Original subtitles

Ow, ow! Oh.

I was just going to caress you.

But you are kind of asking for it,

if you touch someone who's asleep.

Yes, duly noted.

I just hope we can have a rule in the future

that we can wake each other up at any time

to caress and cuddle.

That, at least, gets my vote.

You can caress me, at least,

any time you want...

as much as you want.

Yeah.

Now you look really scary.

That tattoo,

is it as spooky as you hoped it would be?

I sense battle.

Jarl Bjørn is gathering an army.

Can you smell that?

Yes, I can.

I also heard it from my spy...

and that gives me two sources.

There's going to be a battle. Yes, absolutely.

Two sources. That's good.

Send for our allies.

Send the ravens!

It's a true mystery for me how those ravens know

- exactly where to fly. - Yeah.

We've come so far technologically

that we no longer know how anything works.

It's true.

Everyone sends ravens,

but no one knows how it really works.

It's true. It's true.

If all the technology suddenly disappeared,

we'd be pretty much left high and dry.

Almost no one...

can manage to make the things we just take for granted in our modern world.

- Can you please stop with that philosophy? - Yeah.

- Stop! - Okay.

Remember I mentioned I was going fishing with my dad and brother?

After Mom died, things have been pretty busy.

So, it would be nice if we had a little break,

a little valuable family time.

Do you think family time is more important than raising a nithing pole?

No, no... no.

Dad, I'm sorry, I have to work, but we'll make up for it.

Catch one for me!

Great.

I love you.

- Arnstein! - Shh, shh, shh!

Come on!

I miss you so desperately.

I miss you, too.

But it's Olvar and me now.

But you don't really love him.

You just have this syndrome that there's no real name for yet,

but it has to do with becoming attached to your kidnappers.

Okay.

But I'm going to take you out of here and give you a better life.

- You can do that? - Yes.

A boat will take us to my relatives in Iceland.

Pack your bags. We're leaving tomorrow, my love.

- Okay. - Okay.

Liv!

- Okay, you have to go. - Liv!

Go, go go!

Liv!

Yes?

You won't believe it!

I caught a ladybug.

- Ladybug? - Yes!

- Wow! That's an interesting insect. - Yes! Come!

It is! Do you want to penetrate it later with a stick?

- Yes! - Yes.

I was just, uh...

orientating myself a bit here.

Inspecting the assicle.

Good, good.

We're on our way to Vargnes now.

Oh.

Good. Frøya, you aren't leaving, are you?

Yeah, I'm one of Olav's warriors now.

- Oh. - It's only a business trip. Obligatory.

You didn't mention that. I'll join you.

Uh, no, that won't be necessary.

You know, it's boring work stuff the entire time.

No, that's fine. I'll join you anyway.

We're supposed to do everything together now, at all times.

But you don't have a horse or anything.

No, I don't have a horse, but I can sit behind you and massage you.

Your muscles are probably very sore after all the sex-making last night.

Hey, we got the raven, came as fast as we could.

Yeah, very good.

Wow.

I like your new style.

Thank you.

I think that's good, someone dares to stand out in the crowd.

Very good to hear. Thank you.

Everyone, Varg's got a new style,

real scary.

Is that the "style2" >nithing pole?

Uh-huh.

Does it work?

Well, uh...

through the power of magic it can invoke misfortune

and accidents at a distance of several kilometers.

So, uh, yeah,

it works pretty well.

That's amazing.

If Jarl Bjørn considers to attack through the forest here,

he'll ride face-first into the style= "style2" >nithing beam.

Then he'll be toast.

Then there's no hope.

But aren't they riding straight into the nithing beam?

That can't be good.

Hey, there!

Get out of there! Turn around!

You're riding straight into the beam!

You're getting style= "style2" >nith on you!

Oops.

I think maybe that's...

Dad and Drim.

Dad? Hello! Dad!

Drim! Turn around!

Get out of there! Get out of there!

Get out of the beam!

The beam is trained on you!

Eliminate them!

Eliminate Dad and Drim?

They're doomed anyway.

Another option could be to wait and see

if >nith actually works.

Nith works.

They're dead men walking.

Yeah, of course you're right.

Straight in the head.

Very good, boys.

- My condolences. - Thank you.

Wow, what happened here, Varg?

Those gave me weird looks,

those talked behind my back,

I think.

Okay.

Please don't touch the war table.

Our entire battle plan is on this table,

so it would kind of suck if someone bumped one of the pieces.

Just marginally move one piece and many work hours would be lost.

Okay.

Yes, we have used an enormous amount of time and resources on

spying and recon in order to be able to position the pieces

in the exact way they are, so...

Enjoying yourself?

I suppose you're all wondering why I gathered you here today.

Isn't it because you wanted to assemble all your chieftans

to plan a coordinated attack

against Jarl Bjørn's army?

And that you also wanted to, uh, launch a brand-new concept

called the war table,

where the entire battle plan is laid out in, uh, detail?

At least that's what you wrote in the summons.

- Did you write all that? - Yes.

I didn't want the summons to be specific.

Right.

You said that you want to start surrounding yourself

with a lore of mystique, so, uh...

My bad. Poor summons writing.

But, yes, you are right.

Jarl Bjørn is gathering an army,

and my plan

is to destroy every one of them!

Jarl Varg has also promised

that there'll be room for a lot of ravishing,

so that's a positive.

The pieces on this side of the table represent

forces under my command.

These are your men, for example, Olav.

Oh, yeah, I see.

Your job during the battle is to attack from here

up to there.

I'll fix it.

That was Olav...

Olav.

I think it was pretty much in this area.

Yeah!

So, Olav...

from here,

up to there.

So, Olav,

- from here... - Mm-hmm.

Oops!

May Fenrir gnaw away every ounce of your blubber.

Rouse!

Get out!

Not you, Olav.

And not your...

plump right-hand man.

Torstein... out.

Out!

I apologize.

I apologize

profusely, almost.

So angry, over that?

It's insane.

Frøya, if you come with me, we will find some great yarn.

- Yarn? - Yes.

Yes, for crocheting.

- Come, come. - Um...

So...

seems like the dry spell might last a little longer.

Sure.

It was quite windy yesterday, but, uh...

the wind seems to have dropped some.

So, the wind seems to vary a little from day to day.

Sure.

- Yeah... - The wind isn't the same every day, no.

You have a spectacular face,

so beautiful.

It would be a shame if someone would happen to...

disfigure it.

Varg... it can't be right that you cannot lean on the war table.

Oh, no?

Well, aren't you supposed to lean over the table and point out

uh, weaknesses in the plan?

Have heated discussions and...

then someone introduces a plan so crazy it might just work.

And another one who might not even be totally convinced,

but still, he feels he has to follow his heart,

so he yells out,

"You have my sword."

And then eventually they all speak as one voice,

where they truly have something to fight for together.

Isn't that kind of, uh, how it is?

Uh, at least, that's how I pictured it.

I hate to admit it! Yes!

You are right!

That's exactly what I had envisioned, too.

And you saw for yourself how off central balance those pieces were.

It wasn't Arvid who tipped the war table,

it was poor craftsmanship.

Yes.

What's this?

A little raven with a message?

Is that an important message you have there, little raven?

That's a chicken.

Chicken? Right, of course.

I've never been very good with birds.

Okay.

I see beaks and wings, but aside from that...

they look all the same to me.

Totally identical.

You can't tell the difference between a sparrow and an eagle?

Not a chance.

Totally bird-blind. Always been.

Okay.

You know what?

Maybe the scouts didn't have any ravens left, so they sent a messenger chicken...

if that is a chicken and not a raven.

But I just have to take your word for that.

Okay, but are you gonna check the message? It might be insanely important.

Yeah. Hey!

A bird came with this.

Finally, now word has come.

Jarl Bjørn's army is marching towards Vargnes.

Go home and gather your army.

We will do.

Hey! And make sure that the war table carpenter gets punished.

Maybe confiscate his hammer?

No.

He shall be stripped of limbs.

His left arm,

his right leg, his tongue...

and cock!

See you on the battlefield.

This will be good.

Hi, Olvar. There you are.

Yeah.

What are you doing?

I'm just, uh, gathering some of my things.

Why, may I ask?

No particular reason, really.

Uh, just like to have my most important things gathered

in a sack or a practical bag.

Right. And, uh...

you're going somewhere?

Yes, actually, I'm just going out to meet some, uh, girlfriends.

Who?

Prefer to name no names. No one mentioned, no one forgotten.

Okay. Um...

One thing before you go.

Um, I was thinking, um...

maybe you have been a bit

disappointed that I haven't,

you know, spoiled you with jewelry and clothes and...

that type of things.

Just a little bit. A tad, maybe.

It has been a test.

Hm?

I just wanted to make sure

that you married me for all the right reasons,

that you weren't a person who pursued status and...

material wealth.

Huh? You thought that about me?

Well, I...

I just wanted to know if it was true love from your end.

- Wow. - Yeah.

I'm really disappointed, Olvar.

I feel really rotten to the core.

Mm-hmm. And for good reason.

Mmm.

'Cause you were so incredibly wrong.

Yes. Well, from now on, um, I'm going to shower you

with... status symbols so you can

really be better than all the other women in Norheim.

