Original subtitles

hmm

so

so

foreign

foreign

so

good morning my lord clement weather

draft here love grove begs me to inform

your lordship

that the phalaenopsis lord manana in the

south conservatory

is in full blue eh an orchid oh

anything in the paper the suffragettes

are again giving trouble my lord

one of them threw a brick bat through a

window at number 10 last evening oh

well go on for any casualty an under

footman sustained a broken nose

no one of any consequence was hurt the

prime minister was dining out

huh that's pretty what do you mean

no one of any consequence how do you

know that the underfootman wasn't just

as good a fella as the prime minister

my lord i beg you to learn your voice if

any of the other servants should hear

you now we've had this discussion before

crichton

today i intend to prove my point oh no

my lord

yes crichton get my daughters out of bed

immediately i'd beg your pardon

what oh well we'll get get their mage to

get them out of bed

breakfast will be in 30 minutes and i

expect all three of them to be there

very good my lord

i'll send wallace and interdress you

liberty equality fraternity

all for one and one for all criter that

was the french my lord

good morning cry good morning my lady

his lordship is waiting

thank you christian good morning kraken

good morning lady catherine his lordship

is waiting you're doing good

morning crichton his lordship is waiting

lady agatha no golly

morning father morning father why have

we been dragged out of bed at this

unearthly hour

on earthly my dear girl are you aware

that millions of good people in the

british isles

have already been hard at work for three

hours and more people yes

but not us and thousands of them have

started their day

on no more than a crust of bread and a

cup of water

you seem very interested this morning

father in the way other people live

i am and so are you to be all of you

father please not at breakfast that mate

of yours mary

what's her name fisher yes fisher

what's her christian name well i don't

know and what's more i'm sure she

doesn't want me to father dear you'll be

asking us next to share our meals with

our maids

that's exactly what you are going to do

father what can you mean well i mean

this

at four o'clock this afternoon you will

all be in the drawing room

there we shall entertain the staff to

tea the entire staff

you will treat them all as your equals

i for one refuse to have any part of it

have you forgotten father that george is

coming to tea

mary i order you to be present all i can

say

father is if my life has to be ruined i

should have preferred to have done it

myself

well i can't be there ernest woolley is

taking me to london in his new motor car

at four o'clock catherine but father how

can we i said

four o'clock

father i was

well they'll get used to the idea i

sincerely hope not my lord

none of that now surely you don't object

to meeting me as man to man

haven't i always treated you as a human

being most certainly not my lord

your treatment to me has always been as

it should be well that's enough

this afternoon at four o'clock you will

be my equal i'll soon show you whether

you're my equal or not almighty you do

as you're told

very well my lord

the entire outdoor staff will also be

present but i shall speak to them later

the order of entry will be posted on the

notice board outside my sitting room

after luncheon

that is all now have any questions

we aren't going to be asked to sit down

are we mr crichton

you most certainly are mabel and not you

will remember

on the edge of the chair you will all

seat yourselves firmly in the center of

it

oh i shall die now you will do no such

thing in liza

not at any rate until you have left the

room it'll be a bit of a luck i reckon

we'll have a real good blowout all

friends together eh crichton

did i hear you call me crichton yes sir

in 10 to 15 years time you might have

reached a position in which you would

address me as mr crichton

never in any circumstances whatsoever

would you be entitled to call me

crichton

there's a train at 12 30 pack your bags

right about your duties and remember

no gossiping above stairs i apologize

for that boy's behavior mr clinton

you look pale mrs perkins do you wonder

small glass support perhaps

oh thank you

better than your father's tea party what

oh only we weren't just looking on what

well steady arnold

oh no they mustn't

mrs pacquiao ah mrs peck

delighted marin

this is idea mrs perkins how'd you do

pleased i'm sure broccoli has uh valued

mrs perkins

mr flatty oh forgive me

won't you sit down

my dear fellow i'm charmed to see you

i'll bring you some tea

uh come along now i want to hear all

about your puddings thank you very much

mr rolliston hmm oh john come and look

after mr rogerson

and who is mr roston father's valley

how do you do mr alliston yes this is uh

an unexpected pleasure this sort of

thing is utterly opposed to all my

principles

it's the same for all of us brocky and

please don't call me brocky

you know i'd test it brookie dear if

you're going to marry mary

my engagement to mary has yet to be

announced

miss fisher

by jove

i'm charmed to see you mrs come and sit

down weren't you

now tell me what do you do uh in the

house i mean

oh man it's the love tea for two ah

love grill how are all your family ah

say to you my lord and how is your wife

blooming

blooming first thing this morning opened

out a fair treat she did

bright purple with deep yellow spots she

is

good lord good she won't last no she'll

