All language subtitles for The.Happiest.Millionaire.1967.1080p.WEBRip.x265-RARBG

- * WELL, NOW, AIN'T THIS
AN ELEGANT NEIGHBORHOOD? *

* ALL THE RESIDENTS DRESS
SO FINE *

* ONE DAY OFF THE BOAT AM I

* WITH A JOB
THAT'S NEARLY MINE *

* 'TIS A JOB
WITH AN ELEGANT MILLIONAIRE *

* AND HIS ELEGANT FAMILY

* TODAY I MOVE FROM IMMIGRANT

* TO HIGH SOCIETY

NOW, YOU MAY CALL THAT LUCK.

AND YOU MAY CALL IT FORTUNE.

BUT ME MESELF...

* I CALL IT

* FORTUOSITY

* THAT'S ME BYWORD

* FORTUOSITY

* THE A TWINKLE
IN THE EYE WORD *

* SOMETIMES CASTLES FALL
TO THE GROUND *

* BUT THAT'S WHERE
FOUR-LEAF CLOVERS ARE FOUND *

* FORTUOSITY

* LUCKY CHANCES

* FORTUITOUS LITTLE

* HAP--HAPPY HAPPENSTANCES

*

* I DON'T WORRY

* 'CAUSE EVERYWHERE I SEE

* THAT EVERY BIT OF LIFE
IS LIT *

* BY FORTUOSITY

*

* FORTUOSITY

* THAT'S ME OWN WORD

* FORTUOSITY

* THE NEVER FEEL ALONE WORD

* AROUND THE CORNER

* UNDER A TREE

* GOOD FORTUNE'S WAITING

* JUST WAIT AND SEE

* FORTUOSITY

* LUCKY CHANCES

* FORTUITOUS LITTLE

* HAP--HAPPY HAPPENSTANCES

* I KEEP SMILIN'

* 'CAUSE MY PHILOSOPHY

* IS DO YOUR BEST
AND LEAVE THE REST *

* TO FORTUOSITY

*

* I KEEP SMILIN'

* 'CAUSE MY PHILOSOPHY

* IS DO YOUR BEST
AND LEAVE THE REST *

* TO FORTUOSITY

GOOD DAY TO YOU, MA'AM.

WOULD THIS BE THE HOME
OF MR. ANTHONY J. DREXEL BIDDLE?

- IT WOULD.

- I'VE COME
TO BE INTERVIEWED

FOR THE POSITION
OF THE BUTLER.

- MRS. BIDDLE DOES
THE INTERVIEWING.

SHE'S NOT AT HOME JUST NOW.

- BUT I HAD AN APPOINTMENT.
THE MAYFLOWER EMPLOYMENT AGENCY.

- I'LL TELL MRS. BIDDLE
THAT YOU WERE PUT OUT ABOUT IT.

- OH, NOT AT ALL.

I'D--I'D BE PLEASED
TO CALL AGAIN.

GOOD DAY TO YOU.

- COUNTY TYRONE.

- THE DAY BEFORE YESTERDAY.

- OH, WELL, PERHAPS YOU'D LIKE
TO WAIT IN THE KITCHEN.

MRS. BIDDLE
WILL BE COMING HOME SOON.

- THAT'S VERY KIND OF YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

FAITH, IT IS A GRAND PLACE
YOU HAVE HERE.

- I'M THE HOUSEKEEPER HERE.

ME NAME'S MRS. WORTH.

- MINE'S JOHN LAWLESS.

- THIS WAY, JOHN LAWLESS.

HAVE A SEAT,
AND I'LL POUR YOU SOME COFFEE.

- DON'T YOU BE TROUBLING
YOURSELF NOW, MRS. WORTH.

- IT'S NO TROUBLE.

THERE'S A POT BREWING
ON THE STOVE.

SIT DOWN.

- MIGHT YOU BE FROM IRELAND
YOURSELF, MRS. WORTH?

- I CAME OVER AS A YOUNG GIRL.
- NOT LONG AGO, THEN.

- TELL ME, MRS. WORTH,
WHAT BECAME OF THE LAST BUTLER?

- I COULDN'T SAY.

HE LEFT IN THE DEAD
OF NIGHT

AFTER BEING HERE
LESS THAN A MONTH.

WE'VE GOT A SERVANT PROBLEM
IN THIS HOUSE.

NO USE SAYING WE DON'T.

- IT MUST BE HARD WORKING
FOR THE VERY RICH.

I MEAN, THEY'RE ACCUSTOMED
TO HAVING THINGS JUST SO.

- THAT'S NOT EXACTLY
THE PROBLEM.

- NO.

THE BIDDLES
ARE GENEROUS ENOUGH.

- I WOULDN'T SAY SO.

- THERE'S A GORGEOUS SIGHT!

ARE YOU GETTING READY
FOR A PARTY, MRS. WORTH?

- NO, MR. BIDDLE'S
ON A CHOCOLATE-CAKE DIET.

- I BEG YOUR PARDON.

- CORDELIA!

- HE SAYS IT'S
THE PERFECT FOOD,

CONTAINING EVERY
ESSENTIAL ELEMENT.

- SHE'S GONE SHOPPING.

- I COULDN'T SAY.

- I HAVEN'T SEEN THEM
SINCE LUNCH.

- AT A TIME LIKE THIS. NO!

- IS THERE SOMETHING
I COULD DO, MR. BIDDLE?

- YES, YOU CAN CALL
DR. DUNLEAVEY

AND TELL HIM I'VE BEEN BIT
BY AN ALLIGATOR.

- OH, DEAR!

- I MIGHT AS WELL LIVE ALONE.

ARE YOU A MARRIED MAN?
NO, SIR.

- WELL, THEN
YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND.

* I'VE BEEN BIT
ON MY FINGER *

* IT COULD HAVE BEEN
MY LEG *

* IT COULD HAVE BEEN MY HEAD,
I MIGHT HAVE DIED *

* IN A TIME
OF MORTAL PERIL *

* ANY MAN SHOULD EXPECT

* THAT HIS FAMILY
WILL COME RUSHING TO HIS SIDE *

* WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

* WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

* MY FAMILY RUSHING
TO MY SIDE *

* WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

- NOT A THING, SIR,
I'M SURE.

- * I'M A GOOD-HEARTED
HUSBAND *

* I'M GENEROUS AND KIND

* NO WIFE COULD HAVE A LIFE
AS FREE OF CARES *

* SO WHEN A GOOD-HEARTED HUSBAND
HAS BEEN BIT *

* IT'S ONLY RIGHT
THAT HIS WIFE SHOULD SHARE *

* THE AGONY HE BEARS

* WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

* WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

* I WANT MY WIFE
TO SHARE MY LIFE *

* WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

CORDELIA!

- WELL, NOW...

NOW, THAT ANSWERS
A WHOLE SLEW OF QUESTIONS,

DON'T IT?

- CORDY! BOYS!

BLAST!

* HERE IN THIS HOUSE
I'M RAISING *

* THREE STRONG,
INTELLIGENT CHILDREN *

* WHERE ARE THEY NOW IN THEIR
FATHER'S TIME OF NEED? *

* I GIVE THEM PRIVATE TUTORS

* THE FINEST
PHYSICAL TRAINERS *

* ALL IN VAIN

OH, THE PAIN!

* I BELIEVE IN THE BIBLE

- * I BELIEVE IN UNCLE SAM

* AND AS SURE AS OLD GLORY
WAVES ABOVE *

- * I BELIEVE
A MAN WHO'S BITTEN *

* HAS THE RIGHT TO DEMAND

* THAT HIS FAMILY GIVE HIM
SYMPATHY AND LOVE *

* WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

both:
* THE FLAG ABOVE

* THE BIBLE AND LOVE

* WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

- HELLO, PAPA.

- OUT IN THE STABLE
WITH TONY AND LIV.

- OH.

- YES, SOMETHING'S WRONG!

- WHAT WERE YOU DOING SHAVING
AT THIS TIME OF DAY?

- I HAVEN'T BEEN SHAVING.

AND SINCE WHEN DO I SHAVE
MY FINGER?

- WELL, YOU DON'T SHAVE
YOUR EAR EITHER,

BUT LAST WEEK YOU CUT IT.

- THAT'S DIFFERENT.

THE EAR IS IN THE GENERAL
VICINITY OF THE FACE.

- WELL, SO'S THE FINGER
WHEN YOU'RE SHAVING.

- IT'S A BITE, BLAST IT!

- NO.
- YES!

- GEORGE...

TURNED ON ME JUST LIKE THAT
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS.

- WELL, IT'S REALLY NOT
SUCH A BAD BITE.

- IS THAT ALL YOU HAVE
TO SAY?

- THERE'S SOME ANTISEPTIC
IN THE EMERGENCY KIT

AND SOME BANDAGES.

- NOW, WAIT A MINUTE, CORDY.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

IT'S TIME FOR BIBLE CLASS.

- YES, I KNOW.

BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO DO
WITHOUT ME TODAY.

I HAVE AN ENGAGEMENT.

- DR. DUNLEAVEY'S SOMEWHERE
BETWEEN HIS OFFICE

AND THE HOSPITAL.

- WELL, KEEP TRYING.

UH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

NOT A THING, SIR.

- WELL, THEN DO SOMETHING.
- YES, SIR.

- BLASTED ALLIGATOR!

- I TREATED HIM LIKE A SON.

- WHAT EXACTLY WOULD YOU LIKE
ME TO DO, SIR?

- TELL THE BOYS TO BRING IN
THAT EMERGENCY KIT.

- OUT THE BACK DOOR,
ACROSS THE YARD TO THE STABLE.

MR. TONY, MR. LIVINGSTON.

- MR. TONY
AND MR. LIVINGSTON.

- BLASTED BENEDICT ARNOLD,
THAT'S WHAT HE IS.

YES?

- WOULD YOU TELL MISS BIDDLE
THAT MR. TAYLOR IS CALLING?

- MR. CHARLES TAYLOR.

MISS BIDDLE IS EXPECTING ME.

- CORDY!

- DR. DUNLEAVEY MUST'VE STOPPED
TO MAKE A HOUSE CALL.

- I COULD BE DYING.
- INDEED YOU COULD.

- WHERE'S THAT BLASTED
ANTISEPTIC?

- HERE YOU ARE, PA.
- WELL, IT'S ABOUT TIME.

- WE CAME AS SOON AS WE HEARD.

- I LEFT WORD
WITH THE DOCTOR TO CALL.

- ALL RIGHT.

WAS IT REALLY GEORGE?
GENTLE OLD GEORGE?

- YES, IT WAS
GENTLE OLD GEORGE.

- HEY, PA, WHAT'S CHARLIE TAYLOR
DOING HERE?

- HE CAME TO SEE CORDY.

- THE ANSWER
TO A MAIDEN'S PRAYER.

- WHAT DO YOU KNOW
ABOUT MAIDENS' PRAYERS?

- NOTHING, PA.
IT'S JUST AN EXPRESSION.

- OH.

CORDY CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT.

- WELL, I'M SURE SHE CAN...
WHEN THE TIME COMES.

- HEY, THAT'S PRETTY GOOD,
CHARLIE.

GOING INTO VAUDEVILLE?

- OH, HI, TONY.
LONG TIME NO SEE.

- THIS IS MY BROTHER LIV.

- HIYA, SPORT.
- HI.

- SAY, THAT MAN IN THE HALL.

- THAT WASN'T YOUR FATHER,
WAS IT?

- WELL, I DON'T KNOW.

I JUST THOUGHT HE WAS
SOME KIND--UH, UH, UH.

- HEY, CARAMELS!

THEY'RE FOR CORDY, SPORT.

- CORDY HATES CARAMELS.

- THEY STICK IN HER RETAINER.

- BUT I LIKE CARAMELS,
SO DOES TONY.

DON'T YOU, SPORT?
- OH, LOVE 'EM.

- OKAY, FELLAS,
THAT'S ENOUGH.

- CHARLIE!

YOU'VE BEEN HIDING YOUR LIGHT
UNDER A BUSHEL.

LIV, YOU SHOULD FEEL THAT.

- HEY...WHAT WEIGHT
DO YOU FIGHT AT, CHARLIE?

- BOXING.

- I, UH, PREFER OTHER SPORTS.

- NO.

- LIV, HE DOESN'T DO IT
AT ALL.

- OH, CHARLIE,
YOU'RE IN TROUBLE.

- I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

- WELL, IF YOU GOT YOUR EYE
ON CORDY...

* REMEMBER HARRY APPLEGATE?

- * YEAH, HE TOOK CORDY
ON A DATE *

- * OH, WHAT A DAPPER DAN

* PEARLY TEETH AND TENNIS TAN

- REMEMBER HIM WELL.

* THOUGHT HE WAS A ROMEO

- * TRIED TO KISS OUR SIS
AND, OH *

- * HARRY DUCKED,
BUT TOO LATE *

- * FATHER BOUGHT HIM
AN UPPER PLATE *

both:
* WATCH YOUR FOOTWORK

* BETTER LEARN
TO BOB AND WEAVE *

* SISTER CORDY'S GOT DYNAMITE
UP HER SLEEVE *

- * WHAT A JAB

both:
* DYNAMITE UP HER SLEEVE

- * WHAT A HOOK

both:
* DYNAMITE UP HER SLEEVE

* KEEP YOUR GUARD UP

- CHARLIE, NEVER LEAD
WITH YOUR RIGHT.

- YOU'LL GET KILLED
THAT WAY.

- OH, LOOK, FELLAS,
LET'S FORGET THE WHOLE THING.

I DIDN'T COME OVER HERE
TO DO THIS.

- * ARCHIE BAXTER
CAME HERE TWICE *

- * FIRST TIME OUT
HE ACTED NICE *

- * ROMANCE WAS IN THE AIR

* OH, THEY MADE A LOVELY PAIR
- BEAUTIFUL!

* SECOND DATE
IT WAS A DANCE *

* HE GRABBED HER TIGHT
THIS WAS HIS CHANCE *

- * CORDY ONLY BRUISED
THAT SPORT *

- * FATHER SETTLED IT
OUT OF COURT *

both:
* SO WATCH YOUR FOOTWORK

* BETTER LEARN
TO BOB AND WEAVE *

* SISTER CORDY'S GOT DYNAMITE
UP HER SLEEVE *

* WHAT A FEINT,
DYNAMITE UP HER SLEEVE *

* WHAT AN UPPERCUT,
DYNAMITE UP HER SLEEVE *

- UH-OH.

- CHARLIE!

- HEY, CHARLIE, WAKE UP.

- TONY, LIVINGSTON.

COME ON, IT'S TIME
FOR BIBLE CLASS.

WHAT HAPPENED?
- HE DROPPED HIS LEFT.

- OH.

WELL, YOU BETTER GET
SOME ICE.

AND, UH--

OH, AND GET SOME BEEFSTEAK.

- CHARLIE...

CHARLIE!

- WELL, DON'T YOU LOOK PRETTY!

- IT'S NO WONDER
I NEVER HAVE ANY CALLERS.

- OH, NOW,
WAIT A MINUTE, CORDY.

- PEOPLE ARE AFRAID
TO COME AROUND HERE.

- I DIDN'T HURT THE YOUNG SAP.

CHARLIE TAYLOR'S ONLY
THE MOST POPULAR BOY IN TOWN.

- OH, HERE HE COMES.

- CHARLIE,
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

- SURE HE'S ALL RIGHT.
COME ON, CHARLIE.

ATTA BOY.
- I'M SO SORRY, CHARLIE.

- WELL, THERE'S
NO SERIOUS DAMAGE.

HE'LL HAVE A BLACK EYE FOR
A COUPLE OF DAYS, THAT'S ALL.

- OOH!

- CAN I GET YOU
SOMETHING, CHARLIE?

- I SENT FOR SOME RAW MEAT.

- HOW ABOUT
A COLD DRINK, CHARLIE?

OH! OH, THANK YOU.

UH, CHARLIE,
WHY DON'T YOU SIT HERE

IN THIS COMFORTABLE CHAIR,

AND I'LL SEE IF I CAN GET YOU
SOME ICED TEA.

OR, UH, WOULD YOU LIKE
A PIECE OF CHOCOLATE CAKE?

CHARLIE! CHARLIE?

- GEE, WE'RE SORRY, CORDY.
WE DIDN'T MEAN TO DO IT.

- WE TOLD HIM
TO KEEP HIS GUARD UP.

- YOU SEE, CORDY,
I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.

LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON.

YOU'RE ALL THREE THE SAME--

ALWAYS HAVING YOUR SPORT
NO MATTER WHAT.

ALWAYS READY FOR A FIGHT!

- CORDY, WAIT A MINUTE.

- DON'T TOUCH ME!
I'LL FLATTEN YOU!

- CORDY.

CORDY, WAIT.

BLAST!

- * OH, MISS CORDELIA
DREXEL BIDDLE *

* I THOUGHT I KNEW YOU WELL

* BUT NOW, MISS CORDELIA
DREXEL BIDDLE *

* I JUST CAN'T TELL

* ARE YOU VALENTINE CANDY

* OR BOXING GLOVES?

* LATELY YOU SEEM
VERY STRANGE *

* WHAT IN THE WORLD'S
COMING OVER YOU? *

* EVERYTHING'S STARTING
TO CHANGE *

* ARE YOU SONNETS BY SHELLEY

* OR ROVER BOYS?

* ONCE, ANY ANSWER WOULD DO

* WHY ARE YOU SUDDENLY
WONDERING *

* WHICH KIND OF SOMEONE

* ARE YOU?

* HE'S A BOY MEANT
TO SPAR WITH *

* OR GAZE AT A STAR WITH

* SHOULD YOU KISS HIM

* OR BLACKEN HIS EYE?

* NOW, IF HE BUYS YOU ROSES

* A RIGHT TO THE NOSE
IS REALLY NOT *

* QUITE THE PROPER REPLY

* YOU'RE SO LOST
IN THE MIDDLE *

* OF IN BETWEEN

* IS YOUR DESTINY A CANVAS

* OR CREPE DE CHINE?

* WILL YOU SOMEDAY
BE SOMEONE *

* THAT SOMEBODY LOVES?

* ARE YOU VALENTINE CANDY

* OR

* BOXING GLOVES?

- MRS. WORTH,
I'M--I'M NOT ONE TO PRY,

BUT I CAN'T HELP WONDERING
SOME THINGS.

*

AH, THAT MUST BE
DR. DUNLEAVEY AT LAST.

- IT ISN'T AS IF THIS WAS
THE ONLY JOB IN PHILADELPHIA.

WELL, NOT FOR A LIKABLE LAD
LIKE MESELF.

*

MRS. WORTH?

I'VE DECIDED
TO RUN ALONG FOR NOW.

PERHAPS I CAN CALL
ANOTHER DAY.

PERHAPS.

- JOHN LAWLESS.

- A PROFESSIONAL PUGILIST,
NO DOUBT.

- OH, NO, MA'AM, I CAME
ABOUT THE BUTLER'S POSITION.