You really deserve that after the class journey you have made.

Is it okay that I maybe put on the rings right now?

Of course, yes.

This is fantastic, Olvar.

This relationship is really going somewhere now.

Yeah, that's how it is, you know,

when two people love each other more than life itself.

Oh! Gold and silver.

So shiny, so valuable.

And there's more where this comes from?

Yes, much more.

But off you go now, okay?

See you tonight.

Look at this.

Now we no longer have a watertight plan.

Don't worry, Hund.

I have a secret plan...

saved for the right occasion.

And that occasion is now.

Ah.

Are you thinking about the upcoming battle against Jarl Bjørn?

Of course.

And if we succeed,

we won't lose a single man.

Prepare your marching boots.

We leave at dusk.

Jarl Varg?

Varg?

I'm not sure we're in the right place.

Oh,

yes, we are.

Then I'm not sure this is such a good idea.

Why not?

This place is called the Dragon Valley.

They say a scary dragon lives in this area.

That's exactly why we are here.

If we can get...

the dragon on our side...

we'll be invincible.

That's my secret plan.

Hello? Anyone home?

Dragon Rider.

I don't think we have met before.

Torstein Hund. Pleasure.

You got some nerve coming here to Dragon Valley.

What do you want?

War is brewing,

and I would like to use your dragon to scorch.

Jarl Bjørn's army.

Oh.

Well, I don't use my dragon in war.

It's a principle of mine.

It wouldn't be fair since it's so superior, you know.

Yes.

Of course, I understand.

Perhaps we can have a look at it anyway?

Oh, I'd love to invite you in, but, um...

I haven't cleaned.

The place isn't really ready for visitors.

Ah.

Don't worry about that.

I almost have to insist

on seeing the dragon, now that we are here.

Yeah?

Yeah.

She's sleeping.

A really deep sleep.

Can we see the dragon...

- while it's sleeping? - No, no, no, no.

Because if she suddenly wakes up and there are strangers present,

the situation can get completely out of hand.

Fascinating.

Yes, I know.

There I am on the dragon's back,

and there she's breathing fire.

And here you can kind of see the scale of the dragon.

That's the mountain called the Giant Mountain,

- next to the dragon there. - Wow.

The Giant Mountain looks tiny next to it.

We're talking one huge dragon!

Yeah.

I really can't...

get the size to add up.

Oh?

You know, here you are sitting on the back of the dragon, holding on,

almost like an oversized horse,

while there, the dragon is the size of a mountain.

Yeah, sure.

But there is a natural explanation.

There, she was a puppy,

and here, she's fully grown.

Now, what is that?

That is the lure that I command her with.

Interesting.

Do we have time for a small thought experiment?

Yes.

For example,

and it is purely hypothetical...

Mm-hmm.

If I jammed my dagger into your stomach right now

and grabbed that lure,

would the dragon then be under my command?

That's a very good question,

and the answer is no.

And to be honest, the lure is more of an accessory to create

the total package, you know?

No, we're extremely tight, so, uh, the dragon only obeys me.

I see.

I see.

Can I please borrow the dragon, please?

No. Principles are principles.

What do you say to becoming rich?

Rich beyond belief?

Mmm...

I swore an oath to myself

not to ever profit on the dragon, you know?

So, sorry. A no is a no.

Liv... my love!

Now it's off to Iceland, to a new beginning.

Come.

Don't make this any harder than it already is, Arnstein.

Harder, what?

I've gone over this again and again in my head,

and I've come to the conclusion

that it would be disrespectful not to listen to my inner voice.

And what does your inner voice say?

That I can't leave.

Oh.

Olvar has really shown new sides of himself lately.

Really stepped up the game, in a sense.

He gave you jewelry?

Yes. But that's seriously not the reason at all.

It was more about what my inner voice said

when I got this jewelry.

Oh. I see.

It's time to go, buddy.

Oh. What's going on, Liv?

Are you serious? Is...

is he coming with us?

Good luck, Arnstein.

You have new adventures ahead of you.

And again, and I can't emphasize this enough,

I never meant to hurt you.

Bye-bye.

Make sure they get a decent owner at their new place, Sturla.

That was such a shame.

I was really looking forward to having a fire-breathing dragon on our team now.

Yes, me, too.

Wait.

I've changed my mind.

I'll do it,

for the money.

I wouldn't mind being rich beyond belief.

Ah, excellent.

I mean, being rich isn't necessarily the goal.

It's more not having to worry about money, you know.

Right, right.

A wise man once said...

"Money isn't everything,

as long as you have enough of it."

Then we have a deal.

I can already smell burnt human flesh,

and hear the screams of pain

and torment and agony.