a small breakfast.

All right, bottoms up.

LUCULLUS:
Now Hannibal's Gooseberry.

Bella. Romans, to the attack.

What the-?

Get stuck in, lads! This way.

You're gonna get your
Roman heads kicked in.

You're gonna get your
Roman heads kicked in.

You're gonna get your
Roman heads kicked in.

Oh, no! No, please.
I'll court-martial the lot of you.

Oh, no. Sharp and pointy.

Go on, men. Show no mercy.
Take no prisoners.

Punch them up the bracket.

Quickly, on the defense.
Mark your man.

Hey, you, that's offsides.

What a terrible year for Romans.

The 46 B. C. squad were much better.

Here, give this one a go.

You're right, they're absolutely
useless in the air.

Pulverize them.
Draw them! Quarter them!

Throttle them.... Where was I?

Knee them in the squidgy bits.
Slice them, dice them.

I mean....

Leading from the rear?
That's just the pits.

-Come on out here.
-Remember the Geneva Convention.

There won't be another rematch
until you Romans get a better team.

Tell your Caesar that, okay?

Whenever I send a message,
I always use...

... airmail.

Rome, the most
important city in the universe.

Home of everything great
about civilization.

The Senate, the Coliseum...

... and those little pasta things
shaped like shells.

Alms for the legless.

The Roman senators were
steamed up about the Gauls.

Who's taken my towel?

Even if you get good odds
on the Christians...

... it's stupid not to bet on the lions.

This steam's playing havoc
with my laurel leaves.

They've lost their bounce.

Cease your prattling.

Steam makes our bodies strong
as swords tempered in the fire.

Things are gonna get
really hot under the collar.

It'll get hotter for him if the Gauls
continue to fan the flames of revolt.

Yes, he's in the hot seat, all right.
We'll make sure he sweats it out.

Where's that shirker, Brutus?
He should take care of this job.

He'll stab you in the back.

Stab in the back?

Emperor. Great Caesar. Take heed-

Excuse me.

-Come in. Water on the coals, slave.
-Ave, Caesar.

- Come forward and be heard.
- This is a total pea soup.

Oh, ouch, oh. Ouch.

Now, there's an Olympic event
the Greeks never thought of.

Diving.

Ave, Caesar.
The freshly-bathed salute you.

Ave, ave, centurion.

-I just wanted to say-
CAESAR: Yes, yes? Spit it out, man.

-The Gauls.
SENATORS: Oh, no. Not again.

- We've had enough of this.
- Yes, we've had enough.

No! I cannot.

I will not be humiliated
in front of my senators.

Just because country bumpkins...

... dare to oppose me
and all-powerful Rome.

I've got to put a stop to it.
Right now!

As long as they have their potion....

Exactly. That damn potion
is endangering my career.

Without it, the Gauls would have
been conquered long ago.

As long as that druid continues
to brew his magic potion...

... no military campaign will have
any effect.

I have it. We simply
capture their druid...

... and throw him to the lions.

And then for seconds, we'll feed them
the rest of the village.

A brilliant idea.
But there's one tiny flaw, emperor.

-And what might that be, Lucullus?
-Druids are said to be immortal.

That's the trouble with druids.
They're so inconsiderate.

Let me think.
We shall have to be more cunning.

I know.

We'll take the druid to the end
of the world, and then....

Out there, he'll be lost
for all eternity.

Your brilliance is exceeded
only by your cruelty.

But who would be so stupid-?

I mean, so courageous
to sail to the end of the world?

I can think of someone
who was made for the task.

You, Lucullus. You'll do it.

But I....

You. And I won't take no
for an answer.

All I can say is,
thank heavens the world is flat.

That stinking fish dealer
has gone too far.

The last time that fish was fresh
was when I was in short trousers.

-Unhygienix.
-What can I do for you, chief?

You've done quite enough.
My bearers are in pain.

You poisoned them with your fish.

My fish don't stink.

Don't make me laugh.
Your fish stink worse than your socks.

-Oh, yeah?
-Yeah. Your fish stink to-

Rubbish.

Try them yourself for once.

-Friends, friends-
-My fish do not stink!

Friends, let's talk
this over like mature-

What's going on?
Hang on a minute.

How do you like that?

They send us out for food while
they stay home and have a good time.

Let me have a go.

LUCULLUS: What a wonderful sight.
Gauls beating their brains out.

