All language subtitles for The Neighborhood 3x07 - Welcome to the Motorcycle (English)

Wrong.

Really, girl? You guessing
six dollars for Rice-A-Roni?

I knew it from your nails,

you never been in a grocery store.

Hey, Tina, have you seen Malcolm?

I just finished watching
that show Zombie Wars,

and I want to spoil
the ending for him.

Um, yeah, he went shopping.

Oh, good. You know what?
I'll text him

to pick up some Kleenex,
because his favorite character

is about to become
an all-you-can-eat buffet.

Well, it's not exactly
that kind of shopping.

He went to the used car lot
to get himself a car.

Without me?
But I'm the car expert.

If I'm not there to support him,

who gonna tell him
he picked out something stupid?

I know it hurts, babe.

Telling people they're stupid

is one of your favorite things.

But Malcolm is a grown man.

We've got to let him
make his own choices.

I don't know, babe.
It sounds stupid.

Calvin, come on. This
is important to him.

He's been working hard.

He saved up enough money
to do this on his own.

We need to be supportive of him,

no matter what car
he comes home with.

Fine.

But those used car dealers
are gonna eat him alive.

Just like those zombies did
to that family

that was hiding under the canoe!

Ooh, that's him!

Let's go see what he got.

I don't know.
From the sounds of that horn,

I'm guessing it's this big
and full of clowns.

Hey, check it out, guys.

What do you think?

- Oh, hell yeah!
- Hell no!

What?

We not being supportive anymore?

Well, in that case,

the preacher in your
zombie show dies.

- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -

You bought a motorcycle?

What the hell were you thinking?

Yeah, Malcolm.

Oh, you got
the chrome exhaust on it.

Malcolm, you said

that you were gonna get
a used car.

I know, Ma. And I was going to.

But then I saw this.

And I realized this
face is too sexy

to be hiding behind a windshield.

You are taking that back
this instant. Right, Calvin?

Huh? What?

Look,

I'm sorry, Ma, but I'm
not taking it back.

Excuse me?

Did you already crash?

'Cause I think
you got brain damage.

Ma, I paid for this
with my own money,

- and it's my decision, not yours.
- Whoa, whoa.

Malcolm, come on. Don't talk
to your mother like that.

Now, you're taking it back.

But before you do,
let me sit on it.

Calvin, don't you dare.

Come on, Tina.

You got to admit,
it's pretty cool.

What is it with men
and motorcycles?

Anybody with half a brain

knows that there is nothing cool
about them.

Whoa!

That is so cool.

What'd I do?

I'll tell you what you did.

You gave me a chance
to sit on this bad boy.

All right, well,
let me get on behind you, then.

- Whoa! Whoa!
- Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Oh, hey. Where were you?

Over at Tina's trying
to calm her down.

How'd it go?

I thought a glass
of wine might help,

but then she finished the bottle,

and it went the other way.

You know, I know it's dangerous,

but that bike is so cool.

Remember when you used
to pick me up on yours?

It was so exciting.
Racing around town,

zigzagging through traffic.

Yeah. I miss that Vespa.

We used to do so many
crazy things like that.

Remember when we went
skinny-dipping in Lake Michigan?

Oh, I sure do. That was
the summer I learned

that catfish can bite.

Wow. That all feels like
a million years ago.

Yeah.

What happened to those people?

Well, one of us went to the ER.

Gemma, is it possible
that we've gotten boring?

What?! No.

- We went to a party just last weekend.
- Gemma,

we were chaperones
at Grover's school dance.

Yeah, and thanks to us,

now they all know
the Cabbage Patch.

I'm serious.

You know,
we haven't done anything crazy

in the longest time.

We're as lame as that fifth grader

who got pantsed
on the dance floor.

Well, what are we supposed to do?

We're parents now.
We have responsibilities.

Well, actually, tonight, we don't.

You know, Grover's at a sleepover.

We can do whatever we want.

Like what?

I don't know. Like...

go to Vegas.

Seriously?

Yeah. Why not?