be dead by monday

that's the trouble with orchids my lord

they won't last orchids

oh yes yes of course come and have some

tea

james rose mary

take the girls a cup of tea father

no no allow me my lady this must be

almost distasteful to your cry

i'm ashamed to be seen speaking to you

my lady now now creighton

none of that we're all on equal terms

today you know

how is everyone here all but the odds

and ends my lord

i want everybody not the tweenie

everybody

eliza

keep still go

i'm so happy to see you eliza milo

my daughter mary no

now come along and meet the others i

think i'll be all right here thank you

my lord

you must do as you're told eliza oh come

along ah

mary you're neglecting your guests

have you been to the opera lately

well what sort of weather have you been

having in the kitchen

for heaven's sake woman be articulate

forgive me my lord

lady mary wishes to speak with you eh oh

thank you crichton

i think you're wonderful you won't leave

me will you

no i won't leave you have a crumpet

enjoy yourself

oh it's too much it didn't seem too much

when you were entertaining fisher

oh i say mario girl that's not fair

pretend right thank him his mother

hasn't arrived yet

your thanks a rather premature george

henry

my dear emily what has happened to your

staff your front door was open to me by

a stable boy

nice lad uh you're just in time to meet

some of my

friends now let me see oh yes

you remember thomas emily charmed

monte carlo was it no fenway hall

oh poor little cynthia's coming out paul

that was before i came to his lordship

his lordship of course i was only the

underfoot when then

an underfootman you see she'll never

allow our engagement now

oh this is frightful this is lerm hall

oh yes sir oh this is crichton speaking

who is it crichton it's mr woolley my

lady or i cried and i'll speak to him

ernest where's catherine

where ernest

have you been drinking

father he says catherine's been arrested

arrested

wally no no what

yes of course goodbye a suffragette

my daughter arrested as a suffragette

that's what comes of all this downed

equality

is this a mad house henry you hobnob

with servants

you introduce me to a footman is it any

wonder that your daughter lands in jail

george

come in

my lord i noticed you were still awake

so i took the liberty of bringing you a

cup of hot chocolate

oh thank you christian very considerate

of it

um with respect my lord i have been

giving a great deal of thought to your

lordship's predicament

might i suggest that in six months time

this unfortunate occurrence will have

been forgotten

oh what about it probably six months of

misery

if you are still here my lord you mean

run away i had thought uh a breath of

sea air perhaps

oh yes the yacht stream yacht

my dear cricket you're a genius

mediterranean eh somewhat crowded at

this time of the year my lord

oh all right well the west indies

a little further perhaps south shoes

a happy choice and might i suggest

further my lord that the two young

gentlemen be asked to accompany you

young wooly you mean and that person

indeed my lord what about brocklehurst

well i hardly think that lady

brocklehurst will allow no

no no she won't will she that's splendid

yeah how about staff damned incompetent

last trip

uh if you would consider coming yourself

this time

well under the circumstances

thank you crichton thank you incredible

my lord are you a good sailor

i'm a firm believer in the triumph of

mind over matter

what's the ship's head due north sir

steady on that point

oh i'm sorry my life

inclement weather my lord a cup of tea

no

bring me a bowl full of what my lord

just a bowl

a large bowl because

you tell that idiotic skipper to stop

rocking the boat

or i'll give him his notice

ah crichton you really are a paragon

ice cold of course i trust you will find

it so sir

nectar thank you sir it'll be hotter

tomorrow

we're very near the equator aren't we

crying some 20 degrees north of it my

lord

oh our present latitude coincides with

that of the hawaiian islands which lies

some 400 miles to the eastward

oh thanks chris isn't he wonderful

ernest he knows everything

except how to keep cool eh croydon why

not design yourself a tropical outfit

like

something with an open neck and short

sleeves and between it too

a few bees and a grass skirt be rather

fetching what

indeed yes sir very amusing

i'm really honest

do you find it amusing crichton no my

lady then why did you say so

mr wooly is the second son of a pier a

cooling drink my lady

thank you

crichton

what sort of a man are you as sort of a

man

are you ambitious ambitious for what

to better yourself my lady i am the son

of a butler and a ladies maid

the happiest of all combinations to me

the most beautiful thing in the world

is the haughty aristocratic english home

with everyone kept in his place

that's not how my father would have it

indeed he would not my lady

he would have equality for all but what

could that do

any satisfaction i might derive from

being your equal

would be ruined by the footman being

equal to me

yes i see wouldn't work would it

in no circumstances my lady in no

circumstances whatever

no well

thank you kreider thank you

here is what are you doing here

you know very well this deck is out of

bounds i'm sorry sir

i'm the moon lovely isn't eliza isn't

beads in a grass skirt hey

have you ever been kissed eliza kissed

when i'm a surprise the first

kiss is of paramount importance yes

it should be the correct mixture of

delicacy and passion

designed neither to over excite