Do excuse me, gentlemen,
but I must go and change.

Okay, shut your eyes
Quickly into my disguise

Grab a gown, pull it down
Stick-on beard, that feels weird

Just a dab of eau de Gaul

Behold the fairest druid of all

They're like big kids.
Every day, any excuse for a fight.

Yeah, but it's exercise.

Right on cue.
Fresh fish, that's what we need.

The potion won't work without it.

It's revolting. It's disgusting.

Look out!

The potion. No, I've got it.

Don't worry, I'll get it.
I've got it. I've got it.

What a butterfingers I am.

Why now, when herbs are at a premium?
Blockhead.

Yeah, blockhead.
And all because you're so clumsy.

-Me? I like that.
-No good crying over spilt potion.

Hey, wait a minute.
There's a drop left.

A drop? That won't last two minutes.

You drink it by the gallon.
We must brew more.

Someone has to go fishing.
We need fresh fish, mind you.

-I can fish.
-Me too. I know all about fishing.

Hurry up, our lives depend on it.
I'll go and collect herbs.

No, my little sausage,
you'd better stay on land.

Getafix needs a guard dog.

Come on, Dogmatix.
No time to lose.

Kids, all of them.
If only they knew the danger we're in.

Shush, Dogmatix. Not so loud.
We don't want the Romans to hear.

We're behind enemy lines.
Didn't you read that sign?

"Trespassers will be slaughtered.
P. S. We're not kidding. "

And one of these. That's it.

The only thing I need now
is the fresh fish.

Dogmatix.

Get lost, you stupid mutt.

Dogmatix, what's wrong?
Dogmatix, where are you?

Come on, come on.

The Agaricus muscarius,
esteemed colleague.

Now, let me guess.
You want to catch flies with it.

No, not flies, dear colleague.

Druids.

What did I tell you?
Catching druids is child's play.

You're no druid.
Let me out, you monster.

It should be deep enough here.

I'm afraid we have to turn back.
We've run out of food.

You greedy pig.
Why not scarf the boat too?

Please throw out the net.

Aye, aye, captain. Ordinary Seaman
Obelix will now throw out the net.

No, not like that.

-Obelix.
-Here, fishes. Here, fishy-wishies.

-Obelix.
-Here, fishies. Come to Uncle Obelix.

-Obelix.
-Shh. What's the matter with you?

You're frightening away
all my little fishy-wishies.

When I said throw out the net...

... I meant, tie one end
to the boat first.

Not throw it away completely,
you simpleton.

Well, isn't that just typical?

Now he's Captain Asterix,
doesn't he act all high and mighty?

And another thing, Captain Asterix...

... I'm a menhir deliverer,
not a net-thrower-outer.

That's obvious.
Know what's between your ears?

Absolutely nothing.

-Says who?
-Says me.

-Oh, yeah?
-Yeah.

-Yeah?
-Yeah.

-You looking for some?
-Try something.

- Go away.
- Go sing at sea.

Maybe a few fish will float
to the top.

Idiots, idiots. Philistines.

I'm sure our aquatic brethren
will be more appreciative.

A prophet is without honor
in his own land.

Help!

What's this? Am I seeing things?

It can't be true. It's Getafix!

Alarm-o! Alarm-o!
With a hey, diddly-die-do!

The Romans have got Getafix!

Our druid-o! Our druid-o!

A brilliant plan!
Say farewell, druid.

You won't be seeing Gaul again.

Don't count your chickens. Asterix and
Obelix will come after you.

If need be, to the end of the world.

What a coincidence.

That's exactly where you're going,
you doddering old fool.

Puddinghead.

I can't believe I'm hearing this.

You can take a long jump
off a short deck.

I can, can I? I have
one thing to say, gutbucket.

Hey, Gauls.

Button your lip
or I'll button it for you.

Asterix, Obelix, help!

Say ciao to your druid, Gauls.

-It's Getafix.
-Dogmatix. Daddy's little pet.

Bring our druid back
or you'll regret it.

If you touch one hair
on my little dog's head-

Don't make me laugh.
Come and get him.

We'll do just that.
Obelix, out with the oars.

- Aye, aye.
- No.

Belinus, give me strength.

What's wrong with you now?
You did say-

Yeah, I did, Obelix.
What are we gonna do?

We're up doo-doo creek
with no paddle.

Is this the Captain Asterix who's
always getting me out of trouble?