Look, if we fly,
we can be there in an hour.

It would be fun

to party somewhere
that isn't a cafeteria.

Yeah. Yeah.

What do you say?

Let's do it.

- I'll go pack my stuff.
- All right.

You do that. 'Cause tonight,
the Johnsons are getting crazy!

Right after I check our air miles.

Oh, hey, babe. What's for dinner?

Dinner? My baby's out there
on a death machine,

and I'm sitting here helpless.
Who can think about dinner?

Well, off the top of my head, me.

Calvin!

I'm sorry, babe. Look, I know
that you're upset and scared,

and I want to be sensitive, so...

I'll just order in.

Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

What do you think you're doing?

- Watching the game.
- Oh, no, you are not.

This stays off

so I can listen for sirens.

Tina, come on.

Sit down.
You're driving yourself crazy.

You need to relax.

No, do not tell me to relax.

None of this would've happened
if you had backed me up today.

Whoa, hold up, now.

Weren't you the one that said

that Malcolm's a grown man

and we need to let him
make his own decisions?

Yeah, but that was before I knew

he would make
such a dumbass decision.

Okay, babe, I know
where you're coming from.

I want him to be safe, too.

Then, Calvin, why aren't you
doing anything about it?

Well, what do you want me to do?

Put a boot on it? Set it on fire?

Run over it with my truck?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, all that.

Look, Tina,

I know that you're worried,

but the truth of the matter is
there's nothing we can do.

It's out of our hands.

You're right. It's in God's hands.

- Exactly.
- Get your keys. We're going to church.

- What?
- Mm-hmm.

As long as Malcolm
is on that bike,

we're going there every day
to pray for his safety.

But why do we have to go
to the church?

God is like Wi-Fi.

He's everywhere.

Calvin, we're going.

Now, let me go grab my Bible.

Well, the Rams
are a 12-point underdog.

I was gonna be praying anyway.

Here we go, our deluxe room

- with a view of the Strip.
- Oh,

thanks, Marco, but we didn't
come to look at the Strip.

We came to tear it up.

That's right.
The city that never sleeps

is about to get a wake-up call.

Okay. That's New York,
but I hear you.

Ooh! Uh, hey, Marco.

Where do the, uh,
young, fun people

like us

do their thing?

Just no foam parties.

Uh, I-I rash easily.

Well, we do have three
nightclubs downstairs.

I'd be happy to make a reservation

at any one of them for you.

One of them?

Book all three, and warn them

that the Johnsons are in town.

Got it. The Johnsons are in town.

No foam.

Oh,

this is so exciting.

Well, it's about to get
more exciting, because...

look what I packed.

- What is it?
- It's my bathing suit

from when we went skinny-dipping.

And it still fits.

Oh, babe.

Okay. So, you ready
to hit the town?

Let me just freshen up first.
I want to be nice and clean

for when we get down and dirty.

Oh, we're gonna
get down and dirty.

Just like when we fell
in that puddle on my Vespa.

Stay tuned

as the Forensic Mysteries
marathon continues.

Ooh! Ooh, I love
Forensic Mysteries.

The host is so cheesy.

"When the DNA results arrived,

it was curtains
for the interior designer."

I love it how he always steps
out of the shadows

to tell us the surprise twist.

I never see it coming.

The twist or the host.

Well, it's still early.
Let's just watch one episode

- before we go.
- Oh, yeah, sure. We have plenty of time.

He gets me every time.

Oh, hang on there, Malcolm.
I want to ask you something.

Look, I already told you, Pop.

I'm not taking any more pictures
of you on the bike.

Son, I know you love this bike,

but you riding it around
is worrying your mother sick.

I know, Pop. But
come on, man, you get it.

Can't you just go in
there and talk to her?

I tried, but you know your mother.

Once she makes up her mind
about something, that's it.

How do you think we got Marty?

All right, well,

just tell her not to worry, okay?

And I promise you, I'll be safe.

Okay, look, Malcolm,
let's just go back down there

and get you a car
just as cool as the motorcycle.