nor repel

oh mr crying

mr spooner what are the messengers below

see they're all secured on deck

all right

yes yes i know but i can't this is a

ship not a flaming country mansion

and in a storm and rocks about

we're running before the wind and 200

miles off course

very good captain we shall i take it

whether the storm

there's no reason why we shouldn't

unless the engines blow up

like that you mean like that

come on

hi my ladies

come in well really quite this is a fine

time of night to be shipwrecked hurry my

lord

there's a distinct fist support where's

roniston i refuse to leave this ship

without my shoes

oh oh dear

abandon ship take to the boats

well there's no need to panic clinton

don't panic

hurry

the captain's orders i own this ship

use your toes

not now

here's mr

i look after you come on

keep your hand up

were you doing in the water i beg your

pardon my lord i was unexpectedly

delayed

in any case you should be in the staff

vote not with us i'm very sorry sir

shall i withdraw my law don't be an

[ __ ] sit down

all right throw away

ouch has anyone got any nails

oh come on

any sign of anything no sir

we appear to be alone well we're the

blazers of the other boats

i fear we drifted apart during the night

my lord

if indeed we are not the sole survivors

well it's a lovely afternoon anyway

crichton

who is this person her name is eliza my

lady

and what is her position in the

household on the training your lady shep

the what of a tween made my lady that is

to say she is not strictly speaking at

the moment

anything are we you understand you two

are keeping company

oh my lady a butler don't keep company

indeed

let us say i have cast a favorable eye

upon her

land hey what look if you please mrs

johnson

is it land triton undoubtedly my lord

well how long before we reach it

we should be ashore before long oh sure

but we can't go ashore like this

how can we possibly meet the governor in

our condition my hair's a sight well

what are we to wear

are we to stay in government house

without a maid between us

if i might suggest my lady as a

temporary expedient

what oh mr god now couldn't her manners

as you may have observed of adorable

but she has a homely appearance and a

heart of gold possibly

but i'm afraid she will not do quite

impossible

quite

well what do you see palm trees my lord

white sands and palm trees

i'm afraid that's as far as it prepare

my lord where is everyone

they must have seen us drifting in i say

how do we get out

may i suggest sir that the gentleman

carry the ladies huh

oh yes of course that's a splendid idea

uh

a little russian champion i

said it's beautifully warm it's probably

spot for babies

i don't care girl come to daddy come on

my lady

i beg your pardon my lady

coming for a panel sir is it stoney no i

don't think so

thank heaven for that

come eliza well mr crouch knock and get

out by myself

now then the first thing

is to discover where we are creighton

my lord

locate the nearest town or village find

some transport and bring it back with

him

very good my lord may i mention the boat

and yes yes i'll see to that

now then you too bring her in and tie it

up to something

all right sir

now then triton get along with you here

this one will do

have you got enough string

there we are splendid rather good

look at you idiots the vote

girl

me you ladyship come here

if you are going to be our maid you may

as well make yourself useful

are your hands clean

very well you may comb my hair

well i'll do my best your lady ship

tied it to a turtle of all the guys they

said don't go on about it

do you realize it may be hours before

we're picked up

not ours so sure we may even have to

stay here all night

oh we know about that i tied it to a

turtle

never mind about the boat did you find

the town

no my lord there is no time but don't be

absurd

we're on an island an uninhabited island

you mean there's no one here at all

there are birds animals possibly

reptiles

but that is all we are alone

well what are we going to do we can't

just stay here it'll be dark soon

john clyden

what a father you are the head of the

family

you must give the orders orders we do if

we've got to stay here something must be

arranged about

food and sleeping accommodation yes yes

yes all right

now let's get into the shade and then we

must find some food

there must be some berries or something

come on

go along eliza go along

are you quite sure there's nobody else

on the island quite sure my lady

how long do you think it'll be before

we're rescued

we were driven far off our course many

miles from the regular shipping routes

i see thank you

my lady

don't give up how dare you crichton

the darn thing won't catch who told you

about this woolly

i read it somewhere it takes time you

know

the sun will be down in another hour

phew this is exhausting

sure it can be done online oh yes it's

the friction that does it

well that's what the book says i'd like

to meet the author

it'll be dark soon and we must have a

fire do you suppose there are snakes who

don't

waste of time will you allow me please

gentlemen

would you mind clearing this on pizza

dry grass elisa

your spectacles my lord

hey i told you simple yes sir

when you know how shall i prepare the

sleeping quarters now my lord

yes yes if you will thank you

you comfortable it's a lovely bed

i think you're wonderful mr crichton

you're a good little soul eliza

i'm not half hungry sir not off oh

lord i'm at it again it's all right now

it's no good

i'm just a common bit of rubbish i use

all the wrong words don't i

i try not to especially when you're

around

i shouldn't worry about it the trouble

is i like them

i gloat over them when i'm by myself

blow me off says and core love me

ain't not up do you know what

all the time i was getting wet i was

praying to myself

oh lord let it be an island what it's

natural to be vulgar on

that's the thought i am sir uh i'd best

give me up if i was you

i won't give you up eliza we'll fight

your vulgarity together

cool there i've never been no one like

you

ever yes well you were to lie down and

get some sleep

mr crying it is safe here aren't you

we won't all get eaten alive in our beds

will we

don't you worry eliza i'll be keeping

watch

clement whether my lord what's that

a coconut revolt uh windfall

i'm afraid my lord later on we may hope

for fresher fruit

nothing to drink i have located a

freshwater spring some distance along

the beach

oh where's the um uh follow me my lord

are you sure this is the right way it's

positive my dear jess

i can see all sorts of fish

earnest

it's no use the darn thing's too tight

i'm very sorry my lord

i have a small foot oh well this is a

pretty kettle of fish crayton

we can survive my lord you think so

others have with courage and good

leadership

without adequate food or shelter we

shall have both before long

well i don't see how you're going to

manage it i'm not the only man in the

party

well how do you think i'm going to get

trehan and wooly to work if i might

suggest it to my lord

no work no dinner and what about ice

crying

are my sisters and i included in your

curious rules not my rules my lady

fate makes its own rules so the perfect

servant at home now considers that we're

all equal

most certainly not my lady i have always

maintained that in all circumstances

there must be one to command and others

to obey

no work no dinner eh well it's worth

trying

i'll ask you what good is it without

matches for the time we get it going the

ship would be out of sight if the ship

ever comes

that fella cried he's getting too big

for his boots i wish he were then i

could have him

a ship john it's a ship it's a ship

we're sailing it's coming in

like the beacons will tell the others

it's our yacht well what in heaven's

names are doing here

it's going to hit the rocks

right that damn skipper the lunatic call

that navigation i'll have him in jail

so the skipper isn't a ball there's

nobody at all

why are we abandoning her she's going

down

oh i can't look

i lost hope god you better get back to

the camp

cripe have you gone mad

go and make yourself decent at once i

beg your pardon my lord

but i must get out of the wreck before

she sinks any further

can anyone else swim good lorna not a

stroke

i can a little i might be able to get

there

well we won't risk it this time my lady

what an extraordinary fella he is

i i wouldn't mind wagering you'll get

there

god mr clyden you can do it

danny look lovely oh doni

that'll do gentle thank you

she seems to be holding well my lord we

should salvage a great deal

congratulations my dear fellow splendid

effort

you um didn't find my cigars by any

chance i didn't look for them

gentlemen would you mind giving me a

hand please i want to get out to her

again before the tide rises

right my lady i suppose you didn't bring

us any clothes

no but needles and thread

you'll find them useful

your slippers i believe eliza oh thank

you mr crichton

would you mind lending a helping hand my

lord critin wait

father axes and lanterns are all very

well but i insist upon crichton bringing

us some reasonable clothing

here here i do see why we shouldn't have

some sheets and pillowcases for our beds

table in in two and what about our

dinner service huh

well father you're in charge here

well my lord well

do as they say and get what you can

very good

well what's that meant to be coconut

belong but we had coconut for lunch damn

it and for breakfast

but this is diced at lunch and you will

remember it was shredded

but you must have found some food on the

yacht crichton i brought back what i was

instructed to sir

crichton you forget yourself do i my

lady

what's this are you questioning my

orders crayton

my lord we're not in england now we're

on a desolate island hundreds of miles

from anywhere

and if we're not very careful we're all

going to die on it

that's no concern of yours from now on i

shall give the orders

and you will obey them

with the deepest respect my lord no

what did you say i said no my lord oh

did you

well you could take a month's wages and

you have noticed and don't come to me

for a reference

my lady you cannot manage on your own

none of you can

you flatter yourself crichton that's all

you can go

very well my lord if he goes i'm going

to don't be stupid girl

i mean it you must stay here eliza what

with this look

not blooming likely if she goes who's

gay agatha

well what are you waiting for

your pardon my lady

huh suppose we better get on with dinner

out

finished

oh

no fire no shelter and

coconut

now what is this i can smell something

so can i cooking by heaven

it's roast pork it's coming from over

there it's coming from the bay come on

it's coming from home

pork chops they've got pork chops and

onions

i can't believe i'm going down father if

you do

i'll never speak to you again mary

pop chops

my lady won't you come down and admit

that you won

i'd rather die first

either one pork chop between two

yes mr carton

hmm

keep swimming my lady you're doing

splendidly

not much further jesse does it

you never know what you could do till

you dry

you are my lady drink this this will

warm you up

oh i might have drowned

and you'd have left me would i i wonder

what did you come out here for anyway oh

does it matter

well i'm just curious it's a long way

for scented soap and silk stockings

i wanted some food and something warm to

wear and

a pair of shoes no shoes i'm afraid

your cabin's underwater you did driving

well of course i did

you're learning quickly i'll try and

find you something else

dear

there we are try this besides

it's all right

my friends it is now nearly two years

since we received the woeful news that

the good ship blue bell

had encountered disaster followed by the

tragic tidings

concerning lord lomb his family

and others we give thanks that the

gallon captain

and his crew and all his other

passengers were so providentially

though tardily rescued we are further

honored today

by the presence amongst us of a great

lady

the countess of brocklehurst was the

first

to contribute to the lone memorial fund

indeed so generously that i'm happy to

tell you there was

quite a little peace left over for the

organ thunder

well as you all know there were plans

afoot for lord lomb's

eldest girl to have married my son now

she's at the bottom of the sea

and he he is broken-hearted

uh absolutely so in memory to lord lomb

and his three daughters

the two young men and crichton the

butler

and the tweety oh very well and another

young person

i now declare this bizarre i now unveil

this memorial

good morning today

hello

good morning governor clement weather

good thanks daddy i should be interested

to hear what you think about that

what is it i like that that's good

thanks governor

it's that new seaweed you found it gives

it a tang

that's it well daddy how are you feeling

today any complaints

i walked across just now and stood on

the spot where we landed

two years ago today oh my goodness

you've worked miracles governor

that includes giving you a waistline eh

oh i'm afraid i've wakened you a bit

earlier this morning gov

you're ready for your bath yes right

away oh i've um

i put a new shell in your razor good

thank you

lawrence robertson kitchener general's

ballerina

all dressed up in their car okay all

ready to find

lily

luger morning dog morning girls

what's all this happy second anniversary

with our love bless your heart from the

top orchard

mm-hmm should be a good crop this year

i'm not surprised all the work you put

in

how's the barley coming along we should

harvest it next week god

i'm planning the new work schedule today

i say that's a smart outfit you've gone

on

like it hmm delightful i designed it

myself

get on the short side there isn't it

you'll be giving the men ideas

thing sir i think you both look

charming in fact if i had to choose

the breakfast won't be longer thanks

daddy right go

back to work oh god

matt is late i'm sorry oh that's all

right

i'll put these in water thank you

there you are tweenie how's that for the

governor's lunch they'll do

don't you dirty my floor now daddy's

just swept him all right if i do it

i'll sweep it again i'd like to see you

oh now don't be beasted to me you know i

adore you oh need

shut up tweenie

i've been meaning to say this for a long

time it's so difficult to get you on

your own

i do my dad only look i'm cooking trinia

i know i was a complete ass when you

first knew me suppose i'm no great

shakes even now

oh ernie well there's a perfect sight

for a bungalow down by porcupine creek

and i'd build it just the way you wanted

it and i'm really good at making

furniture

and i do love you so very much between

it i've forgotten this

honey are you asking me to walk out with

you

oh tween if i knew you would but what

about katherine

kathy's all right but she's not in your

class

besides besides what

well she's got her eye on the glove oh

has she well she can take it off again

i see i'm sorry ernie

that's the way it is that's all right

has he said anything well not yet

but he will least

oh don't keep on so oh get out

[ __ ] up please choose me

morning tweeting i can't avoid a lady

who whistles oh well i'm as good as you

are here

what's all this i'm breakfast orderly

this morning well you should have been

there to cook it

well anyway i'm serving it mary

um i got you a bird for lunch

wonderful well done mary i was after a

deer but no luck

garv yes it's months since we've had a

day out together

why don't you come dear hunting with me

sometime oh

might find myself chasing the wrong deer

i don't think you would

i wonder

you know mary you're a very pretty girl

have you got any followers on the island

huh certainly not

i thought perhaps john ernest might be

interested well i'm not interested in

them

how's the boat building going down at

the creek i don't know i haven't thought

much about it

now there's anybody else i said to talk

to them about that

will you warn them mm-hmm did you dance

catch this fish

yes how did you know i thought so he's

after hooking again

oh

hey come on

all right everybody i want to talk to

you for a while

well you probably know why i'm here i've

been looking at the progress report well

we're doing our best god

i mean with all our other duties now

john i don't want any vague excuses what

are you suggesting we're slacking

i'm not suggesting it i'm telling you

you are

don't you believe you can build this

boat we've been on this island for two

years

two whole years today do you want to be

here for three years

four five cut off from civilization