- THEN ANNOUNCE ME.

AND TAKE OFF YOUR HAT
IN THE HOUSE.

all:
* STRENGTHEN THE DWELLING

* OF THE LORD

* FASHION HIS BRAVE WORD
BOARD BY BOARD *

* HERE IN HIS IMAGE
NOW WE STAND *

* BUILDING HIS FORTRESS
STRONG AND GRAND *

* IT IS WRITTEN
THAT THE BODY AND MIND *

* OF MORTAL MAN

* SHOULD WALK IN THE SPIRIT
OF HIS... *

- WHOA! WHOA! WHOA!

- MR. BIDDLE, THERE'S A LADY
IN THE MUSIC ROOM, SIR.

- WELL, SHE DIDN'T GIVE A NAME,
LIKE THERE WAS NO NEED FOR IT.

- AUNT MARY.
TELL HER THERE'S NOBODY AT HOME.

- BUT, SIR--

all:
* IT IS WRITTEN THAT THE BODY

* AND MIND OF MORTAL MAN

* SHOULD WALK IN THE SPIRIT
OF HIS MASTER PLAN *

* SO WE MUST STRENGTHEN
THE DWELLING *

* OF THE LORD
- KNEES TO CHEST!

- I-I'M AFRAID THERE'S
NO ONE HERE, MA'AM.

- NO ONE AT ALL,
SAVE MRS. WORTH AND MESELF.

AND AS FOR ME, I--

- * IT IS WRITTEN
THAT THE BODY AND MIND *

* OF MORTAL MAN

* SHOULD WALK
IN THE SPIRIT... *

- AUNT MARY.

WHAT A NICE SURPRISE.

- I COME ABOUT
THE BUTLER'S POSITION.

- OH, GOOD.
THEN TAKE THESE, WOULD YOU?

AND TELL MR. BIDDLE
THAT AUNT MARY IS HERE.

AND BRING US SOME TEA
INTO THE PARLOR, PLEASE.

IF THE STORES GET
ANY MORE CROWDED,

I'M JUST GOING TO HAVE TO
GIVE UP SHOPPING ENTIRELY.

YOU CAN'T IMAGINE
THE SWARMS OF PEOPLE.

DO SIT DOWN, AUNT MARY.

- THIS IS NOT A SOCIAL CALL.

I'VE COME
FOR A SPECIFIC REASON.

IN TODAY'S PAPER,
IN GEORGE GRAY'S GOSSIP COLUMN,

IT IS REPORTED THAT
"LAST WEEK...

"CORDELIA DREXEL BIDDLE
ENTERED A ONE-STEP CONTEST

"IN ATLANTIC CITY

WITH A HEINIE FENSTERMACHER,"
WHOEVER THAT IS.

- WELL, I DON'T RECOGNIZE
THE NAME.

- "AND WON."

- WE, UH...

WE WER IN ATLANTIC CITY
FOR THE BIBLE CLASS CONVENTION.

- I KNOW WHY YOU WERE
IN ATLANTIC CITY,

BUT THAT DOES NOT EXPLAIN,
AND CERTAINLY DOESN'T EXCUSE,

THE MATTER AT HAND.

- WELL, GOOD AFTERNOON,
AUNT MARY.

ALWAYS A PLEASURE
TO SEE YOU.

CORDELIA.

- ANTHONY.

OH, ANTHONY, YOUR FINGER.
- YES, GEORGE BIT ME.

- I CAN'T IMAGINE
WHAT GOT INTO HIM.

- QUITE OBVIOUSLY
YOUR FINGER GOT INTO HIM.

ANYONE WHO KEEPS AN ALLIGATOR
IN THE HOUSE

MUST EXPECT TO BE BIT
AND DESERVES IT.

- WELL, I'M SURE GEORGE WAS
ONLY PLAYING AND FORGOT HIMSELF.

- DO YOU REALLY
THINK SO, CORDELIA?

- OH, I'M SURE OF IT.

- OH, OVER THERE, PLEASE.

HE PROBABLY FEELS AS BADLY
ABOUT IT AS YOU DO.

- I WONDER.

- THAT WILL BE ALL,
THANK YOU.

- HA, YOU'RE RIGHT, CORDELIA.
HE WANTS TO MAKE UP.

WELL...

- WELL, IF THE JUNGLE THEATRICS
ARE QUITE OVER,

I SHOULD LIKE TO RETURN
TO THE SUBJECT OF MY VISIT,

WHICH IS CORDY.

- I DO NOT CONSIDER
SHE'S UNDER THE RIGHT INFLUENCES

FOR A YOUNG WOMAN
IN HER SOCIAL POSITION.

- SHE'S UNDER MY INFLUENCE

AND HER MOTHER'S
AND HER BROTHERS'.

- OH, PLEASE, ANTHONY,
DON'T PRETEND NAIVETE.

YOU KNOW PERFECTLY WELL
WHAT I MEAN.

- NO, I DON'T.
I DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

- DID YOU READ
THIS MORNING'S PAPER?

- YES. YES, I DID.

GERMAN U-BOATS IN OUR WATERS,

SINKING BRITISH MERCHANT SHIPS
IN SIGHT OF NANTUCKET.

THAT'S WHAT THEY THINK
OF OUR NEUTRALITY.

- DID YOU GET
BEYOND THE FIRST PAGE?

- GEORGE GRAY'S
COLUMN, DEAR.

CREAM OR LEMON, AUNT MARY?
- OF COURSE NOT.

- BLASTED PROFESSIONAL
TROUBLEMAKER!

- OH, NO,
HE DOESN'T MAKE TROUBLE.

HE REPORTS IT.

THIS MR. FENSTERMACHER,

HE'S A MEMBER OF ONE
OF YOUR BIBLE CLASSES, I ASSUME.

- YES. YES, HE IS.

AND A FINE, UPSTANDING
YOUNG MAN HE IS TOO.

- ANTHONY, TELL ME SOMETHING.

WERE THE CHILDREN IN SCHOOL
AT ALL LAST YEAR?

- THEY WERE BEING TUTORED,
AUNT MARY.

- AND WHO WAS TUTORING
THE TUTOR?

- WELL, EVERYBODY KNOWS
THAT YOU HIRED THIS MAN

AS A BOXING COACH.

HE CAN'T EVEN SIGN
HIS OWN NAME.

- TONY AND LIV GOT
INTO ST. PAUL'S ALL RIGHT.

THEY'RE GOING UP THERE
NEXT WEEK.

- AND I APPLAUD THE MOVE.

NOW LET'S DO THE SAME
FOR CORDY.

THE LORETTA WINGFIELD SCHOOL
FOR YOUNG LADIES

IN LAKEWOOD, NEW JERSEY,
IS ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS.

- OH, NO, YOU DON'T!

I WON'T HAVE CORDY EXILED
TO SOME PRISON.

- ANTHONY, ANSWER ME--

WHAT PROPER YOUNG MAN
IN HIS RIGHT MIND

WOULD WANT TO MARRY
A LADY PRIZEFIGHTER?

- BLAST THE PROPER YOUNG MAN.
- THAT'S EASY TO SAY.

- BESIDES, WHAT'S THIS TALK
ABOUT MARRIAGE?

CORDY'S A CHILD.

- YOU'RE BLIND, ANTHONY,
IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE.

- WELL, BLIND OR NOT, I'M NOT--

- OH, CORDY,
WE WERE JUST DISCUSSING YOU.

- YES, I KNOW.

AND, PAPA, I'D LIKE TO GO
OFF TO SCHOOL.

- HELLO, AUNT MARY.

- GOOD AFTERNOON, CORDELIA.

- HELLO, MAMA.
- DARLING.

- CORDY,
DID I HEAR YOU CORRECTLY?

- I'M SURE YOU DID, PAPA.

- OH, ARE YOU STILL UPSET
ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED A WHILE AGO?

DO YOU WANT THAT BOY
BACK OVER HERE?

I'LL DRAG HIM BACK BY THE--

- NO, PAPA,
IT ISN'T CHARLIE TAYLOR.

DON'T YOU LIKE IT HERE?
- OF COURSE I LIKE IT HERE.

- YES.

BUT IT'S HARD
TO EXPLAIN, PAPA.

I'M NOT LIKE THE OTHER GIRLS.

- WELL, HOORAY FOR THAT.
LOOK AT THE OTHER GIRLS.

- OH, PAPA...

- CORDY, I LIKE YOU
THE WAY YOU ARE.

YOU'RE PRETTY, YOU HAVE FUN,
YOU'RE ALIVE.

AND YOU'VE GOT A BETTER
LEFT HOOK THAN TONY OR LIV.

- BUT I DON'T WANT
A LEFT HOOK.

- ANTHONY, I THINK WE BETTER
TALK ABOUT THIS LATER.

- SHE DOESN'T KNOW
WHAT SHE'S SAYING.

- I DO KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING.

I WANT TO GO
TO MISS WINGFIELD'S SCHOOL.

- ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT, YOU GO.

GO TO PRISON IF YOU WANT TO.

- THANK YOU, PAPA.

- BLAST!

- OOH--

- WELL, IT'S LATE,

AND I HAVE OTHER THINGS
TO DO.

- WELL, THANK YOU
FOR COMING, AUNT MARY.

- I DON'T LIKE TO INTERFERE.

- BUT ATTENTION MUST BE PAID
TO THESE MATTERS.

- I KNOW.

- GOOD DAY, CORDELIA.

GOOD DAY, ANTHONY.

GOOD DAY, AUNT MARY.

- ANTHONY, WE DO HAVE
TO LET CORDY GO.

SHE'S NOT A CHILD ANYMORE,

AND IT'S SELFISH
TO KEEP HER HERE

IN THIS...SPECIAL WORLD.

- WHAT'S WRONG
WITH THIS SPECIAL WORLD?

- OH, ANTHONY,

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO
TAKE EVERYTHING SO PERSONALLY?

- YOU MIGHT AS WELL PUT OUT
THAT TERRIBLE WEED.

YOU WON'T GET RID OF ME
THAT WAY.

ANTHONY, I'VE RAISED
VERY FEW OBJECTIONS

TO THE WAY
THAT CORDY'S BEEN BROUGHT UP,

DESPITE ITS BEING
RATHER UNORTHODOX.

NOW--NOW DON'T SAY, "WHAT'S
WRONG WITH BEING UNORTHODOX?"

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT.

IF I DIDN'T FEEL THAT WAY,

I COULDN'T HAVE STAYED MARRIED
TO YOU ALL THESE YEARS.

IT'S BEEN A GOOD LIFE,
A HEALTHY LIFE.

AND CORDY'S BEEN HAPPY.

BUT NOW SHE'S OLDER

AND FEELS A NEED
TO REACH OUT.

- BUT SHE WON'T LIKE IT.

- THAT'S FOR HER TO DECIDE.

YOU DIDN'T WANT TO LET GO
OF TONY AND LIV.

YOU FOUGHT ST. PAUL'S
LIKE A TIGER.

WELL, NOW IT'S CORDY.

- BLAST IT, CORDELIA,
I SAID SHE COULD GO, DIDN'T I?

- YES, DEAR.

- WELL, THEN...
WHAT'S ALL THE FUSS ABOUT?

I'M GOING OUT TO THE GYM.
- GOOD IDEA.

YOU'LL FEEL MUCH BETTER
WHEN YOU GET BACK.

- OH, MRS. BIDDLE--

MRS. BIDDLE,
IF IT'S CONVENIENT...

- OH, YES.

I'M AFRAID I DON'T REMEMBER
YOUR NAME.

- JOHN LAWLESS, MA'AM.
THE MAYFLOWER EMPLOYMENT AGENCY?

- AH, FINE.
DINNER'S AT 7:00, JOHN.

- DINNER'S AT 7:00,
SHE SAYS.

HEAVEN HELP ME.

- GOOD WAY TO LET OFF STEAM.

- PAPA, I'M SORRY
FOR THE WAY I ACTED.

- I APPRECIATE YOUR APOLOGY.

- I DO LOVE MY HOME.
I DON'T REALLY WANT TO GO AWAY.

- YOU WERE RIGHT,
WANTING TO GO.

YOU'RE NOT A CHILD
ANY LONGER.

IT'S SELFISH TO TRY
TO KEEP YOU HERE

IN THIS SPECIAL WORLD.

- WHAT'S WRONG
WITH THIS SPECIAL WORLD?

- NOW, DON'T YOU START THAT.

CORDY...

YOU HAVE TO MAKE YOUR OWN LIFE
IN YOUR OWN WAY.

YOU CAN'T STAY HERE
WITH YOUR MOTHER AND ME FOREVER.

OF COURSE, WHEN YOU COME HOME
ON VACATIONS,

THINGS WILL BE JUST THE SAME.

- ALL OF A SUDDEN, I'M AFRAID.

- NOW, THAT I WON'T HAVE.

THERE'S NOTHING OUT THERE
TO BE AFRAID OF,

AS LONG AS YOU KEEP
YOUR GUARD UP

AND YOUR CHIN TUCKED

AND KNOW HOW TO BRING ONE UP
FROM THE FLOOR.

- OH, PAPA.

WHEN I WAS A LITTLE GIRL,
I USED TO THINK

YOU MUST BE THE MOST WONDERFUL
PERSON IN THE WHOLE WORLD.

NOW THAT I'M OLDER
AND MUSH WISER,

I KNOW YOU ARE.

- WELL, COME ON.

LET'S GO BACK IN THE HOUSE.

NOW, IF YOU DON'T LIKE
THAT SCHOOL,

YOU SURE DON'T HAVE
TO STAY UP THERE.

*

MR. BIDDLE?

MR. BID--

WHAT'S WRONG, MAN?
YOU'RE WHITE AS A SHEET.

- FAITH, YOU DO HAVE
AN ALLIGATOR.

- 12 OF THEM.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

- NOT A THING, SIR.
IT'S RELIEVED I AM, SIR.

- I CAPTURED THEM MYSELF
DOWN IN FLORIDA,

WENT INTO THE SWAMP
WITH A PARTY OF SEMINOLES.

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN
A SEMINOLE INDIAN

CAPTURE ALLIGATORS?

- I CAN'T SAY I HAVE, SIR.

- WELL, THEY CAN PADDLE
A CANOE

SO YOU CAN'T HEAR IT
TWO FEET AWAY.

AND IF THE ANIMALS
DON'T SHOW THEMSELVES,

YOU GIVE 'EM THE MATING CALL.

SAY, WHO ARE YOU, ANYWAY?

- JOHN LAWLESS, SIR.
I'LL BE THE NEW BUTLER.

- WE'VE GOT A NEW BUTLER.

- NO, PAPA, HE QUIT.

- DAYS AGO.
- OH.

- WELL, IF YOU'LL
EXCUSE ME, SIR.

- THAT'S RIGHT, SIR.

- TELL ME, JOHN...

ARE YOU A RELIGIOUS MAN?

- WELL, I TRY TO LIVE
BY THE GOOD BOOK, SIR.

- I'M NOT SURE. I--

- WELL, NEVER MIND.

WE'LL GO INTO THAT
ANOTHER TIME.

WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF BOXING?

- PAPA, WHY DON'T WE FIND--

- YOU KNOW, SELF-DEFENSE.
EVER DONE ANY OF THAT?

- WELL, AT THE FAIR LAST YEAR
IN COUNTY TYRONE,

I WAS FISTICUFFS CHAMPION.

CHAMPION, EH?

- WELL, IT ISN'T
A VERY LARGE COUNTY, SIR.

- FISTICUFFS CHAMPION OF...
WHERE WAS THAT AGAIN?

- COUNTY TYRONE.
IT'S IN IRELAND.

- AH. YOU GOING TO BECOME
AN AMERICAN CITIZEN, JOHN?

- WELL, I INTEND TO APPLY, SIR.
- YOU'LL NEVER REGRET IT.

GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD.
- PAPA...

- THERE ARE CERTAIN THINGS
I BELIEVE IN, JOHN.

GOD AND
THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

ARE AT THE TOP OF THE LIST.

- I KNOW VERY WELL
WHAT THE UNITED STATES

HAS TO OFFER, MR. BIDDLE.

THAT'S HOW IT IS
I'M HERE, SIR.

- YES, WELL, LIKE I SAY--

- THERE'S SOMETHING ELSE
I KNOW JUST AS WELL,

AND THAT IS YOU ARE
WHAT YOU ARE,

AND THAT'S GOOD TOO.

- WELL, BEING AN AMERICAN
IS ADDING SOMETHING.

IT ISN'T SUBTRACTING.

ON THE NIGHT
BEFORE I SAILED AWAY,

THEY COME FROM FAR AND NEAR.

ALL ME FRIENDS
AND ALL ME KIN

* TO SHED A PARTIN' TEAR

* WE KNEW
WE'D NEVER MEET AGAIN *

* AND YET WAS CLEAR TO SEE

* I'D ALWAYS BE A PART
OF THEM *

* AND THEM A PART OF ME

* I'LL ALWAYS BE IRISH

* 'CAUSE THAT'S HOW I BEGAN

* I'LL ALWAYS BE IRISH

* I'LL SAY THAT TO ANY MAN

* AND WHEN I'M AN AMERICAN

* I'LL BE A GOOD ONE TOO

* I'LL BE TRULY
AS AMERICAN AS IRISH STEW *

- HEY, THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.

both:
* HE WILL BE TRULY AS AMERICAN

* AS IRISH STEW

- ASK FOR IRISH STEW IN IRELAND
AND SEE WHAT YOU GET.

- I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT.

- IN IRELAND,
ALL THE STEW IS IRISH.

* I'LL ALWAYS BE IRISH

* A FACT I'LL NOT DENY

* I'LL ALWAYS BE IRISH

* AND I'LL HOLD ME HEAD
UP HIGH *

* I'LL WEAR THE GREEN
ST. PATTY'S DAY *

* AND YET FOR ALL OF THAT

* I'LL BE TRULY AS AMERICAN
AS CASEY AT THE BAT *

both:
* HE'LL BE TRULY AS AMERICAN

* AS CASEY AT THE BAT *

- SAY, THAT LOOKS LIKE
GOOD EXERCISE.

*

COME ON, CORDY.

- HEY, HEY!
- PAPA!

- IF YOU CAN WIN
A ONE-STEP CONTEST,

YOU OUGHT TO BE ABLE
TO DO THIS.

- I THOUGHT
YOU DIDN'T LIKE DANCING.

- IT'S THAT WALTZING BUSINESS
I DON'T LIKE.

HEH, THAT'S FOR OLD FOLKS.

*

- HEY!

AHA!

*

* IF I WENT TO PAREE
FOR THE REST OF ME DAYS *

* AND ATE BREAD AND CHEESE
IN SIDEWALK CAFES *

* LIVED IN A GARRET
WORE A BERET *

* WHAT WOULD I BE?
both: * AN IRISHMAN

- RIGHT!