It's lucky I'm here.

Hey, now, don't overdo it.

Hang on, Romans, we're coming!

Now we're really motoring.

More to the right. The right.

- Which?
- The hand you punch Romans with.

I punch Romans with both hands.

- They're gaining on us.
- Fear not, that can be taken care of.

Dear sportsmen. It's time for the race.

Will Oxfordia,
sporting the dark blue bruises...

... hold sway over Cambridgensia,
with the light blue contusions?

Shall we see?

Hooray.

On your marks. Get set.

We'd like to wish you gentlemen
the very best of luck.

That's civil of you.

Should we win, we'll naturally
give you a rematch.

-Capital. Spoken like a gentleman.
-No more than you, sir.

Go!

For he's a jolly good pirate

For he's a jolly good pirate

For he's a jolly good pirate

And so say all of us

Happy birthday, captain.

Where was I? Ho-ho.

We had a bit of a whip round.

We thought you could use this
if we happen to bump into some Gauls.

That's very sweet,
but I won't be needing it.

If I come across them Gauls again,
I'll wring their necks.

They'll be dead ducks.

And now let's have a party.
You're all invited.

- I love parties.
- Is there red and green jelly?

Gauls. Gauls.

Gauls on the starboard now.

Please, not today.

For he's a jolly good pirate

For he's a jolly good pirate
For he's a jolly good pirate

All right, that's enough.

And so say all of us

Faster, Obelix, faster.

No problem.
I'm going into overdrive... now.

Oh, looks like we're in for a storm.

- I'm taking on water.
- That's torn it.

- If I can just....
- I'm drinking all this water.

Hurry up, climb aboard.

All right, keep your hair on.
Do you think it will get any worse?

The wind looks fresh and strong,
increasing southwest-

Hang on! We're being carried away!

Look at that wave. Heave to!

- Oh, no!
- Oh, no! By Beli-

That's the last we'll see of them.

The fish will soon be dining
on your friends.

Until Getafix gets back,
we're sitting ducks.

We've never faced the Romans
without them. What if they attack?

We can't hold out
without Asterix and Obelix.

We've still got a little bit of potion
but it won't last forever.

By Belinus, the gods are against us.

Don't be afraid, Auntie Impedimenta.
I'll protect you from the Romans.

- You're a good boy.
- Spoken like a true Gaul.

That's the spirit.
We're not beaten yet.

Where are we?

It's obvious. North of....
Well, no, perhaps south....

We're not far behind Getafix, okay?

And what about Dogmatix?

To think that I may never get a kiss
from his little wet nose again.

Look, druid, we're approaching
the end of the world...

... the end of you
and the end of a perfect day.

Dogmatix. Get him, boy.

Ouch. You sniveling cur.
You little barbarian.

Here, take a good look at this, druid.

A small foretaste of your own fate.

Let him go!
You'll regret this, Roman.

My only regret is
that I didn't think of...

... feeding this mutt
to the sharks earlier.

It's your turn soon, druid.

Dogmatix. No!

Dog overboard! Full speed ahead.

What's that? Dogfish?

No, by Teutates, it's Dogmatix.

-Yeah, Dogmatix!
-Here, boy, here. Dogmatix.

Oh, my little pet.

I never thought I'd see
Daddy's little poppet again.

Look, the dolphin. He's trying
to tell us something. After him.

- What did he say?
- I don't speak dolphin.

No? Really?
Well, you do surprise me.

Let's go through this
one more time before Caesar gets here.

You see in front of you the latest
development in long-range warfare.

The man-eating lion launcher.

For those of you
with spaghetti for brains...

... I'll do this one more time.

On the order that I shall give
and not before...

... first the safety catch
will be removed. Like so.

[SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]

And remember, never, not nohow...

... I repeat, never, not nohow,
you turn your back on a loaded lion.

That is, if you don't want
to end up as antipasto.

And remember, keep your little paws
off this rope here.

When I give the order,
it will be severed.

Like so.

We're fit, we're brave, we're strong.

We speak Latin all day long.

Fighting Gauls is what we do.
We'll make them speak Latin too.

There goes the sun...

... slipping off the edge
of the world right now.

Stupidus, how's the water level?

Full fathom five.
We're at the shallow end.

Wonderful, we're here.

Any closer and we'd be banging
against the edge.

And now raise the catapult.

Okay, okay.

That's the boat, all right,
but why have they stopped?