living like a lot of savages is that all

you want

what else should we want you must want

to get home

that's why i designed this boat to get

away from here

to get us all back to england where we

belong

do you want to go back well of course i

do

of course i do it's my duty to get you

back

and you're going to work

on the terrorist government's house this

evening

an anniversary dinner may i have the

pleasure of your company

oysters will be served

well done john you know something

huh the gov doesn't want to go either

i know for two pins he called the whole

thing up well then we could get on with

life

pass it all i want to get married and

settle down

oh who too well tweenie of course i'm

mad about it oh yes but

she's in love with the governor old man

i know she is

well you are no we none of us can make

any plans until he's made his choice

you're thinking of agatha of course well

no no

actually i wasn't but you mean you're

after tween it too

well i'm awfully sorry oh man but

well she's such a glorious creature well

you two seem to forget that trine is the

only one of them that i can

marry of course if the governor chooses

mary

well you're a father couldn't you have a

word with him sort of

urging monavie i would interfere in the

governor's private affairs

no course not no no we'll just have to

wait and

hope for the best

so

where did you die from

mary that's too high you might have hit

the bottom well i didn't

well you're not to do it again is that

an order no

i'm just asking you not to that's all

is something the matter mary

i don't want to leave this island any

more than you do i know you don't

i'm so happy here i've never been

happier in my life

how long will it last

why shouldn't it last we're eight human

beings

i'm very ordinary human beings at that

you're not ordinary gov oh yes i am

i know you call me the governor and

leave me with all the decisions because

you're best qualified to make them

but when it comes to something really

big i'm beaten

because i'm afraid you're afraid

what off that i'll lose you

well what do you say about that

if that's all you're afraid of gav

darling

let's stay

don't you worry about tweety i look

after her

come on let's get some more oysters

i just thought i don't even know your

name

it's bill bill

well the way that sand gets under the

governor's bed i mightn't have scrubbed

that floor all week

poor daddy do you want any help

here

dear daddy you're not much help really

but you're a nice cheerful old thing to

have around the place

am i well so long as i have some use

daddy that boat don't you really want to

finish it

why should i well well you've got so

much back there

making speeches in parliament fine house

lovely clothes plenty of money yes i

know

there are moments when london

i do miss london once in a while walking

down piccadilly

strolling through hyde park the barrel

opened outside the pub

the lights along the embankment hamster

teeth on a bank holiday

supplement romanos champagne

it was a little ham and beef shop down

the old kent road

i wonder what would happen if one day we

saw a ship out there

the beacon still on the hilltop waiting

to be lit

would you like it

which just goes to show what a sensible

couple we are

i say tweenie i know i'm not as young as

i was

three grown-up daughters

that's the trouble really

you're the only woman on the island who

i who see what i mean i'm daddy

oh i know about the governor

well if he chose one of the others

i'm only second best i know but

right work hard and please daddy

thank you you're so sweet and kind and

everything but

i know it's all right

old enough to know better where is

everybody

oh the gov's back oh i haven't dressed

his trousers

hello

here you are oysters enough for everyone

i'll get daddy to open them

got everything you want for the party i

think so god

oh tweeny a lot's happened in the past

two years isn't it

yes it has we've changed all of us

we're quite different people i suppose

we are why take you for example

you're as good as any of the others now

or better than son

tweenie i'm going to make an

announcement at the party tonight

about myself and mary

i'm going to announce our engagement

you are married engaged

hold on jacob

you don't mind tweenie me why did i mine

oh i don't know but two years ago i

thought oh that

i was just a silly kid then that was

that was just hero worship that's all

that was

oh see anyway you are the governor

you had to have first pick didn't you

and it's about time too i must say

now we can all stop this fidgeting and

get on

i'm sorry if i made things difficult for

you oh no you haven't

not for me besides i don't like a fella

drooling around me all day

not that i couldn't have if i wanted as

a matter of fact i've had two offers

only today

well that's all right then oh yes it is

well i can't stay here gossiping all day

i've got work to do

he went very red when she turned up her

nose

for you

to you gov and thank you for teaching us

all

the meaning of the word happiness oh do

you have any good health

governor yeah bless you thank you

a speech speech no i can't

well i can only say that if i have been

the teacher

you as the pupils can all go to the top

of the class

these past two years have been a

wonderful experience for me

but if we're gonna stay here and judging

from your efforts as boat builders i

strongly suspect that we are

okay then we've got to make some pretty

permanent plans for the future

well i'd like to start tonight with a

little plan of my own