*

* IF I WENT TO TIBET
AND BOUGHT ME A YAK *

* AND TRAVELED SIBERIA
RIDING HIS BACK *

* THE PEASANTS WOULD POINT AT ME
WHAT WOULD THEY SAY? *

* OOH-YANG-A-WIKI-TIKI
OOH-YANG-A-WONG-TONG *

* OOH-YANG-A-WIKI-TIKI
IRISHMAN? *

both: RIGHT.
- RIGHT.

* BUT IF I WENT TO SPAIN

* AND GREW A MOUSTACHE

* STRUMMED A GUITAR
AND WORE ME A SASH *

* BECAME A TORERO
AND FOUGHT ME A BULL *

- ANDALE, TORO! ANDALE!

*

both:
HOORAY!

- AFTER AWARDING ME BOTH EARS
AND THE TAIL,

WHAT WOULD THEY SAY?

- OLE!
- FOR THE IRISHMAN! RIGHT!

HEY-HO!

WHOO-HOO!

*

HO!
- COME ON, MRS. WORTH.

COME ON, NOW.

- WHOO-HA!
- IT'S GOOD FOR YOU.

*

- AH, THAT-A-GIRL.

*

- YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN
ME FATHER DOING THIS--

LIKE A TORNADO
ACROSS THE FLOOR.

OH...OH...

OH!

- * HE'LL ALWAYS BE IRISH

- * SHOUT IT GOOD AND LOUD

- * HE'LL ALWAYS BE IRISH

- * OF HIS HERITAGE
HE'S PROUD *

- * I'M PROUD
OF IRISH BLARNEY *

* AND IRISH SENTIMENT

* AND I'LL BET SOMEDAY
WE GET AN IRISH PRESIDENT *

- * AND I'LL BET SOMEDAY
WE GET AN IRISH PRESIDENT *

- WHEE-HA!

*

- HEY, LET ME IN THERE.

*

- BEAUTIFUL.

- WEE!

- WHOO-HOO!

WHOO-HOO!

WHOO!

- OH...OH, THE MAYFLOWER
EMPLOYMENT AGENCY.

OH, YES.
YES, OF COURSE.

- HEY!

- UH, YES, I THINK MR. LAWLESS
WILL SUIT OUR NEEDS VERY WELL.

*

- WHOO! COME ON,
I WANT GEORGE TO SEE THIS!

- WHOA! WHOA! WHOA!

- CORDELIA, WHATEVER
ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?

- PAPA.

HE'S NOW GIVING
MILITARY TRAINING

TO THE BIBLE CLASSES.

THEY'RE MARCHING UP AND DOWN
IN FRONT OF THE HOUSE

WITH BROOMSTICKS FOR RIFLES.

- CORDELIA, WHAT AN ABSOLUTELY
GORGEOUS INVITATION.

WHOEVER IS IT FROM?

- WELL, READ IT FOR YOURSELF
IF YOU'RE SO ANXIOUS.

- I'M NOT
THE LEAST BIT ANXIOUS.

I WAS ONLY TRYING
TO BE SOCIABLE.

- CORDELIA!

THE WILLIAM THAWS
ARE ABSOLUTELY WORLD-FAMOUS

FOR THEIR PARTIES.

HOW EVER DID YOU GET
THIS INVITATION?

- WELL, I'M
IN GREAT DEMAND SOCIALLY.

DIDN'T YOU KNOW?

- I SUPPOSE YOU GIVE
BOXING EXHIBITIONS.

AND I THINK I'LL GET IN
SOME PRACTICE...

RIGHT NOW!

- I'LL CALL MISS WINGFIELD!

- WITH THAT ROUGE
ALL OVER YOUR FACE?

MM.

- CORDY...

YOU WOULD NEVER TELL
MISS WINGFIELD

THAT I WEAR ROUGE
TO BED, WILL YOU?

NO MATTER HOW ANGRY YOU GET.

- WELL...

- YOU WOULDN'T BE SO CRUEL.

- WOULD YOU TEACH ME
HOW TO FLIRT?

- WELL, MY AUNT GLADYS SAID

THERE ARE GONNA BE ALL SORTS
OF YOUNG MEN AT THE DANCE

FROM YALE
AND FROM PRINCETON AND--

- YOUR AUNT GLADYS.

SO THAT'S HOW
YOU GOT INVITED.

- THE WILLIAM THAWS
ARE MY AUNT AND UNCLE.

SINCE I'M GOING TO SCHOOL
RIGHT HERE IN LAKEWOOD,

THEY'RE PRACTICALLY
DUTY-BOUND.

- I SHOULD HAVE GUESSED.

- WELL, IT HELPS TO BE RELATED
TO ALMOST EVERYBODY.

I WANT TO MAKE THE MOST
OF IT.

WILL YOU HELP ME,
ROSEMARY?

- CORDELIA, IF YOU'RE SUGGESTING
THAT I KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT--

- OH, COME ON, ROSEMARY,

I'LL BET YOU'RE
THE WORLD'S CHAMPION.

- WELL, THE FACT
THAT I HAVE BEEN ADMIRED BY MEN

DOESN'T MAKE ME A FLIRT.

- WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SWEAR

I'LL NEVER TELL MISS WINGFIELD
ABOUT THE ROUGE?

- THAT'S BLACKMAIL!

- IT'S A TRADE.

WELL?

- I WONDER IF THOSE THAW PARTIES
ARE AS ABSOLUTELY SPECTACULAR

AS PEOPLE SAY.

THAT'S HOW TRADING WORKS,
ISN'T IT?

- ALL RIGHT...
I'LL ASK MY AUNT GLADYS.

- OH, GOOD!

COME HERE!

NOW, IF A GIRL WANTS
TO BE POPULAR NOWADAYS,

THERE'S ONE THING THAT
SHE ABSOLUTELY NEEDS TO KNOW.

- BYE-YUM PUM PUM.

- * BYE-YUM PUM PUM

* BYE-YUM PUM PUM

* BYE-YUM PUM PUM

* BYE-YUM

* YOU MUST BE

* OH, SO "MYSTERIOSO"

* ENTHUSIASM
IS TRES PASSE *

* YOU MUST SLINK
ACROSS THE FLOOR *

* AS IF IT'S A DREADFUL BORE

* TO THE RHYTHM
OF BYE-YUM PUM PUM *

* BYE-YUM PUM PUM

* BYE-YUM PUM PUM

* BYE-YUM

* YOU NEED TO KNOW
THE THEDA BARA *

* HOLLOW CHEEKS
AND BLACK MASCARA *

- * BYE-YUM PUM PUM

* BYE-YUM

OKAY, WHAT'S NEXT?

- * THE MEN IN COLLEGE
ALWAYS ACKNOWLEDGE *

* A GIRL WHO DANCES

* IN A TRANCE

* SO BYE-YUM UNTIL THE DAWN

* AS IF YOU'RE ABOUT TO YAWN

* TO THE RHYTHM OF

- * BYE-YUM PUM PUM

* BYE-YUM PUM PUM

- ATTITUDE, CORDY!
ATTITUDE!

- * BYE-YUM PUM PUM

- * TODAY THE KEY
TO BEING WANTED *

* IS JUST TO GLIDE
AS IF YOU'RE HAUNTED *

*

* AND YOUR RIGHT FOOT

* LEFT FOOT, RIGHT, BACK

- LET ME TRY!
LET ME TRY!

- * RIGHT FOOT, LEFT FOOT

* RIGHT, BACK, TOGETHER

* NOW ARMS, CORDY, ARMS

* USE YOUR ARMS,
BACK, TOGETHER *

* AND SLINK, TWO, THREE

* BYE-YUM AND SLINK
TWO, THREE *

* BYE-YUM AND SLINK, TWO

NOW SPIN LIKE A TOP.

*

THAT'S IT!

*

CORDY, YOU'RE
ABSOLUTELY WICKED.

I LOVE IT!

HOW EXOTIC.

BRAVO.

*

NITA NALDI!

THEDA BARA!

CORDY, YOU'RE
ABSOLUTELY DANGEROUS!

AND SCANDALOUS!

- * FOR WHEN YOU'RE
OH, SO "MYSTERIOSO" *

* THE MEN WILL GROW
SO ENTRANCED WITH YOU *

- SHOCKING.

- * AS YOU SECRETLY CONCEAL

* THE TINGLY WAY YOU FEEL

* WHEN YOU'RE DANCING
TO BYE-YUM PUM PUM *

* BYE-YUM PUM PUM

* BYE-YUM PUM PUM

* BYE-YUM

*

- CORDELIA.

- OH, AUNT GLADYS.

- CORDELIA, DARLING.

- AUNT GLADYS.

- I'VE BEEN LOOKING
ALL OVER FOR YOU.

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

I WANT YOU TO MEET THE TWO
MOST CHARMING MEN AT THE PARTY.

MY NIECE,
CORDELIA DREXEL BIDDLE--

MR. ROGER FITZSIMMONS,
AND MR. WALTER BLAKELY.

BOTH JUST DOWN
FROM NEW HAVEN.

- A PLEASURE.

- WELL, I'LL LEAVE YOU THREE
TO GET ACQUAINTED.

YOUNG PEOPLE TODAY
DON'T NEED ANYTHING MORE

THAN AN INTRODUCTION.

- SNAPPY PARTY.

OH--OH, YES.

VERY SNAPPY.

OH, NO, THANK YOU.

- WELL, I DIDN'T THINK
YOU WERE THE TYPE,

BUT THESE DAYS
YOU CAN'T TELL.

- SMOKING SHORTENS YOUR WIND.

THAT'S WHY ATHLETES
NEVER SMOKE.

SAY, THERE'S A FRIEND
OF MY FAMILY

I OUGHT TO GO OVER
AND SPEAK TO.

- UH, CAN'T IT WAIT
UNTIL LATER, ROGER?

- I WOULDN'T WANT TO MISS HIM.

MY MOTHER
WOULD NEVER FORGIVE ME.

MISS BIDDLE.

- YOO-HOO, CORDELIA.

ABSOLUTELY HEAVENLY PARTY.

- YES. HEAVENLY.

- SO MANY ATTRACTIVE MEN.

- MY ROOMMATE.

- WE'RE PLAYING HARVARD
NEXT WEEK.

- YALE.
- OH.

*

- MR. BLAKELY,
I'M TERRIBLY SORRY.

I PROMISED THIS DANCE.

- YES. THE FIRST ONE-STEP--
I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND.

- OH, NO.
NO, OF COURSE NOT.

- OH, NO, I COULDN'T.
- TELL HER I SUGGESTED IT.

- WELL,
WHEN YOUR PARTNER COMES.

- OH, BUT YOU
NEEDN'T WAIT AROUND.

HE'LL BE HERE ANY SECOND.

I CAN KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR HIM.

- OH, I DON'T THINK
YOU KNOW HIM.

WELL, IT'S--

- ANGIER DUKE.

THIS IS OUR DANCE,
ISN'T IT?

THE FIRST ONE

- YES.
MR. DUKE, MR. BLAKELY.

- YOU CAN'T KEEP HER
TO YOURSELF

ALL EVENING, MR. BLAKELY.

- NO, I GUESS NOT.

MISS BIDDLE.

- HE'S PROBABLY
A NICE ENOUGH FELLOW

WHEN YOU GET TO KNOW HIM.

SHALL WE HAVE OUR DANCE?

- MR. DUKE,
WHY DID YOU DO THAT?

- BECAUSE I THOUGHT
I'D LIKE TO KNOW YOU.

WORKED OUT REAL WELL,
DIDN'T IT?

*

- WHY DO YOU WANT
TO KNOW ME?

- BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT LIKE
THE OTHER GIRLS.

I MEAN THAT IN THE NICEST WAY.

I DON'T LIKE
THESE PUSHY GIRLS

WHO THINK THEY CAN TRAP ANY MAN
WITH A BIG ACT.

- BUT YOU SAW ME PRACTICING.
DIDN'T IT SCARE YOU AWAY?

- NO.
YOU WERE SO BAD AT IT.

- OH.

OH, IT'S A WALTZ.

THE WALTZ IS FOR OLD PEOPLE.

*

- I WARNED YOU,
I'M NOT A VERY GOOD DANCER.

- OH, NONSENSE, MR. BLAKELY.

YOU'RE AS LIGHT AS AN ELF.

- I DON'T THINK THE WALTZ
IS FOR OLD PEOPLE.

- I WAS JUST SAYING SOMETHING
SOMEBODY TOLD ME.

*

* ARE WE REALLY HERE?

* IS THIS FEELING
SOMETHING REAL *

* OR WILL IT DISAPPEAR?

* ARE WE DANCING?

* DOES THE MUSIC SOAR?

* WAS THIS LOVELY SONG
I HEAR *

* EVER HEARD BEFORE?

* ARE YOUR EYES
CONFESSING THINGS *

* I ALONE CAN SEE?

* OR IS MY IMAGINATION

* FLYING AWAY WITH ME?

* ARE WE DANCING?

* SAY WE REALLY ARE

* THEN I'LL KNOW THAT I

* REACHED INTO THE SKY

* I REACHED INTO THE SKY

* AND TOUCHED A STAR

*

- * IS THIS FEELING
SOMETHING REAL *

* OR WILL IT DISAPPEAR?

*

* WAS THIS LOVELY SONG
I HEAR *

* EVER HEARD BEFORE?

both:
* ARE YOUR EYES

* CONFESSING THINGS

* I ALONE CAN SEE?

* OR IS MY IMAGINATION

* FLYING AWAY WITH ME?

* ARE WE DANCING?

* SAY WE REALLY ARE

- * THEN I'LL KNOW THAT I

- * I'LL KNOW THAT I

- * REACHED INTO THE SKY

- * REACHED TO THE SKY

both:
* I REACHED INTO THE SKY

* AND TOUCHED

* A STAR

- IT'S BEAUTIFUL,
ISN'T IT?

- IT'S MORE THAN BEAUTIFUL.

IT'S A-A MASTERPIECE
OF ENGINEERING...

WELL, A ROLLS ROYCE
SILVER GHOST.

- OH.

YES, IT'S VERY NICE.

- YOU KNOW,
THE CHASSIS OF THAT CAR

IS--IS BOLTED TOGETHER
WITH SPECIAL TAPERED BOLTS

MADE TO FIT HOLES
THAT WERE REAMED BY HAND.

- YEAH.

IT'S PRACTICALLY
SEWN TOGETHER.

- WELL, I DON'T KNOW
VERY MUCH ABOUT CARS.

- OH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO KNOW
MUCH TO APPRECIATE A ROLLS.

IF YOU WERE JUST ONCE
OUT ON THE ROAD IN THAT CAR...

OH, SAY, IT'S COLD OUT HERE,
ISN'T IT?

CAN I GET YOUR COAT?

MY UNCLE HAS A SILVER GHOST.

I'VE DRIVEN IT.

I'VE BEEN
UP TO 75 MILES AN HOUR...

SMOOTH AS SILK.

THE SUSPENSION SYSTEM...

REALLY IS REMARKABLE.

MAY I SEE YOU AGAIN?

- NOW YOU HAVE TO.

*

- PARDON ME, CORDELIA.

MY FRIENDS,
I'D LIKE TO OFFER A TOAST...

TO OUR GUESTS OF HONOR

AND TO THE ENTIRE
MARINE CORPS,

THE MOST GLORIOUS INSTITUTION
GOD EVER PUT

ON THIS BROAD GREEN EARTH.

I RECENTLY TRAVELED
TO WASHINGTON

TO SEE IF ANYONE THERE
WAS CONCERNED

ABOUT THIS WAR THAT'S GOT
HALF THE WORLD IN FLAMES.

I WAS TREATED
TO A LOT OF EXCUSES

AND A LOT OF--
A LOT OF SPEECHES,

UNTIL I GOT TO THE MARINES.

- IT'S GOING TO BE
A LONG EVENING.

- WHEN I TALKED
TO THE MARINE COMMANDANT

ABOUT PREPAREDNESS,
HE UNDERSTOOD.

WHEN I TOLD HIM THERE WERE
5,000 MEN HERE IN PHILADELPHIA

READY AND EAGER TO BE TRAINED,
HE WAS INTERESTED.

THESE THREE YOUNG MEN
ARRIVED THIS MORNING

AS PROOF OF HIS SINCERITY.

THEY'RE GOING TO WORK
WITH OUR PHILADELPHIA CORPS.

AND IF WAR COMES, BY GEORGE,
WE'RE GOING TO BE READY.

* I BELIEVE IN THIS COUNTRY

* BUT OUR COUNTRY'S
UNPREPARED *

* OUR DEFENSES AREN'T WORTH
A HILL OF BEANS *

* SO WHEN A MAN LOVES
HIS COUNTRY *

* SHOULD HE SIT BACK
AND COMPLAIN *

* OR CALL OUT
THE UNITED STATES MARINES? *

* WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

* WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

* WHAT BETTER WAY,
WHAT BETTER MEANS *

* TO TAKE MY STAND
WITH THE MARINES *

* WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

TO THE MARINE CORPS.

GENTLEMEN, I WANT TO SAY AGAIN
IT'S GOOD TO HAVE YOU WITH US.

- THANK YOU.

- SIR,
IS THE PHILADELPHIA CORPS

THE SAME THING
AS THE BIDDLE BIBLE CLASSES?

- WELL, IT GREW OUT OF THAT.

THE BIBLE CLASSES
ARE THE HARDCORE.

- UH, THE CORE OF THE CORPS.

- YES, YOU MIGHT SAY THAT.

- WELL, MR. BIDDLE,
YOU'VE DONE A SWELL JOB

GETTING ALL THOSE MEN TOGETHER.

I THINK IT'S GREAT,
A MAN LIKE YOURSELF

TAKING SUCH AN INTEREST.

- YES, AN OLDER MAN
WITH PLENTY OF MONEY.

AND I PROMISE YOU, SIR,
WE'LL HAVE THEM

SNAPPING TO IN NO TIME.

- LIEUTENANT, I ALREADY
HAVE THEM SNAPPING TO.

I EXPECT YOU
TO TAKE IT FROM THERE.

- WILL YOU TAKE SECONDS,
GENTLEMEN?

- NO, THANK YOU.

THE ONE THING MY MEN NEED
IS FORMAL COMBAT TRAINING.

I'M DEPENDING
ON YOU GENTLEMEN FOR THAT.

- JOHN, WOULD YOU PLEASE
TELL MRS. WORTH

THAT I'D LIKE TO SERVE DINNER
AS SOON AS POSSIBLE?

- YES, MA'AM.

- IT'S TRENCH FIGHTING
THAT'S GOING TO WIN THIS WAR.

I WANT MY MEN TO LEARN
HOW TO USE A BAYONET

AND THE BUTT OF A GUN.

- OH, WE'VE GOT A TRAINING
PROGRAM ALL SET UP, SIR,

AND CLOSE COMBAT
IS A PART OF IT.

- A BIG PART, I HOPE.
IT'LL SAVE LIVES.

I KNOW I'M ANXIOUS TO LEARN.

- IT'S PRETTY STRENUOUS
EXERCISE, MR. BIDDLE.

- OF COURSE, YOU'LL BE WELCOME
TO OBSERVE, SIR.

- GENTLEMEN, MAY I SHOW YOU
AROUND THE PLACE?

WE'LL START WITH THE STABLES.
THIS WAY, GENTLEMEN.

THE STABLES ARE RIGHT OUT HERE,
ACROSS THE TERRACE.

- OH, DEAR, LET'S NOT MOVE
THE ENTIRE PARTY OUTSIDE.

- IT LOOKS AS IF ANTHONY
MIGHT LEARN A LESSON TONIGHT.

I'M TEMPTED TO GO OUT THERE
AND WATCH MYSELF.

- AUNT MARY,

YOU FORGET THAT ANTHONY'S
BOXED WITH CHAMPIONS.

- BUT THEY WERE FRIENDS,
CORDELIA,

AND PROFESSIONALS.

THESE YOUNG MEN
ARE NOT FRIENDS,

AND THERE IS NOTHING
SO DANGEROUS

AS THE INSPIRED AMATEUR.

- YES, I FIXED THIS PLACE UP
TO PROVIDE SOME HEALTHY FUN

AND RELAXATION FOR MYSELF
AND THE REST OF THE FAMILY.

SAY, WOULD ANY OF YOU LIKE
TO GO A ROUND OR TWO

BEFORE DINNER?

HOW ABOUT YOU MARINES?

DO ANY OF YOU KNOW
HOW TO BOX?

- OH, WE ALL KNOW
HOW TO BOX, SIR.

THAT'S PART OF OUR TRAINING.
- FINE.

JOHN!

- YOU WANT TO BOX
WITH ME, SIR?

- OH, WE'LL JUST GO
A COUPLE OF ROUNDS, LIEUTENANT.

THANK YOU.

YOU KNOW, UH, A LOT
OF OLDER MEN TAKE UP SPORTS

OF ONE KIND OR ANOTHER
JUST TO PASS THE TIME.

JOHN!

- YES. WOULD YOU KEEP TIME
FOR US, JOHN?

- YES, SIR.

- WE BOX BY COLLEGE RULES
HERE, LIEUTENANT.

TWO-MINUTE ROUNDS.

THANK YOU, JOHN.

WELL, ARE YOU READY,
LIEUTENANT?

- YES, SIR.
- ALL RIGHT, JOHN.

- TIME, GENTLEMEN.

- THE MEN
IN THE PHILADELPHIA CORPS

HAVE A LOT TO LEARN
ABOUT MILITARY SCIENCE.

BUT, UH...

BUT YOU WILL FIND THEM
WELL-DISCIPLINED

AND PHYSICALLY FIT.

OH, SO THAT'S YOUR STYLE,
IS IT?

BILL O'BRIEN USED TO LEAN
ON HIS LEFT LIKE THAT.

POOR BILL, HE NEVER WAS
A REALLY TOP FIGHTER.

ONE THING TO REMEMBER
ABOUT THE PHILADELPHIA CORPS,

THEY'RE CIVILIANS.

YOU'LL GET A LOT MORE
OUT OF THEM IF YOU LEAD THEM

RATHER THAN BULLY THEM.

KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

OH, LIEUTENANT!

WELL, THAT WAS JUST
A LUCKY PUNCH.

MIGHT JUST AS WELL
HAVE HAPPENED TO ME.

COME ON.

HEY, THAT WAS, UH--
THAT WAS QUICK THINKING,

CATCHING OLD JIM CORBETT
IN YOUR LAP LIKE THAT, HEH HEH.

JOHN, THAT'S A BAD SPOT
FOR OLD JIM UP THERE.

I'LL BET WE'VE KNOCKED HIM
OFF THAT WALL

AT LEAST A DOZEN TIMES.

YOU KNOW, CORBETT AND I SPARRED
IN THIS VERY RING

SEVERAL TIMES--
HE WAS A GREAT FIGHTER.

WELL, WHO'S NEXT?

- WELL, DON'T YOU THINK
WE OUGHT TO GO BACK, SIR?

- WE WOULDN'T WANT
TO DELAY DINNER, SIR.

- WELL, THAT'S
VERY CONSIDERATE.

WE'LL REJOIN THE LADIES, THEN.

OH, JOHN, WOULD YOU GET SOME ICE
FOR THE LIEUTENANT'S LIP?

IT'LL KEEP THE SWELLING DOWN.

- I'LL BRING SOME
DIRECTLY, SIR.

AS SOON AS I GER MR. CORBETT
BACK UP ON THE WALL.

- HEY, YOU KNOW, I'VE WORKED UP
A LITTLE APPETITE.

YES, BOXING ALWAYS HELPS
MY APPETITE--

GREATEST SPORT IN THE WORLD.

- MR. BIDDLE,
I'VE GOT A PROPOSITION.

IF YOU WON'T TELL THE MEN
OF THE PHILADELPHIA CORPS

THAT YOU TOOK THE BEST BOXER
AMONG US IN ONE ROUND,

WHY, WE'LL TEACH YOU ALL
THE CLOSE COMBAT YOU WANT, SIR.

- FINE, FINE.
I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.

OH, SAY, GENTLEMEN,
BEFORE WE GO IN TO DINNER,

I WANT TO SHOW YOU
MY ALLIGATORS.

all:
* WHAT BETTER WAY

* WHAT BETTER MEANS

* TO TAKE YOUR STAND
WITH THE MARINES *

all:
* WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

- COME ON, GENTLEMEN,
I'LL SHOW YOU THE ALLIGATORS.

- THE DAYS OF THE CUSTOM CAR
ARE NUMBERED.

EVEN IN LUXURY AUTOMOBILES,

STANDARDIZATION IS
A PRACTICAL NECESSITY,

NOT ONLY FOR THE MANUFACTURER,

BUT FOR THE INDIVIDUAL
CAR OWNER AS WELL.

TAKE A CAR LIKE THE MARMON...
- I'D RATHER NOT.

- ANGIE, DO YOU THINK
WE COULD TALK ABOUT SOMETHING

BESIDES AUTOMOBILES
FOR A CHANGE?

WORLD AFFAIRS OR THE WEATHER.

- I'M SORRY, CORDY.

- OR YOU.

I'D REALLY LOVE TO HEAR
ABOUT YOU.

- OKAY, ME.

- WHAT KIND OF MUSIC
DO YOU LIKE?

- LET ME SEE,
MY FAVORITE BOOK...

- LET'S TALK
ABOUT YOUR CAREER.

WELL, THERE'S NOT MUCH
TO TELL.

WE'RE IN TOBACCO.

AS A BUSINESS, I MEAN?

- WELL, I GUESS SO.

- I HAVEN'T THOUGHT THAT MUCH
ABOUT IT.

IT'S A FAMILY BUSINESS,

AND I GUESS
I'LL TAKE IT OVER SOMEDAY.

- IS THERE SOMETHING
YOU'D RATHER DO?

- YES, BUT YOU SAID YOU WANTED
TO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE.

- OH, NO.

YOU MEAN
YOU WANT TO MAKE A CAREER

OUT OF AUTOMOBILES?

- * THERE'S A SHINY CITY
WEST OF HERE *

* WHERE DREAMS ARE BOOMING
INTO GEAR *

* IT'S NO HUMDRUM,
9:00 TO 5:00 TOWN *

* IT'S A GROWING, GOING

* BRIGHT, ALIVE TOWN

*

* GOLDEN SPARKS
LIGHT UP THE SKIES THERE *

* LIKE A THOUSAND
FOURTH OF JULYS THERE *

* HOW I WANT TO STAKE A CLAIM

* AND ROLL UP MY SLEEVES

* AND MAKE A NAME IN

* DETROIT

- MICHIGAN.

* YOU CAN HEAR IT HUMMING,
SEE IT COMING *

* FEEL IT EVERYWHERE YOU GO

* IT'S TOMORROW MORNING

* THE FUTURE DAWNING

* WITH A BRIGHT
AND SHINING GLOW *

* IT'S A LAND
WHERE GOLDEN CHARIOTS *

* ARE MOLDED OUT OF DREAMS

* DETROIT

* DETROIT

* DETROIT

* DETROIT

* IT'S DETROIT

* OH, IF I COULD BE THERE

* I'D BE FREE THERE

* STANDIN' ON MY OWN
TWO FEET *

* I'D INVENT NEW MOTORS,
DESIGN NEW ROTORS *

* I'D BE
IN THE DRIVER'S SEAT *

* I'D MAKE ALL MY DREAMS
REALITIES *

* OH, I'D BE ON MY WAY

* IN DETROIT

* DETROIT

* DETROIT

* DETROIT

* IN DETROIT

* OTHERS ARE GIVING

* THEIR DREAMS A TRY

* IF OTHERS CAN DREAM THERE

* WHY CAN'T I?

CORDY, YOU'D BE AMAZED
AT THE THINGS

THEY'RE DOING OUT THERE.

THEY'RE WORKING
ON A TWO-RANGE TRANSMISSION,

FOUR-WHEEL BRAKES!

- UH, DO YOU THINK THEY COULD DO
SOMETHING ABOUT THE SEATS?

- SURE. THAT'S EASY.

THERE'S HOT WATER
IN THE RADIATOR.

- HOW ABOUT A GRAMOPHONE,

SO WE COULD HAVE MUSIC
ON LONG TRIPS?

- SURE. IT'S POSSIBLE.

- OH, I DON'T KNOW
ABOUT THAT.

- OKAY, ANY COLOR YOU WANT.

* SO YOU SEE

* WHERE THE RAINBOW ENDS
FOR ME *

* IS KNOWN TO THE WORLD

* AS F.O.B. DETROIT

- I DON'T KNOW.
I'LL FIND OUT.

CORDY...
YOU THINK I'M CRAZY?

ABOUT DETROIT, I MEAN.

BOY, MY MOTHER DOES.

- * IF YOU HEAR IT HUMMING

* SEE IT COMING

* THAT'S THE PLACE
WHERE YOU MUST GO *

* BUT TO MAKE
YOUR NAME THERE *

* YOU MUST STAKE
YOUR CLAIM THERE *

* AND LET NO ONE TELL YOU NO

- THEN YOU DON'T THINK
I'M CRAZY.

* THEN MY DREAMS
OF GOLDEN CHARIOTS *

* IN DETROIT

* CAN ALL COME TRUE

* FOR YOU HEAR IT HUMMING

* AND YOU SEE IT COMING

* AND YOU

* WANT TO BE THERE

* TOO

- OH!

OH. OOH!

HURRY.

- WELL, THOSE MEN
LOOKED GOOD TONIGHT.

YES, SIR,
LIKE SEASONED TROOPERS.

DON'T YOU THINK
THEY LOOKED GOOD?

- YES, DEAR.
THEY LOOKED COLD TOO.

I WAS SORRY FOR THEM.

- WELL, THEY'RE GONNA HAVE TO
FIGHT BATTLES IN COLD WEATHER.

- OH, I WASN'T
CRITICIZING, DEAR.

IT WAS A LOVELY PARADE.

OH, IT'S COLD INHERE.
- YES, IT IS.

- YOU KNOW, I THINK
THE FURNACE MUST BE OFF.

- NO, THE RADIATOR'S HOT.

- WELL, THERE'S A TERRIBLE DRAFT
COMING FROM SOMEWHERE.

THE CONSERVATORY,
I THINK.

JOHN!

MY ALLIGATORS!
LOOK AT MY ALLIGATORS!

JOHN!

GEORGE...

JOHN!

YOU YELLED, SIR?

WHY ARE THESE WINDOWS OPEN?

- MUST HAVE BEEN
THE NEW MAID, SIR.

- HER NAME IS FLORENCE, DEAR.
SHE STARTED THIS AFTERNOON.

- SHE WAS COMPLAINING
ABOUT THE SMELL.

- WELL, THE ALLIGATORS.

THEY DO HAVE A CERTAIN--

- UH, WE'RE ACCUSTOMED
TO IT, DEAR.

- OH.

- SHE PROBABLY DECIDED
TO GIVE THE ROOM AN AIRING...

AND FORGOT TO CLOSE UP AGAIN.

- WELL, OF ALL
THE BLASTED, STUPID--

GET AN AXE.

- ANTHONY!

- NOT FOR FLORENCE.
FOR THE ALLIGATORS.

MAYBE THEY'RE STILL ALIVE
IN THERE.

WE'LL CHOP 'EM OUT.
AN AXE! MOVE!

DEAD, DEAD, DEAD.

- GET SOME MORE TOWELS, JOHN.

- YES, MA'AM.

- ANTHONY,
IT'S AFTER MIDNIGHT.

- YEAH.

BUT I HATE TO GIVE UP.

- I KNOW, DEAR,
BUT THERE COMES A TIME.

- I'LL GET IT.

- DEAD, DEAD, DEAD.

YES, THIS IS MR. BIDDLE.
WHO'S CALLING?

OH, YES.

HOW LONG AGO?

WELL, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
ABOUT IT?

HAVE YOU CALLED THE POLICE?

WELL, THEN, CALL THEM,
BLAST IT!

I WANT THAT BLASTED TOWN
TURNED UPSIDE DOWN.

DO YOU HEAR?
ALL RIGHT.

AND CALL ME BACK
THE MINUTE YOU KNOW ANYTHING.

- YES.

SHE'S MISSING.

- THREE HOURS PAST CURFEW,

AND NOBODY UP THERE
HAS ANY IDEA WHERE SHE IS.

THAT'S A FINE WAY
TO RUN A PRISON.

YOU DON'T SUPPOSE
SHE'S BEEN KIDNAPPED?

- OH, ANTHONY,
FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE.

- WELL, IT HAPPENS.

OPERATOR!

- DON'T DO ANYTHING FOOLISH.

OUR DAUGHTER
IS HEAVEN KNOWS WHERE--

OPERATOR!
- HELLO.

- CORDY.

- MOTHER!

- CORDY!
- PAPA!

- OF COURSE I'M ALL RIGHT.

- YOU'RE NOT HURT
IN ANY WAY?

- WE JUST HAD A CALL
FROM MISS WINGFIELD.

- OH.

I WAS HOPING WE'D GET HERE
BEFORE THAT HAPPENED.

THE BAD WEATHER HELD US UP.

- YES.

MY FIANCE.

- HIS NAME IS
ANGIER BUCHANAN DUKE.

HE'S IN THE CAR.

- DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME
THAT SOME BOY

IS SITTING OUT THERE
IN FRONT OF THIS HOUSE

THINKING HE'S GOING
TO MARRY YOU?

- ANTHONY, PLEASE!

- HE WANTED TO MAKE SURE
I GOT IN ALL RIGHT.

I'LL TELL HIM HE CAN GO NOW.

GOOD NIGHT.

- AREN'T YOU GOING TO
ASK HIM IN?

- NO, MOTHER,
I DON'T THINK SO.

I'LL CALL YOU IN THE MORNING.

- WE DON'T EVEN GET A CHANCE
TO SEE HIM?

- OF COURSE YOU'LL SEE HIM...
WHEN YOU'RE READY.

- I AM READY NOW.

- NO, PAPA, I'M NOT GONNA
LET YOU AT HIM,

NOT UNTIL YOU GET USED
TO THE IDEA.

- WHERE DID YOU MEET
THIS YOUNG MAN, CORDY?

- AT A PARTY AUNT GLADYS
AND UNCLE BILL GAVE.

I WROTE YOU ABOUT IT.

- YOU DIDN'T WRITE US
ABOUT GETTING ENGAGED!

- BUT HE DIDN'T ASK ME
UNTIL TODAY.

- OH, NOW, ANTHONY.

- PAPA, I THINK YOU'LL
REALLY LIKE HIM VERY MUCH

IF YOU JUST GIVE HIM
A CHANCE.

- OF COURSE WE'LL GIVE HIM
A CHANCE.

- HELLO, JOHN!

- OH, YOU LOOK FINE!
- BECAUSE I'M HAPPY.

I'M ENGAGED.

WELL, ISN'T THAT GRAND?

I'M VERY HAPPY FOR YOU.

ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL NEWS,
MRS. BIDDLE?

ISN'T IT JUST--

YES, WELL, I'D BEST BE
GETTING THESE TOWELS

INTO THE PARLOR.

- WE, UH...

WE HAD A SORT OF ACCIDENT
THIS EVENING.

BUT I THINK WE SHOULD ALL
GO UP TO BED NOW

AND TALK IN THE MORNING, HMM?

- I AM TIRED.

OH, WE GOT STUCK
IN THE SNOW TWICE,

AND--AND WE THOUGHT
WE'D BROKEN THE AXEL,

AND THEN THE FAN BELT
CAME OFF.

BUT IT WAS FUN.
GOOD NIGHT, MOTHER.

GOOD NIGHT, DARLING.

- IT'S SO NICE TO BE HOME.

I LOVE YOU, PAPA.

GOOD NIGHT.

- GOOD NIGHT.

"MY FIANCE," SHE SAYS,
WITHOUT BATTING AN EYE.

AND YOU JUST STAND THERE.

AND I JUST STAND THERE.

WE'VE NEVER MET
THE YOUNG MAN.

WE DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT HIM.

- WHAT'S THAT GOT
TO DO WITH IT?

SHE'S A CHILD.
- SHE'S A YOUNG WOMAN.

YOU CAN'T HOLD BACK
THE CLOCKS, ANTHONY.

- CORDELIA, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

I'M NOT TRYING TO HOLD BACK
ANY CLOCKS.

SHE'S NOT READY FOR MARRIAGE.
- YOU'RE NOT READY.

- WELL, I'M NOT GOING TO
SIT STILL FOR IT.

- ANTHONY,
YOU'LL BE MAKING

THE GREATEST MISTAKE
OF YOUR LIFE

IF YOU TRY TO STOP
THIS ENGAGEMENT.

- IS IT WRONG FOR ME
TO TRY TO PROTECT MY DAUGHTER?

- CORDY HAS A MIND
OF HER OWN.

FACED WITH AN OBSTACLE,
SHE WILL PROCEED

WITH STILL GREATER
DETERMINATION.

YOU, OF ALL PEOPLE,
OUGHT TO KNOW THAT.

YOU DON'T WANT TO PUSH HER
INTO AN ELOPEMENT.

COME ON.

YOU KNOW, I'M ANXIOUS TO SEE
WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE.

- I BELIEVE
YOU'RE ENJOYING THIS.

WELL, IN A WAY, I AM.

IT'S A VERY EXCITING TIME.

- EXCI--
CORDELIA...

SOMETIMES YOU AMAZE ME.

- I HOPE SO, ANTHONY.

- IT NEVER RAINS,
BUT IT POURS--

TO LOSE YOUR ONLY DAUGHTER
AND YOUR PET ALLIGATORS

ALL ON THE SAME BLACK NIGHT.

- AAH!

AAH!

- WHAT'S ALL THE BLASTED--
- AAH!

- ANTHONY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
DOWN THERE?

- WELL, THE GIRL'S CRAZY.