What's going on?

Well, the good news is, you don't have
to be tied to the mast anymore.

The bad news is, I'm going to catapult
you off the edge of the world.

The gods will get you for this, Roman.

By Pluto, it's a load of Gauls.

Jettison this geriatric
and let's get out of here.

- Don't forget to write.
- By Belinus, Obelix. Quick.

Getafix, we're coming.

Slowdown.
We're going to hit the edge.

Stop, stop!

Nothing beats the sight of
your enemies going down in the west.

And all thanks to my brilliant mind.

Oh, well. Better get back to Gaul.

Obelix, wake up.

Where am I? Dogmatix, are we dead?

I don't think so.

Come on. Let's see what's
on the top of those cliffs.

-Don't go up there. It's dangerous.
-I'll just take a peek.

It's the edge of the world.
You'll fall.

By Belinus and Teutates.
Take a look at this, Obelix.

No, we'll both fall
and then Dogmatix will be an orphan.

Getafix must have landed
somewhere out there.

-I'm tired. Let's call it a day.
-Okay.

-I'm starving.
-Me too.

Right. You light the fire.
I'll rustle us up a few boar.

Come on, Dogmatix. Walkies.
Dogmatix. Dogmatix, heel.

What's wrong? Oh, come to Daddy.
Who frightened diddums, then?

Oh, my. What the heck is that?

-It's an oven-ready gobble-gobble.
-It's incredible.

But it's edible. Light a fire, quick.

Look what I got, Asterix.
Aren't they beautiful?

Don't go counting your chickens.
We haven't tasted them yet.

Who'd have thought it? Tastes nice.

Yeah, very nice.

Though I wonder if
it would taste better stuffed.

- Stuffed with boar, for example.
- I wonder where Getafix is.

I hope he's all right.
Hope he's found somewhere to sleep.

We'll definitely find him...

... in the morning.

-Good night.
-Good night.

Back home, the Gauls prepared
for the inevitable Roman attack.

They built reinforcements.

Then they built reinforcements
on the reinforcements.

When you are up against the Romans,
you couldn't be too reinforced.

Oh, well. Time to get up.

Wakey wakey, Obelix.

Lazy bones, move yourself.
We've gotta find Getafix.

Get up. Time for breakfast.

Breakfast?
Did someone say breakfast? Yum-yum.

Am I hungry. I could eat 10 boars.
What are we having?

Gobble-gobbles, what else?
Someone has to catch them first.

Oh, like me, for instance.

Oh, all right then. Come on,
Dogmatix, walkies. Come on.

Obelix? Dogmatix?

Dogmatix, pay attention.
I'm gonna teach you a hunting trick.

You imitate the cry of the whatever
we're hunting. Now, listen.

Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble.

Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble,

Do you hear? It worked. Up there.
Now, hunting tip number two:

We sneak along on tiptoe...

... and then we shake our feathered
friend out of its nest. Tweet-tweet.

It's got feathers but it's not
a gobble-gobble. It's a red bird-man.

Maybe he knows something
about our druid.

I better show him to Asterix.

Hey, look. It's an oven-ready Roman
disguised as a gobble-gobble.

They're mad. Asterix?

Come on out, stop messing about.
What's this?

Asterix never takes his helmet off.
Not even to wash his hair.

- Someone must have knocked it off.
- Geronimo.

What?

Right, you. Where's Asterix?
Out with it.

Wonder what that means?
Maybe Asterix will know.

Search, Dogmatix, search for Asterix.

Hey, slow down.

That dog can sniff faster
than I can run.

Paws off.

-Well, I've had warmer welcomes.
-Getafix. Are you okay?

I was lucky. Caesar thinks
I fell off the edge of the earth.

-But the earth isn't flat. It's round.
-Wow.

I landed on Laughing Boy's tepee
over there.

But where are we?

I believe this is
the secret land of Indus.

- If so, these natives must be red....
- Indussans?

No, I think we'll find they
prefer to be called Native Americans.

Keep your nose
to the ground, Dogmatix.

Hello, what's that?

Dogmatix, the end is nigh.

The sky's falling on our heads.

By Teutates, it's a girl.

A Gaul always helps
a lady in distress.

- Hang on, miss. Here comes help!
- Any minute now!

I'll save you.

Phew.

It's a 40-buffalo pileup.
Just look at the size of them.

"Pom tittle" what?