daddy that's no good

i can't be formal about this mary and i

have decided we'd like to get married

may we have your consent and i hope your

blessing

my dear goff mail

but of course i'm deeply honored thank

you thank you

you broken ernesto heart god but i hope

you'll be very happy can we be

bridesmaid i order you to be

john you will marry us i suppose oh well

the greatest of pleasure god

uh you have both i take it been residing

in my parish the requisite period

come along once again all together

is

he's late god bride's privilege ernie

so

where's tweenie she said not to wait for

her well then we'll start shall we

daily beloved we are gathered together

here in the sight of god

and in the face of this congregation to

join together

this man and this woman in holy

matrimony

honorable estate instituted of god in

the time of man's innocence

william will thou have this woman to thy

wedded wife

to live together after god's ordinance

in the holy estate of

comfort matrimony honor and keep her

and forsaking all other keep thee

only unto her i will

mary will thou have this man to thy

wedded husband

to live together after god's ordinance

in the holiest state of matrimony

will thou obey him and serve him love

honor and keep him in sickness and in

health

and forsaking all other keep thee only

unto him

so long as you both shall live i will

who give it this woman to be married to

this man

i do

now repeat after me i william

i william take thee mary and take thee

mary to my wedded wife

to my witty wife to have and to hold to

have and to hold

from this day forward from this day

forward for better for worse or better

for worse

or richer for poorer more richer a ship

a ship like the beaker

no no we don't want them we don't want

them now do we

marry it may be our last chance but

we're happy here all of us happy

please please let the ship go it's all

very well for you

england to see england again

it'll be too late if we don't light it

over heaven's sake

like the beacon yeah wait wait everybody

there's only one person who can decide

what to do

there's only one thing we can do

hey come on everybody

oh god why did you do it did you see the

look on their faces

but it won't make any difference will it

we can still get married

promise it won't make any difference you

must go down to the beach man let's go

go along please

hey

a miracle my dear fellow an absolute

miracle

we'd given up all hope now this is my

eldest daughter mary

left unfortunately how do you do that

well you certainly seem to have made

yourselves comfortable here oh yes we

soon got things organized

you'll be amazed when i show you but

first you must have a drink slice the

main crazy

bye joe this is a red

a butler

uh this is the gun this is a crichton

my well well saved trident did you hear

that

in six weeks time we'll be back in

england

what do you think of that

congratulations my lord

well would you care to see the the

kitchen

my lady

so

john do smile people are looking this

ball was a terrible mistake but we had

to celebrate our rescue somehow everyone

expected

many of your fathers have lost his voice

or something someone had to take charge

but how courageous of you so i i set

them all to work and by nightfall we had

food and water and had a fire

wonderful all those people's lives in

your hands

great responsibility and you showed it

oh my dear cynthia

who else could my dog you have no

champagne

all right your grace thank you cry tell

me more about the child

there's a review of my book in every

paper and they're all splendid

they say it's the finest adventure story

they've ever read i'm a maid man

evening gretel good evening sir come

along catherine

i say you don't think he'll read the

book please fine too i think

oh no oh well if you had to write it you

should have written the truth now don't

be silly it'll go

anyway he's got nearly a whole page to

himself

earnest congratulations i read it last

night i couldn't put it down

neither could i the story of the tiger

cat poor lord lo with only a bow and

arrow

oh you saved his life there's no doubt

about that with your bare

hands too by job yes with my bare hands

i tell you remarkable

oh young wooly would have been a goner

that day that must have been a very

halloween experience

excuse me sir

i have a mistake mary remember where you

are i'm sorry father i

i keep forgetting mario crichton will

have to go

but it's like living on top of a volcano

but father he

he he won't say anything don't you see

that if he did

you read on his book haven't you well if

he did we'd be the laughingstock of the

whole country we can trust him

completely i'm sure of it

you don't seem to realize the

impossibility of my position oh

father have you forgotten so much

already he made us into real people

whatever happens we mustn't forget that

yes yes well i shan't

no then now then that's no way to talk

mary if you marry broccoli

he hasn't asked me yet ah mary

this is our dance

i'm crying

bring me a large whiskey and soda very

good my daughter

the island seems a long way away now

indeed it does like a dream best

forgotten eh

i fed your whiskey my lord

excused

i cannot wait a moment longer mother i

am consumed with passion

rubbish you should take more exercise

but you agreed i should propose tonight

i wonder what really happened on that

island you read wooly's book the whole

figment of the imagination

and if he's lying so i have no doubt on

all the others especially

why my dear george if i'd been

shipwrecked on a desert island with two