THAT STUFF SHE USES
TO COLOR HER HAIR

MUST'VE GONE TO HER BRAIN.

MISS, WOULD YOU MIND
TELLING ME WHAT--

- AAH!

- AAH!

WELL!

WELL, I'LL BE!

- EVERYTHING'S ALL RIGHT NOW.

THAT NITWIT GIRL
FRIGHTEN YOU

THEY'RE NOT DEAD!

JOHN!

JOHN!

- JOHN, THEY'RE NOT DEAD.

- YES, SIR.
I-I KNOW, SIR.

COME ON, GEORGE.
- GEORGE!

CORDELIA, IT'S GEORGE!

- THEY'RE NOT DEAD.

- AAH!

- WHOA!
- AAH!

- GEORGE.
GEORGE, COME BACK HERE.

- AAH!

- ALLOW ME, SIR.

GEORGE.

- GEORGE, NOT OUTSIDE.
YOU'LL FREEZE ALL OVER AGAIN.

- OH...
HERE YOU ARE, MOTHER.

ALL RIGHT, OUT OF THERE.

- RUN ALONG NOW.

IN THE CONSERVATORY.
UH, UH...

THANK YOU.

- COME ON.
YOU HEARD WHAT MOTHER SAID--

INTO THE CONSERVATORY.

DID, UH, GEORGE COME BACK
IN HERE AGAIN?

- I DIDN'T SEE HIM, DEAR.

- TAKE A LOOK
IN THE DINING ROOM, JOHN.

WHERE DO YOU SUPPOSE
HE GOT TO?

- THERE'S BREAKFAST
TO GET ON THE TABLE,

IN CASE YOU FORGOT.

- OH, HOW CAN YOU BE SO CALM

WITH THOSE MONSTERS
ON THE LOOSE?

- THEY KNOW BETTER
THAN TO GET IN MY WAY.

YOU CAN FILL THE CREAM PITCHER
AND GET BUSY SETTING THE TABLE.

- OH...OH...

- AAH!

OH!

- IDIOT GIRL.

- NONE OF 'EM STAY
VERY LONG.

- I'LL TEACH YOU
TO MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME IN--

COME OUT, GEORGIE!

OH...ME NEW BROOM.

YOU DROP THAT!
DROP IT, I SAY!

YOU UNGODLY BEAST.

YOU'D BE A HANDBAG
IF I HAD MY WAY.

GO ON! UNH! UNH!

- YOU SHOULD HAVE LET OUT
A CALL, MRS. WORTH.

I'D HAVE GIVEN YOU A HAND.

- THANK YOU, MR. LAWLESS.
IT WASN'T NECESSARY.

I MANAGE VERY WELL
ON ME OWN.

BREAKFAST WILL BE
IN HALF AN HOUR.

I HAVE TO SLICE
SOME MORE BACON.

- THANK YOU, MRS. WORTH.

- WELL--WELL, I-I THINK
WE'D BETTER GET DRESSED.

THAT GIRL MAY COME BACK HERE
WITH THE POLICE.

- CORDY.

- CORDY, I'VE BEEN THINKING
THINGS OVER,

AND I REALIZE
I ACTED BADLY LAST NIGHT.

I WANT YOU TO INVITE
YOUR YOUNG MAN TO DINNER,

SO I CAN, AS YOU SAY,
GIVE HIM A CHANCE.

- THANK YOU, PAPA.

- WELL, YOU KNOW,
I WORKED UP QUITE AN APPETITE.

I THINK I'D RATHER HAVE SCRAPPLE
THAN BACON.

MRS. WORTH?

- THANK YOU, MOTHER.

- FOR HELPING PAPA
CHANGE HIS MIND.

ARE YOU SURE?

- OH...

- THERE'S
AN OLD IRISH PROVERB--

TO HAVE YOUR ALLIGATORS
THAWED OUT

AND YOUR DAUGHTER FORGIVE YOU
ALL ON THE SAME BRIGHT DAY...

THAT'S FORTUOSITY.

- NO ONE, SIR.

- WELL, YOU KNOW
WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT PEOPLE

WHO TALK TO THEMSELVES.

IT'S LIKE I SAID.
IT'S ANOTHER CASE OF...

* FORTUOSITY

* THAT'S ME BYWORD

* FORTUOSITY, ME--

GEORGE?

GEORGE?

* ROUND THE CORNER

AHA!

GEORGE?

GEORGE?

I'VE HAD ABOUT AS MUCH
AS I CAN STAND NOW.

GEORGE?
GEORGE!

- IN THE TANK.

- WILL YOU GET IN THE TANK
WHEN I TELL YOU?

- RIGHT.

AAAAH!
GEORGE!

GEORGE...

WILL YOU COME BACK HERE, YOU--

COME ON.

UHH...

AAAAA-UHH...

OH, DID I FRIGHTEN YOU, THEN?

HEY, GEORGE--

GEORGE!

GEORGE!

GEOR--
NOT IN THE MUSIC ROOM.

GET--GEORGE--

COME ON, GEORGE, UP.

HUT!
THAT'S A GOOD LAD.

THERE YOU GO.

COME ON, BOY.
THIS WAY, LAD.

THAT'S A GOOD MAN.
THERE YOU GO.

IT'S LIKE I SAID.

* EVERY BIT OF LIFE IS LIT

* BY FORTUOSITY

* THAT'S ME BYWORD

* EVERY BIT OF LIFE IS LIT

* BY FORTUOSI--

* A TWINKLE IN THE EYE WORD

* EVERY BIT OF LIFE IS LIT

* BY FOR-TU

* OS-I-TY

AAH!

COMING, SIR.

- YES, IT CAN ONLY BE
A MATTER OF WEEKS NOW.

EVEN THE WHITE HOUSE ADMITS
WE CAN'T STAY OUT OF THIS WAR.

I TRIED TO ENLIST,
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THEY TOLD ME?

"YOU'RE TOO OLD."

ME, IN THE PRIME OF LIFE,
FIT AS A FIDDLE, TOO OLD.

A LITTLE MORE WINE,
MR. DUKE?

- NO, THANK YOU, MR. BIDDLE.
I STILL HAVE A FULL GLASS.

I MEAN, WE HAVE OTHERS,
A WHOLE CELLAR FULL.

- NO, THANK YOU. NO.
I DON'T DRINK VERY MUCH.

IT GOES RIGHT TO MY HEAD.

- THAT'S WHERE
IT'S SUPPOSED TO GO

- SO YOU LIVE IN NEW YORK,
MR. DUKE?

- YES, MA'AM, I DO.

- YES, I GUESS SO.

- I NEVER COULD STAND
THE PLACE MYSELF.

HOW ABOUT YOUR WORK?

- WELL, NO, NOT REALLY.

TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, SIR--
- WELL, I DON'T BLAME YOU.

OFFICES ARE DEADLY PLACES.

THEY CONFINE A MAN,
SPIRITUALLY AND PHYSICALLY.

WHAT DO YOU DO TO ESCAPE?

YES.
YOU GO OUT FOR SPORTS?

- WELL, I-I HAVE A BOAT.

- A YACHT, PAPA.
- OH, A YACHT.

WELL, I SUPPOSE A MAN
CAN GET A KICK OUT OF A YACHT.

DO YOU?

- GET A KICK
OUT OF YOUR BLASTED YACHT?

- WELL...

I HAVEN'T BEEN ON IT
FOR A WHILE.

- WELL, I SUPPOSE
YOU'VE BEEN BUSY

GETTING READY FOR THE WAR.

- ANGIE'S GONNA
TURN HIS BOAT OVER, PAPA.

- TURN IT OVER.

WELL, THAT'S A GOOD THING
TO DO WITH A BOAT.

- TO THE COAST GUARD, PAPA.

- HMM.

- MOTHER THOUGHT
IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA.

- I SEE.

TELL ME, MR. DUKE,
WHAT ELSE DO YOU LIKE?

BESIDES SAILING, I MEAN.

HIKING

- I BROKE AN ANKLE
ONCE SKIING.

- DID YOU GET RIGHT BACK UP
ON THOSE SKIS AND TRY AGAIN?

- NO, SIR.
- WELL, YOU SHOULD HAVE.

- WELL, THE BONE
WAS KIND OF STICKING OUT.

- OH.

OH, THAT'S RIGHT,
IT, UH, GOES TO YOUR HEAD.

YOU DO ANY FISHING
OR HUNTING?

OR DO YOU BOX?

- NO, SIR, I--

I JUST DON'T SEEM
TO HAVE THE TIME.

- YOU SHOULD TAKE THE TIME.

I WAS A SICKLY CHILD,
MR. DUKE--ASTHMA.

AND THEN WHEN I WAS TEN,
I CAME DOWN WITH TYPHOID FEVER.

"WELL, THAT'S IT," THEY SAID.
"HE'LL NEVER MAKE IT."

BUT I DID MAKE IT.

AND SOMEHOW THE FEVER
KILLED THE ASTHMA.

IT WAS LIKE A MIRACLE.

AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT I LEARNED
AT THAT EARLY AGE, MR. DUKE?

THAT LIFE IS A PRECIOUS
AND WONDERFUL THING.

BUT YOU JUST CAN'T SIT THERE
AND LET IT LAP AROUND YOU.

YOU HAVE TO DIVE INTO IT.

YOU HAVE TO TASTE IT.
YOU HAVE TO FEEL IT.

YOU HAVE TO USE IT.

AND THE MORE YOU USE,
THE MORE YOU HAVE.

THAT'S THE WONDER OF IT.

- WOULD YOU LIKE
SOME MORE DESSERT, MR. DUKE?

- NO, THANK YOU,
MRS. BIDDLE.

IT'S DELICIOUS, THOUGH.

- IS SOMETHING WRONG,
MR. DUKE?

WELL, LOOK-IT THERE!

WELL, IT'S LUCY!

I'LL BET SHE'S BEEN HIDING
UNDER THERE ALL DAY,

WHERE IT'S WARM.

JOHN?
JOHN, LOOK WHAT I FOUND.

- ARE YOU ALL RIGHT,
MR. DUKE?

- YES, THANK YOU.

I DON'T FEEL WELL.
I-I THINK I'M GETTING A COLD.

- OH, CORDY,
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE MR. DUKE

INTO THE PARLOR?

- JOHN, BRING SOME MORE COFFEE
INTO THE PARLOR, WILL YOU?

- YOU LITTLE DEVIL.

WELL, DECIDED TO MAKE
A HOLIDAY OF IT, DID YOU?

- I TOLD YOU
HE KEEPS ALLIGATORS.

- IT'S NOT THAT.
I MEAN, IT'S NOT JUST THAT.

CORDY, HE SCARES ME TO DEATH.

- BUT THAT'S
THE WHOLE TROUBLE.

YOU'VE GOT TO STAND UP
TO HIM.

- I THINK HE'D PUNCH ME
IN THE NOSE.

- PUNCH HIM BACK.

OR BETTER STILL,
PUNCH HIM FIRST.

- WHEN HE COMES IN HERE,
YOU'VE GOT TO TALK UP TO HIM.

WHATEVER HE SAYS,
YOU DIVE RIGHT IN

AND CONTRADICT HIM.

- ESPECIALLY WHEN HE'S RIGHT.

- CORDY, I COULDN'T DO THAT.

- ANGIE, I WANT HIM
TO LIKE YOU,

AND I'M TELLING YOU
HOW TO GO ABOUT IT.

- ARE YOU FEELING BETTER,
MR. DUKE?

- OH, YES, THANK YOU.

IT WAS A LITTLE CLOSE
IN THERE.

- YES, IN THIS COLD WEATHER,
ONE HAS TO BE SO CAREFUL--

GOING OUTDOORS,
COMING IN.

- COLD WEATHER'S GOOD
FOR YOU.

CLEARS THE LUNGS.
PUTS THE HEART TO WORK.

- I LIKE HOT WEATHER.

- YES, SIR, I DO.

- WELL...

NOW WE KNOW.

- OVER HERE, PLEASE, JOHN.

- MR. BIDDLE, I UNDERSTAND
YOU'RE A REAL BOXING ENTHUSIAST.

- WELL, YES.

YES, FOR SOME YEARS NOW--

- I NEVER COULD SEE MUCH
IN IT AS A SPORT.

I-I MEAN, TWO MEN
JUST STANDING THERE

HITTING EACH OTHER.

IT DOESN'T SEEM TO HAVE
MUCH SUBTLETY TO IT.

- NO, SIR.

- JOHN, BRING IN THE GLOVES.

- YES, THE BOXING GLOVES.

- ANTHONY,
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING OF?

- I WANT TO SHOW MR. DUKE
SOME OF THE SUBTLETIES

OF THE SPORT AND CORRECT
HIS FALSE IMPRESSION.

JOHN AND I CAN BOX A QUICK
COUPLE OF ROUNDS.

FIGHTING YOU, SIR?

- UH, JUST A DEMONSTRATION.

MR. DUKE, WOULD YOU MIND MOVING
THAT CHAIR OUT OF THE WAY?

THE MEDIUM GLOVES, JOHN.

PARDON ME, CORDY.

- ANTHONY, I REALLY DON'T THINK
THIS IS THE TIME OR PLACE--

- CORDELIA, WE DON'T HAVE
TO STAND ON CEREMONIES

WITH MR. DUKE.

AFTER ALL, HE'S PRACTICALLY
A MEMBER OF THE FAMILY.

RIGHT, MR. DUKE?
- RIGHT, SIR.

AS A MATTER OF FACT, SIR,
I WAS JUST WONDERING,

WHY CAN'T I TRY IT?

WHAT'S THAT?

- WITHOUT KNOWING
WHAT YOU'RE DOING?

- FROM WHAT I'VE SEEN
OF THE SPORT,

THERE CAN'T BE
THAT MUCH TO IT.

- WELL, MR. DUKE--

- ANTHONY...
- I DON'T THINK SO.

- I THOUGHT THIS WAS ONE HOUSE

WHERE A MAN COULD GET
A FAIR FIGHT.

- JOHN, GIVE MR. DUKE
YOUR GLOVES, HMM?

- GLADLY, SIR.
ALLOW ME, MR. BIDDLE.

- CORDY, CAN YOU HELP ME
WITH THESE?

- ANGIE, I REALLY DON'T THINK
YOU HAVE TO GO THIS FAR.

- PLEASE.

- OKAY.

- YOU KEEP TIME, JOHN.

CORDELIA, HE WANTS TO.
YOU HEARD HIM.

- ANTHONY, I HOPE YOU KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

- I'LL BE CAREFUL WITH HIM.

- THAT ISN'T EXACTLY
WHAT I MEANT.

- YES, SIR.

- WE'LL SEE
IF WE CAN'T SHOW YOU

THAT THERE'S MORE TO BOXING
THAN YOU SEEM TO THINK THERE IS.

- ALL RIGHT, JOHN.
- TIME.

- NEVER TAKE YOUR EYE
OFF YOUR OPPONENT, MR. DUKE.

UH, MR. DUKE,
BOXING IS CALLED

THE ART OF SELF-DEFENSE
FOR GOOD REASON.

THAT MEANS YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO PROTECT YOURSELF.

HMM?

YOUR STOMACH, YOUR CHIN.

- KEEP CIRCLING, ANGIE.
KEEP CIRCLING.

IF I'D BEEN THROWING
HARD PUNCHES,

YOU'D BE IN TROUBLE--
PROTECT YOURSELF.

- KEEP YOUR CHIN TUCKED, ANGIE.

- TUCKED.

- NO, JUST KEEP IT
BEHIND YOUR SHOULDER,

SO YOU DON'T GET HURT, HMM?

ALL RIGHT, NOW YOU THROW
SOME PUNCHES AT ME, MR. DUKE.

- UH-UH, NEVER LEAD
WITH YOUR RIGHT, MR. DUKE.

YOU'RE OPEN FOR A LEFT HOOK.
SEE

THROW ANOTHER PUNCH.

NOW THE STOMACH. SEE?

YOU'RE NOT PROTECTING
YOURSELF, MR. DUKE.

A LITTLE MORE SUBTLE
THAN YOU THOUGHT,

ISN'T IT, MR. DUKE?

HEY, WAIT.

WHOA, NOW.
WAIT A MINUTE.

WAIT--WAIT--
WAIT A MINUTE, MR. DUKE.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

OH, YAY, MR. DUKE!

WAIT A MINUTE, NOW.

YOU SEE, MR. DUKE--

- ANGIE!

- MR. DUKE, YOU RAN
RIGHT INTO MY GLOVE.

- WILL HE NEED
THE ICE, SIR?

- OH, HE'S ALL RIGHT,
AREN'T YOU, MR. DUKE?

- YES, SIR.
SURE, I'M OKAY.

- WELL, I HOPE
YOU'RE NOT UPSET WITH ME.

- NO. IF I WERE UPSET
I'D TAKE CARE OF YOU.

- THAT'S RIGHT.

- WELL, NOW, I, UH--

I FIND MYSELF WONDERING
ABOUT THAT.

- YES, INDEED I DO.

- EXCUSE ME, JOHN.

SIR, WOULD YOU TAKE
YOUR BOXING STANCE

RIGHT HERE, PLEASE?

- ANGIE.

- CORDY, JUST STAND
RIGHT OVER HERE.

OOOOOOHH...

- OH! PAPA!

- SAY, THAT'S A--

THAT'S A PRETTY GOOD TRICK.

- WILL YOU BE NEEDING
THE ICE, SIR?

- OF COURSE I'M ALL RIGHT.

HE CAUGHT ME UNAWARES,
THAT'S ALL.

- WOULD YOU CARE
TO TRY IT AGAIN, SIR...

AWARES?

- CONFOUND IT, BOY,
I'VE HAD MY SHARE

OF ROUGHHOUSE FIGHTING,
YOU KNOW.

- COULDN'T ALL THIS WAIT
FOR ANOTHER TIME?

THE COFFEE'S REALLY GETTING
QUITE COLD.

- DON'T WORRY, MRS. BIDDLE,
NO ONE WILL GET HURT...

AT LEAST I WON'T.

- WHAT DO YOU WANT
TO DO, WRESTLE?

- IT'S CALLED JUJITSU, SIR.

IT'S A LITTLE
LIKE WRESTLING, YES.

- ANGIE, PLEASE!
HAVE YOU GONE CRAZY?

- YES, I THINK I HAVE, CORDY.

AND I FEEL RIGHT AT HOME.

- HEH HEH HEH.

OOOOOOOOHH..

- UH, MR. DUKE,
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

- I HOPE
I DIDN'T HURT YOU, SIR.

- WELL, NOTHING
THAT WON'T WEAR OFF.

- THAT'S A GRAND STYLE
OF FIGHTING, SIR.

I'D LIKE TO LEARN IT MESELF.

I'VE GOT A FEELING IT MIGHT
COME IN HANDY SOMEDAY.

- WE'VE ALL
GOT TO LEARN IT,

EVERY LAST MAN
IN THE PHILADELPHIA CORPS.

MR. DUKE,
I WANT TO THANK YOU.

THAT'S A REMARKABLE THING.

WHY, IT COULD MEAN
THE DIFFERENCE

BETWEEN LIFE AND DEATH
IN HAND-TO-HAND COMBAT.

YOU WILL TEACH IT TO ME,
WON'T YOU?

- YES, OF COURSE, SIR.

- THEN ONE OF THESE DAYS
WE'LL HAVE A RETURN MATCH.

WELL, CORDELIA,

THESE TWO YOUNG PEOPLE
HAVEN'T BEEN ALONE ALL EVENING.

- YES, WELL,
IT'S TIME TO SAY GOOD NIGHT.

IT'S BEEN SO NICE
HAVING YOU, MR. DUKE.

MAY I CALL YOU ANGIE?
- PLEASE.

- WELL, THEN GOOD NIGHT, ANGIE.

AND WE'LL SEE YOU
VERY SOON, HMM?

GOOD NIGHT, DEAR.

- GOOD NIGHT, MR. DUKE.
- GOOD NIGHT, SIR.

- YES, SIR.

- BY GEORGE, IT'S REMARKABLE!

GOOD NIGHT, CORDY.

- PAPA.

PAPA, THANK YOU.

HE COULD HAVE KILLED ME.

- CAN WE ANNOUNCE
OUR ENGAGEMENT SOON?

- YES, OF COURSE.

- AND CAN I GO TO NEW YORK
AND MEET ANGIE'S FAMILY?

- DEFINITELY.

THE BIDDLES AND THE DUKES WILL
HAVE TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER.

AND THE SOONER THE BETTER.

- ANGIE!

ANGIE, YOU SLY BOY.

WHATEVER HAVE YOU GONE
AND DONE?

- MOTHER, I'D LIKE YOU
TO MEET CORDELIA.

THE ONE YOU HAVE PICKED
OUT OF ALL THE WORLD

TO BE YOURS ALONE?

MY GOODNESS.

WHY, I NEARLY FAINTED
WHEN I GOT YOUR CALL.

ENGAGED, IMAGINE THAT--

AND TO A GIRL
FROM PHILADELPHIA.

WE'RE GOING TO HAVE
A BUSY SCHEDULE.

- MOTHER, I HOPE
YOU HAVEN'T TOLD PEOPLE.

CORDY AND I THOUGHT--
- ONLY A SELECT FEW.

COME ALONG, CORDELIA DEAR.

EVERYONE WHO KNOWS IS FRANTIC
TO ENTERTAIN YOU.

LORRAINE MANSFIELD
CALLED THREE TIMES.

*

- ANGIE.

OH, I THOUGHT
YOU'D NEVER COME.

- NO, I GOT STUCK
WITH MY COUSIN MARGARET.

- I'M FREEZING.

- HERE, I'LL FIX THAT.

- ANGIE,
ARE YOU OUT HERE?

OH, SO YOU ARE,
BEHIND A BUSH.

- WE CAME OUT
FOR A LITTLE FRESH AIR, MOTHER.

- THE LAST THING
WE NEED, ANGIE,

IS FOR YOU TO COME DOWN
WITH A COLD.

- WE'LL BE RIGHT IN, MOTHER.

- WELL, I'D APPRECIATE IT.
PEOPLE ARE ASKING FOR YOU.

EXCUSE ME.

PAPA!
- CORDY!

LET ME LOOK AT YOU.

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE GOING
TO END UP A REAL BEAUTY

IF YOU'RE NOT CAREFUL.

- OH, PAPA.

OH, I'M SO GLAD TO SEE YOU.

- OH, IT'S GOOD
TO SEE YOU, SWEETHEART.

WELL, COME OVER HERE
AND SIT DOWN.

NOW, TELL ME,
HOW DO YOU LIKE THE BIG CITY?

- OH, FINE.

THERE'S ALWAYS
SOMETHING GOING ON.

- YOU GET ALONG
WITH THE DUKES ALL RIGHT?

- YES, OF COURSE, PERFECTLY.

- CORDY...
OH, MR. BIDDLE!

- JUST FINE, SIR.

- KEEPING THAT JUJITSU
IN GOOD PRACTICE?

I'VE BEEN DOING
A LITTLE PRACTICING MYSELF.

- ANGIE.
- OH, MOTHER--

- OH.

- MOTHER, MAY I INTRODUCE
MR. BIDDLE.

- OH--

OH, WELL, THIS
IS A HAPPY SURPRISE.

- I'M VERY PLEASED
TO MEET YOU, MRS. DUKE.

- A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN HAS ALWAYS
BEEN SAFE WITH ME.

- OH, I DOUBT THAT,
MR. BIDDLE.

- MRS. DUKE,
MRS. BIDDLE AND I ARE SORRY

WE'VE HAD TO REFUSE THE KIND
INVITATIONS WE'VE RECEIVED,

BUT IT SEEMS THIS WAR
HAS BEEN TAKING UP ALL MY TIME.

- WELL, WE'VE ALL BEEN
DISAPPOINTED, NATURALLY.

WHAT FINALLY BROUGHT YOU
TO NEW YORK?

- I'M ON TOUR.

- WITH A SQUAD OF MARINES.

WE DEMONSTRATE
BAYONET TECHNIQUES.

- OH...

- IN AUDITORIUMS,
THEATERS--

ANYWHERE WE CAN FIND
THE SPACE.

- IT'S A RECRUITING DEVICE.

STIRS THE BLOOD
TO SEE THESE YOUNG MEN LOCKED

IN HAND-TO-HAND COMBAT.

- I'M SURE IT MUST.

- WE'RE, UH, JUST PASSING
THROUGH NEW YORK

ON OUR WAY TO BOSTON.

AND I COULDN'T RESIST
STOPPING OFF BETWEEN TRAINS

TO SEE MY LITTLE GIRL.

- WELL, IT'S BEEN A TREAT
FOR ALL OF US.

YOU'LL JOIN OUR PARTY,
OF COURSE?

- I'M AFRAID I CAN'T,
MRS. DUKE.

I HAVE A 10:00 TRAIN
TO CATCH.

- OH, WELL, I'LL GO WITH YOU
TO THE STATION.

- GOOD, CORDY.
I'D LIKE THAT.

IF YOU'LL EXCUSE HER
FOR A WHILE, MRS. DUKE.

- OH, BUT OF COURSE.

- EXCUSE ME.
I'LL GET MY WRAP.

- I CAN GET YOU A CAB, SIR.
- OH, THANK YOU.

- WELL,

IT WON'T BE LONG NOW.

THE WEDDING IN PHILADELPHIA.

- NO, NO, IT WON'T BE LONG.

AND HOW DO YOU LIKE IT?

- THEY MAKE A HANDSOME COUPLE.

- OH, YOU DON'T LIKE IT
ANY BETTER THAN I DO.

- IT TAKES GETTING USED TO.

YEAH.

WASN'T TOO LONG AGO

THAT ANGIER WOULDN'T PICK
A SUIT OF CLOTHES

WITHOUT ASKING MY OPINION.

NOW HE GOES OFF
TO LAKEWOOD FOR A WEEKEND

AND PICKS SOMEONE TO SPEND
THE REST OF HIS LIFE WITH.

- YES.

WELL.

MRS. DUKE, I WANT TO THANK YOU
FOR THE GENEROUS WAY

YOU'VE ENTERTAINED
MY DAUGHTER.

- IT'S MY PLEASURE,
MR. BIDDLE.

I LOVE SPECTACLE.

- WELL, I'M NOT SO SURE

HOW SPECTACULAR
YOU'LL FIND PHILADELPHIA,

BUT, UH, WE'LL CERTAINLY
DO OUR BEST.

- I'M SURE YOU WILL.

- GOOD NIGHT.

- GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT!

- I THINK I MIGHT
BE COMING HOME NEXT WEEK.

BUT I THOUGHT
YOU WERE GOING TO STAY

UNTIL THE END OF THE MONTH?

- WELL, I'M AWFULLY TIRED.

- YOU SURE
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG?

- OF COURSE I'M SURE.

I JUST WANT TO...

CURL UP IN MY OWN BED

IN MY OWN ROOM AND...

STAY THERE
FOR ABOUT A WEEK.

THEY'RE NOT LIKE US, PAPA.

- * WHEN A MAN HAS A DAUGHTER

* SHE'S ALWAYS IN HIS HEART

* HAPPINESS IS PART
OF ALL HIS PRAYERS *

* WHEN A MAN HAS A DAUGHTER

* HE WANTS HER LIFE TO BE

* AS SMOOTH AS SATIN RIBBON

* THAT SHE WEARS

* WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

* WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

* I WANT HER HOME

* WHERE SHE'S FREE OF CARE

* I MISS HER FOOTSTEPS

* ON THE STAIRS

* WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

- WELL, I FOUND SOME MORE PEOPLE
FOR YOU TO MEET.

- HOW DELIGHTFUL.

- GENTLEMEN, THIS IS
CORDY'S FUTURE MOTHER IN LAW.

MRS. DUKE,
MAY I PRESENT JOE TURNER?

- GLAD TO KNOW YOU,
MRS. DUKE.

- JOE IS ONE OF THE MAINSTAYS
IN MY BIBLE CLASSES.

YOU'D NEVER BELIEVE
HE WAS A BUM AND A DRUNK

WHEN I FOUND HIM.

- MR. BIDDLE SURE SAVED ME,
ALL RIGHT.

HE'S TOPS ON MY LIST.

- I'M SURE.

- YOU'RE MARRYING
INTO A FINE FAMILY.

- YES,
WE'LL TRY TO BE DESERVING.

- AND THIS IS BILL O'BRIEN.

BILL ONCE FOUGHT
FOR THE HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE.

- IF I'D HAVE LASTED
THAT THIRD ROUND,

I'D HAVE GOT HIM.

I WAS JUST GETTING ON
TO HIS TRICKS.

- IT'S REALLY SOMETHING
TO FIGHT FOR THE TITLE.

- OH, THERE'S MADAME LAFARGE.

FINEST VOICE TEACHER
IN PHILADELPHIA.

DO YOU LIKE OPERA, MRS. DUKE?

- SOMETIMES.

- MADAME LAFARGE
SINGS A MEAN CARMEN.

WOULD YOU EXCUSE ME?

- NICE PARTY.
HUH, MRS. DUKE?

- OH, YES. COLORFUL.

- WELL, WE CAN'T LET
NEW YORK OUTCLASS PHILADELPHIA.

THANKS, JOHN.

- SAY, UH, I COULD USE ANOTHER
SLUG OF THAT CHAMPAGNE PUNCH.

HOW ABOUT YOU, MRS. DUKE?

- OH, NO, THANK YOU.

I HAVEN'T FINISHED
THE... SLUG I ALREADY HAVE.

- TELL ME,

DOES MR. BIDDLE OFTEN
PRESENT HIMSELF IN CONCERT?

- FROM TIME TO TIME, MA'AM.

- HE SANG ONCE
AT A REAL OPERA.

- DRESSED UP
LIKE A CLOWN HE WAS,

AND SANG OUT LOUD AND CLEAR
THROUGH THE WHOLE THING.

- SOUNDS AS THOUGH HE WERE
APPROPRIATELY COSTUMED.

- PAPA DID PAGLIACCI

WITH THE MANHATTAN
OPERA COMPANY.

- YOU'RE JOKING.

- AT LEAST
HE FEELS LIKE SINGING.

- WELL, SO DO I SOMETIMES,

BUT I KEEP IT TO MYSELF.

- AREN'T YOU HAVING
ANYTHING TO EAT?

YOU MIGHT LIKE
THE SOUR PICKLES.

- OH, SHUT UP.

- HI.

YOU'RE CRYING.

- YOU'RE LATE.

- NO.

I'M CRYING BECAUSE...

OH, I DON'T KNOW WHY.

- CORDY,
THERE HAS TO BE A REASON.

- ANGIE...

WE'RE GONNA BE MARRIED
IN JUST THREE DAYS.

- I-I KNOW.

- I'M AFRAID.

EVER SINCE WE GOT ENGAGED,

I NEVER SEE YOU ALONE.

WE NEVER TALK.
WE NEVER TOUCH.

- I SEEM LIKE A TOTAL
STRANGER TO YOU, RIGHT?

- OH, YES, CORDY.

THAT'S WHY I WAS LATE TODAY.

I WAS SO NERVOUS
AND WORRIED ABOUT EVERYTHING,

I DECIDED TO TAKE A WALK,
TO CLEAR MY MIND,

TO GET THINGS STRAIGHT.

I-I WALKED CLEAR
TO THE DELAWARE RIVER.

- OH, ANGIE.

WE CAN'T LET THIS HAPPEN.

EVERYTHING WILL BE ALL RIGHT

ONCE WE GET AWAY FROM

PARTIES AND OUR FAMILIES,

AND--AND WE'RE ON OUR WAY
TO DETROIT.

WHAT IS IT?

- HOLD IT.

UH, JUST A MINUTE, MR. DUKE.

I'D LIKE
ANOTHER PICTURE PLEASE.

- LATER.

- CORDY, THERE'S SOMETHING
I HAVE TO TELL YOU

ABOUT DETROIT.

- WELL, UH, I'VE BEEN
GIVING IT SOME THOUGHT,

AND--AND I'VE COME
TO THE CONCLUSION THAT--

- ANGIER!
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

I FEEL LIKE DANIEL
IN THE LION'S DEN.

- EXCUSE ME.

I SHOULDN'T STAY AWAY
FROM MY GUESTS TOO LONG.

- MOTHER,

WHY DO YOU
HAVE TO ACT THIS WAY?

- OH, FORGIVE ME.

I DON'T BELIEVE
IT IS MY BEHAVIOR

THAT IS QUESTIONABLE HERE.

WHAT ABOUT THOSE
WEDDING INVITATIONS?

- I DON'T KNOW YET,

AND YOU PROMISED
NOT TO MENTION IT.

- WELL, BUT WE HAVE TO KNOW.

- MOTHER,

THIS IS A VERY
DIFFICULT TIME FOR ME,

AND I WISH YOU'D HELP ME OUT

BY GOING ALONG WITH THE BIDDLES'
WAY OF DOING THINGS.

AFTER ALL,
THIS IS THEIR HOUSE.

- ANGIER,
ARE YOU SNAPPING AT ME?

WHY, THAT'S NOT LIKE YOU.

OH, NEVER MIND.
WE'LL HELP EACH OTHER.

I PROMISE I WILL DO
EVERYTHING I CAN

TO KEEP
THE ATMOSPHERE PEACEFUL.

- THANK YOU, MOTHER.

- AND WHEN WE ARE OUT
OF ALL THIS MADNESS

AND YOU'RE ON YOUR WAY
TO THE OZARKS...

- MOTHER, I WARNED YOU
NOT TO TALK ABOUT THAT.

- OH, YES.
SO YOU DID.

TELL ME, IS THERE
ANYTHING I CAN TALK ABOUT?

- IS THERE NO ONE
TO ANSWER THE DOOR?

WHERE ARE THE SERVANTS?

- OH, THEY'RE OUT THERE,

FIGHTING FOR THEIR LIVES.

- YOUNG MAN,

TELL MR. BIDDLE
I'M WAITING IN THE PARLOR.

I HAVE NO INTENTION
OF GOING OUT INTO THAT MOB.

- YES, MA'AM.

- DO YOU KNOW
WHO THAT YOUNG MAN IS?

THAT IS ANGIER DUKE.

THERE ARE THOSE WHO WOULD
CONSIDER THE HEIR

TO A MULTI-MILLION-DOLLAR
FORTUNE

IMPROPER CHOICE
FOR ERRAND BOY.

- AND THERE ARE THOSE

SUFFICIENTLY
ACCUSTOMED TO WEALTH

THAT THE ONLY THING TO BE
CONSIDERED IN SUCH A CHOICE

IS HOW WELL
WILL THE YOUNG MAN

PERFORM THE ERRAND.

- GOOD AFTERNOON,
MRS. DREXEL.

- BUT I WILL HAVE A CLOSER LOOK
WHEN HE COMES BACK.

HE MUST BE QUITE SOMETHING

IF CORDY CAN SPEND A MONTH
IN NEW YORK

AND STILL WANT TO MARRY HIM.

- WELL, IF YOU LADIES WILL MAKE
YOURSELVES COMFORTABLE,

I'LL FETCH
SOME NICE REFRESHMENTS.

- THERE ARE THOSE
WHO CONSIDER NEW YORK

THE ONLY TRUE CITY
IN THE COUNTRY.

- AND THERE ARE THOSE
WHO WEAR BIBS WHEN THEY EAT,

BUT GENERALLY SPEAKING,

THEY ARE NOT
PERSONS OF INFLUENCE.

- INDEED.

- INDEED.

- CHAMPAGNE PUNCH

AND SOME
DARLING LITTLE SANDWICHES.

- * THERE ARE THOSE
WHOSE SOCIAL STANDING *

* IS CONSTANTLY DEMANDING

* EVERY SINGLE THING WE DO

* THE PUBLIC KNOWS

* THEN THERE IS
A LOWER STRATA *

* WHERE PROPRIETY
DOESN'T MATTER *

* I SUPPOSE

* THERE ARE THOSE

* THERE ARE THOSE

- * THERE ARE THOSE
TO WHOM POSITION *

* IS A NATURAL BORN
CONDITION *

* TO BE WORN WITH EASE

* LIKE COMFORTABLE
OLD CLOTHES *

* THOUGH THE NOUVEAU RICHE
DENY IT *

* ALL THEIR MONEY
CANNOT BUY IT *

* CLASS WILL OUT

* GOODNESS KNOWS

* BUT THERE ARE THOSE

- WATERCRESS ON TOAST,
MA'AM.

- * THERE ARE THOSE WHO GRACE
THE PAGES OF THE BLUE BOOK *

- NEVER HEARD OF IT.

IS IT A NEW BOOK?

- SIMPLY ANYONE WHO IS ANYONE
IS LISTED.

- OH, YOU MEAN THE NEW YORK
TELEPHONE DIRECTORY.

- HARDLY.

- THERE ARE THOSE WHOSE NAMES

PREDATE THE CONSTITUTION.

- YES, AND SOME OF THEM

OPPOSE THE REVOLUTION.

- CONSERVATIVE.

- REACTIONARY.

- * PHILADELPHIA
IS THE CRADLE OF LIBERTY *

- * SLUMBERING LIKE
AN AGING PAGE OF HISTORY *

- CHOP LIVER.

- * THERE ARE THOSE
WHO FLAUNT PROSPERITY *

- * THERE ARE THOSE
WHO FLAUNT AUSTERITY *

* POSING COZY ON
THEIR ROSY STATUS QUOS *

I MEAN RAISIN TART.

- * THERE ARE THOSE
QUITE INFLUENTIAL *

- * THERE ARE THOSE
INCONSEQUENTIAL *

- * THERE ARE THOSE

- * THERE ARE THOSE

- * THERE ARE THOSE

- * THERE ARE THOSE

- * THERE ARE THOSE

both:
I SUPPOSE.

both:
THERE ARE THOSE.