She's talking funny.
Oh, I'm sorry. Do you speak English?

-At-Tischoo.
-Bless you.

At-Tischoo.

Oh, you, At-Tischoo. Me, Obelix.

Watch where you throw that thing.
You could take somebody's eye out.

-The social niceties are over with.
-Obelix is our only hope.

He's going for a treble top, 180.

Obelix.

What's going on here? Is this
some kind of Indian rope trick?

Leave this to me.
I'll have a word with their leader.

Look, my little feathered friends.
Why have you tied up my mates?

Wait a minute. It's you again.

Unless you want another beating,
I'd shove off out of here.

What a fibber. That's not what
happened at all. He's out of his tree.

-He's got it. That's how it was.
-Obelix, watch out.

Right, who did that?

-Anyone else like to try it on?
-Obelix, behind you.

Hey.

What's going on now?

Obelix.

I don't know what they're saying,
but it doesn't sound good.

Hi there, big fella.

The Muckifoot Indians had a custom.

Whoever defeated their champion
got to leave still wearing his scalp.

Pretty good.
I'll show you how we do it.

Only one Gaul ever became a
Muckifoot brother and that was Obelix.

Belinus, bless the day that Obelix
fell into the magic potion as a boy.

You can say that again.

-Give me five, chief.
-"Give me five"?

Give me five.

Ave, Caesar.
The magic potion test group is back.

I take it the Gauls still
have some magic potion left?

They do.

Three of us held one of them down
for almost two seconds. Honestly.

That's pitiful. From now on, test
their fighting abilities twice a day.

Until you or the magic potion
gives out. Whichever happens first.

Yum, yum.

We must get back home
as soon as possible.

I have everything we need for
the magic potion, including fish.

-I say we leave first thing tomorrow.
-Yeah, we've gotta get back.

This is good. Gobble-gobble?

No. Bow-wow.

Ugh.

What's going on?

Looks like the medicine man is
trying out some kind of mumbo jumbo.

You call that magic? This is kids' stuff.

Yay.

- Wow. He made it rain.
- Yeah.

Bit of a localized shower though.

Hold on, this isn't magic.

Hey, it's not very nice.

Here, miss, take a sip of this.

Yeah, go ahead.

-I think it's working.
-Now, this should be interesting.

Let's have a party.

Ba-ba-boom, ba-ba-boom
Are you gonna play a tune?

Have a party, be a smarty
Leave your cares behind the moon

Ba-ba-boom, ba-ba-boom
Kind of makes you want to dance

We're not looking for no fighting
So let's give our peace a chance

Ah-ee-ooh
Ooh-li-yah

We are one people

And we, like you

We are one tribe

Ba-ba-boom, ba-ba-boom
Braves are braves and we are too

Pretty squaws just like ours
Feel like home with me and you

Medical, radical
Shaking bones don't make you well

Sing along with our song
'Cause it's better than a spell

Ah-ee-ooh
Ooh-li-yah

We are one people

And we, like you

We are one tribe

Ah-ee-ooh
Ooh-li-yah

We are one people

Ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh-li-yah

We are one tribe

These red Indians aren't
a bad lot, are they?

-Thank goodness the medicine man left.
-Yeah, he was bad medicine.

Dogmatix.

Settle down. I think he comes in peace.

No, thank you.

We can't offend him.

What on earth is it?

I see what you do.

It tastes ghastly.

Good for you?

You suck the smoke in your mouth?

- Go on, Asterix.
- Let's hope this never catches on.

Hey, that looks like fun.
Let me have a go.

No, don't. Obelix.

-Hey, cut it out, everybody.
-It's dangerous stuff.

I feel...

... dreadful.

Oh, no, he slipped us a mickey.

I'm woozy.

It's a beauty, no?

The newly developed Patriotus Maketo.

You play with fire
but other people get burned.

Fire!

Fire!

Help! Help us! Asterix!

What happened?

Oh, my head.

It feels like someone drove a chariot
in one ear and out the other.

Where's Getafix? Obelix, wake up.
Getafix has vanished. Wake up.

What are you gabbling about?

Get up, Obelix.

Obelix, it's me, Asterix.

Oh, no. Poor Obelix.

He's gonna be a great help
finding Getafix.

I won't hand over the secret
of my magic potion to you.

I'd rather be skinned alive first.

On second thought,
start with the bean herb.

No, that's spinach.

Yeah. That's right.
That should teach you a lesson.

The potion is undeniably
a taste sensation...

... but it's as magic as soup.

Get a grip, Obelix.
Pull yourself together.

Snap out of it.

Be careful, Obelix.

Oh, no. This way. This way, I said.

Careful. Remember the country code.

Take it easy.

If we don't find Getafix soon,
there won't be a tree left standing.

You're certainly barking mad.

Heel, boy. Good boy. Sit. Sit.

Oh, no!

I hope those boys turn up before
old horn-head finds out the truth.

By Teutates.

Ow!

I did give you a recipe. Unfortunately
it was a recipe for disaster.

Asterix! Obelix!

Stay on your leash till
you learn how to be a good dog.

Now you've got me at it.

No. It's not bath time!

Bad dog!

No! Stop! Halt! Enough!

Obelix, stop that!

Woof! Woof, woof, woof.

Obelix's trouble is that
he doesn't know his own strength.

Where am I? Wow.

This place must predate
interior decorating.

This place looks
like a good place to hide.

Asterix!

Getafix?

-Obelix, Obelix! I'm coming, Getafix!
-Obelix!

- Over here, Asterix, quick.
- Getafix!

Here comes the cavalry!

Asterix, watch out.

Put your paws up.

You're in for a big surprise,
and it's not a teddy bear's picnic.

Asterix, drink before it's too late.

Watch out.

Paws off.

Now, that would make a nice rug.

So, Mr. Medicine Man, how would
you like to taste your own medicine?

For pity, kemosabe.
For pity. Mea culpa.

Look at that ugly duckling.

Let's hope he turns into a swan.
Then he can fly home.

Yes, it's high time we left.

Ooh.

Aha.

What does she want?

Wow, an Indian takeaway.

If that doesn't save
Obelix's bacon, nothing will.

-Ducks are vegetarian, aren't they?
-Not this one.

Of course. Now I remember.

The cure for amnesia is 30 pounds
of roast pork taken orally.

Yeah, that was good.
What's for afters?

Somewhere inside is burning

/ don't know why it's hurting

How do you say goodbye in Indian?

One hand on your heart,
the other in the air.

See?

Say goodbye

/'// never forget

Say goodbye

/ believe in the day

Say goodbye

Our hearts gonna beat both together

'Cause we will find a way

Say goodbye

/'// never forget

Say goodbye

/ believe in the day

Say goodbye

Obelix, would you come on?
Our friends are waiting.

Bye.

Thank you for having us.
And thanks for the feather.

Goodbye.

Say goodbye

/'// never forget

Say goodbye

/ believe in the day

Say goodbye

Our hearts gonna beat both together

'Cause we will find a way

We will find a way

We will find a way

We will find a way

-Ship, ahoy! We're saved!
-Save our skins!

-Stop!
-Take us with you!

Gaul!

Move over. Let's have a look.

Try and look like coconuts, lads,
and we'll be all right.

Whoa.

I feel awful.

That's natural
on a transatlantic crossing.

- You're suffering from canoe-lag.
- Huh?

Obelix, put your foot down or the
Romans will be all over our village.

Look, a sea gull. Look.

- Do you realize what this means?
- Yeah, cover your heads, lads.

- No, we're approaching land.
- Gaul?

We've done it!

-Gaul, sweet Gaul.
-Look.

They've got a kettle on
for us already.

- That's not the kettle.
- It's the village.

Quick. While there's still
something left to save.

Friends, friends, throw out
the menhirs and boars first.

For nothing.
What could have happened?

-By Teutates.
-We're too late.

Oh, no. Vitalstatistix.

Unhygienix. Where are you?

Come out. Can't you hear me?

They're gone. We've lost them all.
We failed them when they needed us.

You mean-

Yeah, they've all gone
to that big village in the sky.

Look over there, Obelix. It's our bard.

By Belinus, cut him down fast.

- What happened to the others?
- Where are they?

Look what the Romans did when I tried
to sing for my captured comrades.

Captured? Phew. Then they're still alive?

They're being taken to the arena.
Without the potion, we know the score.

Yeah. Lions: 15. Gauls: nil.
What are we waiting for?

I can brew the potion,
but the rest is up to you.

Don't worry, Getafix.
I'm in the mood for a Roman holiday.

I won't forget the part
you've played in my victory, Lucullus.

You'll be rewarded.

Not the lovely villa
on the shores of Lake Como?

No.