young men i daresay i should have lied

when i got to oh really

i'm determined to find out the truth i

want everyone who was on that island

assembled in the drawing room

immediately including crichton

he won't dare to lie to me but mother

you can't interrupt them george go and

tell them

george listen more than anyone begins to

answer me

with the fact is but why mother

because that is usually the beginning of

a lie

emily i object to being summoned from my

own ballroom in this peremptory fashion

don't bluster my dear henry now eminem

don't bluster

there are certain suspicions i wish to

allay before the announcement of

george's engagement

ah crichton my lady you were one of the

castaways i believe

i was now i want you to answer me

truthfully

i promise to do that my lady oh

oh a brilliant author oh i i don't know

your book mr woolies as engrossing as a

work of fiction

thanks well the

fact is hi

lady brockerhurst nothing whatever

happened on that island of which i am

ashamed

no really emily i must protest

my dear henry don't be alarmed i only

wish to discover whether the views you

used to hold on equality were adopted on

the island

well crichton were you all equal on the

island

no my lady i can safely say there was as

little equality there as elsewhere

were all the social distinctions

preserved as at home my lady

the servants they had to keep their

place how was that managed you gail tell

me that

if you please my lady was all the gov's

doing the gulp

in the regrettable slang of the

servant's hall my lady the master

is usually referred to as the gov indeed

and you did not take your meals with the

family almost certainly not

i dined apart and you gel did you dine

with crichton

uh then naturally the staff sat down

together

i see thank you creighton

thank you that's all one moment henry

young people will be young people even

on an island crichton

i suppose there was a certain amount of

uh shall we say

sentimentalizing going on

yes which gentleman you girl tell me

uh if you please your leadership

the fact is we didn't

it was mr ernest

with which lady was it lady mary

know your leadership uh it was

oh well i don't care which of the others

it was

those servants teased that used to take

place here

they did not seem natural on the island

my lady and were discontinued on the

gov's orders

an excellent proof that they should

never have taken place at all well i

admitted frankly and

i abandoned them as a result of our

experience on the island

i'm thinking of going over to the taurus

oh congratulations my lord

well i suppose that'll do you're an

excellent fellow greiten

and if after lady mary and i are married

you ever wish to change your place

you can come to us no why not

can you see why not my man

i had not told you my lord but as soon

as your lordship is suited

i wish to leave service

well i've said all i want to say let's

go back to the ballroom

ah spend it hold on captain

zardon smelly i think

worried of me wasn't it henry but if an

old woman can't be disagreeable now and

then

life would be unnaturably tedious

you make your lies you're leaving to

save the family

aren't you crying well there are too

many lady broccoli houses in england

what do you intend to do and if i can

help you know

financially no no no thank you my lord

i'm going to start up in business whilst

on the island i took the precaution of

acquiring a certain amount of

capital okay

daddy

i thought you had retired my lady i told

lord rufflehurst he must wait for his

answer

i'm sure you know best oh god i thought

you were a fighter

on the island on the island i had

tangible things to fight

yeah there's only civilization

no man can fight civilization into him

i'll fight with you we'd end up by

fighting each other

let's go back then to the island yes

i can still hear the sound of the surf

see the curve of the bay

one can't recapture a dream don't spoil

it by trying to

bill bill i won't let you go i won't

really you know i'm right

no i don't i love you you love somebody

you call the governor

he doesn't exist anymore now you're lady

mary

and it's time you say good night to cry

your butt

i know you've made me a cup of tea yes

girl

you don't mind if i call you gov just

for tonight anyway

move up make room for me

well it's been a bit of an evening hey

eliza what about that lady broccoli

oh a determined woman

how about her on the island eh heaven

forbid

you'd have handled it though

are you really going to wake up for good

i mean

yes i'm going

are you going to take me oh i don't know

tweenie

i just have to think about that after

all you're in a good position now

a lady's made your chances are good

and don't forget there was mary

i'll face up to that

besides that was on the island it's

different here

we do all right you and me we're made

for each other think of it

the butler and the ladies made the happy

combination

and what a chance for the children

go on run along up to ben good night

god bless

uh good luck crichton let's hear from

you indeed you will

good-bye my lord thank you i know thank

you

governor

good-bye john good luck with the new

parish thank you

and god bless you gov ernest

thank god i enjoyed your book

cathy vicar no more suffragettes

yoga agatha

i'll come with you to the door uh in a

moment my lord i'm expecting a lady to

join me

the lady i'm going to marry what

i'm sorry i kept you waiting

just want to wish you every happiness

thank you mary for my lovely clothes

well done congratulations

good luck um

after you eliza

thank you

so

you