- WELL, MRS. DUKE,

I SEE YOU'VE MET AUNT MARY.

GOOD AFTERNOON, AUNT MARY.

- OH, MARY, I WAS
LOOKING FOR YOU IN THE GARDEN.

- NOT IN THAT MOB.

- HELLO, AUNT MARY.

- CORDY.

- AUNT MARY, THIS IS ANGIE.

- THEY'VE MET.

MRS. DREXEL,

I WOULD LIKE TO ASK YOU
A QUESTION OR TWO

ABOUT HOW WEDDINGS
ARE MANAGED

BY PROPER PHILADELPHIANS.

- MOTHER, YOU PROMISED.

- WHAT ABOUT THE WAY WEDDINGS
ARE MANAGED

BY PHILADELPHIANS?

- NO.
NO, THANK YOU, JOHN.

IS SOMETHING WRONG, MRS. DUKE?

- SOMETHING IS DECIDEDLY WRONG.

- I'LL HAVE A SANDWICH.

LET'S ALL HAVE A SANDWICH.

- REALLY LOOK DELICIOUS.

WON'T YOU HAVE ONE, MOTHER?

- I'VE ALREADY HAD ONE.

- WHAT ABOUT THE WEDDING,
BLAST IT?

- I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW,
MR. BIDDLE,

WHY THE DUKES HAVE NOT
RECEIVED INVITATIONS.

AS I UNDERSTAND IT,

THE DREXELS AND THE BIDDLES

ARE COMING BY THE THOUSANDS.

IT IS CUSTOMARY
IN MOST SOCIETIES

TO INVITE THE FAMILY
OF THE GROOM AS WELL.

- BUT THERE WAS A SEPARATE BOX
OF DUKE INVITATIONS.

- YES.
YES, I REMEMBER THAT.

- WELL, COULD SOMETHING HAVE
GONE WRONG AT THE POST OFFICE?

- WELL, JOHN AND I
TOOK THEM IN OURSELVES.

JOHN?

- SIR.

- SEE IF YOU
CAN FIND OUT ANYTHING.

- YES, SIR.

- I'M SURE THERE'S SOME
SIMPLE EXPLANATION.

- WE'LL CERTAINLY
TAKE CARE OF IT, MRS. DUKE.

THESE LITTLE THINGS HAPPEN.

HOW WOULD YOU FEEL

IF THE DREXELS
HAD NOT BEEN INVITED?

- THEY'D COME ANYHOW.

THEY'RE RELATIVES.

- MAY SURPRISE YOU TO KNOW

THAT THE LAWS OF KINSHIP

OPERATE IN NEW YORK

AND IN NORTH CAROLINA.

- ONLY ONE THING SURPRISES ME,
MRS. DUKE.

- NOW WAIT A MINUTE.
I DON'T SEE ANY REASON--

- STOP IT.

ALL OF YOU.

DUKE PRIDE, DREXEL PRIDE,

BIDDLE PRIDE.

PHILADELPHIA VERSUS NEW YORK.

I'M SICK TO DEATH OF IT.

ANGIE AND I
HAVE BEEN SHOVED ASIDE

WHILE EVERYONE
IS BUSY TURNING OUR WEDDING

INTO THE BIGGEST PRODUCTION

AND THE BIGGEST FIGHT
IN HISTORY.

IT ISN'T FAIR.

AND I'M NOT GONNA
LET IT GO ON THIS WAY

IF--IF ANGIE AND I
HAVE TO ELOPE.

AND MAKE US ALL
LOOK LIKE FOOLS?

- AT THIS MOMENT, MRS. DUKE,

I DON'T CARE
WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE.

- CORDY.

- ANGIER, YOU HAD BETTER SPEAK
TO YOUR BRIDE.

THIS WEDDING IS GOING
TO TAKE PLACE ON SCHEDULE,

AND IT IS GOING
TO BE DONE RIGHT.

ONCE YOU'RE SAFE
IN OUR RAILROAD CAR

AND ON YOUR WAY TO ARKANSAS,

YOU CAN INDULGE YOUR WHIM.

UNTIL THEN...

- ARKANSAS.

WHAT ABOUT ARKANSAS?

- CORDY, I'M SORRY.

- WELL,
WHAT ARE YOU SORRY ABOUT?

I HAVE ARRANGED
FOR OUR PRIVATE RAILROAD CAR

TO TAKE YOU AND ANGIER
TO HOT SPRINGS.

THEN BACK TO NEW YORK
IN TWO WEEKS

FOR THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS
MEETING.

- ANGIE.

HOW COULD YOU?

- WELL, WHAT, PLEASE TELL ME,
IS WRONG WITH HOT SPRINGS?

- I'M SURE NOTHING
IS WRONG WITH IT, MRS. DUKE,

BUT I AM NOT GOING TO SPEND
MY HONEYMOON THERE.

- CORDY, IF WE COULD JUST
TALK THINGS OVER.

- JUST LIKE I'M NOT
GOING TO LIVE IN NEW YORK.

- OH, OF COURSE YOU'RE GOING
TO LIVE IN NEW YORK.

- BECAUSE I'M NOT
GOING TO MARRY YOU.

- CORDY.

- YOU MOST CERTAINLY
ARE GOING TO MARRY HIM.

- SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO

IF SHE DOESN'T WANT TO.

- ANTHONY.

- WHAT HAPPENED TO THE PERSON
I FELL IN LOVE WITH?

A PERSON
WITH DREAMS AND SPIRIT?

SOMEONE I COULD BELIEVE IN
AND ROOT FOR.

SOMEONE WHO CAN MAKE A CAR
ANY COLOR YOU WANT.

OH, NO.

I'M NOT GETTING MARRIED.

- THEN I'M NOT EITHER!

- SIR, I--I FOUND THEM, SIR.

200 INVITATIONS.

THEY--THEY WERE LOST UNDER
THE CLOTHES WE COLLECTED

FOR THE CHINESE MISSIONS.

- THAT'S VERY FUNNY.

IT REALLY IS.

YOU'LL PARDON ME
FOR NOT LAUGHING.

- ANGIER.

ANGIER!

ANGIER.

- JOHN, UH, MAYBE
YOU'D BETTER FOLLOW HIM.

- YES, SIR.

- MR. BIDDLE,

WHAT DO YOU
INTEND TO DO ABOUT THIS?

- YES. YOU DO INTEND
TO DO SOMETHING, DON'T YOU?

- YES, ANTHONY.
WHAT NOW?

- WELL, I DON'T KNOW.
WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST?

- I SUGGEST YOU TALK
SOME SENSE INTO YOUR DAUGHTER.

- FOR ONCE, I AGREE
WITH MRS. DUKE COMPLETELY.

- NOW WAIT A MINUTE.

WHAT ABOUT
TRYING TO TALK SOME SENSE

INTO YOUR SON, MRS. DUKE?

- OH,
I'LL TAKE CARE OF ANGIER.

- UH, MRS. DUKE,

MAY I OFFER YOU
A LIFT TO YOUR HOTEL?

MY ELECTRIC
IS WAITING OUTSIDE.

- OH, HOW VERY KIND OF YOU.

IT'S COMFORTING TO KNOW

THAT THERE ARE THOSE

WHO CAN BE RELIED UPON
FOR SUPPORT

IN TIMES OF STRESS.

- THEY'RE TRYING TO LAY
THIS WHOLE MESS IN MY LAP.

- WE'D BETTER GET BACK
TO OUR GUESTS.

- THEY'RE TRYING TO BLAME ME.

ANYONE CAN MISPLACE A BOX
OF INVITATIONS, CAN'T THEY?

- YOU KNOW VERY WELL, ANTHONY,

THE INVITATIONS
HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.

THAT WAS JUST FATE
LENDING YOU A HELPING HAND.

- BLAST.

I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG.

DID I, GEORGE?

- HEY, HERE HE IS!

- COME ON, MR. BIDDLE,
COME ON.

- WE WANT TO DRINK A TOAST.

- TO THE FATHER OF THE BRIDE!

- NOW, NOW, JUST A SECOND.

- OUTSIDE!
- A TOAST!

- THREE CHEERS!

- * FOR HE'S
A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW *

* FOR HE'S
A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW *

- EXCUSE ME, GENTLEMEN.

STOUT!

DID YOU EVER TRY
A GOOD IRISH STOUT?

- LOOK,
YOU STAY AWAY FROM ME.

- JUST A FRIENDLY SUGGESTION,
SIR.

- YOU FOLLOWED ME HERE,
DIDN'T YOU?

- THE DEVIL I DID.

DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE THE ONLY PERSON

THAT COMES INTO CLANCY'S BAR

FOR A LITTLE REST
AND LITTLE RELAXATION?

- ALL RIGHT.

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE,

AND KEEP YOUR SUGGESTIONS
TO YOURSELF.

STOUT.

I'M TIRED OF PEOPLE
RUNNING MY LIFE FOR ME.

- AS WELL YOU SHOULD BE, SIR.

- LEADING ME BY THE HAND.

TELLING ME WHAT TO DO.

- IT'S A CRIME.

- A MAN
HAS TO FINALLY BE A MAN.

- RIGHT.
- RIGHT.

- * WELL, WELL, WELL

* LET'S HAVE A DRINK ON IT

* AS ME FATHER USED TO SAY

* WHEN THE TRUTH
IS NOBLY SPOKEN *

* IT'S RESPECT
YOU'VE GOT TO PAY *

* SO FILL YOUR CUP
AND LIFT IT UP *

* AND CLINK HERE'S HOW

* NO SHILLY SHALLYING

* NO DILLY DALLYING

* LET'S HAVE A DRINK
OF IT NOW *

* NO SHILLY SHALLYING

* NO DILLY DALLYING

* LET'S HAVE
A DRINK OF IT NOW *

- I DON'T MIND TELLING YOU,
JOHN,

THESE LAST COUPLE OF WEEKS
HAVE REALLY BEEN ROUGH.

- AH, IT'S A FACT.

- YOU TRY TO PLEASE EVERYBODY,

AND YOU END UP
PLEASING NO ONE AT ALL.

- 'TIS THE SAD,
SAD TRUTH, SIR.

- I'LL GET AWAY FROM IT ALL.
- GOOD IDEA.

- I'LL LEAVE PHILADELPHIA
AND NEVER COME BACK.

- NEVER.

WHY SHOULDN'T I?

THERE'S NOTHING
BUT TROUBLE FOR ME HERE.

THERE'S NOTHING BUT TROUBLE
FOR ME ANYWHERE.

IF I WERE TO GO TO
THE ENDS OF THE EARTH--

THAT'S IT.

I COULD JOIN
THE FOREIGN LEGION.

- THE FOREIGN LEGION, SIR,
A FINE GROUP OF MEN, SIR.

- I'D BE ON MY OWN THEN,
RIGHT?

- RIGHT!

* WELL, WELL, WELL

* LET'S HAVE A DRINK ON IT

* TO THEM
FIGHTING LEGIONNAIRES *

* TO THEIR OUTPOST
IN THE DESERT *

* AND THEIR GORGEOUS
CROIX DE GUERRES *

- * TO SAILING FOR BENGHAZI
ON A RUSTY SCOW *

- * NO SHILLY SHALLYING

* NO DILLY DALLYING

* LET'S HAVE
A DRINK ON IT NOW *

* NO SHILLY SHALLYING

* NO DILLY DALLYING

* LET'S HAVE A DRINK
ON IT NOW *

- THANK YOU, JOHN.

I'LL ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL
FOR YOUR HELP.

- TO BENGHAZI LIKE WE SAID.

- I CAN'T LET HIM GET AWAY,

OR WE'LL NEVER
GET THINGS PATCHED UP.

SIR!

A MOMENT OF YOUR TIME, SIR.

JUST A MOMENT.

* WHAT DO YOU DO
WHEN THE WATER'S GONE *

* AND THERE'S
NO TURNING BACK? *

* YOU'RE FOUR DAYS
FROM THE FORT *

* THE ARAB RENEGADES ATTACK?

* AND THE BLISTERING SUN
KEEPS BURNING *

* REINFORCEMENTS
CAN'T GET THROUGH *

* WHAT DO YOU DO
ABOUT IT? *

* WHAT DO YOU DO ABOUT IT?

DO YOU BLISTER EASILY?

- YES, AS A MATTER OF FACT.

- AH, THE FOREIGN LEGION
IS NOT FOR YOU.

DRINK UP.

- YOU'RE RIGHT, JOHN.

RUNNING AWAY ISN'T THE ANSWER.

- OH, YOU'RE RIGHT
I'M RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

- I'VE GOT TO FACE
MY PROBLEM HEAD ON.

NOW, WHAT'S MY PROBLEM?

MY PROBLEM IS MY FAMILY.

IT ALWAYS HAS BEEN.

I'LL CHANGE MY NAME.

RENOUNCE MY FORTUNE.

- THAT'S GOOD THINKING.

- I'LL TAKE AN HONEST JOB.

IN A FACTORY.

OR ON A FARM.

MAYBE SOMEDAY
I'LL HAVE MY OWN PLACE.

- BEAUTIFUL!

- I'LL BE LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE,

POOR, RIGHT?

- RIGHT.

- * WELL, WELL, WELL

* LET'S HAVE A DRINK ON IT

* TO THE SIMPLE AVERAGE LIFE

* TO THE WAGES EVERY FRIDAY

* THAT YOU BRING HOME
TO THE WIFE *

* TO THE SWEAT
OF HONEST LABOR *

* ON YOUR AVERAGE BROW

* NO SHILLY SHALLYING

* NO DILLY DALLYING

* LET'S HAVE A DRINK ON IT NOW

- * NO SHILLY SHALLYING

* NO DILLY DALLYING

* LET'S HAVE A DRINK ON IT NOW

- HEY, SET 'EM UP, CLANCY!

WHOO!

HEY!

- THE DRINKS ARE ON THE DUKE!

- * NO SHILLY SHALLYING

* NO DILLY DALLYING

* LET'S HAVE A DRINK ON IT NOW

- THANK YOU ALL.

THANK YOU.

JOHN, I CAN'T TELL YOU

HOW MUCH THIS TALK
HAS MEANT TO ME.

- NOT AT ALL, AT ALL.

- I'LL WRITE YOU
WHEN I GET SETTLED.

- YOU'LL WRITE--
FROM WHERE ARE YOU GONNA WRITE?

- WHEN A MAN HAS REACHED
A TURNING POINT IN HIS LIFE,

WHY WASTE TIME?

- * WHAT DO YOU DO

* WHEN YOU LOSE YOUR JOB

* THE RENT IS OVERDUE

* THE LANDLORD THROWS YOU
IN THE STREET *

* THE WIFE THE KIDDIES TOO

* AND THE SLEET AND SNOW
ARE FALLING *

* AND YOU'VE GOT
NO PLACE TO GO *

WILL YOU SHUT YOUR FACE?

CAN'T YOU SEE
I'M TALKING TO THE GENTLEMAN?

* WHAT DO YOU DO ABOUT IT?

* WHAT DO YOU DO
ABOUT IT? *

THE SIMPLE, AVERAGE LIFE,
SIR...NO.

HAVE A DRINK.

- WELL,
I'M USED TO HAVING MONEY.

I MIGHT AS WELL ADMIT IT.

I KNOW.

I COULD MAKE MY OWN FORTUNE.

I COULD DRILL FOR OIL IN TEXAS.

- THINK IT OVER CAREFULLY,
SIR.

- COULD PAN FOR GOLD IN ALASKA.

- DON'T BE TOO HASTY.

- WAIT.

THE PEARL TRADE IN CHINA.

- THE MYSTERIOUS EAST.

WHO KNOWS WHAT ADVENTURES
I MIGHT LIVE THERE.

- RIGHT.

- RIGHT.
- WRONG.

- * WELL, WELL, WELL

* LET'S HAVE A DRINK ON IT

* HERE'S TO CHINA
'CROSS THE BAY *

* TO THEM
DARLING LITTLE OYSTERS *

* AND THE PEARLS
THEY GIVE AWAY *

* A MAN COULD MAKE
HIS FORTUNE THERE *

* I WILL SOMEHOW

* NO SHILLY SHALLYING

* NO DILLY DALLYING

* I'M OFF TO CHINA NOW

- * NO SHILLY SHALLYING

* NO DILLY DALLYING

* OFF TO CHINA NOW

- * NO SHILLY SHALLYING

* NO DILLY DALLYING

LET'S HAVE ANOTHER ONE, SIR!

- * NO SHILLY SHALLYING

* NO DILLY DALLYING

- HA!

- OOH! OOH!

- * NO SHILLY SHALLYING

* NO DILLY DALLYING

* I'M OFF TO CHINA NOW

- * WELL, WELL, WELL

* ONE LAST DRINK ON IT

* THEN YOU'RE ON
YOUR MERRY WAY *

- WHAT'LL YOU DO
WHEN YOUR SAMPAN

SPRINGS A LEAK IN CHINA BAY?

- * WHEN THE TRUTH
IS NOBLY SPOKEN *

* IT'S RESPECT YOU GOT TO PAY

- THEN ORIENTAL PIRATES
COME AND TAKE YOUR PEARLS AWAY?

- * SO FILL YOUR CUP
AND LIFT IT UP *

* AND DRINK HERE'S HOW
- IT DEPENDS.

- * NO SHILLY SHALLYING,
NO DILLY DALLYING *

* LET'S HAVE A DRINK ON IT NOW

- ARE YOU IMMUNE
TO YELLOW FEVER?

BUBONIC PLAGUE?

MONSOONS?

LOCUSTS?

THE SCREAMING ABDABS!

OH, THE SHAME OF IT ALL!

- DO THAT AGAIN, ME BUCKO,

AND YOU WON'T
BE GOING ANYWHERE.

- CLANCY. TWO MORE.

HAVE A DRINK, SIR.

ALL THE VERY BEST.

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, LAD?

THERE'S NOTHING BROKEN,
I HOPE.

I THINK WE BEST
BE GOING TO THE HOTEL

TO HAVE THE HOUSE DOCTOR
TAKE A LOOK AT YOU.

- EXCUSE ME, JOHN.

- HOLD IT, I SAY.

QUIET!

- QUIET!

ALL RIGHT, NOW.

WHO STARTED ALL THIS?

COME ON, COME ON.

SOMEBODY SPEAK UP,

OR I'LL JAIL IT OUT OF YOUSE,

JUST AS SURE
AS MY NAME'S FLANNIGAN.

- SEEMS A SHAME TO PUNISH MEN

FOR DEFENDING THEIR
MOTHER COUNTRY, SERGEANT.

- WELL, I WASN'T
A PART OF IT MESELF,

YOU UNDERSTAND, BUT I DID
SEE IT ALL FROM FIRST TO LAST.

- WELL, IT ALL STARTED
WHEN THE YOUNG GENTLEMAN THERE

EXPRESSED THE OPINION

THAT ALL IRISHMEN WERE PIGS.

AND THE EMERALD ISLE
A PROPER STY FOR THEM.

- INDEED.

- I SEE.

ALL RIGHT, YOU TWO.

BRING YOUNG MR. FANCY DAN ALONG.

I'D THANK YOU
TO COME ALONG TOO, SIR.

THE CAPTAIN WOULD BE DELIGHTED

TO HEAR WHAT YOU JUST TOLD ME.

- I CONSIDER IT ME DUTY,
SERGEANT.

- ALL RIGHT.
BRING HIM ALONG.

- NO FEAR, LAD.
I'M LOOKING OUT FOR YOU.

- GOOD MORNING, CORDELIA.

UH, HOW'S CORDY THIS MORNING?

HAVE YOU SEEN HER?

WELL, I HAD A COLD SHOWER

AND A GOOD, BRISK WALK,

AND NOW I'M HUNGRY.

THANK YOU, MY DEAR.

YES, SIR?

- I THINK I'LL START
WITH SOME ORANGE JUICE, AND...

WHO ARE YOU?

- UH, I'M DEBRA, SIR.

- WELL, GOOD MORNING, DEBRA.

- GOOD MORNING, SIR.

- I THINK
AFTER THE ORANGE JUICE

I'D LIKE SOME CEREAL,
PLEASE.

- YES, SIR.

PLEASANT ENOUGH LOOKING GIRL,
ISN'T SHE?

CONFOUND IT, CORDELIA.

YOU CAN'T GO ON IGNORING ME
LIKE THIS FOREVER.

AND THAT'S HOW LONG
IT WILL BE

BEFORE I RESPOND
TO SUCH CHILDISH BEHAVIOR.

WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?

LET'S HEAR IT.

SOME KIND OF CONFESSION.

THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT,
ISN'T IT?

WELL, YOU'RE NOT
GOING TO GET IT,

BECAUSE I HAVE
NOTHING TO CONFESS.

- WILL THAT BE
HOT OR COLD CEREAL, SIR?

- NEITHER ONE, BLAST IT.

I'M NOT HUNGRY.

I WILL ADMIT I HAVE WONDERED

IF ANGIE WAS
THE RIGHT MAN FOR CORDY,

BUT SHE MADE HER CHOICE,
AND I ACCEPTED IT.

I THINK GRACEFULLY.

I'VE JUST BEEN MYSELF,
THAT'S ALL.

- YOU'VE BEEN YOURSELF
IN SPADES.

- CORDELIA.

WHERE DID YOU LEARN
THAT BACKROOM EXPRESSION?

- YOU PLAYED INTO EVERY
POSSIBLE SOURCE OF TROUBLE

FROM THE FIRST.

OH, THERE WAS TROUBLE
TO PLAY INTO, I'LL GRANT.

YOU DIDN'T CREATE IT,
BUT HOW YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE.

- I DENY THAT.

- THEN LET ME
PUT IT THIS WAY--

HAVE YOU DONE ONE THING
TO HELP THIS MARRIAGE?

- I DON'T BELIEVE
THAT'S MY RESPONSIBILITY.

- I KNOW OF NOTHING
I HAVE DONE WRONG.

NOTHING.

- YOU KNOW IT IN YOUR HEART.

OR YOUR WOULDN'T BE SO ANGRY.

- GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING, MOTHER.

GOOD MORNING, PAPA.

HOW ABOUT
A JOG AROUND THE SQUARE?

- WHY, CORDY...

- OR MAYBE A FEW ROUNDS
IN THE GYM, HUH?

- CONFOUND IT, CORDY.

YOU CAN'T
COME POPPING IN HERE

GAY AS A CRICKET.

HOW SHOULD I BE?

- CORDY,
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?

- ABOUT YOUR MARRIAGE.

- IT'S BEEN CALLED OFF.
DON'T YOU REMEMBER?

I'LL BE IN THE STABLE.

- CORDY.

CORDY, WAIT.

CORDY...

- I DON'T WANT
TO TALK ABOUT IT, PAPA.

- I DON'T WANT TO TALK EITHER,

BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN
I'M NOT GOING TO.

- THERE'S NOTHING
TO TALK ABOUT.

YOU NEVER REALLY
APPROVED OF ANGIE,

AND YOU WERE RIGHT.

HE'S A BABY.

A MAMA'S BOY.

HE DOESN'T KNOW
WHAT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT.

- HE'LL LEARN.

MAYBE YOU'LL LEARN TOGETHER.

- BUT YOU CAN'T
TAKE HIS PART NOW.

- I'M NOT TAKING HIS PART,

BUT I'VE GOT NOTHING
AGAINST THAT BOY, CORDY.

I NEVER DID.

EXCEPT THAT I, UH...

I WANTED YOU TO STAY HERE.

THAT'S THE TRUTH.

YOU, UH, TRY TO MAKE
A GOOD LIFE FOR YOURSELF

AND YOUR FAMILY.

TURNS OUT TO BE TOO GOOD.

SO YOU CAN'T RESIST
TRYING TO HOLD ON.

WHATEVER YOU DECIDE
TO DO, CORDY,

I'LL BACK YOU UP 100%.

BUT YOU DECIDE.

ON YOUR OWN.

IT'S YOUR LIFE.

I'M...I'M FINALLY
GIVING IT OVER TO YOU.

- GOOD MORNING, MRS. DUKE.

- IF YOU KNOW WHERE HE IS,
PLEASE TELL ME.

I'LL FIND OUT
IN GOOD TIME ANYWAY.

- OF COURSE I MEAN ANGIER.

- HE'S DISAPPEARED.

- HE WASN'T IN
HIS HOTEL ROOM ALL NIGHT.

HIS BED
HAS NOT BEEN SLEPT IN.

WHO KNOWS WHAT
HAS HAPPENED TO HIM.

- NOW, DON'T WORRY, MRS. DUKE.
WE'LL FIND HIM.

- JOHN!

- I YELLED.

JOHN, I THOUGHT I ASKED YOU
TO WATCH OUT FOR MR. DUKE.

- I DID.

- HE HIT ME, SIR.

- LAST NIGHT
AT THE JAILHOUSE.

- THEY'LL RELEASE HIM AS SOON

AS I WITHDRAW
THE CHARGES, MA'AM.

- WELL, WE'D BETTER
GET DOWN THERE RIGHT AWAY.

- I'LL HURRY AND GET DRESSED.

- YES, CORDELIA.

MRS. DUKE, WHY DON'T YOU
WAIT OUT HERE ON THE TERRACE?

JOHN, BRING THE CAR
AROUND FRONT, WILL YOU?

- I WILL, SIR.

- MRS. DUKE, WE'LL HAVE
THIS UNFORTUNATE SITUATION

CLEARED UP IN NO TIME.

- I MAY FAINT.

DON'T EVEN THINK OF IT.

- UH, MRS. DUKE,

PERHAPS IT'D BE BETTER
IF YOU LADIES WAITED HERE.

- ALL RIGHT, MR. DUKE.

YOU CAN COME OUT NOW.

- I'D JUST AS SOON
STAY RIGHT HERE.

- WELL, THAT'S
A PRETTY SILLY ATTITUDE.

- IT ISN'T SILLY AT ALL.

I'M AFRAID IF I STAND UP

MY HEAD'LL FALL OFF.

DID YOU EVER
TRY A GOOD IRISH STOUT?

- COME ALONG.
COME ALONG, MR. DUKE.

IT'S TIME TO GO NOW.

- WHY COULDN'T YOU
LET ME OUT LAST NIGHT

WHEN I WANTED OUT?

- WHERE WAS IT
YOU WANTED TO GO LAST NIGHT?

- I HAD DECIDED ON CHINA.

- HOW DO YOU FEEL
ABOUT CHINA THIS MORNING?

- TERRIBLE.

- SERGEANT,
WOULD YOU GIVE US A MINUTE?

- OH, CERTAINLY, CERTAINLY.

- YOUNG MAN...

IT'S TIME YOU WOKE UP
TO YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES.

NOW, I WANT YOU
TO GET THIS MARRIAGE OVER WITH

AND THAT HONEYMOON
IN THE OZARKS.

THEN REPORT BACK
TO YOUR DESK IN NEW YORK.

- YOU MAY THINK YOU WANT
OTHER THINGS FOR YOURSELF.

YOU MAY HAVE SOME DREAMS
OF YOUR OWN.

BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO GET OVER
ALL THAT...

THE WAY OTHER PEOPLE DO.

- YOU DIDN'T GET OVER IT!

- WELL, THERE ARE
DARN FEW LIKE ME.

- NOW, YOU LISTEN HERE,
MR. KNOW-IT-ALL BIDDLE,

NO ONE IS GONNA
RUN MY LIFE FOR ME!

I'VE DECIDED THAT MUCH!

HANGOVER OR NO HANGOVER.

- YES! THAT IS SO.

- ALL RIGHT, MR. DUKE,
THE DOOR'S OPEN.

LET'S SEE YOU HAVE A TRY
AT RUNNING YOUR OWN LIFE.

LET'S SEE HOW FAR YOU CAN GO,

HANGOVER OR NO HANGOVER.

- MR. BIDDLE...

I AM GOING TO ASK CORDY
TO ELOPE WITH ME TODAY.

- NOW, WAIT A MINUTE!
- AND DON'T YOU TRY TO STOP ME!

- LET ME TELL YOU ONE THING.

IF YOU ASK CORDY TO ELOPE,
SHE WON'T.

- THEN I'LL TELL HER!

- ANGIE!
- MORNING, MOTHER.

CODY, YOU AND I
ARE GOING TO ELOPE.

- OVER MY DEAD BODY!

- ONLY IF ABSOLUTELY
NECESSARY, MOTHER.

CODY, WE'LL STOP BY YOUR HOUSE
AND PICK UP YOUR THINGS.

- NO.

- BECAUSE I THINK
HE TALKED YOU INTO IT.

- CODY, I LOVE YOU
AND I WANT TO MARRY YOU,

AND HE'S GOT
NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT.

- I'M NOT SO SURE
ABOUT THAT.

OH!

- SO LONG, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL WRITE YA!

- ANGIE,
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

- * YOU CAN HEAR IT HUMMING,
SEE IT COMING *

* FEEL IT EVERYWHERE YOU GO

- * IT'S TOMORROW MORNING,
THE FUTURE DAWNING *

* WITH A BRIGHT
AND SHINING GLOW *

- * IT'S A LAND
WHERE GOLDEN CHARIOTS *

* ARE MOLDED OUT OF DREAMS

* IT'S DETROIT!

* DETROIT

* IT'S DETROIT

- YOU KNOW,
THERE FOR A MINUTE,

HE REMINDED ME
OF HIS GRANDFATHER.

STARTED THE WHOLE DUKE THING.

- WELL, IF HE'S HALF
THE MAN I THINK HE IS,

THIS WON'T BE THE END
OF THE WHOLE DUKE THING EITHER.

*

DID YOU HEAR THAT?

- IT'S THE FLOOR, DEAR.

- I NEVER NOTICED IT BEFORE.

- THIS ISN'T A NEW HOUSE.

- NO.

NO, IT ISN'T.

- I'M HUNGRY.
- OH.

POOR DEAR.

YOU DIDN'T HAVE
ANY BREAKFAST, DID YOU?

I'LL RING FOR JOHN.
- I DON'T NEED MUCH.

WHAT'S THAT?

THE CLOCK, DEAR.

- OH.

A NEW ONE?

- WE'VE HAD IT 20 YEARS.

- OH.

- COULD WE HAVE SOME TEA,
PLEASE?

AND THERE MUST BE SOME
SANDWICHES LEFT FROM THE PARTY.

- OH, YES, MA'AM.

UM...DID EVERYTHING
TURN OUT ALL RIGHT

DOWN AT THE JAILHOUSE?

- AH. ANGIE AND CORDY
ARE ON THEIR WAY TO DETROIT.

- WELL!

THAT'S GRAND NEWS.

- THAT'S RIGHT.

THAT'S RIGHT.
WE'RE VERY HAPPY ABOUT IT.

- I'LL TAKE THAT, MA'AM.

- THANK YOU, JOHN.

- WELL, SHOULD WE TELEPHONE
THE BOYS ABOUT THE WEDDING?

- OH, THEY'LL BE IN CLASS.

- THAT'S RIGHT.

BETTER WAIT
UNTIL THIS EVENING.

- AH.

- I GUESS WE SHOULD LET
AUNT MARY KNOW--

- IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME
SINCE WE--

AH...

- I WAS THINKING.

MAYBE WE COULD DO
SOME TRAVELING NOW...

THAT THE CHILDREN ARE ALL--

- THAT'S A GOOD IDEA!

- I'VE ALWAYS WANTED
TO TRAVEL.

- WE CAN GO TO DETROIT
AND SEE CORDY AND ANGIE.

- OH, ANTHONY.

- YEAH.

- * LET THEM GO, LET THEM GO

* LET THEM TRY THEIR WINGS

* LITTLE BIRDS WERE BORN

* TO FLY

* NOT UNTIL THEY ROAM

* CAN THEY MISS THEIR HOME

* AND IT WON'T BE LONG

* TILL CHRISTMAS

* WHEN THE BRANCHES ARE BARE

* THE DECEMBER AIR

* COMES ALIVE
WITH FROST AND PINE *

* AND THEY YEARN TO BE

* BY THE FAMILY TREE

* OH, IT WON'T BE LONG

* TILL CHRISTMAS

- * THE YEARS GO BY

* AND EVERY NIGHT

* YOU SAY SWEET DREAMS,
SLEEP TIGHT *

* THEN COMES THE DAY

* YOU'RE FORCED TO SAY

* DON'T FORGET TO WRITE

* THERE'LL BE HOLLY
AND POPCORN *

* AND MISTLETOE

* THERE'LL BE SONGS
BY A FIRE AGLOW *

* OH, IT WON'T BE LONG

* TILL CHRISTMAS

* LET THEM GO

* LET THEM GO

*

- * IT WON'T BE LONG

* TILL CHRISTMAS

- * LET THEM GO

*

- * LET THEM GO

*

- WHO WOULD BE DROPPING BY
THIS AFTERNOON?

- I CAN'T IMAGINE.

HARDLY ANYBODY
LIVES HERE ANYMORE.

- THE TEA WILL BE A MOMENT.

MRS. WORTH'S ICING UP
A GORGEOUS CHOCOLATE CAKE.

COME IN, GENTLEMEN.

- YES, SIR.
WILL YOU COME THIS WAY, PLEASE?

THERE'S SOME GENTLEMEN
TO SEE YOU, SIR.

- WELL, LOOK WHO'S HERE.
- MR. BIDDLE.

- LIEUTENANT.
- MRS. BIDDLE.

- NICE TO SEE YOU.

- SIR,

A SET OF ORDERS HAVE BEEN
RECEIVED AT OUR HEADQUARTERS

CONCERNING YOUR FUTURE RELATIONS
WITH THE CORPS,

AND WE FELT THAT THESE ORDERS
WARRANTED PERSONAL DELIVERY.

- I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

- WHEN I TRIED TO ENLIST,
THEY TURNED ME DOWN,

SAID I WAS TOO OLD
FOR ACTIVE SERVICE.

- ANTHONY,
FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!

- CORDELIA,
I'VE BEEN AWARDED

A PROVISIONAL CAPTAINCY
IN THE MARINE CORPS.

I'M ORDERED TO REPORT
TO PARRIS ISLAND!

- CONGRATULATIONS, SIR!
- THANK YOU.

- CONGRATULATIONS, MR. BIDDLE.
WE'RE HAPPY TO HAVE YOU.

- JOHN!

- JOHN, WE'RE IN THE MARINES.

- YES! BRING OUT SOME OF
THAT GOOD MADEIRA, WILL YOU?

YOU KNOW, GENTLEMEN,
THERE'S SOMETHING TO WHICH

I'VE BEEN GIVING
A LOT OF THOUGHT LATELY.

NOW,
THE FRENCH AND THE BRITISH

HAVE BEEN IN THIS WAR
FOR SOME TIME NOW.

THEY MUST HAVE PERFECTED
CLOSE COMBAT TECHNIQUES

WHICH ARE MORE REALISTIC
THAN OURS.

NOW, I FEEL THAT WE OUGHT TO
SEND SOMEONE OVER THERE

TO OBSERVE AND LEARN.

- ANTHONY, I DON'T THINK
THAT SOMEBODY

WHO'S BEEN IN THE MARINES
FOR LESS THAN FIVE MINUTES

SHOULD BE TRYING TO DECIDE
CORPS POLICY.

- OH, HE'S SURE TO END UP
RUNNING THINGS, MRS. BIDDLE.

HE MIGHT AS WELL
START OFF THAT WAY.

- OH, THANK YOU, JOHN.

YOU SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT ONE
FOR YOURSELF.

- I'M NOT MUCH
AT MAKING SPEECHES,

BUT I GUESS YOU KNOW
HOW WE ALL FEEL ABOUT THIS.

- MR. BIDDLE HAS LANDED,

AND THE MARINES
ARE WELL IN HAND.

RIGHT?
men: RIGHT!

- * WELL, WELL, WELL

* LET'S HAVE A DRINK ON IT

* AS ME FATHER USED TO SAY

* WHEN THE TRUTH
IS NOBLY SPOKEN *

* IT'S RESPECT
YOU'VE GOT TO PAY *

* SO FILL YOUR CUP
AND LIFT IT UP *

* AND, CLINK, HERE'S HOW

* NO SHIMMY SHALLYING,
NO DILLY DALLYING *

* LET'S HAVE A DRINK ON IT
NOW *

all: * NO SHIMMY SHALLYING,
NO DILLY DALLYING *

* LET'S HAVE A DRINK ON IT
NOW *

- OH, AH, EXCUSE ME, MA'AM.

- WELL,

CONGRATULATIONS,
CAPTAIN BIDDLE.

- THANK YOU, CORDELIA.

- OH, STEP THIS WAY, GENTLEMEN!

- WE RUSHED RIGHT OVER
AS SOON AS WE HEARD.

- * WELL, WELL, WELL

* LET'S HAVE A DRINK ON IT

* AS ME FATHER USED TO SAY

* WHEN THE TRUTH
IS NOBLY SPOKEN *

* IT'S RESPECT
YOU'VE GOT TO PAY *

* SO FILL YOUR CUP
AND LIFT IT UP *

* AND, CLINK, HERE'S HOW

* NO SHIMMY SHALLYING,
NO DILLY DALLYING *

* LET'S HAVE A DRINK ON IT
NOW *

* NO SHIMMY SHALLYING,
NO DILLY DALLYING *

- WHAT ON EARTH'S
HAPPENING HERE NOW?

- I UNDERSTAND MR. BIDDLE
IS GOING OFF TO WAR.

- I'M GLAD TO HEAR IT.

MAYBE WE'LL FINALLY
HAVE SOME PEACE AROUND HERE.

*

[sweeping instrumentals
continue]

*