If you put the windows down
and wear your helmet,

you'll barely notice
the difference.

So, instead of a motorcycle,

you want me to drive a used car
while wearing a helmet?

You can't tell me
that won't turn heads.

Look, I'm sorry, Pop, but this
is what I want, all right?

And if Mom can't deal with that,
then that's her problem.

Hmm. So, there's nothing
I can say to change your mind?

Nope.

Well, it's a good thing
I brought these.

Are those handcuffs?

They sure are.

Well, what the hell
are you doing with them?

Saving your ass.

But more importantly...

I'm saving mine.

Come on, Pop. Quit messing around.

Uncuff yourself from my bike.

I'm sorry, Malcolm,
but it's too dangerous.

If I got to go to church every
day, I might kill somebody.

So this is your genius
plan? You're gonna

stay out here until I agree
to get rid of the bike?

Well, my first idea was
to handcuff myself to you,

but then I realized,

that's more of a reward
for you than a punishment.

You know what? Okay, fine.

You want to play that game?
I'll just wait you out.

Good luck,
'cause I'm not going anywhere.

Well, maybe not right now,

but at some point, you're
gonna have to use the bathroom.

And when you do,
I'll be right there.

Not in the bathroom with you, man.

On the bike, riding away.

Well, see, that's where
you're wrong.

I got a plan
for the bathroom, too.

Tina, bring me the jar!

So when the lab results
traced the hair

back to the chef, it turned out

it was her goose that was cooked.

And that concludes

our Forensic Mysteriesmarathon.

Stay tuned for
Rise and Shine Las Vegas.

Ge-Gemma, wake up!

Five more minutes. I'm dreaming
about us skinny-dipping.

For some reason,
there's a goose there.

No. Gemma, you got to wake up.
We fell asleep.

Huh? What?

It's morning.
We missed our wild night!

What?! We did?!

Yeah.

The only crazy thing
we did last night

was get ten amazing hours
of sleep.

You're right.
I feel totally rested.

This is terrible!

I can't believe that we blew it.

We didn't go to the casino,
the club or the pool.

I packed my imaginary
bathing suit for nothing!

Oh... Yeah.

I wanted to wake up ashamed,
but not like this.

I hate to say it, Gemma, but
we're officially boring people.

It turns out
our glory days are over.

Come on. That's not true.

We have an amazing life.

Great friends, good jobs,

the best kid ever.

If you ask me, it doesn't get
any more glorious than that.

I know. I just wish
we still had it in us

to go crazy every once in a while.

And I'm not just talking
about blowing all our air miles

upgrading to Economy Plus.

Well, we still have three hours
before we fly home.

So?

So why don't we do
something crazy right now?

You know what?

You're right.

And I know exactly

- how we're gonna do it.
- How?

- We are gonna hit the hotel minibar.
- Ooh!

Because what is wilder

than eating
an eight-dollar candy bar?

Oh.

I'll tell you what's wilder...

Chasing it
with a bunch of tiny tequilas.

That's right. Look out, Vegas,

'cause the Johnsons are still in town!

Nope. Those are bath beads.

Oh.

Here you go, baby.
I brought you a snack.

- Oh.
- Anything else you need?

- No, babe. I think I'm good.
- Ah.

Thanks again for doing this, baby.

Sacrificing yourself
to protect our son.

Aw, you know me...
Always putting myself last.

Hey, when you're done with
my neck, can you do my feet?

Hey, guys.

I'll see you later.

Where are you going?

Oh, just for a little ride.

Ride? On what?

Yeah. Did you borrow
Grover's wheelie shoes?

Oh, that's cute. Y'all are funny.

Actually, I'm taking your truck.

Say what now?

Yeah, I figure
since you took my wheels,

I'm gonna take yours.

You can't take my truck.

Nobody takes my truck!

Don't do this, Malcolm.

Your father loves you,
but that truck is his baby.

Yeah, I know, Ma. It's like the
little brother I never drove.

I know you're not
gonna open that door.

Ooh. He opened the door.