The Gallic village.

-What?!
-It's yours.

Beautifully appointed country home.

May lack a few mod cons,
but plenty of rustic charm.

Caesar is too kind.

Without your magic potion,
you are nothing.

Mm.

Cheers.

Wouldn't like to be them
in the morning.

Hey, lads. Fancy a few bevers?

Thanks, but no, thanks.

Okay, suit yourselves.

We're the next watch. You're relieved.

I'll say I am. I'm dying to go.

Must be all this wine.

Ooh.

All clear, Obelix.

Rotten cowards, the lot of them.
Lazy, greedy.

Me? Greedy?

God preserve us. It can't be.

Impedimenta. Look who's here.

- What a sight for sore eyes.
- We're glad to see you.

Cheers.

Do you know the secret
of my success, Lucullus?

Bread and circuses?

Exactly. And Gauls.

Lots of Gauls being devoured...

... very, very messily by lions.

And the people love you
for it, Caesar.

Yes...

... but it's lonely at the top.

What's that? Who dares to-?

By the gods.

Oh, no!

Gotcha.

Oh.

Here.

Huh?

- Halt. Who goes there?
- A barrel, you fool.

A barrel. Oh.

Where are your friends
when you need them?

How will I explain this in my new book
on the Gallic wars?

Got it. I advanced backwards
in a brilliant tactical maneuver.

And so the Gauls
returned home triumphant.

Asterix and Obelix were
the heroes of the hour.

They had feathers in their hair.
And they sang a strange tribal song.

-How did it go?
-I'll sing it for you, all right?

Ging gang goolie goolie goolie goolie watcha

Ging gang goo
Ging gang goo

All right?

Ging gang goolie goolie goolie goolie watcha

Ging gang goo
Ging gang goo

Hayla
Hayla shayla

Hayla shayla
Layla-loo

Hayla, hayla shayla

Hayla shayla
Layla-loo

Ging gang goolie goolie goolie goolie watcha

Ging gang goolie goolie goolie goolie watcha

Ging gang goo
Ging gang goo

Hayla....

NARRATOR; So we say goodbye
to the splendor that was Rome...

... the might that was Gaul...

... and the song that was
"Ging Gang Goolie Goolie. "

Hayla shayla

Hayla shayla
Layla-loo

This ain't gonna be a long song

Long enough to have some fun song

Or it may be, oh, baby, just too long

Doesn't matter where you come from

Everyone can have a singsong

Gonna make it so easy to relax

'Cause when the night has come
And all the talking's done

We're gonna party on and on

And dance, dance together
Under the moon, yeah

And dance, dance together
Under the moon

All the fun and games that we've had

Places that we've been together

All the hustle and bustle left behind

Strange and fancy situations

Problems that we overcome

At the end of adventures, take a break

Mm, mm

The night has come
And all the filing's done

We're gonna party on and on

And dance, dance together
Under the moon

And dance, dance together
Under the moon

Oh, work all day

Come what may

Dance all night

Feel so right

Tonight

Tonight

Tonight

Tonight

Now it's time to have a party

All our friends will get together

We'll be laughing and feasting fit to burst

Kind of makes you want to wonder

What they're gonna do all night long

With the lights low
And the memory of our song

'Cause when the night has come
And all the talking's done

We're gonna party on and on

And dance, dance together
Under the moon

And dance, dance together
Under the moon

And dance, dance together
Under the moon

Yeah

Now I sing a song of victory

Today will be a part of history

We gave our very best
We're still up to the test

When it looks so dark
We found the strength

Like brothers sharing, we stood

Side by side

So we will always

Always

Reach out and hold you steady

Always

Always

With our friends
We can make it all the way

Oh, yeah

Strong in the heart of every man

Well, I know
That there's a harmony in mine

Together we will be strong
Together we will go on

When you're far from home
You're not alone

Forever one, shining so bright

Yeah

Shining bright

So we will always

Always

Reach out hold you steady

Always

Always

With our friends
We can make all the way

Yeah, it's so easy to understand

Everybody needs a helping hand

Without you, without you
We can't go on

Whoa, yeah
It's so easy to understand

'Cause it's better workin' hand-in-hand

You gotta play well
To be the one

So we will always

Always

Reach out and hold you steady

Whoa, yeah, yeah

Always

Always

With our friends
We can make it all the way

Yeah, with our friends

We can make it all the way

We can make it all the way