Malcolm, I'm not playing with you.

You better not
get behind that wheel!

Ooh! He got behind the wheel!

Yeah, well, that's okay.
That's as far as he's gonna get.

She's got a tricky ignition.
He can't figure it out.

Ooh! He figured it out!

Tina, would you stop
giving me play-by-play

and go stop him?!

I'm telling you, Malcolm, if
you crash your little brother,

you best believe
I'm coming for you!

Ladies and gentlemen,

please welcome
the Beer Chug Champion

of the Silver Sands
Motel and Casino...

Gemma Johnson Presley.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. And to all
the tired moms out there,

if you can dream it,
you can drink it.

Oh, wow.

I got to hand it to us.

That was the craziest
morning of my life.

I can't believe we hit all three
of those nightclubs.

Yeah. Although it would have
been more fun if they were open.

I guess for an old, boring couple,

we still know how to party.

We sure do.

Mmm. Gin and Gatorade.

Well, the good news is
I don't have to worry

about you dying
on that motorcycle anymore,

because your father
is gonna kill you!

Oh, please. I am
not afraid of Pop.

But you think we have enough gas
to get to Mexico?

Malcolm, why are you being
so stubborn about this?

Can't you see we are just
trying to protect you?

And I appreciate that, Ma,
but I'm a grown man.

That is not your job anymore.

Oh, really? When did I get fired
from being your mother?

I am not firing you, okay?

I'm just kind of...

reducing your hours.

Look, Ma, I know
you think that's stupid,

but to me, this isn't
just about the bike.

Then what's it about?

It's about me being independent,

making my own choices.

Okay, I've been working and
saving up money for a long time.

I've earned this.

Just because you earned it
does not make it a good idea.

Well, maybe not, but it does
make it my call.

Still... you are my baby.

I know, Ma,
but I'm also my own man.

You understand that, right?

Of course I do.

Then instead of
fighting me on this,

I need you
to try being proud of me.

Fine. I'm never gonna like it,

but if it means that much
to you, I guess...

I just have to accept it.

Thank you, Ma.

And I promise, I will
be careful, okay?

I won't be one of these
reckless idiots riding around

with no idea what they're doing.

Malcolm, pull over there!

And God help you if you
adjusted my seat, boy!

Pop, what the hell are you doing
on my bike?!

You're gonna kill yourself!

Relax. I've been
riding motorcycles

since before you were born.

Oh!

Calvin!

Ma, is he okay?

Damn it! The next time
I swerve into your lane,

you better get out
of my way, fool!

- Yeah, he's fine.
- Yeah.

Ooh, hey, Calvin. You okay?

Yeah, Tina said you
got in an accident

on Malcolm's motorcycle.

Well, what all did she tell you?

Well, that was pretty much it.

Oh, okay. So here's what happened.

I was cruising

down Franklin, and this big rig...

It jackknifed right
in front of me.

And I... and I realized
there's no way

that I'm gonna get off
of this thing.

So... so I slid. I was like...

And then I came out,
and there was some kids

in the crosswalk, and I was like,

"Oh, Lord, look at these kids.
There's no way."

So I had to pop a wheelie, like...

And then the kids,
they was like "Save me."

It was like, "Thank you,
mister." And I was like,

"Fine, kids. It's what I do."
You know?

There was a curb there,
and for whatever reason,

it was a family of ducks,
and I was like, "Aah!"

And that's when I hopped.
That's when I hit the curb,

and I was like,
"Hey, hey! There you go."

And everybody was safe, though.

The animals were cool,
and the kids were happy,

and I gave 'em money for pizza.

Uh, but, uh, I don't like
to talk about it, man.

Wow.

Wow. Well, uh,

we had a pretty wild weekend, too.

Uh, Gemma swam in a hotel fountain

and rode her suitcase
around a luggage carousel.

Only after Dave drank a
mini-fridge full of vodka

and chased it with half
a jar of bath beads.

Guys, if you're just gonna
make stuff up,

I'm gonna go inside.

- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -